Can't Help Falling in Love
by swimmergal06
Summary: Derek Shepherd, Neurosurgeon. Meredith Grey, first grade teacher. What happens when their worlds collide? AU MerDer
1. Chapter 1

**Alright, so first I have to thank the readers of You're Like Coming Home. I was so touched that so many of you loved the story, and I hope you'll all enjoy this one as well. It's a little different, but give it a chance! I briefly toyed with the idea of where this season is going (MerDer wedding, finally!!!!!) But I'm actually really pleased with where the show is taking our favorite characters right now, and I want to see it done their way, not mine. **

**So...in this fic Meredith and Derek are about the same age, living in Seattle. Derek's in med school, studying to be a neurosurgeon, but Meredith's a teacher. I know it's a little different, but as previous readers know, I love writing in the AU. And as you also know, I love writing what you'd like to see, so if you have any ideas for where you'd like the story to go, or what you'd like to see happen, I'm always excited to combine all of your ideas with my own to create a story that you'll enjoy. I've written the first chapter, but I'll be out of town for the next couple days, so you'll just have a little taste of what this will be like. I hope you enjoy it! Again, many thanks to those who have been so supportive in the last fic :)  
**

Meredith sighed as she rested her head in her hands, wondering why she had chosen a career that seemed to come with a constant migraine. First graders were a lot of fun, and she usually loved working with them, but today was just a bad day. She'd woken with a major headache, which had only worsened throughout the day as her students approached her with questions about every little thing under the sun and parents called and demanded to know why their children weren't already performing multi variable calculus. Now it was almost time for dismissal, and she couldn't wait to go home and take a long hot bath before collapsing into bed. She knew it was lame, but she just wanted to feel like a normal person again. And soon as she got rid of this stupid migraine, she might feel slightly normal again.

"Miss Grey! Miss Grey!" Meg cried as she ran to her desk. "I colored you a new picture!"

"Inside voice, Meg," Meredith sighed, pulling her head out of her hands as she took the piece of paper from the hands of one of her brightest students. "Wow, this is beautiful. But you're supposed to be working on your counting review from kindergarten."

"I finished already," Meg shrugged. "And my uncle says that if I'm all done with my work, then I can color."

Meredith smiled softly as she pinned Meg's drawing to her bulletin board. "Well, you're uncle sounds very nice," she nodded. "But now why don't you go spend some time in the reading corner?"

"Okay!" Meg exclaimed, hugging Meredith around the waist before she ran to the corner of the room that was surrounded by short bookshelves and boasted a few beanbags.

Meredith sighed as she rested her head against the cool surface of her desk. This was only her second year of teaching, but she could already feel that she was going to have a fun class. Meg was one of the brightest in the class, but for the two weeks that she'd been teaching these students she could already tell that they were all very eager to learn. She'd enjoyed teaching them so far, and she knew that each of her students showed a completely unique promise of becoming amazing individuals.

But right now, all she wanted was a head that didn't throb with every tick of the clock as the time crept closer and closer to three o'clock.

"Alright," she announced as she pushed herself off of her seat and made her way to the front of the classroom. "How many people are still working on their kindergarten review?"

A few students raised there hands, and Meredith nodded. "Alright, good job to those of you who did," she said. "And it's okay if you didn't. I want you to take out your homework folders and put the worksheet in the take home side. And remember to bring it to your parents and bring it back to school on Monday. When you've put your homework away, I want you to make sure your desk is clear so we can clean them before we pack up for dismissal."

To her surprise, a majority of the students cleared their desks with minimal distractions. There was a great deal of noise as they did so, but she couldn't complain when they were at least doing what she asked. Beggars couldn't be choosers.

"Alright," she announced, trying not to jump up and down as the clock hit two forty five. "Walkers are heading to Mrs. Pryor's class, bussers to Miss Myer's, and if your parents are picking you up, you'll be staying here. And I know a lot of you are starting your soccer season this weekend, so have fun with that! I'll see you on Monday."

There was a flurry of activity as her students made their way to the door, leaving two students in the classroom. Mike's mother came a few minutes later and Meredith chatted with her quickly for a few moments before they hurried to soccer practice. Meredith turned back to her classroom, smiling at Meg Scott as she sat quietly at her desk, humming as she colored quietly.

"And you, Miss Meg," she sighed. "Where is your mommy?"

"My mommy's not picking me up," Meg reported. "She's a resdent now. My uncle's picking me up, cause he's still in doctor school."

Meredith sighed. Nothing was worse than someone picking up one of her students who didn't know that the three o clock pick up time was strictly enforced.

"Excuse me, I'm looking for a little princess," a male voice said from the doorway. "Has there been a princess here anywhere?"

"Uncle Derek!" Meg shouted, jumping out of her desk and running to the man in the doorway. "You're here!"

"I'm here," he laughed, pulling her onto his hip. "How's my favorite niece?"

Meg giggled. "Uncle Derek, I'm your only niece," she said.

"Doesn't mean you're not my favorite," Derek shrugged. "You got some love for your favorite uncle?"

Meg leaned forward and kissed his cheek gently, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Thank you," Derek laughed. "Where's your backpack?"

"In my cubby."

"Well, go ahead and get it, and then we'll go get some ice cream," Derek said as he set her on the ground.

"Really?" Meg asked, her eyes wide.

"As long as you tell your mom we went to mini golf," Derek nodded.

"Yay!" Meg yelled, running towards the cubbies, stopping when Meredith grabbed her shoulder.

"Meg Scott, is that how we behave in school?" she asked.

"Sorry Miss Grey," Meg said, walking towards the cubbies at a much slower pace.

Meredith sighed as she turned to look at Meg's uncle. Her very…attractive uncle.

"So you're Miss Grey, huh?" Derek asked, leaning against the doorframe. "I've heard a lot about you from Meg. I'm Derek Shepherd."

"Mr. Shepherd," Meredith nodded, walking behind her desk as she slid some papers into her bag.

"Meg says that you're the best teacher she's ever had," Derek persisted, pushing himself off the door to stand in front of her desk.

"I'm her second teacher," Meredith stated.

Derek laughed as he glanced over his shoulder at his niece as she placed her chair upside down on top of her desk. "She's very smart you know."

Meredith stared at him for a moment, wondering where the hell this guy thought he could just try to carry on a conversation with her. This was making a bad day already worse, and her migraine had just doubled in intensity. "I know."

"Are you ignoring me?" Derek frowned as she turned to slide her laptop into her bag.

"Trying to," she replied, her hair falling into her face.

Derek frowned, resisting the urge to push her hair back from her face. "You really shouldn't do that."

"Why not?" Meredith asked, her head snapping up to meet him, breathing in deeply as she realized just how blue this man's eyes were.

Derek glanced at his niece again before he leaned over the desk to whisper in her ear, "I'm someone you need to get to know to love."

Meredith swallowed hard, watching as he pulled back, reaching for his niece. "Ready to go, Meg?" he asked, smiling widely at Meredith.

"Ready Uncle Derek!" Meg cried. "Bye Miss Grey!"

"Bye Meg," Meredith sighed, ignoring Derek. With any luck, he would never meet this man ever again.

"Good bye…Miss Grey," Derek said with an edge to his voice that made her spine tingle in a way that she'd never felt before.

"Mr. Shepherd," she whispered, watching as he walked out of the classroom. The man was pushy, and it was completely obvious that he'd wanted to go out with her, but she had to admit…he had a great ass.

XXXXX

"This is really good ice cream, Uncle Derek," Meg giggled as she shoved another spoonful of strawberry ice cream into her mouth.

"I'm glad you like it," Derek laughed as he ran a hand over her hair. "I'm still surprised that you ordered strawberry though. Usually you order chocolate chocolate chip."

"Miss Grey says that strawberry is her favorite ice cream," Meg reported. "We were playing a getting to know you game at the beginning of school and she said strawberry's her favorite. And I really like Miss Grey, so I want to like strawberry ice cream too."

Derek nodded as Meg scooped more ice cream into her mouth. This was his perfect chance.

"So you like Miss Grey a lot, don't you?" he asked casually.

"She's real nice," Meg nodded. "And she always makes sure that I have something to do when I finish all my work before the rest of the class. All the pictures I draw for her are on the board next to her desk."

"That is really nice," Derek nodded. "What else does Miss Grey say she likes?"

"She likes chocolate cake," Meg nodded. "And her favorite movie is the Little Mermaid, just like me."

"Good to know," Derek nodded. He watched as Meg finished the last of her ice cream, wondering how to ask his six year old niece whether her teacher had a boyfriend or not.

"And she said that her boyfriend used to tell her she ate too much," Meg continued. "But she broke up with him cause he was seeing her and another girl at the same time."

Derek raised his eyebrows. "She told your class this?" he asked doubtfully.

"Mayyyyyyyyybe," Meg said, looking down at her hands, fidgeting slightly.

"Margaret Ann Scott," Derek warned, looking at her carefully. "Are you lying to your Uncle Derek?"

"Of course not," Meg said, looking up at him before she sighed. "Maybe."

Derek sighed as he leaned forward, tilting her chin to look into his eyes. "You know what adults say about lying," he said.

"I'm sorry," she sighed.

"It's okay," Derek nodded. "Just don't do it anymore, okay? Otherwise I'll have to tell your mom, and I don't want to get you in trouble."

"Fine," Meg sighed. "I might have snuck into the teacher's room one day and heard Miss Grey talking to Miss Myer."

"Ahh," Derek nodded. "I have a feeling that you're not supposed to do that either."

"Not really," Meg whispered. "But they were supposed to have cookies."

"Alright, that's not my rule, so I won't get you in trouble," Derek laughed. "But…feel free to tell me anything else you know about Miss Grey."

"She's my favoritest teacher ever," Meg sighed. "And I'm only her second class."

Second class. That meant she was probably twenty three or four. Which was good. He was only twenty five, and he could definitely date his niece's teacher. Or…he could if he didn't have a girlfriend.

"Uncle Derek?" Meg asked, looking up at him.

"Yeah?" Derek asked, turning his attention back to his niece.

"Why are you asking all about Miss Grey?" Meg sighed.

"I…" Derek trailed off, wondering what to tell her. Before he could think of anything to say, his eyes were immediately drawn to the door as it opened, his heart dropping when he saw his girlfriend walk in. Damn.

"Hi Derek," Rose grinned, moving to sit beside him in the booth, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him quickly. "Hi Meg."

"Hi Miss Rose," Meg said politely, suddenly shy.

"What are you doing here?" Derek asked, pulling back as he looked at Rose carefully. He hoped he didn't sound mean, but he couldn't get that tiny blonde out of his head. And the last thing he wanted was to have his niece tell his girlfriend that he'd just been pumping her for information about her very young, very attractive teacher.

"I just wanted to say hi," Rose frowned, pulling back. "Is that okay?"

Derek shrugged as he glanced at his normally happy niece, watching as she crossed her arms over her chest and stared at them. Apparently Kathleen hadn't been exactly discreet about her feelings towards Rose. He had to remember to thank his older sister for that.

"It's fine," he shrugged. "I was just on a hot date with Princess Meg though. I'm not sure how she feels about another girl being here."

Rose smiled as she let go of him to lean towards Meg. "Well, I'd never stand in the way of true love," she said. "What do you think, Meg? Can Aunt Rose crash your date with Uncle Derek."

"You're not my aunt," Meg pointed out, reciting exactly what Derek was thinking, and causing Rose to frown.

"Well…not yet," Rose said, causing Derek to choke on his water. If she was expecting a proposal…she had another thing coming.

"Uncle Derek, can we go home?" Meg asked, ignoring Rose's comment. "My tummy hurts real bad."

"Must have been the second scoop," he sighed, standing and pulling her into his arms. "I've got to get her home," he said to Rose.

"Okay," Rose nodded. "I'll go with you."

"No, that's okay," Derek shrugged. "Kath will probably rope me into staying for dinner. And I have a test on Thursday, so I'll just study for the rest of the night."

"Derek…" Rose sighed, staring up at him with a frown.

"It's fine," Derek shrugged, leaning down to kiss her cheek, more out of obligation than out of desire. "I'll call you."

Rose frowned as she watched Derek walk out of the ice cream parlor, holding his niece on his hip as he tickled her stomach. There was something going on with her boyfriend, and she wasn't sure she wanted to know what it was.

XXXXX

"Derek, seriously, I don't know how many times I've told you not to give her ice cream after school," Kathleen sighed as she sank onto the couch. "It's going to take forever for Chris to get her down."

Derek sighed as he took another pull of his beer. "It's Friday, Kath," he sighed. "Kids deserve a special treat on Fridays."

"Well, kids who have two parents as doctors with 6 am shifts on Saturday morning don't need to be on sugar highs until midnight," Kathleen replied, shifting to rest her head on his shoulder. "So guess where she'll be dropped off at five thirty tomorrow morning."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Fine," he said. "I'll just read to her about ortho. I've got a test next week."

Kathleen winced. "Ortho's the worst," she said. "I still think you should go psych."

"Neuro, all the way," Derek shook his head. "It's not like I can even declare. Or you can declare, for that matter."

Kathleen shrugged, but before she could answer, Chris ran down the stairs, running a hand through his hair. "I've done everything I can Kath," he sighed. "But thanks to your brother your daughter thinks it's a good idea to perform gymnastics in the middle the hallway."

"Derek, I'm so going to kill you," Kathleen groaned as she pushed herself off the couch, moving towards the stairs.

Chris rolled his eyes as he sat down in the chair across from Derek. "You spoil my daughter, Shep," he said.

"Every kid needs a fun uncle," Derek shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

"Well, Kathleen thinks it is," Chris said. "You may not want to be here when she comes back down. Chances are she'll be in the mood to kill someone. She can't kill me, she needs me for more babies."

Derek sighed as he finished his beer, then stood and grabbed his coat. "I'll see you soon," he said to his brother in law.

"Definitely," Chris nodded as he closed the door gently behind him.

Derek sighed as he got into his car and started the drive back to his home, wondering why he couldn't get his niece's enchanting blonde teacher out of his head.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks for being so patient with me! I'm really glad that you're all excited about this story, and I've got a lot of ideas of where to take this. I'll be around for the next couple days, and on Thursday I'll be in Europe for a few weeks, so...enjoy the updates while you can! Thanks for all the support and enjoy!**

"Katie, don't eat the paste sweetie," Meredith sighed as she moved quickly around her classroom, helping her students to clip their artwork to the clothesline running through the classroom. Feeling much better today, she was enjoying the entertainment her students provided her with as they put together collages of their favorite things.

She past by Meg Scott's desk, glancing down at her collage briefly and smiling softly as she saw a magazine cutout of a doctor. She knew her parents were both doctors, but that damn uncle of hers was in med school as well.

She hated that she'd spent her entire weekend thinking about that stupid arrogant man that had been trying to pick her up in the middle of her classroom, in front of his niece. But she hadn't been able to get that smirk out of her head, and she knew that there was a small part of her that was attracted to his clear blue eyes and his perfect wavy hair.

But she couldn't date him. Not when his niece was in her class, and not when she had any self respect. The man was obviously way too in love with himself, and she wasn't sure where she would fit into that picture.

"Great job, Meg," she said, crouching down beside the little girl's desk as she picked up the collage. She chastised herself for being a horrible teacher as she felt the desire to pump her for information about her uncle.

"Thanks Miss Grey," Meg exclaimed, taking the picture from her hands. "You want me to tell you about it?"

"I would love that," Meredith nodded enthusiastically.

"Okay, so that's a golden retriever, just like my dog Pip," Meg said. "And that's Dora, cause she's the bestest. And right there is a doctor cause Mommy and Daddy are both doctors, and so is Aunt Nancy. And Uncle Derek and Aunt Liz are in doctor school."

"Wow," Meredith nodded. Med school. She had to admit that was impressive.

"And that's a Christmas tree," Meg continued. "Cause we love Christmas at my house. There's lots of presents."

Meredith smiled as she patted the girl on the back. "It's a wonderful collage, Meg," she said. "Why don't you go hang it up on the clothespins to display for everyone to see?"

"Okay!" Meg cried, giggling as she ran over to the windows.

"Walk please," Meredith said automatically as she stood, frowning when she saw Derek Shepherd standing in the doorway. She rolled her eyes as she looked over the class for a moment, then said. "Alright, everyone, I'm going to step into the hall for one minute. I want you all to use your big kid behavior and inside voices. Got it?"

She was met with a series of nods, and she walked out the door, leaving it open so she could see and hear everything that was going on.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed. "It's the middle of the day."

"I needed to ask Meg something," Derek shrugged. "It's first grade."

Meredith narrowed her eyes as she placed her hands on her hips. "Are you saying that first grade doesn't matter?" she asked.

"No…" Derek said softly. "I just…she can take a couple minutes out of adding and making shapes to talk to her favorite uncle."

"That's not the point," Meredith rolled her eyes. "The point is that there are a bunch of six year olds in there that still aren't adjusted to the idea of school. We can't have relatives just waltzing into the classroom all day. We need to teach them stability. And what could possibly be so important that you can't wait three hours to talk to her? She's six."

Derek smiled softly as he leaned in to whisper, "I need to know what her adorable teacher thinks of her charming uncle."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "If we weren't in the middle of a first grade hallway, I'd be more than happy to answer that honestly," she said. "If you need to see Meg, come back at three."

"You don't even want to talk to me?" Derek frowned.

"I'm working," Meredith exclaimed. "Apparently you think first grade is completely useless, but it is important. And if you can't understand that, then maybe you should have one of her aunts pick her up from now on."

"I never said that," Derek rolled his eyes. "You really shouldn't put words and people's mouths."

"And you shouldn't barge into people's places of work and act like an idiot," Meredith said. "Good-bye Mr. Shepherd."

Derek frowned as he watched her step back into her classroom, closing the door firmly behind her. He definitely hadn't been expecting that. But he couldn't deny the definite attraction he felt towards this woman, and he knew he had to get to know her better. He just had to figure out a way to do it so she wouldn't say no.

XXXXX

"Dude, what's wrong with you?" Mark frowned as he looked at Derek over a beer later that night. "You've been moping around all day. Is Daisy holding out on you?"

"That's not her name and you know it," Derek rolled his eyes as he took a long pull on his beer. A sudden rush of guilt washed over him as he thought of Rose. He had a girlfriend, someone that he was perfectly happy spending time with and seeing casually. But he couldn't see a future with her, and he couldn't help feeling guilty at the way Miss Grey had completely dominated his thoughts. He didn't even know the woman's first name, and he was already depressed that she had turned him down. He was a mess.

"Whatever," Mark shrugged. "You know she's no good for you? Too much candy. And with you being the health freak you are, it just wouldn't work out."

"I'm not a health freak," Derek insisted. "I took Meg for ice cream last week."

"And I bet you got that low fat dairy vanilla crap," Mark replied.

"Shut up," Derek said, not wanting to admit that he was right.

"Thought so," Mark nodded. "Seriously, what's going on?"

Derek sighed as he set his beer on the bar. "Miss Grey," he sighed.

Mark raised an eyebrow. "You've got some kinky fantasy I'm not aware of, Shep?" he asked.

"Meg's teacher," Derek continued, ignoring Mark's comments. "She's…completely enchanting. I went to pick Meg up the other day and now I can't stop thinking about her."

"Hold on," Mark frowned. "You want to fuck your six year old niece's teacher? Maybe you're not as boring as I thought."

"It's not just that," Derek shook his head. "I mean, yes, I'm definitely attracted to her. But it's also…I want to know everything about her. I want to make her laugh. I just want to know…her."

"Are you serious?" Mark asked.

"All I know about her is that she loves strawberry ice cream and doesn't have a boyfriend," Derek sighed. "And when she gets mad…her eyes turn this amazing shade of green that I've never seen before."

"Are you going to ask her out?" Mark asked.

Derek sighed as he finished the last of his beer in one sip. "I want to," he sighed. "But I don't know if she'll say yes."

"And there's the Plant you have to worry about."

"Don't call her that," Derek snapped.

Before Mark could respond, a loud giggle pierced through the bar to meet Derek's ears, and his head snapped up to match the face to the sound. When his eyes landed on Miss Grey in the corner of the bar, his eyes widened, and a slow smile spread over his features. Mark frowned as he watched Derek set his beer on the counter, moving towards the corner of the room. His eyes followed Derek's across the bar to rest on four girls giggling in a corner booth, his breath suddenly leaving his chest. He watched in interest as his best friend moved towards the table of beautiful women, intrigued by what he was about to see.

"So," Derek breathed as he leaned into Meredith's ear. "Is this a good place to hang out?"

He could feel her freeze as she recognize his voice, and she slowly turned to stare at him as her eyes took on the same angry quality they always did when she saw him. "What the hell are you doing here?" she demanded.

"You know him, Mer?" the blonde asked from across the table. "She knows McDreamy," she whispered to the Asian sitting beside her.

"Shhh, I'm trying to listen," the woman replied, leaning towards Meredith.

"McDreamy, huh?" Derek asked, leaning against the table. "I think I want to hear more about this."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "My friends are crazy," she said. "And you're annoying."

Derek frowned. "I think I'm hurt," he said.

"You never answered my question," Meredith ignored him.

"Last time I checked this was a free country," Derek shrugged. "A man can come to a bar if he wants."

"This is my bar," Meredith replied.

"You're a teacher, isn't bar hopping frowned upon?" Derek asked.

"You're infuriating," Meredith snapped, standing. "Lexie, help me with the drinks."

"I'll help," Derek offered, moving to walk with her towards the bar.

"Actually, you know what, we're leaving," Meredith said, reaching for her coat.

"What?" the girl named Lexie asked. "We just got here."

"Well, we're leaving now," Meredith said.

"Don't leave," Derek sighed. "I'll leave you alone. As long as you let me know your name."

Meredith stared at him for a long moment before she turned and stormed out of the bar, leaving her three friends staring after her in shock. Lexie moved towards the door with the Asian woman, and the blonde smiled slightly at him as she slid into her coat. "It's Meredith," she said as she pulled her bag over her shoulder. "Her name. It's Meredith." She smiled softly as she walked out of the bar, not giving him a second glance as he stared after her.

"Meredith," Derek breathed, testing her name on his lips. "Meredith Grey."

He made his way back to the bar, grabbing another beer and sipping it as he collapsed back beside Mark. "Dude," Mark shook his head. "Is that the hot teacher?"

Derek sighed as he nodded slowly. "That's her," he nodded.

"She's hot," Mark said. "Didn't think you had it in you, Shep."

"She hates me," Derek shrugged. "Why should I ruin something I have with Rose for something that could be with Meredith?"

"You're asking me for relationship advice?" Mark laughed. "You might want to get your head checked out, Shep."

"That's how desperate I am," Derek sighed. "I just need to figure out a way for her to get to spend some time with me without hating my existence. I need to know her."

XXXXX

"So you met him at school?" Izzie asked as she followed Meredith into their house later that night.

"Izzie, drop it," Meredith rolled her eyes, throwing her jacket over the railing and moving towards the stairs.

"Mer, we just want to know more about him," Lexie said as she followed her up the stairs. "What's his name?"

"What's he do?" Izzie asked.

"Why do you hate him? He obviously likes you."

"Seriously?" Meredith asked. "Why does that matter? I don't like him, he's annoying and crazy, and I don't want to talk about it. Just leave it at that."

"But Mer," Izzie insisted. "He's cute and charming and he likes you. And you wouldn't give him the time of day."

"Because he's stubborn and pig headed," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And his niece is in my class. So I can't date him. Even if I wanted to, which I don't, so it doesn't matter."

"I think you're lying," Lexie stated. "You like him. Don't you think she likes him?" she asked Izzie.

"She does like him," Izzie nodded, turning back to Meredith. "You like him. And he likes you. So you should go out with him."

"I have an idea," Meredith rolled her eyes as she stood in the doorway to her bedroom, her body blocking them from entering. "How about the two of you leave me alone and go to your own rooms and think about your own love lives instead of imposing on mine?"

With that, she slammed the door shut, ignoring the murmurs of her friend and sister as they made their way down the hall towards their own rooms.

She flung herself onto her bed, burying her face in her pillow as she tried to push Derek Shepherd out of her thoughts. She couldn't believe that she'd had the unfortunate luck to run into him twice today, and she hated the way he was completely dominate her thoughts as soon as she laid eyes on him.

She wasn't sure what it was about him that was so completely captivating. He was attractive, she'd give him that, but not any more so than other men that she'd met. And he was completely annoying and egotistical, and she hated the fact that he didn't understand the importance of what she did. It was as if first grade wasn't important to him, and that was one of her biggest pet peeves.

Derek Shepherd was completely crazy, and she was sure that if she ever saw him again, it would been too soon.

XXXXX

"Look, I know it's a lot to ask, Liz," Derek heard his sister say as he walked into his parents house at the end of the week. "But I promised I would help with the fall picnic, and they need me at the hospital. Can't you just go in for an hour?"

"I've got a date," Liz argued. "I can't."

"You're the worst sister ever."

"Girls," Emma sighed as she set a plate of bread down in the middle of the table. "You are not children anymore. Please don't make me treat you like ones."

"Mom, she's totally being unfair!" Liz cried. "She wants me to drop my date with Shawn because she's too lazy to ask for time off when she needs it."

"What's going on?" Derek asked as he stepped into the kitchen.

"Derek," Emma smiled, moving closer to her son as he reached to pull her into his arms. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Derek nodded, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Hi Dad."

"Hi Derek," Michael said from the stove. "How's school?"

"It's school," Derek shrugged, clapping his dad on the back as he moved towards the fridge for a beer. "How's the store?"

"Business is good," Michael nodded. "I've got a new model of guitars coming in next week."

"I'll come check them out," Derek said as he popped the top off of his beer and looked at his sisters as they stared at each other from across the table. "What's with them?"

"Well, no one's taken the time from arguing to tell me exactly what's going on," Michael sighed. "But from what I gather, Kathleen was supposed to do something for Meg's classroom, but then she was scheduled to be on call. She asked Liz to go in her place, which apparently started World War Three between the Shepherd Sisters."

Derek nodded as he took a sip of his beer, wondering if he should do what he wanted to. He hadn't heard from Meredith since she'd stormed out of the bar the week earlier, but he had been trying to figure out a way to get her to talk to him without causing physical damage to himself. Meredith was small, but he was pretty sure she could hurt him if she really wanted to.

"I'll do it," he heard himself saying as he moved towards his sisters and caused everyone in the room to stare at him.

"What?" Kathleen asked.

"I'll take care of your volunteer stuff," Derek shrugged. "I'm a good uncle."

Kathleen smiled slowly as she glanced at her sister and parents. "I don't know," she said. "I think this might have something to do with Meg's hot teacher."

Emma gasped and Liz giggled, causing Derek to bury his hands in his hair and wonder why he ever told his sisters anything. As his mother burdened him with questions and his sisters gently teased him, he couldn't help but smile at the fact that he was going to get to see Meredith Grey again. And maybe this time it would be in her good graces.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thanks for the reviews! I'm glad you're all enjoying the story so far :)**

Meredith sighed as she moved quickly through her classroom as she handed out papers to the class. She was trying to control the children who had been excited all day. The annual fall picnic was taking place this afternoon, and although they were supposed to be getting work done this morning, they all knew that they were going to have an afternoon of fun and games and none of them were able to concentrate on their practice writing.

"Alright," she announced as she stopped in the front of the classroom. "I know you're all excited about this afternoon, but no one is leaving the classroom if you writing isn't finished. So let's get going so we can have some fun outside, okay?"

That worked to quickly quiet down the classroom, and Meredith sighed in relief as she made her way to her desk, sitting down as she reached for the spelling tests from earlier that morning, wanting to get them done before the end of the day. She smiled as she listened to the quiet whispering of her students, always amused by the way they thought everything they talked about was the most important thing in the world.

"My mommy's bringing apple pie to the picnic," Sawyer whispered loudly at the cluster of desks in front of her.

"My dad's bringing apple cider," Charlie said.

"My mommy made pumpkin pie," Meg reported. "But she had to go be a doctor. So my Uncle Derek's going to bring it."

Meredith froze, her hand poised over the stack of spelling tests. The last thing she wanted was to deal with Derek Shepherd today. Actually, she didn't want to deal with Derek Shepherd ever, but it was worse when he was here, trying to distract her from her job. The man was infuriating, and she knew that she was in for a long afternoon.

"Miss Grey?" there was a quick knock on the door and a woman leaned into the room. "There's a slight problem with the picnic supplies."

Meredith sighed as she stood and moved towards Jack's mother, trying to ignore the way she was shaking as she thought about Derek Shepherd. She didn't want to allow that man to have so much power over herself. "What's wrong?" she asked, hoping that this wouldn't be a complete disaster.

An hour later, she found herself running around her empty classroom, trying to find extra tablecloths and wondering why she had decided to become a teacher. Sometimes brain surgery really did sound easier than managing a picnic for twenty five six year olds, even if she did have help from parents. And annoying uncles with perfect hair.

"Isn't there a party going on somewhere around here?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway and she froze for a moment before she stood and turned to face him.

"Look, I know you're here for Meg, and that's great, really," she nodded. "But I can't deal with this right now, so you should just go outside with the rest of the parents."

Derek frowned as he crossed his arms and leaned against the doorframe. "Deal with what?" he asked.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "This," she said, gesturing to him. "You being all McDreamy and trying to get me to go out with you. I'm in the middle of a crisis, and I can't deal with you hitting on me right now, so just…go see Meg."

Derek sighed as he pushed himself off the doorframe and stepped towards her. "What's wrong?" he asked.

"Everything," she sighed, dropping into the nearest chair, even though it was much to small for her. "I know you think it's stupid, but it's really important to my students that this picnic is perfect. And since it's important to them, it's important to me."

"I don't think it's stupid," Derek frowned, moving to crouch in front of her. "Maybe I can help. Tell me what's going on."

"Well, I have six students who are allergic to apples, and they're upset that they can't take part in the pie tasting contest, and the mom who was supposed to bring the pumpkin pie never showed up, so there's no desert for the kids that are allergic to apples," she sighed. "And the tablecloths are flying up into the food on the picnic tables, which makes even more of a mess than the kids have already made." Meredith sighed as she stood and moved towards the closet in the corner of her classroom. "I think I have some lolly pops in here somewhere, but that's not nearly as good as the apple pie the other kids are having."

"Okay," Derek nodded. "This is all pretty fixable."

Before Meredith could respond, a mother walked into the room, smiling sympathetically at her. "Miss Grey, there's a problem with the speakers," she said. "We're trying to find another way for the students to play musical chairs, but the boom box isn't loud enough without the external speakers."

"Great," Meredith sighed, dropping the pile of napkins she was holding onto the nearest desk. "Um…I'll see if the custodians know where we can get some different speakers," she said. "Just…let them play on the playground until I can figure something out."

"Okay," the mother said before she turned and walked back outside, leaving Derek and Meredith alone in the room.

"Look, you can just go out with the students, I'll try and figure this out," Meredith said. "I just…can't deal with this right now."

"I can help," Derek nodded. "Pumpkin pie, sturdy table cloths and speakers. Anything else?"

"You…what?" Meredith asked.

"Give me half an hour," Derek said, leaning towards her with a smile. "I promise I'll get everything you need to make the picnic perfect."

"You don't have to," Meredith shook her head. "I'll just figure something else out."

"Meredith," Derek said softly, and she felt her breath catch in her throat at the soft way her name sounded on his lips. "Let me help you with this."

"Okay," she heard herself saying, suddenly wondering why her knees were weak. "What are you going to do?"

"Trust me," Derek said with a smile, brushing his hand over her arm and winking. "I'll make sure you get your perfect picnic. Just go outside and enjoy spending time with your students. I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Okay," she repeated. "Um…thanks."

"My pleasure," Derek said softly, looking closely into her eyes for a moment, causing her to stop breathing and suddenly realizing why Izzie had dubbed him McDreamy.

"You should go," she whispered, suddenly breaking the moment and moving towards the door.

"I should," Derek nodded as he followed her. "I'll be back soon."

Meredith smiled slightly, trying not to think about the fact that she couldn't wait for him to come back again. She wasn't sure why he was so different now, but for some reason she was completely breathless and weak in the knees just thinking about the way he had looked at her.

XXXXX

Derek smiled slightly as he walked around the side of the school to see Meredith Grey standing in the middle of a group of children, smiling widely as they ran around her, giggling as she handed apples out to the class. She was completely breathtaking, and he couldn't help that hope she would want to give him a chance to know her. He had to know her.

When her eyes landed on him, she raised her eyebrows curiously as if asking what he had spent the last half hour doing. He smiled and began walking towards her, captivated by her gaze.

"Pumpkin pie, as ordered," he said as he set the plastic tray down on the bench of the picnic table where they met. "And plastic table clothes. They're heavier, so they won't blow into the food, and you can just wipe them down and keep them in their classroom to use again."

"Oh," Meredith nodded, reaching for the tablecloths. "Thanks."

"No problem," he nodded. "And I couldn't get speakers, but I've got the next best thing. Or, what I hope is the next best thing."

"And that would be?" Meredith asked, raising her eyebrows.

Derek smiled as he held up the guitar case in his hand. "Me."

"You?" Meredith repeated, staring at the guitar case before she stared into his eyes again. "You play the guitar."

"I play the guitar," Derek nodded, a smile on his lips.

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Um…okay. I guess. You know how to play musical chairs, right?"

Derek rolled his eyes. "Of course I know how to play musical chairs," he said. "I'll be fine."

"Okay," Meredith smiled, moving back towards the kids that were running around the playground. "Um, I guess I'll get them set up while you tune the guitar?"

"Perfect," Derek nodded, setting the case down and pulling his guitar out. Meredith watched him for a moment, trying to calm herself as she felt a sudden rush of heat wash over her at the sight of Derek cradling the guitar close to him.

She swallowed hard as she forced herself to look away, quickly herding her students as they ran excitedly towards the circle of chairs that were sitting in the middle of the field. She stepped back as she watched Derek step into the middle of the circle, guitar strapped over his shoulder.

"Alright, who's ready to play musical chairs?" he asked, laughing as the kids all burst into cheers of excitement. Derek laughed as he strummed a few chords before beginning to sing softly, a song that Meredith recognized as a popular children's song that Meg was always humming under her breath.

She smiled softly as she sat down on the picnic bench, watching as Derek laughed and joked around with her students. She suddenly wasn't sure why she had been so infuriated by him for the past few weeks. He was obviously very good with children, and she couldn't help but feel a stronger attraction towards him at the sight of him with a guitar in his hands. Maybe going on a date with him wouldn't be as bad as she'd originally thought.

"Alright, we have a winner," Derek's laughing voice said as he turned towards Meredith. "Do we have a prize, Miss Grey?" His eyes sparkled slightly, and she nodded as she reached for the plastic bucket of candy sitting on the picnic table.

"Alright, Brittany, come on over to pick some candy from the candy jar," she said. "And everyone else, it's almost time to go home. Let's each take one thing inside so that we can all get home quickly."

There was a frenzy of activity as students ran towards parents, handing them goody bags before they ran towards the picnic tables, gathering paper plates and tablecloths as they filed back into the classroom.

"Well, that's one way to clean up the mess," Derek laughed from behind her as he snapped his guitar case closed.

"I guess," Meredith smiled. "Look, I know that you're probably taking Meg him and you've already helped so much, but if you want to stay for a couple minutes after I get everything settled inside…."

"I'd love to stay," Derek nodded. "And I actually don't have to take Meg home, she's going home with her friend Allie today."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Okay, well, I have to get in there to do dismissal, so if you want to come with me."

Derek nodded as he followed her into the classroom. Dismissal was quick and easy, with a majority of the parents already there to assist with the picnic and simply taking their children home. Within twenty minutes, Meredith found herself alone in the classroom with Derek, not having missed the careful way Derek had made sure that his niece was ready to go to her friend's house and had everything she needed before she left school for the weekend.

"Thanks so much for saving the day earlier," she said with a smile as she moved through the classroom, running a wet paper towel over the student desks.

"No problem," Derek said as he dumped a pile of used paper plates into the trashcan.

"Although, I have to say, I never pegged you as a guitar player," Meredith laughed as she stopped in front of him, throwing the paper towels into the trash before looking up into his eyes.

"Don't peg me," Derek shook his head, smiling softly. "I'm not peggable."

"You're totally pegable," Meredith laughed as she stepped away from him, moving towards her desk. "And you're not peggable as a guitar player."

"I've played the guitar since I was old enough to hold one," Derek said as he leaned against her desk, arms crossed over his chest. "My dad owns a music store, he loves music. He started me on every single instrument as soon as I was old enough to understand the concept of making music."

"Really?" Meredith asked. "What else do you play?"

"Nothing anymore," Derek shrugged. "The guitar was the only one I liked enough to keep playing."

"And why was that?" Meredith asked.

Derek smirked as he leaned closer to her. "It helps with the girls," he whispered. "Don't think I didn't see the look on your face when I pulled that guitar out."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she said.

"You know, I am available for…private concerts," Derek said with a smile as he breathed into her ear.

"Okay, seriously, why do you say things like that?" Meredith asked. "Because today you were all perfect and dreamy, and then…you go and say things like that that make me feel like you only want to be with me because I'd be a good lay. It's like there's two of you, and I really like one of you, but the other one just makes me so mad, and I don't know which is the real you…"

"Do you want to get coffee with me?" Derek interrupted, smiling softly at her ramble.

"I…what?" Meredith asked.

"Do you want to go out with me?" Derek asked softly.

"Which you is asking?" Meredith asked. "The dreamy you or the stupid you?"

Derek laughed as he leaned closer to her. "The real me, Mer," he said softly. "And I like to think that's the dreamy me."

Meredith sighed for a moment as she stared at him, wondering whether she should believe him or not. After a moment, she sighed and nodded. "Fine," she said. "I'll go out with you. But no stupid comments about sex or sleeping together or…sex."

Derek smirked. "Am I that hard to resist?" he asked. "You look at me and think about sex?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You know what, forget it," she sighed as she reached for her coat. "Just…go home and use your hand."

"No," Derek laughed, reaching out to grab her arm. "I'm kidding. Meredith, I'm kidding."

"Well, I hate it when you kid like that," she snapped. "So if you're going to keep making stupid comments like that, you can just forget about your little coffee date."

"I'll stop," Derek nodded. "Come on, Mer, let's go. And if I make one comment that you deem inappropriate, you can leave, without me trying to stop you."

Meredith sighed as she stared at him. "Fine," she said. "I'll have coffee with you."

"Okay," Derek nodded. "Are you ready?"

"What…now?" Meredith frowned.

"Oh, do you have plans?" Derek asked, suddenly feeling vulnerable. "I just figured you'd have time, but if you have plans we can reschedule."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "I don't have plans, I was just…I'm in my teacher clothes and I just finished work…"

"Well, I personally think that you look adorable," Derek said as he reached out to help her into her coat.

"Are people supposed to look adorable when they go on coffee dates?" Meredith asked.

"I have a hard time imagining you anything but adorable," Derek said as he placed a hand on her lower back and guided her into the empty halls of the school.

"Oh," Meredith said. Obviously he didn't find her to be sexually attractive in the same way she found him to be.

"I…" Derek started, but quickly shook his head. "Never mind."

"What?" Meredith asked.

"I was going to say something else, but I'm afraid that you would see it as inappropriate and leave," he said. "So I stopped."

Meredith smiled up at him as she stepped closer to him, so that his hand now rested on her hip, slung low around her waist. And she couldn't help but feel like she had just stepped home.


	4. Chapter 4

**I'm glad you're all enjoying this story so far! I think you'll like this update :)**

"So you honestly thought you could make it big on the rock and roll scene?" Meredith giggled as she cradled a cup of coffee in her hands.

"Yeah," Derek laughed. "I'll never forget the look on my parents' face when I told them I wasn't going to go to college and instead wanted to go on tour with Mark."

"Who's Mark?" she asked.

"The drummer in our band."

"Who else was in the band?" Meredith giggled.

"Well….we were still working on it."

"It was just the two of you?" she asked.

"I wasn't exactly the most popular kid in school," Derek shrugged. "I was trying to make a name for myself. We could have been like the Clash."

Meredith nearly choked on her coffee. "You though you could be like the Clash?" she asked.

Derek shrugged. "I just think it's a good thing that my dad convinced me to go to college," he said.

"And now you're in med school," Meredith nodded.

Derek raised his eyebrows. "And how might you know that?" he asked.

"Meg may have mentioned something," Meredith said coyly as she sipped her coffee.

"Ahhh," Derek nodded, sipping his own coffee. "Miss Grey, I do believe that you've been prying my niece for information about me."

"I have not," Meredith rolled her eyes. "She's quite the talker. And I'm beginning to think she gets it from the Shepherd side of the family."

Derek smiled softly. "She's a good kid," he nodded.

"She is," Meredith nodded.

"So," Derek said, pushing his empty coffee cup aside and leaning towards her, his eyes boring into hers. "Have you wanted to leave yet?"

Meredith smiled as she set her own cup down. "Not once," she said. "I think I'm getting to know the real Derek Shepherd."

"Hmmm," Derek nodded. "And do you like this so called real Derek Shepherd?" he asked.

"Well, that depends," Meredith shrugged.

"On?"

"On whether he's going to take me out on a real date or not."

Derek raised his eyebrows, not having expected her to be so forward. Apparently there was more to Meredith Grey than he'd originally thought. "Well," he said, the image of his girlfriend flashing through his mind. He had to end it with her before he really started things with Meredith. "How about next Friday?"

"Next Friday," Meredith nodded. "What did you have in mind?"

"Dinner," Derek said softly, leaning into her. "Drinks. Maybe something else, depending on what you're comfortable with."

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled, leaning behind her to pull a piece of paper out of her bag. She scribbled on it for a moment before handing it to him. "Call me," she said. "If I'm interested, maybe I'll say yes."

Derek watched in shock as she stood and slung her bag over her shoulder, smiling coyly at him over her shoulder as she walked out of the coffee shop. That had been completely perfect, the entire afternoon had been amazing, and he couldn't wait to take her out on Friday. He hated that he had to wait so long, but he knew he had to end things with Rose. He quickly swallowed the last of his coffee before he stood, grabbing his jacket off the back of his chair as he moved towards the door, knowing what he had to do.

XXXXX

Meredith sighed as she closed the door to her house, leaning against it and closing her eyes as she relived the entire afternoon in her head. It had been completely amazing, and she was sure that she hadn't ever had such a good time just drinking coffee with another person. Derek had been completely amazing, and she briefly wondered if it was pathetic that she was already hoping that the phone would ring.

"Mer?" Izzie called, coming out from the kitchen. "Where were you?"

Meredith smiled as she pushed herself off the door and slid her coat over her shoulders. "I was drinking coffee," she said."

"You were drinking coffee?" Izzie frowned.

"With Derek," Meredith giggled as she walked into the kitchen.

"With McDreamy?" Izzie asked, following her into the kitchen.

"What about McDreamy?" Lexie asked as she looked up from her textbook as she sat at the kitchen table.

"Mer just went on a date with him," Izzie exclaimed.

"It wasn't a date date," Meredith sighed as she grabbed a water bottle from the fridge. "It was a coffee date."

"A coffee date is a real date," Lexie nodded, slamming her book closed. "Tell us about it, Mer."

"Well, he came to help with the picnic," Meredith said. "And the entire thing was a complete disaster, everything that could possibly have went wrong did. And he went out and bought everything that was missing. And then he brought his guitar because the speakers were broken, and he just played for them. And he really seemed to enjoy it. And after that he asked me if I wanted to go out for coffee, and somehow we ended up spending three and a half hours talking in the coffee shop."

"Is he amazing?" Izzie asked.

"When are you going to see him again?" Lexie questioned.

"Did he kiss you?"

"Oh, I bet he's a good kisser. Is he a good kisser?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You know you're both crazy," she said. "And I didn't kiss him. I gave him my number. We'll see if he calls."

Izzie sighed as she flopped back in her chair. "I was hoping that for once you'd have some juicy details for us," she said.

Meredith laughed as she stood and moved towards the door. "Maybe you should get your own love life," she said, over her shoulder. "And I have no obligations to give you any details about mine."

Lexie sighed as she flipped her textbook open again. "She's so lucky," she sighed. "I can't believe she's not going to give us any details about her date with McDreamy. So not fair."

Izzie shrugged as she moved towards her abandoned bowl of brownie batter. "She'll spill eventually," she shrugged. "I just can't believe Meredith is actually falling for someone."

XXXXX

Derek sighed as he stopped outside Rose's house, glancing at it for a moment as he thought about what he was about to do. He knew he had to do it, he absolutely needed to do it so he could have a chance with Meredith. But as much as he knew he had to do this for himself, he hated that he had to hurt Rose. She wasn't a bad person, and he knew that she was a lot more invested in the relationship than he was. Hopefully she would be able to understand why he had to end it, and there wouldn't be any screaming or crying.

"Derek?" Rose asked from behind him. "Hey, I thought you were eating dinner with your family tonight."

"I am," Derek nodded. "I just…I need to talk to you."

"Sure," Rose said, leaning in to kiss his cheek. "Everything okay?"

"Can we just…go inside?" he asked.

"Okay," Rose frowned, moving around him to unlock the door and stepping inside, Derek close behind her. They moved to the living room and she sat down on the couch, watching as Derek paced the room for a moment before finally settling beside her on the couch. "Derek, what's going on?" she asked, reaching out to take his hand.

"Look, this is hard," Derek said softly. "But I don't think us being together is for the best anymore."

Rose sighed as she pulled her hand away from his, leaning into the back of the couch. "I know," she said softly.

"You…what?" Derek frowned. That had not been the reaction he'd been expecting.

"You've been acting weird for a couple weeks now," Rose said. "And honestly, Derek, I remember when we started dating. You told me it was fun, casual. And as much as I hoped that you would have changed your mind, I should have known better."

"So you're not mad?" Derek asked softly.

"Disappointed," Rose said softly. "But I get it."

"I'm sorry," Derek whispered, for lack of anything else to say.

"It's okay," Rose nodded, leaning forward to press her lips against his softly, a quick good bye kiss. "We were always better as friends anyways."

Derek smiled as he squeezed her hand tightly. "Thanks for understanding," he said softly. "I um…I guess I'll just go. And see you around later."

"Bye Derek," Rose said softly and he smiled sadly as he stepped outside, suddenly feeling a little more free.

He now knew that he could date Meredith with a free conscience, without any reservations. And now that he knew she was attracted to him as well, he couldn't help but feel giddy at the thought of going on a date with her.

XXXXX

"Alright, so the last thing you're going to draw in your picture of your favorite season is a plant from that season," Meredith explained to her class as she pointed towards the poster next to the blackboard. "Remember when we made the chart of plants that belong to each season? You can look at that poster to make sure you have the right plant. Now I believe that Rachel is my paper passer this week, so why don't you hand out a piece of white paper to everyone. And remember everyone, this is a combination of art and science, so make sure I call tell what season you draw based on the comparison chart we did of each season yesterday, okay?"

She smiled as she watched her students pull their crayon boxes out of their desks and begin coloring eagerly. She didn't mind as they started talking as they drew, knowing that it was important for them to have social interactions in school. She made her way around the desks in the classroom, watching as each of her students created their own masterpiece of the representation of their favorite season.

"My favorite flower is a rose," Angela reported as she colored a bright red rose in. "Like in Beauty and the Beast. And Sleeping Beauty."

"I used to like roses," Meg nodded. "But my Uncle Derek's stupid girlfriend is named Rose. So now I don't like them anymore, cause she's crazy."

Meredith froze behind Meg's desk, wondering if she had heard right. Her Uncle Derek couldn't have a girlfriend. Not when he'd taken her out for coffee and taken her phone number and promised her another date, a real date.

"Your Uncle Derek's real fun," Angela said.

"I know, he's the best," Meg nodded. "Except when Miss Rose is around, because she always takes up all her attention."

Meredith frowned as she made her way to her desk. She collapsed behind her desk, staring at its surface as she realized that she must have completely misread Derek Shepherd. She'd finally thought that he was a nice guy, but it turned out that he really had been stringing him along as he'd gone home to his girlfriend. She was stupid, completely stupid to think that maybe she would have had a chance at having a real relationship with a man like Derek Shepherd.

XXXXX

Derek stared at the phone in front of him, tapping his fingers against the surface of his desk. He should have been studying, he really should have been studying, but somehow his eyes had landed on Meredith Grey's phone number, and he began to seriously wonder whether it was pathetic to call her and beg her to go out on a date with him.

It had been three days. Three days since their perfect coffee non-date, and three days since he'd ended his relationship with Rose. He knew that he couldn't call on Saturday, even though he'd wanted to call her the second he was single again. Because he didn't want to be single, he just wanted to be with Meredith Grey. And there was a slightly scary voice in the back of his head saying that he wanted to be with Meredith Grey for the rest of his life.

So it wasn't too soon to call. It was now Monday night, and it wasn't too soon to start the rest of his life with the perfect woman he'd somehow found himself falling for.

With a deep breath, he picked up the phone and quickly dialed her number, tapping the fingers of his free hand against the desk again as he waited for someone to answer. "Hello?"

"Hi, I'm looking for Meredith," he said, immediately realizing that it wasn't Meredith who had answered the phone.

"Um…hang on a second," the woman said, and there was some muffled voices in the background as he heard more voices filtering through the muffled sound of the phone. A moment later, the voice returned and asked, "Can I ask who's calling?"

"Derek," he sighed, running a hand through her hair.

There was more muffling, and he sighed, knowing whoever had answered the phone was filtering his messages through to Meredith. "Um she's actually not here," the voice said again. "She's…working."

Derek heard a groan in the background and he frowned slightly. "She's a teacher," he said. "School ended six hours ago."

The person on the other end sighed and he heard the phone being handed over. "I tried, Mer," a faint voice said.

"You're so dead," Meredith's voice hissed, and a moment later her voice came over the phone. "Can I help you?"

"Oh," Derek frowned, wondering what was going on. "I um…I was just calling to say that I had a great time with you on Friday."

"Okay."

There was something wrong with her. He'd really thought that they'd had a connection, but now she was barely giving him anything to go with. "And I was also wondering if you'd want to go out to dinner on Friday night."

"I don't think that's a good idea," Meredith said. "It's not really a good time, Derek, I have to go."

Before he could say anything else, there was a click on the other end of the line and he stared down at the phone in his hand as he wondered what had just happened.

He hung up slowly, still staring at the phone as the door to the apartment opened and Mark walked in. "Hey."

"Hey," Derek replied distractedly.

Mark looked at Derek closely for a moment before he turned to stare at the phone and asked, "Is there a reason we're staring at the phone?"

Derek sighed as he stood and moved towards the kitchen. "She hung up on me," he said.

"Who?" Mark asked.

"Meredith," Derek answered.

"The hot teacher?" Mark asked. "You called her?"

"Yeah, we had coffee the other day and I really thought there was something there," he said. "But she just hung up on me."

"Did she give you her number?" Mark asked.

"Of course she did," Derek said.

"And she said she wanted to see you again?"

"Yes…well, I don't remember exactly, but…why else would she have given me her number?" Derek asked. "I really thought we had a connection, I've never enjoyed having coffee with someone so much."

"Maybe she dug into your past," Mark suggested. "Found some stuff she didn't like."

Derek rolled his eyes. "That's ridiculous," he said. "It's not like I have anything bad to keep from her." He frowned as he stared down at the phone again, wondering why Meredith had suddenly decided he wasn't worth being with.


	5. Chapter 5

Meredith stared at the TV as she shoved a spoonful of strawberry ice cream into her mouth. A week ago, she had been expecting to be out tonight with Derek, and now she was sitting on the couch dressed in her pajamas as she held a pint of ice cream in her hands as she watched stupid cheesy movies about stupid love with Lexie and Izzie.

"Are you sure you don't even want to talk to him? Izzie asked. "He's called every day this week."

"And maybe he should call his stupid girlfriend," Meredith snapped. "I don't care what he wants from me. It's not going to happen."

The doorbell cut through their conversation, and Lexie sighed as she pushed herself off of the couch. "I'll get it," she said.

Meredith shoved another bite of ice cream into her mouth as she watched the stupid happy couple on the TV kiss, the bride's white dress billowing in the wind. Stupid. She wasn't even sure what the hell she was watching, but she knew it was stupid.

"Um…Mer?" Lexie said from the doorway to the living room. "There's someone here to see you."

"Tell them I'm not here," she said, her mouth full of ice cream.

"That hasn't worked on the phone all week, I'm not about to start falling for it now," Derek's voice said as he stepped into the living room beside Lexie.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she asked, sitting up quickly and setting her ice cream on the table.

"It's Friday," he shrugged. "And since you haven't been answering any of my phone calls, I thought I'd come over to ask you out for dinner in person."

"Well, you wasted your time," Meredith said.

Derek frowned as he looked at her for a moment, glancing at Lexie and Izzie who were staring at the two of them without even trying to disguise their interest. "Um…can we go somewhere more private?" he asked quietly.

"Definitely not," Meredith shook her head. "Look, I'm not going to go out with you. If you want to go out to dinner tonight, maybe you should ask your girlfriend."

"My…what?" Derek breathed, suddenly realizing what was going on.

"You know, I actually thought that I was seeing the real you at the coffee shop the other day," Meredith said. "But your niece, you know the talkative one? She just happened to mention her Uncle Derek's girlfriend in school. So I guess I was right about you to begin with. All the stupid sexual innuendos were all just you trying to get me to sleep with you. And I'm not that girl so just….go home."

"Meredith," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair as he moved closer to her. "I didn't…I'm sorry. I did have a girlfriend. And the second you left the coffee shop the other day, I went to break up with her. Because I met this cute, charming blonde that loves children, has a passion for life that I've never seen before and has this amazing giggle that I can't get out of my head."

"Oh," Lexie breathed, turning to Meredith. "Mer, you should listen to him. He's… wow."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she stood. "Come on," she said, grabbing Derek's arm as she pulled him towards the door, stepping onto the front porch as she tried to ignore the chilly night air. She moved to sit on the porch swing and looked at him as he stood in front of her. "Sit," she commanded.

Derek smiled softly as he sat down beside her. "You're bossy," he commented.

"I'm a teacher," she replied. "Bossy comes with the job."

"I guess," Derek smiled, turning to face her. "I'm really sorry if I led you on, Meredith. I was with Rose, but I wasn't happy. If you hadn't come along, I would have broken up with her very soon anyways."

"Well, you could have said something," Meredith said. "I had to find out from your niece, Derek. Your niece who told me she didn't like roses anymore because her uncle's crazy girlfriend is named Rose."

Derek sighed. "I'm sorry," he said again. "I really am, Meredith. And I honestly didn't even mean to ask you out to coffee last week. You were just there and I wanted to know you, and I asked you out. And when I realized how badly I wanted to be with you, to date you, I went right to break up with her. Because I knew that I was falling for you."

Meredith looked at him for a moment, trying to determine how serious he was. "You're falling for me?" she asked. "You barely know me."

"I know enough," Derek smiled. "I know that I can't wait to find out every little detail about you."

"Every detail?" she asked, a smile playing over her lips.

"Little things," Derek said. "Like…your favorite desert. And which side of the bed you like to sleep on. Your favorite movie. How you like your coffee. Little things that only the people who are closest to you know."

Meredith smiled softly as she leaned towards him. "I want to know those things about you too," she said.

Derek smiled as he hesitantly reached out to take her hand. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I…I think so," she said. "I'm still mad though."

"I shouldn't have asked you out before I broke up with her," Derek sighed. "But I do want to date you, Mer. Only you."

Meredith sighed as she nodded. "Fine," she said.

"So romantic," Derek laughed.

"Sorry," she giggled. "I wasn't exactly expecting this."

Derek smiled as he looked down at her. "Are you cold?" he frowned, taking in her bare feet and tank top. "We should go inside."

"No," Meredith shook her head, looking at him for a long moment before she hesitantly moved to rest her head on his shoulder. "Lexie and Izzie…they'll drill me for information."

Derek laughed as he shrugged out of his coat and draped it around her shoulders before wrapping an arm around her to bring her head back to his shoulder. "And they are?" he asked, wanting to get to know everything about the girl in his arms.

"Izzie was my roommate in college," Meredith said. "And when I decided to come out to Seattle after we graduated, she wanted to come too. She owns her own preschool."

"Nice," Derek said, smiling slightly. "And Lexie?"

"She's…my sister," Meredith sighed. "I guess."

"You guess?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow.

"She's my father's daughter," Meredith said. "But I didn't know about her until a couple years ago."

"Oh," Derek said, nodding slowly.

"It's a long story," Meredith shook her head. "I don't want to think about that now."

"That's fine," Derek nodded. "You know, it's not too late to go on that date."

Meredith sighed as she shook her head. "It's eight o clock," she said. "And I'm in pajamas. There's no way we can get to a decent restaurant tonight."

Derek laughed as he stood, offering his hand to her. "We don't need a restaurant," he said. "I've got it under control."

"Okay," Meredith said softly, looking at him with a frown. "What do you mean?"

"Growing up with four sisters led me to take part in lots of cooking lessons from my mother," Derek said as he led her back into the house. "I would be honored to make you dinner."

"Oh," Meredith breathed. "Um…okay."

Derek laughed as he opened the door and led her inside. "Now tell me…what's your favorite?"

"Hmmm…lasagna," Meredith said. "And pizza. And spaghetti. And…well, anything besides Chinese food."

Derek laughed. "Alright," he said. "We'll keep it simple tonight. In the mood for spaghetti?"

"Always," Meredith giggled.

Derek smiled as they stepped into the kitchen. "Prepare to be amazed," he laughed as he moved towards the stove.

"I'm not going to hold my breath," she giggled as she hopped onto the counter beside him.

"I think I'm insulted," Derek frowned.

Meredith giggled. "So you have four sisters?" she asked.

"I do," Derek nodded.

"Are you the youngest?"

"Smack dab in the middle," Derek sighed. "And as much as I hated it growing up, I believe that growing up surrounded by annoying girls has given me a better understanding of how the female mind works."

"Oh really?" Meredith asked. "If that's true…what am I thinking right now?"

"You're thinking how lucky you are to have me making dinner for you," Derek nodded. "And you're wishing that you could go on a date with me."

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded. "Not exactly."

"Enlighten me, then," Derek said.

"I'm thinking…that you're the lucky one," Meredith said. "Because I'm letting you cook me dinner even though you lied."

Derek nodded as he leaned against the counter, looking closely at her. "I think you're right."

Meredith smiled as she looked at him, knowing that in reality, they were both completely lucky.

XXXXX

"Dinner was…amazing," Meredith breathed as she stood in front of the door with Derek a couple hours later. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," Derek smiled. "And Meredith…I really am sorry about everything. The whole chasing and coffee thing…"

"It's…well, it's not okay," Meredith said. "But…I get it."

"Good," Derek nodded, looking down at her with heavy eyes. "So…"

"So…" Meredith repeated, suddenly feeling like a teenager on her first date.

"Look, if you're not busy tomorrow, I'd really like to take you out," Derek said.

"That would be nice," Meredith nodded.

"Good," Derek nodded. "Is afternoon okay?"

"Afternoon?" Meredith repeated.

"I want to show you something," Derek replied. "I'll come by around one?"

"One's perfect," she nodded.

"Good," Derek said. "And…don't eat lunch."

Meredith giggled. "Well, I'm not going to say no to you feeding me again," she giggled.

Derek smiled down at her, his eyes glazing over before he gently reached up to cup her face in his hand. She stared up at him, her heart beating firmly in her chest as he leaned his face down to hers. When their lips met, Meredith felt a sharp spark of electricity run through her entire body. This man really was perfect.

He pulled back too soon and smiled down at her. "I'll see you tomorrow," he said softly, squeezing her hand tightly as he opened the door and stepped outside, smiling at her over his shoulder as he did so.

Meredith sighed as she leaned against the door, not trusting her shaky legs to support her weight. "Wow," she whispered, her fingers pressing against her lips and thinking about how amazing that kiss had been.

She smiled softly as she turned to look into the living room, rolling her eyes when she saw Izzie and Lexie staring at her in fascination. "You two really need to get your own lives," she said as she walked into the living room and collapsed onto the couch.

"Meredith…he just came over and made you dinner," Izzie stated. "Because you wouldn't go out with him."

"I know," Meredith nodded.

"He kissed you," Lexie said excitedly. "Was it a good kiss?"

"Yes," Meredith said, unable to stop the smile from spreading across her lips. "And that's all you're getting from me."

Izzie frowned. "But you're supposed to tell us everything," she said.

"There's really nothing to tell," Meredith shrugged. "We're going out again tomorrow. But…we just talked and got to know each other more."

"You're so lucky," Lexie breathed.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Okay, we can stop talking about me now," she said. "What are we watching?"

"The Notebook," Izzie replied, tears in her eyes. "It's just so…perfect."

Meredith smiled as she reached for the bowl of popcorn sitting on the table. Suddenly, cheesy romantic movies didn't sound as stupid as they had earlier that evening.

XXXXX

"Dude, where have you been?" Mark asked as Derek entered their apartment later that night. "You've been sitting around all week wallowing in the fact that the teacher chick wouldn't answer your phone calls, and I come home and you're not here. You better not have finally taken my advice about the strippers without me."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Of course not," he said. "I went to see her."

"You went to see her?" Mark raised his eyebrows. "The girl who's been hanging up on you for a week for no apparent reason."

"Well, there was a reason," Derek sighed as he collapsed onto the couch. "A very good reason."

"And that would be…"

"Meg said something to her about Rose," Derek sighed.

"Ouch," Mark winced. "Man, you've got to get better at this dating thing. Like…when you want to go out with a girl, make sure you aren't committed to anyone else first."

"Thank you, idiot," Derek rolled her eyes. "Anyways, I explained it to her and it's all okay now."

"And?" Mark prompted.

"And…I'm taking her out again tomorrow," Derek nodded. "I think this could really be something."

"Does Kathleen know that you're going out with her daughter's teacher?" Mark asked.

"No," Derek shook his head. "But…it's not like Mer's going to treat Meg any differently because of me."

Mark shrugged. "It's not like I know anything about teaching rugrats how to read and write," he said. "I just figured it might be weird for Meg if her teacher suddenly becomes her aunt."

"I'm not going to marry her," Derek rolled his eyes. "At least not in the next year."

"Okay," Mark shrugged, yawning as he stood from his chair. "I'm going to crash early. I've got to finish that project for that damn physiology class tomorrow. I'll see you later."

"Night Mark," Derek sighed as he walked into his own bedroom, stripping down to his boxers and settling under the covers. He closed his eyes and felt a wide smile spread over his face as the image of Meredith's face flashed through his mind. The evening had been completely perfect, and he couldn't wait until tomorrow. He couldn't wait for her to see what he wanted to show her, and he couldn't stop thinking of the feeling of her lips against his.

She was perfect.


	6. Chapter 6

"Mer, I'm making some sandwiches, you want some?" Lexie yelled up the stairs the next afternoon.

"No, I'm going out with Derek," Meredith yelled back. "He'll be here soon."

She turned back to the mirror, wondering if she was dressed okay. It was a rare sunny day in Seattle, and she'd dressed in jeans and a lavender sweater that dipped low enough to reveal just enough cleavage. Derek hadn't told her where he was taking her, but she figured this was appropriate enough for most all afternoon dates.

The doorbell pierced into her thoughts, and she ran a brush through her hand one last time before she grabbed her bag and headed down the stairs.

"Hi," she said as she opened the door and let Derek inside. "Come on in."

"Thanks," Derek said, flashing her a smile. "You look…amazing."

"Thanks," Meredith blushed slightly, taking in his jeans and sweater, the bottom of his white button down hanging from the end of his sweater. "You do too. Look good."

Derek smiled as he reached out to grab her hand. "Are you ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah, I just have to grab my coat," Meredith said, reaching for the coat that had been thrown over the banister when she'd come home the day before. "Where are we going?"

"You'll see," Derek laughed, reaching out to help her adjust her collar. "Ready?"

"Yeah," she nodded, following him out the door. "Do I even get a hint?"

"There's food," Derek offered as they settled into his car.

"That's not a hint," she argued. "I knew there would be food yesterday when you told me not to eat lunch."

"Well, that's all you're getting from me," Derek nodded.

Meredith sighed as she turned to look out the window. "Seriously, Derek, I've never even seen this part of Seattle before," she said.

"It's nothing bad," he laughed.

"You're not like…an ax murderer or something, right?" Meredith asked. "Not that you'd tell me if you were, but…you're not just taking me into the woods or something where no one can hear me scream?"

"Well, I'm not an ax murderer," Derek laughed, reaching over the gear shift to lace their fingers together. "But…I can't promise not to make you scream."

Meredith swallowed hard as she felt a rush of heat wash over her body. She had a sudden flash of Derek lying on top of her, his dark curls falling over his forehead as he moved into her and felt a shock of heat spread through her entire body. She closed her eyes tightly as she tried to calm down, turning to Derek with a smirk.

"You're presuming a lot, Derek," she laughed. "What makes you think I'm going to sleep with you?"

"Hmmm," Derek breathed, glancing at her quickly and offering her a wink. "I think you'll break eventually."

Meredith shrugged, smiling coyly at him. "Think what you want," she said softly.

Derek took a deep breath as he slowed the car down and parked it in the middle of an open area of grass. "This is it," he said. "Come on."

"Where are we?" Meredith frowned.

"This land has the best view of Seattle," Derek smiled, getting out of the car and reaching for a cooler in the backseat. "My dad and I go fishing here."

"It's…amazing," Meredith breathed, looking at the open grass area, surrounded by trees.

"Are you okay with walking a little?" he asked. "Because I want to show you something incredible."

"Let's walk," Meredith smiled, moving closer to him as they fell into step together. They walked in silence for a few moments before Meredith hesitantly reached out to take his free hand in hers, lacing their fingers together.

Derek glanced at her as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, glad that she seemed to be accepting him with everything she had in her. He stopped as they reached the edge of the cliff, looking out over the lake and the view of the city before them.

"Wow," Meredith breathed, squeezing his hand tightly. "It's amazing, Der."

He smiled as he squeezed her hand back. Somehow, in all of his twenty five years of life, no one had ever shortened his name to just one syllable, but he liked the way she said it in one breath. "I know," he nodded.

"So not to bring down the mood or anything," Meredith giggled. "But I was promised food.

"And your date will deliver," Derek nodded, setting the cooler on the ground, reaching into the top half to pull a blanket out. Meredith watched as he spread the blanket on the ground and sat down, reaching for the cooler and unzipping it. "Come on down here," he laughed as she stared down at him.

"You…a picnic?" Meredith asked as she sat down beside him.

"What's wrong with a picnic?" Derek frowned as he popped a bottle of wine open.

"Nothing," Meredith shrugged as she took the offered glass. "If you're completely corny."

"Did you just call me corny?" Derek frowned.

"Maybe," she giggled, holding her glass up. "Cheers."

Derek rolled his eyes. "I am not drinking to that," he said. "And if you don't want to eat a corny picnic, then I'll just enjoy it myself."

"Well….I didn't say corny was a bad thing," Meredith said as she reached for a sandwich. She took a large bite as she looked at him carefully for a moment. When she swallowed, she took a deep breath and whispered, "Derek?"

"Hmmm?" he replied.

"I'm not….I don't really date," she said. "Which might sound totally and completely lame because I'm twenty five, but I've only dated one guy and that was more like a natural disaster than a relationship. I just thought you should know that because we're starting something or whatever, so if this freaks you out…It's okay. I'm giving you an out."

"An out?" Derek frowned.

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "Because I've really done this before, and I have no idea what I'm doing here. So if you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who's completely dark and twisty…it's okay. I won't hold it against you."

Derek shook his head as he reached out to take her hand. "Meredith," he sighed. "It's okay if you've never done this before. I want to teach you. I just want you, Mer, even if you do call yourself all dark and twisty. I don't need an out."

"Really?" Meredith whispered.

Derek laughed as he tugged on her hand to pull her into his arms. "Really," he said. "I want you to be my girlfriend, Meredith Grey."

"Girlfriend," Meredith nodded. "Okay."

"Okay," Derek smiled, leaning down to kiss her gently.

"So it's okay if I don't know what I'm doing?" Meredith whispered.

"It's more than okay," Derek said softly. "And you know what else…if you ask me what to do, I'll help you."

Meredith giggled as she rested her head on his shoulder. "Are you going to mold me into some perfect girlfriend?" she asked.

"I think I've already got the perfect girlfriend," he smiled. "I just need to get a little confidence into her."

Meredith was silent for a moment as she looked down at their hands as they linked their fingers together. "They fit," she whispered.

"Hmm?" Derek asked.

"Our hands," Meredith said. "They fit well together."

"They do," Derek smiled, squeezing her tightly.

"So since we're like…dating or whatever now," Meredith began. "It's okay if I kiss you?"

"It's more than okay if you kiss me," Derek smiled, bringing his lips closer to hers. "More kissing, I say."

Meredith smiled as she tilted her face up, their lips meeting in a gentle kiss. She turned in his arms to run a hand through his hair, pushing him onto his back as she laid her body on top of his, kissing him passionately.

Derek ran his hands up and down her back, eagerly accepting her kisses as she moved her hips gently over his. He could feel his pants start to tighten against her, and she suddenly tensed over him, freezing for a moment before she pulled back and slid off of him.

"Derek," she said softly. "I'm sorry if I just led you on or went too far or whatever, but can we…wait? For sex? I just can't do it yet."

Derek sighed as he sat up as well, reaching out to take her into his arms again. "Of course we can wait," he said softly. "I'm not pressuring you into anything. Whenever you're ready, but until then…dates. Dates and whatever you're comfortable with."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"No problem," Derek sighed. "So now that we've got this whole thing understood…tell me about you."

"Oh," Meredith sighed as she pulled away as she reached for her wine. "What do you want to know?"

"Well…I want to know everything," Derek laughed. "But you're obviously not comfortable telling me everything yet. So just tell me whatever you're comfortable with. The rest will come."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Well, um…I lived here til I was five, then moved to Boston. My mom still lives there. I know you probably hate Boston because of the whole New York Boston hatred thing, but…it's a really great city. And I moved back here because I just…needed a change. My mom's a little overbearing sometimes and so I decided to come out here."

"Hmmm," Derek nodded. "And when you came out here…you met Lexie?"

"Yeah," Meredith sighed. "My dad walked out when I was five and I never talked to him again. But then when I moved back out here, I went to see him one night, just to find out why he abandoned me, and she answered the door. I didn't even know she existed, and she didn't know about me. I pretty much avoided her for months, but then I ran into her at the grocery store after a really bad day, and we just…clicked. She moved in with me when she decided she didn't want to live at home anymore but didn't want to go near those sketchy dorms at University of Washington."

Derek laughed. "I'm glad you got to know her," he said. "She seems really nice."

"She is," Meredith nodded. "She has a sister too. Molly, but she's still in high school."

"Hmmm," Derek nodded. "What else?"

Meredith shrugged. "I don't know," she said. "I'm not really the most interesting person."

"Well, there I beg to differ," he said, squeezing her hand. "You can tell me things, Mer. Whatever you want me to know, you can tell me. I'll still want to be with you, that won't change."

"Thanks," Meredith whispered, settling against his chest again as she looked out over Seattle. This was perfection.

XXXXXX

"So thanks for lunch," Meredith said as Derek walked her to her door later that night. "And dinner."

"It was my pleasure," Derek said with a smile as he squeezed her hand. "You, Meredith Grey, are an excellent date."

"Oh, well, I try," Meredith giggled. "And you're not so bad yourself."

"That's good to know," Derek nodded.

Meredith looked up at him for a moment before she asked, "Do you want to come in for coffee?"

"I'd love that," Derek smiled, following her inside.

"Good," Meredith smiled, turning towards the door and rolling her eyes when she saw Izzie and Lexie run towards the living room. "Excuse my roommates," she said. "They seem to think it's okay to live vicariously through my life."

Derek laughed as he pressed a kiss to the back of her head. "I think it's cute," he said.

They stepped into the house and stopped in the door to the living room where her sister and friend were concentrating on the muted TV. "Hi," she said.

"Oh, Mer," Izzie exclaimed, turning to look at her. "We didn't hear you come in."

Derek bit back a laugh and Meredith rolled her eyes. "Right, you can't hear anything over the muted TV," she said. "We're going to make some coffee."

"We'll stay clear of the kitchen," Lexie nodded.

"Thank you," Meredith said as she grabbed Derek's hand and dragged him towards the kitchen.

"So coffee?" Derek asked.

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded, looking up at him for a moment. Derek stared down at her with questions in his eyes, and before he knew what was happening, she had her arms wrapped tightly around his neck and was kissing him passionately.

"Mer," he groaned, his hands instinctively moving to her hips and clutching them tightly. "Oh…."

Meredith giggled slightly as she pulled back. "I like that I can kiss you," she said, running her hands over his hair.

"I like that too," he whispered, pressing his forehead against hers.

"So what happens next?" Meredith asked softly as she moved towards the coffee maker. "With us, I mean."

"Well, tomorrow I have to spend the entire day in the library," Derek sighed. "Because unlike some of us, I'm still in school."

Meredith giggled. "At least I'm earning my own living," she said. "You're still living off of your parents."

"I am not," Derek frowned. "I put myself through college. And med school."

"Oh," Meredith said with a nod. "Right, sorry."

"It's okay, Mer," Derek said, reaching out to rub her shoulder. "We'll find these things out about each other."

"Right," Meredith smiled, leaning up against the counter and smiling up at him. "So… you need to study and I work on Monday, so what next?"

"We'll figure something out," Derek shrugged. "And in the meantime, we'll talk on the phone. Every night."

"Every night?" Meredith raised her eyebrows.

"Yes," Derek nodded. "I need to know that my niece is behaving in school. That's very important to me."

"Oh," Meredith nodded, moving forward and wrapping her arms around his neck. "You know, I'm not supposed to talk about my students to people other than parents," she whispered.

"Oh, well, we'll have to find something else to talk about then," Derek murmured.

"Like all your classes?" Meredith giggled.

"I have a feeling," Derek whispered, pressing his lips against hers. "That I'll be a little distracted in class this week."

"Well," Meredith whispered against his lips. "You know, I am a teacher. And my mom's a doctor, I grew up in a hospital. So if you need some help, I could….tutor you. If you want."

"Hmmm," Derek smiled, wrapping his arms around her waist. "I do need a little extra help in….anatomy."

Meredith giggled as she pulled away from him, turning back to the coffee machine. "Patience, Mr. Shepherd," she laughed. "First lesson….patience."

"Mean," Derek frowned as he took the offered coffee, unable to stop the smile that had spread across his face. Today had been the perfect day, and he couldn't wait to have more perfect days with her.


	7. Chapter 7

"So where's Derek tonight?" Lexie asked as Meredith hung up the phone and set it on the kitchen counter.

"He's studying," Meredith sighed, moving towards the fridge. "But we're going out tomorrow night. Like out out."

"Out out?" Lexie asked.

"To dinner," Meredith replied. "Like dressing up and drinking fancy wine."

"That's great," Lexie said, dropping into a chair and placing her pile of textbooks on the table.

"Yeah," Meredith said distractedly.

"What's wrong?" Lexie asked, sensing Meredith's hesitation. "Last time I checked, you were head over heels. He's all we've been hearing about for the past month."

"I am," Meredith sighed, sitting down across from Lexie. "Or…I will be or something. But I've never really done this before, so…I don't know what to do. And I told Derek that but I don't think he realizes how completely clueless I really am."

Lexie frowned. "Have you told him about Ryan? Or your mom?" she asked softly.

Meredith tensed slightly, then shook her head. "No," she said. "And he doesn't ever need to know about that. No one does."

"Mer," Lexie sighed. "You know, I get it if you don't want to tell him yet. But if you two are as serious as you seem to be, he's going to have to know eventually. And it might be easier for you if he knows. That way he'll understand your hesitation."

Meredith shook her head. "No way," she said. "Derek's already perfectly fine taking this whole thing at my pace. And what Ryan did….when guys find that out, they get scared and they run. They run because they don't want damaged goods, and I can't…I'm really falling for Derek, and I can't stand to lose him because of what Ryan did."

Lexie sighed as she opened her textbook. "Do what you want," she said. "Maybe you should talk to Dr. Wyatt about it."

"I quit the shrink," Meredith said. "I'm fine, Lex."

"I'm not saying go back all the time," Lexie said. "Just tell her about Derek and ask what she thinks you should do."

Meredith sighed as she stood and moved towards the door. "I'll think about it," she said.

Lexie frowned as she looked down at her textbook, wondering what she needed to do to convince her sister that she needed to get some help. As she picked up her highlighter, she jumped as the phone rang loudly at her side. She grabbed it and answered distractedly, running her highlighter over the shiny pages of the book.

"Lexie," Derek's voice said from the other end of the phone. "Is Mer there?"

"Yeah," Lexie frowned as she stood and moved towards the stairs. "Didn't you just hang up with her?"

"I forgot to tell her something," Derek laughed.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you were the perfect man," Lexie giggled before turning towards the stairs. "Mer! Derek's on the phone."

"Thanks," Meredith said as she ran down the stairs. "Der?"

"Hey," Derek said.

"We just hung up less than five minutes ago," Meredith giggled.

"I forgot to tell you something," Derek replied.

"Okay," Meredith replied. "Are you going to tell me or are you going to hang up and call me back in five minutes?"

Derek laughed. "I think you should go outside," he said.

"What?" Meredith frowned.

"Just open the front door," Derek said.

"Derek, you're acting weird," she said as she turned to walk down the stairs. "Are you…" her voice drifted off as she saw him standing on the other side of the front door. She hung up the phone and tossed it on the bench beside the stairs before moving towards the door and letting him in. "Derek, what the hell are you doing?"

"Nice to see you too," Derek laughed as he leaned in to kiss her.

"Okay, I'm really confused," Meredith said. "Seriously, what are you doing here?"

"I realized something when we talked on the phone earlier," Derek said softly, stepping closer to link their fingers together. "And I know it's something that I need to tell you in person. Not over the phone."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Okay, so…what is it?"

"Meredith Grey," Derek whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. "I'm in love with you."

"You…what?" Meredith asked.

"I'm in love with you," Derek whispered. "I love you, Meredith."

"Oh," Meredith said, pulling back from him. "Oh."

"Oh?" Derek asked, suddenly feeling unsure about what he'd just said.

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked moving to pace the foyer. "I mean…I love you too. But we barely know each other. Or we do because I love you. But…we've been dating for less than a month, and we haven't even slept together, but I love you and I just want to make sure that you know what you're getting into, because we're still in that honeymoon phase or whatever which really doesn't make that much sense because we didn't get married, and that's totally beside the point because…I love you too."

"Meredith," Derek said softly, stepping in front of her and taking her into his arms. "You love me?"

"Yes," she whispered, looking up at him hesitantly. "Which I didn't actually realize until now, but I do love you."

"Good," Derek nodded. "I love you too."

Meredith swallowed hard as she looked at him. "Derek…before you do this, there's something you need to know," she said softly.

Derek frowned as he reached out to cup her cheek in his hand. "Mer," he breathed. "There's nothing that can change this for me. What's going on?"

Meredith inhaled deeply as she looked at the stairs. "Let's um…my room," she said softly. "We should go to my room because we have to talk and that's really the only place in this house that has any privacy because there's a lock to keep my crazy roommates away."

"Okay," Derek frowned as he followed her towards the stairs. There was obviously something bothering her, and he couldn't imagine what was so horrible that she thought it would make him stop loving her.

"So this is my room," Meredith mumbled as she led him into the room at the end of the hall on the left.

Derek smiled as he stepped into the room. He took in the unmade bed and the clothes piled on the floor, lesson plans strewn over the chair beside the window. "It looks like you," he said softly.

"Yeah," Meredith sighed as she closed the door behind her. "Look, Derek, I know that you said that you didn't need an out when we started this, but you just said something big, and you deserve to know this before you decide for sure. So if you decide to leave after I tell you this…it's okay."

"Mer," Derek breathed. "I promise that I'm not leaving this. I'm not leaving you. Just tell me what's going on."

Meredith sighed as she moved to sit on the bed. "In college," she said softly. "This guy and I…well we didn't really date. It was more like friends with benefits or whatever. But we had fun together, and I trusted him. He asked me not to see other people, and I agreed, because I thought that maybe it would be okay to do things in steps, you know? But then I woke up one morning and he was gone. There was a note saying that he was leaving. He'd gotten my best friend pregnant."

"Oh, Mer," Derek sighed, reaching out to pull her into his arms. "That's…horrible."

"That's not the worst of it," Meredith sighed. "It turns out that after my mom accidentally met him, she paid him off to leave me because I was apparently distracting him to becoming a focused doctor. She offered to pay for his transfer to another school so that I would stop distracting him."

Derek frowned as he looked at her. "I can't believe that your mother did that," he breathed. "You're…completely amazing and she should be completely and totally proud of you."

"Yeah, well, she's not," Meredith said. "I know this probably doesn't sound that bad, but it's been really hard to trust that anyone without being afraid that they would leave. So this is a big deal for me, and…people always leave. Because I'm poison."

"You are not poison," Derek said firmly, pulling back to look into her eyes. "Meredith, you're incredible. And I hate that you had to go through that. But I love you. That's not going to change because your mother is horrible person and you dated an asshole."

"You don't get it," Meredith whispered. "Everyone always leaves. My dad, my mom was never home, and Ryan…so it's hard for me. To trust people. And now that you know that I'm all dark and twisty, you can take it back. Everything, if you want to."

"I don't want to," Derek shook his head. "Meredith, this doesn't change anything I've said. At all."

"Really?" Meredith asked. "I know I've been making you wait a long time for sex, but now you get that it's hard for me to trust people. And last time I thought that I could have more than sex…my mother paid the guy to leave me because I wasn't good enough for him."

"No amount of money is worth leaving you," Derek shook his head. "And Meredith, I'm not in this for sex. I'm with you because of your giggle. And your passion for life. And the way that you can continue to smile even though you've lived through hell."

Meredith smiled softly. "Okay," she said softly. She rested her head against his shoulder and sighed. "We're moving fast."

"We are," Derek nodded, looking down at her. "Are you okay with that? We can slow this down."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "I'm glad I'm dating you, Derek. Really glad. I just want you to understand why it's hard for me to do this."

"I'm happy with dating," Derek nodded. "And when you're ready…we can take it to the next level."

"I'll be ready soon," Meredith whispered. "I promise."

"No pressure," Derek said, pressing his lips to hers.

"Derek?"

"Hmmm?"

"It's almost Halloween."

Derek laughed slightly. "I know," he said. "Is there a reason you're informing me that it's late October?"

"Well…I have to have a Halloween party in my class," Meredith said. "It's kind of ridiculously corny, but we need parents' help to keep all the kids on sugar highs under control, and I know you're not a parent and your sister probably wants to come help, but…you could too. If you want."

Derek laughed slightly. "Are you asking me to your Halloween party?" he asked.

"It's stupid, I know it's stupid, but all the kids loved you, but you're busy with school and everything, so it's okay if you don't want to," Meredith bit her lower lip.

"I want to," Derek nodded, leaning down to kiss him. "Do I get to dress up?"

Meredith rolled her eyes. "If you want to," she said. "But nothing stupid."

Derek laughed. "I'll make sure it's nothing stupid," he said.

Meredith sighed as she cuddled into his side. "Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?" Derek asked.

"For understanding all of this," Meredith whispered. "For being so amazing."

"I'm just being me," Derek shrugged. "And I already know that I'm amazing."

She rolled her eyes and pulled away from him. "I need to learn not to feed your ego," she said.

"And I need to work on building yours," Derek replied, leaning down to kiss her gently.

Meredith smiled against his lips as she threaded her fingers through his hair, suddenly feeling much better about this whole relationship.

XXXXX

Derek sighed as he walked out of class the next week, relieved that the test he'd just taken was finally over. It had gone pretty well, and now he was ready to take a break from studying.

He hadn't seen Meredith since he'd told her he loved her and she'd told him more about her past, and as stupid as it sounded, he missed her. She'd been so scared, so terrified that he was going to leave her, and he'd hated her mother for making Meredith so vulnerable and fragile.

He glanced down at his watch and smiled slightly. He'd finished the test early, and the timing couldn't have been more perfect. With a smile, he moved towards his car, quickly maneuvering through the streets to his niece's school. He pulled into a parking spot just as the buses were pulling up and he joined the stream of parents and baby sitters who were walking into the school to collect their children after school. He needed to see Meredith, and it was completely perfect that Meg was in her class.

He stopped outside her open door, smiling as he leaned against the frame and watched her giggle as she crouched down to be eye level with one of her students who was explaining a colorful drawing to her. She was beautiful, and he couldn't believe that he was lucky enough to be the first one that she trusted after a horrible life. He had to make sure he didn't mess this up.

"Uncle Derek!"

Derek tore his eyes away from Meredith to see his niece running towards him.

"Well hello Meg," Derek laughed, pulling her into his arms. "Is this a nice surprise?"

"The bestest surprise ever!" Meg cried. "Can we go out for ice cream Uncle Derek? Can we?"

Derek laughed. "Well, I think I'll need a little bit of convincing," Derek sighed. "How about a kiss for your favorite uncle?"

Meg giggled as she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her cheek. "Now can we go?"

"In a few minutes," Derek said, setting her back down on the ground. "Go get your backpack and put your coat on."

"Okay!" Meg cried, racing towards the coat closet and slowing down considerably as she caught Meredith's warning eye.

"Hey," she said, standing to meet his eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Hmmm," Derek sighed. "I just thought I'd surprise my niece with some ice cream with her favorite uncle."

"Uh-huh," Meredith smiled. "And there was nothing else that possessed you to come out here?"

Derek shrugged. "There may have been another pretty girl involved," he said.

Meredith giggled as she watched the remaining kids in her class trot out the door as the buses were called to the front of the school. "How was your test?" she asked as she moved to the other side of the desk.

"It was fine," Derek shrugged. "It wasn't hard, and now I don't have to study for the rest of the week, which means I have more time for my girlfriend."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded. "I'm sure she'll enjoy that."

"I thought she might like a nice romantic dinner," Derek said, leaning across the desk to meet her eyes. "Candlelight…empty apartment…some of my famous pasta and garlic bread combination."

"You should think about asking her," Meredith breathed in his ear.

"Miss Grey!" Meg cried as she ran up to the desk, giggling as Derek pulled her into his arms. "You should come to ice cream with me and Uncle Derek!"

"What do you think, Miss Grey?" Derek smirked. "In the mood for strawberry ice cream?"

Meredith smiled, unable to resist his piercing blue eyes. She could already feel herself lowering the barricades she'd built around herself when it came to Derek.


	8. Chapter 8

"Miss Grey, Miss Grey!" Meg giggled as she ran towards her teacher. "We're twins!"

Meredith smiled as she reached down to pull Meg's cowboy hat back from her eyes. "That we are," she said, pushing her own hat to rest on her back. "I like your cowgirl hat there, partner."

Meg giggled as she held up a gold plastic star. "My daddy gave me a sheriff's badge," she said proudly.

"Well, then you're a much better cowgirl than I am," Meredith sighed. "Why don't you go and look at everyone else's costume and we'll start the parade soon."

"Okay!" Meg grinned as she turned towards the rest of her members.

Meredith smiled as she turned back to the pumpkin shaped cupcakes as she laid them out on the table in the back of the classroom. All the kids were already pretty excited, and they'd returned from lunch in their costumes and excited to walk through the school to show the rest of the classes their costumes.

She sighed as she turned to the doorway, smiling when she saw Meg's mom walk into the room. "Dr. Scott," she said, briefly wondering whether Derek had told his family about her. "Thanks for coming to help. I know you're really busy."

"Well, I have to put Meg first," Kathleen smiled, holding out a plastic shopping bag. "I didn't have enough time to bake, but I figured you'd need juice."

"Perfect," Meredith smiled, reaching for the offered juice. "The kids are still getting their costumes on, so maybe you could just help make sure all their parts are in the right places? I've got a couple more parents coming in soon, and I think your brother mentioned he might stop by too."

"Derek's coming?" Kathleen frowned.

Meredith smiled slightly, hoping she looked conspicuous enough. "He was here for the picnic last month and the kids really liked him," she said. "He's great with them."

Kathleen nodded, but before she could say anything else, Meg ran up to her. "Mommy, Mommy, Miss Grey's a cowgirl just like me!" she cried.

"She is," Kathleen nodded. "Are you ready for your party?"

"Yeah, come see the pumpkin I colored!" Meg cried, pulling her towards her desk.

Meredith sighed as she pulled the juice out of the shopping bag, glad that Kathleen had gotten distracted from the conversation about Derek. She just had to make sure that she didn't say anything else about him until he got there.

She continued to set up the table of sweets as a few more parents came in, deserts in tow. When the food was all set up, she moved quickly towards the bulletin board in the corner, reaching up to staple the Halloween drawings the students had created that morning. As she pressed the stapler into the wall, she heard a deep voice whisper in her ear, "Hello there, little lady."

Meredith raised her eyebrows as she turned to face Derek, finding him uncomfortably close to her in the middle of her classroom. "That was the worst western accent I've ever heard," she giggled as she pushed past him to moved towards her desk.

Derek frowned as he followed her. "I think I'm insulted."

"Okay," Meredith hissed, glancing around the classroom. "You can't flirt with me."

"What?" Derek frowned. "Why not?"

"Because I'm at work," Meredith replied. "And there are a million six year olds running around on sugar highs. And your sister is about twenty feet away."

"Sister?" Derek frowned, looking up with wide eyes when he saw Kathleen on the other side of the room. "Oh."

"I told her you were coming," Meredith sighed, grabbing a box of doughnuts from her desk. "And I don't think she has any idea that you're dating me."

"Mer, I didn't…"

Meredith shook her head. "It's fine," she said. "But we can't talk about it now anyways."

"Okay," Derek said. "What do you need me to do?"

"Well, do you have a costume?" she asked.

Derek frowned. "Of course I do," he said. "I'm wearing it."

Meredith stared at him for a moment. "You're wearing scrubs."

"I'm a doctor."

"That's not a costume, that's your job."

"I'm not a doctor yet," Derek argued.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Whatever," she giggled. "I'm going to run across the hall if they have extra paper cups. Make sure no one tries to fly with their Superman cape or pretend one of the other kids is a dragon so they can slay each other?"

"Sure," Derek laughed. He watched as she moved quickly out the door, turning to look at the rest of the class, jumping when he saw his sister standing directly in front of him. "Kath, a little personal space would be nice," he said as he took a step back.

"You're sleeping with her," Kathleen stated.

"Okay, we are not going to have this conversation in the middle of a first grade classroom," Derek replied. "And for the record, I'm not."

"I'm not stupid, Derek," Kathleen snapped. "I saw the way you were flirting with her."

"Kath," Derek sighed. "Look, I don't want to get into this right now, but it's not that. I love her."

Kathleen stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to say. After a long moment, she grabbed his arm and hissed, "She's Meg's teacher."

"I know," Derek sighed. "Look, Kath, let's just talk about this later."

Kathleen stared at him for a moment before she sighed. "Fine," she said. "But I swear to God, Derek, if my daughter gets treated any differently…."

"She's not," Derek shook his head. "I've been seeing her for a month and a half."

Before Kathleen could answer, Meredith hurried back into the room, cups in hand. "Alright everyone," she announced, shoving the cups into Derek's hand without looking at him. "Who's ready to show off our costumes?"

A chorus of cheers rang through the classroom, and her students ran over to the door where she was standing. "Okay, line up and remember not to talk in the hallway," Meredith said. "Our parents are going to stay here and get ready for the apple dunking and games later this afternoon." She opened the door and smiled brightly at Derek before she turned to lead the class into the hall.

"Alright," Kathleen said as soon as the classroom was empty. "Derek, what is going on?"

"It's not a big deal," Derek shrugged. "Or it is, but…we've been seeing each other for about a month and a half, and I love her. It's not sex. We haven't even…it's not sex."

"Is that why you broke up with Rose?" Kathleen asked.

"Yes," Derek sighed.

"Does anyone know about it?" Kathleen asked.

"No," Derek replied. "Well, her roommates do. But Meg doesn't, and Mer doesn't want her to. She won't get it, and Mer's afraid that she'll want special attention."

"Fine," Kathleen sighed. "But Derek, you have to understand that I'm worried about how this will effect Meg. She's my main concern."

"I get it," Derek nodded. "And Mer and I are worried about her too. But has she acted any different in the past month? Mer's not treating her any differently than any of the other students, and it's really none of Meg's business who her uncle dates or who her teacher dates."

"You're right," Kathleen sighed. "Okay."

"And you can't tell Mom," Derek added. "Because she'll want me to bring Mer home and that's…we're just not ready for that."

"Fine," Kathleen sighed. "Let's just…get the games set up."

"Okay," Derek sighed, moving towards Meredith's desk to grab the pumpkin she'd set there earlier that morning and set it in the middle of the room for the raffle later that afternoon. He knew he was going to have to tell Meredith about his talk with Kathleen, and he had to make sure that she wouldn't completely freak out.

XXXXX

"Well, that was a success," Derek laughed as he leaned against Meredith's desk later that afternoon, the students all gone and the mess of the party cleaned up.

"Last year I had two students throw up from all the sugar," Meredith giggled as she pulled her cowgirl hat off her head. "So I'd say this year really was a success."

"So," Derek said. "What are your plans for tonight?"

Meredith shrugged coyly, leaning closer to him. "I heard a rumor," she whispered.

"Rumor?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows in interest.

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded. "That you have a completely empty apartment tonight."

"Oh, that rumor," Derek nodded. "That rumor is completely true."

"And you know…Halloween can be a pretty scary holiday," Meredith sighed, reaching out to run a hand through his hair.

"It can be," Derek whispered, bracing himself on her desk as he looked deeply into her eyes.

"And I really don't want you to be scared," Meredith whispered.

"That's very…nice of you," Derek murmured.

"So if you'd like," Meredith continued. "I could come over and make sure you don't get scared. Or lonely."

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "I like that idea."

"Good," Meredith smiled as she pressed her lips against her. "And you know…I am a cowgirl today."

Derek swallowed hard as his eyes met hers. "I like cowgirls," he breathed.

Meredith smiled as she pressed her lips lightly against his. "I think you'll like them even more after tonight," she purred.

"God, Mer," Derek moaned. "You're killing me here."

Meredith pulled away from him and offered him a seductive smile. "But of course… that's tonight," she said.

Derek took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before he asked, "Well… what are you doing until then?"

Meredith laughed. "I have things to do, Derek," she said. "But I'll be at your place around eight?"

"Fine," he sighed. "But if you feel the need to come over sooner, I'd be more than okay with that."

Meredith pulled her jacket on and pressed her lips against his. "I'll call you when I'm on my way over," she said. "Walk me to my car?"

"Always," Derek nodded, wrapping an arm around her shoulder, willing time to speed up so tonight could come faster.

XXXXX

When the doorbell rang way too long after they'd left school, Derek quickly stumbled across the apartment to let Meredith in. "Hi," he said.

"Hi," she giggled, holding out a pillowcase.

"What the hell are you doing?" he frowned.

"Trick or treat," Meredith giggled.

"Ahh," Derek nodded, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her close to him. "How about both?"

Meredith smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him quickly as he slammed the door closed behind them. "Hi."

"Hi," Derek laughed. "Mer…are you sure you're ready for this?"

Meredith smiled as she rested her forehead against his. "You're presuming a lot, Derek," she giggled. "But yes, I'm sure. I trust you. And I have no plans for you to meet my mother, ever, so she can't convince you that I'm not good enough for you."

"That's impossible," Derek shook his head. "Because it's not true."

Meredith sighed as she let go of him and moved towards the kitchen. "And I'm not just going to jump into bed with you," she called over her shoulder. "I want to be romanced."

Derek laughed as he followed her into the small kitchen. "Well, I've got chicken parmesan for dinner," he said. "And cheesecake for desert. Both of which will be consumed by candlelight and accompanied by wine."

"You're corny," Meredith giggled as she hopped onto the counter and watched him pull the chicken out of the oven.

"You love it," Derek laughed.

"I really don't."

"I think you do."

"Okay, I've had more stimulating conversations with my first graders," Meredith giggled as she reached out to thread her fingers through his hair.

"You're being awfully abusive tonight," Derek observed as he grabbed her hand and pulled her off the counter.

"Sorry," Meredith giggled. "I'll stop."

Derek smiled as they sat down at the table. "So are Lexie and Izzie going to call at six in the morning to demand details?" he asked as they started eating.

"Probably," Meredith giggled. "I'm sorry my friends are insane."

"I like them," Derek laughed.

"You like them because they call you McDreamy," Meredith rolled her eyes as she reached for her wine.

"Well….are you going to argue with them?" Derek asked.

"No," Meredith shrugged. "They're clearly delusional. It's not good to fight with crazy people."

"I'll show you crazy," Derek laughed, pulling her out of her chair and onto his lap. He stared into her eyes as she smiled down at him, brushing her hair away from her eyes before he leaned in and kissed him deeply.

"Derek," she breathed against his lips, moving to straddle him in the small kitchen chair.

"We should," Derek breathed as her lips moved to his neck. "Do you…"

"Full sentences, Der," Meredith giggled as she nibbled on his earlobe.

"Oh God," Derek moaned. "Bed."

"Bed," Meredith repeated, climbing off of his lap and holding out her hand, smiling coyly at him.

Derek swallowed hard as he stood, grabbing her into his arms and carrying her to his room, his heart soaring as she giggled and wrapped her arms around his neck. He laid her gently on the bed and hovered over her, his eyes searching hers for any signs of doubt. "Mer," he whispered, squeezing her hand gently. "If you're not ready…"

"I'm ready," she nodded, her hand going to his neck and bringing his lips down to hers. She played with the curls at the back of his neck for a moment before she pulled back and smiled slightly. "Now shut up and make love to me."

"Oh," Derek breathed, watching as she sat up and pulled her shirt over her head. "Gladly."

Meredith inhaled sharply as he reached out to undo her bra without any hesitation then pulled her in for another searing kiss. This was it. She'd never thought she'd trust anyone else again, but she did. She was going to let Derek Shepherd see every part of who she was, and as much as that scared her, she was ready for him to see her. All of her.


	9. Chapter 9

"Oh my God," Meredith breathed as Derek collapsed on top of her a few hours later. "Derek...oh my God."

"Mer," he whispered, pressing his lips against hers before he leaned down to rest his head between her breasts. "That was..."

"I've never," Meredith shook her head slightly, trying to clear the post orgasmic fog from her mind. "Wow."

"Wow," Derek agreed, finally pushing himself off of her and leaning his head on his elbow to look down at her. "You're beautiful."

Meredith blushed as she ducked her head to rest against his chest. "You already got me into bed," she giggled. "You don't need to sweet talk me."

"It's not sweet talking," Derek laughed, kissing her gently. "It's the truth."

Meredith sighed as she looked up at him. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too."

"You know what would make me love you even more?" Meredith giggled, lacing their fingers together.

"What?" Derek asked, bringing their hands to his lips and pressing a kiss to the back of her hand.

"If you got me cheesecake," Meredith giggled. "Because someone couldn't wait until dinner was over to ravage me."

"Right, because you were completely innocent," Derek sighed as he slipped out of bed and pulled a pair of boxers on. "I'll be right back," he said, leaning down to kiss her forehead before he disappeared out the door.

Meredith sighed happily as she flopped onto her back, staring at the ceiling. That had been completely amazing. Derek Shepherd was amazing in bed, and she was sure that she'd never had sex like that before.

She'd had her fair share of lovers in college, one night stands that she'd kicked out the next morning as she willed herself to never drink tequila again. Until the next weekend, that was. But after Ryan had taken the money from her mother to leave her, she'd never been able to trust anyone enough to let them into her heart, or her bed, again.

Until now.

No one had ever made love to her like that before. Derek had been careful, slow and precise in making sure no inch of her skin had been abandoned by his lips, and he'd been sure to take his time and memorize the way her body moved before he had given her the sheer pleasure of him inside her. She could still feel his hot breath on her face as he moved gently in and out of her, whispering how much he loved her and worshipping her body with his own.

And the man had stamina. She couldn't help the smile that spread across her face as she turned to look at the clock beside his bed. They'd spent the past four hours in bed, and she couldn't even remember how many orgasms she'd had. He managed to make her feel safer and more happy than she could ever remember being, and she knew that this wasn't just any special relationship. This was Derek Shepherd, and she wasn't going to allow herself to let him slip away. She was quickly depending on him to make her life whole, and she didn't want to lose that.

"Here you are," Derek announced as he came back into the room, cheesecake in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other, a bottle of chocolate syrup cradled between his arm and his stomach.

"Hmm, you're the best boyfriend ever," Meredith giggled as she sat up and reached for the cheesecake. "Although...as much as I love chocolate sauce, I'm not sure I want it on my cheesecake."

Derek smirked as he set the wine and the syrup on the bedside table and sat down on the bed beside her. "It's for later," he whispered, opening his mouth for the bite of cheesecake she was offering him.

"Derek," she giggled. "I'd love to do that with you. And we will. But I think you've worn me out."

Derek sighed as he looked at her closely. "It's been awhile for you, hasn't it?" he asked.

Meredith smiled softly as she stabbed the cheesecake with her fork. "Look, I'm really glad we just...did what we did. But if it's too weird for you...it'd suck, and I'm not sure what I'd do, but you shouldn't feel obligated to stay with me because we just slept together."

"Meredith," Derek sighed, pulling the plate from her hands and tilting her face up to look at him. "Stop trying to push me away. I'm not going anywhere. You're amazing, and I love you, and I'm not leaving you. Ever. So stop trying to make me."

"Okay," she whispered, kissing him softly. "Sorry."

"No reason to be sorry," Derek shrugged. "Are you sore?"

"A little," she shrugged. "But it was worth it. Completely and totally worth it."

"It was," Derek nodded, pulling her out of bed. "Come on."

"Derek," she frowned. "What are you doing?"

"We're taking a bath," Derek announced, pulling her into the bathroom and turning on the water. "It'll make you less sore."

"You know how to draw a bath?" Meredith raised an eyebrow. "Should I be worried?"

Derek rolled his eyes. "Consider it part of my mission to be the best boyfriend in the world," he said as he reached for the bubble bath.

"That's unopened," Meredith observed.

"Wow, maybe you should have become a detective instead of a teacher," Derek laughed as he poured it into the water.

"Shut up," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Did you buy that for me?"

Derek sighed as he helped her into the tub, then climbed in behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. "You said you like baths," he murmured. "I want you to feel at home here, Mer."

Meredith giggled. "Does this mean I have to buy muesli?" she asked.

"It would be nice, yes," Derek laughed.

"Thank you, Derek," Meredith sighed, leaning back into his strong chest. "Tonight has been...amazing."

"It really has," he murmured, pressing his lips against her cheek.

"Your sister didn't know about us," Meredith whispered suddenly.

Derek tensed slightly. This wasn't necessarily a conversation he wanted to have right now.

"She does now," he whispered. "Apparently I'm not exactly discreet."

"I could have told her that," Meredith giggled slightly. "Was she mad?"

"I don't think so," Derek shook his head. "She was worried. About Meg."

"Derek, you know I won't treat her any differently," Meredith said. "She's always been one of the best students in the class."

"I know. She has my genes."

"So not what I meant," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"I know," Derek said. "But Kath did make a good point. If Meg finds out about us, she's going to expect you to treat her differently. She's only six, and as smart as she is, I don't think she'll be able to see you as Miss Grey in school and Aunt Meredith the rest of the time."

"Oh," Meredith tensed almost immediately, pulling out of his arms to stare at him wildly. "Derek," she breathed.

"I didn't mean that," Derek shook his head, pulling her back towards him. "Don't freak out, Mer, please don't freak out. We're not getting married anytime soon. But if Meg knows we're dating, she's going to think of you as an aunt. She doesn't get the in between stuff. And she'll expect to be treated like your niece, not your student."

"That makes sense," Meredith sighed. "So we can't tell your family until June."

Derek frowned. "That's a long time," he said.

"I know," Meredith nodded. "But I'm Meg's teacher until then. And Kathleen's right, she has to come first in all of this."

"I know," Derek sighed. "I want my family to meet you. They'll love you."

"No they won't," Meredith shook her head

"What?" Derek asked.

"Mothers like....girls like Izzie and Lexie," Meredith sighed. "They don't like me. Because I drink tequila. And my house is musty and old. And my own mother doesn't like me. And your dad...well, I'm assuming your dad won't try to sleep with me, which is better than dads of other guys I've been with, but...still, he won't like me. Parents don't like me."

"That is the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard," Derek said firmly. "My mother will love you. No matter what your alcoholic beverage of choice is, she'll love you. And my father will love you too, because you keep me in line. And he will most definitely not try to sleep with you."

Meredith sighed. "It doesn't matter anyways," she shrugged. "I'm not going to meet them for like...seven months, so it doesn't matter."

"It does matter," Derek sighed. "Meredith Grey, I'm making it my new life mission to convince you that you should like yourself as much as I do."

Meredith smiled as she turned to kiss him gently. "The water's getting cold," she whispered.

"Time for bed?" Derek asked.

"Definitely," Meredith nodded. She stepped out of the tub and wrapped a towel around herself, frowning when she turned and saw Derek still sitting in the tub. "Are you coming?" she asked.

"Yeah," he sighed. "I just...you're so beautiful."

Meredith smiled as she pulled another towel off the rack and held it open for him. "Thank you," she whispered as he stepped out of the tub and she rubbed the towel over him.

"Did you just accept a compliment?" Derek asked. "Maybe this will be easier than I thought."

"Shut up," Meredith threw the towel at him and moved back towards his bedroom.

"What are you doing?" Derek demanded as he walked into his room a few minutes later and saw her lying on the left side of the bed.

"Going to bed," Meredith replied. "I'm serious, Derek, the sex was amazing, but I can't handle more right now."

"That's not what I meant," Derek rolled his eyes. "You're on my side of the bed."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "This is my side of the bed."

Derek frowned. "How can we both have the same side of the bed?" he asked.

"I don't know, but you're going to have to get used to sleeping on the right side," Meredith said.

"Why can't you get used to sleeping on the right side?"

"Because...if you don't let me sleep on the left side, I'll go home," Meredith nodded. "And sleep on the left side in my own bed."

"That's just mean," Derek frowned. He moved towards the right side of the bed, sliding under the covers and staring up at the ceiling for a moment. "I just gave you the hottest sex of your life, you should let me have my side of the bed."

Meredith laughed as she rolled onto her side to face him. "Just try," she said. "I promise I'll make it worth your while."

"But...I might die if I sleep on this side of the bed."

"Okay, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Good night Derek."

She turned out the light, biting back laughter as she felt him toss and turn a couple times, muttering under his breath as he punched the pillow. After a few moments of grumbling, she felt him slip an arm over her waist and press his chest into her back.

"What are you doing?" she asked, automatically reaching for the hand that rested on his stomach.

"Sharing our side," Derek mumbled into her hair.

"Oh," Meredith smiled, snuggling into him. "Okay."

XXXXX

Meredith stirred early the next morning, smiling as she felt the heavy weight of Derek's arm still draped tightly around her waist, his leg thrown over hers. This whole sleeping together thing was not bad, not at all.

She slowly untangled herself from Derek's embrace, wincing slightly as a delicious ache spread through her body. She hadn't even realized how flexible her own body was until Derek had placed her in positions that she'd always thought were impossible as she'd flipped through Izzie's Cosmo. She replayed the night before in her head as she slid Derek's button down over her shoulders, smiling as she watched him sleep soundly, clutching her pillow tightly. He was adorable. Sexy as hell, but definitely adorable as he slept, his hair a mess and his mouth turned up in a small smirk.

She sighed as she made her way across the hall to the bathroom before moving to the kitchen and looking around for a moment. She couldn't cook, Izzie had forbid her from even boiling water ever since she'd set off the smoke alarm trying to make toast when they were in college. But she was starving and she couldn't wake Derek. And she refused to eat muesli, no matter how hungry she was.

She could make pancakes. They weren't that hard, there was just eggs and flour, maybe some sugar or something, but she could definitely do that. She nodded as she reached for the door to the fridge, pulling out the eggs and the milk. She turned back to the counter, looking around for a bowl.

"Who the hell are you?" a voice that definitely wasn't Derek's demanded from the doorway, causing her to shriek in surprise and drop the eggs she was holding onto the ground.

"Oh," she said, turning to see Mark standing in the doorway. "Mark. You must be Mark."

"That's me," Mark nodded, a smirk coming across his face. "And from what I'm guessing, you're the hot teacher."

Meredith stared at him for a moment. "Meredith," she said.

"Right," Mark nodded. "So where's Shep?"

"Sleeping," Meredith replied. "I'm making him breakfast."

"Right," Mark nodded, stepping into the kitchen. "Here's a hint. You don't need a cup of salt to make pancakes."

"Oh," Meredith said, staring down at the ingredients in front of her.

"And you make them on the stove, not in the oven," Mark laughed. "Man, Shep's going to have a hell of a time teaching you to cook."

"I don't think I like you."

"That's impossible," Mark rolled his eyes. "Everyone likes me."

"That's not true," Derek said from the doorway, laughing as he moved towards Meredith. "You were up early," he said as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I was hungry," she shrugged. "You could have slept longer."

"I was lonely," Derek smiled down at her. "Sleep well?"

"Amazing," Meredith breathed.

"Me too," Derek said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Okay, seriously not what I want to see first thing in the morning," Mark announced as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Feel free to leave," Derek said as he turned to look at the mess on the counter. "What the hell is that?"

"That's....Mark tried to make pancakes," Meredith nodded firmly.

"Hey!" Mark exclaimed. "I just got home. And Shep knows better than that."

"Sadly, that's true," Derek laughed. "Mer...did you want to make pancakes?"

"Well...I'm not exactly allowed to cook," Meredith bit her lower lip.

"You're not allowed to cook?" Derek asked.

"Ever since I caught the kitchen on fire trying to make spaghetti Izzie banned me," Meredith replied.

"How do you set the kitchen on fire while making spaghetti?" Derek asked with amusement in his voice.

"Well....apparently you're not supposed to leave potholders on the stove," Meredith shrugged. "How was I supposed to know that?"

Derek laughed as he leaned forward to press his lips against hers. "Well, it's a good thing that I learned from the best," he said. "I'll keep you fed."

Meredith smiled as she watched him moved towards the counter. "Thank you," she smiled, wrapping her arms around his waist.

"I expect to be paid back for this," Derek said as he poured some milk in with the flour.

"Oh really?" Meredith asked.

"Yes," Derek nodded. "I want my side of the bed back."


	10. Chapter 10

"So when's Derek going to make us dinner?" Lexie asked as she and Meredith walked up and down the aisles of the grocery store.

"How about....never?" Meredith asked as she looked down at the list Derek had given her. The list she had been given very strict instructions not to stray from at all.

"But he's coming over to our house," Lexie insisted. "Shouldn't we be allowed to eat whatever he makes?"

"No," Meredith replied. "Look at this. He wrote 'Lettuce. A full head, not the prepackaged salads you think count as lettuce.' Seriously. Just because I can't cook he thinks I can't grocery shop either. The man's an idiot."

Lexie giggled. "He loves you," she said. "He's just teasing you. It's sweet."

"I know," Meredith sighed as she pulled a head of lettuce off the shelf. "He's pretty amazing."

Lexie smiled. "So I talked to Dad today," she said casually.

"Lexie, he's not my dad and you know it," Meredith sighed as she reached for a bottle of salad dressing.

"I know," Lexie sighed. "But he wanted me to ask you to Thanksgiving."

"Thanksgiving's three weeks away," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"I know," Lexie said. "But it's just that last year you sat at home and ate pizza by yourself. And Mom and Dad weren't exactly happy when they found out about that. Especially since you did the same thing at Christmas."

"It's not a big deal," Meredith shrugged. "I hate holidays anyways."

"You're an elementary school teacher," Lexie pointed out. "How could you possibly hate holidays?"

"I like Halloween," Meredith suggested.

"You like Halloween because you slept with Derek on Halloween," Lexie said.

Meredith paused for a moment, staring at her sister before she pushed the shopping cart forward. "That's not the point."

"Okay, what is the point?" Lexie asked, moving to catch up with her.

"The point is…okay, I don't know what the point is," Meredith sighed. "But I'm not going to your dad's for Thanksgiving."

"Fine," Lexie sighed. "But if you change your mind…"

"I'm not going to change my…Derek?" Meredith frowned as she saw her boyfriend moving towards her.

"Hey," he said, leaning forward to kiss her gently before he took her hand. "Hi Lexie."

"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked.

"I have big news," Derek smiled. "I knew you were here and I didn't want to wait to tell you."

"Okay," she said slowly. "What is it?"

"I was just offered a position as an intern at Seattle Grace," Derek said with a grin. "Which means I won't be leaving after I graduate."

"Oh," Meredith blinked, nodding in surprise. She hadn't even thought of the fact that he might have been leaving Seattle the next year. "That's…great."

"That's really great," Derek nodded.

"Wait a minute," Lexie frowned. "You were _offered _an internship? Seattle Grace is the best hospital on the west coast. Getting an internship there is really competitive, and some of the best doctors in the country weren't accepted there."

"I know," Derek smirked. "But when you don't get a single point taken off on your boards and you perfect your clinicals…hospitals want you."

"You…got perfect scores on your boards?" Lexie asked with wide eyes. "That's… amazing."

"I know," Derek laughed.

"Oh God," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Don't inflate his ego even more."

"But…you're totally going to have to help me when I have to take the boards," Lexie said.

"You don't need his help," Meredith rolled her eyes. "You and your stupid photographic memory."

"Wow," Derek raised his eyebrows. "Someone's in a mood."

"Sorry," Meredith sighed. "I was just…I didn't even realize that you were even thinking about leaving the city. And I'm really glad that you're staying because we can stay together. And Lexie was talking about her dad, and I had a student throw up all over the floor of the classroom today. So it was just a long day."

"Hmmm," Derek nodded. "Well, I do believe that I owe you a dinner. And since you had a bad day, I'll pamper you all night."

Meredith smiled softly as she tilted her head into his. "Thank you," she whispered.

"My pleasure," Derek murmured. He turned to look at the cart and nodded in approval. "Good job, Mer."

"I can grocery shop," Meredith rolled her eyes as she pushed the cart towards the check out.

Derek smiled as he helped her begin to unload the groceries onto the belt. "This wasn't on my list," he said as he held up a can of whipped cream.

"I know," Meredith murmured, sliding closer to him. "I figured we could use it for… desert."

"Oh," Derek breathed as he swallowed hard and nodded. "Okay."

Meredith giggled as Lexie blushed furiously from beside her. "Meredith," she whispered. "We're in public."

"I know but it's fun," Meredith giggled. "Look at how red his face is."

"Okay, that's just…disturbing," Lexie shook her head.

Before any of them could say anything else, a voice from behind them said, "Derek? Is that you?"

All three of them turned, and Derek's eyes widened. "Rose," he said.

"Hi," she smiled awkwardly, her eyes falling to Meredith and Lexie for a moment before she turned back to Derek. "It's good to see you."

"You too," Derek smiled softly. "How's life at the hospital?"

"It's good," she smiled. "I um…I know this is awkward, but I just saw you and wanted to say hi, but…yeah. So hi."

Derek smiled as he nodded to her. "Um…This is Meredith and Lexie," he said, wondering whether it was spiteful to tell Rose that Meredith was his girlfriend. "Mer, Lexie, this is Rose."

"Rose," Meredith nodded, a slight smile spreading across her face. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Rose nodded slightly. "Look, I'm going to go, but…it was good to see you."

"Thanks," Derek smiled. "You too."

Rose smiled as she turned to walk away, and Meredith turned to look at Derek with raised eyebrows. "So that's the ex, huh?" she asked.

"You dated her?" Lexie asked.

Derek laughed as he reached for Meredith's hand. "She's nice," he said. "Not as nice as my amazing new girlfriend, but…she's part of my past." He ducked his head close to Meredith as he asked softly. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she smiled. "I'm fine. Let's just…pay and go home so we can eat. I'm starving."

"I'll drive your car home," Lexie offered, reaching for Meredith's keys. "You ride with Derek."

"Thanks Lexie," Meredith said as she handed her keys over. "We'll see you at home in a few minutes."

Derek looked at Meredith closely as she opened her wallet and slid her credit card machine as the cashier loaded their groceries into paper bags. "Mer," he said. "What's wrong?"

"I'm fine," she said. "Really, just a long day."

"Okay," Derek smiled softly, reaching for her hand. "I owe you a massage tonight."

Meredith smiled as she looked up at him. "Thank you," she whispered, glad that she at least had him after a long day.

XXXXX

"So you mentioned something about your dad?" Derek asked as he watched Meredith devour a piece of chocolate cake.

"I don't have a dad," Meredith shook her head. "Lexie has a dad."

"Okay," Derek nodded, leaning back in his chair and looking at her closely. "What about Lexie's dad?"

"He wants me to come over for Thanksgiving," Meredith sighed.

Derek frowned. He'd never really realized that his girlfriend didn't have anywhere to go on holidays. He hated that. "And you're not going?" he asked.

Meredith sighed as she set her fork down and leaned closer to him, taking his hand in hers. "Derek, look," she said softly. "I know that you have an amazing family. But you don't understand what it's like to have a dad who abandoned you when you were five, only to reach out to you again through your long lost sister you didn't know existed until you were twenty two. And you can't even imagine what it's like to have a mother that's so disappointed with you that she pays off your boyfriends to leave you and writes you out of her life when you decide to be a teacher instead of a doctor. So I know that you love me and you want what's best for me. But this…you'll never understand it."

Derek frowned as he looked at her, hating the fact that she had had so much negativity in her past. "Meredith," he said softly. "I know that I'm not going to understand what it's like to grow up with a shitty past like that. I hate that you had to experience that. And more than that…I hate that you're alone during the holidays."

Meredith shrugged as she moved to take their plates to the sink, leaning against the counter for a moment. "It's fine," she shrugged. "I hate holidays anyway."

"Meredith…." Derek breathed, standing to pull her into his arms. "You can't hate the holidays."

"I can," she nodded. "And it's not like I can go to your house, Derek. What would it be like for Meg to have her teacher at Grandma and Grandpa's house for Christmas?"

"I know," Derek sighed. "But…I don't know how to fix this, Mer. I'm supposed to be helping you to have a better life, and…I can't even help you be happy during the holidays."

Meredith smiled as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him softly. "Thank you, Derek," she whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too," Derek whispered, sensing her desire to change the subject.

"I have to wake up early for school," Meredith whispered as she pressed her forehead against his.

"Is that a hint for me to leave?" Derek asked.

"Well, I was actually going for an invitation to stay," Meredith whispered.

"Oh, well…" Derek smiled. "A man can't turn down an offer like that."

"Good," Meredith smiled, tugging on his hand as her hands played over the hem of her sweater. "There might be a reward in there for you somewhere," she said as she pulled her sweater over her head and dropped it onto the floor.

Derek smiled as he scooped her into her arms and carried her towards the stairs. Meredith giggled loudly as she wrapped her legs around his waist, grinding her hips gently against his. "Don't drop me," she murmured in his ear, nibbling gently on his neck.

"God Mer," Derek breathed, pausing in the hall to press her against the wall, kissing her passionately as her fingers moved to the buttons of his shirt, gently trailing her fingers over the soft hair that was exposed on his chest at each release of the button.

"We need…" Meredith whispered as Derek's lips moved to her neck. "Derek, we need bed…my room…"

"Right," Derek swallowed hard, grabbing her thighs to wrap around his waist again as he stumbled back to her room, slamming the door behind them.

"Derek," Meredith breathed as he threw her onto the bed and climbed on top of her.

"I want you," Derek breathed, reaching around to unclasp her bra and drop it to the floor beside the bed. "God, Mer…you're so amazing."

Meredith sighed as she pushed his button down over his shoulders. "I need you," she whispered. "Derek…I need you inside me."

"Hmmm," Derek sighed, moving his lips down to her breasts. "Patience….Miss Grey."

Meredith arched her back as his lips moved to her stomach, planting gentle kisses around her belly button. "Derek," she whispered. "Please…"

"What do you want?" he murmured as he reached out to unbutton her pants.

"You," she whispered. "I…I want it hard. And fast."

Derek smiled as he pulled her pants down, her underwear quickly following. "I can do that," he nodded as he reached for his own pants. He quickly discarded them and climbed back onto the bed, taking in Meredith's flushed body, her chest rising and falling quickly as her skin took on a pink glow. "God, Mer," he whispered, his hand moving to his own erection. "You're so gorgeous."

"Derek," she panted, pulling him down to her and wrapping her legs around his waist. "Now. Please."

Derek nodded as he thrust into her quickly, causing her to arch her back and moan loudly.

"Derek," she breathed, feeling a warm heat rush through her body as his body moved quickly over her. "Oh my God…."

"Meredith…" Derek moaned as her nails clawed into his back. "Mer…"

Meredith sighed as she leaned her head back into the pillows, allowing Derek to have room to press his lips against her neck as he gripped her hips tightly. This was different from a couple nights. This sex was hot and passionate, and as Derek pounded himself into her, she found herself experiencing a new level of pleasure that she knew she'd never felt before.

"God, Derek," she groaned as she gripped his shoulders tightly, knowing that she was probably going to leave scratches. Her body began to tremble with the anticipation of her orgasm, and she tightened her legs around him. "Der…."

"Meredith," he moaned, bucking his hips as he tried to move again. "I need…I'm so close."

"Come," she demanded, releasing him and rising her hips to meet his. "Come for me, Derek."

Derek moaned loudly as he thrust hard into a couple more times, sighing in relief as he felt her muscles tighten around him. "Meredith," he breathed as he collapsed beside her on the bed.

"Wow," Meredith whispered, a hand reaching out to stroke his hair. "Derek…wow."

"That was…best…ever."

Meredith smiled as she cuddled into him, their sweaty limbs tangling together. "Definitely the best ever."

"I can stay right?" Derek whispered against her hair.

"Never move," Meredith shook her head against his chest. "Never ever moving."

"You have to work," Derek laughed. "And I have class."

"Fine," Meredith sighed. "No moving til morning."

"I can handle that," Derek whispered, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I love you, Meredith Grey."

"And I love you, Derek Shepherd."


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, so this will probably be the last update for a couple weeks. I hope that you guys can be patient until the end of the month and continue to read the story later. I'm going to try and write a little on the train and such, so there may be a significant amount of updates as soon as I get back. Have a great month, and enjoy the next couple episodes of Grey's!**

"Derek Christopher Shepherd, it's about time that you remembered you had a family," Emma exclaimed as Derek walked into his parents' kitchen for dinner. She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly for a moment. "That's because I missed you," she said. "And that," she said, reaching to smack the back of his head. "Is because you've cancelled for the past two weeks."

"Sorry, Mom," Derek laughed as he moved towards his dad. "Hi Dad."

"Don't worry about your mother," Michael said as he pulled Derek into an embrace as well. "It's good to see you."

"So I spoke with Kathleen," Emma said as she pulled Derek away from his father. "She said something about a girlfriend. Are you dating someone? Is it serious? Do we get to meet her soon?"

"Mom," Derek groaned. "Yes, I'm dating someone. Yes, it's serious. And I can't take her home with me, because…she's Meg's teacher."

Emma blinked in surprise. "You're dating your niece's teacher?" she asked.

"Mom, it's not a big deal. Kathleen knows, and she's okay with it. And we agreed to keep this from Meg until she's not her teacher anymore. But Mer and I…she's amazing. And I love her, Mom."

"Oh, Derek," Emma smiled. "That's wonderful."

"Thanks, Mom," Derek laughed as he pulled a beer out of the fridge.

"The girls are in the living room," Emma said. "They're going to want to hear all about her."

"Okay, Mom, please don't make a big deal out of this," Derek sighed. "I'm glad that you're happy for me, but I really don't want to make a big deal out of this. Not until Meg's out of Meredith's class."

Emma sighed as she moved back to the stove. "I suppose that makes sense," she sighed. "I wish it wasn't so far away."

"That makes three of us," Derek laughed.

"Come help me on the grill, Derek," Michael laughed as he pulled a plate of chicken into his hands.

"Grill?" Derek frowned. "It's November."

"And Nancy is pregnant," Emma laughed. "She wants grilled chicken."

"If there's one thing I know, it's never to turn down a pregnant woman's craving," Michael laughed. "Especially a Shepherd woman."

Derek laughed as he moved to open the back door for his dad, following him onto the patio.

"So you're pretty much head over heels," Michael commented as he tossed the chicken onto the grill.

"I am," Derek nodded. "She's amazing, Dad. She's had such a horrible past, and I want nothing more than to just show her how wonderful she is. And to give her a real life, full of anything else she wants."

Michael tilted his head to the side. "What are you not telling me?" he asked.

Derek shook his head as he took another pull of his beer. He'd never cease to be amazed at how well his father could read him. "She doesn't have any family."

Michael frowned. "What do you mean she doesn't have family?" he asked.

"Her mom is back on the east coast," Derek shrugged. "Mer doesn't talk to her. She did horrible things to her, so Mer moved out here and doesn't talk to her. Her dad walked out on her when she was five. She has two sisters, lives with one of them but refuses to go home with her. Says that Lexie has a dad but she doesn't."

Michael shook his head as he moved to flip the chicken. "I never understood why some people have children," he sighed. "I'm glad you're taking care of her. That's the man I raised you to be."

"Yeah," Derek sighed. "And I…the holidays are coming up. And she refuses to go to her father's house and she can't exactly come here, so I was thinking…"

"You want to spend the holidays with her," Michael nodded.

"Yeah," Derek breathed. "I really want to. But Mom…it's not that I don't want to be with the family. You know that I love you guys more than anything, no matter how annoying those stupid girls are."

"They're not stupid," Michael laughed. "Schemers, yes, but not stupid."

"Yeah, well, they're nice to you."

"I'm their father," Michael said. "Look, Derek, I'll try to talk to your mother. We'll miss you, but…you're all growing up now. You've got your own lives now, and I'll try to help her see that."

"Thanks, Dad," Derek said in relief. "It just breaks my heart to think that Mer's going to be alone for the holidays. I would kill to bring her here, but…we can't."

"Hmmm," Michael nodded. "You love her."

"I do," Derek nodded. "And I think Mom will understand that. Especially if you talk to her."

Michael laughed as he moved the chicken back onto the platter. "You're living in a fantasy world if you think I can tell that woman to do anything," he said. "But I'll try. Lord knows she's wanted you to date someone for years."

"I have been dating," Derek frowned.

"Derek, you're my son and I love you," Michael said, clapping him on the back. "But Rose…not one of your best choices."

Derek rolled his eyes. "So I've been told," he said. "Ready to go in?"

"Yes," Michael laughed.

Derek opened the door to the kitchen, smiling as he saw that his sisters had moved into the kitchen, along with Matt, Chris, and Meg.

"Uncle Derek!" Meg cried as she jumped into his arms. "Guess what!"

"What?" Derek asked, his eyes wide.

"I'm going to have a baby boy cousin!"

"You are?" Derek asked, his eyes traveling to Nancy, who was rubbing a hand over her swollen belly. "Well, that's a very good thing. Because you can still be my number one niece."

Meg giggled as she wiggled out of his arms and ran towards the living room. "I gotta go back to finish Dora!" she cried.

"No running!" Kathleen yelled after her. "Hi Derbear."

Derek rolled his eyes. "I see none of you have gotten less annoying in the past couple weeks."

"Oh, no, we've been saving it until you finally came to dinner," Caitlin giggled. "We hear you've got a new girlfriend, Derbear."

"Yes, and please tell me she's not anything like any of your previous girlfriends," Liz rolled her eyes.

"Not that it's any of your business, but…she is," Derek smiled. "She's completely perfect, even if she doesn't think so. She rambles and she's bossy and…completely amazing."

"Awww," Liz smiled, reaching out to ruffle Derek's hair. "Derbear's in love. That's so cute."

"Don't touch my hair," Derek rolled his eyes, struggling to get away from his sister's grasp.

"I've met her," Kathleen announced. "He's like a lost little puppy, follows her around everywhere."

"Okay that…is so not true," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Why does Kath get to meet her?" Caitlin frowned.

"Because she's my daughter's teacher," Kathleen replied, rolling her eyes.

"You're dating Meg's teacher?" Nancy raised her eyebrows. "Is that even allowed? You're family."

"It's not like I'm her dad," Derek shrugged. "And Mer's being sure not to treat her any differently. And Meg won't know until after the years over." He'd lost count of how many times he'd had this conversation over the past month, and he was beginning to get tired of defending his relationship with Meredith.

"Alright, that's enough about Derek," Emma announced as she opened the door to the dining room. "It's time for dinner. And I expect you all to be adults and be nice to your brother."

"Yeah, be nice to your brother," Derek nodded, pressing a kiss to Emma's cheek as he walked into the dining room.

"Nice Shep," Chris laughed as he pulled a chair out for Kathleen.

Derek rolled his eyes. "I don't know why I even bother coming here," he said. "It's probably not healthy to accept this much abuse."

"We're just kidding, Derbear," Liz giggled as she reached across him to grab the mashed potatoes.

"Right," Derek sighed as he looked around the table, honestly happy to be spending time with his family. But he couldn't help imagining how well Meredith would fit in with his sisters, how perfectly she would get along with his parents, and how amazing it would be to sit at dinner in his parents' dining room with the love of his life at his side.

XXXXX

"Thanks for dinner, Mom," Derek smiled as he stood at the front door with Emma a couple hours later, his coat already on and leftovers clutched in his hands. "It was wonderful."

"I'm so glad you were able to come tonight," Emma smiled, reaching out to rest a hand on his arm. "And I'm glad you're happy."

"Thanks, Mom," Derek said. "And thanks for understanding why I can't exactly bring Mer home with me."

"Your father told me about her past," Emma sighed. "And as much as we'll miss you, I think it would be very wonderful if you spent Thanksgiving with her."

"Really?" Derek asked, his heart tightening at the thought of spending Thanksgiving at Meredith's house. "Thanks, Mom. It means a lot to me."

"You've turned into a wonderful man, Derek," Emma said softly. "So much like you're father. And I'm very proud of that."

Derek smiled as he leaned down to press a kiss to her cheek. "You did a good job, Mom," he said. "With me anyways. The girls I'm not so sure about."

"You love your sisters," Emma laughed.

"If you say so," Derek sighed. "I'm going to get going. Thanks again for dinner. I love you."

"I love you too," Emma smiled. "And since you're not coming for Thanksgiving I want you to be here next Sunday for dinner."

"I will be," Derek nodded. "Bye Mom."

He walked out the door, making his way to the car as he looked down at his watch. It wasn't too late, but Meredith had to work early in the morning and he wasn't sure that she would appreciate him stopping by at nine-thirty.

With a sigh, he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and quickly dialed her number as he settled into the driver's side of his car."

"Hello?"

"Hey Mer," he said with a smile. "How was your evening?"

"It was fine," she said. "Just planned some lessons for this week, watched a movie with Lex. How was dinner with your family?"

"It was good," Derek said. "I missed you though."

"Derek, you were over here this afternoon," she giggled. "It's been like…five hours since you saw me."

"Doesn't mean I can't miss you," Derek laughed. "What does your week look like? Do you have time for dinner with your favorite boyfriend?"

"Well, I have time for him," Meredith said. "But I'm not sure if I'll be able to squeeze you in."

"Very funny," Derek said. "Seriously, Mer."

"I don't know," she sighed. "I've got parent teacher conferences on Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday nights, and I'm going to be getting ready for them tomorrow. I don't know if I'll have time until Friday."

"Okay," Derek sighed. "I guess I can understand that."

Meredith giggled. "Just consider it payback for all the times you're on forty eight hour shifts when you're an intern," she said.

Derek smiled into the phone. He loved that she was secure enough with him that she could talk about their future for a year from now. "I guess that's fair," he said. "Even if I don't like it."

"I'm sorry," Meredith offered. "I'll make it up to you."

"You better," Derek laughed as he pulled into the garage below his apartment.

"Hmmm…maybe on my way home on Friday I'll make a little detour to Victoria's Secret," Meredith said, her voice low.

"I like that," Derek said huskily.

"By the way," Meredith giggled. "We've had some complaints."

"Complaints?"

"Apparently we're very loud," Meredith giggled. "Izzie offered to buy me a padded headboard."

Derek laughed, walking into his apartment and collapsing onto the couch. "I can't say that's a bad idea," he said. "And I like the sounds you make."

"I bet you do," Meredith giggled. "You're not exactly quiet either."

"I never said I was," Derek said. "It's not like I can actually help it. You're hot. It makes me lose control."

"So I've heard," Meredith sighed. "Listen, Der, I have a long week coming up, so I think I'm just going to make some tea and go to bed."

"Okay," Derek said. "See you Friday?"

"Definitely," Meredith said. "I'm looking forward to it. Especially since I'll be waiting for you in my bed….completely naked and waiting for you. Or maybe I'll even start without you."

"Oh God," Derek swallowed hard. "I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith sighed. "Good night."

"Night, Mer."

Derek sighed as he snapped his phone shut, leaning back into the cushions. He knew he was pathetic, but he was going to miss seeing her this week. They'd only been together for a couple months, but he'd already realized how completely necessary it was to have her in his life.

"Get a life, Shepherd," he muttered under his breath as he moved towards his bedroom. Mark would call him completely pathetic if he saw him right now, but he was sure he'd never felt this way before.

He loved Meredith. He loved her more than anyone else he'd ever been with, and he was starting to think that this might be the real thing. It was soon, completely too soon to be seriously thinking about marriage, and he knew that Meredith would completely freak out at him if he suggested it. But at some point in the past two months, it had become completely clear to him that his future was unimaginable without Meredith there to experience everything with him.

He collapsed onto his bed, smiling at the faint scent of lavender that washed over him as he buried his face in her pillow. He had to wait, he knew he had to wait a long time before she would be ready to even talk about that, but he felt sure that he was going to spend the rest of his life with Meredith Grey. And that was the best feeling he'd had in a long time.


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, so I lied earlier. This is DEFINITELY the last update, but I made the time to sneak you all an extra treat because you're amazing. Enjoy :)**

Meredith sighed as she opened the bottle of tequila, already needing to feel the need to become numb to this stupid holiday. Maybe she could just move somewhere where there wasn't some stupid day for eating birds and watching football and giving thanks. Lexie and Izzie had both left the night before for their parents' houses, and although Derek had spent the previous night with her, taking advantage of the empty house to have sex on the kitchen table, he'd left early that morning, kissing her goodbye after breakfast and telling her that he'd see her on Friday. He was spending this stupid holiday with his family, and she knocked back her first shot of tequila as she rolled her eyes. Family. She didn't need family. She had her tequila and Izzie's cheesy romance movies, and her pizza was on the way. She could give thanks for alcohol and pizza, she liked them better than her supposed family anyways.

The doorbell rang and Meredith quickly stood, adjusting Derek's Bowdoin sweatshirt as she did so. He'd left it in her room a couple weeks ago, and she'd kidnapped it when she realized how much she loved wearing his clothes, even if they did swim on her.

"How much do I owe you for…Derek?" Meredith frowned as she looked up from her wallet, staring at her boyfriend as he stood in front of her, a pot in his hands.

"Hi Mer," he said with a smile, leaning in to kiss her quickly before moving around her towards the kitchen. "You want to help me bring things in from the car?"

"You…" Meredith frowned as she stared at his retreating back, turning to stare at the still open door before looking back towards the kitchen. "What are you doing here?"

"We're having Thanksgiving," Derek smiled as he came back out from the kitchen, rubbing his hands together. "Come on."

"What…" Meredith frowned as he dragged her out to his car and shoved a warm bowl into her hands. "What is this?"

"Mashed potatoes," Derek smiled as he grabbed a bottle of wine and slammed the door closed behind him. "You can't have Thanksgiving without mashed potatoes."

"But…it's Thanksgiving," Meredith said, feeling like an idiot. She couldn't even put two words together, and her stupid boyfriend wasn't helping her to understand what he was doing.

"I know," Derek laughed as he grabbed a gift bag out of the passenger seat and began walking back towards her house.

"Why aren't you with your family?"

"Because I'm with you."

"But…why?"

Derek smiled as they walked into the kitchen and he took the bowl from her hands, setting it down on the table. "Because," he whispered, pulling her into his arms and pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. "I didn't want you to be alone."

"Derek," Meredith sighed, pulling back to look at him. "This is really sweet, and I appreciate it, I really do. But you can't give up Thanksgiving with your family because of me. I'm fine. I have my tequila and movies, and…I'm fine."

Derek laughed as he moved towards the stove where the big pot he'd placed the big pot he'd carried in when he arrived. "I'm definitely okay with drinking tequila," he said. "According to Izzie, you're quite the wild thing when you drink tequila. And if our sex when your sober is wild enough, I'm pretty sure that you on tequila will go well beyond any fantasy of mine."

Meredith bit her lower lip as she watched him light candles on the table. "Are you sure?" she asked.

"Of course I'm sure," he said as he popped the cork on the wine.

"I should…I'm in pajamas," Meredith stated.

"You are," Derek nodded. "I think it's cute."

"So I should change, right?" Meredith asked, moving towards the door. "You're supposed to like…dress nicely for Thanksgiving, right?"

"Change if you want," Derek shrugged. "But don't plan on staying dressed for too long."

"What?" Meredith frowned.

"As soon as dinner's over, I want you naked," Derek smiled as he held out a gift bag for her. "I got you a present."

Meredith frowned. "Are you supposed to give presents on Thanksgiving?" she asked as she took it hesitantly.

Derek smiled. "It's your first Thanksgiving, Mer," he said. "And honestly…this is just as much for me as it is for you."

"What is it?"

"Open it and see," Derek smirked.

Meredith smiled shyly as she pushed the tissue paper aside, her eyes widening as she pulled the present out of the bag. "Derek…"

Derek watched her carefully as he watched her take in the tiny white dress, the neckline plunging, the bustline covered in sparkling rhinestones. He swallowed hard as he tried to ignore the arousal surging through his body at the thought of Meredith wearing it.

"Are you….lingerie," Meredith stated, a nervous giggle escaping her lips.

"Mer," Derek said softly. "If you're not comfortable with this, it's fine. But I know you're getting more comfortable with me, and with sex, and I just…it's hot Mer, and I know you'll look amazing. But if you're not comfortable, it's okay. I know you've been hurt in the past, and I don't want you to feel pressured."

Meredith sighed as she ran her hands over the silky fabric. "You really are McDreamy," she sighed. "Thank you."

"No need to thank me," Derek laughed, leaning forward to kiss her. "I think I'll enjoy this more than you will."

She giggled as she shoved it back into the bag. "Later," she said. "Dinner first."

Derek sighed as he turned back to the stove. "Fine," he said.

"This looks amazing," she said as she looked at the turkey, mashed potatoes, and stuffing that sat on the table.

"It's not that much," Derek shrugged. "At least according to Shepherd standards. But there's only two of us, so I figured I'd stick with the basics."

"Hmmm," Meredith moaned. "This stuffing is amazing."

"It's my dad's recipe," Derek smiled. "He refuses to tell my mom what's in it. Says its for those who will carry on the Shepherd name only."

"So you'll teach ou….your son?" Meredith giggled.

Derek nodded, trying to ignore the increased rate of his heartbeat at the slip of Meredith's tongue. Our son. She had almost said our son, and the thought of making a baby with Meredith was enough to make him fall to his knees and beg her for a future.

"I still can't believe you did this," Meredith said softly. "No one's ever done something so wonderful for me before."

Derek smiled as he reached out to squeeze her hand. "I'm sorry you had a shitty childhood, Mer," he said softly. "But I love you. And you'll experience everything you should with me. I promise."

Meredith smiled. "So Thanksgiving," she said. "What do normal people do?"

"Well, I'm not sure that Shepherds can be considered normal," Derek laughed. "But… we usually get up early to watch the parade in New York. When we were younger, we went every year, but then we moved out to Seattle, so we obviously couldn't do that anymore. And then we turn on football and just spend a day together, the whole family. My sisters are annoying and tease me all day, and my mom's constantly cooking and yelling at my dad for not telling her what's in the stuffing. And then we have a huge dinner and have desert while we watch It's A Wonderful Life."

"It sounds amazing," Meredith breathed.

"It is," Derek nodded, reaching for her hand. "Mer?"

"Hmmm?"

"You can….next year, when you're not Meg's teacher anymore," Derek said softly. "You can be there."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, her eyes wide before she nodded. "That would be nice."

Derek smiled brightly. "Good," he said, finishing off his food.

"So…" Meredith smiled as she leaned across the table towards him. "You said something about fantasies earlier?"

"Oh," Derek blinked, surprised at the sudden change in conversation. "Um…well, first we have a lot more rooms in your house to christen."

"We do," Meredith nodded.

"And….well, there's a pretty long list of other things."

"Hmmm…" Meredith nodded. "Well, if you're not willing to share, I guess I won't take part in them…"

"I want to tie you up," Derek said.

"Definitely," Meredith nodded. "What else?"

"High heels," Derek choked, trying to concentrate on anything other than his pants that were uncomfortably tight.

"Interesting," Meredith smiled, shoving her last bite of potatoes into her mouth.

"What about….you?"

"Me?" Meredith asked.

"Your…fantasies…" Derek said.

"Well," Meredith started. "First, I want to cover your body in chocolate sauce. Your entire body…" she breathed, staring down at his very obvious erection.

"God," he moaned.

"And when you're an intern," Meredith whispered. "And on call…I'll come to the hospital and lock you in an on call room and screw you so hard that you'll forget your own name."

"Meredith," Derek breathed, unzipping his pants and pulling his erection out, lazily moving his hand up and don his length.

She smiled as she watched him. "And you know…" she whispered breathily. "I owe you for being completely amazing and giving me my first Thanksgiving. So whenever you want wherever you want…I'll give you a blow job."

"Holy…" Derek's eyes closed as he tilted his head back, his hand moving faster over himself. "Meredith."

She smiled as she watched him, suddenly moving her chair closer. "I doubt that's proper behavior for the dinnertable," she murmured in his ear.

"I need you," Derek groaned.

"Let's move this upstairs," she whispered, reaching for the gift bag. "You can…take care of yourself while I get your present ready."

Derek inhaled shakily. "God, Meredith," he whispered.

"Come on," she giggled, grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the stairs, laughing as he stumbled on his shaky legs. She led him up to her bedroom, pushing him onto the bed and kissing him quickly before she whispered. "I'll be right back. And you better be naked when I'm back."

Derek nodded, his head fuzzy as she disappeared into the bathroom. Meredith smiled as she quickly tore her pajamas off, slipping into the lingerie and staring at herself in the mirror, shaking her head slightly. The halter straps pulled tight around her neck, pushing her breasts up and making them look huge. The neckline plunged to give her cleavage that she'd never had before, and the hem barely grazed the tops of her thighs.

She took a deep breath as she reached for her hairbrush, her body already shaking with what was to come. She'd always been pretty adventurous in high school and college, but it was completely different with Derek. She loved him, and she trusted him completely. It wasn't just sex with him, but somehow that made their connection in bed even stronger. Before Derek it had been a few years since she'd slept with anyone but now… now she felt that there wasn't anything she wasn't willing to do that would give Derek the same pleasure she felt every time he was inside her.

She glanced in the mirror, satisfied with her appearance before she opened the door, leaning against the frame as her eyes landed on Derek. "Well…" she purred. "Don't you look ready."

"Oh God," Derek groaned as he drank in the sight of her. "Meredith, you look… amazing."

Meredith smiled slyly as she sauntered over to the bed, stopping to pick up something off the floor. "I was reading Izzie's Cosmo today," she breathed as she climbed onto the bed, swinging her leg over Derek's waist to straddle him, resting the magazine on his chest as she flipped through the pages. "There were some very interesting things in there."

"Oh really?" Derek asked huskily. "Like what?" He pushed the magazine off of his chest and leaned forward to bury his face between her breasts, his tongue lapping gently against her skin.

"Well, I seem to remember that you liked my cowgirl costume on Halloween," Meredith breathed as his hands moved to the hem of her dress, if it could be called that. She allowed him to practically rip it over her head before she pushed him onto his back, settling herself between his legs as she lowered herself onto him. "Oh God…"

"Mer," Derek moaned, relishing the tightness he felt as he slid into her.

"Derek," she cried as his hand wandered to her center, working quickly as she rode him. She could feel herself already starting to lose herself at the combined sensation of her thrusts and Derek's hand against her. She threw her head back in ecstasy, the ends of her hair brushing against Derek's stomach and causing him to moan and increase the speed of his fingers.

"Derek," Meredith screamed as she felt her body tighten. "Oh my god…Derek…"

Derek groaned as he felt her tighten around him and scream his name repeatedly. "Meredith," he breathed as he sat up, shifting her so that she was straddling him as he slipped inside her again. "Oh God."

"Derek," she whimpered as she leaned her body back slightly, her body sliding quickly along his thighs. "That's it…yes!"

Derek could feel himself starting to lose control as Meredith leaned back, her breasts directly in front of his face. He leaned forward to take a nipple into his mouth, sucking eagerly and causing her to scream loudly, words no longer coming from her lips.

"Meredith," he groaned loudly as he spilled into her, her muscles tightening around him. "Oh, Mer…"

"Derek," she panted as her orgasm washed over her, burying her face in his neck as his body trembled.

"Oh my God," Derek breathed as he finally felt the sweet pleasure of release spread through his body.

"Derek," Meredith whispered as he fell onto his back, pulling her to rest on top of him. "That was…"

"Sex with you just keeps getting better," Derek breathed. "You may kill me."

Meredith smiled as she lifted her head, pressing her lips to his gently. "I already have ideas for high heels and handcuffs," she breathed.

"Killing me," Derek moaned, pulling her close.

"I love you," Meredith whispered.

"I love you too," Derek replied.

"Thank you," Meredith whispered. "For giving up Thanksgiving to be with me."

"I didn't give up Thanksgiving," he shook his head. "I'm right where I wanted to be."

"Good," Meredith smiled.

"Believe me, this is a million times better than my sisters teasing me about anything they can think of," Derek laughed.

Meredith smiled as she linked her legs with his. "This was the best Thanksgiving ever," she whispered.

"I agree," Derek nodded. "And after that…I'm definitely getting you a subscription to Cosmo for Christmas."

Meredith giggled as she reached for the abandoned magazine on the floor. "Which should we try next?" she asked. "The Spoon? Or the Joystick Joyride?"

"Hmmm….both," Derek grinned, pulling her closer. "Happy Thanksgiving, Meredith Grey."

"Happy Thanksgiving, Derek Shepherd."


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, so....I'm back! I managed to write a couple chapters while I was gone, so hopefully that makes up for the past couple weeks. I also want to let you guys know that now that summer's here, I'll be a bit busier, so I may not be able to update as frequently as I have been in the past. I'm going to try to update as much as I can, and I really hope you guys are still interested in this story! Enjoy :)**

Meredith sighed as she walked into her classroom after school had ended the next week. It had been an amazing week, full of sleepovers with Derek, dinner dates and him surprising her twice by bringing her coffee in the morning when he dropped Meg off. She was slowly starting to fall even more in love with him, and she wasn't sure how she'd allowed herself to become this girl, the one who fantasized about marrying her perfect boyfriend and dreamed of a happily ever after. Her past had never allowed her to be that happy person, but she knew that Derek was changing that. She was slowly becoming stronger and more confident, the kind of person she really wanted to be, and that was because of him.

"Meg?" she frowned as she saw her usually happiest student sitting at her desk, her chin cradled in her hands as she stared at the wall with a frown on her face. "Did you miss your bus?"

"No."

"Were one of your parents supposed to pick you up?"

"No."

"What about one of your aunts or uncles?"

"No."

Meredith frowned. Meg usually was one of the happiest, and most talkative students in her class, but right now she was barely responding to what she was saying. She couldn't imagine what was wrong, and she felt her heart speed up in panic at the thought that something might be wrong with Derek. "Meg," she said softly, sitting down at the desk beside her and resting a hand on her back. "What's wrong?"

"I'm not going home," Meg sighed dejectedly. "Because my parents are the meanest people in the entire world."

Meredith smiled softly. "I'm sure that's not true," she said. "Why would you think that?"

"Because," Meg rolled her eyes. "We have to go to my stupid Grandma Scott's house for Christmas."

"Well, that sounds like fun," Meredith smiled. "Why don't you want to go to your grandma's house for Christmas?"

"Because she's not as fun as Grandpa and Grandma Shepherd," Meg explained. "And my cousin Dan is a boy. He's gross. So I'm not going home."

Meredith frowned. "Are your parents working right now?" she asked.

"Probably," Meg frowned. "Cause they're stupid and mean."

"Alright, I'm going to call your Uncle Derek and have him come pick you up," Meredith sighed. "And while we're waiting for him to get here, you and I are going to have a little chat, because I know you know the difference between right and wrong."

"Fine." Meg frowned as she buried her face in her arms as they lay crossed on the desk.

Meredith tried to ease the panic in her head at what she had just found out. If Meg was right and she wasn't going to be at the Shepherd's for Christmas, that meant that Derek could take her home. And as much as she loved him…she hadn't been planning on meeting his family any time soon.

"Hey Mer," Derek picked up the phone almost immediately, and she could hear the smile in his voice.

"You need to come here," she said without thinking.

"Is this a booty call?" Derek laughed. "Cause I love that."

"No," Meredith rolled her eyes. "You have problems. I need you to come here because your niece refuses to go home. And her parents are both working right now."

"Is she okay?" Derek asked.

"She said something about being mad that she's missing Christmas at your parents," Meredith said, hoping she sounded casual. "Apparently her parents are stupid and mean and she doesn't want to go home."

Derek sighed. "I'll come get her," he said. "I'll try and get Kath on her cell, if she's not with a patient she might be able to get over there too."

"Thanks," Meredith sighed. "I'll see you soon."

"Love you," Derek offered.

"You too," Meredith smiled as she hung up the phone. She still couldn't believe how natural it was for them to say that to each other, how easy it was for her to admit that she loved him. That was something she never thought she was able to do, but she was quickly realizing that her life without Derek had been completely lonely and she never wanted to go back to that.

"Alright Miss Scott," Meredith sighed as she sat back down next to Meg. "Now tell me again what our rules about bus time are."

"Ummm….that we have to line up quietly?" Meg suggested, a hopeful gleam in her eye.

"That's not the rule I'm talking about and I think you know that," Meredith said.

"We have to tell a teacher if we aren't going to take the bus," Meg said quietly. "And unless our parents are coming to get us, we have to get on the bus."

"Thank you," Meredith said. "Now, do you want to tell me why you're so angry at your parents?"

"Because I want to go to Mommy's house for Christmas," Meg sighed. "Grandma lets me help her bake cookies, and Grandpa takes me sledding. And Uncle Derek always sneaks me a present from Santa before I go to bed. Grandma Scott won't let me touch all the spensive stuff in her house, and my cousins are mean."

Meredith sighed as she looked around the room. "Do you remember what we said Christmas means?" she asked softly.

"It's about baby Jesus," Meg said. "And I gots to go to church and say lots of boring stuff."

"Well…yes," Meredith sighed. This wasn't how she'd thought this would go. "But what about how we're supposed to treat other people at Christmas time?"

"We're supposed to be nice to them cause it's Christmas and that's a happy time," Meg sighed.

"Right," Meredith nodded. "And you know what? I think your daddy would really like to go to his mommy's house for Christmas this year."

Meg sighed dramatically as she leaned back in her chair and crossed her arms over her chest. Before her pout could become too fully developed, her eyes lit up and she jumped out of her chair. "Uncle Derek!"

"You, young lady, are in trouble," Derek said, scooping her into his arms and looking closely at her. "Did you know that your mother was waiting for you to get off of the bus and she got very scared when you didn't get off with all the rest of the kids in your neighborhood?"

"She's stupid," Meg frowned. "Put me down."

"Megan Elizabeth Scott, do not call your mother stupid," Derek said firmly. "Say good bye to Miss Grey and then I'm taking you home."

"No!" Meg shouted. "You're stupid too, you're all stupid. I'm not going home."

Derek rolled his eyes as he turned back to the door with a struggling Meg in his arms. "I'll call you later," he sighed to Meredith as she looked at him with worried eyes. She watched as he struggled to keep his cranky niece calm in his arms, hoping that this wasn't an omen of things to come.

XXXXXX

"I'm sorry you had to deal with that," Kathleen said to Derek as she walked into her kitchen an hour later. "She's finally calmed down, but I don't understand why she's freaking out about this. We trade between our parents every year."

Derek sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "She's never like this," he said. "I know that Chris's mom isn't anything like ours, but she's nice enough."

"You've probably talked to her a total of five times," Kathleen sighed. "Believe me, I'd rather be with you guys too, but it's not fair to Chris if we spend every single holiday with the Shepherds."

"I get it," Derek nodded. "And as much as I hate the fact that you won't be there for Christmas, I can't help but be excited that I can take Mer home with me."

Kathleen smiled softly. "You really love her," she stated.

"I do," Derek nodded. "After Thanksgiving….she's growing so much, Kath, and I keep falling in love with her all over again."

"That's so cute," Kathleen grinned. "My baby brother, completely in love."

Derek rolled his eyes, but before he could answer, his cell phone rang and he looked down at it. "It's Mer," he said. "I'll leave you to explain your precious daughter to Chris. Give me a call later this week."

"I will," Kathleen nodded, leaning forward to kiss his cheek. "Love you Derbear."

"Goodbye," Derek rolled his eyes at the use of his nickname as he moved towards the door and flipped his phone open. "Hey Mer."

"Hi," her voice greeted him. "So um…is Meg okay?"

"I think so," Derek sighed. "Or she will be. She doesn't really have a choice in the matter, so she just has to accept it."

Meredith was silent for a moment before she asked, "So she's not going to be at your parents' house for Christmas?"

"She's not," Derek smiled. He knew she was freaking out, but he didn't want to have this conversation over the phone. "You want to spend the night at my place tonight?"

"Sure," Meredith said hesitantly. "Um…I can be there in half an hour."

"I'll be waiting," Derek smiled. "See you soon, Mer."

He hung up the phone as he pulled into his apartment building, smiling as he walked up to his apartment. He couldn't believe that Meredith would be able to come home with him for Christmas. It was going to be completely perfect, even if he would miss his sister and her rambunctious daughter. But at least he would be able to give his girlfriend the best Christmas ever.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd!"

Derek cringed as he opened the door to his apartment and was met with his mother's stern voice that had always made him want to head for the hills. What he could possibly have done this time, he had no idea.

"Um….hi Mom," Derek tried, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "Have you lost weight?"

"Don't try that with me, young man," Emma frowned, shoving him into the kitchen. "Have I taught you nothing? This kitchen is unbelievable. I came over to drop off some of your favorite Christmas cookies on my way to visit your father's store, and I couldn't help but notice how horrible this is. What in the world is wrong with you?"

"Oh," Derek frowned, trying to remember the last time he'd actually used that kitchen. Meredith's house was closer to work for her, and he couldn't even remember the last time he'd spent the night anywhere besides her bed. "It's not my mess."

"Derek, I realize that Mark is the messier of the two of you, but that only means that you should be even more aware of how clean this place should be," Emma said, pointing to a pile of dirty dishes in the sink. "Honestly, I'm surprised there isn't any mold on these."

"Mom," Derek laughed. "I've only been here to change and study in the past week. Since Thanksgiving I've been spending a lot of time at Mer's."

Emma's frown turned to a look of complete joy. "You're living with her?" she exclaimed. "Oh, Derek, I'm so happy that you're finally letting yourself act on how you feel. I just wish I could meet her."

"First of all, I'm not living with her," Derek said. "And…she's on her way over here right now."

Emma's eyes widened. "Well, that's wonderful," she said. "I'll finally be one step closer to your father in becoming your favorite parent."

Derek rolled his eyes. "I don't have a favorite parent," he said. "And thanks for telling me that Kath and Chris are going to Chris's parents this year. I appreciated that."

Emma laughed. "I figured that you would remember they trade years," she said.

"Whatever," Derek shrugged. "This means that Mer can come for Christmas."

Emma tilted her head to the side. "What about her family?" she asked.

"Mom, I've told you this," Derek sighed. "She doesn't have family. And please don't bring that up. But if you want to invite her to Christmas yourself, please feel free to do so. She probably won't believe me if I invite her."

"Hey, Der, the door was open so I just…." Meredith stumbled into the apartment, kicking her shoes off by the door and trailing off as she looked up to see Emma sitting beside Derek on the couch. "I umm….sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Derek laughed as he moved towards her and kissing her quickly before he whispered, "sorry, I didn't know she'd be here."

"She…your mom?"

"She'll love you," Derek nodded. "Just breathe." He placed a hand on her back as he turned her back towards the living room, smiling at his mother. "Mer, this is my mother, Emma Shepherd. Mom, this is Meredith."

"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith said as she reached her hand out. "I've heard wonderful things about you and your family."

Emma smiled as she ignored Meredith's hand and pulled her into a tight embrace. "I'm sure that anything my son has told you is completely not true," she said. "And please, call me Emma."

"Oh," Meredith nodded as she returned the hug. "Okay…Emma."

"Now, I want to hear all about you," Emma said as she pulled Meredith onto the couch beside her. "Derek, dear, go call your father and tell him that we'll be having the two of you over for dinner tonight. He can pick up some steak on the way home. You like steak, don't you, Meredith?"

Derek snorted from his place behind the couch and Meredith glared at him for a moment before she nodded "Yes, I like steak," she said.

"Mer likes everything, Mom," Derek laughed. "She's nothing like the sisters."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with having a healthy appetite," Emma said with a firm nod. "And that just makes my job easier for Christmas dinner."

"Christmas?" Meredith asked.

"Yes, from what I gather, you'll be joining us," Emma smiled. "If you'd like, of course. But I'm sure that my son my throw a temper tantrum if you refuse the invitation."

Meredith giggled as she turned to look at Derek. "I don't know," she said. "I think that would be kind of amusing."

Derek rolled his eyes as he recognized the sparkle of amusement in his mother's eyes. "Mom…" he said. "Don't."

"I don't know, Derek, I think Meredith would be very interested to hear about your tantrums when you were younger," Emma said.

"Meredith's interested," Meredith said with a nod. "What did he do?"

"Well, he went through a phase where he decided that if he didn't like what was happening around him, everything would be better if he took his clothes off," Emma said. "I'd be in the supermarket and when I told him I wouldn't buy cookies, he'd get his revenge by taking his clothes off faster than I ever knew possible, and sprinting through the store."

Meredith giggled as she looked up at a blushing Derek. "You know, I took some child psychology courses," she said. "I think you may have some problems, Der. Normal kids kick people and throw things. Only the weird ones strip in public."

"I hate you."

"You love me," Meredith giggled.

"I'm leaving now."

"Good," Meredith smiled, reaching up to bring his lips down to hers. "I'll get more embarrassing stories."

Derek groaned as he moved to sit on the armchair beside her end of the couch. "This is so not far," he said. "There's no one for me to ask about embarrassing stories of you."

"I have no embarrassing stories," Meredith nodded. "I wasn't a weird kid."

"Oh, dear, that wasn't even the beginning of it," Emma laughed. "Wait until you hear about the biology flashcards he made himself when he was seven."

Meredith giggled as she leaned closer to his mother, and even though he knew it was at his expense, he couldn't help but love the fact that Meredith fit in with this part of his life so well. He now knew that every single aspect of his life had a large place where Meredith belonged, and that was better than any other present that could be given to him this Christmas.


	14. Chapter 14

"Are you sure this is okay?" Meredith asked as she frowned at her reflection in the mirror.

"Meredith, you look beautiful," Derek smiled as he paused tying his tie to kiss her cheek. "I promise."

"I still think you're lying," Meredith sighed.

"When have I ever lied to you?" Derek asked as he reached for the jacket for his suit.

"Never," Meredith frowned as she turned, trying to look at her back in the mirror. "But I give you sex, so you have to tell me I look beautiful."

"Meredith," Derek laughed, taking her hands and pulling her close to him. "There's no reason to be nervous."

"Yes there is," Meredith argued. "I've never been to church before. I've never even celebrated Christmas before. And now I'm being thrown into the perfect fairy tale Christmas with your stupid perfect family, and I have no idea what I'm doing. And I still don't think that me sleeping over at your parents' house is a good idea."

Derek laughed as he kissed her forehead. "Let's talk about this in the car," he laughed, taking her hand and reaching for the overnight bag she'd packed earlier that day. "First of all…church is ridiculously boring, and I stopped going regularly a long time ago. It means a lot to my parents that I go on Christmas so I do, but it's not a big deal. And you'll love Christmas. There's lots of presents and lots of food. My family loves you, probably more than they like me at this point. And I don't care what you say, we're spending the night at my parents'. Nancy and Matt will be there too, and Kath and Chris would be if they weren't with his parents this year. There's no way I'm waking up on Christmas morning without you."

Meredith bit her lower lip as she watched the snow covered Seattle scenery slide by outside the window. "Are you sure your parents don't think I'm some kind of slut?" she asked. "Because honestly, Der, I'm sleeping with the uncle of one of my students. That can't look good."

Derek frowned as he reached over to lace their fingers together. "Mer, we have got to work on getting some self confidence into you," he said. "You are not a slut, nothing of the sort. And yes, you are sleeping with me, but this is so much more than that. One day you won't be Meg's teacher anymore. And I hope that after that day, we can get married and really spend the rest of our lives together."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. "Is it warm in here?"

"I'm sorry," Derek said softly, squeezing her hand. "I didn't mean to freak you out. I just want you to know that I'm not leaving you. I know you've never had anyone stay with you no matter what, and I just want you to understand what that feels like. I love you, Mer, and my family loves you. You might not have family of your own, but I'm more than willing to share mine with you, if you'll let me."

Meredith smiled as she turned to stare at him. "You're quite the charmer, you know that?" she asked.

"I try," Derek shrugged with a smirk. "Seriously, Mer, you're never going to be alone again. I'm going to make sure of that."

"Thank you," she whispered as he pulled into a parking lot of a large church and parked his car in the middle of the crowded lot. Meredith leaned over to kiss him gently. "And you'll make sure I don't completely embarrass myself?"

"I promise," Derek laughed. "Everyone will think you're a church expert."

Meredith clutched his hand tightly as she held her coat close to her with the other, trying to make herself like she belonged in church. Derek wanted her there, she wanted to spend Christmas with his family, and especially him. She'd never had a real Christmas before, and she couldn't wait to experience the magic she was sure the Shepherd family made Christmas to be.

She watched curiously as Derek dipped his hand in the Holy Water and crossed himself, briefly wondering if she had to do the same. Derek shook his head and squeezed her hand as he pulled her into the sanctuary. Meredith swallowed hard as her eyes landed on the entire Shepherd family, lined up neatly in a pew in the middle of the church. She'd met all of them at least once, even had a few dinners with Emma and Michael over the past few weeks since she'd accidentally met Derek's mother. She'd always enjoyed their company, but she hoped that when they learned that she wasn't the perfect Irish Catholic they thought she was they might not have the same opinion they had of her right now.

"Hey Mom," Derek smiled as he slid into the pew beside her and pressing a quick kiss to her cheek. "Sorry we're late."

"Hi dear," she said, leaning over him to reach for Meredith's hand. "Hello, Meredith.. I'm so glad Derek finally convinced you to come have Christmas with us."

Meredith smiled nervously. "Thank you," she said softly. "I'm really grateful that you're willing to include me."

"Of course," Emma squeezed her hand tightly before the service began. Derek leaned back in to pew, placing a casual arm over the back of the pew where Meredith sat, giving her shoulder a gentle squeeze every once in a while as he quietly recited the prayers, words he had no doubt memorized long ago and never really forgotten, no matter how little he attended church anymore.

After the service, Derek smiled and laced his fingers through Meredith's. "That wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked.

"No," Meredith smiled nervously, flashing Michael a grateful smile as he helped her into her coat. "Thanks, Mr. Shepherd."

"Michael," he automatically corrected. "And I'm trying to be an influence for my son. Honestly, Derek, did I teach you nothing?"

"Hey, I've tried being a gentleman," Derek laughed as he pulled Meredith close to him. "When I do it, I get in trouble. It seems that just because she's a woman she doesn't need me opening doors for her and pulling out chairs."

Meredith blushed furiously. "That's not true," she argued weakly, even though she knew it was.

"It is," Derek nodded as they walked into the parking lot. "The first and only time I opened her car door for her I was afraid that I was going to lose my hand. And I got a good long lecture about how feminists fought long and hard to prove they were just as good as men and probably better. After that, I was afraid that some more important parts of my body would be not so painlessly removed."

Liz laughed as they stopped in front of the car. "Good job, Meredith," she nodded. "Us girls need to stand up for ourselves."

"Okay, it's cold," Meredith said quickly, moving closer to Derek. "Can we just…drop this and go home?"

"Yes," Derek laughed, moving towards the driver's side of the car and smiling at his family as they piled into the car beside them. "We'll see you back at the house."

"You are in so much trouble," Meredith informed him as soon as he started the car.

"What?" Derek asked, turning to frown at her. "Why?"

"Because now your mom probably thinks I'm some crazy raging feminist," Meredith replied. "Which is so not true, but she probably thinks that anyways and hates me."

"Mer," Derek laughed. "My mom does not hate you. She's already starting to think of you as one of her own daughters. And this is Christmas. You can't be mad at me, it's a rule."

Meredith sighed as she looked at him carefully. "I'm not mad," she said after a long moment. "Do you think…never mind."

"What?" Derek asked.

"It's nothing," Meredith shook her head. "It's Christmas. And tomorrow we get to open presents, which will be fun."

"Meredith," Derek said, effectively cutting off her ramble before it even began.

"I just…do you think we're moving too fast?" Meredith asked. "I mean, we've only really been together for a couple months. And you're talking about marriage. Which is okay, because even though it's really scary, I can see it happening. One day, really far away, I can see us getting married. But is that only because we're still in the happy, I love you no matter what stage of the relationship?"

Derek smiled softly. "Mer, I know it's fast," he smiled softly. "And I have no intention of proposing anytime soon. But eventually, yes, I do want to marry you. But if that freaks you out, just take it in the now. Lots of dates, someone to turn to for comfort, lots of presents and spoiling, and lots and lots of sex."

Meredith giggled slightly. "I like that," she said.

"Good," Derek nodded. "So we'll take it to the next step when we both feel ready. And for now, we enjoy your first Christmas. Okay?"

"Okay," Meredith nodded as he pulled up to the front of a modest, white two story house. "This is your house?" she asked.

"It's where I grew up," Derek nodded as he turned off the engine and reached for her hand. "Ready?"

"Mmmhmm," Meredith nodded, walking up to the porch where Michael was unlocking the front door. "Wow," she breathed as she stepped into the darkness of the house, the white lights from the Christmas tree in the living room in front of them the only illumination within the house.

Derek smiled as he stepped closer to her, sliding his arms around her waist as he rested his chin on her shoulder. "It's amazing, isn't it?" she asked.

"It really is," she nodded, reaching for the bag he'd carried in with him. "I can…I mean, I have presents. Should I put them under the tree?"

"Usually where they go," Derek laughed as he moved away and grabbed her hand. "We'll be in the kitchen in a second," he said to his family as he pulled Meredith into the living room.

"So…this is Christmas," Meredith smiled as she knelt on the ground, pulling a few presents out of her bag and placing it under the tree.

"It is," Derek nodded, frowning as he read the nametags on her presents. "Where's my present?"

Meredith's eyes sparkled as she leaned closer to him. "What makes you think I got you a present?" she asked.

"Because you love me," Derek replied.

"I went down on you in the movie theater last week," Meredith giggled. "I think that's a good enough present."

"That's not a present," Derek frowned. "That's just dirty."

Meredith giggled as she leaned forward to whisper in his ear. "Well…I am a very dirty girl."

"God, Mer," Derek breathed, pulling her closer to him and trying to kiss her hard.

"No," Meredith shook her head, pushing him away. "Definitely no sex in your parents house."

"What?" Derek frowned.

"I'm not some slut who's screwing you just to get off," Meredith replied. "And I want your parents to know that it's not about sex. Plus the fact that it's weird and twisted."

"It's not weird and twisted," Derek shook his head. "Mark practically lived here in high school and he had sex here all the time."

"Well, you're not Mark," Meredith replied as she stood. "And we're not doing it, so just hold out until tomorrow night."

"That's just mean," Derek muttered as he followed her out the door. "They're in the kitchen."

Meredith bit her lower lip as he led her down the hall towards the kitchen, smiling when she saw his parents and sisters gathered around the table, Nancy cradling her new son in her arms. Hot chocolate rested in each of their hands, and a large plate of cookies sat in the middle of the table.

"It's about time you two decided to join us," Michael laughed as he motioned to the two empty chairs at the end of the table.

"So….what are we doing?" Meredith asked as she sat down, gratefully accepting the hot chocolate Emma handed her and biting into a cookie.

"It's our Christmas tradition," Caitlin said. "Before we go to sleep on Christmas Eve we just sit as a family and spend some time together."

"And as much fun as it is to make fun of Derbear, there's no teasing allowed," Liz added.

"It's just nice to spend a quiet few minutes together as a family," Emma sighed. "Although I do wish Kathleen were here."

"I'm personally glad that it's Chris's family's year," Derek said, pressing a kiss to Meredith's head.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd," Emma frowned. "Are you saying you're glad that your sister won't be able to spend Christmas with our family?"

"No," Derek laughed as he wrapped an arm around Meredith. "I'm just glad that Mer has somewhere to be this Christmas."

"I'll second that," Michael nodded, raising his mug in the air for a mock toast. "If Kathleen can't be here, at least I've got another daughter to spoil."

"Oh," Meredith blushed, dipping her head slightly. "I um…I'm really glad to be here too."

"Okay, I've got to get this one to bed," Nancy smiled as she stood. "He's got a big day tomorrow."

"I'll help you," Matt offered, following his wife towards the stairs.

"Yes, I think it's time that all of us headed upstairs," Emma said with a smile. "There's never a dull moment in this house on Christmas."

"Come on, Mer," Derek said, pulling her to her feet. "I'll show you my room."

"Do you….I can sleep on the couch," Meredith bit her lower lip as she glanced at Derek's parents and sisters.

"What?" Derek frowned. "Why would you do that?"

"I just…we're not married, so I thought…"

Michael laughed as he stood and walked over to where the two of them were standing. "Emma and I may be getting old, but if there's one thing we understand, it's what it's like to be in love. You don't need a marriage certificate to sleep in the same bed as our son. We understand."

Meredith blushed, but Derek squeezed her hand as he smiled at his parents. "Thanks Dad," he said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, son," Michael said as he returned back to the table, smiling at his daughters as he reached for Emma's hand.

"I can't believe you just tried to get out of sleeping with me on Christmas Eve," Derek rolled his eyes as he pulled her towards the stairs.

"Well, your parents are pretty traditional," she sighed. "I didn't know if they'd be comfortable with that."

"They are," Derek nodded. "They're not exactly stupid. We're adults, we're allowed to make our own decisions about being in a relationship. And this….is my room." He opened the door at the end of the hall and smiled as he escorted Meredith into the room, watching the slow smile spread over her face.

"It's very…Dereky," she said.

"Is that a good thing?" Derek laughed, closing the door and making his way towards the bed.

"I'll think about it," she giggled. "You had your own bathroom?"

"My parents took pity on me," he laughed. "I was the only boy, so I was the only one who didn't have to share, and when they all became teenagers and messing around with make up and all that shit my parents managed to make me a small bathroom. It counted as my birthday and Christmas presents for a year, but it was worth it."

Meredith smiled as she slid onto the bed beside him, resting her head in his lap as she stared up at him. "Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," he laughed, a hand automatically going through her hair.

"I like your room," she said. "It's safe and comfortable. And it reminds me of you."

Derek smiled as he leaned down to kiss her softly. "I'm glad," he said with a nod. "I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith whispered, sitting so that she was eye level with him, a hand burying itself in his thick hair. "This has been the best Christmas ever."

"You ain't seen nothing yet," Derek murmured against her lips.

"Merry Christmas," Meredith whispered, pressing her lips against his again.

"Merry Christmas, Mer."


	15. Chapter 15

Meredith Grey was adorable.

That was all Derek could think as he lay in his childhood bedroom on Christmas morning, his head propped up by his hand as he watched his girlfriend sleep beside him.

Her hair was curling gently around her face, and a soft smile played over her lips. Her nose scrunched slightly, and her chest rose and fell slowly as she breathed deeply. It was all he could do not to get out of bed to grab the camera that lay across the room on the desk.

But that required moving, which was something he definitely didn't want to do right now. Moving was bad and horrible, and he just wanted to watch his perfectly amazing girlfriend sleep beside him. Especially since he knew in about five minutes it would be time to wake up and she wouldn't look so cute and innocent anymore.

Unable to resist touching her any longer, Derek reached out and rubbed her stomach softly, letting his fingers play against the soft skin beneath his T-shirt that she had worn to bed. She was about to experience her first Christmas, and he didn't want to wait any longer to show her the amazing feeling of spending Christmas with the Shepherds.

"Meredith," he whispered, leaning down so his mouth was next to her ear. "Wake up."

"No," she mumbled, rolling closer to him and burying her face in his chest. "Too early."

"You know, teachers are supposed to like waking up early," Derek laughed. "It's part of their job."

"Says who?"

"Me."

"You're an idiot."

"I'm offended," Derek laughed, moving his lips to her cheek, then to her lips as he rolled on top of her. "Wake up."

"No," Meredith giggled slightly, even as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

"Merry Christmas," Derek whispered, running a hand through her hair.

Meredith smiled slightly as she reached up to run her hands through his own thick curls. "Merry Christmas," she replied. "What time is it?"

Derek smiled as he reached down to lace his fingers through hers. "You're going to hate me," he said softly.

Meredith frowned. "What time is it?" she repeated.

"Five."

"In the morning?"

"Does anyone actually sleep until five in the evening on Christmas?" Derek asked. "Or well…ever?"

"I'm going back to sleep," Meredith rolled her eyes, turning onto her side, effectively pushing him off of her.

"But it's Christmas."

"It will still be Christmas in three hours," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Or five."

"You can't sleep until ten," Derek insisted, pulling her back over to him so he could look into her eyes. "Presents."

"Are you five?" Meredith asked. "Normal people can wait until morning for presents."

"If I was five, you'd be in a lot of trouble," Derek laughed. "And I think you know I'm not."

Meredith rolled her eyes, but before she could say anything, the door burst open. "Merry Christmas, Derbear!" Liz cried, quickly covering her eyes. "Oh, I don't want to see that."

Derek laughed as he rolled off of Meredith and slid out of bed. "It's okay, Lizzie," he said. "Merry Christmas."

"Merry Christmas, Mer," Liz smiled over Derek's shoulder as Meredith sat up in bed, a confused frown on her face.

"Okay, it's the middle of the night," Meredith sighed. "What's going on?"

"I told you," Derek smiled, pulling her out of bed. "Shepherds wake up early on Christmas."

"Shepherds are stupid," Meredith muttered under her breath as she reached for one of Derek's sweatshirts.

"I'd be offended if you thought that was true," Derek laughed, grabbing her hand. "Come on."

Meredith couldn't help but smile at Derek's obvious enthusiasm for the holiday. As a teacher, she'd always tried to fake a love for Christmas, but ever since college she'd usually spend the day in front of a fire with a good book. It had always been her own personal celebration, but she was quickly beginning to understand why her students always became so excited come December. And she couldn't help but grin at the way her boyfriend seemed to bounce with every step he took, the grin on his face allowing her to glimpse at the adorable little boy he must have been.

"Well, it's about time," Michael laughed as he looked up from his place on the floor beside the tree. "Never thought Derek would be the last one up on Christmas."

"I had a pretty girl in my bed," Derek laughed. "I got distracted."

"Oh, gross," Caitlin rolled her eyes. "Can we have our presents now, Daddy?"

"Of course," Michael laughed, handing a present to Nancy. "Michael gets the first present."

Nancy smiled as she unwrapped the baby blanket from its paper, running her hands over the finely stitched words, _Michael's First Christmas. _"It's beautiful," she said. "Thanks, Mom."

"It's Mer's first Christmas too," Derek announced, tugging on Meredith's hand. "She should get the second present."

"I don't…" Meredith started, completely taken by surprise when Michael handed her a neatly wrapped present. "Oh."

"It's from Santa," Emma explained with a warm smile. "He knew you have a lot to catch up on."

Meredith ran her hands delicately over the paper for a moment before she gently tore at it, revealing a black jewelry box. She glanced at Derek for a moment before she cracked the box open, revealing a simple silver necklace with an M dangling from the bottom. "What…this is too much," she shook her head.

"It's really not," Emma smiled as she leaned forward. "Each of my daughters got a necklace with their initials on it for their sixteenth birthday. I know you're not officially a daughter yet, but with the way my son looks at you, it won't be long before you're a Shepherd."

Tears sprang to Meredith's eyes as she fingered the simple chain that meant more to her than any of the diamond earrings her mother had sent her secretary out to buy for Christmases when she was a teenager. "Thank you," she whispered. "I love it."

"Here," Derek murmured, taking the necklace from her hands. "I'll put it on you."

Meredith held her hair up so he could clasp the chain gently around her neck, pressing a quick kiss to her neck as he did so. "It looks beautiful," he laughed.

The family soon became lost in a whirlwind of wrapping paper and presents, and Meredith leaned into Derek's warmth as he laughed at Liz's reaction to the sweater Caitlin had picked out for her and awed over his father's new tackle box. This was amazing, completely amazing, and she ever wanted it to end.

"Here's one for Derek," Michael smiled offering Derek a present. "From Meredith."

Derek smiled as Meredith shifted off of him, wanting to watch him open the present. He quickly tore the paper off, breathing in deeply when he saw the silver watch resting in the box in his hands. "Mer…" he whispered.

"Do you like it?" she asked, biting her lower lip. "I thought about getting gold, but then I thought that you're more of a silvery person even though you don't really wear any jewelry because you're a guy, but…you like it?"

"It's perfect," Derek smiled as she slid the watch out of the box and hooked it onto his left wrist.

"And I set it to Meredith time," she giggled. "So I won't yell at you anymore."

"I'm sure you'll still find something to yell at me about," Derek laughed, leaning forward to kiss her. "I love it, thanks."

"What's Meredith time?" Matt asked as he held his son gently against his shoulder.

"Derek's always stupid early to pick me up for dates," Meredith giggled. "So when we make plans he has to ask me if the time is based on Meredith time or Derek time. And I set this watch to Meredith time so he can forget that Derek time even exists."

"Except for the fact that the rest of the world operates on Derek time," he laughed. "It's not my fault that Meredith time operates fifteen minutes behind the rest of the world."

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes.

"Hmmm," Derek smiled, slipping an envelope into her hands. "From Santa."

Meredith frowned as she opened the envelope, her eyes widening as she read the words on the rectangular pieces of paper in her hands. "Derek…."

"Tickets to Europe," Derek nodded. "Because this is my last summer, and I have three months in between graduation and the start of my internship, and as soon as school's out you're not Meg's teacher anymore. What better way to celebrate than going to Europe?"

"I…Derek, are you serious?" she breathed.

Derek smiled as he leaned closer to her. "I'm serious," he nodded. "Six weeks in Europe. Wherever you want to go, we're there."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered. "God, Derek, I don't…this is too much."

"It's not," Derek replied. "We'll talk about it later, but I want to do this for you, Mer. Please, just let me give you this."

"Okay," Meredith nodded, leaning forward to kiss him. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Derek laughed, wrapping an arm around her. "I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith sighed, settling comfortably against his chest as she watched his family continue their Christmas celebration, finally understanding exactly what it felt like to be apart of a family.

XXXXXX

"This was…the best Christmas ever," Derek breathed as they walked up the sidewalk to her house later that night, Meredith's hand clutched tightly in his.

"You're just saying that," Meredith rolled her eyes as she began to dig through her purse for her keys.

"I am not," Derek laughed as he followed her into the house. "Having you there as apart of my family, being able to give you your first real Christmas….there's nothing that I have ever enjoyed more."

"Oh really?" Meredith raised her eyebrows as they reached her room. "Nothing?" she asked, her fingers trailing over the hem of her shirt, inching it up slowly.

"Well…not nothing," Derek swallowed hard.

Meredith giggled as she turned towards the bathroom. "Good," she said. "Are you staying tonight?" she called through the door a few minutes later.

"I don't think leaving is actually an option," Derek laughed as he kicked his shoes off and reached for his pajamas.

"Good," Meredith smiled as she came back into the room, clad in one of his white button downs, and slid into bed beside him. "Hi."

"Hi," Derek laughed, reaching for her hand.

"Derek," she said softly. "Are you…the trip to Europe….it's a lot."

Derek smiled as he leaned in to kiss her softly. "I want to do it, Mer," he whispered. "I love you, and I want to spend my last summer with you. In the fall I'll be an intern, and time won't really be mine anymore. Any time I do have will be devoted to you, but… it kills me that there will be days when we won't be able to see each other. And having those two months in Europe with you will get me through lonely nights in on call rooms."

Meredith smiled softly. "I've always wanted to go to Europe," she said softly.

"My only request is Ireland," Derek said softly. "My grandpa came over from there, and I really want to see the town he's from. Our tickets fly into Dublin, but we can spend as much or as little time in Ireland as you want. London, Spain, Germany…whatever you want, Mer, it's yours."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "I don't want it to be mine."

"Mer, I know you're not used to being spoiled, but…"

Meredith shook her head, reaching out to press her hand against his lips. "That's not what I meant," she said softly. "I meant I want the trip to be ours, not mine. So we can both decided on places we really want to see and figure out a route from there."

"Oh," Derek laughed. "Okay."

"I want you to see things that you want to," Meredith sighed. "It should be our trip."

"Our trip," Derek nodded, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I like that."

"Me too," Meredith sighed.

"Mer?"

"Hmmm?"

"You don't have plans for New Year's right?"

"Actually," Meredith giggled. "Since I spent Christmas with you, I told my other boyfriend, you know the one I like better, that I'd spend New Year's Eve with him."

"Not funny," Derek rolled his eyes.

"I think it's cute when you're jealous," Meredith giggled.

"I don't get jealous," Derek said quickly.

"Yes you do," Meredith giggled, resting her head on his chest as she wrapped her legs around his. "And it's adorable."

"You know, I was going to invite you to the party Mark and I are playing at on New Year's Eve, but now you're just being mean and I'm not sure I want you there," Derek said, looking down at her with a sparkle in her eyes.

"Playing?" Meredith frowned. "Playing what?"

"The guitar," Derek laughed. "Remember, it's how I got you to fall for me."

"That's so not why I fell for you," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And how come I didn't know that you and Mark are in a band."

"My other girlfriend's a groupie, I thought that might be awkward," Derek smirked.

"Not funny."

"We're not really in a band, anymore at least," Derek explained. "Some guys we went to college with are going to be back in town for New Year's, so we figured we'd mess around a little bit."

Meredith smiled as she tilted her face up to his. "I can't believe I'm dating a musician," she purred. "It's very hot."

"A doctor and a musician," Derek smiled, his hands going to her hips. "So do you want to come?"

"Definitely," Meredith smiled, moving to rest her head against his chest again. "I need to make sure no one hits on my rockstar boyfriend."

"How come I feel like you're mocking me?" Derek asked.

"I would never do that!" Meredith giggled. "And I'm insulted that you would accuse me of that."

Derek laughed as he tightened his arms around her. "Mer?"

"Hmmmm?"

"This really was the best Christmas ever."

Meredith grinned as she traced the outline of Derek's new watch against his skin. "Mine too," she whispered. "I love you."

"I love you too." Derek smiled as he gently ran his fingers through Meredith's hair, watching as she drifted into a deep sleep. She was amazing, and today had been one of the best days he could remember having in a long time. He'd finally helped Meredith to see what Christmas as all about, and he couldn't wait to share more firsts with her.


	16. Chapter 16

Meredith couldn't help but stare at her boyfriend as he stood at the front of the room, his guitar strapped over his shoulder as he quietly tuned the strings. She'd watched him play before, but mostly just for her students and messing around with his dad in Michael's music shop. But now, he stood in front of her wearing jeans that fit him amazingly well and a light blue button down that was only button halfway, allowing her to sneak a peak at the strong chest she loved to be crushed up against.

Derek Shepherd was hot, and there was still apart of her that couldn't believe that he was actually hers, that she knew without a doubt that she would be going home with him tonight, after the celebration of the new year.

Mark's house had apparently been abandoned by his parents in favor of a Mediterranean vacation, and he'd taken the opportunity to invite practically everyone he'd ever met over for New Year's. Derek had been good about staying close to Meredith, introducing her to several people that he'd gone to both college and high school with before Mark had shoved him to the front of the living room where the band equipment had been set up. Now, Meredith stood alone against the far wall of the room, sipping a beer as Derek's eyes met hers and he held her gaze for a long moment, causing her skin to heat and her knees to go weak.

After a long moment of intense eye sex, their trance was broken as Derek was pulled into the group huddle of the band. He smiled widely at her as he strummed the guitar slowly a couple times, ensuring that it was in tune before the band began to play.

"Hi," Meredith heard a voice say from her left, and she turned to smile politely at the man approaching her, a beer in his hands.

"Hi," she said distractedly, turning to look at Derek as he leaned into the microphone. Damn, he was hot.

"I'm Ian," he said, offering her his hand.

Meredith stared at his hand for a moment before she smiled slightly. "Meredith," she said without offering her hand.

"This is a pretty great party, isn't it?" Ian asked, leaning against the wall beside Meredith.

"I guess," Meredith shrugged, her eyes moving back towards Derek.

"How do you know Mark?"

"I'm actually dating his best friend," Meredith said without taking her eyes off of Derek.

"You're dating Derek Shepherd?" Ian asked, stepping back slightly.

"I am," Meredith smiled. "You know him?"

"I do," Ian nodded. "I'm actually impressed that he managed to land someone as beautiful as you."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she turned back to look at Derek. His eyes met hers, a fiery expression on his face. As the song finished, Derek kept his eyes on her and smirked slightly.

"Alright, this song is dedicated to Meredith," he said in a deep voice that made Meredith's spine tingle. She swallowed hard as she stepped closer to the stage, watching in curiosity as Derek's eyes darkened considerably as he began singing, his fingers flying over the fret of his guitar as his shirt began to cling to his chest with the sweat that was collecting on his body. Meredith shifted uncomfortably on her feet as she felt the familiar feel of arousal rush through her body. Derek was jealous, which was completely ridiculous if she thought about it, but right now he looked too hot to deal with it. As his eyes bore into hers, all she could think about was what it would feel like to throw his guitar to the side and have her way with him right there in the middle of the party.

"Are you okay?" Ian asked, suddenly appearing at her side. "You look flushed."

"I'm fine," Meredith responded quickly, glancing at him for a moment, considering her options. She usually hated jealous Derek, but right now, with a couple beers in her and a guitar strapped over her shoulder, jealous Derek was just plain hot. And if she added fuel to the fire…she couldn't imagine how hot he would be then.

With her eyes still on Derek, she stepped closer to Ian, finally turning her eyes to him as she ducked her head closer to his, giggling softly as she continued glancing at Derek, his face turning bright red. This was fun.

The second the song was over, before the drums had even stopped, Derek's guitar was resting against the wall and he was making his way towards Meredith, his eyes locked on hers with a fiery passion. Meredith held her breath as he grabbed her arm, finally tearing his eyes away from hers to meet Ian's. "I need to steal her away," he said as he dragged her towards the kitchen.

"What…Derek," Meredith breathed as she stumbled after him, breathing hard as he pulled her towards the stairs. "What are you doing?"

Derek ignored her questions as he dragged her up the stairs, pulling her into a room at the top of the stairs and slamming the door behind her. "You're flirting with other guys?" he asked, his gaze boring into hers as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Meredith swallowed hard as she stared at him, her body heating at the way he was staring at her. "Does that make you jealous?" she purred, tilting her head to the side.

"You know I don't get jealous," Derek said in a low voice. "But it does make me very angry."

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded. "What are you going to do about it?"

"You're mine," Derek practically growled. "Mine."

"I don't belong to anyone," Meredith snapped, knowing that she was only making him more agitated.

"Meredith," Derek groaned, reaching out and pulling her close to him, kissing her hard as he let his body rub against hers. "You're mine."

"You think you can just claim me?" Meredith snapped, trying to pull away from him and squealing in surprise as Derek pushed her onto the bed behind her.

"Yes," he breathed heavily, reaching down to pull her shirt over her head. "You're mine."

"You want me, Derek?" Meredith breathed, reaching out to tear the buttons of his shirt open.

"Yes," he breathed, pulling her jeans over her hips and throwing them to the side.

"Take me," she whispered in his ear, biting it hard as she wrapped her legs around his waist, her naked body teasing his erection that was still trapped in his jeans. "I need you, Derek."

Derek groaned as he pulled his jeans off, pushing her onto her back and pushing himself into her without any sense of foreplay. "Mer…." he groaned as he pounded himself into her, his movements quick and fast as he tried to claim her as his own.

"Derek!" she screamed, her hands going to his back and clawing wildly. "Derek, oh God!"

"Mine," Derek breathed as he continued to thrust hard into her, gripping her hips tightly.

"Derek…." his name came from her lips in one long moan, and she forced her hips up to meet his, her body trembling beneath his touch. "Please…."

"What do you want?" he murmured, stilling inside of her and looking into her eyes.

"I want…harder," Meredith breathed, her hips grinding against his. "I want it hard."

"I can do that," Derek nodded, lifting himself over her again as he began thrusting into her harder than before, taking Meredith's hands and holding them steady over her head. "You're mine."

"Yours," Meredith gasped, her eyes falling shut as she struggled to tear her hands away from his, reaching for his hair. "Yes, Derek. Yes!"

"Oh God," Derek moaned, his pace picking up as he felt himself coming closer to his peak. "Meredith…mine."

"Derek!" she screamed, her body tensing beneath his. "Oh, Derek…."

"Meredith," Derek groaned as he felt himself release into her as her body tightened around him, both of them moaning in pleasure as he thrust a few more powerful times, finally collapsing on top of her, his head resting on her chest as his warm breath tickled her throat.

"Oh my God," Meredith breathed, a shaky hand going to stroke his damp curls. "Derek."

"Hmmm," he moaned in appreciation as he shifted to lay next to her.

"Jealous sex is hot," she giggled, turning on her side to look at him.

"I'm not jealous," Derek said automatically.

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Right," she said. "That's why you had to keep screaming that I'm yours."

"That was just…a fact," Derek argued weakly.

"Right," she sighed as she ran her hands over her chest. "I can't believe I just slept with the lead singer of the band."

He laughed as he tightened his arms around her. "Music turns you on?" he asked.

"Only hot ones who moonlight as doctors," Meredith breathed, tilting her head up to kiss him gently. "I can't believe you play like that, Der. You're really good."

"Thanks," Derek shrugged. "My dad was a musician, he opened the store when Kathleen was born, but I grew up playing the guitar. I barely remember not being able to play."

"That's nice," Meredith smiled, threading her fingers through his. "Are you going to teach…your son?"

"Hmmm," Derek shrugged. "If he wants to learn. I'm not going to be the type of parent who makes his kids do things they don't want to."

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded, wincing slightly as she shifted onto her back.

"You okay?" Derek frowned.

"I'm fine," she nodded. "Just…rough sex."

"Did I hurt you?" Derek frowned, pulling back to look at the bruises already starting to form on her thighs. "Mer, I'm sorry."

"I'm not," she giggled, rolling closer to him. "It was amazing. You're hot when you're jealous."

Derek sighed as he pulled her closer. "Well, I'm not sorry for the sex, but I'm sorry for hurting you," he breathed.

"I'm pretty sure you'll have some battle wounds as well," Meredith giggled.

"Considering the fact that your nails could more accurately be described as claws, I would say so," Derek laughed.

"Do you have to keep playing?" Meredith whispered into his chest.

"I don't have to," he whispered. "Do you want to miss the party?"

"We could have our own party," Meredith whispered seductively, rolling on top of him. "What do you think?"

Before he could respond, the door burst open and Mark stumbled into the room, a leggy blonde trailing behind him. When his eyes landed on the couple on the bed, he groaned and rolled his eyes. "Seriously, Shep, did you honestly just have sex in my bed?" he groaned, moving to cover his eyes.

Meredith blushed as Derek quickly pulled the covers over their bodies, and Derek just laughed. "Like you've never done it to me."

"I have never had sex in your bed," Mark rolled his eyes.

"Well….consider they payback for all the nights when I had to sleep on the couch in high school because you were having sex in our room," Derek shrugged.

"This is disturbing," Mark said. "Just…put some clothes on. It's almost midnight."

"Get out," Derek laughed, watching as Mark grumbled under his breath. He turned to look at Meredith, who was cowering under the sheets, her eyes wide. "You okay?" he asked.

"Mark just saw me naked," Meredith snapped, grabbing her shirt from the floor. "Naked, Derek."

"He didn't actually see anything," Derek pointed out.

"Seriously?" Meredith cried. "Derek, you go all cave man on me because some guy starts talking to me downstairs and then Mark walks in while we're practically having sex and you're okay with it? What kind of twisted logic is that?"

"Meredith, calm down," Derek said, reaching for her hands. "I don't want to fight with you on New Years."

"Maybe you should have thought of that before you were a complete and total idiot," Meredith muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't actually see what I did wrong," Derek stated.

"You just had sex with me in Mark's room!" Meredith exclaimed. "You could have taken me to another room or at least locked the door."

"I wasn't exactly thinking clearly," Derek said as he pulled her into his arms. "It's just Mark, Mer. He knows you're off limits."

Meredith sighed as she leaned into his embrace. "It's just embarrassing," she whispered.

"I know," he sighed. "Though I should show him to scratch marks on my back. He'd be impressed."

"You're an idiot," Meredith rolled her eyes as she reached for his hand. "Ready to go back down?"

"I suppose," Derek sighed.

Meredith giggled as she led him towards the stairs. "You know I don't go back to work until the third," she said, resting her chin on his shoulder. "Which means we have two full days together."

"Well, I like the sound of that," Derek smiled. "Do you have plans for those two days?"

"Well," Meredith breathed in his ear. "I was thinking we could watch some movies."

"Movies," Derek nodded, smiling as they entered the living room. He collapsed into an armchair and pulled her onto his lap. She smiled as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck, effectively cutting out everyone else in the room.

"Movies," Meredith nodded. "You see, I found some very…interesting movies underneath your TV."

"They're Mark's," Derek said quickly.

"Oh," Meredith nodded knowingly. "Well, if they're Mark's, then I guess you have no desire to watch them. Which is disappointing, because I was thinking that we could watch them and then maybe…act them out ourselves."

"Oh," Derek groaned, shifting her slightly in his lap. "Well, I mean, just because they're Mark's, that doesn't mean that I won't watch them. If that's what you want."

"Good," Meredith smiled, kissing him gently before she pulled back and stood, dragging him to his feet. "It's almost New Year," she whispered, pressing her body close to his.

"It will be a great year," Derek whispered.

Meredith smiled as she looked up into his eyes, her fingers playing with the curls at the nape of his neck as the room began to count down to midnight.

"I love you," Derek breathed, as soon as the countdown hit one, and he pressed his lips against hers in a firm, passionate kiss.

"Derek," she moaned against his mouth, tightening her arms around his neck as she opened her mouth, his tongue immediately seeking her own, gently caressing the inside of her mouth. "I love you too."

They kissed softly for a few minutes, long after the rest of the room had resumed to partying, and when they finally pulled back for air, Meredith grinned up at him. "Happy New Year," she whispered.

"Happy New Year," Derek replied, leaning his forehead against hers.

"Can we go home now?" she whispered, her breath hot against his mouth.

"You don't want to stay?" Derek frowned.

"We could stay," Meredith nodded slowly. "But I was thinking…if we go home now…I want to make love to you, Derek."

"Oh," he groaned, nodding as he grabbed her hand. "We can go home."

"That's what I thought," Meredith giggled as she followed him towards the door. "Derek?"

"Hmmm?"

"Thank you," she whispered. "For a good start to the New Year."

He smiled softly as he squeezed her hand. "My pleasure," he said softly. "Now come on."

Meredith giggled as they ran through the snow out to his car. Maybe this year really would turn out to be one of the best ever.


	17. Chapter 17

Derek smiled as he propped himself up on his elbow, looking down at Meredith as she slept soundly beside him. They had spent the past day and a half together in her bed, and now she was dozing quietly beside him as the rare winter sunshine streamed through the blinds and landed on her face. He couldn't believe how adorable she was as she slept, curled tightly around him, and he was pretty sure that he could watch her sleep forever and never get bored.

"You're staring at me," she murmured, her eyes still closed.

Derek smiled as he leaned over to lace his fingers through his. "You're cute," he said.

"You're weird," Meredith sighed as she rolled closer to him.

"I'm not weird," Derek laughed. "What else am I supposed to do while you sleep?"

Meredith giggled as she rolled on top of him. "You could make me food," she said.

"You're hungry?" Derek laughed.

"We never actually ate breakfast," Meredith pointed out.

Derek laughed as he held her closely. "I believe that you're the one that initiated the sex on the kitchen table," he said.

"It's a good thing I hid those condoms in the cookie jar," Meredith giggled. "But now I'm hungry."

"Okay," Derek smiled. "Anything in particular?"

"Something quick," Meredith murmured, burying her face in his pillow. "Come back soon."

"Alright," Derek smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "I love you."

"Love you too," she whispered.

Derek smiled as he pulled on a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt. He couldn't believe how much he loved being here with her, in her house and feeling like they were really living together. He hated that Meredith was going back to work the next day, and he hated even more that he had to start his last semester of med school the next week. He wasn't sure he was ready to lose this, to have to make plans and work to see Meredith. It was so much easier now, when they didn't have any responsibilities and could just spend all their time together.

A knock on the door made him look up from the stove, and frown. Izzie was still with her mother, and Lexie was out with some friends, but he knew Meredith hadn't been expecting any visitors.

He flicked the stove off and moved into the hallway, frowning when he saw an older woman standing impatiently on the other side of the door. "Can I help you?" he asked as he opened the door.

"Who are you?" the woman asked.

"Excuse me?" Derek asked.

"What are you doing in my house?"

"I'm sorry," Derek frowned. "Your house?"

Before the woman could respond, there were footsteps on the stairs and Meredith's voice asked, "Der, who's at the…oh."

"Now it's all making sense," the woman rolled her eyes as she looked at Derek. "Honestly, Meredith, are you still going through men like normal people go through water?"

"Mom," Meredith sighed, and suddenly it all began to made sense to Derek. "That's not true."

Ellis Grey rolled her eyes as she pushed between the two of them into the hallway. "I'm not interested in hearing about your love life," she said. "I'm in town for a conference, and they've called me in for a consult at the hospital. I thought I'd check in and make sure that my house is still standing, especially with those people you call your roommates."

"They're my friends," Meredith whispered, and Derek frowned as he watched his strong, confident girlfriend transform into a meek girl who could barely even speak above a whisper.

"Who are you?" Ellis asked, focusing on Derek.

"I…" Derek frowned as he glanced at Meredith, reaching for her hand. "I'm Derek Shepherd. It's a wonderful pleasure to meet you, Dr. Grey."

"Derek's my boyfriend, Mom," Meredith said meekly. "He's going to be a surgeon, in the fall."

Ellis looked Derek up and down for a moment before she shook her head. "You won't make it," she said. "You're not strong enough."

"Mom," Meredith frowned. "That's not true."

Ellis rolled her eyes as she reached for her purse. "Honestly, Meredith, just because you live in a happy fantasy world surrounded by children, but there's a real world out there that you really should be aware of." She turned to Derek as she clicked a pen open. "How much do you want?"

"Mom," Meredith said softly, fear filling her voice as she moved closer to Derek.

"What are you saying, exactly?" Derek asked.

"How much do you want," Ellis sighed. "To stay away from my daughter."

Derek frowned as he turned to meet Meredith's eyes, tears and fear filling her eyes. "Dr. Grey," he said, pulling Meredith closer to him. "There is no amount of money that would ever make me leave Meredith. She's my everything, and with all due respect, I'm insulted at the way that you're treating her."

"Oh, for God's sake," Ellis rolled her eyes. "I'm needed at the hospital. Meredith, I expect to see you at the hospital for lunch tomorrow."

"I have to work tomorrow, Mom."

"Nonsense," Ellis rolled her eyes. "You can take some time away from your useless job enough to have a little time with your mother."

"It's not useless," Meredith whispered, but Ellis was already reaching for the door handle.

"Meredith, you need to learn to stop mumbling," Ellis snapped as she opened the door. "You'll be at the hospital at twelve thirty tomorrow, this isn't negotiable."

"Fine," Meredith sighed, turning and moving towards the stairs. Derek frowned as the door slammed behind Ellis before he quickly moved after Meredith.

"Mer," he breathed, entering her room and watching as she walked into the bathroom and began brushing her teeth. "Talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about," Meredith replied around a mouth full of toothpaste as she moved the toothbrush violently in her mouth.

"That woman," Derek breathed, leaning against the door. "Mer, she's awful."

"I know that," Meredith rolled her eyes as she spit into the sink. "Did you not believe everything I told you?"

"I did," Derek nodded. "I just…how did you turn out so amazing being raised by a woman like that?"

"I'm not amazing," Meredith rolled her eyes as she moved past him and reached for her bag. "I have to do some lesson plans, you should just go home."

"Mer, don't," Derek shook his head, moving closer to her. "I know she's horrible, but you can't push me away like this."

"I'm not pushing you away," Meredith rolled her eyes as she reached for her phone. "I have to find someone to cover my class tomorrow during lunch, adjust my lesson plans for a sub."

"It's your first day back at work," Derek pointed out. "Aren't your students going to want to see you?"

"Of course they are," Meredith sighed. "And I hate that I have to leave them, but it's not like I can say no to her."

"Meredith," Derek said, reaching for her hand. "I thought you said you didn't talk to her anymore."

"I don't," she said. "But she calls every once in awhile, maybe when guilt takes over. Since she was in the city, she must have thought that it was necessary to make sure that I haven't burned her house down. It's fine, she wasn't that bad."

"Meredith, she wanted to pay me off so I would leave you," Derek pointed out.

"That's what she does," Meredith shrugged. "And you're…actually the first one that's said no."

"Because I love you," Derek whispered. "But Mer, that doesn't mean that it's okay for her to treat you like this."

"Well, if you're strong enough to stand up to her, then go for it," Meredith sighed. "But I'm not, so I just have to wait until she's gone to be happy again."

"You can't let her have this much power over you," Derek said softly. "Meredith, you're a great person. You're amazing, and you can't just let her completely destroy your life, who you are."

"She's not destroying my life," Meredith said. "Derek, seriously, if you're going to keep talking about this, can you please just go home? I have a lot to do."

"Mer, half an hour ago you were willing to spend the rest of the night eating dinner and having sex," Derek pointed out.

"And now I have to work," Meredith replied. "Can you please just let me work?"

"Fine," Derek sighed, reaching for his jeans. "Mer, I'm not going anywhere. No matter what your mother tries to do to push us apart, I'm not leaving you. I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith whispered. "And I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry," Derek shook his head, leaning down to kiss her softly. "Will you call me later?"

"Of course," Meredith whispered, pressing her lips against his one last time.

"Bye, Mer," Derek sighed as he walked out of her bedroom, slowly making his way down the stairs. He couldn't believe that she let her mother have this much control over her, and he knew that Meredith was probably going to retreat back to the timid girl she'd been when he'd first met her, and he hated that he would have to break through all those barriers again. They'd finally been in a good place, where she could trust him and they could feel completely comfortable together. And now Ellis Grey had completely ruined that.

He just hoped that Meredith was strong enough to stand up to her mother and defend her life more firmly than she had just done downstairs.

XXXXX

"Alright, everyone, Miss Green is going to come in for a couple hours for reading time and lunch time," Meredith sighed as she slid into her coat the next morning. "And she's going to give me a report when she gets back, so you better all be on your best behavior, alright?"

"Where are you going, Miss Grey?" Meg asked.

"I have to have lunch with my mommy," Meredith sighed. "So you should just be on your best behavior, and at the end of the day maybe I'll have a surprise for all of you, okay?"

"Uncle Derek!" Meg cried, her eyes lighting up as she jumped out of her seat and ran towards the door.

"Meg Scott, no running," Meredith sighed, frowning at Derek as he scooped his niece into his arms.

"Whatcha doing here, Uncle Derek?" Meg giggled, ignoring her teacher's orders.

"I had something to give to my favorite niece," Derek laughed. "It seems that you forgot your lunch at home this morning. Your mom asked me to bring it in."

"Thanks, Uncle Derek," Meg sighed.

"Alright, now I think that you might need to sit down now," Derek said. "Miss Grey," he smiled as he met Meredith's eyes.

"Mr. Shepherd," Meredith rolled her eyes. "If you'll excuse me, I've got somewhere I need to be."

"I'll walk you out," Derek smiled, gesturing for her to walk through the door in front of him.

"Alright everyone, be good," Meredith sighed as she walked through the door. "What the hell are you doing?" she hissed as soon as the door had closed behind them.

"I was bringing Meg her lunch," Derek said.

"I'm not stupid, Derek," she said. "You were trying to be there so you could come with me to the hospital."

"That's not true," Derek sighed. "Meg really did forget her lunch, and Kath was working, so she asked me to bring it over. I'm not exactly okay with my niece starving to death."

"Fine," Meredith sighed. "Now you can go home."

"Meredith, please don't do this," Derek sighed.

"Look, Derek, I just hate doing this," Meredith sighed as she opened the door to her car. "I know you're worried, and I appreciate that, I really do. But there's no reason for you to come with me to suffer through lunch with the vindictive Ellis Grey. I'll call you tonight, okay?"

"Fine," Derek said. "I love you, Mer."

"I love you too," Meredith whispered. "I'm sorry for freaking out."

"I just want to help you, Mer," he murmured.

"I'll tell you everything that happened tonight," Meredith smiled, reaching up to run her fingers through his hair. "Just…let me do this, okay?"

"Okay," Derek nodded. "Good luck."

"Bye, Der," Meredith sighed as she slid into the driver's seat of the car and backed out of her parking spot, leaving Derek standing in the middle of the parking lot as he watched her drive away.

XXXXX

"No, I have plans to meet with Dr. Grey," Meredith rolled her eyes as she stood at the nurse's station.

"I'm sorry, but Dr. Grey has been pulled into an emergency surgery that will last a few hours," the nurse replied.

"She doesn't even work here," Meredith replied. "How could she possibly be called into an emergency surgery?"

"She volunteered for it," the nurse replied.

"Of course she did," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Can you page her?"

"She asked that she not be disturbed," the nurse said.

"Great," Meredith sighed, turning to look at the ceiling. "I took off of work so I could see her and she's the one who blows me off. Typical."

"Is there something that you need?" the nurse asked.

"No," Meredith sighed. "Just…be sure to tell her that her daughter stopped by and she was ready to have lunch with her."

"Of course, Miss Grey," the nurse nodded.

Meredith turned to walk towards the door, her eyes widening before she turned back to the desk and buried her face in her hands. "This can't be happening."

"Miss Grey," the nurse frowned. "Is everything okay?"

"Just…don't say anything," Meredith hissed. "And definitely don't say my name."

"Are you okay?" the nurse asked.

"Meredith?" a man's voice asked from behind her, and she squeezed her eyes closed tightly and willed herself to wake up from a terrible awful dream. "Meredith Grey, is that you?"

Meredith took a deep breath as she rested her head against the counter for another moment. She stood up and turned to look at the man before she asked, "What the hell are you doing here?"


	18. Chapter 18

"Meredith, you look great," he said, stepping towards her.

"Ryan," she said firmly. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"I work here," he smiled. "Why are you here?"

"That's none of your business," Meredith snapped. "I have to go."

"What's wrong?" Ryan asked, frowning as she moved to walk away from him.

"What's wrong?" Meredith asked. "What's wrong is that when we were dating my mother paid you off to leave me. And you took the money right before you got my best friend pregnant. So what's wrong is the fact that I just took time off work to have lunch with my horrible mother who stood me up and now I have to stand here talking to you, the person who completely destroyed my life."

"Meredith," Ryan sighed. "I think about you a lot."

"You have no right to think about me," Meredith snapped.

"I made a mistake," Ryan said softly. "Mer, I should never have taken that money."

"Don't call me Mer," she snapped. "And you're right, you never should have taken the money, but there's no way that you're going to get back together with me. I'm happy now."

"Meredith, can't we even just get a cup of coffee, talk about things?" he asked.

"No!" she said. "I have to get back to work."

"Meredith!" Ellis's voice sounded from down the hall. "You're late."

"Seriously?" Meredith rolled her eyes. "I've been here for half an hour waiting for you to get out of surgery."

"Well, it was useless, patient died only a few minutes in," Ellis said as she tore her scrub cap off. "I see you've reunited with Ryan."

"What?" Meredith asked.

"He's much better suited for you than that model you think you're in love with," Ellis said.

"You have got to be kidding me," Meredith said. "Mom, you paid him off to leave me."

"And now he's successful, determined, focused," Ellis replied. "You can't live off of me forever. And you'll need someone successful with that pitiful salary of yours."

"It's not pitiful," Meredith argued. "And I haven't taken money from you in years. Since you decided to pay people to make me miserable."

"Don't be dramatic," Ellis said. "And you're living in my house."

"Fine," Meredith said. "I'll get my own place."

"You think you'll move in with that boyfriend of yours?" Ellis asked.

"Mom, please just let me live my own life," Meredith said.

"Mer, you should calm down," Ryan murmured, stepping closer to her.

"And you….you don't get to talk to me," Meredith replied.

"I just don't want to see you upset," Ryan said softly.

"How's your baby?" Meredith snapped. "Think about that and try to imagine not hurting me. I have to go."

"Meredith Elizabeth Grey, you come back here right now," Ellis commanded as Meredith stormed towards the elevators.

Meredith ignored her as she moved into the stairwell, storming down the steps. She wasn't sure that she'd ever been this angry, and all she needed was to see Derek and make sure that she wasn't some kind of unlovable person who was meant to be alone for the rest of her life.

When she reached his apartment, she stormed up the stairs and pounded on the door, running past Mark as he opened the door. "Where's Derek?" she demanded.

"In his room," Mark replied. "What gives, Grey?"

Meredith ignored him and hurried towards Derek's room, throwing the door open and launching herself onto the bed where Derek was sprawled, a book in his hands. She pulled the book out of his hands and sliding on top of him, burying her face in his neck. "Derek," she whispered. "Derek."

"Meredith," he frowned, closing his arms around her as he held her tightly. "What's wrong?"

"I can't…Derek," she sobbed, tears falling onto his shirt. "Derek."

"Mer," Derek breathed. "What the hell happened with your mother?"

"She…she wants to set me up with Ryan," Meredith whispered as she pulled back to look into his eyes, wiping her tears from her eyes.

Derek decided to ignore the stab of jealousy that made its way through his heart in favor of comforting Meredith. "Who's Ryan?" he asked.

"The guy I dated in college," Meredith sighed. "Who took my mom's money and got my best friend pregnant. Apparently he's doing his residency at Seattle Grace, and now she wants to set me up with him."

"Mer," Derek breathed. "I'm sorry."

"She said that I can't support myself and I can't live off of her forever," Meredith whispered. "She says that as a teacher I don't make enough to support myself, and she wants me to move out of her house, which means that I have nowhere to live."

"Meredith," Derek breathed. "You shouldn't have had to deal with that."

"I just…she said I was pathetic for dating him," Meredith whispered. "And now, five years later, she seems to think that it's a good idea for me to date him, even though I'm happier than I've ever been with my life."

"You don't have to let her have so much control over your life," he whispered. "We're happy, and there's nothing that can change that."

"Are you sure?" Meredith whispered.

"Positive," Derek nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "And if she really does kick you out of her house, you'll just move in here."

"What?" Meredith asked, her eyes widening as she looked down at him. "You want to move in together?"

"Not if you're not ready," Derek shook his head, mentally kicking himself. "I just thought I'd offer. But if you're not ready, just forget about it."

"I can't…I've got too much to think about right now," Meredith breathed. "Not right now, but maybe…maybe we can talk about it later. Soon. Ish."

"Soonish," Derek nodded. "I won't bring it up again until you do."

"Thank you," she whispered. "I love you, Derek."

"I love you too," Derek whispered. "You'll get through this, Mer. Whatever you need me to do to help you through this, consider it done."

"Thank you," she whispered.

"Are you going back to work?" he murmured.

"I should," she whispered. "But…this feels nice."

"It does," he smiled softly, pulling her close again. "Are you going to be okay?"

"I will," she nodded against his chest. "I'm glad you're here."

"I'm glad you're here too," Derek whispered.

Meredith sighed as she snuggled closer into his side. "Derek?" she whispered.

"Hmmm?" he whispered, running a hand through his hair.

"You'll never take money from my mom, will you?"

"Never," Derek shook his head.

"And you'll never get Izzie pregnant?"

Derek laughed softly. "Meredith, the only person I ever want to get pregnant is you."

Meredith sighed as she moved up to meet his eyes again. "You're not good at the slow thing, are you?" she asked.

"Sorry," Derek smiled as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I'll stop talking."

"Just hold me?" Meredith whispered into his chest.

"I can do that," Derek smiled, tightening his arms around her.

Meredith sighed as she snuggled closer to him, suddenly feeling better. Her mother was still horrible, and she knew that this wasn't over. But in Derek's arms, she knew that everything would be okay. He loved her, and that was all that really mattered in this moment.

XXXXX

Derek sighed as he parked his car, looking up at the hospital in front of him. Meredith would kill him if she knew he was here, but he had to do it. In order for Meredith to really be happy, he had to make sure that her mother understood how amazing Meredith was. Maybe if she was able to see Meredith through his eyes, she would become a little more human and at least support her daughter's happiness.

With a deep breath, he got out of the car and made his way towards the hospital, hoping that Ellis wouldn't be in surgery so he could talk to her right away.

"Excuse me, could you page Dr. Grey for me?" he asked the nurse at the main reception station.

"Do you have an appointment?" the nurse asked.

"No, I'm…her son in law," Derek lied easily. "I need to speak with her."

"Certainly," the nurse nodded, reaching for a phone. Derek tapped his fingers impatiently against the counter for a moment as he waited for Ellis to appear. When he saw her make her way down the stairs, he moved quickly to meet her.

"Dr. Grey," he said, reaching his hand out to her.

"Daren," she frowned. "What are you doing here?"

"It's Derek," he said. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about Meredith."

"I don't have a lot of time," Ellis said, looking down at her watch. "Talk."

"Is there anywhere we can go that's a little more private?" Derek asked.

Ellis rolled her eyes as she reached for a chart. "We'll go to the conference room down the hall," she said as she walked quickly down the hall, reading the chart as she walked.

Derek took a deep breath as he followed her down the hall, settling into the chair across the table from her.

"Alright, what did you need to talk about?" Ellis asked, spreading her paperwork out in front of her on the table. "And make it quick."

"I just think that you should take some time to get to know Meredith," he said softly. "She's a really great person, so full of love and compassion. I know you wanted her to be a doctor, but…she's an amazing teacher. My niece is in her class right now, and she absolutely adores her. And we're happy. She makes me happier than I've ever been before."

"Meredith's dating an uncle of one of her students?" Ellis asked, raising her eyebrows as she finally met his eyes.

Derek swallowed hard, suddenly realizing that that probably hadn't been the best thing to tell her. "It's not like that," he said. "We're in love. I love her. And she's happy, so I just think you should support her. She's doing amazingly well in her life, and she's happy. So maybe you should just take some time to get to know her, without pagers or judgment."

"Look," Ellis sighed, writing something down. "I don't know what you want from me, but this should be enough to cover it."

"Cover what?" Derek asked as he took the accepted piece of paper from her. "A check?" he asked.

"For five thousand dollars," Ellis nodded. "So you can stay away from my daughter now."

"I don't want your money," Derek rolled his eyes. "Dr. Grey, I'm doing this for Meredith. She just wants you to be happy for her. She wants you to know about her life, really know it and not judge it. So please, if you love Meredith, please just give her another chance."

Before Ellis could answer, her pager beeped loudly, and she looked down at it. "I've got to take this," she said. "You should take the check."

Derek frowned as he watched her walk out of the room, unable to believe this woman was responsible for any part of Meredith's life. This cold, robot of a woman was the complete opposite of his loving, compassionate girlfriend, and he now knew that he loved her even more than he had before, knowing what she had grown up with.

He sighed as he stood and walked out of the room, looking down at his feet as he made his way down the hallway. He had to make sure that Meredith didn't completely change into the insecure, lonely woman she'd been when he first met her.

"Excuse me," he murmured as he bumped into someone at a corner.

"No problem," a young doctor, probably only a year or so older than him smiled. "Were you meeting with Dr. Grey."

"Yes," Derek frowned. "You know her?"

"She's the reason I'm here," the doctor smiled. "I met her in college, she helped me through med school back in Boston, then wrote me a recommendation for Grace, the best hospital on the west coast."

"Hmm," Derek nodded.

"She's a great woman," he nodded. "Are you a doctor?"

"I will be," Derek nodded. "Derek Shepherd."

"Ryan Roberts," he said, holding out his hand.

"Ryan," Derek repeated. "Huh."

"So how do you know Dr. Grey?"

"I'm dating her daughter," Derek said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"You're dating Meredith," Ryan nodded. "She's pretty great, isn't she?"

"From what I hear, you didn't think that when you accepted Dr. Grey's money," Derek challenged.

"She told you about that?" Ryan asked.

"She tells me everything," Derek countered. "And she told me what happened yesterday. If you know what's best for you, you should stay away from her."

"Are you threatening me?" Ryan frowned.

"Just stay away from her," Derek said as he tried to move around him.

"What makes you think that it's your place to tell me whether or not I can talk to Meredith?" Ryan frowned.

"Maybe the fact that she's my girlfriend," Derek said. "That I love her more than anything in the world, and when she came home last night more upset than I have ever seen her, I told myself that I'd do everything I could to never let her hurt like that ever again."

"She's a grown woman, she can take care of herself," Ryan argued.

"She is," Derek nodded. "And she can definitely take care of herself. But that doesn't mean that I'm not going to do everything I possibly can to make sure that she never hurts again."

Ryan smiled slightly as he raised his eyebrows. "Does Meredith know that you just had a little pow wow with her mother?" he asked. Derek was silent, and Ryan smirked. "I thought so. Let's see how hurt she is after she finds out that you're meeting with Ellis behind her back."

Derek rolled his eyes. "Think what you want," he said with a frown. "But Meredith and I are stable, and we don't need you causing more drama in our lives. Leave her alone. Or you'll regret it. I'll make sure of that."


	19. Chapter 19

Meredith stormed into her house, throwing her bag onto the ground and tossing her jacket behind her as she stalked into the kitchen. Lexie and Izzie looked up from the table as Meredith headed straight to the cabinet next to the fridge and pulled her bottle of tequila off the shelf.

"Hey Mer," Izzie said hesitantly.

"Hey," Meredith said shortly as she took a pull straight from the bottle.

"Is everything okay?" Lexie asked.

"No," she snapped. "Because my mother, the woman who has wanted me to be miserable for as long as I can remember, is in town. And you know what's happened now that my mother is back in town?"

"You're…miserable and drinking out of a tequila bottle?" Izzie volunteered.

"I get suspended," Meredith snapped. "That's what happens. My mother has never been supportive of me teaching, and she shows up in town, and now I've been suspended from my job."

"You were suspended?" Lexie asked. "Why?"

"I have a meeting with the principle and the superintendent tomorrow morning," Meredith sighed as she collapsed onto a chair beside Lexie. "I'm a good teacher. What could I possibly have done wrong?"

"Do you think your mom paid them off?" Izzie asked.

"I don't know," Meredith sighed. "I think they may have found out about Derek. But it's not against the rules, and Derek's not even Meg's dad. I don't understand why it would be a big deal about that now, after four months."

"Are you going to have to break up with him?" Lexie asked.

"No," Meredith breathed. "I mean…that's the last thing in the world that I want. But I can't be unemployed. Especially after my mom tried to tell me that I need to marry Ryan because I can't live off of her forever. And that teaching won't let me provide for myself."

Izzie and Lexie stared at her for a long moment. "I can't even imagine you without Derek anymore," Izzie said softly. "Meredith, you deserve to be happy. You can't break up with Derek."

"I don't want to," Meredith whispered. "I really don't want to. But…how am I supposed to choose between being with the man I love and having a job and…money?"

Before either one of them could reply, the front door opened, and Derek appeared in the kitchen. "Hey guys," he said, planting a kiss to the top of Meredith's head as he moved towards the fridge and pulled out a beer. "What's going on?"

"I um…I need to go study," Lexie said, grabbing a textbook and walking out of the kitchen.

"I'll…help you!" Izzie nodded, following her quickly.

Derek frowned as he watched them scurry out of the room, turning to Meredith and taking in the bottle of tequila that sat in front of her. "Mer, what's going on? Is everything okay?" he asked.

She sighed as she turned to look at him. "I was suspended from work today," she whispered.

"What?" Derek breathed, feeling his blood run cold. If this was a result of his visit from Ellis, he'd never forgive himself.

"I have a meeting with my bosses tomorrow," Meredith sighed. "They didn't tell me why, but if they somehow found out about us…I think that might be what the problem is."

"Meredith," he said softly. "Are you…you can't lost your job because of me. If that's it, I'll step aside."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "Derek, I love you. And I don't want to break up with you."

"It's January, Mer," he said softly. "No schools are going to be hiring new teachers right now."

"I know," she sighed. "But I don't want to be without you."

"Meredith, I know you," he said, reaching to squeeze her hand. "You love your students. If you can't be helping them, you'll be miserable."

"And I'll be miserable without you," Meredith smiled, leaning forward to kiss him softly. "Let me handle this, Derek. It's my job, I'll take care of it."

"Okay," Derek sighed. "Are you hungry?"

"A little," she sighed, reaching for the tequila.

"I'll make some stir fry," Derek nodded, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

"Did you drop my camera off at the repair shop?" Meredith asked as she turned to look at him.

"Yeah, it should be ready in a couple weeks," Derek nodded, moving to cut some peppers.

"How much was the deposit?" she asked as she reached for her coat.

"I don't remember, the receipt's in the pocket of my jacket," Derek replied.

"Okay," Meredith smiled as she reached for the jacket that hung over the back of the chair beside her. She reached into his pocket and rolled her eyes at the handful of paper scraps she pulled out. "You should really clean out your…" her voice trailed off as she looked down at the piece of paper in her hands.

"Mer?" Derek asked as he looked at her. "Did you find it?"

"What the hell is this?" Meredith asked quietly, placing the rectangular piece of paper on the counter in front of him.

"What…." Derek frowned as his eyes landed on the paper and he felt his heart stop. "Mer, that's not what it looks like."

"Really?" Meredith asked, tears filling her eyes as she stared at him. "Because what it looks like is a check from my mother to you for five thousand dollars. And I know what it's for."

"Meredith," Derek breathed as he set his knife down on the cutting board and moved around the counter island. "Let me explain."

"There's nothing to explain," she said as she backed away from him. "It's perfectly clear that you're going to break up with me as soon as the check clears. Well you know what, I'm going to save you some time."

"That's not what happened," Derek said desperately.

"Okay," Meredith said flatly, crossing her arms over her chest. "What happened?"

Derek inhaled deeply, hoping that he could get himself out of this mess. "I went to the hospital to see your mom," he started.

"Wait a minute," Meredith said. "What the hell were you doing at the hospital?"

"I wanted to talk to her about the way she treats you," Derek replied. "It's not right, Mer."

"Derek, you have no right to do that," Meredith snapped. "So what, you went to see her to tell her how amazing I am, and then you just suddenly ended up with a check for five thousand dollars?"

"No," Derek shook his head. "I told her she should be proud of you, that she should really want to get to know you because you're amazing. And she thought that meant that I was asking for money. I said no, I didn't want to take the check."

"And yet somehow it ended up in your jacket?" Meredith asked loudly.

"I didn't mean to keep it, it just…ended up there," Derek said meekly.

"That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard," Meredith rolled her eyes. She froze for a moment before she asked, "What did you say to her about my job?"

"I said you were amazing teacher, that your students love you," Derek breathed. "Meredith, please."

"Did you say anything about Meg?"

Derek winced, remembering how the only time Ellis had seemed even remotely in the conversation had been the point where he'd mentioned the fact that his niece was in Meredith's class. "I think so," he said softly. "Mer, I'm sorry."

Meredith jerked away from him as he reached out for her. "It's your fault," she said. "I'm going to get fired, and it's your fault. Derek, I can't believe you."

"Meredith, don't you think you're overreacting?" Derek asked.

"Overreacting?" Meredith yelled. "Derek, you were the first person I allowed myself to trust in years. Years, Derek! And you go and do this!"

"I love you," Derek breathed. "Meredith, you know I love you, that I would never hurt you."

"I used to think that," Meredith said, tears filling her eyes. "Derek, you promised me that you'd never take money from my mother!"

"I didn't!" Derek cried, ducking the napkin that Meredith had thrown at his head. "I was never going to cash that check!"

"You were!" Meredith shouted, reaching for the candle that sat in the middle of the table. "Derek, you were only dating me because I'm the daughter of the great Ellis Grey who could pay you off and make sure that you got the best of the medical community. You never loved me!"

"I did!" Derek cried. "I do! I'm not Ryan!"

Meredith froze, a plate clutched tightly in her hands. "How do you know about Ryan?" she asked.

"I…I ran into him in the hospital," Derek breathed. "Mer, please calm down."

"I can't believe this," Meredith shouted, throwing the plate at him and ignoring the crash that followed as it collided with the cabinets behind him. "What is this, some kind of conspiracy against Meredith?"

"Mer, you're being completely unreasonable," Derek breathed, coming closer to her.

"Leave," Meredith commanded, tears filling her eyes as she turned away from him. "I want you gone."

"Meredith," Derek breathed, not knowing what else to say as he took in her completely broken existence in front of him. "Please don't do this."

"Derek, go!" Meredith shouted, turning away from him.

"I…." Derek started, his eyes traveling to Lexie as she appeared in the door to the kitchen.

"Derek," she said softly. "Maybe you should go."

"I can't leave," Derek said, tears filling his own eyes. "I promised I wouldn't."

"She'll calm down," Lexie said. "She just…needs time."

"I…" Derek blinked back tears as he looked at Meredith, wanting nothing more than to pull her into his arms and tell her that everything was going to be okay.

"I'll have her call you later," Lexie said, squeezing his arm. "It'll be okay."

Derek swallowed hard as he walked out of the kitchen, wondering how he could possibly fix this. He wasn't sure that Meredith would ever be able to get over this, but he couldn't imagine his life without her anymore. Her giggle, her smile, her quiet confidence was enough to make his life complete, and he had no idea how he would be able to live without her amazing presence every day.

"Meredith," Lexie said softly as she sat down beside her at the table. "What happened?"

"My mother paid him off," Meredith whispered. "And he told her that his niece is in my class, and I'm positive that that's why I'm going to get fired. So basically, I trusted a guy for the first time in years, I think he's the one I'm going to spend the rest of my life with, and it turns out that he's just like all the others."

Lexie frowned as she looked down at Meredith. "Did you let him explain?" she asked.

"He said it's not his fault," Meredith sighed. "That he wasn't going to take the money."

"Do you actually think that he was going to take the money?" Lexie asked. "Derek loves you a lot. He'd never leave you, no matter how much money he was offered."

"That's what I thought," Meredith said as she reached for her tequila. "I was wrong."

"Why wouldn't he have been telling you the truth when he said he wasn't going to take the money?" Lexie asked.

"If he really wasn't going to take the money, then why would he take the check?" Meredith asked.

"I…" Lexie frowned, seeing her sister's point. "I guess you're right."

"So now I'm never going to date again," Meredith sighed.

"Don't you think that's a little dramatic?" Lexie asked.

Tears filled Meredith's eyes as she looked at her sister. "I really loved him," she whispered. "I thought he was the one."

"I know," Lexie whispered, wrapping a comforting arm around her sister. "It's okay to cry, Mer."

"I loved him," Meredith sobbed, resting her head on her sister's shoulder. "I loved him, Lexie, I really did."

"I know," Lexie said soothingly, running a hand over Meredith's hair. "Let it out, Mere, it's okay."

Meredith sobbed harshly for a few minutes, finally calming after a few minutes as her breaths came out in harsh pants. "Derek," she whispered.

"What are you going to do?" Lexie asked carefully.

"I…I can't trust him," Meredith shook her head. "He's the reason that I'm going to lose my job. If he'd just let me take care of it like I asked him to, I'd still have a job. And he took the check, Lexie. There must have been some part of him that wanted the money if he took the check."

"You're going to break up with him?" Lexie asked.

"I think I already did," Meredith whispered.

"Meredith, you're my sister, and I love you," Lexie said softly. "But if you're really going to end this, you have to talk to him."

"I don't want to see him," Meredith shook her head, standing to make her way towards the door. "I can't."

"You have to," Lexie said softly. "But honestly, Meredith….are you okay with breaking up with him?"

"No," Meredith whispered. "Derek…he was so amazing. But then it turned out that he was just like all the other men out there."

"Derek's different," Lexie said. "Meredith, you have to know that he's completely in love with you."

"He's not," Meredith shook her head. "If he was in love with me, he would have torn up the check in the first place. Actually, he wouldn't have even gone to the hospital after I asked him not to."

Lexie took a deep breath as she took in her sister's broken gaze and tear filled eyes, wondering how she could possibly convince her that breaking up with Derek was probably the worst idea she'd ever had. "Meredith, maybe you should just calm down a little," she said softly. "Take a couple days to think, see what the meeting tomorrow is actually about. Maybe it has nothing to do with Derek."

"You don't get it," Meredith shook her head. "Lexie, you had the perfect parents who want you to be happy and do anything they can to make sure that that happened. But me…my dad left me, he didn't want me. He had you and your perfect family, and he didn't need me and my mother anymore. And my mom seemed to blame me for everything that was wrong with her life, therefore making it her mission to make me completely miserable."

"And it's Derek's mission to make sure you're completely happy," Lexie pointed out softly.

"It doesn't matter," Meredith shook her head. "It's over. I can't do this with him anymore. There's no way I can trust him. It's the same as Ryan."

"He's not the same as Ryan," Lexie said. "You can't just break up with Derek. That's like against the laws of nature or something."

"I can," Meredith nodded, tears filling her eyes. "And I will. I don't exactly have a choice."


	20. Chapter 20

Derek sighed as he walked into his apartment, his head hanging dejectedly as he threw his keys onto the table next to the door. The display on the answering machine glowed with a zero, indicating that Meredith hadn't called. He wasn't sure exactly what had happened a couple hours before at her house, but after drowning his sorrows at the bar down the road, he'd decided that he just wanted to go home and pray that this was all just a terrible dream.

"You look like shit," Mark announced as he walked into the kitchen.

"Feel like it too," Derek sighed.

"What happened?" Mark frowned.

"I think Meredith broke up with me," Derek sighed, reaching for another beer from the fridge.

"What?" Mark asked. "What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Derek shook his head as he made knocked back nearly half of his beer at once.

A knock on the door prevented Mark from asking any more questions, and Derek sighed as he moved towards the door. "Mer," he breathed as he saw her standing before him. "I…you're here."

"I just wanted to make sure that we both know where we are," she said softly.

"Mer, I didn't…I don't want to break up with you," he said desperately.

"Look, I don't want to do this again," she said. "I just…needed a little more closure, so…here."

Derek frowned as she picked a box up off the ground beside her and handed it to him. "What is this?" he asked, taking the box hesitantly.

"It's your stuff," she said, swallowing hard. "I didn't…there were a lot of reminders of you all over my room, so please, just take it back."

"Meredith," he whispered, dropping the box to the side and pulling on her hand. "Please, let's talk about this. Let's not do this, I need you."

"I can't," she whispered. "Derek, you promised that you would never hurt me."

"I didn't mean to," he said. "Please just don't do this. We can figure this out."

"I can't," Meredith whispered. "Derek, don't make this harder than it is."

"I'm not letting you go this easily," Derek shook his head. "Meredith, I can't imagine my life without you."

"You should have thought about that before you went back on all the promises you ever made me," she said. "So…this is it."

"This can't be it," Derek pleaded, his hands moving to grasp hers tightly. "Meredith, please."

"Derek," she whispered, tears filling her eyes as she pried her hands out of his. "It's over, there's nothing you can do to change it."

"There has to be something," he whispered, tears spilling over his eyes. "This can't just be it, Meredith, I'm supposed to spend the rest of my life with you."

"No," she shook her head. "I can't, Derek, you've completely destroyed all the trust I had in you."

"But I love you," he said. "Meredith, I love you, I'll do anything to make this up to you. Just name it, and it's done."

"I just need to move on," Meredith breathed. "I tried to make things work with you, but it didn't work. Let it go."

"I won't let it go," Derek shook his head. "Meredith, if you're not ready for this, I'll wait for you. But I'll never let this go, it's too precious."

Meredith turned away, hoping to hide her tears from him. "I have to go," she said softly. "I don't…just keep anything I left here. Because it's too hard, and I think it's just best if we didn't see each other again. So…good-bye, Derek."

"Meredith, please," Derek pleaded, following her to the door.

"Derek," she said. "No."

With those two simple words, she was gone, out of his apartment and out of his life, just as quickly as she'd come into it. Derek stood in the middle of his apartment, tears filling his eyes as he realized that she was really gone, that his life really had been destroyed in one moment.

"Shit, Shep," Mark said from behind him. "I'm sorry."

Derek didn't reply as he moved towards the box that he'd tossed aside, sinking onto the couch as he pulled the lid off the top of it. He first pulled out his Bowdoin T-shirt, the one that Meredith had loved to sleep in ever since the first night he'd spent at her house. He held it up to his face, inhaling the soft smell of lavender that he loved so much, the smell that was uniquely Meredith as he tried to hold his tears back. He wasn't sure he was strong enough to do this right now, but he couldn't seem to bring himself to stop going through the things that Meredith had left for him.

Next he pulled out a framed picture that had rested on her side of the bed. The two of them in the park a couple weeks ago, when he'd dragged her out to get a Christmas tree. His arms were wrapped around her shoulders, and she was smiling widely as her head turned to meet his, her eyes sparkling widely. They hadn't been dating long enough to really get a lot of pictures, but this one had been his favorite. He'd brought it home to her in a frame one night, and she'd rolled her eyes but placed it proudly beside her side of the bed where it would be the first thing she saw every morning.

His eyes filled with tears as he dug through various other items that he'd left at her house. His razor, a coffee mug, some pajama pants and medical journals. He frowned as he pulled an envelope out of the bottom of the box, feeling his stomach clench as he opened the envelope, pulling out the tickets to Europe he'd given her for Christmas.

He threw them back into the box and collapsed against the couch, pushing his fists into his eyes in a weak attempt to help stop the tears from coming. Meredith was gone, she had completely erased him from her life, and he hated the thought of forgetting everything they'd had.

He knew he should never have taken the check, he wasn't even sure how it had ended up in his pocket. But now all he could do try to figure out a way to live without Meredith Grey, without her quiet strength helping him to be a better person. The thought killed him, but she wanted to end things, and he'd promised he'd do anything he could to make her happy. It was the last thing in the world he wanted, but if that's what she wanted to make herself happy, he'd do it. Because he loved her that much.

XXXXX

"What happened?" Lexie asked as Meredith slid into the passenger side of her car.

"It's over," Meredith said flatly. "Can we just…I just want to go home."

Lexie sighed as she put the car into park, maneuvering the way back towards their house. Meredith sat quietly in the passenger seat, an occasional sob wracking through her body as she thought about all that she had just given up.

"You know, I don't think Derek's ever going to move on from this," Lexie said. "I don't know him that well, but…he's crazy about you."

"Lexie," Meredith breathed. "Don't. Please, just don't."

"Fine," Lexie sighed as she pulled into the driveway of their house. "We're home."

Meredith was silent as she slammed the car door shut, moving towards the house as she tried to ignore the tears that were streaming down her face. She was single again. Not that she ever really minded being single, but after Derek…she wasn't sure that she would ever be able to move on again.

She curled into herself as she wrapped herself under the blankets of her bed, the blankets that still smelled of Derek. A combination of his cologne and the musky scent of…him made her want to cry for the rest of her life.

Derek was gone. She'd made sure to erase every part of him from her life, but there was no way that she would ever be able to forget him. She hated that he'd done this to her, and she wasn't sure how he had managed to fool her into thinking that he was different. But she'd hoped that he really was different, that he really did love her for her, not her mother's money.

But now she had to explain why she shouldn't be fired, why she should maintain her job because she was good at what she did. And what would be harder than that would be the way she'd have to forget the way she'd ever felt for Derek.

It was probably the hardest thing she'd ever have to do. But she'd do it. Because now that she knew what real happiness was, she knew that she could get there eventually. She just had to figure out a way to get there without Derek.

XXXXX

"Miss Grey," her principle nodded to her as she entered his office the next morning.

"Mrs. Miller," she nodded softly.

"We're just waiting on Mr. Potter," Mrs. Miller said, referring to the superintendent.

"Alright," Meredith whispered softly.

"Meredith," Mrs. Miller sighed, moving around her desk to sit down in the chair beside her. "You know I hate that to do this."

"I know, Ava," she said softly. "But it's okay. I understand."

"Meredith?" Ava frowned. "Are you okay?"

"No…yes," Meredith sighed, trying to ignore the exhaustion she felt at the long sleepless night she'd endured the night before, missing the feeling of Derek beside her. "I'll be fine."

Ava frowned for a moment, but looked up when there was a knock at the door. "Mr. Potter, come in," she said as she stood and made her way back to her desk.

"Mrs. Miller," Mr. Potter smiled politely. "Miss Grey."

"Mr. Potter," Meredith murmured.

"You know that this is hard to do," Mr. Potter said as he sat down beside her. "But we received a call yesterday afternoon that concerned us somewhat."

"From my mother," Meredith sighed.

"Yes," Mr. Potter nodded. "I'm aware that this is a particularly uncomfortable conversation to have, but she informed us that you are maintaining a sexual relationship with the uncle of one of your students."

Tears pricked Meredith's eyes, and she looked down at her hands, willing herself not to cry. Not now. "That's no longer a problem, sir," she said softly.

Mr. Potter raised his eyebrows in surprise, but continued to speak. "You're one of the most popular teachers at this school, Meredith," he said softly. "It's only your second year, but parents are already raving about you and requesting their kindergarteners be placed in your class."

Meredith couldn't help but smile at the thought that she was at least loved by her students. "I'm very grateful for everything this school has done for me," she said. "I love my job, I really do."

"Meredith," Ava interrupted, leaning across her desk. "We're not going to fire you. It's not against the rules, but…we have to ensure that none of your students are getting any attention different than the rest of the class."

"I've been careful not to let that happen," Meredith nodded. "But like I said, there's no longer an issue."

Ava eyed Meredith closely, recognizing the dull ache in the younger woman's eyes. She had very obviously just broken up with her boyfriend. "Your personal life is your business," she said softly. "But you also have to make sure not to ignore any students with whose family you've had difficulty with."

"I won't," Meredith said. "Meg's one of the smartest students in my class, she deserves the best education she can get. And I won't let my…personal flaws get in the way of that."

"Alright then," Mr. Potter nodded. "I'm glad that we were able to come to a conclusion. Miss Grey, I may be popping in to monitor your class throughout the remainder of the school year, but your job is safe."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered.

Mr. Potter nodded to the woman as he stood and walked quickly out of the room. Meredith stood and moved to leave as well, but Ava was quick to take her hand. "Meredith," she breathed. "Are you really okay?"

"Fine," Meredith said automatically.

"You broke up with him," Ava stated.

"It's complicated," Meredith whispered. "But yes, it's over."

"You're still in love with him," Ava said. "I can see it in your eyes."

"I…look, no offense, but this is really none of your business," Meredith whispered. "I'm fine."

"Alright," Ava sighed. "Look, I know how hard it can be to deal with things like this. If you need anything, please let me know."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered. "I'll…I need to get to my classroom before students start arriving."

"Of course," Ava nodded. "I'm sorry, Meredith."

"Thank you," Meredith repeated before she turned and walked out of the office, back to her classroom.

"Miss Grey!" Madeline giggled as she led the line into the classroom only moments after she'd arrived herself.

"Good morning, Madeline," Meredith managed to smile as she looked down at the girl in front of her. "Great job being line leader."

"Thanks Miss Grey," Madeline giggled.

Meredith sighed as she collapsed into her seat, watching her students file in before them, trying to hold back the tears that filled her eyes as she laid eyes on Meg, the spitting image of her uncle. From her curly black hair to her bright blue eyes and flashing smile, Meg Scott could easily be mistaken for Derek's daughter. Meredith swallowed hard as she realized how much she may have underestimated the pain of seeing Derek's look alike every day at school. As much as it pained her to have a constant reminded of the raw wound that he had caused in her heart, she knew she had to make sure that she didn't treat Meg any differently. Her job depended on it.

XXXXX

"Okay, Shep, it's been a week," Mark frowned as he walked into Derek's room, kicking beer cans to the side as he yanked the covers off of his best friend. "You've got to stop wallowing."

"I'm not wallowing," Derek rolled his eyes, reaching for the nearest beer can and taking a long swig.

"Look, I get that you're all upset about Grey," Mark said. "But if you're going to get drunk all day, let's at least do it at a strip club."

"I don't want to go to a strip club," Derek murmured.

"Well I do," Mark said. "And you have to come with me. You remember what happened last time I was drunk at a strip club."

"Just stay off the stage, you'll be fine," Derek replied, flopping onto his side, his back to Mark.

Mark sighed as he stared down at his friend. "I've never seen you this miserable," he said.

"Probably because I've never felt this miserable."

Mark was silent for a moment before he sat down on the end of the bed, looking down at Derek. "Look, Shep," he sighed. "I know you really liked this chick, but you've been pouting in bed for over a week. We go back to school the day after tomorrow. You've got to pull yourself together."

"I know that," Derek snapped. "Right now, I'm just trying to figure out how to breathe without Meredith."

Mark sighed as he looked down at his best friend. "Do you want to call her?" he asked.

"Tried," Derek sighed. "Lexie says she refuses to talk to me."

"You want me to try?" Mark grinned. "You know the ladies can't resist Mark Sloan."

Derek sighed as he rolled onto his back, looking up at his best friend. "I just need to get used to the pain," he said.

"Pain?" Mark frowned.

"It won't stop hurting," Derek shook his head. "She's not coming back."


	21. Chapter 21

"What is she doing?" Lexie asked to Izzie as they stood in the doorway to the living room, watching Meredith as she tried to untangle a long strand of yarn from around her hands.

"I think she's trying to untangle that," Izzie whispered.

"I know that," Lexie rolled her eyes. "But why?"

"It looks like she's trying to knit," Izzie said, looking at the messy, uneven knitted square that Meredith was quickly unraveling.

"Meredith doesn't knit," Lexie frowned.

"Maybe it's some kind of weird break up thing," Izzie suggested.

"It's been a month," Lexie sighed. "And she's still not over Derek."

"She's getting there," Izzie nodded. "I saw her checking out a guy in the grocery store the other day."

"It's so sad," Lexie said. "They were supposed to be together forever."

"Stupid string," Meredith frowned as she finally untangled the knots. She reached for her needles again, smiling as she saw her friends standing in the doorway. "Hey guys. What's going on?"

"Nothing," Izzie said as they stepped into the room. "What are you doing?"

"Knitting," Meredith nodded. "Because I'm celibate."

"Celibate?" Lexie asked.

"Because men are stupid," Meredith said. "I swore after Derek I'd never be with anyone else ever again, but now…"

"Now what?" Izzie asked.

"Now I'm starting to think that other men are attractive again," Meredith sighed.

"Some people would call that moving on," Lexie pointed out.

"Well, I don't want to move on," Meredith shrugged. "So I'm knitting, because this way nothing seems porny in my head."

Izzie frowned. "Meredith," she said softly. "Do you think this has anything to do with Derek?"

"No," Meredith shook her head quickly. "Derek's…he's an ass, just like the rest of them, and I'm not letting him control any more of my life."

"Okay," Lexie said softly. "I um…do you want me to teach you how to knit?"

"You know how to knit?" Meredith asked.

"I learned when I had mono," Lexie giggled as she reached for the needles. "I made my mom a lot of potholders."

"Well, thank God, you know how to do it," Meredith sighed, leaning her head against Izzie's shoulder. "I don't know what I would do without you guys. You've been amazing."

"We're here for you, Mer," Izzie said. "We love you."

Meredith smiled sadly as she reached out to begin rolling the other end of the yarn into a ball. "At least I have you," she sighed.

XXXXX

"Alright everyone, I have a surprise for you," Meredith smiled to her class a couple days later. "Look what I've made for the reading corner."

Her students all looked up at her with eager eyes as she reached behind her desk and pulled out a light blue knitted blanket. "I made this over the weekend," she said. "I know some of you get cold when you're reading, so now when you're on the bean bag chairs, you can have something to keep you warm."

Her class all inhaled sharply, admiring the blanket. "I'm glad you like it," she giggled. "Now, I'm going to put it over there while you're all at recess, but if there's any arguing, it's going to go back to my house, okay?"

There was a chorus of nods, and Meredith giggled slightly. "Okay, let's get our coats on for recess," she said, causing a scurry of activity as her students moved towards their backpacks, grabbing coats and mittens and scarves before running outside to the playground.

When her classroom was empty, Meredith collapsed onto the chair behind her desk, reaching for her knitting needles. Once she'd gotten the hang of it, she'd become pretty good at knitting, and it was a good way to keep her mind of certain people who were still able to plague her mind even after weeks of not speaking.

"Excuse me," there was a knock on her door, causing her to look up and swallow hard as she laid eyes on a tall, blonde man smiling softly at her. "Are you Meredith Grey?"

"Yes," she swallowed hard.

"Good," he nodded, stepping closer and offering her his hand. "I'm Andrew Johnson. I just started as a long term sub for Katie Meyers, she had her baby last night."

"Oh," Meredith nodded, standing to shake his hand. "Right, of course. It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Andrew nodded.

"Wow, you don't see very many men in early childhood," Meredith smiled.

"Yeah, I'm kind of all by myself," Andrew laughed. "Most people think it's weird, but… I love it. I just graduated and have yet to land a permanent job, but…it's fun."

"I think it's refreshing," Meredith smiled warmly.

Andrew smiled back at her for a long moment before he cleared his throat. "You know, I'm um…I'm new to Seattle," he said. "So maybe sometime…we could get together for coffee or something and you could tell me all the insider tips about living in the city."

Meredith swallowed hard, knowing that this was a big moment. She hadn't ever been sure that she would want to date again, but now…now she could see herself really liking Andrew Johnson. "I'd like that," she said.

"Good," Andrew nodded.

"If you want…I mean if you don't have plans, maybe we can grab something after work? I know it's Friday, but I just thought…" Meredith trailed off, suddenly remembering why she hated dating.

"That would be wonderful," Andrew nodded, pushing himself off the wall. "I'll meet you in front after dismissal?"

"Perfect," Meredith smiled, suddenly feeling a lot better about herself.

XXXXX

"So you come here a lot?" Andrew asked as he sat down across from Meredith in a small, quirky coffee shop on the harbor.

"It's my favorite," she smiled. "So I suppose this can be your first stop in learning the city."

"I like it," Andrew nodded.

"So…where did you move here from?"

"D.C.," Andrew replied. "One Washington to another."

Meredith smiled as she sipped her coffee. "I love DC," she nodded. "It's a fun city."

"I don't know," Andrew smiled. "Seattle's growing on me. But that may have something to do with my tour guide."

Meredith blushed slightly as she looked down into her cup of coffee. She could definitely get used to feeling like this.

"Meredith?" a voice asked from across the room, and she looked up automatically, her face paling.

"Liz," Meredith said, wishing she could disappear. She stood and smiled awkwardly at Derek's sister, knowing that this was bad, very very bad.

"Hi," Liz smiled, leaning forward to hug Meredith awkwardly. "Um…how are you?"

"I'm good," Meredith smiled. "You know how it is."

"Yeah," Liz nodded, her eyes flickering to Andrew for a moment before she turned back to Meredith, an obviously forced smile on her face.

"I um…this is Andrew," Meredith said. "He just started working in my unit. Andrew, this is Liz. She's…."

"We're old friend," Liz supplied, holding her hand out.

"Nice to meet you, Liz," Andrew smiled.

"Hmmm," Liz nodded, and Meredith took a deep breath, willing this awkward situation to be over. She wondered briefly if she should ask about Derek, but quickly decided against it, knowing that would just lead to more drama than she could handle in one coffee date.

"Okay, well, look, I've got to run," Liz said. "I'm meeting D….a friend, but I had to get my coffee fix. It was good seeing you, Meredith."

"You too," Meredith whispered. "I um…tell everyone hi for me."

"I will," Liz smiled. "Bye Meredith."

"Bye," Meredith breathed sliding back into her seat and resting her head in her hand for a moment.

"You okay?" Andrew asked, his deep brown eyes showing obvious concern.

"Fine," Meredith nodded. "Just…blast from the past."

"Ah," Andrew nodded.

Meredith took a deep breath and shook her head before she smiled at Andrew. "So, where did you go to college?" she asked.

XXXXX

"Thanks again for dinner," Meredith smiled as she and Andrew walked up the pathway to her house later that night. "You really didn't have to pay though."

"I wanted to," he smiled.

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Well…thanks."

"You're welcome," Andrew nodded, his eyes glazing over slightly as he leaned closer to her.

"I um…I guess I'll see you on Monday," Meredith said awkwardly, reaching for the door handle. As much as she was able to picture herself having some fun with Andrew, she wasn't really to go all in yet.

"Oh," Andrew nodded. "Good night."

"Good night," Meredith smiled as she stepped into her house.

As soon as the door was closed, she turned and jumped, finding herself face to face with Lexie and Izzie's curious faces. "Do you two ever do anything besides pry into my love life?" she asked.

"Who is he?" Izzie asked.

"Were you on a date?" Lexie asked.

"What about the knitting?"

"What about Derek?"

Meredith rolled her eyes as she pushed her way past them towards the kitchen. "His name is Andrew, he's a teacher at my school. It wasn't a date, it was a coffee thing that turned into a dinner thing. He has nothing to do with my knitting, and certainly nothing to do with Derek."

Lexie glanced at Izzie for a moment before she asked, "Coffee thing?"

"He's new to the city, he just wanted to see some of the sights," Meredith shrugged as she opened a bottle of wine.

"Do you like him?" Izzie asked.

"I…I could like him," Meredith nodded. "I'm just trying not to move too fast. Because every time I try to date someone, I get burned."

"Well, tell us about him," Lexie said.

"He's really sweet," Meredith smiled. "He took me out to dinner after coffee, and it was…nice."

"Nice," Izzie repeated.

"I like him," Meredith nodded. "But I'm not sure I like him enough."

"How do you know?" Lexie asked.

"I just…Derek obviously wasn't the person for me," Meredith said. "He was a complete ass, but at first…it was good. I knew that there was something right away, and with Andrew…I just don't feel it."

"But maybe that's a good thing," Izzie pointed out. "If you don't feel for Andrew the same way you felt for Derek, maybe things will end differently. Better."

"I guess," Meredith sighed. "But…I ran into Liz. At the coffee house."

"Liz Shepherd?" Lexie asked. "Derek's sister Liz?"

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "It was completely awkward and weird, but it really made me think, you know?"

"Did she know you were on a date?" Izzie asked.

"I…I guess so," Meredith sighed. "Which means she'll tell Derek."

"Is that a problem?" Lexie asked. "I mean, you two live in the same city, obviously he's going to find out about your life sooner or later."

"I know," Meredith nodded. "I just didn't really think about it. His family was so good to me, and I just…I wish I could still see them. Just not Derek."

"That's not really possible, Mer," Izzie said. "They're his family."

"I know," she sighed. "I just…it's weird to think about moving on. But I'm going to. With Andrew. And he's never going to meet my mother."

Lexie smiled as she reached out to pour more wine into her glass. "I'm happy for you, Mer," she said.

"Thanks," Meredith sighed. "I've had a long day, so I'm going to crash. But I'll see you guys in the morning."

"Night Mer," Izzie smiled.

"Sweet dreams," Lexie called after her.

Meredith sighed as she collapsed into her bed, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment before she moved to open the drawer to the nightstand on the opposite side of the bed. She looked down at the small picture of her and Derek that rested there, her mind replaying the emotions she'd felt after her first date with him She'd been excited then, ready to jump into a new relationship, as scary as it might have been. But now, with Andrew, she wasn't feeling that same excitement. She felt relief, hope that at the fact that maybe she wouldn't be alone forever.

"Derek," she sighed. "Why couldn't you have been the real thing?"

She moved towards her dresser, opening the third drawer down to reveal a single worn T-shirt, one that hadn't been worn in over a month. Now, suddenly needing it, Meredith stripped her clothes and slid the light blue button down over her shoulders, buttoning it carefully before she curled back under the covers.

She wondered briefly how he was doing. She'd been so tempted to ask Liz how his clinicals were going, whether he had been able to move on from their break up the way she had. Whether he was seeing anyone. Like she might be.

"I miss you," she whispered as she buried her face in the pillow that had long since stopped smelling like him. His smell still lingered on the shirt she was wearing and she wrapped her arms tightly around herself, squeezing her eyes closed. Right now, with his shirt held tightly against her skin, it was easy to pretend that Derek was holding her, that she could finally get a good night's sleep in his arms again.

Finally allowing herself to feel the pain of life without Derek, Meredith clutched the sheets tightly around her as she sobbed quietly, trying to pretend that maybe, just maybe, Derek wasn't as bad as she knew he really was. Maybe he would come back to her and prove that he wasn't a complete ass.


	22. Chapter 22

"Derek," Emma smiled as her son walked into her kitchen, his eyes red and his hair a mess. "How are you, dear?"

"I'm alright," he sighed, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "Hi, Dad."

"Derek," Michael smiled, clapping his son on the back. "You hanging in there?"

"Trying to," Derek sighed.

Michael glanced at Emma for a moment before he wrapped an arm around his son. "What do you think about turning the game on?" he asked. "Rangers are set to win."

"Sure," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair as he followed his father into the living room.

Emma frowned as she moved closer to the cutting board, reaching for her knife and an onion. Her son definitely hadn't been himself since he'd broken up with Meredith, and now she was starting to worry. It had been over a month, and now she was starting to worry that he wasn't even recovering in the slightest. She could see that his grades were slipping in school, which only made her worry even more since his medical boards were coming up.

"Mom, thank God you're here," Liz breathed as she burst into the kitchen, the door slamming behind her.

"Liz, what's wrong?" Emma asked, putting her knife down and turning her full attention to her daughter.

"I just saw Meredith," Liz breathed, tossing her bag on the ground and putting a cup of coffee on the counter.

"Oh dear," Emma sighed. "She was such a sweet girl, I hope she's doing better than Derek."

"Oh, she is," Liz nodded. "She was on a date."

"A date?" Emma frowned.

"Completely flirty and giggly," Liz nodded. "He looked like a real tool if you ask me."

"I don't understand," Emma frowned. "Derek's barely standing."

"I know," Liz said. "I still don't completely understand what happened between them, but now…should I tell him?"

"Oh," Emma sighed. "I…I'm really not sure dear."

Liz rolled her eyes as she collapsed onto a stool. "You're supposed to know these things," she sighed.

"What things?" Kathleen asked as she walked into the kitchen, pausing to kiss Emma's cheek. "Hi Mom."

"Meredith's dating," Liz said. "Should I tell Derek?"

"She's dating?" Kathleen frowned. "That's weird."

"I know," Liz nodded. "But I don't know whether it would the right thing to do to tell Derek, or if it would just be plain cruel."

"No, it's weird because according to Meg, Miss Grey's been completely sad and knitting a lot," Kathleen said. "Her words, not mine."

"It's really none of our business," Emma said. "As much as we might want to protect Derek, it's his life. He should find out that Meredith's dating on his own."

"Meredith's dating?" Derek's meek voice came from the doorway, and all three women turned to look at him, a broken expression on his face.

"Derek, dear," Emma sighed, but Liz pushed in front of her to look up at Derek.

"Derbear," she sighed. "I just got back from the coffee house by the docks. Meredith was in there, with a teacher from work. He was…really gorgeous."

"Oh," Derek nodded, looking down at his feet. "I…okay."

"I'm sorry," Liz whispered. "I wasn't sure I should tell you, but…I guess you know now."

"Thanks," Derek nodded, kissing her cheek quickly. "I'm glad I know."

"Derek," Liz sighed as she watched him moved back to their mother.

"Mom, I'm not feeling great," he said. "Can I take a rain check on dinner?"

"Oh, sweetheart," Emma sighed, reaching out to stroke his cheek. "I know this is hard, but you should try to move on. She clearly is."

"I know," Derek nodded, dark sadness taking over his eyes. "I just…just tonight. I'll get better soon. I promise."

"Alright," Emma sighed, reaching up to kiss his cheek. "Tell your father."

"Thanks," Derek smiled faintly before he grabbed his car keys off the counter and made his way back into the living room.

"What's wrong with Derek?" Caitlin asked as she passed by him on her way into the kitchen.

"I just saw Meredith on a date," Liz sighed.

"You told him?" Caitlin asked.

"Well…he kind of just heard us talking," Kathleen defended. "He's a mess, and I don't actually think knowing about that will make this any better."

Emma stared after her son for a moment, surprised when her husband poked her head into the kitchen. "Em, I'm going to take Derek home," he said.

"Alright," Emma nodded.

"You don't need to take me home," Derek rolled his eyes, holding his hand out to his father. "I'm fine to drive."

"Derek, you shouldn't have even driven over here," Michael argued, wrapping an arm over his son's shoulders. "You should just be grateful no one yelled at you for coming over here drunk."

"M not drunk," Derek mumbled as he followed his father out the door.

"Does anyone actually know what happened?" Liz frowned as the door closed behind the two of them.

"Something to do with Meredith's mother, I believe," Emma sighed.

"She gave him a check," Kathleen added. "To leave Meredith."

"And he took it?" Caitlin frowned.

"No," Kathleen shook her head. "Well, he didn't mean to, but I guess he just shoved it in his pocket or something, and Meredith found it."

"But that's not his fault," Liz said.

"Apparently it's not the first time this has happened," Kathleen said. "Ellis has paid off every single one of Meredith's boyfriends, and when she found the check she thought Derek was just another one who was after the money."

"That poor girl," Emma sighed. "I'm glad she seems to be doing alright."

"Mom," Kathleen frowned.

"What?" Emma asked.

"She destroyed Derek," Kathleen said. "How could you possibly be thinking about her when Derek's been drunk for a month?"

"Of course I'm worried about Derek," Emma rolled her eyes. "But they'll work things out."

Liz frowned as she exchanged a glance with her sisters. Maybe her mother had finally lost it. "Mom, they broke up," she said. "Meredith's seeing someone else."

"I know," Emma nodded. "But I have faith. After all, your father had to propose to me three times before I said yes. They'll work this out. Faith, girls, just have faith."

XXXXX

"Alright, Derek," Michael sighed as he watched his son collapse on the couch in his apartment. "I love you, but I'm worried about you."

"I'm fine," Derek murmured, popping another beer open.

"You are not drinking that," Michael said, pulling the beer out of his hands. "And I'm taking the rest of the alcohol in here. If you're not careful, I'll take your ID too."

"I'm not a child, Dad," Derek sighed.

"Then you might want to start acting like an adult," Michael said, sitting down on the coffee table, resting his elbows on his knees as he leaned towards his son. "What's going on, Derek?"

"I miss her," Derek whispered. "She refuses to talk to me, and now…now she's dating someone else. I can barely breathe, and she's moving on."

"Derek," Michael sighed. "You had to know that was going to happen eventually. The two of you broke up, you couldn't have expected her to be by herself forever."

"It just feels so final now," Derek whispered, staring at the ceiling. "Before…I could pretend that maybe she was just as miserable as I was, that one day she would finally answer when I called. But now that she's dating someone else, it's so final."

"Maybe you should talk to her," Michael suggested. "Get some closure."

"I think I have all the closure I need," Derek sighed. "I just wish I didn't have to get closure at all."

Michael sighed as he reached out to clap his son on the shoulder. "Is there anything you need?" he asked.

"No," Derek sighed. "I just have to start living again."

"You do," Michael nodded. "You're a strong man, Derek, you can do this."

"Yeah," Derek nodded. "I can."

Michael leaned forward to kiss the top of Derek's head. "We're here for you, Derek," he said. "If you need us, we're here."

"I know," Derek nodded. "Thanks."

He stared at the ceiling as Michael quietly left the apartment, leaving Derek alone with his thoughts. He could do this. He could learn to live without Meredith.

XXXXX

"Hi Kath," Derek sighed into the phone a week later, looking down at his textbook. "What's up?"

"Derek," Kathleen sighed, breathless. "I hate to do this, I really really do."

"Do what?" Derek looked up, his heart suddenly pounding.

"I know you've been having a hard time with everything, and I'm glad that you're getting better," Kathleen said. "But I've called everyone else, Derek, everyone. And I wouldn't call you if it wasn't a complete emergency."

"What's going on?" Derek asked.

"Chris had an emergency at work," Kathleen sighed. "And I tried to get an hour off, I really did. But I can't."

"You need someone to get Meg," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry, Derek," Kathleen sighed. "I'll never make you do this again, I promise."

"I can't…can't I just meet her at the bus stop?" Derek asked.

"Her bus route's down," Kathleen said softly. "The bus drivers are on strike."

"Fine," Derek sighed, taking a deep breath.

"Thank you," Kathleen sighed in relief. "This is why you're my favorite."

"I better be," Derek sighed. "I'll bring her back to my place until you or Chris can come get her."

"Thank you," Kathleen repeated. "I love you."

"Yeah, yeah," Derek sighed. "I have to go."

"Bye Derek," Kathleen said as she hung up.

Derek sighed as he glanced at the clock, knowing he had just enough time to get to the school before dismissal started. And maybe if he got there at the right time, Meredith would be distracted and he could grab his niece and run.

With a pounding heart, he moved towards his car, different scenarios ran through his head at the thought of seeing Meredith again. His thoughts ranged from Meredith falling into his arms and confessing how much she missed him to walking into the classroom to find her wearing another man's engagement ring. He knew it was crazy, but he couldn't really think clearly as he pulled into the parking lot of the school, suddenly frozen in fear.

He could do this. He'd done it a thousand times before, and he could just grab Meg, bribe her with ice cream if she moved quickly. He may not even have to see Meredith. He could do this.

When he reached her classroom, his breath caught in his throat as he saw her, sitting behind her desk and knitting furiously. He'd never even known that she could knit, and his heart constricted at the fact that there was so much he'd never get to know about her. So much that he wanted to know, but never would.

"Uncle Derek!" Meg cried, and he kept his eyes on Meredith, noticed how her fingers stilled, clutching the needles so tightly that her knuckles began to turn white.

"Hey sweetheart," he murmured, pulling her into his arms. "You ready to go?"

"Yup, I just have to put my chair up," Meg giggled. "Can we go for ice cream, Uncle Derek?"

"Whatever you want," he managed to smile at her as he set her back on her feet and looked closely at Meredith as she turned to smile nervously at him. "Hi."

"Hi," she said softly.

"I…." Derek tried to find words to say, but as he looked into her eyes, he couldn't find the strength to say the words he wanted to. "You're knitting."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Yeah, I…Lexie taught me. I figured it was a good way to…a good hobby to have."

"I'm sure," Derek nodded, looking down at the light purple scarf in her lap. Lavender. Something that would always be associated with her in his mind. "It's beautiful."

Meredith smiled softly, but before either one of them could say anything, Meg ran up to Derek and handed him her backpack. "You can carry my backpack, Uncle Derek," she said.

"Oh, well, what an honor," Derek smiled slightly. "Miss Grey," he nodded, trying to memorize her face in his mind.

"Mr. Shepherd," Meredith murmured, looking down at the yarn in her lap.

Derek sighed as he took Meg's hand and walked out of the room. That hadn't gone as well as it could have, but it hadn't been exactly easy either. But if Kathleen was going to keep her promise, then he would never have to worry about this again, he could get over Meredith and never have to see her again.

"Uncle Derek?" Meg asked.

"Hmmm?" Derek asked, looking down at her as he opened the back seat of his car for her.

"Are you very sad?"

"No," Derek frowned. "Why would you say that?"

"Cause Mommy says so," Meg said. "And I don't want you to be very sad. You're my favoritest uncle."

"Thanks, Meg," Derek smiled, glancing at her in the rearview mirror. "I'm not very sad. Not anymore."

"Good," Meg nodded. "Cause Miss Grey was really sad too. But now she's not anymore. Cause she's got a boyfriend now."

"Well, she's very lucky," Derek inhaled deeply.

"He's a teacher across the hall," Meg continued. "And he's reaaaaaaaaaaally cute. Like Troy from High School Musical."

"That sure seems to be a popular opinion," Derek muttered, trying to ignore the tearing in his heart. He could do this. He had to do this.


	23. Chapter 23

**You guys have been completely amazing with the reviews. You should know that I hate writing about Derek and Meredith apart just as much as you hate reading it, but I've got some pretty cool stuff planned in my head, so I hope you'll keep reading! I'm so grateful for your input, and I hope you're enjoying it, despite the drama. You're all amazing :)**

"Hey, Mer," Andrew smiled as he knocked on the doorframe to her classroom. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," Meredith smiled, sliding into her coat. "How was your day?"

"Crazy," he rolled his eyes. "Apparently Valentine's Day is just another excuse for kids to eat as much sugar as they possibly can."

Meredith laughed as she moved to stand in front of him. "Pretty much every holiday is an excuse for sugar," she laughed.

"Right," Andrew nodded, reaching out to push some hair behind her hair. "Happy Valentine's Day."

Meredith smiled as she leaned forward to press her lips against his. "You too," she whispered.

"You ready to get out of here?"

"Definitely," she smiled.

"Good," he said, reaching out to take her hand.

"So where are we going?" Meredith asked as he led her out of the school.

"That's for me to know and you to find out," Andrew laughed, opening the passenger door to his car for her.

"I got it," she said as she slid into the seat, pulling the door closed before he could. Derek knew she hated that. He never opened her door.

"So you've really never celebrated Valentine's Day before?" Andrew asked as they pulled out of the parking lot.

"Never been dating anyone on Valentine's," Meredith shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

"Well, I'll make sure your first Valentine's Day is amazing," Andrew promised as he reached for her hand.

"It's much appreciated," she smiled as he pulled up in front of her house. "We're at my house," she observed.

"We are," Andrew nodded.

"Why…why are we here?" Meredith frowned.

"Go in and see," he laughed.

"Fine," Meredith sighed as she moved into the house, meeting Lexie and Izzie in the living room. "Do you know what's going on?"

"That new boyfriend of yours barged in here earlier," Lexie said. "We're not allowed into your room."

Meredith frowned as she turned to the stairs, running up to her room, here breath catching in her throat as she looked at the beautiful red dress that hung from the back of the bathroom door. An envelope rested on the bed, and she reached for it with shaking hands.

"What do you think?" Andrew's voice asked from the door.

"I…a spa?" Meredith frowned. "And the dress is beautiful, but…"

"I thought you might like a massage, maybe a facial," Andrew smiled as he stepped closer to her. "To put you in the mood for our date tonight."

"Date," Meredith stated.

Andrew smiled as he reached for the dress on the back of the door. "Go to the spa, relax," he said, handing her the dress. "Then put this on. I'll pick you up there at seven, okay?"

"Okay," Meredith said, hesitantly reaching for the dress.

"Good," Andrew smiled. "I'll see you in a couple hours."

"Right," Meredith said, looking down at the dress in her hands. Valentine's Day. It was Valentine's Day, and she was spending it with the man that she was quickly falling for. But as much as she could feel herself falling for Andrew, there was still that annoying voice in the back of her head that told her she should be with Derek today.

XXXXX

"This is amazing," she breathed a few hours later, her muscles relaxed and her face pampered as she sat on the top of a ferryboat in the harbor later that night.

"I figure I'd go all out for your first Valentine's," Andrew smiled as he held his wine glass out to hers.

"It's perfect," she smiled, looking down at the neatly set table in front of her. "I can't believe you did this."

"Well, it may have something to do with my desire to win you over," Andrew confessed as he leaned closer to her. "How am I doing?"

Meredith giggled as she took his hand. "You're doing very well," she nodded.

"Good," he nodded.

"Although you're setting a pretty high bar for yourself," Meredith sighed. "I don't know how you'll top this."

"You'd be surprised," Andrew smiled.

"Well, I can't wait to see that," Meredith smiled.

Andrew laughed, then looked at her carefully as he sobered. "Meredith," he said softly. "I know we've been seeing each other for a couple weeks now."

"Yeah, it's been fun," Meredith said.

"That what I think too," he nodded. "And I just…I don't want to pressure you into anything. But I think that I could really see myself settling down with you."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, reaching for her wine and downing it quickly.

"I'm not trying to freak you out," Andrew murmured.

"You're not," Meredith shook her head, reaching to pour more wine with shaking hands.

"I am," he said, reaching for her hand before she could grab her wine. "I'm sorry. I just…I really like you, Meredith. And I think you should know that."

"I like you too," she whispered. "Can't we…can this just be fun for now? I just got out of a relationship, and I'm not ready for the big stuff yet."

"Okay," Andrew nodded. "I can do fun."

"Good," Meredith nodded, reaching for her wine and downing it in one sip.

"You might want to slow down on the wine," Andrew frowned.

Meredith shook her head as she reached for the bottle again. "Believe me, I need it," she sighed.

Andrew frowned. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she nodded. "Fine."

"Okay," Andrew said carefully.

"You know you're really great," Meredith sighed, "But before we start this, I mean really start this, you need to promise me something."

"Anything," Andrew nodded.

"You'll never ever meet my mother," Meredith said. "And never ever take money from her."

Andrew frowned. "Of course," he nodded.

"Are you sure you promise?" Meredith asked. "Really promise, and not say that you promise and then I'll find a check in your pocket?"

"I really promise," Andrew nodded. "What's going on, Meredith?"

She sighed as she sat back in her seat. "It's nothing," she said. "I just need to take it slow. I've been hurt a lot, so it's a big deal that I'm even letting you do this."

"I get it," Andrew said, reaching for her hand. "We'll just have fun."

"I like fun," Meredith smiled, leaning forward to kiss him. "Andrew?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I might be able to love you," she whispered. "When I know I can trust you."

Andrew smiled softly. "Well, I'll just have to prove that you can trust me, won't I then?" he asked.

"You will," she smiled back at him. "I know you will."

XXXXX

Derek shoved his hands in his pocket as he moved down to the docks, somehow finding himself here after deciding he needed a walk to clear his head of all things Valentine's Day. He'd had plans for today, plans that involved romantic inns in wine country with Meredith, and nothing but a weekend of wine and sex and…her. But now he was alone, and he was finding himself near the ferryboats, at her favorite place to watch the sunrise. She'd dragged him out of bed before the sun was up multiple times when they'd been dating, and he'd always loved to watch the way the morning sunlight shone over his face as she watched the soft light spread over the ferryboats.

Now, he needed to be here, to cling to the one place that he and Meredith could share. It was her favorite place in the world, and it was quickly replacing the cliff as his favorite, for the sheer hope that Meredith would sometime be there at the same time as him so they could talk about everything that had happened.

His head snapped up when a familiar giggle met his ears, and he looked up to see his Meredith, the woman he loved more than anything in the world, wrapped in another man's arms. She looked beautiful, he could see that even from the dock, several feet below them. But she was wearing a beautiful red dress that accented her curves in all the right places, and her hair was falling around her face as she smiled widely.

She looked happy.

It was in that moment that Derek knew.

He knew that she was never going to come back, that she was really moving on and nothing would ever be the same again. He had always promised himself that he would give her whatever she needed to make her happy, so that's what he had to do. He had to let go of her, for good this time so that he could really move on and she could be happy.

With a sigh, he turned away from the docks, walking quickly as if the faster he moved, the easier it would be for him to place her in his past. He stopped in front of a bar, wanting to go in and continue to drown his sorrows, but he stopped himself, knowing that he was bordering on becoming dangerous. So instead, he moved towards his car, getting in and quickly moving towards the familiar street where he had grown up, throwing it into park and bursting into the kitchen.

"Derek," his mother exclaimed, looking up from the candlelit dinner on the kitchen table, her hand tightly in her husband's. "What on earth is wrong?"

"I…I'm sorry," Derek sighed. "It's Valentine's Day, I'm sorry, I forgot, and I just…I'll leave."

"Derek, you come before Valentine's Day," Michael said as he pulled his son to sit down beside him. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know what to do," Derek whispered, resting his head in his hands. "I don't know how to let go of her."

Michael exchanged a glance with Emma for a moment before he stood and said, "Come with me."

Derek frowned as he followed his father out to the garage. "Where are we going?" he asked.

"Fishing," Michael replied.

"It's February," Derek frowned. "And nine o' clock at night."

"If you're my son, Derek, all your best thinking will be done on the water," Michael laughed as he handed Derek the poles. "But we can get the process started on the way out there."

Derek sighed as he climbed into the passenger side of his father's truck. "She's happy," he said softly. "And I'm glad she's happy, I really am. That's all I've ever wanted for her. I just wish she could be happy with me."

"You saw her," Michael stated more than asked.

"Yeah," Derek sighed. "Is it…I want to move on, Dad, I really do. I don't want to spend the rest of my life pining over her when she's happy with someone else. But I honestly have no idea how to move on without her."

"Well, you're doing a hell of a lot better than you were a couple weeks ago," Michael pointed out. "Your mom and I got married young, I never really experienced heartbreak like this."

"I can't imagine having what you and Mom have with anyone besides Meredith," Derek admitted quietly.

Michael sighed as he turned to look at his son. "I'm no experts on break ups," he sighed. "But maybe this is something you need to take one day at a time. See where that takes you."

Derek nodded slowly, testing the idea out in his head. "One day at a time," he repeated. "One step at a time."

XXXXX

"Well, you look a million times better than I've seen in awhile," Mark noticed as Derek walked into the kitchen the next morning. "Still ugly as hell, but…at least you washed your hair."

"I'm taking things one step at a time," Derek nodded. "I have to get over Meredith."

"Dude, it's been months," Mark pointed out. "Months."

"I know," Derek sighed, reaching for the coffee pot. "I'm getting there."

"Whatever," Mark shrugged. "I've gotta go, I've got a study date."

"It's eight in the morning," Derek frowned.

"Yeah, we're actually going to study," Mark smirked. "Or at least, that's what I told her."

"You're sick," Derek rolled his eyes as he grabbed his books off of the counter and slid them into his bag, grabbing his jacket as he moved down the stairs. He was concentrating on buttoning his coat as he bumped into a solid figure on the sidewalk. "Sorry," he murmured automatically, breathing in deeply when he set eyes on a beautiful woman, about his age.

"It's okay," she smiled. "Probably my fault."

"Well, then you should be the one apologizing," Derek said as he flashed her a smile.

"Of course," she laughed. "I'm late, not paying attention to where I'm going."

"Yeah, it's looking like I'm going to miss my first class," Derek sighed as he looked down at his watch. "Nothing like sleeping late, huh?"

"You're in school?" she asked as they fell into step together.

"Yeah, Columbia," Derek sighed. "Fourth year med student."

"Me too!" she exclaimed. "Are you getting ready for the boards?"

"Not as ready as I should be," Derek sighed. "But I'll start soon."

"We could study together," she offered. "You know, a support system or a study group or whatever."

"Does anything ever get done at your study groups?" Derek laughed. "Because in my experience…they're fun but not very educational."

"I guess you have a point," she smiled. "So I guess that's a bad idea."

Derek was silent for a moment as they walked. One step at a time. But maybe he was ready for this step.

"We could hang out sometime anyways," he said cautiously. "You know, grab a coffee or something. Take a break from the boards."

She smiled up at him. "I think I'd like that," she said.

"Good," he smiled, holding out his hand. "I'm Derek Shepherd."

"Oh," she smiled, shifting her books to her other arm so she could shake his hand. "Sorry. I'm Addison Montgomery."


	24. Chapter 24

"Thanks for helping me out today, Derek," Michael sighed as he opened cash register behind the counter in his store. "I know you probably had plans with your girlfriend, but it's the week before Easter, it can get busy. And with Will sick, I'm short a person on the floor."

"It's no problem, Dad," Derek smiled as he reached for a guitar. "And Addison's not my girlfriend."

"Right," Michael nodded, a smirk playing on his face. "She's just your friend. Who's a girl."

"Dad," Derek groaned. "Stop."

"Stopping, I'm stopping," Michael laughed, heading into the back. "I got a shipment of tuners in, can hold down the fort out here?"

"I think I can handle it," Derek said, gesturing to the empty store.

Michael laughed as he disappeared into the back of the store. Derek looked down at the guitar, his hands moving easily over the fret as he tried not to think about the last time he'd played. New Year's Eve, when Meredith had given him what had probably been the hottest sex ever. Not that he only missed the sex, he missed everything about her, but he could only hold out for so long.

Addison was nice, he was enjoying spending time with her. But he would never call her his girlfriend, he hadn't even kissed her. She was just someone who was nice to be around, someone who he could talk to. She had already gotten several ear fulls about Meredith, and she knew that he wasn't looking to date her. He just wanted to be her friend.

The door swung open and Derek automatically looked up from his guitar, his heart stopping when he saw Meredith enter, giggling as she clutched the hand of the man standing beside her. He clutched his guitar tightly, if for no other reason than to make sure that he didn't punch the jackass in the face.

"Can I help you?" he asked politely, standing as he set his guitar aside.

"Derek," Meredith breathed, her eyes widening and her smile fading as she stepped away from Andrew. "I…what are you doing here?"

"This is my dad's store," Derek replied. "I'm helping him out."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "It's good to see you."

"You too," Derek said curtly.

"I just need some new strings for my guitar," Andrew said, glancing between Derek and Meredith carefully.

"Sure," Derek nodded, walking over to the shelf with guitar accessories.

"I'm…I'll just go wait in the car," Meredith said carefully.

"Are you okay?" Andrew asked with concern in his eyes. Derek sighed as he watched them, at least glad that Meredith had someone who took care of her.

"I'm fine," she nodded. "I'll just let you do your…music thing and wait outside. Fresh air, you know."

"Okay," Andrew frowned as he watched her leave before he turned back to Derek. "So you two know each other?"

"We dated," Derek sighed. "It was a long time ago."

"Oh," Andrew nodded. "Well, I guess that explains the speedy get away."

"I guess," Derek nodded, holding up a pack of strings. "These are the best we've got. I use them myself."

"Perfect," Andrew smiled.

Derek moved around the counter, his fingers lingering over the buttons for a moment before he looked up at Andrew.

"Are you okay?" Andrew asked as he looked carefully at the soft smile on Derek's face.

"She likes lilies," Derek said softly.

"What?" Andrew asked.

"Meredith," Derek said. "She likes lilies. She says she hates flowers, but…she loves lilies. And she hates seafood, especially lobster because she can't eat anything that looks like it did when it was alive. And she insists that the right side of the bed is hers, but even if you sleep on the left…she'll end up curled around you anyways. If you open her car door, be prepared for a very long lecture on feminism. And she says she can cook, but she burns the toast every time. She insists that it's her conditioner that smells like lavender, but I'm convinced that she wears some kind of perfume or something, because there's no way that conditioner can be that completely captivating. She's been hurt a lot and now…now she just wants to be loved."

Andrew frowned as he reached for the strings that were sitting on the counter. "Thanks for the advice," he said hesitantly. He started to walk out the door, stopping when he heard Derek's voice again.

"I hurt her," Derek said softly. "I didn't mean to, but…I hurt her. Badly. So just…don't be like me. Don't hurt her."

Andrew turned to look at him, smiling slightly. "She doesn't need to worry about being hurt anymore," he said before he disappeared out the door.

Derek sighed as he sank onto the chair behind the counter, suddenly exhausted. Being the bigger person was not exactly easy.

XXXXX

Meredith smiled softly as Andrew walked her up to her doorway. "Thanks for taking me home," she smiled softly. "I'm sorry I'm not up to going out tonight."

"Hey, it's okay," Andrew smiled softly, brushing some hair out of her eyes. "I just hope you feel better.

"I'll be fine," Meredith said. "Just lots of rest."

"You want me to stay and keep you company?" he asked.

"No, Lexie and Izzie are home," she smiled. "We'll probably just have a girls night. You know, watch movies, talk about boys."

"Well, I hope you have nothing but good things to say," Andrew smiled.

"Of course not," Meredith giggled. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Okay," Andrew smiled, kissing her softly.

Meredith sighed as she walked into her house, collapsing onto the couch and staring up at the ceiling, wondering why the world apparently seemed to hate her. There was no other possible explanation for the way that she had run into her ex boyfriend while out with her new boyfriend. Hate. The world hated her.

"What are you doing here?" Izzie asked as she appeared in the doorway, a bowl of popcorn in her hands.

"This is my house," Meredith replied.

"Don't you have a date with the hot teacher?" Izzie asked.

"I did," Meredith sighed. "But we happened to walk into a music store that just happened to be owned by Derek's father. And guess who was working behind the counter?"

"Oh no," Izzie sighed.

"Yup," Meredith nodded, leaning back into the cushions. Because the world hates me."

"Was it horrible?" Izzie asked.

"It wasn't too bad," Meredith sighed. "I just wish that Derek didn't have to see us together. It's too weird."

"You had to know that you're going to run into him eventually," Izzie pointed out.

"I know," Meredith started, frowning when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it."

She sighed as she dragged herself towards the door, stopping short when she saw Derek standing on the other side of the glass.

"Derek," she frowned as she opened the door, crossing her arms over her chest. "What are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to say I'm sorry," Derek said, looking down at his feet. "For everything. You're amazing, Mer, and I never meant to hurt you. I loved you a lot, and I can't help but think what would have happened if I'd never gone to the hospital that day."

"Derek…" Meredith started, but he shook his head.

"I'm glad you're happy," he continued. "Andrew…he seems like a great guy. And he'll be good for you, so I'm happy for you."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered.

"And I'm sorry for stopping by unannounced," Derek continued. "But I just wanted to give this to you."

Meredith looked at him suspiciously as she took the offered envelope, keeping her eyes on his as she tore the paper open. When she finally looked down at the contents of the envelope, her breath caught in her throat and she looked up to meet his eyes. "Derek…"

"It was your Christmas present," Derek said softly. "So you should go. You and Andrew. They're your tickets, Mer."

"Derek, I can't keep these," Meredith whispered.

"Please," he said softly. "I want you to have them. Even if you don't use them, please just take them."

Meredith nodded as she shoved the tickets back into the envelope, tears building in her eyes. "Thank you," she whispered. "That's…really great of you."

"I know you hate me," Derek whispered. "And I'm going to leave you alone, I promise. Next time you're in my dad's store…I'll have someone else help you."

"You don't have to do that," Meredith whispered.

"I do," Derek nodded. "But can I…Can I just hold you? One more time?"

Meredith smiled as she moved closer, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her face in his neck.

"Oh," Derek breathed, closing his arms around her and leaning down to breath in the familiar scent of lavender.

"Derek," she whispered into his neck.

"Oh, Mer," Derek breathed, squeezing her tightly for a long moment, neither one of them really wanting to let go.

Long before she was ready, Meredith pulled back and smiled shakily.

"Thanks," Derek breathed. "I needed that."

"Me too," Meredith smiled softly.

"Good bye, Mer," Derek whispered, his eyes lingering on her face for a moment.

"Bye Derek," she whispered back, watching as he stepped out of the house and made his way down the sidewalk.

"Did he just do what I think he did?" Izzie asked as Meredith walked into the living room and collapsed onto the couch again.

"He gave me the tickets to Europe," Meredith whispered, holding up the envelope. "Said they were my present and I should enjoy them. He wants me to go with Andrew."

"That is so sad," Izzie breathed.

"What the hell am I supposed to do?" Meredith asked.

"I can't tell you that," Izzie shook her head.

"It's Europe," Meredith whispered. "Europe, Izzie."

"I know," Izzie nodded. "If Derek wants you to go, maybe you should just go. It would be amazing."

"It would be," Meredith nodded softly. "How am I supposed to tell Andrew that I'm taking him to Europe with Derek's money?"

"You don't," Izzie shook her head. "Just tell him that a friend gave them to you."

Meredith nodded slowly. "Is it the right thing?" she asked.

Izzie sighed as she sat up. "Look, I didn't think this really matter, but a couple days ago, I saw Derek out with another girl. They were at the coffee shop, and they looked pretty close, Mer."

"Oh," Meredith whispered. "I…"

"I'm sorry, Mer, but I didn't think it was a big deal, you've been seeing Andrew, so I didn't think you'd care if Derek was dating anyone."

"You're right," Meredith nodded. "I know you're right, I guess it's just weird to feel it."

Izzie smiled sympathetically at Meredith. "You can't be angry at him if you were dating someone first," she said softly.

"I know," Meredith nodded. "It's just weird to think about anyone else being his girlfriend."

"I had a point," Izzie stated. "If Derek wanted to go to Europe, he would have gone. He wants you to use the tickets, Mer, he wants you to enjoy them."

"You're right," Meredith nodded. "I should use them. They were my present. And I…I never asked for the watch I bought him back."

Izzie laughed. "Exactly," she said.

"I'll call Andrew," Meredith smiled, reaching for the phone and moving towards the stairs.

Izzie shook her head as she watched her friend move towards the stairs. Meredith Grey had a lot to learn about love, a lot to learn about trust, and everything to learn about forgiveness.

XXXXX

"You just…gave her the tickets?" Addison frowned as she sat on the counter in Derek's kitchen later that evening.

"What else was I supposed to do?" Derek asked as he dumped some vegetables in the frying pan.

"I don't know, maybe that you still love her, that you never were going to take the money, that you're a stupid idiot and you would do anything to get her back," Addison rolled her eyes.

"She's happy, Addison," Derek said. 'What else was I supposed to do?"

"You really are the dumbest guy ever," Addison rolled her eyes as she grabbed a pepper off of the frying pan. "I can't believe you just sent the woman you love on a romantic European vacation with her boyfriend."

"I promised myself that I'd make her happy," Derek shrugged. "And she's happy with him."

"Look, Derek, I've never met this girl," Addison sighed. "But it sounds like she's got some problems with trust."

"Meredith doesn't have problems, she's perfect," Derek murmured.

"To you," Addison nodded. "But from everything you've told me about her mother, I'm surprised she's not like…a prostitute."

"That's not funny," Derek sighed, leaning against the fridge as he watched the vegetables sizzle.

"Fine," Addison rolled her eyes. "What are you going to do?"

"What do you mean, what am I going to do?" Derek asked.

"You have two months before she goes off on her Euro trip with the all too perfect man," Addison rolled her eyes. "You have to do something to get her back."

"Addison, it's over," Derek shook his head. "I appreciate your help, but…it's over."

"It's not over," Addison shook her head, jumping off the counter. "I'm a spoiled brat, remember? I always get my way."

"You don't really have a way in this situation," Derek pointed out.

"Sure I do," Addison smiled, patting his shoulder. "My way is your way. Which means that you're going to get Meredith back."


	25. Chapter 25

"I just want to know where you got the tickets," Andrew sighed as he and Meredith walked into her house nearly a month later.

"Look, if you don't want to come, then just tell me," Meredith sighed. "I'll bring Lexie, she's always wanted to go to Europe."

"Meredith," Andrew sighed. "I want to go with you. There's nothing that I'd want more. I just want to know where you got the tickets."

"Don't worry about it," she smiled, tugging on his hand and smiling softly. "You know... Europe is a very romantic continent."

"It is," Andrew smiled, his hands landing on her hips.

"So maybe we should…practice," Meredith breathed against his lips. "You know, for Europe."

"Practice sounds good," Andrew smiled.

"Come on," she giggled, pulling him up the stairs.

"Meredith," Andrew sighed as he followed her into her bedroom. "Are you sure about this?"

She wanted to say no. She wanted to tell him that she really couldn't imagine anyone besides Derek inside of her anymore, both emotionally and physically. But instead, she faked a smile and nodded, reaching for the hem of his sweater. "I'm sure," she breathed.

"Good," Andrew nodded, reaching for the hem of her sweater and quickly pulling it over her head. "Mmmm," he murmured as he pressed his lips against the skin around her bra.

Meredith tilted her head back, trying to allow herself to feel aroused as Andrew gently lowered her onto the bed, hovering over her. She could remember sex with Derek so clearly, and it was nothing like this. Derek was careful, he was slow and gentle, and Andrew…he was taking his time, but his touch wasn't nearly as pleasing as Derek's hand been.

She smiled up at Andrew as she pressed her lips to his, gently pushing him off of her. "I want to see you," she whispered, watching as he stood and reached for his belt.

Meredith leaned back against the pillows, hoping that she'd become more aroused at the sight of Andrew naked in front of her. As soon as his pants were discarded to the floor, however, she felt all her hopes disappear. Apparently she'd been spoiled with Derek's size.

Andrew grinned as he climbed back onto the bed. "Now it's your turn," he murmured as he reached behind her to unhook her bra.

"Hmm," Meredith swallowed hard as he moved the bra to the floor and reached eagerly for the button on her jeans.

"Meredith," he breathed, looking down at her as he pushed her pants aside. "You're beautiful."

"Thanks," she breathed, pulling him down to her. "You can…"

Andrew smiled slightly as he moved down her body. "Foreplay, Mer," he breathed.

"Foreplay," Meredith nodded. "Right." Except now, all she could think about was the fact that she couldn't wait for this to be over. Andrew, apparently didn't feel the same way as he kissed the skin around her belly button. "Please," she whispered, bringing his lips back to hers and squeezing her eyes closed tightly.

"Someone's impatient," Andrew whispered, running himself along her center. "Are you ready?"

"Please," Meredith whispered. Please, just get this over with.

"Oh," Andrew gasped as he slid slowly into her, causing Meredith to shift uncomfortably beneath him. Wrong, this was all wrong.

"Oh yes," Andrew moaned, and Meredith bit her lower lip, trying not to cry out in pain. Maybe it would help if she closed her eyes and pretended it was Derek making love to her.

Yes, that would work, she felt her body relaxing at the mere thought. It was Derek who was buried deep inside of her, it was Derek who was running a hand along her side, Derek pressing a kiss to her collarbone, and Derek who was bringing her leg to wrap around Derek's waist. Derek. She was with Derek.

"Oh," she moaned, her back arching as she imagined the feeling of Derek inside of her. "Yes."

"You like that?" Andrew murmured, and she shook her head.

"No…no talking," she breathed.

Andrew's only response was to reach between them to pinch her nipple gently.

"Yes," Meredith moaned. "Oh….Derek, yes. Right there, yes! Derek…."

Andrew froze, staring down at her, and when his movements stopped, Meredith opened her eyes and frowned up at him. "What's wrong?" she asked.

"You just said Derek's name," Andrew said, rolling off of her and staring at her suspiciously.

"What?" Meredith frowned, sitting up and holding the sheet to her chest. "That's ridiculous."

"You did," Andrew frowned. "You were imagining Derek while I was making love to you."

"I wasn't…I just…" Meredith sighed as she stared up at him. "Come on, let's just try again."

Andrew laughed snidely as he reached for his pants. "You're kidding," he said. "I'm not going to be some kind of…replacement for Derek Shepherd."

"You're not a replacement," Meredith shook her head.

"Oh, so you just thought I would love hearing you scream another man's name while we're in bed?" Andrew snapped.

"No, I…" Meredith shook her head. "Derek was just the first guy I'd been with since college, and it was…I really loved him."

"And you don't love me," Andrew stated.

"I don't know if I love you," Meredith whispered.

"Meredith," Andrew sighed as he pulled his shirt over his head. "I think you just found your answer."

"Andrew, I'm sorry," Meredith sighed. "I wasn't…I didn't mean to…"

"Meredith, you're a great girl," Andrew sighed, sitting down beside her on the bed. "And we could really have a serious future. If you weren't still in love with Derek."

"I'm not…"

"You are," Andrew nodded. "I don't know what the hell happened between the two of you, but you obviously still love him. And he still loves you."

"He doesn't," Meredith shook her head. "And I…I don't."

"You're going to need to sound a lot more convincing than that if you're planning on leading other guys on," Andrew said softly.

"Andrew," Meredith breathed. "Please, don't do this."

"I'm not trying to hurt you," Andrew said. "But I can't be a replacement for another man."

Meredith inhaled sharply as she watched him leave thee room, listening to his footsteps retreat down the steps, the front door opening and closely softly.

"Great," she muttered, throwing herself back against the pillows before she reached for her robe, moving towards the door. She'd just made her life into an even bigger life, and she wasn't sure what to do now.

"Hey Mer," Lexie frowned as her sister walked into the kitchen. "Andrew just stormed out of here. Weird, because I'm pretty sure you guys just had sex."

"We didn't have sex," Meredith sighed as she reached into the fridge for a bottle of water. "Or we did, but…not really."

"How do you not really have sex?" Lexie asked.

Meredith glanced at her sister for a moment before she sighed. "I said Derek's name," she said.

Lexie choked on her water for a moment before she stared at Meredith in shock. "You called him Derek?" she repeated.

"Yes," Meredith groaned, burying her face in her hands. "Lex, what the hell is wrong with me? I've got an amazing, perfect man in bed with me, and I have to pretend that he's my ex-boyfriend to feel anything at all."

"Maybe it's because you know that Derek didn't really do anything wrong," Lexie suggested. "And you know you didn't really want to end things with him."

"I'm going to bed," Meredith sighed. "If Andrew calls…let me know."

"I doubt he'll be calling," Lexie laughed as she watched Meredith walk out of the room.

"Not funny!" Meredith called over her shoulder.

Lexie smiled as she waited to hear Meredith's bedroom door close before she reached for the phone, dialing excitedly and waiting for someone to pick up. "Hey, it's Lex," she said. "She's ready. It's go time."

XXXXX

Addison snapped her phone shut and smiled smugly at Derek. "Alright, it's time," she said.

"Time?" Derek repeated, looking up from his textbook.

"For our plan of attack," Addison said. "It's time to act."

"What exactly are we attacking?" Derek asked.

"We're not attacking anything," Addison rolled her eyes. "We're getting you and Meredith back together."

"You said that a month ago."

"A month ago she was dating someone else," Addison replied.

"She's still dating someone," Derek murmured.

"Not according to my spies," Addison shook her head. "I'm on top of this Derek. Are you ready for phase one?"

"Spies?" Derek repeated.

"Would you keep up?" Addison rolled her eyes. "I've been working on this for a month. I've got several scenarios, one of which is bound to work."

"I'm not sure I like the sound of this."

"Fine, do it yourself," Addison shrugged as she stood.

"No!" Derek cried. "I want…I want to hear phase one."

"Good," Addison smiled as she sat down. "Mark."

"What?"

"I'm sending Mark to talk to her."

"How is that fool proof?" Derek asked.

"Because he's the same as her," Addison said. "They have the same shitty parents, the same insecurities…he gets why she's scared to love you."

"I don't even want to know how you know this much about Mark," Derek rolled his eyes. "And that sounds like a horrible plan."

"You know, I'm getting the feeling that you don't want my help," Addison stated.

"Fine," Derek shrugged. "What happens after Mark talks to her?"

"Then I pretend to be your girlfriend."

"What?" Derek asked. "No. No way."

"Come on, Derek, do you trust me?"

"I'm beginning to doubt it."

"She thinks we're dating," Addison said. "And if she sees it for herself, she'll get jealous."

"And that's good because…"

"Because then she'll realize how much she loves you," Addison smiled. "It'll work, Derek, I promise."

Derek sighed as he looked up at the ceiling. "Can't I just go over there and tell her I love her?" he asked.

"Derek, I'm a girl. Trust me on this." Addison said. "And Meredith needs to realize this on her own. With nudges in the right direction from various people. But if you show up there, she's going to get upset and emotional, and there's no way she'll ever even think about getting back together with you."

Derek sighed. "I'll never understand how the female mind works," he sighed.

Addison smiled, but she leaned over the back of the couch and yelled for Mark, who came stumbling out of his room, squinting in the light of the living room.

"What the hell is going on?" he asked. "It's the middle of the night."

"It's nine thirty," Addison replied. "And we're putting the plan in action."

"Now?" Mark frowned. "Can't it wait until morning."

"No," Addison replied. "Do it now."

"What makes you think that you can boss me around?" Mark asked.

Addison simply raised her eyebrows, and Mark nodded. "Going," he said, turning back to his room.

"Thank you," Addison called sweetly over her shoulder. She turned back to Derek with a smug smile on her face.

"Are you sleeping with Mark?" Derek asked.

"That," Addison sighed. "Is none of your business."

"I think it is," Derek smirked. "I'm not sure if I'm okay with my girlfriend sleeping with other men."

"Shut up," Addison said, throwing an empty soda bottle at him.

"Alright, I'm on my way," Mark groaned. "But I'm not doing it because I want to. Or because I think it will work."

"Just go," Addison rolled her eyes. "I'll owe you one."

"Several," Mark corrected. "Wherever I want. Whenever I want."

"Okay, disturbing images," Derek groaned.

"Just because you're not getting any, Shep, it doesn't mean that the rest of us are holding out too," Mark shrugged.

"Leave, Mark," Addison rolled her eyes.

"Fine," Mark sighed, grabbing his coat and slamming the door closed behind him.

"You really think this is going to work?" Derek asked doubtfully, turning back to Addison.

"She loves you, Derek," Addison said. "And you love her. You've just got to realize that she needs to be fought for. She's skittish, but you need to be willing to fight for her. That's where I come in."

"I can't believe you," Derek sighed. "There aren't many women like you out there, Addison."

"I know," she smiled. "That's what makes me so lovable."

Derek laughed. "Well see how lovable you are when this whole plan pans out," he said. "It better work."

"It'll work," Addison smiled. "Trust, Derek. Just learn to trust."


	26. Chapter 26

"What the hell are you doing here?"

"Wow, what a welcome," Mark smirked as Meredith stood before him in her pajamas. "A little early to be in bed, isn't it?"

"I have to wake up at six to make it to school on time," Meredith replied. "And if I'm not mistaken, you usually go to bed at nine o clock. So again, what the hell are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you."

"About?"

"Am I allowed to come in?"

"Fine," Meredith rolled her eyes. She opened the door and led him into the living room, sitting down in the armchair as he settled on the couch. "What's up?" she asked again. "And if you say Derek…"

"I know we don't know each other that well," Mark said softly. "But from what I gather, we're pretty similar."

"We are not the same," Meredith insisted.

"Maybe not now," Mark nodded. "But we've both had broken pasts. And our parents were horrible to us."

Meredith shifted uncomfortably. "Derek's parents practically raised you," she said.

"Because my real parents seemed to think it was okay to leave their seven year old son alone in the house for days on end," Mark replied. "Your first Christmas was this past one? Mine was when I was eight, and Derek's dad made sure I was able to celebrate with them."

"Oh," Meredith breathed.

"I get that it's hard to accept love," Mark nodded. "But Shep loves you a whole hell of a lot. It takes a lot to get me here doing this, and I wouldn't be doing it if I didn't think you loved him too."

"He lied to me," she whispered. "He took my mother's money after I specifically asked him not to."

"That's something you need to talk to him about," Mark shrugged. "The man's an idiot always has been. But he's an idiot that loves you."

"I don't trust him," Meredith sighed. "How can I be with him if I don't trust him? It doesn't seem possible."

"You love him," Mark shrugged. "I'm not exactly an expert on these things, but I'm pretty sure if you love him, the rest will happen eventually."

Meredith stared at him for a moment. "I can't believe I'm hearing you say these things," she said. "Have you ever even been in a long term relationship?"

"I'm thinking about it," Mark nodded.

"Okay," Meredith nodded. "So if we're so the same, would you want to be with someone who accepted your parents' money to stay away from you?"

"I…" Mark frowned. She was right, he knew she was right, but there was no way he could go back to his apartment without some kind of progress made. Addison would kill him.

"That's what I thought," Meredith nodded, standing as she moved towards the door. "Thanks for trying, Mark."

Mark sighed as he stood, moving to stand beside her at the front door. "It seems to me you've got a choice to make," he said. "You can choose trust without love, or you can choose love with trust that will develop eventually. I'm an emotionally stunted manwhore, but even I'd rather have the second option."

With that, Mark was gone, leaving Meredith standing in the middle of the hallway for a moment. With a sigh, she moved back into the living room, reaching for the phone and dialing quickly

"Hi, it's me," she said. "I'm really sorry about what happened. Can we meet after school tomorrow?"

XXXXX

"Well?" Addison prodded as soon as Mark entered the apartment again that night. "What happened?"

Mark glanced at Derek's eager expression and sighed, running a hand over his hair. "She says she doesn't know how she can be with him if she doesn't trust him," he murmured softly.

Derek sighed and leaned his head against the back of the couch, squeezing his eyes closed tightly. "See, I told you," he said to Addison. "She doesn't love me anymore. It's useless."

"Oh, she loves you," Mark nodded. "She just needs to realize that trust can develop out of love."

Derek frowned as he opened his eyes and looked up at his best friend. "Trust can develop out of love?" he repeated. "Who are you and what have you done with Mark Sloan?"

Mark shrugged as he glanced at Addison before he looked down at his feet. "I'm growing," he said. "I'm turning over a new leaf or whatever."

Addison smiled up at him as she reached out to take his hand. "I think it's sweet," she said.

"As sweet as this all is, what happens with this brilliant plan now?" Derek interrupted them.

"Now," Addison sighed. "We have to make her jealous."

"Jealous," Derek repeated.

"Yes, girls get jealous too," Addison smiled. "Now that we know she's single and Mark's planted these ideas in her head, as soon as she sees you with another woman she'll get completely jealous and want you back."

Derek sighed. "I guess that makes sense," he said.

"Good," Addison nodded. "So tomorrow we'll go pick Meg up from school."

"I don't think this whole jealousy thing is a good idea," Mark frowned.

"That's just because you're jealous," Addison rolled her eyes. "It will be fine."

"Jealousy does bring out the strongest emotions," Derek sighed. "So…I'm going to borrow Addison for tomorrow."

"Fine," Mark frowned. "But…no sex."

"Definitely not!" Addison exclaimed as Derek rolled his eyes.

"You're an idiot," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Alright, big day tomorrow," Addison said excitedly. "I'm going to bed."

Derek frowned. "How long have you been sleeping with her?" he asked Mark as Addison disappeared into his bedroom.

"A week or so," Mark shrugged. "We've been talking for a long time before that. I like her, Shep. A lot."

"Talking?" Derek repeated. "Mark Sloan, are you in a relationship?"

"I think so," Mark frowned. "Maybe."

Derek smiled softly. "She's good for you," he said. "She's your Meredith."

Mark sighed. "No offense, Shepherd, but at this point, I hope Addison's not my Meredith."

"I don't really blame you," Derek sighed. "But if Addison's plan works, maybe things will work out for us."

"I sure hope so, Shep," Mark sighed. "You've been moping around here for way too long."

Derek sighed sadly as he moved towards his own bedroom. "I know," he breathed. "Good night."

"Night Shep," Mark shook his head as he moved towards his room.

Derek collapsed onto his bed, turning to stare at the picture of Meredith on the side of the bed. He couldn't help but hope that Addison's plan would work, that maybe they would be able to have their life back. He hated that he'd missed out on the last few months, but if he was able to get her back, he would work forever to make up for the time they'd lost.

If Meredith would take him back.

XXXXX

"Okay, you have to hold my hand," Addison commanded as they walked into the school the next afternoon.

"What? Why?" Derek asked.

"Because we're supposed to be dating," Addison said, grabbing for his hand.

"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes, grabbing for her hand. "Let's just do this."

"Alright," Addison said. "Lead the way."

Derek felt his heart pound as he led Addison down the hall towards Meredith's classroom. He could only hope that this would work, that Meredith would realize how much she hated being jealous of Addison and want him back.

"Okay, everyone, time to pack up," Meredith's voice drifted into the hallway. "Rachel, you're the leader this week, you get to pack up first. And if you're getting picked up today, wait until your parents get here to grab your stuff."

Derek took a deep breath and stepped into the classroom, suddenly wishing that Addison would let go of his hand. "Miss Grey," he said softly.

Meredith turned to look at him quickly, her eyes widening as she saw Addison standing beside him, their hands interlocked. "Oh," she said. "Um…Meg, your uncle's here, sweetie."

Meg's eyes lit up and she raced to get her backpack, and Meredith smiled briefly at them before turning back to another student. "Make sure you remember your homework, sweetie," she murmured as she zipped another girl's backpack, trying to avoid Derek's gaze. At that moment, the buses were called, leaving the three of them alone with the few students who were going home with parents.

"I'm Addison," she said, holding out her hand. "Derek's told me all about you."

"Oh," Meredith frowned, reaching out hesitantly to shake Addison's hand. "It's nice to meet you."

"I hope you don't think that I'm a horrible person for making Derek bring me here," Addison sighed, moving closer to him. "But he told me he was going to take Meg to the zoo after school, and I just couldn't say no."

"Right," Meredith nodded. "No, it's fine. I'm just glad that you're on time. Because I've got a date. With my boyfriend. So it's a good thing that you weren't late."

Derek cleared his throat as he turned to look down at Addison, who blinked in surprise.

"You know, Mark was over at my house last night," Meredith continued. "And I really thought about some of the things he said, and I really thought that we could make it work, Derek. But I guess not, since you two are so happy together. And after thinking about what Mark said, I realized that maybe I'd been to hasty to break up with Andrew."

"Oh," Derek faked a smile. "Right, of course. I'm happy for you."

"Thanks," Meredith smiled. "I am too. Happy. For you."

"I'm ready Uncle Derek!" Meg cried, running up to him and grabbing his hand. "Can we go to the zoo now?"

"Of course," Derek murmured, picking his niece up into his arms. "Let's go."

"It was good to see you, Mr. Shepherd," Meredith murmured.

"You too, Miss Grey."

Meredith watched as Derek walked out of her classroom, his niece on his hip and his hand in that stupid whore's. Except she wasn't really a whore, she as tall and gorgeous. And completely different than her, but apparently that's the kind of woman that Derek really wanted to be with.

"Meredith?" Andrew knocked on her door and stepped into the classroom. "Are you okay?"

Meredith blinked back tears and moved quickly to hug him. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "I'm sorry, Andrew. I want to be with you, really I do. I want to be with you, not Derek, and I'm sorry."

Andrew frowned as he tightened his arms around her. "It's okay," he breathed. "It's okay, Mer, we'll work it out."

"We don't have to go to Europe if you don't want to," Meredith whispered. "And I'm sorry about last night, I really am. But it won't happen again, I promise, I'll just be with you, not thinking of anyone else."

"Meredith," Andrew breathed, pulling back to look at her. "It's okay. All of it. I'm sorry for last night, I should have let you explain. I don't like it, but we'll work it out. You don't have to cry."

"Are you sure?" Meredith breathed, pulling back. "Are you sure it's okay?"

"I'm sure," Andrew smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead. "We'll work this out. I promise."

"Thank you," Meredith breathed. "I um…I have to go meet Lexie, I promised I'd help her study for one of her finals. But um…can we get together for dinner tonight? Maybe figure all of this out?"

"Sure," Andrew nodded. "Give me a call when you're done with Lexie, and I'll come over and cook for you."

"Okay," Meredith whispered.

Andrew smiled, but before he could say anything else, Lexie ran into the classroom. "Mer, I just saw Der…oh," she said.

"Hi Lex," Meredith sighed, pulling away from Andrew and reaching for her bag. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah," Lexie said, glancing suspiciously at Andrew. "I um…you guys worked things out."

"We did," Andrew smiled.

"Okay…" Lexie said. "Mer, are you ready? I really need you."

"Sure," Meredith said, sniffling softly. "I'll see you later?" she asked Andrew.

"Of course," Andrew nodded. "Bye, Mer."

"Bye," Meredith smiled as she followed Lexie out of the room.

"What the hell are you doing?" Lexie asked as soon as they were in the hallway.

"What?" Meredith frowned.

"You're back with Andrew?" Lexie asked. "What about Derek?"

"Derek has a girlfriend," Meredith replied. "Which he made very clear when he brought her in here to flaunt in front of me."

"What?" Lexie asked, her heart suddenly pounding. Maybe the plan hadn't worked after all.

"She's beautiful and tall and gorgeous," Meredith sighed. "And I'm…me. Derek obviously wants to be with strong women like her, not me."

"That's not true," Lexie insisted. "He loves you."

"What the hell is going on?" Meredith snapped. "Lexie, I'm done with Derek. You need to accept that. We're done, and I don't know why you won't let me let go of him."

"Because you love each other," Lexie insisted.

"Loved," Meredith shook her head. "Past tense."

"Fine," Lexie sighed. "I have to go to the bathroom, I'll meet you at the car."

"Fine," Meredith said.

Lexie sighed as she pulled her cell phone out of her pocket, ducking into the nearest staff bathroom. "Addison, it's me," she whispered.

"I know, it didn't work," Addison sighed. "Derek's a mess. He refuses to do anything else. It's really over this time."


	27. Chapter 27

"But I don't wanna go to second grade," Meg whined as she stared up at Meredith, tears filling her eyes.

Meredith smiled softly as she crouched down in front of Meg, taking her tiny hands in hers. "Why not?" she asked.

"Cause I like first grade," Meg sighed. "And you're the bestest teacher ever."

"Well, I am very flattered," Meredith smiled. "But I have a secret for you."

"You do?" Meg asked, her eyes lighting up slightly.

"Mmmmhmmm," Meredith nodded. "Mrs. Carter is an even better teacher than I am."

Meg sniffled slightly. "She is?" she asked.

"Oh, definitely," Meredith nodded. "And in her class, you'll have a pet hamster. How cool is that?"

"Will I get to feed him?" Meg asked.

"I think she'll want you to feed him," Meredith nodded.

"Wow," Meg breathed. "When does second grade start?"

"In a couple months," Meredith smiled softly.

Meg leaned forward to hug Meredith tightly. "You really are the bestest teacher, Miss Grey," she said. "I wish I could still see you every day."

Meredith squeezed her eyes closed as she hugged the little girl back. "Me too, sweetie," she whispered. This would have been the day. If she and Derek hadn't ended things six months ago, she'd be able to tell Meg that she'd one day be Aunt Meredith instead of Miss Grey.

"Come on, Meg," Kathleen said softly from behind them. "We've got to get to Uncle Derek's graduation."

Meredith smiled softly as she stood, watching Meg run to get her backpack. "Hi," she said softly to Kathleen.

"Hi," Kathleen smiled politely.

"So Derek's graduating today?"

"Number one in his class," Kathleen nodded. "His internship is all set at Grace for August."

Meredith smiled. "That's great," she said. "Tell him congratulations for me."

Kathleen nodded slowly. "I will," she said. "Meg, come on, we're going to be late."

"Bye Miss Grey," Meg sighed, wrapping her arms tightly around Meredith's waist one last time.

"Bye sweetie," Meredith smiled. "Have a good summer."

She sighed as she watched Kathleen take her daughter's hand and lead her out of the school. She was leaving for Europe in two days, a trip that Derek had given her, and she was going with another man. Another man who was completely amazing and perfect, but he wasn't Derek.

"Hey, Mer," Andrew smiled as he stepped into the room. "You ready to go?"

"Go?" Meredith repeated.

"I promised you we'd go shopping for last minute stuff," Andrew said. "For the trip."

"Right," Meredith nodded, shaking her head as she reached for her bag. "I um, yes, yes, we'll go shopping."

"You okay?" Andrew asked.

"Fine," she nodded. "I just get emotional. You know, last day of school, saying good bye to my students. It's hard for me."

Andrew smiled sympathetically. "I know," he said. "But you'll have a whole new set of students to spoil in the fall."

"You're right," she nodded. "But I actually just remembered…I have to help Izzie pack up the preschool for the summer this afternoon. Do you think I can take a raincheck?"

"We leave in two days, Mer," Andrew frowned.

"I know," she smiled, kissing his cheek quickly. "But I promised Izzie. We'll go first thing tomorrow, okay?"

"Okay," Andrew sighed.

"I'll call you later," Meredith smiled softly. She walked quickly out of the school, making her way back to the house where she found Lexie in the kitchen, in front of the blender.

"Hey Mer," she said. "I just finished my last final. I'm making margaritas to celebrate, you want some?"

"Give me that," Meredith rolled her eyes. "You're nineteen."

"Like you weren't getting drunk when you were eighteen," Lexie frowned as she watched Meredith down the drink. "Whoa, what's going on?"

"Derek's graduating today," Meredith whispered.

"I know," Lexie nodded. "Or I don't, but I figured it would be soon."

"Derek's graduating," Meredith repeated. "And I was supposed to be there. I was supposed to be there, and then we were supposed to go to Europe and have lots of sex and be happy."

"But you broke up with him," Lexie said softly. "And you have Andrew. You'll go to Europe with Andrew and have lots of sex and be happy with him."

"Trust me," Meredith shook her head, reaching for the tequila bottle. "Sex with Andrew will not make me happy."

Lexie frowned. "So why are you with him?"

"I'm not a whore, Lexie," Meredith sighed. "It's not just about sex. He's amazing. And he loves me."

"You sound like you're trying to convince yourself."

"I…I'm not sure if I can go to Europe with him," Meredith whispered. "That's big. And I don't think I'm ready for big with Andrew."

Lexie was silent for a moment before she asked, "If you can't do big with him, then why are you dating him?"

"I…" Meredith stared down into the tequila for a moment before she snapped her head up. "I have to go."

"Meredith, you just drank two margaritas and like, half a bottle of tequila," Lexie said. "You're not driving."

"She doesn't need to drive," a voice came from the doorway. "I know what she needs to do."

Lexie and Meredith both turned to see Andrew standing in the doorway to the kitchen, a sad smile on his face. "Hi, Mer."

"I'm just going to…laundry!" Lexie cried. "I'll do laundry." She scurried past Meredith into the laundry room, leaving the door open a crack.

"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked softly.

"I thought I'd make you dinner while you and Izzie were closing up the preschool," Andrew said softly. "But it looks like I'm the one who got the surprise."

"Andrew," Meredith sighed, tears building in her eyes as she sat down at the table. "I'm sorry. I really am. Because I've tried really hard to convince myself that you're the one. I just…I guess I'm finally realizing that it can't happen."

Andrew smiled softly. "I should have realized that a long time ago," he nodded. "I hung onto you because you're so amazing and I thought that maybe, somehow, you'd come around and I could be the man that makes you happy."

"I wish you were," Meredith whispered. "I really wish you were."

"But I'm not," Andrew shook his head. "It's okay, Meredith, really. I've been kidding myself for a month now. Ever since…well, that night, I've known that you're still in love with Derek."

"I am," Meredith whispered. "I don't want to be, but I am."

"You want to be," Andrew nodded. "Look, Meredith, you may not love me in the way that I love you. But I do know you. You scare easy. And your feelings for Derek scare you. But you can't run from him. You've been running from him trying to be with me and you've been miserable."

"I haven't been miserable," Meredith shook her head. "You really are a great guy, Andrew. For Izzie. Or Lexie. I just can't imagine myself with Derek."

"Finally," Lexie groaned from the laundry closet and Meredith rolled her eyes. "Ignore her."

"You should go to him," Andrew said.

"I can't," she whispered, fingering the place mat on the table. "He has a girlfriend."

"No he doesn't!" Lexie burst out of the laundry room.

"Lexie!" Meredith frowned. "Can you please just mind your own business for once in your life?"

"No," Lexie shook her head. "I just can't let you not do this. Derek doesn't have a girlfriend."

"Lexie, I met her," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And I'm kind of in the middle of something here."

"I'm leaving," Andrew smiled softly. "I had fun, Mer. Even if you were completely in love with someone else, I had fun with you. And I hope you can be happy."

"Thanks," Meredith smiled softly. "I really am sorry."

"Just be happy," Andrew replied, leaning forward to kiss her softly. "That's all I want for you."

"I…Derek makes me happy," Meredith said softly. "He'll make me happy."

"Good," Andrew smiled before he turned to walk out the door.

"Okay, we have to go," Lexie giggled, reaching for the car keys. "Come on, come on."

"Where?"

"To graduation," Lexie cried, grabbing Meredith's hand. "You're going to show up just as they're calling his name. And as he's accepting his diploma, he'll see you and run off the stage to pull you into his arms and give you the most romantic kiss ever. And the graduation will stop, and everyone will start clapping for you. And then Derek will get down on one knee and…"

"Okay, stop," Meredith rolled her eyes. "That's your fantasy, not mine."

"Fine," Lexie sighed. "But it will be completely romantic."

"Whatever," Meredith sighed. "I just hope it's not too late."

"It's not too late," Lexie frowned as she pulled onto the highway. "What the hell is this?"

Meredith frowned at the seemingly endless strand of stationary cars that stretched before them on the road. She reached forward to turn on the radio to the news station, her face falling at what she heard there.

"…tractor trailer accident that workers will be working as quickly as possible to clean up," the announcer said. "If you're stuck on that highway, get comfortable, because chances are you'll be there for several hours.

"What?" Meredith frowned. "Lexie, back up, we can take back roads."

"I can't back up, there's a million people behind me now," Lexie cried.

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" Meredith yelled. "I have to get to him, Lexie, I have to tell him I love him."

"I know you do!" Lexie yelled back. "What am I supposed to do about it?"

"I don't know," Meredith sighed, flopping back into her seat. "Maybe it's a sign."

"It's not a sign," Lexie shook her head. "You'll get to Derek. You have to. You have to tell him you love him."

XXXXX

The two of them entered the house many hours later, dejected and frustrated. Meredith dropped her bag on the floor and buried her face in her hands. "What do I do now?" she asked.

"Now you go back tomorrow," Lexie said.

"Lex, we got to the school three hours after graduation was over," Meredith said. "He wasn't at his apartment. No one was at his house. And his dad's store was closed. He obviously didn't want to see me."

"He didn't know that you were looking for him," Lexie replied. "He just graduated med school, he was probably out celebrating with his family. Now you're going to go to bed and wake up early and get your butt over to that apartment of his to tell him how much you love him."

Meredith pulled a pillow over her head. "I tried," she said.

"Meredith, you're acting pathetic," Lexie rolled her eyes, pulling the pillow back from her head. "Do you want to be pathetic? Or do you want to be extraordinary?"

Meredith stared at her sister for a moment before she nodded. "I want to be extraordinary."

XXXXX

"Meredith," Michael smiled as she entered his store the next afternoon. "It's good to see you, sweetheart."

"You too, Mr. Shepherd," Meredith smiled slightly.

"I thought I made it clear that my name is Michael," he said as he moved around the counter to hug her tightly. "Now, what can I do for you?"

"I was just wondering if Derek's here," she said. "Mark doesn't know where he is and neither does Mrs….Emma. So I thought he might be here."

"I haven't seen him," Michael shook his head. "Do you need something?"

"I just…well, can you just give this to him?" she asked, handing him an envelope.

"Sure," Michael nodded, taking the envelope. "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," Meredith smiled softly. "He just really needs to get that. Before tomorrow, so are you sure you'll see him? Because I've spent the last two days looking for him, and it seems like he's disappeared off the face of the planet, but it's really really important that he gets that before tomorrow."

"I'll make sure he gets it," Michael nodded. "I have a hunch as to where he is anyways."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Okay, then." She turned to leave, stopping when she heard Michael continue.

"He really misses you, you know."

Meredith smiled softly. "I know," she whispered. "I miss him too."

Michael smiled warmly at her. "Emma turned me down three times before she finally agreed to marry me," he said softly. "Sometimes…sometimes the person we love the most is worth waiting for."

"I know," Meredith nodded. "I just hope Derek thinks so too."

"He does," Michael nodded, placing a gentle hand on Meredith's shoulder. "My son loves you, Meredith. More than he's ever loved anyone."

"And I love him," she whispered. "He's the only person I've ever really loved."

Michael smiled as he moved to the door, flipping the sign to closed. "If you'll excuse me, I've got a very important errand to run," he said as he held up the envelope. "I'll make sure he gets this."

"Thank you," Meredith smiled as she stepped out of the store, her heart pounding in her chest. Now all she could do was wait.


	28. Chapter 28

"You, my son, are one hard man to find," Michael sighed as he got out of his truck and looked out over the lake.

Derek frowned as he looked up from his fishing pole. "Dad, what are you doing here?" he asked. "It's six in the morning."

"Which begs the question of what you're doing in the middle of the woods instead of in bed like a normal person," Michael said.

"Couldn't sleep," Derek murmured.

"Well, thanks to you I didn't sleep," Michael sighed as he sat down beside his son. "I've been over every inch of Seattle looking for you since about four o clock yesterday afternoon."

"What's wrong?" Derek frowned. "Is everything okay, Mom and the girls…they're okay, right?"

"Of course they're okay," Michael nodded. "But I want to know why my son, who just graduated from medical school at the top of his class is living in the middle of the woods."

"I just needed a break," Derek sighed, casting off again.

"Hmm," Michael nodded, reaching for the spare fishing pole on the ground and baiting it. "Meredith?"

"It's been over six months, Dad," Derek sighed. "And I can't get her out of my head. We were supposed to leave today. We were supposed to be together for the past six months, and we were supposed to leave for a romantic two months in Europe. And instead I'm here, in the middle of the woods fishing at six in the morning because I can't stop thinking about Meredith Grey."

"Because you love her."

"I've tried to stop," Derek said. "I've tried to stop because she's with someone else and she's happy. But I really don't think I can be happy without Meredith. I can't imagine myself with anyone else."

"So you think the best way to pretend to be happy is to come up here?" Michael asked, raising an eyebrow.

"It's always been where I've thought the best," Derek shrugged. "I know it's far away from the house and the lake we usually go to is a lot more convenient, but…there's just something about this place that makes me feel at ease. It's the only place I can get the racing of my head to stop. And I don't have to listen to Mark and Addie go at it like rabbits."

Michael laughed slightly. "Did you ever think of talking to Meredith?" he asked. "And I don't mean following on some stupid plan that her sister cooked up with your friends, but just talking to her?"

"She doesn't want to talk to me, Dad," Derek sighed.

"Hmmm," Michael frowned, reaching into his pocket. "That's interesting. She came into the store yesterday, seemed pretty desperate for you to have this for today."

"What…." Derek frowned as he looked down at the envelope, his name printed in Meredith's neat teacher handwriting. "She came to the store?"

"If I were you, I'd open that up," Michael said. "That girl seemed pretty determined for you to have that."

Derek frowned as he opened the envelope, inhaling sharply as he looked down at the single piece of paper in his hand. "Dad," he breathed. "Is this…."

"I'm no genius, Derek," Michael said. "But from what I can gather, this is her version of an apology."

"But…she's supposed to go with Andrew," Derek frowned.

"Maybe she doesn't want to go with him," Michael said. "Maybe she realized that you bought her these tickets, and she wants to go with you."

"And she's leaving it up to me whether I come or not," Derek breathed. "What time is it?"

"Six fifteen."

"The plane leaves at nine thirty," Derek breathed, jumping up. "I have to go."

Michael grinned as he followed Derek to his truck. "I'll drive you," he nodded.

Derek felt his heart pound in his chest, knowing that this was it. He was going back to Meredith, and they were going to be together forever. He was sure of it.

XXXXX

"He's not coming," Meredith said as she paced the living room, her suitcase and carry on already placed next to the door. "He's not coming."

"You don't know that," Izzie shook her head. "Maybe he went straight to the airport. That would make sense, wouldn't it? You didn't say to come to your house."

"Right," Meredith said, glancing at the clock. "It's seven."

"You should get there soon anyways," Lexie nodded. "International flights want you to get there early."

"Okay," Meredith breathed. "He's coming, right?"

"He's coming," Izzie nodded. "Now come on, we've got to get to the airport."

"Okay," Meredith said, swinging her bag over her shoulder and pulling the handle up on her suitcase. "You sure you're okay with staying here by yourself in the house for a couple months?"

"We're grown ups, Mer," Lexie laughed. "We can take care of ourselves."

"Fine," Meredith sighed, climbing into the passenger seat of Izzie's car. "You know you don't both have to come. I just didn't want to call a cab."

"Are you crazy?" Lexie asked from the back seat. "I'm waiting until you get through security to see if he shows up. I've had to listen to you bitch about this for months, I'm going to take any chance I can to see the two of you get back together."

"I did not bitch for months," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You kind of did, Mer," Izzie laughed.

Meredith frowned. "You know, I could kick you out of my house whenever I want," she said. "And find roommates I actually like."

"You mean like Derek?" Lexie giggled.

"If he comes," Meredith breathed.

"He's coming, Mer," Izzie sighed.

"I know you both think that," Meredith sighed. "And I want to think that too. But…I can't. I can't tell myself that he's definitely going to come and then have him not show up. That would kill me. Especially since I'd be on a romantic European vacation for two by myself."

"That makes sense," Lexie sighed, but she couldn't help notice the way her sister's eyes were darting among the cars around them on the highway. She was obviously trying to recognize Derek's car, hoping to follow it to the airport.

But they reached the airport a few minutes later and there was no sign of Derek's old car. Meredith climbed out of the car and reached to open the trunk, noticing how badly her hands were shaking. "Get a grip, Mer," she muttered.

"You have to calm down," Izzie said as she and Lexie followed her into the airport departures gate.

"I'm calm," Meredith insisted, looking at the long line for her airline check in. "I don't see him. Do you see him?"

"Maybe he's already here," Lexie suggested.

"Just get in line," Izzie said, pushing Meredith forward into the line. "Just check in, and we'll wait for him."

"Okay," Meredith sighed, stepping into the line. He was coming. He loved her, and he was coming. Michael would definitely had gotten him his ticket, and he was coming. He was just…packing. He was packing. Or he was being Derek and spending way too much time on his hair. But he'd be here. He loved her, and he wouldn't leave her alone on their trip. He was coming.

"Hi, where are you traveling to today?" the flight attendant asked with a cheerful smile from behind the desk.

"Dublin," she murmured, handing over her passport.

"Miss Grey, I see that there is another person traveling on your reservation," the flight attendant observed. "Is he with you?"

"I…" Meredith shook her head. "He's on his way." I hope, she silently added.

"Alright, we can just print your boarding pass, and he can join you once he's through security," she smiled, handing her her passport and boarding pass. "We'll take your checked baggage here. Boarding time is at nine."

"Thank you," Meredith murmured, looking down at her watch. Seven forty five. "Did you see him?" she asked Lexie as she moved back towards the door.

"I haven't seen him," Lexie said sympathetically.

"Why don't you call him?" Izzie asked.

"I don't want to," Meredith shook her head. "What am I supposed to do when answers and tells me he doesn't want to come?"

"Oh," Lexie sighed. "I guess you're right."

"So…I guess I'm going to go through security and see if he's already at the gate," Meredith said, her heart beating wildly in her chest.

Izzie leaned forward to hug her tightly. "Good luck," she breathed.

Meredith smiled as she leaned forward to hug Lexie. "Thanks guys," she breathed. "For everything."

"You better call us as soon as you find him," Lexie smiled as she hugged her sister close. "I can't wait two months."

"I'll call you," Meredith nodded.

"Meredith," Izzie said as she started to walk away. "If he doesn't…I think he'll come, I really do. But on the off chance that he doesn't come, you should go to Europe. You've have a rough year, you deserve it."

Meredith smiled sadly. "I'll try," she said as she moved to get into the security line.

"He's going to come, right?" Lexie asked Izzie as they watched Meredith step through the metal detector. "He's going to come, and it will be okay?"

"He'll come," Izzie nodded, taking a deep breath. "Derek loves Mer. He's definitely coming."

"Okay," Lexie nodded. "Good." They were silent for a moment before Lexie asked, "We can stay and see if Derek comes, right?"

"Oh, definitely," Izzie nodded, moving to sit on the row of plastic chairs that sat beside the door.

XXXXX

"Dad, it's eight thirty," Derek breathed as he pulled into the parking garage of the airport. "Do you think I can make it?"

"If you run," Michael nodded, handing Derek his passport. "Your mother took the liberty of packing for you last night."

Derek grinned as he hugged his father close for a moment. "Thanks, Dad," he said. "Tell Mom I love her."

"I will," Michael laughed, clapping his son on the back. "Go on."

Derek jumped out of the car and grabbed his suitcase out of the back before he rushed into the airport, missing Izzie and Lexie's squeals of delight.

"Dublin," he breathed, shoving his passport across the desk.

The flight attendant frowned as she accepted the passport, clicking a couple keys before she smiled. "Yes, Mr. Shepherd, the other half of your party has already checked in," she said.

"Right," Derek said. "I need to get to the gate before boarding."

"Boarding begins in fifteen minutes," she said, handing his passport back to him. "It takes about twenty minutes to get to the gate from security. The line for security is currently ten minutes."

"Damnit," Derek breathed, grabbing the passport off the counter and rushing towards the security gate. His heart pounded in his chest as he waited impatiently for the line to move. He couldn't miss this plane. He had to get to her.

XXXXXX

"Flight number 501 from Seattle to Dublin, Ireland is now boarding first and business class passengers," Meredith heard the flight attendant announce over the intercom and she sighed as she looked down at her watch.

Nine on the dot.

She was a business class passenger, Derek had splurged. But she wasn't going to get on the plane if Derek wasn't there.

He was coming. He was just late.

XXXXX

"Seriously?" Derek groaned as the metal detector beeped loudly as he stepped through. "You've got to be kidding me."

"Sir, could you step over here please?"

"My plane's boarding," Derek said as he held his arms out, rolling his eyes as he was patted down.

"It's procedure, sir," the guard said. "We'll do our best to ensure you won't miss your flight."

XXXXXX

"Excuse me, ma'am?" a voice interrupted Meredith as she stood in the middle of the waiting area, clutching her ticket tightly in her hand. He wasn't coming.

"Yes?" Meredith asked.

"We're about to close the plane," she said. "Will you be flying with us today?"

Meredith opened her mouth to say no, but then she remembered Izzie's words. She deserved this. Even if she would be thinking of Derek the entire time, she deserved a break, and she could at least relax at his expense.

"Yes," she nodded. "Sorry, I was…distracted."

"It's alright," the flight attendant smiled as she led Meredith closer to the gate. She scanned her ticket and smiled warmly as she gestured to the gangway. "Welcome aboard."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered, looking down at her feet as she walked onto the plane, completely alone.

She was alone. Derek hadn't come.

With a sigh, she slid her bag into the overhead compartment and collapsed into the seat next to the window, closing her eyes tightly as she tried to squeeze back the tears that fell down her cheeks anyways.

He hadn't come.

She didn't know why she was surprised. She'd been horrible to him, she hadn't even given him a chance to explain everything that had happened with her mother. At the moment, she couldn't even remember why she had been mad. All she could feel was the pain that Derek hadn't come.

Derek didn't love her.

The door to the plane slammed closed, and she sighed as she unfolded the blanket on the floor in front of her, cuddling into it to gain some warmth. She wanted to be as warm as possible, because a life without Derek….all she could feel was cold.

She felt someone slide into the seat beside her and swallowed hard. They must have given Derek's seat to someone else. Because he hadn't come.

Before she could really process what was happening, however, the blanket was torn off of her and she was being pressed a very strong, very male, very familiar chest as lips met hers in a searing kiss. "Derek," she breathed, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck.

He had come.


	29. Chapter 29

"Meredith."

Her name rolled off his tongue easily as she kissed him back, her hand weaving through his hair as he ran his own hands over her sides, cursing the armrest between them from getting closer.

"You're here," he heard her whisper against his lips. "You came, you actually came."

Derek smiled slightly as he pulled back to search her eyes, happiness shining behind the tears that were still lingering on her cheeks. "Of course I came," he breathed, his thumb brushing her tears away. "Did you think I wouldn't?"

"I didn't know," she whispered. "Lexie and Izzie said you would, but I wasn't sure, and…"

She was cut off by the feeling of Derek's lips against hers again. "Lexie and Izzie were right," he whispered.

"I love you," Meredith whispered. "I love you so much, and I'm so sorry. For my mom, for Andrew…everything."

"I'm sorry too," Derek replied. "But we're here now. I love you, and I never want to be without you again."

"Me either," Meredith whispered, cuddling closer to him. "You're here."

"I'm here," Derek laughed slightly. "We're on our way to Europe."

"We are," Meredith breathed. "Wow."

He held her closely for a moment, inhaling the strong scent of lavender as he closed his eyes and memorized everything about this moment. Meredith was back in his arms, and nothing could be as perfect as that.

"Derek," she said softly, pulling away from him after a moment. "I love you. Like really love you, and I'm really glad that you're here. But…I'm still not sure that I trust you."

"Oh," Derek swallowed hard, looking down at the floor. "I guess we do have a lot to talk about."

"It's a good thing we have a twelve hour flight ahead of us," Meredith smiled slightly.

"It will be a good way to spend the time," Derek nodded, reaching for her hand. "I'll do anything you need me to, Mer. I want you to trust me again, and I'll do anything to show you how I want you forever."

Meredith smiled as she squeezed his hand. "Thank you," she whispered. "I think I just need time."

"Okay," Derek nodded, tilting his head to the side. "Do you want to talk?"

Meredith sighed. "Why did you do it?" she whispered. "I asked you specifically to let me take care of my mother. And then you went to her. I believe you when you said that you weren't going to cash the check, I do. But you still went to talk to her after I asked you not to. I know it sounds like a stupid reason to be upset, but with my past with her, I just really didn't want her to destroy what we had."

"I was trying to protect you," Derek sighed, resting his head against the back of the seat. "The way she treats you…that's not okay, Mer. She's horrible. And I thought I'd be able to help her see how amazing you are, that she could be proud of you."

"My mother will never be proud of me," she whispered. "I've accepted that a long time ago."

"I know that now," Derek sighed. "But Mer? You can't blame this entire break up on me."

"I know," she sighed, leaning forward to rest her forehead against his. "I'm sorry, Derek, I really am. I over reacted. I should have let you explain, and then maybe we would have had those six months."

Derek smiled softly. "We'll just have to make this vacation count, then," he whispered.

Meredith smiled as she nodded. "And you know what we can do now?"

"Have hot make up sex?"

"Precisely," she smiled, cuddling into his arms again. "In Ireland, though. I don't want our make up sex to be a quickie."

"I suppose I can wait," Derek sighed, running a hand through her hair. "Although it has been six months…"

Meredith's eyes widened as she turned to look at him with wide eyes. "You didn't… you...since us?" she asked.

"I didn't want to be with anyone else," he sighed. "But it's okay, if you and Andrew…if you slept with him."

Meredith giggled slightly. "I tried," she admitted.

"You tried?" Derek frowned, wondering if he was going to hate this conversation.

"I said your name," Meredith whispered. "He was…I just couldn't do it, so I closed my eyes and pretended it was you. And then I said your name."

"Oh," Derek laughed. "Well, I guess I'm okay with that then."

"Plus," Meredith said slyly, her mouth breathing hot air into his ear. "I was too used to your…manliness to be satisfied with him."

Derek swallowed hard as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "It's going to be a long flight," he groaned.

Meredith giggled as she rested her head on his shoulder. "It'll be worth it," she promised.

"I know," Derek smiled, threading his fingers through hers.

Meredith smiled softly as she lifted their joint hands to examine them closely. "They fit," she breathed.

"Hmm?" Derek asked.

"Our hands," Meredith said. "They fit. My hands didn't fit right with Andrew."

"I missed you," Derek whispered into her hair.

"I missed you too," she whispered.

"Never again," Derek said, shifting her to look into her eyes. "This is it, Mer."

She smiled softly as she cupped his cheek in her hand and pressed her lips against his gently. "Forever," she whispered before she settled back against his shoulder again. She was back where she belonged.

XXXXX

"Please?" Meredith giggled, her pen in hand as she tried to grab Derek's arm.

"No!" Derek laughed.

"But I'm bored!"

"I don't care," Derek laughed, pointing to the personal TV in the back of the seat in front of her. "Watch a movie."

"They're all boring," she rolled her eyes. "Come on, Derek."

"I'm not letting you draw on me," Derek laughed.

"But I'm bored."

"Fine," Derek sighed. "How about you tell me where we're going?"

"Ireland," Meredith rolled her eyes. "You're the one who bought the tickets."

"I meant after Ireland," Derek said. "You did make plans for that, didn't you?"

Meredith frowned. "I thought you had it all planned," she said.

"Well, we were going to do it together," he sighed, reaching for her hand. "I just assumed that you planned it with Andrew."

"Oh," Meredith sighed. "Well, I did. Kind of. But I don't want you and I to go on a trip I was supposed to take with Andrew. I want to go on a vacation with you. Our vacation."

Derek smiled as he leaned forward to press his lips against hers. "I'm glad," he whispered.

"Okay, so…we can plan our trip," she giggled, reaching for her bag. "We're starting in Ireland."

"What the hell is that?" Derek asked as she pulled a huge book out of her bag.

"It's a guidebook," Meredith said, flipping open to Ireland.

"A guidebook to the entire world?" Derek asked, reaching for the book.

"There's a lot to see in Europe," Meredith replied. "So we're starting in Dublin. What do you want to do there?"

"Have sex."

"I'm serious, Derek."

"Me too," he laughed. "Six months, Mer. Longer than that."

"Derek, you wanted to see Ireland cause it's where your dad's from," Meredith said. "Why the hell are we even going to Europe if all you want to do is have sex?"

"I want to see Europe too," Derek nodded. "My dad's family is from Tipperary, not Dublin."

"Alright, so we'll go to Tipperary," Meredith said, folding a page down in her book and writing something down in the notebook on the tray in front of her.

"That book is going to drive me insane," Derek stated.

"Would you rather me draw on you?" Meredith giggled. "My students seem to think it's a lot of fun to draw on each other."

"Well, I'm not a first grader and I don't think it's funny."

"Even if I draw my name with a heart around it?" Meredith asked.

"No," Derek said firmly.

"Fine, then don't complain about the book," Meredith said firmly. "Where else do you want to go in Ireland?"

"My parents went to Killarney for their honeymoon," Derek murmured.

Meredith smiled as she turned to look at him. "You want us to go on your parents' honeymoon?" she asked.

"Does that make me sound weird?" Derek frowned. "Because I think it does. I didn't mean it like that."

"I think it's cute," Meredith giggled, kissing him softly.

Derek smiled as he reached for her hand. "Where do you want to go?" he asked.

"London," Meredith whispered, pressing her lips against his. "Berlin. Vienna. Paris. Rome. Florence. Greece. Nice."

"Anywhere you don't want to go?" Derek laughed.

"Shut up," Meredith whispered. "You said it's my trip."

"It is," Derek smiled. "Scotland."

"You like the Celtic region," Meredith smiled as she moved back to her list.

"I'm one hundred percent Irish," Derek shrugged.

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded, biting her lower lip.

"Mer," Derek smiled softly, reaching out to rub her back.

"What?" she asked.

"You're wondering where your family's from," he said softly.

"I…" Meredith frowned. "How do you know me so well?"

"I love you, Mer," he shrugged. "That means I know you."

"Fine," she said. "It doesn't really matter, I just think it would be cool to know. Like you know."

"I only know because all four of my grandparents came straight from Ireland," Derek replied.

"Yeah, but I could be anything," Meredith shrugged. "Even your name…Derek Shepherd. That's an Irish name if I've ever heard one. Meredith Grey…there's not much culture in that name."

"I think it's a beautiful name," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. "And you're right, it doesn't matter."

"It will when we have kids and we have to tell them that half of their nationality is completely missing," Meredith sighed.

"Meredith," Derek frowned, looking closely at her. "Why are you getting so upset over this?"

"I don't know," she sighed. "It's just been a long day, and I still can't believe that you're actually here, and I'm just overly sensitive or whatever. Because I've spent the last six months trying to convince myself and everyone around me that I was okay, and now I really am okay because you're here and I love you, but now I can't stop crying."

"Mer," he laughed, pulling her into his arms. "It's okay. You can cry if you want to."

"I don't want to," she whispered. "I'm just glad that you're here. I thought you weren't going to come."

"I just barely made it," he laughed slightly. "They had to reopen the door for me."

"I'm glad they did," Meredith sighed. "I can't imagine going without you."

"I would have been on the next flight out," Derek nodded. "God, Mer, I can't believe we lasted this long without each other."

"But never again," she said.

"Never again," Derek agreed.

"Hmmm," Meredith mumbled, her eyes starting to fall closed.

"Sleep, Mer," he murmured, pressing a kiss to her head and pulling the blanket over her shoulders. "I'll be here when you wake up."

"Love you," she mumbled, moving closer to him.

"I love you too," he whispered, leaning his head down to rest his cheek against the top of her head. She was in his arms again, and nothing felt better than that. He felt himself begin to drift off to sleep, a smile playing on his lips as she shifted to rest her head in his lap, her arms wrapping tightly around his waist. This was perfection.

He wasn't sure how long it had been when he felt Meredith's lips against his cheek and he groaned as he shifted closer to her. "Sleep," he murmured, resting his head on her shoulder.

"Derek," he heard her giggled as she ran her hands through his hair. "You have to wake up."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Okay, I'm a first grade teacher," Meredith giggled. "I'm the queen of these fights."

"Fine," Derek sighed, lifting his head off her shoulder. "Why do I need to wake up?"

"Look," Meredith breathed as she pointed out the window to show him the green ground beneath them.

"Oh," he breathed.

"That's Ireland," she whispered, resting her chin on her shoulder.

"That's Ireland," Derek replied.

"We're here," Meredith whispered as she turned to look into her eyes. "We're really here, Derek." Her voice was soft but excited, and he knew that she was talking about more than being in Ireland. They were here, and they were together, and that was more than he could ever ask for.


	30. Chapter 30

"Derek," Meredith breathed as they walked into the hotel late that night. "This place is….really nice."

"I know," he smiled as he led her towards the check in desk. "Come on."

"But…" Meredith frowned, looking around the white marble and golden chandeliers of the lobby with wide eyes.

"Don't worry about it, Mer," Derek laughed. "It's fine."

"Welcome to the Merrion Hotel," the man behind the counter smiled as he spoke with the famous Irish accent. "What's the name?"

"Shepherd," Derek smiled.

"Ah, yes," the man smiled. "You will be in room 374. Here are your keys, and of course, if you have any problems, please let us know."

"Thanks," Derek said with a smile. "Come on, Mer."

Meredith followed him towards the golden elevators, her eyes wide as the bellboy wheeled their suitcases onto the elevator with them. "Derek," she whispered, pulling his head down to hers. "This is way too much."

Derek smiled as he pressed a kiss to her forehead. "I want to spoil you, Mer," he said. "I'm going to be an intern soon, and I won't be able to give you as much attention as I want to. I hate that, so I'm getting as much time in as I can now."

Meredith smiled softly. "Okay," she whispered, her eyes darting over to the bellboy before they returned to Derek. "Thank you."

"My pleasure," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to her lips.

The doors slid open and the bellboy led them to their room, nodding to them as he set their bags beside the door in their room. "Enjoy your stay Mr. and Mrs. Shepherd," he said as Derek offered him a tip.

"Oh," Meredith swallowed hard as she looked down at her feet.

"Thank you," Derek smiled as he closed the door behind the bellboy and turned to Meredith. "Mer, I'm sorry, I didn't mean for them to think that we're…" he was interrupted by the feeling of her lips on his, her body pressing tightly against his as she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. "Oh."

"I missed you," Meredith whispered against his lips, pulling him towards the king size bed.

"I missed you too," he murmured.

"And now…we're in a fancy hotel," Meredith whispered, pressing him onto his back and climbing on top of him. "In Europe."

"We are," Derek smiled. "And I was promised make up sex."

"Really…amazing make up sex," Meredith breathed, her hands moving under his shirt.

"Definitely," Derek whispered, rolling her onto her back. "I love you so much."

"I love you too," Meredith breathed, threading her fingers through his hair.

"Hmmm," Derek sighed, pulling her sweater over her head and moving to trail his tongue around the line of her bra.

"Derek," she gasped, arching her back into his touch.

"You are so incredibly beautiful," he whispered.

"I…" Meredith's eyes fell closed as he unhooked her bra in one easy motion, leaving her breasts exposed to his hungry gaze.

He leaned down to suck eagerly on her nipple, smiling slightly as he felt her skin begin to heat beneath his hands. "Mer," he sighed as he trailed kisses down her abdomen to her belly button. "God, I love you."

"Derek," she breathed, sitting up slowly. "You…too many clothes."

He smiled slightly as he reached for the button on her jeans. "I'll be naked," he promised. "But first…first I need to show you how sorry I am."

"But…sex," Meredith panted as he slid her jeans and underwear off her legs.

"This is sex," he smiled as he pressed his lips against hers quickly before he leaned back to admire her naked body as she trembled on the bed. "Hmmm."

"Derek," she moaned. "Please…"

"Oh, yes," Derek breathed, watching as she moved a hand down to her wet folds. "Yes."

"Derek, please," she breathed. "I need you."

Derek smiled slyly as he watched her fingers move over herself. "Did you take care of yourself?" he breathed. "Did you pretend it was me?"

"Yes," she whimpered, her eyes falling closed. "I made myself come and I pretended it was your hard, huge cock inside of me."

"And you called out for me," Derek breathed huskily. "Just like you're going to do now."

"Yes," Meredith moaned, looking up at him through hooded eyes. "Derek, please. I don't want my fingers. I want you."

"Hmmm," Derek smiled, pulling his shirt over his head before he leaned forward to kiss her gently. "No torture right now."

Meredith swallowed hard, breathing heavily in anticipation as Derek slid out of his pants, his erection ready and calling for her. She smiled slyly as she felt her body begin to tremble in anticipation of having him inside of her. It had been far too long since she'd been completely satisfied.

With a sly grin, she moved to her knees to sit in front of where Derek stood at the end of the bed, trailing her fingertips over his length. "I've missed you too," she purred.

"Meredith," Derek moaned, pushing her back onto the bed as he fell on top of her. "Are you…pill?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I want to feel you, Derek. No condom, I don't want anything in between us."

"Good," he nodded, kissing her deeply as he shifted his hips to thrust deeply into her.

"Oh," Meredith breathed, tightening her muscles around him for a moment, not letting him move.

"Meredith," he breathed, letting his head fall to her shoulder as they stayed like that for several moments, completely as one as they adjusted to the feeling of being together again.

"Derek," she whispered after a moment, releasing him. "Fuck me, please."

"No," Derek shook his head, his breathing labored. "Make…make up sex. I'm going to make love to you."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, her brain starting to go blank as he moved out of her and slowly back in, his hands roaming all over her body.

"Later," Derek promised as he reached for her hands, pinning them over her head as he continued to moved gently in and out of her.

"Derek," she moaned, tears springing to her eyes as she finally felt complete again. "God, Derek, I love you so much."

"I love you too," he whispered, his lips moving to her neck, going as deep inside of her as he possibly could.

"Derek," Meredith cried as she felt her muscles begin to tighten around him. "Oh…."

Her orgasm washed over her in a soft wave that made her tremble violently underneath him, her hands releasing his to trail gently over his back.

"Meredith," he grunted as he shoved himself into her a few more times, finally releasing into her as a long loud moan escaped from his lips.

Meredith swallowed hard as he rested his head on her chest, snuggling into her. "Don't move," she whispered, his penis still nestled deep inside of her. "Please, I need."

"No moving," Derek whispered, his breath coming out in a soft pant against her neck.

"Good," she sighed, a hand moving to his hair as the other continued to trace invisible drawings on his back.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Derek."

"I don't think I'm ever going to stop saying that," he sighed.

"Good," Meredith giggled slightly.

They were silent for a few moments before the sound of Meredith's stomach growling loudly caused them both to laugh.

"Hungry, Mer?" Derek asked as he slid off of her and reached for the room service menu.

"Okay, my body's all messed up because of the time change," Meredith defended, snapping the menu out of his hands. "And sex makes me hungry."

"I remember," Derek laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Order whatever you want."

Meredith looked down at the menu for a moment before she closed it and looked at him closely.

"What?" he asked, suddenly uncomfortable under her scrutinizing gaze.

"I'm not sure how to say this without offending you," Meredith admitted quietly.

Derek frowned. "Just say it, Mer," he said. "You won't offend me."

"Your family….you're not rich," Meredith said. "You're not poor or anything, I know that, but your parents have five kids and two sons in law and grandchildren, so…that's a lot of people to take care of. You're not poor, I know that, but you're not rich, so…"

"You're wondering why we're here," Derek nodded slightly. "My grandfather was a very rich man. He really made a name for himself when he came over from Ireland, started an Irish pub in Boston that's still in business today, I think. But when my mom wanted to marry my dad, who was a poor musician at the time, he was not happy. He refused to give my parents any money, but he set up college funds for all of us when we were born. That's how we've been able to afford med school for four of us, and probably Caitie too. But I got full academic scholarships to both college and med school, and with the interest that's collected on my college fund over the past twenty five years…it's more than enough to spoil you in Europe for a couple months."

"Oh," Meredith nodded, reaching for his hand. "I love it, Derek, I really do. This room…it's amazing. But you know that you don't need fancy stuff to win me over, right? I love you. You, Derek, not the fact that you can spend lots of money on me."

"I know," he nodded. "But the money just came into my name since I graduated, and I want to spoil you. So let me."

"Okay," Meredith giggled, leaning back into the pillows. "I want a cheeseburger."

"Oh, Mer," Derek laughed as he reached for the phone.

"What?" she frowned.

"Only you would want to eat a cheeseburger at one in the morning at the fanciest hotel in Ireland," Derek laughed. "But I love you for it."

"It's five at home," Meredith protested. "Dinner time."

"Right," Derek nodded, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose as he spoke gently into the phone for a few minutes. "Half an hour."

"Good," Meredith giggled, scurrying off the bed. "That gives me time to explore."

"Oh, I can think of something else we can do in a half hour," Derek laughed, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her back onto the bed.

"Really?" Meredith asked. "What would that me?"

"I want you to scream my name," Derek growled, pulling her underneath him again.

"Oh," Meredith breathed. "Dirty make up sex."

"Exactly," Derek nodded, kissing her hard.

"I want it hard," she purred, arching her hips into his. "I need it hard and fast."

"You want me to fuck you hard?" Derek asked, rubbing his length along her thigh.

"Yes," Meredith breathed. "Make it hurt, Derek. I dare you."

"Oh, you're such a bad girl," Derek whispered as he thrust hard into her. "You're a dirty, dirty, bad girl."

"Derek!" she screamed as she felt him fill her completely. "Oh God…"

"You like that?" Derek asked as he pounded into her again.

"Yes!" Meredith cried. "God, Derek, you're so big. So hard and big."

"Keep talking," Derek grunted into her ear as he pushed himself into her as far as he could go, causing her to thrash beneath him. "Tell me what you feel."

"Derek!" she screamed again as he arched her hips forward, sliding a pillow underneath her as he made contact with her g-spot. "Right there, yes. Oh my god!"

"Meredith," he breathed in her ear, an animalistic groan escaping from his lips. "Oh, yes."

"Derek," she panted, feeling her orgasm wrack her body as another one built. He was the only one who had ever been able to do this to her, make her start another orgasm before the previous one had finished. "Derek."

"Tell me you love me," he commanded, his hands gripping her hips as he stilled inside of her.

"I love you," she breathed, completely at his mercy as he began to pound into her again, faster than before. "I love you, Derek."

Derek only grunted in response as he thrust himself hard into her, the head of his penis repeatedly making contact with her cervix as he felt her moist walls continue to tremble around him.

"Please," she groaned, her hands moving to his back, her fingernails digging into his skin.

"Meredith!" he shouted her name as his body began to shake.

"Yes!" Meredith screamed as he pounded into her as deep as he could, her legs tightening around him as she dug her nails into his skin. "Derek!"

"Oh, Mer," he groaned as he released into her, his breathing shaky as he pulled her into his arms.

"Oh my God," Meredith panted, a shaky hand moving into his hair. "Derek…"

"That was…"

"The best sex ever."

"Definitely," Derek agreed.

"You've learned some new stuff," Meredith giggled. "You sure you didn't practice?"

"I'm sure," Derek rolled his eyes. "I share a wall with Mark Sloan. I spent many a night in my room wishing you were with me so we could show him up."

"So now you have a thing for dirty talk?" Meredith whispered.

"You have a problem with dirty talk?" Derek asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Definitely not," Meredith smiled slyly. "It's very hot."

"Good," Derek said, running his hands over her hips. "You okay?"

"I'm perfect," she sighed.

"You're going to have bruises," he frowned.

"And your back's bleeding," Meredith sighed. "I suppose hot sex has its price."

"It does," Derek smiled, pressing his lips softly against the bruises on her hips. "I'll make it up to you."

"I fully expect to put that swimming pool they call a bathtub to good use," Meredith smiled as there was a knock at the door. "Go get me my food."

"Going," Derek smiled, kissing her quickly as he pulled on his boxers and a t-shirt.

Meredith sighed as she settled back into the pillows, a pleasant ache already starting to take over her body. She couldn't believe that they were actually here, that they had just had the hottest sex of her life and she finally felt complete again. Derek was back, and she'd never felt happier.


	31. Chapter 31

"Derek," Meredith breathed as she stepped into the tiny room at the bed and breakfast in Tipperary a few days later. "This is so adorable!"

Derek smiled as he set her suitcase on the ground beside the door. "I'll be right back, I'm going to get my suitcase from downstairs," he said.

"Okay," Meredith said distractedly as she opened the curtains to look out over the garden outside.

Derek looked at her for a moment, taking in the soft smile spread across her face as she took in the scenery before her. He inhaled sharply, wondering how in the world he had managed to live without her for so long, and said a prayer of thanks that it was never going to happen ever again. Hs turned to walk down the stairs of the small bed and breakfast, smiling politely at the woman working behind the desk.

"Mr. Shepherd," she said with a smiling, handing him a piece of paper. "I forgot to give you and your wife this information about our local pubs and restaurants. It may come in useful when you're hungry later."

"Oh," Derek smiled, reaching for the paper. That had been the second person who had assumed that he and Meredith were married, and he was already beginning to think that this was perhaps a sign. Maybe his Irish grandmother who had always believed in true love. "Thank you."

He made his way back up to their room, smiling when he opened the door and saw Meredith digging through her suitcase. "Hey," he said, moving forward and pulling her into his arms, kissing her passionately.

"Hi," she giggled against his lips, her hands moving through his hair. "You were gone for two minutes, Der. I barely had time to miss you."

"I know," Derek laughed. "I just needed to kiss you."

"Oh," Meredith smiled. "Well, feel free to do so anytime you need to."

"I'll remember that," Derek said, squeezing her tightly.

"So I was going to take a bath before we go out to dinner," Meredith said, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Are you interested?"

Derek smile as he kissed her again. "You relax," he said. "I'm going to run out and grab some stuff I forgot."

Meredith frowned. "What do you need?" she asked.

"I…condoms," Derek heard himself say.

"We've been having sex for three days without condoms," Meredith pointed out. "I'm on the pill, Derek."

"I know," he said. "I'm just trying to make sure we do everything we can. I love you, Mer, but I'm not ready to have a baby while I'm an intern."

"Okay," Meredith frowned, pulling out of his arms and moving towards the bathroom. "Go buy your condoms."

"Please don't be mad," Derek sighed.

"I'm not mad," she shook her head, turning to smile at him slightly. "Just confused. But whatever."

"I'm just trying to be as cautious as possible," he said.

"I know," she nodded. "I don't want a baby right now either."

"Well, at least we're on the same page with that," Derek sighed. "I'll be back. Enjoy your bath."

"Okay," Meredith smiled as he kissed her quickly. She sighed as she turned into the bathroom, starting the water and pinning her hair up above her neck. Her boyfriend was up to something, something he didn't want her to know about. She wasn't sure she wanted to know either, but she had to trust him. She loved him, and she'd promised him that she'd work on trusting him.

XXXXX

Derek sighed as he stepped out of the bed and breakfast, making his way towards the main street they'd ridden down in the taxi less than an hour earlier. He couldn't believe that he'd told her he was going to buy condoms. It had been the first thing that had popped into his mind, but it was so far from the truth. But he had to keep this a surprise for her, he needed to do it by himself and not let her find out.

He stepped into the first jewelry store he saw, smiling at the attendant behind the counter. "Hi," he said. "I'm looking for claddagh rings."

"Certainly," the woman said with a smile, moving towards a case at the other end of the store. "Gold or silver?"

"Silver," Derek nodded.

"For a girlfriend?" the woman asked with a small smile.

"Yes," Derek nodded.

"Alright, well these are the standard claddagh rings, with an emerald," she said. "Over here we have more modern ones with diamonds, and we also have a selection of rings with birthstones in the center."

"Hmmm," Derek nodded, staring down at the rings in the case, suddenly overwhelmed with all the options before him. He hadn't anticipated this. "I think…either a diamond or an emerald. Meredith hates birthdays, so…no birthstones."

"Alright," she smiled, pulling both the emerald and the diamond out of the case. "Take your time."

"Thanks," Derek said, examining each of the rings closely as he tried to picture them resting on Meredith's long finger. As he held the emerald up into the light, he saw it sparkle and was suddenly reminded of Meredith's beautiful green eyes. "I think I'll take the emerald," he smiled. "It matches her eyes."

The attendant smiled as she reached for the ring. "That's sweet," she said. "Will that be all for you today?"

"Yes," Derek nodded, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He paid quickly for the ring and stepped onto the sidewalk, opening the box slowly to examine in closely. It was perfect for Meredith, and he couldn't wait to put it on her finger. He had a plan, and he knew that it was going to be perfect. He just had to wait for tomorrow.

"Hey," Meredith called from the bathroom as he entered the room. "That had to be the longest condom run ever."

Derek froze, suddenly realizing that his alibi had a complete hole in it. "Um…yeah," he said, taking advantage of her wrapping herself in a towel to shove the ring to the bottom of his suitcase.

"I was thinking," she sighed, coming into the bedroom. "You're right. I don't know why I got all weird earlier, but we can't have a baby. We're not married, you're starting your internship and I have like no money, so you're right, we should be taking every precaution we should."

"Oh," Derek nodded. "Good. I'm glad you get it."

"So," Meredith smiled, dropping her towel and moving towards him seductively. "What do you say we…skip dinner and just stay here instead? After all, it would have been a waste if we didn't put those condoms to good use."

Derek sighed, trying to think quickly. "Mer, we really should go out and experience the town," he said. "That's why we came."

Meredith frowned as she snatched the towel up off the floor. "What the hell is wrong with you?" she asked. "You've been acting weird ever since we got here and the woman downstairs called me Mrs. Shepherd. What's going on?"

"Nothing, Mer," he sighed, leaning forward to kiss her. "I couldn't find any condoms. That's what took so long."

She narrowed her eyes at him. "What are you up to?" she asked.

"Nothing," he shrugged. "We're in Ireland, Mer. And I love sex with you, you know that. But the point of coming to Europe was to see it, not to jump from hotel to hotel and have sex all the time."

"You're right," she nodded. "I'm sorry. I'm just still trying to trust you. And remind myself that you're you and you're not going to leave."

"Never leaving," Derek shook his head. "I promise."

"Okay," she sighed. "Just let me get dressed, and then we can go grab dinner."

Derek smiled as he collapsed onto the bed, watching her closely as she dressed quickly. He knew that he wasn't exactly the most sneaky person in the world, but he had to make sure that he could hold onto this surprise until tomorrow.

XXXXX

"Derek, do you even know where we are?" Meredith frowned as he dragged her off a bus and down the road of a small town, past houses and shops before he stopped in front of a small white church.

"Of course I do," he smiled, looking up at the church. "This is where my parents got married."

"What?" Meredith breathed. "Your parents got married in Ireland?"

Derek smiled as he took in the church he'd only ever seen pictures of. "They got married here thirty years ago," he said. "And then went to Killarney for their honeymoon."

Meredith smiled as she squeezed his hand. "That's amazing, Der," she breathed.

"Yeah," he nodded softly, turning to look at her. "Come here."

Meredith followed him as he guided her to the steps of the church, smiling nervously as her eyes searched his. "Derek, what's going on?" she asked.

He smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her softly before he reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, handing it to her. She stared at him as she took it slowly, opening the box and inhaling sharply. "Derek," she breathed.

"I'm not proposing," Derek said, taking the box from her. "Not officially. But I love you, Mer. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm not ready to get married, and I don't think you are either, but I want you to wear this. You can wear it on your right hand if you want, but I want you to wear it as a promise ring."

"Promise ring," Meredith breathed, looking down at it. "Derek."

"You don't have to," Derek said softly. "But I'd really like you to."

"Okay," she said, holding her right hand out to him.

"Okay?" Derek asked.

"I want to be promised to you or whatever," Meredith smiled.

"Good," Derek smiled softly as he slid the ring onto her right ring finger. "Does it fit okay?"

Meredith smiled down at her hand as she opened and closed her fist a couple times. "Yeah," she said. "It's beautiful, Derek."

"It's a claddagh ring," Derek said. "It means…"

"Friendship loyalty and love," Meredith smiled. "I know."

"Oh," Derek nodded. "Okay, then."

"Thank you," Meredith sighed. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Meredith leaned forward to kiss him softly before she pulled back to look around the green scenery around them. "This is beautiful," she breathed. "I can't believe your parents got married here."

"It's where my dad's dad grew up," Derek said, looking around the small town. "I've always wanted to see it."

Meredith smiled as she moved her hand to run her fingers through his hair. "Are you glad you're here now?"

"I can't imagine sharing it with anyone else," he whispered.

"Do you still have family here?" she asked.

"Maybe," Derek sighed. "But I'm good here."

"We came all this way so we could sit outside a church?" Meredith giggled.

"It's more than that," Derek sighed. "It's where my parents promised each other forever. We're not getting married today, but this ring is me promising you forever. I wanted to make sure that it was special. And you should know that you that I'm going to propose. Someday. Relatively soon."

Meredith smiled. "You're corny," she sighed. "But I love it."

"I'm glad."

"But we should walk around or something," Meredith smiled. "See if there are any other Shepherds with hot Irish accents."

"You think Irish accents are hot?" Derek frowned.

Meredith smiled as she stood, pulling him to his feet as well. "You know there's only one Irish man I'll ever be with," she giggled.

"Good," Derek nodded.

"Derek?" she whispered, pressing her lips against his for a moment.

"Hmmm?"

"When you propose," Meredith whispered. "I'll say yes."

Derek pulled back to smile widely at her. "I'm glad," he replied.

"Now come on," she giggled, pulling him down the street. "I want to go to a pub and see what people remember about the Shepherds."

Derek smiled as he followed her down the street. She was completely adorable, and he couldn't help but love her enthusiasm for learning more about his family. And she was wearing his ring, which made him happier than he'd ever been.

XXXXX

Meredith giggled as she sat down at the table beside Derek in the pub later that night, two more beers in her hand. "I love Ireland," she announced.

"I'm glad," Derek laughed, reaching for one of the beers.

"And I'm telling you, that bar tender has got to be related to you," she said. "Look at him."

"He has red hair," Derek pointed out.

"I know," Meredith rolled her eyes. "But he's corny. And he flirted with me. Which means he's related to you."

"I think you're drunker than you realize," Derek laughed. "And I don't like the fact that he hit on you."

"Relax," Meredith sighed. "It got us free drinks. And then I showed him my ring."

"Okay," Derek laughed.

Meredith was silent for a moment as her attention turned to the band playing in the corner of the pub. "You should play the guitar," she said to him.

"Mer, I'm not going to play the guitar," Derek laughed.

"Why not?" she asked. "You're hot when you play the guitar."

"I know I am," Derek said. "But people don't just let random strangers play in their band."

Meredith frowned. "Well, you should ask them," she said, standing up. "I'll do it if you want."

"Meredith," he laughed, pulling her to sit down again. "You have had way too much beer."

"I can't help it," she giggled. "I never realized how amazing Guinness is. I mean, it's like completely delicious."

"Of course," Derek nodded. "How about we finish this one and go back to the bed and breakfast?"

Meredith took another sip of her beer before she leaned closer. "Can we have sex?" she asked.

"That's the point," Derek laughed.

"Okay," Meredith smiled, returning the glass to her lips. Derek watched in fascination as she downed the rest of her beer in one tilt of her head. "Let's go," she giggled.

"Wow," Derek breathed, downing the last of his beer as he followed her towards the door. Ireland was amazing.


	32. Chapter 32

"I can't believe we're at Buckingham Palace," Meredith breathed as they stood outside the palace two months later. "The Queen's right inside there, Der."

"I know," he laughed. "Stand in front of the gates."

Meredith smiled as she moved towards the gate. She'd been surprised the week earlier to find that Derek had quite the eye for photography. He'd insisted on posing her in various places throughout their trip in Europe, and although she'd protested at first, she'd finally realized that she loved the careful way Derek looked at her as he posed her and took pictures of her, and she'd stopped complaining quickly.

"Beautiful," Derek smiled as he lowered his camera.

"See if you can get someone to take a picture of both of us," Meredith said. "I don't want a million pictures of me. I want pictures of us."

Derek smiled as he turned to a man standing beside him, adjusting the zoom for a moment before he handed the camera over and walked over to join Meredith against the gates. He wrapped an arm around her and smiled down at her before they both turned to the camera and smiled widely.

"Thanks," Derek said as he reached for his camera back. He glanced through the pictures and turned to smile at Meredith. "We are probably the best looking couple ever."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she opened her book. "Okay, I want to do the London Eye at night," she said. "We can get champagne. And it's too late to do Westminster Abbey, but we can do Tower of London now."

"Alright," Derek smiled, following her towards the tube station. They had spent the previous two months traveling through France, Italy, Austria, and Germany, and now they were ending their adventure in London. Meredith had sworn by that damn travel book for the entire trip, and although he had gotten fed up with it at times, he couldn't get over how adorable Meredith was as she flipped through the pages of her book, telling him what they should do in every country they had been to.

"You okay?" Meredith asked softly as they sat down on the surprisingly empty subway.

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "Just thinking about the trip."

Meredith smiled as she rested her head against his shoulder. "It's been amazing," she whispered.

"I can't believe we have to go home tomorrow."

"It'll be okay," Meredith nodded. She examined him closely for a moment before she stated, "You're nervous."

"Of course I'm nervous, Mer," he sighed. "I'm going to be an intern. A doctor. In charge of saving lives. That's terrifying."

"You'll be an amazing doctor," she whispered. "You don't need to be nervous."

"I'm going to need you," Derek said. "It's honestly a miracle that I even passed my boards without you last semester."

"I'll be there," she promised, taking his hand, and he smiled as he felt the metal of her ring cut into his hand. "Whatever you need, Der, I'll be there."

"Thank you," he whispered.

"I…" Meredith started to say something, but quickly stopped.

"What?" Derek asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Nothing," Meredith shook her head as the train came to a stop. "This is our stop."

Derek narrowed his eyes at her as he followed her off the train, wondering what she had wanted to say to him. It had obviously been something big. He sighed as he reached for her hand again, squeezing gently as they climbed the stairs to the street. Whatever it was, he knew he had to wait until she was ready to bring it up again.

XXXXX

"This is amazing," Derek murmured as he stepped into the car of the London Eye behind Meredith.

"Very romantic," she smiled as she took in the bottle of champagne and roses that covered the entire car.

Derek smiled as he reached for the champagne, pouring each of them a glass before he clinked his glass against hers. "Here's to Europe," he said as the giant Ferris wheel slowly began to move over the lights of the city.

"To Europe," Meredith smiled, sipping her glass before she turned to the large window, cuddling into Derek's side.

"It's been an amazing two months," Derek whispered.

"We'll be amazing when we get back too," Meredith whispered, sensing Derek's concerns.

"I know," Derek nodded. "I'm just going to miss being by your side twenty four hours a day."

"We have to work, Derek," she sighed. "But…well…if you want…my house is closer to the hospital than your apartment is."

Derek blinked quickly, surprise taking over his features as he tried to understand what she was saying. "Meredith," he breathed. "Do you…"

"You don't have to if you don't want to," she said quickly. "I just don't know exactly how I'll be able to fall asleep without you anymore, but I'll have to do it a lot when you're on call anyways, so it's not a big deal, but I just thought it would be really nice since we're together forever or whatever, but if you don't want to…"

She was cut off by the feeling of Derek's lips on hers. "I'd love to move in with you, Meredith Grey," he whispered.

"Really?" she asked.

"Really," Derek smiled. "I love you. And coming home to you after a long day at work…there's nothing that I can complain about that."

Meredith grinned as she cuddled closer to him, looking out over the scenery of London. "I'll have to make sure Lexie and Izzie are okay with it," she said. "But they love you, so it shouldn't be a problem."

"Or we could find our own place," Derek suggested.

"You want me to move?" Meredith asked.

"Not if you don't want to," Derek said. "But it might be nice to have a place just for ourselves. We could find somewhere in between the hospital and the school."

"I'll have to talk to them," she said. "But they can keep living there, right?"

"It's your house, Mer, whatever you want," Derek laughed. "We'll figure it out when we get home."

"But we're going to live together?" she breathed.

"Definitely," Derek nodded.

"Good," she smiled.

"So…Miss Grey," Derek said teasingly. "What has been your favorite part of our European adventures?"

"You mean besides the part where you lost your swim trunks on the beach in Nice?" Meredith giggled.

"That was so your fault," Derek rolled his eyes.

"You're the one who suggested sex in the water," Meredith giggled. "And you asked me what my favorite part was."

"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes. "Your favorite non sexual part of the vacation."

"Hmmm…riding in the gondolas in Venice," Meredith sighed. "And the food in Italy."

"Of course," Derek laughed.

"What's yours?" Meredith asked.

"Camping in Austria," Derek smiled. "But this is quickly climbing the charts."

"Mine too," she whispered. "Look at the lights, Der. It's beautiful."

"Yeah," Derek smiled, looking closely at her. "It is."

"Derek," she blushed. "You're looking at me."

"I know," he nodded, pressing his lips against hers. "And you're beautiful."

Before Meredith could respond, the car came to an abrupt halt, and a voice came over the intercom. "We're sorry for the inconvenience, but the London Eye is currently experiencing some technical difficulties. Please hold tight, and we'll get the ride going again as soon as possible. Thank you for your patience."

Meredith sighed as she moved to sit down on the large bench in the center of the car. "I guess we'll get to enjoy the view for even longer than we anticipated," she said.

"Hmm," Derek nodded, looking out the window for a moment before he sat down next to her. "We can make the most of it."

Meredith turned to him, a sly smile appearing on her face. "And how do you suggest we do that?" she asked.

"I have some…ideas," Derek whispered, pulling her into a passionate kiss.

"I like ideas," Meredith breathed, moving to kneel on the ground in front of him as she reached for the button on his jeans.

"Meredith," he breathed as she pulled his developing erection into the cool air.

"You're so big," she breathed, her hand wrapping around him to fully develop his erection.

"I…biggest ever," Derek breathed as he moved his hands to tug on her hair.

"Oh, yes," she breathed. "The best I've ever had. Nothing feels so good as when you're inside of me, fucking me hard."

"Mer," he gasped. "Please…"

"Tell me what you want," Meredith ordered.

"I want to be in your mouth," Derek breathed. "I want to come in your mouth and I want you to swallow it all, every last drop."

"I can do that," Meredith nodded, leaning forward to take his throbbing erection into her mouth.

"Oh my God," Derek moaned as he felt himself hit the back of her throat. "Meredith…"

"You like that?" she murmured as she reached up to squeeze his balls, causing him to shout her name loudly. "Oh yes," she purred. "You're so turned on right now."

"So…hot for you," Derek breathed.

"You want to come, don't you?" Meredith breathed as she pulled back to look at him. "You want to come in my mouth like you come inside of me."

"Please," Derek murmured. "I need to come."

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled, standing to straddle him, bringing his hand underneath her skirt. He pushed her panties aside and shoved his fingers into her, groaning at the feeling of the wetness that beckoned for him. "I want you to come inside of me," she breathed.

"Mer," he groaned as he slid into her. "I'm…quickie."

"Good," she purred, moving her hips over his.

"Meredith," he groaned, his fingers tugging on her hair to pull her head back, pressing kisses down her collarbone. She gasped at the feeling of his lips on her skin, and he smirked as he reached one hand between them to gently rub against her folds.

"Derek!" she screamed, feeling his penis begin to twitch inside of her. "Oh, yes!"

"That's it," he moaned. "Come, Mer."

"You…you first," she breathed.

"Make me," he challenged, his hand teasing her clit.

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled, grinding her hips harder against his as she took his earlobe into her mouth, nibbling gently. Her hands fisted in his hair, tugging on it as he began to release into her.

"Mer," he groaned, feeling her tighten around him. "Love…love you."

Meredith sighed as she rested her forehead against his, squeezing his waist gently with her thighs. "I love you too," she whispered. "Thank you."

"I should be thanking you," Derek laughed as she climbed off of his lap and resituated him.

"I meant for the trip," Meredith giggled. "Although the sex was pretty good too."

"Pretty good?" Derek asked. "That's all I get?"

"Amazing. Mind blowing. Completely dirty and totally hot," Meredith breathed in his ear as she straightened her skirt. "Is that better?"

"Much," Derek laughed. "And perfect timing."

"Hmm?" Meredith asked.

"Ride's moving again," Derek sighed as he pulled her back down to sit beside him. "Have I told you you're amazing lately?"

"Not lately," Meredith giggled. "Although I got that general idea after the sex."

"Well, you are," Derek said. "Not many women would give me sex on the Eiffel Tower and the London Eye."

"You better not be getting sex from any other girls, in public or private," Meredith warned.

"Believe me, I'm not," Derek said. "There's only one woman who can satisfy me."

"And you're the only one who can satisfy me," Meredith smiled.

"So, we have about fourteen hours left in Europe," Derek sighed as the doors opened on the ground again. "What do you suggest we do?"

"Well," Meredith breathed, leading him down the harbor towards their hotel. "I did pick up some very interesting things in Paris."

"Interesting?" Derek asked.

"It's the city of fashion and romance," Meredith breathed in his ear. "Combine those two, and you get some lingerie that is unlike anything you've ever even fantasized about."

Derek swallowed hard as he looked down at her. "And you're going to…put it on?" he asked.

"I was thinking that you may need a little fashion show," Meredith breathed. "I'll try things on and you'll look. But no touching."

Derek nodded, unable to form sentences as he pulled her close, pressing her against his growing erection. "Let's go," he finally breathed.

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled. "I think I want some ice cream first."

"You….what?" Derek frowned.

"Ice cream," she giggled. "I'm hungry."

"You're hungry," Derek repeated.

"Are you going to deny me food?" Meredith pouted, looking up at him with pleading eyes.

Derek groaned as he took her hand and dragger her down the pier. "Fine," he said. "Ice cream. And then sexy lingerie. And then lots and lots of sex."

Meredith smiled as she followed him down the pier. "Thank you," she said sweetly.

"You need to walk faster," Derek groaned.

"Derek," she smiled, tugging on his hand. "I can't…I just want to say thank you. For everything. Because I have no idea how to tell you what an amazing time I've had. And you've been so incredible, this entire trip has been unbelievable. And anything I say or do won't even begin to tell you how much I completely love you for bringing me here and just…for loving me."

"Oh, Mer," Derek breathed, reaching out a hand to cup her cheek gently. "I get it. And the best part for me has been watching you. You've been completely captivated by everything we've seen, and that's the biggest thank you you could ever give me."

"Really?" she whispered.

"Well, that and a striptease."


	33. Chapter 33

"Are you sure this is a good idea?" Meredith asked from the passenger side of Derek's car as he maneuvered the streets towards his parents' house.

"Of course," Derek frowned, glancing quickly at her. "Why wouldn't it be a good idea? It's just dinner."

"Because…it's your family."

"My family loves you, Mer," Derek said.

"Loved," Meredith corrected. "Your family loved me before we broke up and I made you completely miserable for months and then dragged you to Europe for two months so they couldn't see you."

"You're being ridiculous," Derek rolled his eyes. "Every time I called home you were the first thing they asked about."

"Okay, will obviously your dad still likes me," Meredith said. "Because I gave him the tickets, and if he didn't like me he never would have given them to you and I would have been in Europe all by myself. But your mom and your sisters…"

"Still adore you," Derek said. "And we don't have to hide from Meg anymore. She'll be thrilled."

Meredith smiled as she thought about her favorite student. "That will be nice," she admitted.

Derek pulled into his parents' driveway and turned the car off, turning to look at her, reaching for her hand. "I love you, Mer," he said. "And my family loves you. My mom's going to be so thrilled that you're here."

"Okay," she said softly, taking a deep breath. "Let's go."

Derek pressed a kiss to her forehead before he reached for his door handle. "It'll be fine, Mer," he said.

"Fine," she said. "It'll be fine."

Derek took her hand as he led her around the house to the backyard, smiling when he saw his parents standing above the grill, laughing quietly. He squeezed Meredith's hand tightly, hoping that one day this would be them, grilling together as their kids arrived for a late summer barbeque at their house.

"Derek!" Emma exclaimed as she laid eyes on the couple on the lawn in front of them. "Meredith!"

"Hi Mom," Derek laughed, returning her hug tightly as he kissed her cheek. "I missed you."

"We missed you too," Emma exclaimed before she turned to Meredith. "And Meredith, dear, it's so good to see you."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, returning Emma's hug after a moment of surprise. "It's good to see you too."

"I was so glad to hear that you and Derek both finally came to your senses," Emma said with a warm smile, wrapping her arm around Meredith. "Now, I want to hear all about your trip."

Meredith smiled as Emma walked her back into the house. Derek shook his head as he watched Meredith walk into the house with his mother who had welcomed her back as if nothing had ever happened between the two of them.

"I see the two of you are better than ever," Michael smiled as he leaned against the railing of the porch beside the grill.

"That we are," Derek said as he climbed the steps to hug his father. "Good to see you, Dad."

"You too, son," Michael said, clapping Derek on the back. "How was the trip? Did you make it to the Motherland?"

"Absolutely amazing," Derek sighed, reaching for a beer from the cooler. "We saw the church."

"Amazing, isn't it?" Michael asked.

"It was something else," Derek nodded. "And everywhere we went…Mer was just completely in love with every single place we went and it was completely amazing, just watching her enjoy it."

"I'm glad you had fun," Michael nodded.

"I don't really remember if I ever said thanks for that day," Derek said. "Bringing me the tickets. If you hadn't found me, I would have missed the plane, and I would have no idea what I would have done."

"You're welcome," Michael laughed. "I'm just glad to see the two of you back together again. And now your mother can stop worrying about you becoming an alcoholic."

"I wasn't an alcoholic," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Pretty damn close," Michael shook his head. "Can't say I'd blame you, though. If anything ever happened between your mom and me…well, I'd probably clean out the entire liquor store in one stop."

"You and Mom love each other, nothing will happen," Derek smiled. "Just like Mer and me."

"You're right," Michael nodded. "God knows I'd be lost without that woman."

"Are the burgers done yet, Mike?" Emma called from the doorway.

"Pretty much, Em-jem," he said. "We'll be right in."

Derek smiled as he helped his dad pull the burgers off the grill. "I hope Mer and I will be like you two in thirty years," he said.

"You will be," Michael nodded. "I have faith in that."

Derek opened the door to the kitchen, smiling as he saw Meredith sitting at the table, Meg in her lap as his sisters gathered around her, admiring her hand.

"Uncle Derek!" Meg cried, jumping off of Meredith's lap to run into his arm.

"Wow, you've gotten so big!" Derek exclaimed scooping her into his arms. "I don't think you can be my favorite little girl anymore. More like my favorite big girl."

"Aunt Meredith says that you loooooooove her," Meg said.

"I do," Derek smiled as he shifted his gaze to Meredith.

"That's the bestest news ever!" Meg exclaimed. "Even better than my new brother or sister."

The room went silent, despite the clattering of Emma's knife to the counter, as all eyes turned to Kathleen who looked at Meg with stern eyes.

"Megan Elizabeth, I thought we had a deal," she said sternly.

"Sorry Mommy," Meg said softly.

"You're pregnant?" Emma asked, wiping her hands on a dish towel before she moved to her daughter's side.

"Yes," Kathleen said, unable to hide her smile as she reached for Chris's hand. "Six weeks. We were going to wait until we reached the second trimester, but we have a little blabbermouth living with us."

Meg scrambled out of Derek's arms to reach her mother's side. "I'm sorry, Mommy," she whispered, climbing onto her lap and rubbing her stomach. "Sorry baby brother."

"It's okay," Kathleen sighed, pressing a kiss to her daughter's head.

"And remember sweetheart, we don't know if it's a boy or a girl," Chris added, reaching out to tug gently on his daughter's pigtail.

"I know," Meg sighed.

"Keep up with the hoping for a boy," Derek said, moving to press a kiss to the top of Kathleen's head. "We need more testosterone around here."

"Stop being an idiot," Meredith giggled.

"I'm offended," Derek frowned.

"Well, maybe I'd stop saying it if you stopped being stupid," Meredith smiled, reaching up to kiss him.

"So are you just going to let her talk to you like that?" Nancy asked as she held her son against her shoulder.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Nancy Elaine, don't start," Emma warned.

"Mom, she's totally degrading him," Nancy replied. "She broke up with him for months, then takes advantage of him so she can get a free trip to Europe, and then she talks to him like she hates him. It's totally unfair."

"I was just kidding," Meredith whispered.

"Don't worry about Nancy," Derek said, squeezing her hand. "She's just bitter."

"Nance, Derek's happy," Michael said, squeezing his daughter's shoulder. "That should make you happy."

"Whatever," Nancy shrugged. "I have to change him."

Caitlin watched her older sister walk out of the room before she turned to Meredith. "Don't worry, Meredith," she said. "Nancy's always been the mean one."

"Don't make fun of your sister," Michael said.

"No, she has every reason to hate me," Meredith said. "I hurt Derek, and you don't have to pretend to be nice to me. You all probably hate me, and if you want….I'll just leave and Derek can come here by himself. Cause I love him and I'm not leaving, but you all hate me so…he can just come here by himself."

"Nonsense," Emma rolled her eyes as she sat down at the table, a plate of burgers in the middle of the table beside the macaroni salad and the Caesar salad. "You belong here just as much as anyone else at this table."

"And I like you more than Nancy anyways," Liz laughed.

"Me too," Derek laughed as he pressed a kiss to the side of her head.

"Now, let's stop making fun of your sister," Michael said. "We want to hear all about the trip."

"How was Paris?" Caitlin breathed.

"Oh, Paris was great," Derek smirked, winking at Meredith. "One of our favorites."

"Nice, Shep," Chris nodded, clearing his throat as Kathleen slapped the back of his head. "I mean…I hear that's a great city."

"It is," Meredith blushed.

"My favorite is the Eiffel tower," Derek announced.

"I so don't want to know why," Liz breathed.

"Okay, new conversation," Meredith blushed. "Baby. Kathleen's having a baby. Let's talk about that."

Derek laughed as he leaned closer to Meredith, wrapping an arm around her as they caught up with his family. Despite Nancy's reaction to Meredith being back in his life, she had fit in again perfectly into his life, into his family.

XXXXX

"I'm telling you, she hates me," Meredith sighed as she walked up to her house, Derek trailing her suitcase behind him.

"Nancy hates everyone," Derek rolled his eyes. "Don't worry about it."

"How can I not worry about it?" Meredith asked. "Your family hates me."

"Mer, my mom spent more time talking to you than me," Derek laughed as she dug through her purse for her keys. "And Meg refused to leave your lap after dinner. And I'm pretty sure if Chris wasn't completely in love with my sister, I'd have some serious competition."

"That's disturbing," Meredith stated as she opened the door.

"Oh my God, you're back!" Lexie squealed as she ran into the foyer.

"Hi Lex," Meredith giggled as she hugged her sister. "How are you?"

"I'm fine, but I want to hear about you," Lexie giggled, moving to hug Derek. "How was your trip? And you're back together for good, right? Everything's okay now?"

"Everything's fine," Meredith smiled. "The trip was amazing."

"Show her the ring, Mer," Derek grinned.

"There's a ring?" Lexie squealed, reaching for Meredith's left hand. "You guys are engaged?"

"No," Meredith smiled, holding out her right hand. "We're promised or something."

"Derek," Lexie gasped. "This is beautiful. It's from Ireland?"

"It is," Derek smiled, leaning closer to examine the ring closer himself. "I snuck out and bought it one afternoon."

"You didn't sneak, you said you were going to buy condoms," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Well…I made up for it by giving it to you in a completely romantic way," Derek defended.

"Tell me about it," Lexie breathed, reaching for Meredith's hand and pulling her towards the living room.

"Don't worry about me, I'll just unpack for you," Derek said, left alone in the middle of the hallway.

"Don't be dramatic," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Lex, would you be okay if it was just you and Izzie in the house?"

"Where are you going?" Lexie asked.

"Derek and I want to move in together," Meredith smiled, reaching for Derek's hand. "We're going to get an apartment in between the hospital and the school."

"That's so exciting," Lexie sighed. "Iz and I will have to get another roommate, but we'll make it work."

"Are you sure?' Meredith asked.

"Definitely," Lexie smiled. "And this way I'll be sure to get sleep every night."

"Why do I think that was a sarcastic remark about me?" Derek frowned.

"You're just loud," Lexie sighed. "And seeing as I don't have a boyfriend right now, the last thing I need is to listen to my sister scream all night long."

"Okay, why is everyone interested in talking about my sex life?" Meredith asked.

"Maybe because you have a lot of sex," Lexie pointed out.

"She's right, Mer," Derek laughed.

"We so need our own place," Meredith muttered. "And we're not having sex until we get one."

"What?" Derek frowned as Lexie laughed.

"I'm sick of people making those stupid comments," Meredith shrugged, a sparkle in her eyes. "So no sex."

Derek frowned before he leaned forward, cupping her cheek gently as he pressed his lips against hers in a passionate kiss. "Now what do you think?" he asked when he pulled away.

"I think…I'm ready for bed," Meredith smiled. "To sleep."

"Fine," Derek scowled. "I can go without it longer than you can anyways."

"Yeah right," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"You think you'll last longer than me?" Derek laughed.

"I do," Meredith nodded. "And we'll bet on it."

"Bet?" Derek asked.

"Two weeks," Meredith said. "Whoever breaks first is the other's sex slave for a month."

Derek stared at her for a moment before he nodded. "You're on," he said, reaching out to shake her hand. "And I'm so going to win."


	34. Chapter 34

Meredith Grey was evil.

Derek had decided that a few days ago when she'd come to bed completely naked, claiming that it was too hot for clothes. But now, as she stepped out of the bathroom in nothing but a pair of stiletto heels, he now knew that she was a completely evil and manipulative person who was just evil.

"Mer," he moaned. "What the hell are you doing?"

"What?" Meredith frowned. "Oh, these?" she asked, stretching her long legs to show off how much the heels elongated her legs. "Izzie said I should wear them to your intern mixer thing. So I figured I'd try them on, you know…break them in."

Derek didn't say a word as he stared at her, trying to think of anything besides taking her hard against the wall. "Oh," he managed to choke out.

"Is this…bothering you?" Meredith breathed, leaning casually against the wall and bending one leg so her foot rested against the wall.

"No," Derek whimpered, trying to avert his gaze from the wetness on her thighs.

"Good," Meredith nodded. "Because I seem to remember something about a fantasy having to do with high heels. So I'm glad you're not bothered, because I wouldn't want you to be uncomfortable at all."

"Nope," Derek shook his head, his hand casually moving down to the bulge beneath his flannel pajamas that were definitely uncomfortable.

"Okay," Meredith smiled as she stepped closer to the bed. "Because I really need to practice. Walking in the shoes I mean."

"Right," Derek nodded. "I'm um…shower."

"What's the matter?" Meredith breathed as her hands moved through her hair, shaking her head so her waves pooled around her shoulders. "Are you…dirty? You look very dirty."

"God, Meredith," Derek groaned as he rolled out of bed and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door closed behind him.

Meredith giggled softly as she slid out of the uncomfortable shoes, knowing that she was going to win. There was no way she would cave before Derek did. She knew way too many of his fantasies, and she barely knew any of his. She'd already had fun this past week, and she still had another week of complete torture lined up for him.

She smiled as she slid into one of his t-shirts and listened to the moans coming from behind the closed door of the bathroom.

Derek squeezed his eyes closed as he pumped his fist around his erection, imagining Meredith's body around his as he released into his hand. This was getting ridiculous, and he had to do something about this. Meredith was playing games, and he'd tried to play fair, but after the third night in a row of taking care of himself in the bathroom, he knew that he was going to have to stoop to her level.

Two could play her little game.

He washed his hands and took a deep breath as he opened the door, smiling brightly at Meredith.

"Everything okay?" she asked from her place on the bed.

"Fine," Derek nodded. "I um…the heels look good. You should definitely wear them."

"I'm glad you like them," she giggled.

"I'm going to sleep now," Derek announced.

"Me too," she smiled coyly.

"Goodnight."

"Goodnight," she breathed, running her foot along his calf.

Derek bit back a groan as he tried to control his arousal. Tomorrow. He would definitely get his revenge tomorrow.

XXXXX

"Morning Mer," Izzie smiled ass she walked into the kitchen the following morning.

"Morning," Meredith smiled from her place at the kitchen table.

"Where's Derek?" Izzie asked.

"He had to run out to his dad's store," Meredith giggled. "Or so he says."

"What did you do now?" Izzie asked as she poured a cup of coffee and sat down beside her at the table.

"Well, he may have walked out of the shower this morning to find me…taking care of myself," Meredith giggled. "I so didn't realize it would be this fun."

"Well, I just hope you two get an apartment before this bet thing is over," Izzie sighed. "I do not want to hear the reunion sex."

"We've got a lease in the works," Meredith smiled. "Don't worry."

Before Izzie could respond, Lexie rushed into the kitchen, breathless and smiling. "There's a shirtless band in our living room," she said.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"Derek…guitar…friends…no shirts," Lexie breathed before she turned to run out of the room.

"What is she talking about?" Meredith asked.

"I don't know, but if there are shirtless guys in our living room I'm not going to waste my time sitting in here," Izzie said, rushing towards the door.

Meredith followed at a slower pace, her eyes narrowing as she saw Derek sitting in the armchair, guitar strapped over his shoulder as he tuned it. A couple other guys were setting up their instruments as well, but Meredith's eyes remained focused on her boyfriend.

"Hey Mer," he said, smirking slightly as he caught her eyes. "It's okay if we practice here, right?"

"Definitely," Lexie answered for her.

"Totally okay," Izzie nodded.

"Fine," Meredith said, knowing what he was up to. "I have to go take a shower anyways."

"Actually, we've got a new song," Derek said, glancing at Mark. "We could really use an audience to see how it goes."

"Fine," Meredith rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms over her chest, staring up at the ceiling for a moment.

"Everyone ready?" Derek asked before he began playing, his eyes focused on Meredith the entire time. He knew she loved when he played, and every time he strapped on a guitar in front of her he was guaranteed wild sex. So that combined with his shirtless body and the air conditioning he'd turned off earlier, this was sure to get her just as worked up as those damn heels had him last night.

Meredith shifted uncomfortably on her feet as her eyes remained focused on Derek, trying to ignore the dull ache between her legs as she watched his strong hands carefully cradle his guitar. She knew how perfectly those hands could touch her body, and she swallowed hard as she watched the sweat appear on his chest. In that moment she wanted nothing more than to be pressed up against that sweaty body, feeling him crush her between his hard body and the soft mattress.

"Mer?" Lexie frowned from beside her. "You okay?"

"Fine," Meredith breathed, trying to control her panting. "Just um…hot."

"Okay," Lexie said, and Meredith turned back to Derek, hating the smug look on his face.

"I'll be right back," she said, going into the kitchen. She appeared a moment later with a cup of pudding, sticking the spoon into her mouth and meeting Derek's heated gaze. He blinked in surprise as she slowly drew the spoon out of her mouth, running her tongue over its surface as she tried to make sure she had every drop of pudding. She giggled inwardly as she noticed Derek's playing begin to slow down, and she scooped more pudding onto the spoon, gently moving it inside her mouth, mimicking his actions when he was inside her, and she saw Derek groan loudly.

"Dude, what the hell is your problem?" Mark asked suddenly.

"What?" Derek asked.

"You just stopped playing," Mark replied. "What gives?"

"I uh…" Derek stammered for a response and Meredith giggled as she turned towards the stairs. She'd totally won that round.

XXXXXX

"How's your band?" she giggled a couple hours later as he came into her bedroom where she was folding clothes and putting them into moving boxes.

"You're evil," Derek stated. He looked at her for a moment before he grabbed her around the waist, pinning her to him as he kissed her passionately.

"Derek," she moaned as she pressed her hands against his sweaty chest, feeling his erection press into her. "Hmm…"

Derek's hand traveled to her thigh, pulling it up to hook around his waist as he continued to kiss her passionately. After a moment, he felt her pull away and whisper, "Are you giving in?"

"No?" Derek said, more of a question than a statement, and he groaned as he felt her remove her leg from his hip and move back to the pile of clothes on her bed. "What… what are you doing?"

"Packing," she giggled. "They said the apartment would be ready by the day after tomorrow."

"Right," Derek sighed, finding a clear spot on the bed and collapsing onto it. "You sure you're ready for this?"

"What?" she asked, pulling another drawer open and dumping its contents onto the bed.

"Living together," Derek said.

"Derek, Mark's living with Addison now," Meredith said. "You've been living here since we got back. And we were in Europe for two months, I somehow managed to put up with you then. I think I'm ready.

"As long as you're sure," Derek said. "I don't want to rush you."

"Derek," she smiled. "It was my idea. I can't wait to live with you. In our amazing apartment with a balcony in our bedroom and Jacuzzi in our bathroom. I want this, Derek, I promise."

"Good," he nodded.

"Oh, by the way…turning off the air conditioning so you'd get all hot and sweaty? Very creative," Meredith giggled.

"Well, I'm pretty sure Travis nearly had a heart attack when you were eating your pudding," Derek replied. "Seriously, Mer, only you could make that dirty."

Meredith smiled as she leaned over the bed to kiss him. "You usually like the dirty," she breathed in his ear.

"Oh, I love the dirty," Derek smiled softly. "We could do something very dirty right now."

"I'm not giving in," she smiled as she leaned over him to reach for the ringing phone on his side of the bed. "Hello?"

Derek smiled as she spoke quietly into the phone, moving his lips to her neck as he inched his hand underneath her shirt, pushing her bra aside to cup her breast tightly in his hand. She pushed his hand away and shot him a dirty look, but he simply moved his hand back, enjoying the fact that he was torturing her for once.

"Okay, thank you," Meredith said before she hung up the phone and slapped Derek's hand out from under her shirt. "Take a shower," she ordered.

"Excuse me?" Derek laughed, leaning forward to kiss her neck again.

"Take a shower," Meredith giggled. "Because our apartment's ready early."

Derek pulled back to look at her, excitement gleaming in his eyes. "Seriously?" he asked.

"Seriously," Meredith smiled. "We can move in today."

Derek pressed a kiss to her cheek before he moved to grab a shirt, pulling it over his head. "I'll shower after we've moved," he said. "At our apartment."

"Our apartment, Der," she breathed, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"We're really doing this?" Derek asked.

"We really are," Meredith giggled, reaching for his hand. "Come on, Lex and Izzie will help."

Derek couldn't help the smile that stretched across his face at the sight of Meredith's excitement. He hadn't anticipated that they would find an apartment this easily, and now that they could move in early, this was definitely perfect. Even if she was torturing him with this stupid bet, this was entirely perfect.

XXXXXX

"I can't believe we're here," Meredith sighed into his chest later that night. Their apartment was entirely empty, save for a bed and a couch, but they had spent the entire day shuttling boxes over to their new home, and the next day was entirely devoted to shopping for furniture.

"Me either," Derek sighed, tightening his arms around her.

"I don't want to go back to work," Meredith sighed, throwing her leg over his and moving as close as she possibly could.

"Let's not talk about work," Derek sighed, ducking his head down to hers.

Meredith was silent as she picked up his hand, playing with his fingers for a moment before she whispered, "Are you nervous?"

"Yeah," he breathed. "I'm…I have no idea how to be a doctor, Mer."

"Derek, you graduated first in your class from med school," she said. "You can't be any more ready than that."

"It's terrifying," he whispered. "Being responsible for other people's lives, operating on them…I don't know if I'm ready."

"I don't think anyone's really ready before they have to do it," Meredith replied. "You can't freak out over this, Derek. You're a smart man, you know what you're doing. And you have so much compassion, you'll have an amazing bedside manner."

"I'm glad you think that," he laughed, pressing a kiss to her head. "I just hope my resident thinks so too."

"Internship is supposed to be hard," Meredith sighed. "But you'll get through it. I promise."

"I'm so glad I have you," he whispered. "I don't think I could do it without you."

"You could," Meredith smiled. "You'd be completely miserable, but you could do it. Because you're you."

"I love how much confidence you have in me," Derek said softly.

"I love that you're letting me see you like this," Meredith whispered.

"Like what?" Derek frowned.

"Vulnerable," Meredith sighed. "You're always so strong and confident in yourself. I love that you trust me enough to not be strong around me."

Derek tightened his arms around her. "I love you, Mer," he said softly. "And I can be myself around you, who I truly am. That's big."

She was quiet for a moment before she whispered, "I trust you, Derek."

He blinked for a moment before he pulled back to look closely at her. "You do?" he asked.

She nodded as she reached up to press a kiss to his lips. "I do," she sighed. "I hate that we lost all that time, and it took awhile for me to be able to trust you again, but right now, in this moment…I feel completely and totally safe. And I know that you'll never hurt me again. And as long as we're together, we can face whatever else life throws at us."

Derek leaned down to kiss her firmly. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she replied, resting her head on his chest as she allowed herself to finally feel truly safe for the first time in months.


	35. Chapter 35

Derek paced the floor of their bedroom, a week later, running a hand through his hair. Meredith was still getting ready in the bathroom, and in a few minutes they would go to his intern mixer so that he could meet the people he was going to work with for his residency. He'd meet his bosses, and then this whole entire thing would become completely real.

"Mer, come on," he called. "We're going to be late."

"Relax," she called through the door. "No one ever gets to these things on time. And you do not want to be the loser who shows up first."

"Well, thanks for looking out for me," Derek laughed.

"No problem," she giggled as she opened the door and stepped into the bedroom. "How do I look?"

Derek stared at her for a moment, completely forgetting completely everything besides the way her dress dipped down to reveal the perfect amount of cleavage, the way it just barely grazed her knees. A pair of black heels made her a couple inches taller, almost eye level with him and her hair fell around her shoulders in gentle waves. "Wow," he breathed.

Meredith smiled as she turned in a slow circle so he could get the full effect of the dress. "You like?" she asked.

"You look…hot," Derek breathed.

"Good," she smiled, turning to him. "You don't look so bad yourself."

"I'm wearing your favorite shirt," Derek smiled as she moved closer to him.

"Your good looking shirt," she nodded as she smoothed the collar down.

"I'm always good looking," Derek breathed against her lips.

"Sure," she smiled. "Come on, Dr. Shepherd. You've still got to last until midnight before the bet is over."

Derek groaned slightly, trying to ignore the seductive way in which she called him Dr. Shepherd. Five hours. He could wait five more hours before he could make passionate love to her.

"You okay?" she giggled as she settled into the car, her dress riding up on her thigh a little higher than it needed to.

"Fine," Derek groaned. "But if all my colleagues get the wrong impression of me, it's your fault."

"Oh, I don't think that," she said, eyeing the bulge in his black dress pants, "will ever give off the wrong impression."

"Glad you think so," Derek laughed shakily.

"But I'm banning you right now from on call rooms," Meredith continued.

"What?" Derek asked. "Why?"

"Derek, I'm not even a doctor and I know that on call rooms are used for sex, not sleeping," Meredith replied. "So you're not allowed in them."

"You said you trusted me," Derek pointed out.

"I do," Meredith nodded. "It's the slutty nurses I don't trust."

"Fine," Derek nodded. "I'll just…sleep in the conference rooms."

"Good," Meredith giggled. "But you know…if I ever feel the need to come visit you at the hospital, I think I can wave the no on call room rule."

"Well, let's be grateful for that at least," Derek laughed, pulling into the parking lot. "Mer…" he breathed, turning to look at her.

"You're going to be fine," she said softly, reaching to cup his cheek. "I love you. And you're going to be an amazing doctor, Derek."

"Thank you," he whispered softly. "I love you too."

"I know," she smiled, leaning forward to kiss him softly. "Let's go."

They met at the front of the car, Derek taking her hand as they walked into the reception hall, immediately surrounded by doctors. "Oh," he breathed.

"You're going to do fine," she whispered. "I'm here."

"All I need," Derek smiled, squeezing her hand. "Drink?"

"Tequila," she nodded.

"Sure," Derek nodded, moving towards the bar.

Meredith wrapped her arms protectively around her torso as she watched Derek walk towards the bar. He was definitely hot, and it was everything she could do not to run over and throw him onto the surface of the bar. She'd been living with a dull ache for him for the past two weeks, and she couldn't wait to feel him inside of her again, pushing deep into her as his hands ran over her entire body.

"Looking good, Grey," a voice said from behind her, and she turned to see Mark approaching her, Addison's hand linked loosely through his.

"Mark," she rolled her eyes.

"That's no way to greet me," Mark frowned. "I'm a doctor, you should bow at my feet in awe."

"You were an idiot well before you were a doctor," Meredith stated.

"I'm offended," Mark said.

"She's right," Addison giggled.

"Okay, you need to stop talking," Mark said. "Or else I'll be like Shep over there and withhold sex."

"Please," Addison rolled her eyes. "You wouldn't last."

"I would," Mark nodded.

"Really?" Addison raised an eyebrow. "So if I told you that I wanted to go check out the on rest rooms right now, you'd say no?"

Mark stared at her for a moment before he rolled his eyes and grabbed her hand. "Let's go."

Meredith giggled as she watched them walk away, smiling as she felt Derek press a glass into her hands. "Thanks," she smiled, knocking the shot back.

"Mark's already having sex?" Derek laughed.

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded. "You should mingle, Der."

"Have to show you off," he smiled, pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

"I think the point is to show yourself off," Meredith giggled.

Before Derek could respond, Kathleen approached them, smiling widely. "Hi," she exclaimed. "Derbear, I didn't know you were going to bring Mer."

"Don't call me that here," Derek rolled his eyes. "What are you even doing here, you're not a surgeon."

"Psych gets interns too," Kathleen rolled her eyes. "But I'm so glad there's someone I actually like here. Derbear, you go mingle while I talk to Mer."

Derek frowned. "I'm beginning to think that you like my girlfriend more than me," he said.

"I do," Kathleen nodded. "Now go. Meredith doesn't need to make small talk. You do."

"Fine," Derek sighed. "You'll be okay?" he asked Meredith.

"I'll be fine," she smiled.

"Good," he nodded, taking a deep breath before he moved towards the crowd.

"How are you feeling?" Meredith asked Kathleen as they settled onto a couch.

"Pretty good," Kathleen sighed. "Although I forgot how horrible these things are without alcohol."

"I can't even imagine," Meredith sighed. "My mom used to come to this stuff all the time. She dragged me a couple times, but I always hated it."

"And now you have to come because of Derek," Kathleen nodded.

"I didn't have to come," Meredith shook her head. "I wanted to."

"You're crazy," Kathleen laughed.

"I only wanted to tease Derek," she giggled. "He actually thinks he can last longer without sex than I can."

"Too much information," Kathleen winced.

"Sorry," Meredith said, glancing over at Derek as he chatted with an older man across the room. He glanced over at her, and she smiled slyly, crossing her legs so that her dress inched up her thigh, causing Derek's eyes to widen slightly. He lifted his drink up his lips, downing the rest of it without taking his eyes off of her.

"You're evil," Kathleen laughed.

"I know," she giggled. "Although it hasn't exactly been easy for me either. Derek's pretty hot."

"And this is where I really wish I had alcohol," Kathleen sighed.

"I'm stopping," Meredith smiled. "Is Meg excited for second grade?"

As Kathleen launched into a long rant about Meg's preparation for a new school year, Meredith's eyes wandered back to Derek. A younger woman with dark brown hair had joined the group, and Meredith's eyes narrowed as she watched the woman inch closer to Derek. She knew he wouldn't do anything with any other women, but she still didn't like the way the woman was advancing on him. He looked especially hot tonight, and she didn't want anyone to think that he wasn't completely spoken for.

"Sorry Kath," she murmured. "I um..I have to go do something."

Kathleen's eyes trailed over to Derek and she nodded knowingly. "I see," she said, getting to her feet. "I should meet some interns anyways."

Meredith walked over to the bar and ordered another shot of tequila before she made her way back to where Derek was standing with the stupid hot woman. "Hey," she said, appearing at his side and sliding her arm around his waist.

"Ah, Meredith," Derek smiled, turning to her. "This is Dr. Torres. She's going to be an intern with me. Dr. Torres, this is my girlfriend, Meredith Grey."

"Nice to meet you," Callie smiled as she shook Meredith's hand. "Are you a surgeon too?"

"Oh no," Meredith smiled. "I'm not a doctor. I'm just arm candy for Dr. Shepherd here."

"Oh," Callie nodded as Derek frowned down at her. "Well, I'm going to go get some more drinks. It was nice to meet you, Dr. Shepherd."

"You too," Derek said distractedly as he looked down at Meredith.

"Derek," she breathed as she moved closer to him.

"Hmmm," he groaned, pulling her close.

"We…can you leave yet?"

Derek swallowed hard as he looked around the room, his gaze finally settling on her, taking in her flushed features. "I think I'm supposed to stay for more than half an hour," he breathed, trying to figure out how stupid he actually was.

Meredith frowned for a moment as she reached between them to gently graze the bulge in his pants. "Okay," she finally said. "I think I need another drink."

Derek watched as she made her way towards the bar, hopping onto a stool as she leaned across the counter. She glanced over her shoulder, offering him a sly smile before she reached for the glass the bartender was being offered to her. She was so incredibly sexy, and he was quickly starting to realize that ending this stupid bet with her would be completely worth not socializing with anyone he would be working with.

He started to make his way over to the bar where she sat, stopping when a woman stopped in front of him, offering her hand. "Hi, I'm Kristen Peters," she said. "I'm going to be an intern."

Derek groaned inwardly as he offered his own greeting, his eyes still on Meredith as she leaned against the bar, watching him as she sipped her drink through a straw. Torture, this was complete torture.

From the bar, Meredith watched as Derek shifted uncomfortably on his feet, obviously not paying attention to the woman who was speaking to him. She caught his eye, casually leaning forward to offer him a glance at the cleavage her dress had to offer, and she smiled slyly as she watched him pull at the collar of his shirt.

"Hi," she heard a voice say from beside her. "I'm George."

Meredith tore her eyes away from Derek to look at the baby faced man sitting beside her and smiled politely. "Hi," she said.

"Your dress is really…great. I mean it's very…flattering or something," George stammered, and Meredith shrugged.

"Thanks," she said.

"Are you an intern?" George asked. "Cause I am. It's pretty crazy, isn't it? That we're going to be doctors tomorrow."

"I'm not a doctor," she shook her head. "I'm here with my boyfriend."

"Oh," George nodded, deflating slightly. "I'll um…let you get back to him."

"It's okay," she smiled slightly. "He's off showing himself off. Tell me about yourself. Are you an intern?"

"Oh, well, I'm a surgical intern…" George started talking, and Meredith looked beyond him to meet Derek's gaze.

He was staring at her with smoldering eyes, not jealous, just turned on. She met his gaze full on, nodding along with George as he spoke but her eyes completely focused on Derek as he stared back at her with wide eyes.

"You know what, I'm really sorry, but I forgot something in my car," she said as she turned back to George and slurped the last of her drink down. "It was really nice to meet you."

George blinked in surprise as Meredith slid off the stool, making her way towards the door.

"Excuse me," Derek said, coughing slightly as he moved towards the door himself. "I've got to, um…get something from my car."

As soon as Derek was out the door, he was pulled into an alley by a tiny arm. He stumbled slightly before he realized that it was Meredith who was kissing him passionately and wrapping a leg around his waist.

"Mer," he breathed.

"I'm not giving in," she breathed against his lips as he pinned her against the wall of the building.

"Me either," he murmured.

"Good," Meredith nodded.

"Not…we have to wait until midnight," Derek whispered, reaching under her skirt to pull her panties down.

"Public," Meredith murmured as she reached for his belt buckle.

"So….wrong," he moaned, moving his lips to her neck.

"Derek," she moaned quietly, rubbing her body against his.

"I'm still not giving in," Derek breathed in her ear, entering her for a moment before pulling out.

"No…no giving in," Meredith shook her head as she raised her hips to lower herself onto him.

"Oh my God," Derek moaned, thrusting fast and hard into her.

"Yes," she groaned, throwing her head back as she let the incredible pleasure of him being inside of her completely overtake her.

Derek continued to move inside of her, losing himself in the incredible feeling of her warmth surrounding him. This intern mixer wasn't so bad after all.


	36. Chapter 36

"What time is it?" Meredith mumbled as Derek stirred beside her the next morning.

"Six thirty," Derek whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Go back to sleep, I'm just getting in the shower."

"No," she sighed, sitting up. "You…have to go to work."

"I know," Derek smiled. "But you don't have to wake up. I'll call you on my lunch break."

"It's okay," she sighed, sitting up. "You go take a shower. I'll…make breakfast or something."

"Please don't," Derek laughed.

"I think I can pour cereal into a bowl," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Get in the shower. And brush your teeth before you kiss me again."

"Bossy," Derek laughed as he slid out of bed and moved towards the bathroom, the water starting a moment later.

Meredith giggled as she reached for one of his t-shirts. "Just shower, Dr. Shepherd," she giggled. She walked into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, turning to look into their small living room as she did so.

Their apartment was small, but they didn't need much room. They'd bought a couch and TV, and Derek had insisted on purchasing a leather recliner, ignoring Meredith's protests that he was never going to be home to sit in it. Their kitchen table, too small to actually fit in the kitchen, sat beside the island counter that divided the kitchen from the living room, and their bedroom door peeked open from beside the TV on the other side of the room. She sighed as she settled down at the table, looking at the pictures of Europe that Derek had developed and framed the day after they'd moved in.

She'd lived here for less than a week, but she already felt more at home here than she had anywhere else. She and Derek had made this apartment their own, and she completely loved it.

"Hey," Derek sighed as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head on his way into the kitchen.

"You nervous?" she asked as she watch him place a frying pan on the stove and pull a carton of eggs out of the fridge.

"A little," he sighed. "It's just my first shift, though. I'll run labs, learn my way around the hospital. Probably nothing too major. They'll just torture us unmercifully, make sure we know we're nothing."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded, moving to stand beside him and wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her chin on his shoulder as he cracked the eggs into the pan. "And you'll be home tomorrow night?"

Derek smiled as he leaned into her comforting warmth. He still couldn't believe that the word home was associated with Meredith, and would be forever. "Wednesday morning," he corrected with a sigh. "Forty eight hours."

"Which sucks," Meredith frowned.

"It won't be so bad when you're back at work," he smiled, scooping some scrambled eggs onto a plate for her, then one for himself. "What are your plans for the next couple days?"

"I have a meeting with the other teachers in my unit tomorrow," she said. "I'll probably go in tomorrow, air out my classroom and set everything up."

"Good," Derek nodded. "Every free moment I have…I'll call you."

"Well that will be awkward to explain to my date tonight," Meredith giggled, moving to the table.

"Not funny," Derek frowned.

Meredith sighed as she watched him shove the last of his eggs into his mouth. "I'll miss you," she admitted quietly.

Derek smiled as he reached to pour his coffee into a travel mug. "I'll miss you too," he said. "You want to meet for lunch tomorrow?"

"Sure," she nodded. "I'll even bring you real food."

"Oh, well, that just seals the deal," Derek smiled, leaning down to press his lips against hers. "Bye."

"Good luck," she whispered against his lips. "You'll do fine."

"I love you," Derek whispered against his lips. "I'll talk to you later."

"I love you too," Meredith smiled, gently pushing him towards the door. "Go save a life."

He smiled softly as he walked out the door, leaving Meredith to watch him with a smile as he opened the door. "Derek," she said, causing him to turn around and look at him with expectant eyes. "I'm proud of you."

Derek nodded slowly, smiling at her. "Thank you," he smiled before he turned to walk out the door, leaving Meredith to turn back to the kitchen, a small smile playing on her lips.

XXXXX

Meredith sighed as she flicked the lights on in her classroom, looking at the large room that had been her second home for the past two years. This was the place where she'd first asserted her independence, really created a life of her own, and where she had finally felt that she was actually making a difference in the world. This was where she'd first met Derek, where she'd realized that she was completely in love with him, and where she'd realized that she had to be with him, even if it was terrifying.

This was her home away from home.

She threw her purse onto her desk and walked back to the storage closet in the back of the room, searching for her back to school decorations. As she pulled a box down from the top shelf, she heard a knock on the door and she turned to look at it, her heart suddenly pounding as she saw Andrew.

"Andrew," she breathed, stepping forward, clutching the box tightly in her hands. "I um…hi."

"Hi," he said softly. "You…you look really great."

"Thanks," she said softly. "You too."

"I stopped by your house last week," he said. "I was going to tell you that I got a full time job here."

"Oh," she said. "I actually moved closer to the school."

"So I heard," he nodded, moving closer into the room. "Did you go to Europe with Derek?"

"I did," Meredith smiled softly, twisting her ring around her right finger. "It was wonderful."

"I'm glad you're happy," Andrew said. "Derek's a lucky man."

Meredith blushed softly. "He says so too."

"I'm glad he knows it," Andrew said. "It was always him."

"I'm sorry," Meredith sighed, stepping closer to him. "I tried to move on from Derek with you, Andrew, I really did. And I hope that you can find happiness someday. Someday soon."

"I hope so too," Andrew said. "I know this is awkward, but since we'll be working together, I thought we should just be on good terms."

"You're right," Meredith nodded.

"So I just want to make sure that we can be professional," Andrew nodded, shifting his weight awkwardly.

"We can," she nodded. "We're adults, we can be friends."

"Friends," Andrew nodded slightly. "I think that might be stretching it."

"Oh," Meredith frowned, suddenly realizing how much she had really hurt him. "I really am sorry. But you had to know that we were never really good together. It was fun, but nothing serious."

"We were good together," Andrew nodded sadly. "Just not as good as you and Derek are."

Meredith sighed softly. "Yeah," she said. "Derek and I…it's pretty hard to get better than that."

"I'm going to get back to work," Andrew said, turning towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow," Meredith echoed quietly, watching him leave. Her whirlwind summer in Europe with Derek to her overwhelming excitement at being back with him and anticipation of their future together, she hadn't had much time to think about the fact that Andrew had probably been completely destroyed by the breakup of a relationship he had been much more invested in than she was.

She dropped into her desk chair for a moment, wanting nothing more than to turn to Derek and tell him everything that was running through her head. She had never realized how much she completely needed him to make her feel safe, and now that he was at the hospital, unable to respond to her phone calls, she wasn't sure exactly what she should do when she needed him.

With a deep breath, she shook her head and reached for her box of back to school supplies, knowing that she was becoming pathetic. She was in love with Derek, and she couldn't imagine her life without him anymore, but that didn't mean she had to give up being her own person. She was still Meredith Grey, and she needed to figure out how to be an independent person in a relationship instead of a dependant half of a relationship. She needed to be her own person, with Derek but not apart of him.

XXXXXX

"And I might even get to scrub in," Derek grinned at lunch later that day as he shoved another bite of salad into his mouth, sitting at a table with Mark and Addison.

"Lucky you," Addison sighed. "I ran labs all day."

"I was in the ER," Mark offered. "Saw some real action."

Derek grinned as he downed the rest of his water. "I love being a doctor," he announced. "I have to call Mer."

"How's Grey doing?" Mark asked.

"Amazing," Derek smiled. "She's been so great about understanding everything I need for my internship."

"We should have dinner sometime," Addison said. "We haven't even seen your apartment yet."

"No offense, Addie, but I'm pretty sure Grey still remembers the time you tried to be Derek's girlfriend," Mark snorted. "You're probably not her favorite person."

"No, Mer gets it," Derek shook his head. "I told her all about that stupid plan you and Lexie thought was a stroke of genius."

Addison rolled her eyes. "We were just trying to help," she said. "Anyways, she knows that Mark's it for me."

Derek smirked as he watched his best friend reach over to squeeze Addison's hand. "I can have my sister check you out if you want," he offered. "She's a psychologist, so she might be able to figure out exactly why you love him."

"Funny, Shep," Mark rolled his eyes.

"I have to go call Mer," Derek grinned, stuffing his last bite of salad into his mouth and standing before he even finished chewing.

"Remember to lock the door before you start jacking off," Mark smirked.

Derek rolled his eyes as he moved out of the cafeteria, reaching for his phone and dialing Meredith's number.

"Hey, Der," Meredith giggled as she answered the phone.

"Hi," Derek laughed. "You sound happy."

"Some of my students just stopped in," Meredith smiled as she cradled the phone between her ear and shoulder, stapling a poster to the bulletin board. "I've got some really great kids this year, so it should be fun."

"Good," Derek smiled as he stepped into an empty conference room.

"How's life as a doctor?"

"Exciting," Derek sighed. "But lonely."

"Exciting but lonely," Meredith repeated. "Should I ask why it's exciting or offer to come over for lunch?"

"Well, I just ate lunch, but I'd be okay with seeing you anyways," Derek laughed.

"I'm busy, Der, and so are you," she sighed. "But it's good?"

"I may scrub in tomorrow," Derek said. "Patient's got a subdural hemotoma, it was my first case and I caught the bleed in her brain before the attendings."

"Well, it seems as though I'm dating a genius," she giggled. "Good job, Der."

"Is your classroom all set up?" Derek asked.

"Almost," Meredith said, stepping to close the door. "Andrew got a full time job here."

Derek was silent for a moment, wondering how he should respond to that, why she was even telling him. "You saw him?" he finally asked.

"Yeah, he stopped by," Meredith said. "He said he wanted to make sure we could be professional, which is a good idea, I guess. But he just seemed so…sad. And I never really realized how much I hurt him."

Derek sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I'm trying really hard to follow your train of thought here, Mer, but you're losing me," he sighed.

"It's nothing," Meredith shook her head. "I just feel bad. It's not like I still want to be with him or anything, but I never really thought about him after I broke up with him and ran off to Europe with you. I was so excited to be with you again, to have a real life together, that I never really thought to feel bad for him."

Derek nodded, even though he knew she couldn't see him. "That makes sense," he finally said. "I'm sorry, Mer, but I don't really know how to help."

"There's nothing you can do," Meredith sighed. "I guess I just needed someone to ramble to."

"You can always ramble to me," Derek laughed.

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded, and he couldn't help but notice the lack of enthusiasm in her voice.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," she said quickly. "It's weird. We've been together pretty much twenty four hours a day for two and a half months, and I'm not used to not being able to just turn to you whenever I need to. I'll be fine once work really starts for me again."

"Okay," Derek said softly. "I love you, Mer. And you know you can call me anytime you need me. I may not answer right away if I'm at work, but I'll always make sure that I call you back as soon as possible."

Meredith smiled softly. "Thanks," she said softly. "I love you too."

Derek's pager beeped loudly from it's place on his hip, and he cursed softly as he looked down at it. "I have to go, Mer, I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Meredith said. "I'll talk to you later?"

"Definitely," Derek nodded. "Bye, Mer."

"Bye, Der."

Derek sighed as he hung up his phone, already moving towards the door as he clipped his phone back to his belt. Meredith was off somehow, she hadn't really been herself for the last half of their conversation, and he wished that he had had more time to dig into her fears. Unfortunately, being an intern didn't allow him as much time to devote to her as he would have liked, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to do everything he could to make sure she was happy.

"Dr. Shepherd, we've got a rape victim, beaten unconscious," his resident Dr. Watkins said as Derek entered the ER. "I need you to take her upstairs for a CT and an MRI, see if there's any internal damage."

Derek nodded as he started to move the gurney towards the door. "Of course, Dr. Watkins." He moved towards the elevators, pushing the gurney ahead of him and trying not to worry about Meredith and instead think about the medical case in front of him. Doctor. He had to be a doctor.


	37. Chapter 37

"Derek."

There was a soft voice in his ear, followed by his favorite giggle as he mumbled something unintelligible as he burrowed further into the covers.

"Derek, you have to wake up."

"'M sweeping."

"Oh, you're sweeping?" Meredith giggled. "Well, then I guess I should get dressed, because sleeping people don't usually want birthday sex."

Without opening his eyes, Derek reached out to pull her closer, burying his face in her neck. "Not naked."

"I could be," she replied, threading her fingers through his hair, her other hand moving his under her shirt. "Der…"

"No."

Meredith sighed as she leaned down to whisper in his ear. "Happy birthday, Der."

Derek's eyes flew open and he was still for a moment before he sighed and moved to kiss her. "Thank you."

"Good, now you're awake," Meredith said. "Get up."

"It's my birthday," he practically whined. "I get to sleep when I want."

"Fine," Meredith sighed, pulling out of his arms. "But if you don't want your birthday surprise…"

"Does my birthday surprise involve naked Meredith?" he asked, pulling her close to him again.

"It could," she nodded. "At some points."

"At some points?" Derek raised his eyebrows. "What is it?"

"It's a surprise," she giggled. "But I happened to pull some strings and get you the weekend off."

"What?" Derek asked. "Interns don't get time off."

"They do when Ellis Grey's daughter calls and demands that her boyfriend get time off on his birthday," she said. "And when said boyfriends older sister backs up Ellis Grey's daughter."

"You're taking me away for the weekend?"

"If you get your ass out of bed," she replied.

"Fine," he sighed. "But this better be worth it."

"Oh, it is," Meredith nodded. "Trust me."

Derek smiled as he leaned in to kiss her softly. "Mer?"

"Hmmm?"

"Best birthday ever."

"You've been awake for five minutes," she rolled her eyes.

"Five minutes with you in bed," he said with a smile. "Better than any other birthday I've had."

"Corny," Meredith whispered against her lips. "My boyfriend is corny. And completely lame."

"My girlfriend loves the corny," Derek laughed.

"Take a shower," Meredith said, shoving him towards the bathroom.

"Bossy," Derek sighed.

"You love it," she giggled, kissing him softly.

"Hmmm," Derek sighed. "Shower sex?"

"I already showered," she giggled. "Make it quick, we've got a lot to do. Including each other."

Derek smiled as he stepped into the bathroom, turning on the shower as he slid out of his clothes. He had just gotten out of a thirty hour shift the night before and was completely exhausted, almost too tired to remember it was his birthday. But Meredith, his wonderfully amazing girlfriend, had remembered, and it was already clear that she had managed to make it extra special for her.

"So," he announced, walking out of the bedroom freshly showered and planting a kiss to the top of her head as she sat at the table, lesson plans scattered in front of her. "Where are we going?"

"That," Meredith smiled as she gathered her papers and slid them into a file folder. "Is for me to know and you to find out, old man."

Derek frowned. "I don't think I like that."

She giggled as she stood, her lips meeting his as her fingers laced through his. "You're twenty seven now," she whispered. "You're officially no longer in your mid twenties. You're in your late twenties."

"If I'm old then so are you," he argued.

"I'm only twenty four," she replied. "I haven't even reached the quarter of a century mark yet."

"I don't like you."

"Well, then I guess I'll have to trade you in for a younger model," Meredith shrugged, moving to sit down at the table again.

"You wouldn't dare," Derek breathed, pulling her close again. "I could show you right now how not old I am."

"Later," she promised as she tugged on his hand. "It's time to go."

"Where are we going?" Derek asked.

"Somewhere," Meredith shrugged, leading him out of the apartment.

"Well, I'm glad to know we're not going nowhere," Derek rolled his eyes. "Come on, Mer."

"You'll see when we get there," Meredith said, sitting him down in the passenger side of her car. "I'm going to have to insist that you put this on." She slid a blindfold around his eyes, pressing a kiss to his lips when it was securely tied. "Can I trust that you're not going to take this off?"

"Are you going to do naughty things to me?" Derek asked, and she giggled at the hope lacing his voice.

"Later, Dr. Shepherd," she said. "Just don't take it off."

"Fine," Derek sighed, crossing his arms over his chest as he felt the car begin to move, and a moment later, Meredith's hand took his.

It would be nice to spend a significant amount of time with her. In the month since he'd started his internship, most of the time they'd spent together had been hurried lunches at either the hospital or her classroom or nights spent curled in each other's arms. He'd missed simply being with her and just…being. She allowed him to be who he truly was, and as much as he loved the stolen moments of intimacy in the on call rooms of the hospital, he couldn't wait to simply be with her again.

The drive was long, and he had long since given up trying to figure out the turns she was taking as she drove, instead choosing to push her buttons a little bit. He squeezed her hand tightly before he started asking questions.

"Are going to the airport?"

"Derek."

"A fancy hotel?"

"I'm not giving in."

"Vegas?"

"Yeah right."

"Are you taking me to the middle of nowhere so we can re-enact the car scene from Titanic?"

"I don't even want to know why you saw that movie."

"I'm just saying…if you want to bring me to the middle of nowhere to have your way with me in the backseat, it's totally fine."

"Derek Christopher."

"Are we here?" Derek asked, feeling the car come to a stop. But he still felt as if they were moving somehow.

"Almost," she giggled. "Just…wait for a few minutes."

Derek paused for a moment before he asked, "Are we on a ferryboat?"

Meredith was silent, and a moment later he felt her hands on the buttons of his jeans. "I think it's time for a little preview of your birthday sex," she breathed.

"Hmmm," Derek nodded, fumbling for the handle to reach his seat back. "Happy birthday to me."

XXXXX

"Are we there yet?"

"I have students in my class who are more mature than you," Meredith giggled as he felt her drive off the road, bumping slightly.

"Where the hell are we?" he asked, reaching for the blindfold.

"You take that off and there's no sex for you," Meredith warned.

"Fine," he sighed, feeling the car come to a halt. "Where are we?"

Meredith didn't respond, and a moment after he heard her car door shut, his opened and she reached for his hand, pulling him to his feet. He felt her wrap her arms around his waist, and a moment later the blindfold was slipped over his eyes. "Mer," he breathed, looking out over the land that he loved so much, the cliff that overlooked the entire city of Seattle. "What…what are we doing here?"

"We're here," Meredith breathed. "Because I figured we should spend some time on our land."

"Our…what?" Derek asked.

"Well, technically my land," Meredith shrugged, moving towards the trunk. "But I bought it because I know how much you love it, and I couldn't get your name on the deed without your signature, and I wanted it to be a surprise, so right now it's my land. But it can be your land too."

"Meredith," he breathed, watching as she pulled two backpacks out of the trunk. "You bought this land?"

"Yeah," she smiled softly. "And I figured that one day we could maybe…I mean a really really long time from now when you're not an intern anymore and I actually have money again…we could build a house here. Because it would be completely amazing to wake up everyday and look out over the cliff."

"You are so amazing," Derek whispered, pulling her into his arms and kissing her hard. "Meredith, you've just made every single dream I've had come true."

"Well, just wait," Meredith whispered against his lips. "Cause I have a lot more coming."

"Like what?" Derek whispered. "Because I don't think anything can top this. It's incredible."

"Camping," Meredith smiled, pulling back to hand him a backpack. "And, courtesy of Mark Sloan, a brand new fishing pole and tackle box."

Derek stared at her for a moment as he reached for the offered items. "You really are the perfect woman," he stated. "Thank you."

"You're welcome," she giggled slightly. "And I took the day off of work to go camping with you. If that doesn't say I love you, I don't know what does."

"I think buying my favorite cliff and giving me hot sex in the woods counts," Derek laughed as he led her towards the woods.

"Who said anything about sex in the woods?" Meredith asked.

"Me," Derek said, reaching for her hand. "It's my birthday, I get sex."

Meredith feigned a distraught sigh. "I suppose I can do that," she said.

"You may not have a choice," Derek replied. "I like the fact that I can make you scream until you're hoarse with no neighbors to complain about the noise."

Meredith sighed deeply, feeling her skin heat. "Maybe I want you to make you scream," she purred.

Derek paused, bracing himself against a tree for a moment as he stared at her. "Shit, Mer," he breathed.

"Later," she promised, kissing him quickly. "We have to find a place to camp."

"I know a place," Derek sighed, glancing down at his tightened pants. "Just…give me a minute."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she looked at him. "You have problems," she said. "Let me help you out. Think about…the fact that when I dropped Meg off from school the other day I caught Kathleen and Chris having sex on the kitchen counter."

Derek frowned as he shot her a dirty look. "That's sick," he said. "I do not want to picture my sister like that."

"Looks like it worked," Meredith shrugged as she turned to continue walking through the woods.

Derek sighed as he started after her. "You're to smart for your own good, Meredith Grey," he sighed.

"You love me," she giggled.

"I do," Derek nodded, pulling her into a clearing in front of the lake. "We can set up the tent here."

Meredith took in the small clearing, he circle of rocks that sat in the center, obviously having been used as a fireplace previously. "You've been here before," she stated.

"Hmm," Derek nodded, setting his backpack down and pulling the parts of the tent out. "When I thought you were going on our trip with another man," he said. "I came out here to escape. It's where Dad found me to tell me he had my ticket."

Meredith smiled as she moved to help him with the tent. "You really love it here," she observed.

"It's where I do all my best thinking," Derek nodded. "I can't believe it's ours."

"Mine," Meredith giggled. "If you're good I'll share."

Derek laughed and grabbed her hand. "We should get the tent up," he breathed. "So we can christen your land properly."

"I like that idea," she breathed against his lips. "Especially since you're technically still my sex slave."

"How many times do I have to tell you that we both lost?" Derek asked.

"Fine," Meredith shrugged, pulling away from him to slide the tent onto the poles. "We'll just have to make each other scream then."

"I like that plan," Derek nodded. "Tent, now."

Meredith smiled as she stepped back. "I think I'll let you be a manly man and put the tent up yourself," she said. "I'll go get firewood."

"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes. "But we're not going to need a fire. I'll make sure the tent is hot enough without it."

"Right," Meredith nodded. "Let's just hope that you haven't lost any of your stamina now that you're old."

"I'll show you old," Derek said seductively, reaching for her and pressing her against a tree. "The tent can wait."

"It totally can," Meredith groaned as she wrapped her legs around his waist.


	38. Chapter 38

Meredith looked up from her lesson plans a week later when there was a knock at the door. She frowned as she glanced at the clock, realizing that it was only eight. Derek was at work, and she'd eaten dinner by herself before settling down with some work to get done so she could be free for his day off on Sunday. She'd quickly realized that if she made the most of the time he spent at the hospital to work, they could take advantage of his time off.

"Lexie," she said as she opened the door. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay?"

"Just figured I'd stop by and say hi," Lexie giggled as she pushed past Meredith into the apartment. "Addison said that Derek and Mark are working tonight, so we figured we'd have a girls' night."

"Hi Mer," Addison smiled as she walked into the room. "Liz is on her way, she had to find something for Shawn to do. Apparently he's just as pathetic as the rest of those idiots we call our boyfriends."

"Girls' night?" Meredith repeated, still focused on Lexie's words. "What are you talking about?"

"Yeah, you know, gossip, junk food, chick flicks," Lexie said. "We used to do it all the time when we lived together."

"I guess," she smiled, looking up as Liz stumbled into the apartment.

"Sorry I'm late," she breathed. "You didn't start without me, did you? I had to take of something."

"We just got here," Addison replied. "Come on, Mer. We've got ice cream and chocolate."

Meredith stared at Liz for a moment before she stated, "You just had sex."

"What?" Liz cried, a slight laugh coming from her lips. "I…no."

"You so did," Meredith laughed. "Look at her hair."

"Definite sex hair," Addison nodded.

"You're sick," Liz stated, storming into the living room. "All of you."

Meredith giggled as she moved to sit beside Liz on the couch. "We're just kidding," she said.

"Well, I don't want to talk about my sex life with you," Liz blushed.

"I'll talk about mine," Addison volunteered. "Mark can surprisingly be very gentle, when he's not a wild animal."

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded. "Derek is completely amazing. But then again, a man of that size…can't really go wrong with that."

Liz winced. "That's my big brother you're talking about," she said.

"Sorry," Meredith giggled. "We can talk about your sex life instead."

"I don't want to," Liz insisted.

"Fine," Meredith nodded, turning to Addison. "Derek does this thing in the shower that drives me crazy. He makes me grab my ankles, and then he thrusts his…"

"Okay!" Liz cried. "That's enough."

Meredith and Addison turned to look at her expectantly. "Well?" Meredith prompted.

"Fine," Liz sighed. "Shawn's…well, he's amazing. And I don't have very much experience with other men, but the way that he makes me feel is just completely amazing."

Addison sighed as she leaned back into the cushions of the couch. "Yeah," she sighed. "I know what you mean. Mark can make me forget my own name."

"When we were in Italy the reception desk called up to ask us to kindly respect the stay of the other guests in the hotel and keep the screaming to a minimum," Meredith giggled. "That's when I first realized that Derek goes crazy when I tie him up."

"You know, Mark's never really been interested in that," Addison sighed. "Do you think if I let him tie me up first he'd be okay with it?"

"When I was with Mark…" Liz started before she quickly stopped herself, the other three women looking at her with wide eyes. "Oops."

"You slept with Mark?" Meredith asked.

"Well…yeah," Liz said. "All of us have. It's no big deal. He…taught me things."

Addison choked on her wine as she turned to look at Liz. "All four of you?"

"Wait a minute, Caitlin's slept with Mark?" Meredith asked.

"Who hasn't slept with Mark Sloan?" Lexie asked, speaking up for the first time.

"Um…apparently only me," Meredith replied. "Lexie!"

"What?" Lexie asked. "He came over once when you and Derek were dating the first time, and I was lonely, and he was just…there."

"I can't believe this," Addison groaned, burying her face in her hands.

"Maybe we should change the topic," Liz suggested.

"And never speak of this ever again," Meredith nodded. "Especially to Derek. I can't be held responsible for what he'd do if he found out that all of his sisters slept with Mark."

"Right," Addison nodded. "Although I gotta say…I should be given credit for finally getting him to settle down."

"Mark's always been a big softie," Liz giggled. "You're just the one who brings it out in him."

There was a long silence for a moment before Meredith asked, "What did we talk about before we had boyfriends?"

"Work," Lexie shrugged. "School."

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded. "It's weird. Derek and I have barely even known each other for a year, and for a lot of that time we weren't even together. But I can' even imagine my life without him anymore."

"He loves you a lot," Liz said. "I've never seen him this happy before, ever. And when you were broken up, he was completely miserable."

"I know," Meredith whispered. "I hate that I did that to him."

"But you love him," Lexie said. "That's what matters."

"You want to know a secret?" Addison asked, leaning towards Meredith.

"Always," Meredith smiled.

"Mark told me a couple weeks ago that he's going to try to be more like Derek," Addison giggled. "Because Derek's the kind of man who has relationships and as we just found out, Mark's the kind of man that sleeps with any woman who's willing. He said he needs to be the relationship type of man because he thinks that's what I deserve."

"Derek is amazing," she said softly. "More men should try to be like him."

"Alright, that's enough talk about the boys," Liz said. "Let's watch a movie and stuff our faces."

XXXXX

Derek sighed as he dragged himself into the apartment, exhausted after a long shift at work. It was five in the morning, but in that moment all he wanted to do was pull Meredith into his arms and sleep forever. He stopped briefly in the living room to look at the tangled mass of bodies on the floor, amidst blankets and pillows. Empty ice cream cartons littered the table, scattered with open DVD cases, an empty bottle of tequila, and a stack of pictures, presumably from their European vacation.

He shook his head as he moved into the bedroom, not bothering to turn on the lights as he stripped out of his clothes and slid into bed, pulling Meredith close and burying his face in her hair, frowning when he realized that she'd changed her conditioner from the lavender scent he loved so well to some kind of tropical coconut smell. He was definitely going to have to talk to her about that.

"Hmmm," he murmured, leaning forward to kiss her cheek. "Love you."

She sighed as she turned in his arms, burying her face in his chest. She felt different somehow, her body felt different, but he contributed that to the fact that he'd been awake for almost forty hours and wasn't thinking clearly. "You're home."

"I'm home," Derek nodded, not bothering to open his eyes as he felt himself already falling into the comfort of sleep.

"I missed you."

"Hmm…me too."

"We should…sex."

"Definitely sex," he whispered, eyes still closed as he reached under her shirt to cup her breasts.

"Oh," she moaned, pressing herself against him. "Mark…"

Derek froze, quickly withdrawing his hand as he slowly opened his eyes and reaching for the light. "Addison!" he yelled, reaching to pull the covers around his naked body.

"Derek!" she cried, pulling her shirt back down and turning to the other side of the bed. "Mer, wake up."

"What?" Meredith groaned from Addison's other side. Derek frowned, wondering how out of it he must have been to not realize that was an extra person in his bed.

"What the hell are you doing in my bed?" Derek demanded.

"You're supposed to be at work," Addison cried.

"Derek?" Meredith groaned, finally waking up. "Oh crap."

"Mer, what is she doing in my bed?"

"She has a name," Addison snapped.

"And an apartment," Derek replied. "With your own boyfriend."

"Fine," Addison sighed, climbing to the end of the bed and walking out the door, rolling her eyes as she did so.

"Mer, I'm sorry," Derek said, turning to his girlfriend as she looked up at him with an amused smile. "I thought she was you, you know I'd never…"

"I know," she nodded. "Personally I thought it was funny."

"You would," he rolled his eyes. "What was she doing here?"

"We had a sleepover," Meredith replied. "I said whoever was the drunkest could sleep in the bed with me. She won."

"Obviously," Derek sighed, pulling her close. "That was embarrassing."

"Baby, you've got nothing to be embarrassed about," Meredith giggled, reaching down to wrap her hand around his penis. "This is all man."

"Hmmm, and it's all for you," Derek whispered, pressing his lips against her neck.

"Good," she giggled.

"I love you."

"I love you too. I'm sorry there was another girl in our bed."

"You never need to apologize for that," Derek shook his head. "In fact if you want to invite Addison back in here…"

"You're an idiot," she rolled her eyes, rolling onto her back. "And it's not as much fun as it seems."

Derek was silent for a moment before she felt the sheets rustle and suddenly he was looking down at her. "I think I'm going to need you to clarify what you were just saying," he requested.

"Threesomes," she shrugged. "Not that exciting."

"You've…."

"One very drunken mistake during freshman year," she said without looking at him.

"Details," Derek begged. "Please, Mer."

She rolled her eyes as she turned onto her back. "What is this obsession guys have with girl on girl?" she asked.

"Was she hot?"

"I guess," she shrugged. "I don't really remember."

"We could get Addison back in here," Derek suggested. "Or Izzie."

"Seriously?" Meredith asked. "You want to sleep with Addison?"

"Well…no," Derek replied. "I want you to sleep with Addison."

Meredith stared at him for a moment before she nodded. "Okay," she said.

"You…wha…seriously?" Derek asked.

"You can invite Addison into bed with us," Meredith nodded. "But then it would only be fair that Mark get the same attention from Addison and I."

"How is that fair?"

"The same way it's fair that you want to sleep with one of my best friends," Meredith shrugged.

"I don't actually want to sleep with Addison," Derek said.

"Good."

"Only you."

"Mmmhmm."

"I have no complaints about the sex."

"You better not."

"In fact, I could show you right now how satisfied I am."

"Your sister's in the other room," Meredith murmured.

"She knows we have sex," Derek shrugged, rubbing himself against her. "She'll get it one day."

Meredith scoffed. "I'm pretty sure she already gets it."

"What?" Derek asked, pulling back.

"Crap," Meredith muttered. "Derek…."

"What did she say to you?" Derek asked.

"She's twenty three, Derek, did you honestly think she wasn't having sex?"

"She's my baby sister," he frowned.

"How old were you when you lost your virginity?" Meredith asked.

"Seventeen," Derek sighed. "But still…"

"So it's okay for you to do it as a teenager but your sister waits until she's ready to do it with someone she trusts and you go all caveman on her," Meredith said. "She's a big girl, she can take care of herself."

"You know something," Derek stated.

"You know what, suddenly I'm in the mood for sex," Meredith said, rolling on top of him and kissing him passionately.

"Who'd she sleep with?" Derek asked.

"Doesn't matter," Meredith breathed. "You're so hot, Derek. I want to feel you inside of me."

Derek sighed as he gave into the way her hips were rocking against his, knowing that he could always pry for information later. "You're in charge," he murmured.

"Of course," she purred. "I'm going to make you come so hard."

"God, Mer," he breathed. "Please…"

Meredith smiled as she slid her pajama pants off, knowing that she had successfully distracted him from worrying about stupid stuff. For now at least.


	39. Chapter 39

"I need to talk to you," Derek announced as he burst into his parents' kitchen a month later.

"Hello, son, it's nice to see you too," Michael laughed as he looked up from his paper. "Long time no see."

"Derek," Emma smiled, standing to hug her son. "We weren't expecting you. Is everything okay?"

"Yeah," he breathed. "I just…I came here straight from work. Mer's still in school and I need to talk to you when she's not around. Which really isn't that much anymore, and that's kind of why I need to talk to you, because it has to be a surprise, and…oh, god, I'm rambling."

"You are," Michael shook his head. "I knew that girl must have had to have a flaw somewhere."

"The rambling's perfect," Derek countered before he turned to his mother. "I need your ring."

"What?" Emma's eyes widened, automatically cradling her ring against her chest. "What for?"

"To give to Mer," Derek said. "I'm going to propose. I don't know when, but I'm going to propose."

"Oh, Derek," Emma breathed, dropping her hand from her chest to pull her son into her arms. "That's wonderful."

"Congratulations, son," Michael smiled, clapping Derek on the back as he pulled his son into an embrace. "She's perfect for you."

"I know," Derek nodded. "But you promised I could have Mom's ring when I found the right girl."

"What?" Emma asked, turning to her husband with wide eyes. "When did you tell him that?"

"I…." Michael glanced between his wife and his son, obviously not having expected to be in this situation anytime soon. "Um…"

"Michael Aidan Shepherd, did you tell our son he could steal my engagement ring?" Emma demanded.

"I didn't say he could _steal _it," Michael defended. "I just thought it would be nice for the girl who's going to carry on the Shepherd name to have the ring that represents our love. It's brought us thirty years of happiness and five amazing children, six if you count that Sloan kid. I want Derek to have that kind of life, and I know it has more to do with how he approaches his life than the ring his wife wears, but I just thought it would be nice for Meredith to wear it."

"I love this ring, Michael," Emma said quietly. "It hasn't come off my finger in thirty years."

"I know," he smiled, bringing her hand to her lips to kiss the back of her hand. "I love it too. But I'll buy you a new ring. One that you can pick out yourself, as big as you want."

Emma stared down at her ring for a moment, tears filling her eyes. After a moment, she turned to Derek who was looking at her with curious eyes. "Meredith is a wonderful girl," she said softly. "She's very well suited for you. And she loves you a lot. It really means a lot to you to have this ring, doesn't it?"

"I want Mer to wear the ring that represents the love you and Dad have," Derek said softly. "But I don't want you to beat yourself up over this. If you really don't want to give it up, I'll get it."

Emma inhaled deeply as she looked closely at Michael for a moment, then reached down for her engagement ring. She had to twist it hard a few times to make it come off, but when it finally did, she looked down at it softly for a moment before she handed it to Derek. "Don't you dare taint what this ring means," she said. "She's the one, Derek. Don't let her go."

"Thank you," Derek whispered, pulling his mother into a tight hug. "I love you, Mom. Thank you."

"I love you too," Emma smiled. "When are you going to propose? Soon? By Christmass?"

"I don't know," Derek laughed softly. "I never really got past the part where I thought I'm ready to marry her and I need to get Mom's ring. Mer's complicated, I have to think of something she'll like."

"Well, I'm sure you will find a way to make it extra special," Emma said with a smile. "Just don't take any advice from your father."

"Hey, that was the time I finally convinced you to marry me," Michael quickly defended himself.

"Why, how did you propose?" Derek asked, amusement in his voice, knowing it would be a good story.

"Well, the time she finally accepted," Michael rolled his eyes at his wife. "I was trying to be romantic and took her to a bed and breakfast in Connecticut. But somehow we ended up on the wrong highway and just as we realized we were halfway to Canada, we got a flat tire."

"In the middle of the night," Emma interrupted.

"Yeah yeah," Michael continued. "So I'm changing the tire, and all of a sudden she hands me the wrench and the ring's on her finger, and she said that she'd go through with it so long as I never took her away for the weekend again. She proposed to herself, said I wasn't any good at it."

"It was the best worst road trip ever," Emma smiled at Michael, reaching for her husband's hand.

Derek laughed as he looked at the ring in his hands. "I think I can do better than that, Dad."

"Meredith's feisty, I wouldn't be surprised if you had to ask a few times," Michael warned.

"Unlike you, Dad, I didn't ask her on our first date," Derek laughed. "She's ready. She was talking about houses and babies, and…she's ready."

"Babies?" Emma's eyes narrowed.

"Mom," Derek groaned. "Seriously? She's not pregnant."

"Derek Christopher…"

"I swear she's not!" Derek replied. "We've talked about that. A few years. I want to be almost done with my residency so I'll have more time."

"Good," Emma said firmly.

"Grandma! Grandpa!" a small voice called from the front door, and a moment later Meg raced into the kitchen. "School let out early, Aunt Meredith brought me here cause Mommy and Daddy are working, and…Uncle Derek!"

Derek's eyes widened as he stared down at the ring in his hand before he shoved it into his pocket, hoping that Meredith wouldn't go through his pockets again and find the ring. "Hey Meg," he grinned as he pulled her into his arms. "Wow, you're getting heavy."

"I'm almost eight!" Meg said proudly.

"Hi," Meredith smiled as she walked into the kitchen a moment later, moving towards Derek. "You didn't tell me you were coming out here today."

"Oh, um, just a spur of the moment thing," Derek nodded with a wide smile, causing Michael to roll his eyes.

"The boy better propose soon or else she'll catch on based on that stupid grin on his face," he muttered to Emma.

She elbowed him in the side before moving to hug Meredith. "It's good to see you, dear," she said. "And you, my little angel, I'm so thrilled that you're here."

She reached to take Meg from Derek's arms and Meredith frowned as she stepped closer. "Emma, what happened to your ring?" she asked, looking at her left hand, strangely bare with only the simple gold wedding band resting there.

Derek's eyes widened, but Emma just smiled as she cradled her granddaughter close to her. "The diamond was just a little loose, dear," she said. "I took it to the jeweler to have it reset."

"Oh," Meredith nodded, smiling as she stepped into Derek's arms. "Hi."

"Hi," he smiled, leaning down to kiss her quickly. "To what do we owe the pleasure of school being let out early?"

"Power outage," she sighed. "Apparently the storm last night was worse than they thought, and the generator went out before lunch."

"Well, at least it's a beautiful day today," he sighed, looking out the window at the rare fall sunshine. "Sunny and warm."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded against his chest, for some reason needing to feel close to him right now.

"Uncle Derek," Meg sighed from Michael's lap. "Are you still a 'tern?"

"An intern?" Derek laughter. "Yes. Why?"

"Because Mommy said that I couldn't go to the zoo with you until you're not a 'tern anymore," Meg sighed. "Cause you're too busy."

Derek frowned as he looked down at his niece's pout, one that he was sure she'd learned from her teacher the previous year. "I'll tell you what," he said. "Why don't we have lunch here with Grandma and Grandpa, and then Aunt Meredith and I will take you to the zoo. How does that sound?"

"Really?" Meg cried, her face lighting up.

"As long as it's okay with Aunt Meredith," Derek said, turning to her.

"I'd love to," Meredith smiled.

"Yay!" Meg cried. "This is the bestest day ever!"

Derek laughed as he looked at his mom. "You mind us crashing for lunch?"

"Certainly not," Emma shook her head, moving towards the fridge. "I'll just heat up some leftovers from last night, and then you three can be on your way."

"Perfect," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of Meredith's head as he tried to ignore the ring that was burning a hole in his pocket.

XXXXX

"The polar bears are my favorite," Meg stated as they walked away from the exhibit. "And the monkeys, cause they're funny. And the elephants. And…"

"You having fun?" Derek asked, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close as Meg chattered away on his other side, holding his other hand tightly.

"Yeah," Meredith smiled, resting her head against her shoulder. "I come here every spring with my students but last year was bad, just because…well, everything."

"Hmm," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "It's better now."

"It is," she nodded. "Perfect."

"Even though I made you go in the reptile house?" Derek smirked.

"Okay, that was just plane mean," Meredith replied. "You know snakes freak me out."

"You didn't even look at them, you had your head buried in my shoulder the entire time."

"Mean," Meredith frowned.

"Yes, I'm just the meanest boyfriend in the world," Derek nodded.

"Definitely," Meredith smiled.

"Uncle Derek," Meg sighed. "Can I get stuffed kangaroo from the gift shop?"

"Of course," Derek nodded. "Let's go."

"You spoil her," Meredith informed him.

"She's cute," Derek shrugged as they entered the gift shop and Meg made a bee line for the stuffed animals.

"Our kids will be cuter," Meredith said. "Will you buy them anything they ask for?"

Derek stopped walking, smiling softly at her. "Our kids," he said softly.

Meredith blinked in surprise. "Well…yeah," she said. "I mean, if we have kids. Because I just assumed that you did, and I want to have your babies, but maybe you don't because you're a doctor and doctors are busy, and I know I have crappy DNA, but we'd have really cute babies, and…"

She was cut off by the feeling of Derek's lips pressed firmly against his. "Meredith," he said. "We're going to have babies. Amazing babies, with my hair and your smile. I just like hearing you say it."

"Oh," Meredith said. "Right. Okay."

"And to answer your question, yes," Derek laughed. "Our kids will be spoiled."

"I refuse to let you spoil my children, Derek Christopher," she smiled. "I don't want to raise spoil brats."

"They won't be brats," Derek argued. "Just…well loved."

"Whatever," Meredith giggled, moving to crouch beside Meg and sort through the stuffed animals.

Derek stepped back and watched Meredith talk softly with his niece, smiling as he watched her play with the stuffed animals in front of them. She was amazing with children, you had to be to have the job she did. He laughed as he watched Meredith poke Meg in the nose with an elephant trunk, suddenly realizing how much he couldn't wait to have babies with her. She would be an incredible mother to his children, and the thought of making a baby with her made him want to kneel down on the ground beside her and beg her to marry him.

"Uncle Derek, Aunt Meredith says you'll get me a polar bear and a kangaroo!" Meg giggled, running over to him the two said items in her hand.

"Oh did she?" Derek laughed. "And what does Aunt Meredith want as a present?"

"I don't need a present," she rolled her eyes.

"I think you do," Derek nodded. "And if you don't pick one out, I may be force to buy you this rubber snake over here."

"You're mean," Meredith sighed.

"Just pick out a present, Mer."

"Fine," she sighed. She looked around for a moment before she reached out and grabbed a stuffed elephant.

"Nice," Derek smiled, reaching for the elephant. "Presents for my two favorite girls."

"Can I go look at the fish?" Meg asked, pointing to the large fish tank in the corner of the room.

"Sure," Meredith smiled, turning to Derek and holding up her elephant as they waited in line. "Thanks for the elephant."

"My pleasure," Derek smiled. "He's cute, like you."

"Are you saying I look like an elephant?" Meredith asked, a sparkle in her eyes.

"No," Derek said quickly. "Definitely not. Just…cuteness. That's where the similarities end."

Meredith giggled as she reached up to press a kiss to his cheek. "You're so fun to watch squirm."

Derek rolled his eyes as he set the stuffed animals on the counter. "Hi," he smiled at the girl behind the cashier.

"Hi," she said. "Your daughter's adorable."

"What?" Derek and Meredith asked together.

"Your daughter," the girl pointed to Meg, whose face was pushed up against the glass. "She hasn't stopped smiling since she got here. You've done a really good job with her."

Derek offered her a polite smile, hoping that in a few years they would receive that conversation for real. "Thanks," he said as he took the bag from her. "Have a nice evening."

"Seriously?" Meredith asked. "You just let her think that Meg was our daughter?"

"She was offering a compliment," Derek shrugged. "I didn't want to correct her."

Meredith smiled as she looked into his eyes, knowing that he was thinking far into the future. She reached up to push a stubborn strand of hair from his forehead, smiling softly. "We will do a good job, Der," she whispered. "With our kids."


	40. Chapter 40

"Meredith," Lexie gasped as she and Izzie stumbled into her apartment. "What's wrong?"

"What's the big emergency?" Izzie asked.

"Is Derek okay?"

"This!" Meredith cried, holding up a small black velvet box, her eyes wide. "This is what's wrong."

"Oh my God," Lexie breathed.

"Is that…" Izzie stepped closer, her eyes wide.

"An engagement ring?" Meredith cried. "Yes, yes, it is an engagement ring. And you know why I found it? Because my boyfriend is a complete idiot and hid it in his underwear drawer. I found it when I was putting laundry away. Last time I ever try to be domestic."

"You were doing laundry?" Lexie asked. Meredith shot her an annoyed look, and she nodded. "Right, not the point here. Sorry. Um…why are we freaking out? Cause I don't…"

"What the hell does this mean?" Meredith asked, her hands flying in the air as she paced the living room, Lexie and Izzie sitting down on the couch. "We've been dating for less than a year. And I don't even really know how long we've been dating because we broke up for a million completely miserable years, and now he's going to propose? Seriously? Seriously."

"Well…Mer, I don't really get why this is a bad thing," Izzie said. "I mean you're living together."

"Right," Meredith nodded. "We're living together and I barely see him. Because he's a stupid intern. I really hope I never need medical attention from the people who gave that man a license to practice medicine, because they're obviously insane. Who gives a man without a brain a medical degree?"

Lexie frowned. "Mer…you're going to need to spell this one out for me," she said. "Because you want to marry Derek, right?"

"Yes," Meredith sighed, collapsing into his armchair. "I do, a long time from now. When he's a resident and we can have time to spend together. Because right now I barely see him, and I hate that. How am I supposed to plan a wedding with a man that I spend a total of less than thirty waking hours with a week?"

"Meredith," Izzie said, leaning forward. "You love Derek. You know that you're going to be with him forever. I honestly don't see what the problem is. Marriage is forever. What's wrong with that?"

"I'm not ready," Meredith sighed. "I…he can't propose. I can't say no, but I'm not ready."

"Why aren't you ready?" Lexie asked.

"What?" Meredith asked.

"Why aren't you ready to get married?"

"Because…I've barely even known him a year."

"So?"

"So…people don't do that."

"People do it all the time, Mer," Izzie said softly.

Meredith sighed as she leaned back in the chair, arms crossed over her chest and a pout on her face.

"Okay," Lexie sighed, moving to sit on the arm of chair and looking down at Meredith. "How will marriage change things?"

"What?" Meredith asked, looking up at her sister with wide eyes. "It will change everything."

"How will you and Derek getting married change your relationship?" Lexie asked. "Or your everday life?"

"I…" Meredith frowned as she fumbled for a response. "I guess it wouldn't. We're kind of married."

"So what's the big deal?" Lexie asked.

"I don't know," Meredith whispered. "But I'm scared. What if something bad happens?"

"Like what?" Izzie asked.

"I…like if we have another fight," Meredith said. "Or if he gets a job in New York or something. I can't just abandon my students, but I can't live all the way across the country from my husband."

"Okay," Lexie said. "Are you ever going to break up with Derek again? Not live with him?"

"What?" Meredith asked. "Do you remember that? With the knitting and the crying and the screaming Derek's name while I'm in bed with another guy? No, I'm not going to break up with him again."

"Right," Izzie nodded. "And how would it change your life on an every day basis? You live with him. You're committed to him. You know you're going to be with him forever. Would anything really change?"

"I'd be Mrs. Shepherd," Meredith whispered, reaching for the ring box that sat abandoned on the coffee table. "I wouldn't be Miss Grey at work anymore. Mrs. Shepherd."

"Do you want to be Miss Grey?" Lexie asked.

Meredith was silent as she stared down at the ring in her hands, the diamond sparkling invitingly from its resting place on the silver band. "No," she finally whispered. "Mrs. Shepherd. Meredith Shepherd. Derek and Meredith Shepherd. It sounds right. And perfect."

"It does," Izzie nodded, reaching for Meredith's hand. "Do you feel better now? Not scared?"

"Yeah," Meredith smiled. "Sorry I dragged you guys over here. I just completely freaked out."

"Obviously," Lexie giggled, reaching for the ring. "Derek has good taste in jewelry. It's beautiful."

"It really is," Meredith smiled. "I can't believe I get to wear it for the rest of my life. Once he gives it to me."

"I wonder how he's going to propose," Izzie sighed.

"It will be completely romantic," Lexie breathed. "Roses and chocolate, and candles, may be a violin…"

"Okay," Meredith said, standing and moving towards her bedroom. "You can leave now."

"What?" Izzie asked. "We have to start planning the wedding. Dresses and tuxes and colors…"

Meredith was back in the doorway immediately, her eyes wide with fear. "What do you mean?"

"Weddings take time," Izzie said. "We've got to book now if you want to get married in the next year."

"Okay, first of all," Meredith said. "The we that's planning my wedding is me and Derek we, not me Derek and you we. Second of all, for all I know, he could wait an entire year to propose."

"But…you're getting married," Izzie protested.

"Maybe," Meredith said. "A long time from now. Even if he proposes today, I want to wait until his internship's over."

"That makes sense," Lexie nodded. "Do you think he's going to do it soon? Like tonight?"

"He's been acting kind of weird," Meredith shrugged. "Like when I said something about kids the other day I really thought he was going to cry. He's going to be an amazing father."

"Well…has he said anything about a romantic dinner?" Izzie suggested.

"Or a weekend away?"

Meredith frowned. "No," she said. "He's off tonight and tomorrow, he said something about…well, stuff you don't want to hear about."

"Okay, if he proposes during sex, say no," Lexie ordered. "That's cheesy. He can come up with something better than that."

"And don't cry too hard," Izzie supplied. "A few tears are completely necessary, but don't go overboard."

"You should probably dress up a little more," Lexie said. "You don't want to be wearing his boxers when he proposes."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "You really can leave now," she said. "I don't need advice on how to get engaged. Especially because Derek would love me even more if I sobbed through his sex proposal. Now leave."

"Make up!" Izzie called over her shoulder as Meredith pushed her out the door.

"And paint your nails!" Lexie's voice called just as Meredith shut the door behind them, a slow smile spreading across her face.

She made her way back into the bedroom, opening Derek's dresser and slipping the ring out of its box. She looked down at it for a moment before she slowly slid it into her finger, holding her hand out in front of her as she admired the way it sparkled on her finger.

Mrs. Shepherd. It sure sounded a hell of a lot better than Miss Grey.

XXXXX

"So are you going to pop the question yet?" Mark asked as Derek pulled his sweater over his head, grateful to be out of his scrubs for a couple days.

"Not yet," Derek sighed. "I have to think of the perfect proposal."

"You got that ring a week ago and you haven't figured anything out yet?" Mark asked.

"Shut up," Derek snapped.

"Whoa," Mark frowned. "Tense, Shep?"

"I just…I can't figure out what she'd like," Derek sighed. "Usually I can read her so well."

The door opened and Addison walked in, smiling at them. "Hi," she said, greeting Mark with a kiss on the cheek before she turned to Derek. "Are you engaged yet?"

Derek stared at Mark. "You told her?" he asked.

"Sorry, I didn't know it was a secret," Mark shrugged.

"Great, so now everyone knows except Meredith," Derek sighed, collapsing onto the bench.

"Why is this so stressful?" Addison asked, dropping onto the bench beside him.

"Because," Derek breathed. "I'm supposed to know what she wants. I know everything about that woman, I know her better than she knows herself. But I cannot for the life of me figure out how the hell to tell her I want to marry her."

"Meredith isn't a typical girl," Addison said softly. "She'll say yes, no matter how you ask."

"I hope so," he sighed. "I just want it to be perfect."

"Meredith doesn't need that," Addison said. "She's not the type of girl that demands perfection."

"Unlike you," Mark smirked from behind them. "Sorry," he cleared his throat as Addison sent him a warning look.

"Derek," she said. "Do you think she'll say no?"

"No," he said. "But that doesn't mean it shouldn't be special, completely amazing."

Addison smiled as she squeezed his arm. "You'll figure it out," she assured him. "And you'll be happy."

"I hope so," he smiled softly.

"You ready?" Mark asked Addison as she slid her coat onto her shoulders.

"Yup," she nodded. "Bye, Derek."

"Bye," Derek nodded to them, staring down at his hands for a moment before he took a deep breath and stood.

It was time to propose.

XXXXX

Meredith slammed his dresser drawer closed as she heard the front door open, throwing herself on the bed and grabbing the nearest magazine on the nightstand.

"Hey, Mer," Derek smiled as he entered the room a moment later, pressing a kiss to the top of her forehead. "What's going on?"

"Nothing," she shrugged. "Just catching up on…um…the American Medical Journal."

Derek frowned as he looked down at the magazine in her hands. "You hate medical journals," he said. "You always complain because you don't know what I'm reading about."

"Yeah, well, I thought I'd try," she shrugged, dropping the magazine. "How was work? Busy?"

"It was good," he smiled, collapsing on the bed beside her. "Did you have a good day?"

"Boring," she lied. "Laundry and student assessments."

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "You want to go out to dinner tonight?"

Meredith sat up quickly, excitement shining in her eyes. "Dinner?" she said. "Yes. Definitely. "I have to get dressed. I have that dress I wore to your intern mixer, but I think you might have torn it, but there's another dress in there somewhere…and hair. Hair and makeup, and shoes."

"Mer," Derek frowned as he watched her dig through the clothes in her closet. "What the hell are you doing?"

"I just want to look beautiful for our date," she shrugged, coming out of the closet. "Wear this," she said, handing him his red shirt.

Derek smiled slightly as he reached out to take the shirt, but frowned when he saw her hand. "What the hell is that?" he asked, pulling her hand towards him. "Nail polish? Since when do you wear nail polish?"

Meredith jerked her hand back. "It's pretty," she shrugged. "I have to do my hair and make up and then we can go. I'll be ready in an hour."

Derek frowned as he watched his girlfriend close the door to the bathroom behind her, wondering what on earth was going on. She usually hated getting dressed up and hadn't spoken to him for a day and a half when she'd realized that she had to go to his intern mixer with him. When they went out to dinner she usually threw on jeans and a long sleeve T-shirt, leaving her hair down the way he loved it. But now she was worrying about make up and hair styles, and painting her nails.

A sudden rush of panic went through him, and he jumped off his bed to pull the top drawer of his dresser open. He pushed aside some boxers and sighed in relief when he saw that the ring was still there, safe and sound.

But that didn't give an explanation as to why his girlfriend was acting like a weird hybrid of Izzie and Addison. One thing was for certain, he wouldn't be proposing until he was sure that it was his Meredith that would say yes, not the weird pod person currently locked in his bathroom.

"Okay," Meredith breathed forty five minutes later as she stepped out of the bathroom, her hair piled on top of her head and her make up too heavy. "How do I look?"

Derek couldn't deny the tug at his heartstrings at the warm smile that graced her overly red lips. "Beautiful," he smiled, leaning forward to kiss her. "Ready?"

"Yeah," she smiled, looping her arm through his as they walked out of the apartment.

Derek sighed as he flicked the lights in the apartment off before he led Meredith down the hall, towards a romantic dinner where he wouldn't propose as his mother's engagement ring sat abandoned in his dresser, waiting patiently to be placed on the love of his life's hand.


	41. Chapter 41

Meredith shifted awkwardly in her seat, pulling her skirt over her knees as her eyes met Derek's again. He was watching her carefully, but there was something…wrong in his gaze. He wasn't looking at her the way he usually did, full of love and promise. No, tonight, there was confusion and exhaustion in his eyes, mixed in with something else that she could quite place.

He was nervous.

That had to be it. It was going to propose and he was nervous, and that's why he wasn't acting like himself.

"Meredith," he breathed her name softly and her head snapped up to meet his eyes, her heart pounding. This was it.

"Yes?" she breathed, reaching for his hand.

"Nothing," he murmured, squeezing her hand tightly. "You look beautiful."

"Oh," Meredith nodded. "Thank you."

"I…" Derek's gaze landed on her and a frown creased his face. They were silent for a moment and Meredith tore her hand out of his, reaching for her wine. This was not what she had been expecting.

"Mer," he finally said after a long moment. "I really didn't want to do this, but I can't help it."

"What?" Meredith asked, her eyes wide.

"I have to ask you something."

"Okay," she breathed, suddenly straightening up in her chair.

"What the hell is going on with you?"

"What?" Meredith frowned, pulling back from him and crossing her arms over her chest, pouting slightly.

"Meredith, you insisted that we come to the fanciest restaurant in Seattle," Derek said. "You hate getting dressed up and you hate make up. And I've known you for over a year and you've never ever worn make up."

"I'm a girl, Derek," she snapped. "Sometimes girls do those things."

"Not you," he argued. "And that's what I love about you."

"Well, I'm sorry if you hate that I tried to look beautiful for you."

"See, that's just it," Derek breathed. "You are beautiful to me, Mer. You. Not the layers of make up that are on your face right now. I don't know why you felt like you had to do this especially for me because you don't need it. You're beautiful on your own, without all that."

"I just wanted to look nice," she whispered.

"Which is fine," Derek smiled. "I love the dress. It's hot. But the make up…it's covering up your natural beauty. And how am I supposed to run my fingers through your hair when it's up like that?"

"You really don't think I need this?" she asked.

"Mer, you know when I think you're beautiful?" he asked.

"When?" she asked.

"When I have to wake up early to go into the hospital…sometimes I just lay there and look at you, sleeping beside me with your hair on the pillow, in my clothes. And when the sunlight hits your face away just right…you take my breath away," Derek smiled, reaching for her hand. "Or when I bring you coffee at work and you're just sitting there giggling with your students, playing with them and making them love you. And I just stand there watching you, imagining what an amazing mother you're going to be to my children."

"Oh," Meredith smiled, tears building in her eyes. She squeezed his hand as she reached up and pulled her hair down, smiling widely at him. "Better?"

"Yes," Derek smiled, reaching out to push the fallen hair out of her eyes. "Much. I love your hair."

"Good," Meredith sighed as she reached for a piece of bread. Derek wasn't going to propose, not tonight anyways. Now she could relax and be herself.

"Why did you think you had to do that?" Derek asked from beside her.

"Hmmm?" Meredith asked.

"I just don't get why you felt like you had to become some weird non Meredith person," Derek said. "I love you, Meredith. Not the fancy make up and the dressing up. I hope I didn't do anything to make you think that you had to do that. Because I love you. I'm sorry if I made you think I wanted you to do that."

"You didn't do anything to make me do that," Meredith sighed. "I know you love me. I was just talking to Izzie and Lexie and they said that when we get…I mean, when we go out to dinner, I should look beautiful."

Derek smiled as he squeezed her hand. "I know you love your friends," he smiled. "But please never listen to them."

Meredith giggled. "I can do that," she smiled, leaning forward to kiss him. "Now you have lipstick on you."

Derek rolled his eyes as Meredith reached out to rub his lips. "This is why you shouldn't wear make up," he said. "I can't kiss you properly."

"Well, I'll be sure to never do it again," Meredith smiled.

Before Derek could respond, a figure appeared over their table, and both their faces fell as they saw who was standing before them.

"Mother," Meredith said evenly, her grip on Derek's hand tightening. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Honestly, Meredith that's no way to speak to your mother," Ellis rolled her eyes. "And did I raise a daughter to be completely irresponsible?"

"What now?" Meredith sighed, glancing down at the table.

"I stopped by my house today," Ellis said. "And that little brat informed me that you haven' been living there for months. Months, Meredith."

"So?" Meredith asked.

"So…I do not want strangers living in that house."

"What does it matter, Mom?" Meredith asked. "They pay rent. You live in New York. When you're here for conferences I'm sure they'll let you sleep in my old room, or one of theirs…"

"I want them out," Ellis interrupted.

"What?" Meredith asked. "No, I'm not going to kick them out. That's stupid and ridiculous and…no."

"Well, they're going to have to leave when I move in," Ellis said. "This is my two week's notice as their landlord."

"Move in?" Meredith repeated, feeling her blood run cold.

"Yes," Ellis nodded. "I've accepted the position as the Chief of Surgery at Seattle Grace."

"What?" Derek and Meredith asked together.

Ellis glanced at Derek, realizing for the first time that he was here. "Oh, you," she sighed. "Was the check no big enough? Honestly, the greed of young people these days."

"Dr. Grey," Derek said firmly. "I will not accept your money. And I certainly will never ever leave her. She's everything to me."

Ellis stared at him for a moment before she shrugged. "Well, that should make work very interesting for you," she said.

"Excuse me?" Derek frowned.

"You know what, we're leaving," Meredith snapped, grabbing Derek's hand. "And if you think you can treat Derek differently because I'm dating him, I will report you to the board so fast you won't ever know what happens."

"Meredith Elizabeth…"

"Goodbye, Dr. Grey," Derek said firmly as he pulled Meredith towards the door. "Mer…" he breathed as soon as they were outside.

"I'm fine," she said automatically, wrapping her arms around herself.

"You're not fine," Derek sighed, reaching to pull her into his arms. "Come on, let's go home."

She leaned into his embrace, clutching his shirt tightly. "Don't leave," she whispered. "Last time….you can't leave."

"I won't," Derek shook his head. "I didn't want to last time, and I won't this time. I promise."

Meredith didn't respond, but simply clutched him tighter as they walked to his car. The drive home was silent, Meredith holding onto his hand with a death grip, as if she was afraid that he would leave as soon as she let go. They walked quietly up to their apartment, Meredith's hands clutching his arm tightly.

"Derek," she breathed as soon as the door closed behind her. "I can't…"

"Mer, we'll figure this out," Derek said. "We'll get through this."

"No," Meredith shook her head, moving towards the bedroom. "We're not going to deal with her."

Derek frowned as he followed her into the bedroom, watching as she began scooping clothes out of her dresser. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"We're moving," she said.

"What?" Derek asked.

"We're moving," Meredith said. "To New York or Florida or…Australia. I refuse to be in the same city as that woman."

"Meredith," Derek breathed. "We can't just move."

"Oh, we can," Meredith nodded. "And we're going to."

"What about our jobs?" Derek asked. "What about our family?"

"I don't have a family," Meredith shook her head.

"Yes you do," Derek replied. "You have me. My family is yours."

"For now," Meredith whispered.

"Forever," Derek argued.

"You've said that before."

"I meant it then," Derek breathed, moving to take her hands. "And I mean it now. Forever."

Tears filled Meredith's eyes as she sank onto the bed. "I'm scared, Derek," she whispered.

"What do you possibly have to be scared of?" Derek asked, sitting down beside her, pulling her close.

"Last time she was here…she completely destroyed everything," Meredith said. "She can't do it again."

"She won't," Derek shook his head. "We won't let her. I won't let her. She can't have this much control over your life."

"Derek, she's going to be chief of surgery," Meredith frowned. "She's going to make your life miserable."

"She'll try," Derek nodded. "But Mer…as long as you're here, I really don't think my life could be miserable."

Meredith smiled slightly. "Really?" she whispered.

"Really," Derek nodded.

"Okay," she whispered softly.

Derek leaned forward to press a kiss to her forehead, hoping that she would be able to understand just how much she meant to him. "I love you, Mer."

"I love you too," she replied. "Please don't leave, Derek. I couldn't…I need you."

"I'm not leaving," Derek shook his head. "Never in a million years. I…God, Mer, I can't even imagine where I'd be without you now."

"I think about it sometimes," she admitted quietly. "About where I'd be if we hadn't gotten back together."

"And?" Derek prompted.

"I'd probably still be with Andrew, wishing I was with you," she replied.

Derek smiled as he tightened his arm around her. "God, I'm glad you dumped him," he sighed. Meredith giggled slightly, and he looked down at her. "What?"

"I was just thinking about how you and Addison tried to convince me you were dating," she giggled. "How stupid did you think I was?"

"Hey, it worked," Derek laughed. "You were totally jealous."

"I was," she nodded, looking down at her hands. Her ringless hands. There was no way Derek was going to propose anytime soon, not with her mother breathing down her neck. "Derek?"

"Hmm?"

"Can you promise me something?" she breathed.

"Anything."

"Promise me you won't interact with her besides on a professional level," she whispered. "I don't…I don't want her treating you differently because of me. So just don't mention me, okay?"

"Mer, I won't bring it up," he sighed. "But I can't sit back while she talks to you like that."

"Derek," she said, cradling his face in her hands. "Please. Let me handle her. I asked you to do that before and we both ended up being miserable for months. So please. Let me deal with her. You just be the best doctor you could possibly be."

Derek stared into her concerned eyes, wondering how he'd gotten so lucky. "Okay," he nodded.

"Thank you," she sighed.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," she nodded. "I just really hope she won't make this hard on you. You've got too much going on."

"I can handle it, Mer," Derek nodded.

"Okay."

"Sorry we couldn't finish our date," he offered after a moment.

"Me too."

"We could grab some ice cream, snuggle up with a movie," he suggested.

"Did you just say snuggle?" Meredith giggled.

"Four sisters," Derek defended. "Four loud annoying sisters and no brothers. Sometimes a girly word slips in."

"Sure, that's all it is," Meredith nodded knowingly.

"Don't believe me?" Derek asked.

"I do," she nodded. "I'd love to snuggle with you."

"You're mocking me."

"It happens to be fun," she giggled, rolling on top of him.

"I'll show you fun," he replied, rolling her over onto her back and digging his fingers into her sides as she giggled and tried to squirm out of his grasp. This was his Meredith.


	42. Chapter 42

"Dr. Shepherd."

Derek took a deep breath before he turned around in the middle of the hallway, forcing a smile onto his face. "Dr. Grey."

"I need an intern to run labs," Ellis said.

"Actually, Dr. Thompson said I could scrub in…" Derek started, only to be interrupted by the new Chief of Surgery.

"And I'm telling you to run labs," Ellis said, handing him a pile of charts. "Do you have a problem with that, Dr. Shepherd?"

"No," Derek sighed. "Consider them done."

"Good," Ellis said before she turned on her heel to walk in the opposite direction down the hall.

Derek sighed as he moved towards the elevators. If he was going to be forced to do paperwork for the rest of his shift, he could at least get something to eat while he was doing it.

"Derek," he heard his name as he collapsed at a table, already running a hand through his hair.

"Mom," he frowned. "What are you doing here? Is everything okay? I didn't know you were coming by."

"Everything's fine," Emma nodded. "Although I had an interesting conversation with your girlfriend this morning."

"Really?" Derek raised an eyebrow. "Why do I get the feeling that I'm about to get yelled at?"

"I'm not going to yell at you," Emma replied. "I'm simply going to ask why she's still your girlfriend."

"Why wouldn't she be my girlfriend?" Derek asked. "What did she say?"

"Well, she told me some rather interesting things about her mother," Emma nodded. "But I'm beginning to wonder why I gave you my engagement ring if it's going to sit in a drawer all day."

"Mom," Derek groaned. "Not now."

"Derek, you were so excited to propose," Emma said. "What happened?"

Derek sighed as he looked around the cafeteria for a moment, leaning closer to his mother and dropping his voice. "She's going through a lot right now," he said. "With her mom and everything. I can't propose to her when she's miserable.

Emma frowned. "Did you ever think that maybe what she needs is security?" she asked. "That perhaps she's terrified that you're going to leave her, just like her mother did?"

"That's crazy, Mom," Derek rolled his eyes. "She knows that I love her and I'm never leaving."

"Maybe she says she does," Emma said. "But on some level, she's very frightened, Derek. I really think that she'd have a lot more security in herself and in you."

"I don't want her to say yes because she's scared, Mom," Derek replied. "I want her to say yes because she's ready, because she wants to marry me."

"Derek, a month ago you ran into my kitchen and demanded that I give you my engagement ring because she was ready," Emma said. "That doesn't change just because her mother's here now."

"It would if she knew that I haven't scrubbed in on a surgery in two weeks," Derek replied. "Or that her mother is refusing to let me report to anyone besides her, and she's making my life complete hell."

Emma frowned. "That is not right," she said. "You're supposed to be learning. How are you going to learn doing paperwork?"

"I don't know," Derek snapped. "But it's not like I can actually go to the board and complain about the assignments the chief of surgery is giving me."

"Derek!" his favorite voice in the world called out before his mother could answer.

"Mer," he smiled, standing to greet her, kissing her quickly before he pulled her to sit down beside him. "I didn't expect you to stop by today."

"Yeah, well, I figured I couldn't avoid the hospital forever," she said as she reached for a tomato off his salad. "And this way I actually get to see you today."

"Always a plus," Derek smiled, squeezing her hand. "Sorry my shifts have been so crazy lately."

"It's not your fault," Meredith sighed. "I know exactly whose fault it is though."

"She's not the best boss in the world," Derek admitted.

"Or the best mother," Meredith sighed. "Are you at least getting to scrub in on lots of good surgeries?"

"Yes, Derek," Emma said, giving her son a pointed look. "How is surgery going?"

Derek cleared his throat, a tight smile on his lips. "Oh, you know," he sighed. "Surgery's surgery. I won't bore you with the details."

Meredith glanced between Derek and Emma for a moment before she frowned. "What am I missing?" she asked.

"Yes, Derek," Emma said. "What is she missing?"

Before Derek could respond, Meredith's eyes widened and she pulled away from Derek.

"What's wrong?" he asked, quickly receiving his answer when he saw Ellis Grey march into the cafeteria. "Oh."

"Maybe she won't see us," Meredith said hopefully as she ducked her head down.

"Too late," Derek sighed, reaching for her hand.

"Dr. Shepherd," Ellis snapped as she stopped at their table. "Where are those labs I asked for?"

"I'm just eating lunch, Dr. Grey," Derek said politely. "I'll have them done in the next hour."

"Nonsense," Ellis shook her head. "How do you expect to be a good doctor if you're spending your lunch flirting away with some slacking girl."

"Excuse me," Emma interrupted, standing to get closer to Ellis. "But I do not think that is an appropriate way to speak to your employee and certainly not about your own daughter."

Ellis stared at her for a moment before she asked, "Who are you?"

"Emma Shepherd," Emma said. "Derek's mother. And from what I can see, I'm already a better mother to your daughter than you ever were."

"I will not tolerate being treated like this in my own hospital," Ellis frowned. "How dare you…"

"She's right."

"Excuse me, Meredith Elizabeth?" Ellis asked, turning to look at her daughter.

"She's right," Meredith said, standing to meet her mother face to face. "You have no right to treat Derek like this. He's an amazing surgeon."

"As if you would know the first thing about being a surgeon," Ellis rolled her eyes.

"I know that Derek cares," Meredith argued. "And he graduated number one in his class from med school, on a full scholarship."

"That means nothing."

"Yes it does!" Meredith cried, tears filling her eyes. "Derek's the best intern you've got, and you're wasting his talents on paperwork and labs! And Emma…she's been more of a mother to me in the past year than you have ever been in twenty four years. She cares about me, which is a lot more than I can say for you."

"I raised you."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "You handed me over to nannies until I was twelve. And then I was always alone because you didn't want to waste your money on child care anymore. And you know what? I feel sorry for you. Because you had a daughter who only ever wanted to get close to you until she realized that her mother is incapable of love. So while you're spending your life in a cold, sterile OR performing appies, I'm going to be doing something I love. I'm making a difference in children's lives, and I'm loved. Derek and his family show me more love than I've ever known before, and I honestly feel sorry for you that you aren't capable of experiencing that. I had a miserable childhood, but now…now I'm happy. And I'm going to make sure that my children never feel unloved for a single second of their life."

There was complete silence in the cafeteria as Meredith finally realized she was shouting, the doctors and family members who had been eating now staring at her with wide eyes. Derek reached for her hand, squeezing it in silent support. Ellis stared at her daughter with wide eyes before she spoke in a flat tone.

"If that's how you feel," she said evenly. "Then I will be happy to pretend that I never had a daughter." With that, she turned and walked out of the cafeteria, leaving Meredith to collapse against Derek, tears filling her eyes.

"Mer," he breathed, holding her close to him. "God, that was amazing."

"I can't…Derek, I can't believe I just did that," she whispered, clutching onto his shirt.

"Meredith, are you alright?" Emma asked softly.

Meredith turned from Derek to look at Emma with wide eyes. "I don't know," she whispered.

"Come here, dear," Emma said, pulling her from Derek's arms to hers, stroking her hair gently. "I'm very proud of you."

"You are?" Meredith frowned, resting her head against Emma's shoulder.

"Extremely," Emma nodded. "That took a lot of courage, and not many people would be able to do it."

Meredith sniffled some of her tears away, taking a deep breath as she relaxed into Emma's embrace.

"And you know that I would be more than happy to be your mother," Emma continued. "Michael and I have long ago stopped thinking that we have only four daughters."

Meredith smiled as she pulled back. "Really?" she asked.

"Really," Emma promised, pushing some hair out of Meredith's face and kissing her forehead softly. "You're an amazing woman, Meredith. Caring and compassionate, full of life. And you are so good for my son. I couldn't imagine a better match for him or a better addition for our family."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered.

"Are you alright?" Emma asked.

"I will be," Meredith smiled.

"Good," Emma nodded. "Let Derek take care of you. He's good at that."

"I know," Meredith smiled, turning to reach for Derek's hand.

"I just want to make sure my girl's happy," Derek said, looking at her closely. "Are you?"

"Happier than ever," she nodded. "And that's because of you."

Derek smiled as he pressed a kiss to her lips. "Me too," he whispered. "Me too."

XXXXX

Meredith smiled as she looked down at the text message from Derek while her students worked diligently on their subtraction problems a few days later. He'd somehow realized how much affection she had missed out on as a child, and as a result he was trying to make up for it in earnest. And he was succeeding.

_I just woke up, and the apartment's completely empty without your amazing giggle. Miss you._

She shook her head as she quickly texted him back, telling him she would call him at lunch. She hadn't thought that it was possible, but she had definitely fallen even more in love with the amazing man she was lucky enough to call her boyfriend. And it didn't even matter that he hadn't proposed yet.

"Miss Grey."

Meredith looked up at the sound of her name to see the school secretary standing in her doorway. "Yes?"

"You have a phone call in the main office."

"Can you take a message, please?" Meredith requested.

"They said it's urgent," the secretary insisted, a smile playing on her lips. "I'll watch your class."

"Okay," Meredith nodding, stepping into the hall as her heart pounded, hoping nothing was wrong with Derek. He had to be okay. This was it for them, he couldn't be hurt.

"Hello?" she asked, lifting the receiver and turning the hold button off.

"Mer," Lexie's voice came over the line, a smile evident. "What's going on?"

"What's going on?" Meredith frowned. "Lexie, I'm at work."

"Oh, right," Lexie nodded. "I was just wondering if I could borrow that book you were reading. You know, the trashy romance novel?"

"Sure," Meredith frowned. "Is that it?"

"Yep," Lexie said. "Thanks, Mer."

"Lexie, if you ever call me at work and say it's urgent for something like this again, I'll disown you as my sister."

Lexie laughed. "Sorry."

Meredith hung up the phone, wondering what in the world had gotten into her usually rational sister.

She stepped back into the classroom, frowning when she saw all her students sitting politely at their desks, staring up at her. "Alright, why aren't we doing our subtraction problems like we're supposed to?" she asked.

Silently, the student in the desk closest to her stepped forward and handed her a single lily.

"Thank you, Ethan," she said. "But how did you…" she trailed off as the girl beside Ethan stood and handed her another lily. She took it, blinking in surprise as her students one by one stepped forward, handing her lily after lily with wide smiles on their faces. "Okay," she said when she had an armful of lilies. "Who wants to explain this?"

"I think that's my job."

Meredith turned to the door with wide eyes at the sound of her boyfriend's voice. "Derek," she breathed. "What…"

"Miss Grey," Derek said, a smirk on his face as he approached her, reaching for her free hand. "I have a question for you."

"You…you do?" Meredith asked, her heart pounding quickly. This was it. This was really happening.

"I do."

"Well…ask," she said, trying not to sound impatient.

Derek smiled as he looked down at her for a moment before he pulled something out of his pocket, opening the ring box to hold it out to her. "Meredith," he said softly. "Will you marry me?"

"Yes," she whispered, laughing softly as tears filled her eyes. "Yes. Yes."

"Yes," Derek smiled, pulling the ring out of the box and sliding it onto her finger before he leaned in to press his lips against hers. "I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith whispered, wrapping her free arm around his neck tightly.

Their moment was interrupted as a chorus of cheers as the class jumped out of their seats, running to hug Meredith. She giggled as a few students wrapped their arms around her waist, smiling as a couple girls tugged on her left hand to look at the ring.

"Wow!"

"This is the most beautiful ring in the entire world!"

"Yeah," Meredith smiled, her eyes meeting Derek's over the heads of all the children. "It really is."


	43. Chapter 43

"You like it?" Derek breathed later that afternoon as he leaned against Meredith's desk in her empty classroom, smiling down at her as she studied the ring.

"It's beautiful," she breathed. "It's…it looks familiar."

Derek smiled as he reached for her hand, examining it with the new addition. He lifted it to his lips, kissing it gently before he smiled down at her. "It's my mom's ring," he said softly.

"What?" Meredith frowned, pulling her hand out of his grasp to look down at it. "No, this can't be her ring. Her ring's in the shop because the diamond's loose. And I can't take her ring."

"It is her ring," Derek smiled, taking her hand back, stroking his thumb over the diamond. "My dad told me when I was younger that I had to give that ring to the love of my life. So when I realized I was ready to propose, I went and got it from her. She wants you to wear it, Mer. I want you to wear it."

"Wow," Meredith breathed, looking down at the ring. "It's…it's even more beautiful to me now."

Derek smiled softly as he tugged on her hand, pulling her to her feet and into his arms. "You look even more beautiful wearing it," he breathed against her lips.

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and stepping in between his legs. "You know what I've heard about getting engaged?"

"What?" Derek asked against her lips.

"That engagement sex is even better than make up sex," she breathed in his ear.

"Oh," Derek swallowed hard, squeezing her tightly. "I'd love to test that theory."

"Not here," Meredith giggled, pulling away from him and reaching for the vase of lilies that still sat on her desk. "At home."

"Hmm," Derek sighed, wrapping an arm around her waist as they stepped towards the door. She smiled up at him for a moment before she rested her head against his shoulder. They stood like that in complete contentment for a moment before Meredith pulled back and reached for his hand, smiling coyly as she led him towards the door.

"I have to tell Lexie and Izzie," she sighed as she rested her head against his shoulder. "They'll be so excited."

"Yeah um…Lexie kind of already knows," Derek said.

Meredith frowned up at him for a moment before she rolled her eyes. "That's how you got me out of the classroom?" she asked. "A phone call from Lexie?"

Derek laughed. "Well, see if you can think of anything better, and then I'll admit that the proposal wasn't good enough," he said, squeezing her waist.

"It was perfect," Meredith breathed, stopping in front of her car to press her lips against his. "I love you."

"I love you too," he smiled, returning her kiss.

"We're engaged," Meredith whispered, pulling back from him to stare at her ring.

"We're engaged," Derek nodded.

"I can't believe it," she whispered, wrapping her arms around his neck again. "And we really should go home so we can celebrate properly."

"I like that idea," Derek nodded, pulling her into a kiss.

"Home now," she said breathlessly, pulling back from the kiss.

"Definitely," Derek said, moving to the driver's side of the car.

Meredith slid into the passenger seat, staring down at her hand as Derek pulled out of the parking lot. "I can't believe your mom gave me her ring," she breathed. "I love it. I really thought you would bring home some huge diamond that would make it completely impossible to lift my hand."

Derek laughed. "My dad promised me I could give it to the woman I wanted to marry," he said. "Mom wasn't aware of that deal, but she liked the idea of you wearing it, so she gave in."

"She didn't want to give it up?" Meredith asked. "Why did you make her?"

"I didn't make her," Derek defended himself. "I just reminded Dad of his promise. He made her."

Meredith stared at him for a moment before she slid the ring off her finger. "I can't wear it if your mom's going to miss it," she said. "I don't want to spend the next fifty years having her stare at my hand longingly instead of actually talking to me."

"She said you could have it, Mer," he laughed. "She wasn't too happy with my dad for telling me that, but she realized it's important that you have it. And we'll give it to our son when he finds the love of his life."

Meredith smiled as she looked down at the ring. "It's the Shepherd family ring," she said softly.

"It is," Derek nodded as he pulled into their parking garage. "And you're a Shepherd."

"Not yet," Meredith giggled.

"Fine, not yet," Derek rolled his eyes. "But you will be soon enough."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded, getting out of the car and wrapping an arm around him. "Mrs. Shepherd."

"We'll be Dr. and Mrs. Shepherd," Derek smirked.

"That sounds so…grown up," Meredith sighed.

"Well, we are grown ups."

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean."

"I do," he nodded, unlocking the apartment door and shoving her inside. "And now… we have some very grown up celebrating to do."

"We do," she giggled, taking his hand and leading him towards the bedroom. She offered him a coy smile over her shoulder before she sank onto the bed, slowly unbuttoning her shirt, her eyes completely on his. "I think you're in for a long night, my soon to be husband."

Derek swallowed hard as he watched her reach behind herself to unhook her bra. "I think you're right, my soon to be wife."

Meredith giggled as he pounced on top of her, already pressing soft kisses to the skin of her neck. She was engaged.

XXXXX

"Wow," Meredith breathed a couple hours later as she collapsed on top of Derek. "I love engaged sex."

"Me too," Derek nodded, turning to look at her as he ran a hand over to trail over the skin of her stomach. She smiled up at him, her hand tangling in his hair, both of them laughing as her skin rumbled loudly under his hand. "Hungry?" he asked.

"Starving," she nodded.

"You're always hungry after sex."

"Well…that was the best sex I've ever had," she giggled. "I burned a lot of calories."

"And now you have to eat them all back," Derek laughed, pulling on a pair of boxers.

"I do," she nodded, reaching for his button down. "But I'm going to make it."

Derek froze, halfway to the door before he turned to look at her, smiling nervously. "Mer," he said. "I love you. A lot. And nothing excites me more than the thought of spending the rest of my life with you. But you really don't need to cook. Ever. I can handle the cooking."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she pulled his T-shirt over his head and pressed kiss to his lips. "Don't worry," she said. "Your mom taught me."

Derek frowned as he watched her move towards the kitchen, pulling a pan out from under the stove.

"My mom taught you?" he repeated, leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed over his chest.

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "Chicken parmesan."

Derek's face melted as he watched her pull some chicken out of the refrigerator. "That's my favorite," he said.

"I know," Meredith smiled. "So I asked her to help me learn how to make it. And I'm pretty sure that about five chickens had to sacrifice their life so I could learn, but…I finally got the hang of it."

Derek watched her carefully, amazed at how she was actually cooking. "I think my mom deserves a Nobel Prize for teaching you this," he commented.

"Probably in patience," she giggled. "I almost caught your house on fire. Twice."

Derek laughed as he moved to stand behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin on her shoulder. "I'll forgive you," he murmured.

"Good," Meredith smiled, leaning back into his embrace. "Because there's no way you're getting this ring back."

"Oh, is that all this means to you?" Derek asked, reaching for her left hand and running a hand over the diamond. "A pretty ring?"

"A very pretty ring," Meredith nodded. "And yes…it's the only reason I agreed to marry you."

Derek laughed as he pressed kiss to the back of her head. "Of course," he smiled, moving to lean against the counter. "I kind of like you being all domestic."

"Well don't get used to it," Meredith giggled as she stuck the pan in the oven and turned to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "Just because you've convinced me to marry you doesn't mean I'm going to turn into some stupid trophy wife, even when you do become a big fancy doctor."

Derek smiled, pulling her close to him. "I'd never expect you to be a trophy wife, Mer," he said. "I love that you're independent."

"Good," she nodded, leaning in to kiss him. "When do you want to get married?"

"I have two weeks off after my intern test," Derek smiled, leading her to the table and pulling her onto his lap. "That leaves plenty of time for a wedding and a honeymoon."

"Oh, well I like that idea," Meredith said. "Where will we go on our honeymoon?"

"Somewhere with a beach," Derek nodded. "A private beach."

"You don't want a repeat of our little adventure in Greece?" Meredith giggled.

"Well…it's your fault for wearing that bikini," Derek frowned. "How was I supposed to keep my hands off of you?"

"That doesn't mean you had to take me on the beach and cause the neighbors to come see if everything was okay."

"You're the one that screamed."

"Well, I wouldn't have screamed if you had been able to control yourself."

"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry for the amazing beach sex in Greece. I'll be sure to never be that amazing again."

"I didn't say that," Meredith giggled. "But I like the idea of a private beach."

"Good," Derek nodded.

"Derek?" she asked softly after a moment.

"Hmmm?" he asked, his fingers running through her hair.

"Your family is really Catholic," she whispered. "And I know that church means a lot to your mom and she probably wants us to have a big fancy church wedding with lace and flowers and hymns. But I'm not that girl. I'm not that kind of bride."

"I know," Derek smiled. "My mom wants us to have whatever wedding we want, Mer. She wants us to be happy."

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked, biting her lower lip. "Because I stole her ring, and I'm marrying her son, and I don't want her to hate me if I don't want to be a fancy bride that wears a corset and a petticoat and looks like one of those idiots on top of a wedding cake."

Derek laughed as he ran his hand along her thigh. "She won't hate you," he promised. "And I don't want a fancy wedding either. I definitely don't want you in a lacy dress. It will take too long to get off. Or have my way with you during the reception."

"I will not have sex at my wedding reception," Meredith giggled. "You're just going to have to keep it in your pants until the night."

Derek sighed dramatically, resting his chin on her shoulder. "I guess I can wait if it means marrying you," he said.

"Yes, because your sex life is so horrible," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Well, we could have sex more than we do," Derek nodded.

"We have sex almost every day," Meredith pointed out. "I've come to the hospital multiple times. I think you have enough."

"There's no such thing as enough," Derek said firmly.

"You're an idiot," Meredith informed him.

"So I've heard."

"What kind of wedding do you want?" she whispered, moving a hand to rest in his hair.

Derek smiled softly as he looked down at their entwined hands. "I want a small wedding," he said. "My family, your friends, maybe some people from the hospital. I think it would be nice to have it outside, but well…this is Seattle, so we should probably find a hall anyways. And I don't want to wear a suit, and I don't want you to wear a wedding dress. Simple wedding, so maybe khakis and a nice button down, and some kind of cotton dress or something for you. As long as it's simple. And white."

"Simple and white," Meredith smiled. "I like that idea."

"Good," Derek smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheek.

"Do you want to start a house?" Meredith asked, turning to look at him. "We have the land, so whenever we want, we can start planning and building."

"Hmm," Derek sighed. "Honest moment?"

"Of course."

"I'd rather stay in the city until the first couple years of my residency are done," Derek murmured. "I know it's selfish, and I really love the land. But it's so far away, and until I'm done working forty eight hour shifts and spending most of my nights at the hospital, I'd rather stay in the city. If we moved out there now, I'd spend more time commuting than I did sleeping."

"Good point," Meredith sighed. "I didn't really think of that. But we have a yearly lease on this place anyways, so we can wait until your hours are a little better to build the house."

"Thanks for understanding," Derek said.

"Of course," Meredith said sadly. "If there's anything I understand, it's the life of a busy doctor."

Derek looked at her closely for a moment before he squeezed her waist. "Mer, you know I'm not going to be your mother," he assured her. "I'm always going to be your husband before I'm a doctor."

"I know," Meredith smiled softly. "But if you're going to be a good doctor, you're going to have to sacrifice some things."

"I'll never sacrifice you," Derek promised, tilting her face to look into her eyes. "Meredith, you always come first."

"I know you think that," she smiled. "But when it comes down to choosing between some fancy surgery and listening to me ramble on about a bunch of six year olds, you'll want to choose the surgery."

"That's not true," Derek argued gently. "Meredith, I love listening to you talk about work. Your eyes light up and it just reminds me how much passion you have for life. And it tells me what an amazing mother you will be to my children."

Meredith smiled as she leaned into him, resting her forehead against his. "Thank you," she whispered.

"You're welcome," Derek whispered. He pressed his lips against hers, smiling as she jumped out of his lap in response to the ringing of the timer on the oven. "Dinner's ready," he laughed, unable to stop the smile that spread across his face as he watched her pull the chicken out of the oven.


	44. Chapter 44

"Where's Meredith?" Kathleen demanded as she walked through the door to her parents' kitchen, pushing Derek out of the way as she made her way towards Meredith. "Let me see the ring," she demanded as she collapsed onto a chair beside Meredith, a hand resting on her swollen belly.

Meredith giggled as she held her hand out to show her future sister in law. "What do you think?" she asked.

"Wow," Kathleen breathed. "It looks beautiful."

"Thanks," Meredith said, smiling softly at Derek from across the room as he poured two glasses of wine.

"Hi, Kath, nice to see you too," Derek rolled his eyes as he moved to sit down beside Meredith, placing a glass of wine in front of her.

"Don't be dramatic, Derbear," Kathleen rolled her eyes. "I'm the last one here because of my stupid morning sickness, and I wanted to see Moms's ring on Mer's finger. Which makes it Mer's ring now, I guess."

"It's six o'clock at night."

Kathleen raised her eyebrows as she looked closely at him. "Well, one thing you should definitely learn before you knock Meredith up is that morning sickness lasts all day and night."

Meredith frowned. "All day?" she asked.

"Yeah, and that's not the worst of it," Kathleen nodded. "Factor in the forgetting everything you hear and the waddling, morning sickness is hardly the worst part of pregnancy."

"Oh," Meredith frowned, looking down at her hands.

"Do not turn my fiancé against pregnancy," Derek said pointedly at his sister. "She's going to give me babies."

"I'm just telling her the facts," Kathleen shrugged. "It's not my fault that all you men are stupidly obsessed with babies. You don't care that it makes the women you claim to love have heartburn for nine months."

Meredith frowned as she turned to Derek, her eyes wide with fear. "Derek…" she started.

"You promised me babies," Derek said firmly.

"I didn't realize it would be this bad," Meredith replied, fear taking over her eyes. "I don't know…"

"It's not," Derek rolled his eyes. "Kathleen's a drama queen always had been. She's overreacting."

Kathleen laughed as she leaned forward to squeeze Meredith's hand. "It's not really that bad," she said. "Especially when you finally get the end result. You forget the awfulness."

As if on cue, Meg raced into the kitchen, Emma following closely behind her. "Aunt Meredith! Aunt Meredith!" she cried. "Grandma says Uncle Derek gave you her 'gagement ring!"

"He did," Meredith smiled, pulling Meg to sit on her lap and holding her left hand out for inspection.

"Wow," Meg breathed, reaching out to touch the diamond reverently. "It's really pretty, Aunt Meredith."

"It is," Meredith agreed. "And you know what me wearing this ring from Uncle Derek means?"

"That you and Uncle Derek are getting married," Meg exclaimed. "And you'll be my aunt forever!"

"We are," Meredith nodded. "And you know what? We're going to need you to do something for us."

"What?" Meg asked.

"We're going to need a flower girl," Meredith whispered. "And we want you to be our flower girl."

"Really?" Meg asked, her eyes wide with excitement. "A flower girl? With a pretty dress?"

"Really," Meredith nodded. "And if it wasn't for you, I never would have met Uncle Derek. So we thought that you should have a special role on our special day."

"Wow," Meg exclaimed, turning to her mother. "I'm going to be a flower girl for Aunt Meredith, Mommy."

"I heard," Kathleen smiled.

"I've gotta go tell Aunt Liz and Aunt Nancy and Aunt Caitlin!" Meg exclaimed, scrambling off of Meredith's lap and heading towards the living room. Meredith turned back to Derek, smiling softly.

"So you guys have thought about the wedding?" Kathleen asked as she turned back to her brother and sister in law.

"A little," Meredith nodded.

"Well, it's going to take a long time to plan," Emma said. "We've got to call a hall and get a date, and then get you a dress and a tux, find a hall for the reception…"

"Mom," Derek interrupted, squeezing Meredith's hand in assurance. "We're not getting married like that."

"You're not?" Emma and Kathleen asked together.

"Kath and Nancy's weddings were beautiful," Derek nodded. "And perfect for them. But not for me and Mer."

"So how exactly are you planning to get married?" Emma asked.

"On Mer's land," Derek smiled, reaching out to push a strand of hair behind her ear. "No fancy dresses, no tuxes. Just some simple flowers, a family thing. We'll grill out for the reception, nothing fancy, just a simple ceremony. We're a simple couple, and we really just want to be married."

"It's Seattle, dear, you can't get married outside," Emma pointed out.

"We're waiting until June," Meredith said softly. "Derek will be done with his internship, it will be warmer and less wet then, so we can hold a wedding outside."

Emma blinked as she looked at them for a moment before she smiled warmly. "As long as it's what you both want," she nodded. "Now, I've got to get dinner onto the table."

Meredith turned to look at Derek as Emma walked back towards the oven. "You promised she wouldn't hate me," she hissed.

"She doesn't hate you," Derek laughed. "She just doesn't get it."

Meredith sighed as she leaned back into her seat. "Are your sisters going to get it?"

"Liz will," Derek nodded. "Nancy won't, but…she's Nancy. And no one can really predict what Caitlin will think about anything."

"Great," Meredith sighed. "So one person in your family likes me."

"No one hates you," Derek rolled his eyes. "It's very frightening how quickly you're turning into a Shepherd sister."

Kathleen laughed as she pulled herself to her feet. "You always said she would fit in well with us, baby brother," she said.

"I did," Derek nodded, wrapping an arm around Meredith's shoulders. "You okay?" he asked softly.

"Fine," Meredith nodded, smiling at him.

"Dinner's ready," Emma announced as she walked in from the living room.

Derek pulled Meredith into the dining room, smiling at the sight of the rest of his family already settled around the table, passing dishes and talking loudly.

"So, Derek," Michael said once everyone had been served. "When are you officially making this girl a Shepherd?"

"June," Derek smiled. "We don't have a date yet, but right now we just want to enjoy being engaged."

"That's sweet," Liz smiled. "I still can't believe you're the one who got Mom's ring. I thought I really had a chance to get it when neither Kath or Nance even asked for it."

"Oh," Meredith said. "I didn't realize…I mean, I guess you could have it, but Derek said his dad gave it to him, but it is your mom's ring, so he could just buy me a new one if you really want this one. I get why you'd want it because it's perfect and beautiful, so…when you get married you should take it. Because it's your mom's, and…"

"Mer," Derek laughed softly.

"Thanks," Meredith blushed, looking down at her plate.

"You're not giving that ring up," Liz smiled. "It's perfect for you. And Daddy always wanted it to become a Shepherd ring. You're the only one who will actually have the last name Shepherd anymore, so it makes sense."

"Plus, you love it," Derek laughed. "She hates to take it off, even to shower."

"Okay, you can shut up now," Meredith hissed.

"We should go shopping soon," Caitlin announced. "You need a dress, Mer."

"Oh," Meredith said, glancing at Derek with panicking eyes.

"She's not wearing a wedding dress wedding dress," Derek said. "It's going o be a simple wedding. Just us."

Nancy frowned. "You don't even want a wedding dress?" she asked.

"I'm not…I don't like weddings," Meredith shrugged. "Marriage. I like marriage, and I'm excited to get married, but I'm not excited about the wedding."

"How can you not be excited about your wedding?" Caitlin asked.

"Because she's not crazy," Liz defended. "She wants to marry our brother. Let's just be thankful that someone actually wants to do that."

"Hey!" Derek protested.

"It's true Derbear," Kathleen said.

"Not the thing I want my fiancé to hear," Derek said.

"Your fiancé already knows the truth," Meredith giggled. "And she doesn't care."

"You hold on to this one, Derek," Michael laughed. "She's pretty special."

"I know," Derek nodded, squeezing Meredith's shoulders gently. "Believe me, I know."

XXXXX

"Oh my god!"

Derek grimaced, pretty sure that his eardrums had been pierced at the sound of Izzie and Lexie's screaming.

"Mer, this ring looks amazing on you," Lexie breathed.

"It's perfect," Izzie nodded.

Derek smiled as he leaned against the doorframe of Lexie and Izzie's apartment. They'd been forced to move out after Ellis had moved back into her house, and had conveniently found an apartment in the same building as theirs. After they had finished dinner with his family, Meredith had insisted on showing her sister and best friend, and Derek couldn't resist the temptation of watching her show off the ring. She would never admit it, but he could tell that she was proud of her ring, and loved showing it off. She'd told him the day before that she still caught the girls in her class staring dreamily at the ring, and one had even asked told the rest of the boys in her class to be exactly like Dr. Shepherd when they grew up. Of course Meredith had rolled her eyes and told him she hoped that wouldn't happen, but she still thought it was adorable. She loved being engaged, and her eyes lit up whenever he brought up their life together. Even though they were practically married already, to her the thought of actually being married made her happier than anything else.

"….and you'll have to get a morning coat for Derek," he heard Izzie say, snapping him out of his daydreams.

"What?" Derek and Meredith asked at the same time.

"A morning coat," Izzie nodded. "Oh, and when my cousin got married she had this great teacher for ballroom dancing lessons, I might have his card around here somewhere…"

"No," Meredith said, reaching for Izzie's arm. "You are not taking over this wedding like you did for her. This is my wedding. Simple. Small. No church, no roses, and definitely no ballroom dancing or morning coats."

"But…that's what weddings are supposed to be," Izzie frowned.

"Not ours," Derek interjected.

"How can you have a wedding without flowers and dresses?" Izzie asked.

"It's their wedding," Lexie interrupted. "Let them have the wedding they want."

"But Meredith hates weddings," Izzie protested. "If it were up to her they'd get married at city hall and then have us over for a barbeque."

"No city hall," Meredith sighed. "Izzie, just let us take care of this. You'll have your perfect wedding when you get married."

"If Alex ever decides to suck it up and propose," Izzie sighed.

Meredith smiled softly. "He will," she said. "He's just…waiting until the time is right."

"It's okay," Izzie said. "You've got your special day. Even if you're not taking advantage of it, it will be your day."

"And it will be special to us," Derek said, tugging on Meredith's hand.

"Of course," Lexie smiled. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Meredith smiled. "I'll talk to you guys tomorrow."

"Bye, Mer," Izzie sighed.

Derek pulled Meredith into the hall and into his arms as soon as the door had closed.

"You're quite impatient," Meredith giggled, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I happen to be engaged to the most beautiful woman in the world," Derek smiled. "And I've had to wait all day to do this."

Meredith gasped as he pressed his lips hard against hers, forcing his tongue into her mouth. He pressed her against the wall, forcing her to be completely at his mercy. She fisted her hand in his hair, tugging gently before he pulled away to catch his breath.

"Derek," she panted, looking up at him with wide eyes.

"Mer," he breathed, a hand going to the thigh that was wrapped around his waist and stroking it gently.

"We should…apartment," Meredith breathed.

"Definitely," Derek nodded, pulling away from her and tugging on her hand.

Meredith giggled as Derek dragged her down the hall. "Impatient are we?" she asked.

"I have a forty eight hour shift starting tomorrow morning," Derek sighed, pulling her close and inhaling the lavender scent of her hair. "I plan to absorb all the Meredith I can get until then."

Meredith smiled as she rested her head against his shoulder. "I hate internships," she sighed.

"Me too," Derek laughed, running a hand along her back.

"Maybe I'll stop by," Meredith smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck. "So…you know, you won't have to miss me too much."

"I like that plan," Derek smiled, squeezing her tightly.

"Good," she nodded, pressing her lips against his. "Now let's get inside."

"Inside is good," Derek nodded, pulling her into the apartment.

Meredith giggled as Derek dragged her towards the bedroom. She had an amazing fiancé and they were going to have an amazing future together. She just hoped that everyone would understand her desire to have a small wedding. Because she wanted a marriage, not a wedding, but no one seemed to understand that. She just wanted to be Derek's wife, but she didn't need to be his bride. No one but Derek seemed to understand that, but maybe that was enough. She hoped that was enough


	45. Chapter 45

Derek sighed as he stood at the nurse's station, scribbling over a chart and trying to ignore the stares he was getting from the nurses and his fellow interns. He was going to kill Mark. Apparently even though Meredith didn't even work at the hospital, news had spread quickly throughout the hospital that he was officially of limits now. He had a feeling that his best friend had something to do with the fact that pretty much every female was staring at him with apt curiosity, undoubtedly wondering who had taken their hope of ever becoming Mrs. Shepherd.

"Excuse me, Doctor," a hot voice purred in his ear at the same moment he felt a hand run over his back. "I believe I need an exam."

Derek swallowed hard as he looked around the quiet halls of the hospital at night before he turned to look into the sparkling eyes of fiancé. "Mer," he breathed. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm not Meredith," she shook her head, taking his hand and pulling him towards a nearby on call room. "I'm a stranger. Who needs an exam. A very…thorough exam. From a hot doctor."

Derek smiled as he pushed her into the room, quickly slamming the door behind them as he pulled on the bottom of her shirt. "Well then…I'm going to have to ask you to strip out of your clothes."

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd," Meredith purred as she pulled her shirt over her head, revealing a lacy red bra.

"Oh," Derek gasped, reaching out to pull her close to him. Before she could get any closer, however, the beeping of his pager cut through the room, and they both stepped back, dejected and disappointed. "Crap," Derek breathed as he looked down at it. "911, I have to go."

"It's okay," Meredith smiled softly. "Go save a life, I'll just go home. It's late anyways."

"Sorry Mer," Derek breathed, kissing her quickly before he ran out of the on call room, leaving her alone.

Meredith sighed as she reached for her shirt, slipping it over her head before she stepped out of the on call room, wondering why she had even bothered trying to come over here. Derek had been busy at the hospital for the past week, and although she understood that, she couldn't help but miss him.

"Hey, Mer," a familiar voice said from behind her, and she turned to smile at Addison.

"Hi," she said as she leaned against the wall.

"It's almost midnight, what are you doing here?" Addison asked.

"I thought I would surprise Derek," Meredith sighed. "I know it's taking a chance to visit him while he's at work, but he got paged."

"That's too bad," Addison sighed. She looked closely at Meredith for a moment before she asked, "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," Meredith nodded. "I'm just…thinking about the wedding and then I missed Derek, and this is the second night in a row, he's had to spend here, so I figured I could at least see him. Which I did, but then he got stupid paged."

"Okay," Addison nodded, grabbing Meredith's arm and pulling her down the hall.

"What are you doing?" Meredith frowned, trying to pull her arm out of Meredith's grasp.

"To a conference room," Addison nodded. "Because you need girl talk. And we're in a hospital so I don't have tequila and chick flicks, but I'll make do. I'll be right back."

"Addison…" Meredith rolled her eyes as Addison slammed the door shut behind her. She looked around the empty conference room for a moment before she reached for a file sitting on the table. She smiled softly as she read over the chart, unable to understand anything that was written there, but recognizing Derek's messy handwriting and his obvious determination to do the best for his patient.

"Okay," Addison announced as she walked back into the room a few minutes later. "I've got apple juice and candy bars from the vending machines. And for your viewing pleasure…" She smiled as she dropped a magazine on the table.

"I don't need dirty magazines," Meredith rolled her eyes, reaching for a piece of chocolate.

"Well, you obviously came here for sex," Addison shrugged. "I just figured that you would want something to help you with that."

"I have a completely healthy sex life," Meredith said. "Believe me."

Addison smiled slyly. "I know," she said. "But that's another conversation. What's got you all pouty?"

"I'm not pouty," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"But you are," Addison said. "What's going on with you?"

Meredith shrugged as she twisted her engagement ring around her finger. "I'm excited to be married," she said. "I really am. But…for some reason I can't get excited about having a wedding. Which is weird, I know. But Derek's sisters keep telling me that I have to have a real wedding, but I don't want a real wedding, and I don't know what to do because the wedding Derek and I want to have is apparently completely unacceptable in the world of real weddings. But the last thing in the world I want is to have the kind of wedding that they want me to, but they're my new family and they can't hate me, and I'm afraid that they will hate me if I don't have a stupid real wedding."

Addison stared at her for a moment before she frowned and tilted her head to the side. "Derek actually understands you when you do that?" she asked.

"He says it's cute," Meredith giggled.

"That man has got it bad," Addison sighed. "Okay, so if I followed that right, you think that Derek's family will hate you if you don't have the kind of wedding they want?"

"Exactly," Meredith nodded.

"Well, it's your wedding," Addison said. "You should be in charge of it."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "But I don't now how to plan a wedding. And if I ask for their help…it's lace and roses and dancing. Derek doesn't even dance."

"I'll help you," Addison shrugged. "And so will Lexie. I mean, when I get married, it's totally going to be Vera Wang and beautiful flowers, but that's not what you want. So I'll help you plan, but you'll make all the decisions."

"Really?" Meredith asked.

"Really," Addison nodded. "There's no reason to freak out."

Before Meredith could reply, her cell phone rang from its place in her pocket, and she looked down at it. "It's Derek," she explained. "Hey, I'm in the conference room with Addison," she said as she answered the phone.

"I'll be right there," Derek's tired voice replied.

"Okay," Meredith said, snapping the phone closed and turning back to Addison. "He's on his way."

"Great, so you guys can have slutty conference room sex," Addison sighed. "I should leave you two alone."

"You don't have to…" Meredith started, her eyes traveling to the door as it was pushed open and Derek's slumped form came into the room. "Derek," she breathed.

"Mer," he sighed, collapsing onto the chair beside her and pulling her into his lap, closing his arms tightly around her.

Meredith frowned as she wrapped an arm tightly around him, the other moving to his hair. She didn't have to ask to know that he'd lost a patient, one that had obviously meant a lot to him. She'd never seen him right after he'd lost a patient before, and she hated seeing the man she loved in this much pain. She'd seen him lose patients before, come home and hold her tightly for hours without saying a word, but this was different. He had obviously just lost a patient, and he needed her. He needed her to comfort her, and there was nothing in the world she wanted more than to comfort him.

"Oh, Derek," she whispered, pressing a kiss to his forehead. "I'm so sorry."

His only response was to hold her tighter, so tight that she tried not to wince at the feeling. Right now he needed her close, but he didn't need to feel guilty for hurting her.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she whispered.

"She was raped," he whispered. "Raped and beaten to a pulp. They declared her brain dead yesterday, and now…she's just gone."

"Oh, Der," Meredith sighed. "I'm so sorry."

"She was a baby," Derek whispered. "A little girl."

Meredith felt her blood run cold. It had been bad enough when she had thought he was talking about an adult, but now that she knew he had to watch a child go through that, she had to fight the urge to throw up herself.

"She looked so much like Meg," Derek whispered. "So much like my perfect little niece. I just…how can someone do that?"

"They're sick, Derek," Meredith whispered. "Horrible sick people. I've seen a lot of child abuse. It sucks, it more than sucks. But you're a strong person, Derek. I hate that you're hurting, but I'm glad that you have this much compassion. It's what makes you a good surgeon, and it's why I love you. It's why I feel safe and loved when I'm in your arms. And that same compassion that's tearing you up right now? That's what proves to me that you're going to be an incredible father."

Derek swallowed hard as he looked up at her. "How is it that you always know exactly what I need to hear?" he asked.

"Returning the favor," Meredith smiled. "You've been doing it to me for over a year now."

"Thanks," he said as he inhaled deeply. "I don't think I could do this without you."

"You could," Meredith nodded. "You definitely could. But it's okay if you need to lean on me. I need to lean on you too."

"I love you," Derek whispered.

"I love you too," Meredith whispered. "What time is your shift over?"

Derek shrugged. "I was staying to be with her," he whispered. "Her parents never came after we called them."

Meredith felt her heart twist in her chest at the thought of a parent caring so little for their child. "Let's go home," she whispered. "You don't have to work tomorrow. Let's go home."

"It's a school day," he whispered.

"I'll call in sick," she promised, sliding out of his lap and pulling him to his feet. "Come on, Der, we'll go home and I'll make you a drink."

"Okay," he nodded, leaning into her. "I have to change."

"I'll help you," she said softly.

Derek didn't protest as she gently led him to the locker room and changed him into his street clothes before leading him out to the parking lot and into the passenger side of her car. He was quiet as she started the short drive back to their apartment, but after a few moments he whispered, "Talk to me."

"What do you want me to talk about?" she asked.

"Anything," Derek sighed. "I just want to hear your voice. I love your voice."

"Okay," Meredith nodded. "I think I'm done freaking out about the wedding. Addie said she'd help with the planning. And even though she said she wouldn't want our kind of wedding, she wants us to have the wedding we want. So we can have the wedding we want and I'll have help planning it."

"I want to help," Derek whispered.

"You do?" Meredith asked, looking at him quickly before she returned her eyes to the road.

"Yeah," Derek nodded. "It's our day. And I want you to have what you want. But I want to help plan it. I want to give us to decide things together."

"Okay," Meredith smiled. "I really like that."

"Good," Derek said as they pulled into the apartment. "We need to set a date."

"Derek, it's the middle of the night," she said softly, reaching for his hand. "We don't…"

"I want to," he argued. "Please, Mer. I need this. I need to know that you're going to have the perfect day. I need to know that I can give you that."

"Derek," she breathed, turning to look at him outside their apartment. "It's not about the wedding. You know that. It's the marriage. It's the fact that I'm going to spend the rest of my life with you, that I'm going to have your babies. It's the lifetime. That's what matters. Not the wedding."

"I know," Derek nodded. "But I want the wedding to be perfect. Please, Mer, let's plan it tonight. All of it."

Meredith looked into his exhausted eyes, knowing that he needed something to keep his mind off of the horror he had spent the last few days witnessing. He wanted this, and she couldn't deny him anything in that moment. "Of course," she nodded, squeezing his hand. "Everything except the dress."

"Because I can't see the dress," Derek smiled slightly.

"Definitely not," Meredith giggled. "That's a surprise."

"As long as it's hot," Derek said, a hint of his true self poking through his depressed exterior, watching Meredith unlock the door.

"It's my wedding dress, Derek," she argued. "It can't be hot."

"It can," Derek nodded. "Maybe I won't marry you if it's not."

"You won't marry me because my dress isn't hot enough?" Meredith raised an eyebrow.

"Definitely," Derek said. "It's my right."

"Your right as an idiot," Meredith sighed, dropping onto the couch. "So um…I have no idea how to plan a wedding."

"We should start with a date," Derek said, grabbing his date book from the table. "June, right?"

"As soon as your test is over," Meredith said, resting her head on his shoulder as he sat down beside her.

"How about the eighteenth?" Derek asked.

"June eighteenth," Meredith said. "That's a good anniversary, right?"

"It's perfect," Derek smiled, grabbing a pen off the table and scribbling "wedding day" over the date. "Done."

"Good," she sighed.

"And on your land," Derek said.

"Our land," Meredith corrected, yawning as she tried to fight off the exhaustion creeping over her body.

"Our land," Derek nodded. "We should probably get a tent, because chances are it will rain."

"Definitely," Meredith murmured.

"And simple food," Derek nodded. "Dad can bring his grill out. We'll have chicken or something."

"Chicken's good," Meredith nodded.

"And small," Derek said. "My family, Mark and Addie, some people from the hospital."

"Lex and Izzie," Meredith said.

"What about your parents?" Derek asked.

Meredith pushed herself off of his chest to stare at him. "What about them?" she asked.

"Do you want to ask them?" Derek asked. "Do they even know that you're getting married?"

"Derek," she said. "My parents don't care. I don't talk to either one of them. Ever. So no, I don't want them to come."

"Okay," Derek nodded. "I'm sorry, Mer, I just thought that maybe you'd like to have them there for you."

"Well I don't," Meredith said firmly. "I don't want them to be involved in my life at all. Our kids? They'll have one set of grandparents. And my father is not giving me away."

"I didn't expect him to," Derek said. "I just thought…"

"I don't want them there," she whispered. "Just you."


	46. Chapter 46

"Alright, I'm here, so you can all start thanking me for my existence now," Derek announced as he pulled Meredith into his parents' house the next week, ignoring the groans of his sisters.

"Please don't," Meredith giggled as they stepped into the living room where the family was gathered, a football game playing on the TV in the background. "His ego doesn't need to be fed."

"Keep dreaming baby brother," Nancy said without looking up at Derek.

"But…I'm me," Derek frowned.

"And I'm thankful that I no longer live in the same house as you," Caitlin said, rolling her eyes.

"Don't be mean to your brother," Emma laughed. "It's Thanksgiving. You should be thankful for each other."

"Exactly," Derek nodded.

"And Derek, dear, arrogance is very unflattering."

"Yeah, Derbear," Meredith giggled as she moved to hug Kathleen, settling beside her on the couch.

"Don't call me that," Derek frowned as he reached out to pull Meg into his arms. "You're thankful for me, aren't you princess?"

"Of course," Meg giggled. "Have you picked out a dress for me to wear to your wedding yet?"

"Nope," Derek sighed. "I think your mommy and Aunt Meredith should take you shopping for that."

"When?" Meg asked.

"Probably after Christmas and New Year," Derek said. "But definitely before your new brother comes."

"Sister," Meg giggled.

"Brother."

"Sister."

"Brother."

"Seriously?" Meredith interjected. "You sound like the boys in my class. The annoying ones."

"You can't call your students annoying," Derek said. "And you definitely can't call me annoying."

"I can when they're not here," Meredith said. "And I can call you annoying whenever you want."

"Maybe I won't marry you."

"I think you will," Meredith smiled.

"Apparently I'm annoying."

"Yes, but I picked out my wedding dress yesterday," Meredith smiled, standing and pressing a kiss to his cheek. "It's hot."

Derek smiled as he put Meg back on the couch to pull Meredith into his arms. "Good," he said. "But I'll want to marry you no matter what. Even if you lie and have an ugly wedding dress."

"Oh God," Liz groaned.

"Our brother's completely corny," Nancy sighed.

"I'm romantic," Derek argued. "Ask Mer."

"Hmmm….I say corny," Meredith nodded, giggling as she pulled away from him. "I'm going to go see if Emma needs help in the kitchen. Your ego is suffocating me, I need air."

"Don't touch any of the food," Derek said.

"I can cook," Meredith frowned.

"We're not having chicken parmesan for Thanksgiving," Derek nodded. "So stay away from my turkey."

"Fine," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Let's see what you're thankful for at the end of the night."

Derek laughed as he watched her walk away before he turned back to his sisters and father. "Alright, who's winning?" he asked.

Meredith smiled as she hopped onto the counter beside Emma as she mashed the potatoes. "Are you sure I can't help?" she asked, leaning over the stove as Emma poured some milk in.

"No offense, dear, but I'm not really sure that you have enough cooking skills to master Thanksgiving yet," Emma smiled softly.

"Don't tell Derek that," Meredith smiled.

"I won't," Emma laughed. "You'll learn to live with his ego eventually. I promise. I got used to his father's."

"I hope not," Meredith smiled. "It's fun to make fun of him. He's so cute when he pouts."

"Of course," Emma laughed. "Michael always thrives on my teasing."

"I hope Derek and I are like the two of you," Meredith sighed. "You're so happy, so in love. I really hope we can be that way."

"You will," Emma nodded. "My son is a carbon copy of his father. And he looks at you exactly like Michael used to look at me. You'll be just fine when you're our age."

"I hope so," Meredith sighed. "He keeps telling me we will be."

"Derek will never admit it, but I believe growing up with four sisters affected him in more ways than one," Emma smiled. "He's always wanted a family. And he's always wanted to fall in love. Now he has you, the rest will come. When you're both ready."

"I know," Meredith nodded, smiling as Derek walked into the kitchen. "Hi."

"Hey," Derek smiled. "Just making sure that you're not letting this one touch the food at all."

"I know better than that, dear," Emma laughed. "But while you're both here, I have something I want to show you."

Derek watched as Emma wiped her hands on a dishtowel, then moved to the laundry room in the corner of the room. She appeared in front of them a moment later, holding a heavy box out to him. "It's for your father for Christmas," she said. "I've spent the past two years saving for this."

Derek looked at her closely for a moment before he opened the box and looked down at it. "Mom," he said as he looked down at the fancy silver watch resting in the box.

"It's a Rolex," Emma said. "Completely too expensive, but he's always wanted one. He never bought it because there Liz needed braces or Kathleen wanted an expensive prom dress. But now…he can't exactly say no if I give this to him."

"It's gorgeous," Meredith breathed. "Michael will love it."

"Thank you, dear," Emma smiled, quickly grabbing the box from Derek's hands as she heard footsteps coming from the hallway.

"How's dinner coming?" Michael asked as he moved towards the fridge, pressing a kiss to Emma's forehead as he did so.

"Wonderfully," Emma nodded, turning back to the stove. "I've just got to put some finishing touches on the potatoes, and then we'll be ready to eat. Derek, why don't you and Meredith start putting the dishes on the table. And tell your sisters to help."

"Sure Mom," Derek nodded, handing Meredith a casserole dish before grabbing the turkey. Meredith followed him into the dining room, stopping for a moment as she admired the place settings, complete with folded napkins and already lit candles.

"Wow," she breathed.

"Hmm," Derek nodded, taking the dish from her hands and smirking as he turned back to face her. "Remember last Thanksgiving?"

"Yes," Meredith blushed. "It was dirty."

"It was very dirty," Derek agreed, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Best Thanksgiving ever."

"I think this one's better," she sighed. "I love dirty, you know I love dirty. But…this is special. This is family and fun and just…normal. This is what normal people do on Thanksgiving."

"It is," Derek nodded. "You're a normal person, Mer."

"I am now," she sighed, wrapping her arms around his neck. "And…we can do dirty later. At home."

Derek laughed. "Thanksgiving tradition?" he asked.

"We love dirty," she whispered against his lips.

"Hmm," Derek groaned, a hand wandering below her shirt.

"Oh gross!" Liz's voice interrupted as Meredith's hand traveled to Derek's hair, tugging slightly. "Do you have to grope each other in front of our dinner?"

"Sorry," Meredith breathed, pulling away from Derek.

"Just make sure your shirt's straight before Meg gets in here," Liz giggled.

Meredith blushed furiously as she tugged her shirt down, moving to sit in the chair Derek had pulled out for her. "Sorry," she murmured.

"Don't be sorry," Derek laughed. "It was a nice preview for the dirty."

"If you don't shut up there will be no dirty," Meredith hissed.

Before Derek could respond, Meg raced into the dining room, followed by the rest of the family, ending in Michael carrying the turkey.

"Alright," Michael said as he set the turkey on the table. "Before we carve this, Emma and I want to say how grateful we are for the new additions to the family. Kyle, our first grandson, and Kathleen's new baby are both very exciting, and we have our wonderful new daughter to welcome as well. We're so glad that Derek has found you, Meredith, and it's our pleasure to give you the ring that has represented our love and to include you in our family. Derek's happier than he ever has been with you, and we're thrilled that you have come into our life."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered, squeezing Derek's hand as she surprised herself with the tears building in her eyes.

"Well said, Dad," Derek nodded, leaning close to brush a tear from Meredith's eye. "I love you," he whispered.

"I love you too," she whispered back.

"Alright, now let's eat," Caitlin exclaimed, sensing Meredith's need to have the attention shifted off of her.

In that moment, complete chaos erupted throughout the dining room as Michael began to cut the turkey, Emma moved to pour the wine, and everyone began to yell across the table for various dishes and utensils. Meredith leaned back in her chair as she watched the Shepherds yell at each other, smiling softly as she absorbed the feeling of security and happiness that washed over her at the feeling.

She was home.

XXXXX

"You sure you're okay?" Derek asked later that night as they climbed the stairs to their apartment.

"I'm great," Meredith smiled. "Sleepy."

"Turkey does that," Derek laughed, squeezing her hand. "Too tired for dirty?"

"Never," Meredith giggled. "I just…need some time to feel sexy."

"You're always sexy," Derek promised.

"Whatever," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Let's just…be for a few minutes?"

"Of course," Derek nodded, pulling her into their apartment. Without a word, he settled onto the couch, Meredith sliding into his arms and sighing into contentment.

"Thank you," she whispered after a few minutes.

"For what?" Derek asked, his hands combing through the hair that he loved so much.

"For everything," Meredith whispered. "The fact that you're willing to share your family with me is so amazing. But more than that…you're going to marry me, you live with me. You love me."

"There's no need to thank me for that, Mer," he said softly. "I don't think I could stop loving you if I tried."

"Well, it's a big deal," Meredith nodded. "You don't get it. It's not a bad thing, it's actually a really good thing, but you don't get what it's like to be twenty four before you're loved. You're the first person who ever loved me, Derek, and you're really all I have. So that deserves a thank you because when I think about how I would be spending today if we'd never met…well, it's really depressing or something. So thank you. For being the first person to ever love me."

"Oh, Mer," Derek breathed, looking down at her. "You're welcome. But you make it easy to love you."

"I'm glad," she whispered.

"I think about it too, you know," he whispered.

"What?" she asked.

"Where we would be if you'd never broken up with Andrew," Derek whispered. "I tried, Mer. God, I tried so hard to get over you, to stop loving you. I really thought you were happy with him, so I tried to get over you. But now that you're here with me, now that I can hold you whenever I want…I can't even imagine how empty my life would be."

"I'm sorry," she whispered, reaching for his hand. "I hate that we lost that much time."

"Don't be sorry," Derek shook his head, watching as she played with his fingers. "As much as I hated the fact that we were apart, I think it made us stronger."

"You do?" Meredith asked, turning to look up at him.

"I really do," Derek nodded. "I missed you, Mer, so much. But I feel like now I know how much more I treasure you. Since I know how miserable it is to live without you I don't ever take you for granted anymore. Not like I ever did to begin with, but now…I make sure that I can always remember the details of our last kiss. I never leave you without telling you how much I love you. I can't just let this become routine, I love you too much for that."

"I love you too," she whispered. "Do you really do that?"

"I do," Derek smiled down at her.

"What were the details of our last kiss?" Meredith asked, a sparkle in her eyes.

"Hmm," Derek sighed, frowning as he pretended to think. "The details seem to be a bit fuzzy."

"Are they?" Meredith giggled.

"They are," Derek nodded. "Maybe we should…refresh my memory."

"I don't know if I want to kiss a man who doesn't remember kissing me," Meredith sighed dramatically.

"I think you do," Derek whispered, leaning his head down.

"I do?" she whispered, her lips millimeters from his.

"You do," Derek nodded as he pressed his lips firmly against hers, moving to lay over her on the couch.

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed against his lips. "Dirty?"

"Very dirty," he said, sitting up from the couch and pulling her to her feet. "Bedroom, Miss Grey?"

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd," she smiled as she followed him into the bedroom, laughing loudly as he threw her onto the bed. It was definitely good to be loved.


	47. Chapter 47

**Here's a treat for you all for your amazing reviews. Keep it up! Enjoy ;)**

Meredith sighed as she walked into her apartment nearly a month later, completely ready for a few weeks off of school. She was actually looking forward to Christmas this year, to spending time with Derek and his family. It was going to be amazing, and for the first time in her life, she was actually looking forward to Christmas.

She stopped short as soon as she entered the living room, frowning at the candlelight, the soft jazz, and the pile of blankets set up into a makeshift bed in front of the fireplace. Derek must have gotten home early, a rare but exciting occurrence.

"Derek?" she called into the bedroom, dropping her bag on the floor and slipping out of her coat.

"Hey," he smiled, coming out of the bedroom. "You're home early."

"So are you," she smiled, making her way through the candles to stop in front of him. "Are you trying to seduce me?"

Derek smiled as he wrapped his arms around her waist. "Is it working?" he asked.

"Well, the scene is very romantic," she nodded. "Throw in some alcohol and food and I'm all yours, all night."

"Promising," Derek smiled, pressing his lips to hers. "The wine's on the table and the pizza's on its way."

"Pizza," Meredith raised her eyebrows as she moved towards the wine. "You really do love me."

"That and cooking takes too much time," Derek smiled.

"So what's the occasion?"

"Tomorrow's Christmas Eve," Derek shrugged. "And since you have that stupid rule about no sex in my parents' house, I figured we had to celebrate early."

"It's not a stupid rule," Meredith argued. "You're stupid."

"How romantic," Derek laughed as he took the offered glass of wine from her.

Meredith giggled as she sipped her wine before her hands went to the buttons on her blouse. "So. Dr. Shepherd," she purred. "What's the mood for tonight?"

"Mood?" Derek asked, his brain clouding and his pants tightening as Meredith's bra came into view.

"Yes," she nodded, sliding the shirt over her shoulders and tossing it to him. "It could be slow and romantic. You know, the kind where you kiss me all over and then make love to me, slow and gentle. Or it could be completely wild, where you fuck me so hard that I forget my own name. Or it could be very very dirty. With…whipped cream. And blindfolds. And me having you completely at my mercy."

"Oh," Derek breathed, unable to tear his eyes away from his fiancé as she stood before him clad only in her panties and bra. "Um…all of it."

"All of it," Meredith nodded. "Okay. But there seems to be a problem."

"Problem?" Derek knew he sounded like an idiot, but at this point the only thing he cared about was being inside Meredith, all night long.

"Yes," she nodded. "You are wearing far too many clothes."

"Oh."

"So…before you do anything about me being naked," she breathed as she shed the last of her garments. "You may want to do something about that."

"Right," Derek nodded, pulling his t-shirt over his head and fumbling with the buttons on his pants before he slid them down with his boxers, his erection standing proud and ready for her.

"Well," she breathed, moving to the blankets and laying on her back, propping herself on her elbows as she looked up at him. "I'm ready."

Derek was on top of her in an instant, covering her body with her own as he moved to brush her hair out of her face.

"Slow," she whispered as she spread her legs to accommodate him.

"Slow," Derek nodded, gently sliding into her.

"Oh," she breathed, her eyes sliding shut as she took him in. It had been weeks, actual weeks since they'd had sex, and it took her a moment to accommodate him.

"You okay?" he whispered.

"Perfect," she nodded, already breathless. "You can…please."

Derek grunted in response as he pulled out of her before sliding back in, creating a soft and slow rhythm as he made love to her.

"Derek," she breathed as she arched her back, trying to take him in deeper. "Yes…."

Derek continued moving inside of her, and she opened her eyes to meet his, noticing how dark they were. Their eyes locked as they continued to move against each other, and she was amazed at the sensation. They were both completely silent, save for the occasion grunt from Derek or her moans of pleasure, but they were quiet. They were never quiet, but there was something special about this moment, something about how they could communicate through their locked eyes instead of the usual screams and demands that accompanied their lovemaking.

"Mer," he whispered, and she felt him pause inside of her. She nodded encouragingly, reaching up to wrap her hand in his thick hair.

"It's okay," she whispered, smiling softly. "Come, Derek."

"But…you…"

"Come," she nodded. "I'll be taken care of."

With that, Derek thrust one last time into her before she felt him release, triggering her own orgasm. "Yes," she moaned, falling back against the pillows. "Oh my God."

"Wow," Derek breathed.

"How is it that every time we have sex it just gets better?" she asked as she turned on her side to look at him.

"Practice," he laughed. "And we have a lot of practice."

"We do," she smiled, cuddling into him. "I missed you these past couple weeks."

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I put in extra hours so I could get as much time off at Christmas as possible."

"How did the wicked witch take that?" Meredith asked, running her fingers over his soft chest hair. Ellis hadn't bothered either one of them in the past few months, but Derek still had to play his cards right with the chief of surgery.

"She didn't seem to care," he sighed. "Said something about holidays being for the weak, but she let me have five days off."

"That's nice," Meredith smiled.

"So we can have five days of this," he smiled.

"I like this," she whispered.

"Me too," he smiled, pulling her into another kiss. "You ready?"

Before Meredith could answer, the buzzer went off and he sighed. "Pizza."

"Pizza," Meredith nodded, reaching for his boxers. "Bring me food."

"Of course," he laughed, sliding into his boxers and t-shirt and pulling his wallet out of his pants. "I'll be right back.

"Hurry," she breathed.

Derek disappeared as he opened the door and exchanged a few words with the delivery man. Meredith smiled to herself as she pushed the blankets over her heated body, ready to give Derek a surprise when he came back.

He was grateful he had the pizza box grasped tightly in his hands when he returned to the fireplace, because when he laid eyes on Meredith, legs spread as her own hand gently stroked herself, he was sure that he'd never seen anything hotter.

"I couldn't wait," she purred, throwing her head back against the pillows.

"Pizza's better cold," Derek said, setting the box on the table and quickly shedding his clothes again. "God Mer. You are so incredibly hot."

"When you're at the hospital," she said, her fingers inside of herself. "I have to take care of myself."

Derek watched in fascination as her flushed body arched against the blankets. He ignored his own needs as he stared at her, knowing that this was probably the hottest thing he had ever seen.

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed as her eyes fell closed, and as Derek stared at her he realized that she probably wasn't even aware that he was watching. She was so caught up in her sexual fog that she wasn't even paying attention to her surroundings, only to the need building in her body.

"Oh," she gasped, her other hand moving to her own nipple. "Derek…"

Derek felt himself twitch with a need to be inside of her, but he had to wait. He had to watch this.

"Yes," Meredith whispered before repeating his name as her body tightened. "Oh God, Derek…"

When he was sure that he couldn't take it anymore, he sank onto the blankets between her spread legs, grabbing her hand just as her orgasm washed over her.

"Wha…" Meredith opened her eyes, surprised to see him leaning over her.

"I need you," was his only explanation before he thrust hard into her just as she finished coming, causing her to scream loudly.

"Derek!" she cried as she wrapped a leg around his waist.

"Keep coming," he ordered, his hand moving down to where they were joint.

"Oh God," she breathed, her head tilting back as she felt her orgasms building, one right after another. Only Derek had ever been able to do this to her, and the pleasure was almost too much. "Yes…"

"Tell me what you want," he said as he continued to pound into her.

"You," she moaned. "I want you to fuck me with that hard, huge cock of yours."

"You want me to fill you completely?" he asked. "You want to forget about everything except me."

"Yes," she cried. "Oh God…you're….God…so good. Best…best…"

"Am I the best you've ever had?" he whispered.

"Yes," she nodded, her head suddenly feeling light. "Best. And biggest…"

Derek's only response was to pound harder into her, holding her hands above her head before he ducked his head down to take a nipple into his mouth, sucking eagerly.

"Derek!" she screamed his name as she felt him begin to pick up his pace, suddenly rubbing against her g-spot. "Oh yes…there, please don't stop, please…"

"You're so hot when you beg," his hot breath whispered in her ear. "Keep begging for me."

"Please," she gasped, wrapping an arm around his neck and tilting her head back as he feasted on the soft skin of her neck. "Oh, Derek. I need…I need."

"Tell me," he demanded. "Tell me exactly what you want."

"Please," she breathed. "Take me. Just fuck me hard and fast, I need you. I need you so badly, Derek, it hurts."

Derek smiled as he pulled out of her completely, resting his hands on her shoulders to steady her as he thrust into her hard and fast, going as deep as he could go.

"Oh God!" she screamed. "Yes, Derek. Please…again."

Derek repeated the forceful thrusting, causing her to thrash uncontrollably underneath him. She heard someone screaming his name desperately, and after a moment she realized that it was her. She was begging for him to provide sweet release as the pure pleasure of his powerful thrusts overshadowed the pain of his intense movements.

"Meredith," he practically roared her name as he began to spill into her, causing her body to contract as well. She felt herself tighten around him as he breathed deeply against her neck, and she slowly came down from the complete high she'd been on.

"Oh my god," she panted.

"Wow."

"I can't….wow," she laughed slightly as she turned to look at him.

"You are so hot," Derek breathed. "You okay?"

"That's one way to describe it."

"What's another?" he laughed.

"Amazing. Perfect. Was just taken to a new height of pleasure that I didn't know existed."

"So I gathered from the screaming," Derek laughed.

"You keep surprising me," she said, turning to look at him. "Just when I think you can't get any better, you create completely new levels of pleasure for me to reach."

"Well, I am God," he smirked.

"What?" she frowned.

"You called me God," he laughed. "Multiple times."

"Well…my brain was in a fog," she said. "I obviously wasn't thinking clearly."

Derek laughed as he leaned in to kiss her. "You hungry?"

"Starving," she nodded.

"I'll stick the pizza in the oven."

"Thank you," Meredith smiled, watching as he grabbed the box from the table and stepped into the kitchen.

She moved to pour them some more wine, her body aching in a completely delicious way as she did so. Derek really did keep surprising her, and she wasn't going to complain about the new hotness of their sex. It may have had something to do with the couple weeks they hadn't made love, but she was pretty sure that this was just new amazing.

"You know, if the sex keeps getting better like this, you may kill me before we even get married," she commented as he walked back into the living room, setting the pizza box on the blankets in between them.

"Me?" he asked. "What about you with the whole taking care of yourself thing?"

"I didn't want to wait," she shrugged.

"Obviously," Derek laughed. "You have no idea how hot you are. You might actually be hotter than me."

"Well, it's not exactly hard to be hotter than you," she giggled.

"I don't think that's true," he laughed. "And based on what you were saying a half an hour ago…neither do you."

"I was having sex half an hour ago," Meredith shrugged. "I wasn't in control of what I was saying."

"Really?" Derek raised his eyebrows. "So I'm not the best you've ever had?"

"Well…I'm not going to answer that," she said quickly.

"It's kind of obvious, Mer," he laughed. "You don't need to hide it."

"Yes, yes I do," she said. "Because otherwise your ego will be completely huge."

"You mean like my hard huge cock?" he laughed, looking down at the object in question.

"If you're mocking my dirty talk, don't think I'll ever do it again for you," she said, her own eyes focusing on his penis as well.

"You wouldn't dare," he shook his head.

"Well, don't push it," she smiled, reaching out to stroke him gently. "But for the record…you are the biggest I've ever had. And the best."

"And we're done with dinner," Derek said, pulling the pizza out of her hands and shifting her to straddle his lap. "It's time for round three."


	48. Chapter 48

"Meredith."

"Go away," she swatted at the soft voice tickling her ear two mornings later. After a moment, she felt the hand return to her hip.

"No."

"Sleeping," she argued.

"But it's Christmas," her twenty seven year old fiancé whined.

"Seriously?" she asked, burrowing further into the covers. "You're whining. More than my students."

"But it's Christmas," Derek repeated, pulling the covers off of her.

"It's still dark," Meredith murmured.

"Okay, you haven't even opened your eyes," Derek said. "It could be ten o'clock."

"But you always wake up stupid early on Christmas," Meredith said.

"It's Shepherd tradition."

"Shepherds are stupid."

"Next Christmas you will be a Shepherd," Derek said, rolling her onto her back and pinning her beneath his body.

"Next Christmas you'll still be an idiot," Meredith said, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Which means you'll be married to an idiot," Derek whispered.

"Hmmm…at least he's hot," Meredith smiled.

Derek laughed as he pressed his lips against hers. "Merry Christmas," he whispered.

"Merry Christmas, Der," she replied. "I love you."

"I love you too," Derek breathed.

"Presents?" Meredith whispered against his lips.

"I thought you said presents could wait until noon," Derek laughed.

"Well, if you're going to wake me up in the middle of the night, I might as well get presents out of it," Meredith sighed.

"Right," Derek said. "You'll get presents."

Meredith smiled. "I'll be right back," she said, kissing him quickly before she slid into the bathroom.

As she ran a hairbrush through her hair, she stopped for a moment and looked at herself in the mirror. A year ago she'd spent Christmas here in the same way, waking up in Derek's arms and arguing about it being too early. She knew what to expect from a Christmas with the Shepherds, but there was something different about this year. Now she was engaged to Derek, she was sure that she would be with him forever. She smiled as she ran her thumb over the engagement ring, knowing that this Christmas would be even better than last.

"Mer?" Derek's voice came from the other side of the door. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah," she smiled as she opened the door and pressed her lips against his. "Let's go have Christmas."

Derek smiled as he took her hand and pulled her into the hall. "You're excited about Christmas," he said.

Meredith shrugged. "I am," she said. "This is my first real Christmas."

"You were here last year for Christmas," Derek frowned.

"I know," she nodded. "But it was different. Now we're engaged, and I'm going to be here every Christmas for the rest of my life. It's different than it was last year. So I'm more excited."

She looked up at Derek as he gazed down at her through hooded eyes. She loved the way he looked at her like this, and she couldn't help the way her hand automatically moved into his hair as she pulled his lips down to meet hers. He kissed her softly, nothing more than a kiss that she knew said everything that he didn't have the words to say to her. He held her gently against him, his kiss soft and gentle as she felt completely welcome in his arms, in his home. He rarely kissed her like this, taking the time to just kiss her without the promise of anything more, but she loved it. She loved the gentle way he cupped her cheek in his hand before he moved it to gently move her hair out of her face, his lips all the while working against hers in a soft kiss that told her how much he loved her.

"Wow," Meredith breathed a moment later as she pulled back.

"I like kissing you," Derek smiled, lacing his fingers through hers again."

"I like kissing you too," Meredith blushed.

"Good," he said. "More kissing, I say."

"You'll get more kisses," Meredith promised.

"Christmas kisses?" Derek laughed.

"Yes, Christmas kisses," she rolled her eyes. "Now let's go have Christmas."

Derek pulled her the rest of the way down the stairs to the living room where his family was already gathered. "Merry Christmas," he smiled as he wrapped his arms around his mom."

They were met with a chorus of Merry Christmases from the rest of the family, and Meg turned to look at Michael with wide eyes. He laughed as he moved to sit under the tree. "Yes, we can have presents now," he promised.

Meredith smiled as Derek sat down in his father's armchair, pulling her to sit in his lap. She rested her head against his chest, enjoying the feeling of all the Shepherds together. She didn't think she would ever have a Christmas or Thanksgiving where she didn't take a moment to take in how close they were, how wonderful it was to be apart of this complete craziness. They were constantly yelling at each other and teasing their siblings, but she loved it. She knew none of them really realized what it was like to be alone, but she was almost glad that she'd spent the first years of her life alone, because now she knew how lucky she was to be marrying into this amazing family.

"Mer?" Derek's voice interrupted her internal thoughts. She turned to him with a smile as she took the offered package from his hands.

"Who is this from?" she asked.

"It's from Michael and I," Emma said. "I hope you'll like it."

Meredith smiled as she tore the paper off the box, lifting the lid and freezing for a moment as she laid eyes on the soft tulle sitting inside the box. "What…" she breathed, looking up at Emma with wide eyes.

"It's the veil that every woman in my side of the family has worn when she's gotten married," Emma said softly, reaching for the veil and settling it onto Meredith's head. "My grandmother was the first to wear it, and both my girls wore it. Liz and Caitlin will as well. I know you're not wearing a traditional wedding dress, and if you don't want to wear it it's alright…"

"I do," Meredith nodded, tears filling her eyes as she fingered the soft fabric that fell to the middle of her back. "It's perfect. Thank you." She pulled herself out of Derek's lap to hug Emma tightly.

"Come look at yourself," Emma murmured, guiding Meredith to the small mirror that hung beside the front door in the mirror.

Meredith smiled softly as she looked at her reflection in the mirror. The veil was simple, a small tiara holding the single layer of tulle to her head as it fell to the middle of her back, just below her shoulder line. "It's beautiful," she whispered.

"I suppose it's too fancy for your wedding," Emma sighed. "I'll understand if you don't want to wear it."

"I do," Meredith nodded, turning to look at Emma with wide eyes. "I definitely do. Thank you, Emma. This means so much to me."

"You're welcome," Emma smiled, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "And you know, now that you're marrying Derek, I think it's time you called Michael and I Mom and Dad. If you're comfortable with that, of course."

"Oh," Meredith blinked in surprise, feeling more tears prick her eyes. "Okay…Mom."

Emma smiled as she took Meredith's hand gently. "Let's get back to the presents," she said softly.

Meredith followed Emma back into the living room, smiling widely at Derek as she slid back into his lap. "You okay?" he asked softly.

Meredith smiled as she leaned into him. "I'm perfect," she said, pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Derek smiled as he ran his fingers over the soft fabric of the veil. "You make a beautiful bride," he said.

Meredith giggled as she reached up to take the veil off. "It's just the veil," she said. "I don't even have a dress yet."

"You'll still be a beautiful bride," Derek said. "My bride."

"Your bride," Meredith nodded.

"Hmmm," Derek smiled. "I've got a present for my bride."

"Your bride likes presents," Meredith giggled, reaching for the box in his hands. She tore the paper off and smiled softly as she opened the book in her lap. "It's our Europe pictures."

"I had them bound," Derek said. "I know you hate getting your pictures taken, but during those couple months, you were happier than I had ever seen you before. And I had to capture that."

"I love it," she said, leaning forward to grab another present from beneath the tree. "This is for you."

Derek smiled as he opened his present, smiling as he pulled a piece of paper out of the envelope. "Mer…"

"It's the deed to my land," she said.

"And it has my name on it," Derek smiled.

"There's more," Meredith smiled, resting her head against his shoulder.

Derek pulled more papers out of the envelope, raising his eyebrows. "An architect?" he asked.

"I know you want to live in the city for another few years," she said, taking the papers from his hands. "But I thought we could at least start thinking about what we want for our house. It takes a long time to build a house, and we can at least think about rooms and get plans made."

"I love it," Derek smiled. "You got me a house, Mer."

"I got you a house," she breathed.

Derek smiled as he pulled her close, looking at the rest of his family as they continued to open presents.

"Your parents want me to call them Mom and Dad," she whispered as she watched Emma open a necklace from Michael.

"You're their daughter," Derek smiled. "A Shepherd sister at heart."

"I am," she nodded. "It's nice. To have parents."

"Hmmm," Derek nodded, watching his father pull the watch out of its box, looking at Emma with wide eyes. "I want to be them."

"We will," Meredith smiled. "Your mom seems convinced of it."

"She's usually right," Derek laughed.

Meredith smiled as she leaned back into his arms. "I really hope she is this time," she said.

"She will be," Derek nodded. "Mer, we're going to get married. We're going to build a house, and we're going to have babies. And we're going to die in each others arms when we're one hundred and ten."

"One hundred and ten?" Meredith giggled. "You're certainly very optimistic about your life span."

"Got to stretch out my time with you," Derek laughed. "And that's the last time I ever try to be romantic with you."

"No it's not," Meredith giggled. "Besides, I like it. You're completely corny. But I love it."

"Good," Derek nodded, falling silent as he tightened his arms around her. Meredith smiled as she opened the book Derek had gotten her, her eyes carefully examining each of the pictures he had selected. She could remember the moment each of them had been taken, from the time, she had giggled at his insistence to pick her up at the door to the castle in Germany to the time he'd posed her on a bridge in Venice.

"This is amazing," she murmured.

"I'm glad you like it," he replied.

"And I have to tell you…there's more waiting for you at home," she murmured in his ear.

"Why didn't you bring it here?" he frowned, causing Meredith to roll her eyes. He was completely dense sometimes.

"Because," she whispered, biting his ear quickly. "It's more of a…private present."

"Oh," Derek smiled, shifting her on his lap, causing her to giggle slightly as she felt him twitching beneath his pajama pants.

"And it's a very…dirty present," Meredith continued to whisper in his ear. "Because you're such a naughty boy.

"Mer," he hissed. "You have to stop."

"Why?" she whispered, reaching to cup him through his pajama pants. "It seems like you're enjoying this conversation to me."

Derek swallowed hard as he tried to think of anything besides Meredith's hands on him, and she giggled slightly She moved her lips to his neck as she reached around them for the blanket on the back of the chair, spreading it over both of their laps before moving her hand into his pants. She stroked him gently, keeping a completely straight face as he tried to keep the pleasure off of his face. He bit onto his lower lip as she squeezed him gently and she giggled, knowing that he was trying to stay quiet.

"What do you think Mer?" Liz asked, turning to look at them.

"Oh, I…what?" Meredith asked, stilling her fingers over Derek.

"Mom was saying how she heard about a sale at a wedding store downtown. They have less contemporary ones too, and that's what you want, right?"

"Hmm," Meredith nodded, her hand moving over Derek again. "That is exactly what I want." She smiled at Liz as she continued to ramble on about the wedding, all the while stroking Derek hard. She giggled as she heard him grunt slightly behind her before he slid an arm around her waist, squeezing her tightly. She couldn't believe that she was doing this, especially after she had sworn to him that she would never have sex with him in his parents' house.

"Mer," he groaned loudly, unable to control himself as he began to release into her hand.

"Are you okay, Derbear?" Caitlin asked with a frown.

"Yeah," Derek breathed, sweat building on his forehead. "Yes. Yes."

"Are you sure, dear?" Emma asked, ignoring her husband's smirk. "You look flushed."

Meredith giggled as she pulled her hand out of his pants, reaching for a tissue with her clean hand.

"I'm fine, Mom," Derek promised as he felt himself come down, still unable to believe that Meredith had just done that.

"If you're sure," Emma said slowly, turning her attention away from him. "Alright, who wants breakfast?"

"You are so going to pay for that tonight," Derek whispered into her ear.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Meredith said sweetly as she pulled out of his arms and stood, moving to follow Emma and Liz into the kitchen. "I'm going to go help your mom." She smiled slyly over her shoulder before she disappeared out of the room. She giggled slightly as she moved down the hall, knowing that Derek was going to give that same torture back to her as soon as they got home that night, and she couldn't wait. This really was the best Christmas ever.


	49. Chapter 49

**Just a filler chapter to get you guys through the day. Hopefully tonight's the night for a wedding!**

"Hey, Shep," Mark smiled as he appeared next to him at the nurse's station where Derek was scribbling on a chart.

"Hey," Derek said. "How was Christmas in New York?"

"Pretty good," Mark nodded. "I'm pretty sure the parents loved me. Missed the Shepherd craziness though."

"I still can't believe you're serious enough about a girl to meet her parents," Derek shook his head. "Let alone go home with her for Christmas."

"You're not the only one who can fall in love," Mark said.

"Love?" Derek raised his eyebrows as he stared at his best friend.

"Well, we're not getting married anytime soon," Mark scoffed. "But…eventually."

"You're going to marry her," Derek stated.

"She seems to love the whole big wedding thing," Mark shrugged. "And let me tell you I got an earful on the plane about how crazy your fiancé is for not wanting all that shit."

"Meredith isn't crazy," Derek frowned. "She just doesn't want a big wedding. And neither do I."

"Whatever," Mark shrugged. "So I have strict orders to keep you busy this afternoon. And since we're both off in a couple hours, I was thinking we could go check out the entertainment I've got booked for your bachelor party."

"Bachelor party?" Derek asked.

"Don't tell me just cause you're having a small wedding that you aren't going to have a bachelor party," Mark said. "It's the only way I'll get to see strippers without Addison busting my ass."

"I hadn't really thought of it," Derek shrugged.

"Well, I'll make the decision for you then," Mark stated firmly. "Bachelor party. And we're checking it out today."

"I'm meeting Mer at school," Derek shrugged. "She wanted me to surprise her class with some music."

"Change of plans," Mark shrugged as he walked away, clapping Derek on the back. "Addie's going with Grey to pick out a wedding dress."

Derek frowned as he pulled his cell phone out of his pocket, wondering when that plan had occurred. Meredith had been insistent that he come into her class as a surprise for her students, wanting to reward them for being good for the entire week. He'd been coming into school more frequently in the few weeks since Christmas break, getting to know her students fairly well. Most of the girls in her class were still giggling over the proposal, and he couldn't help but smile at how they all seemed to have major crushes on him, no matter the fact that he was their teacher's fiancé.

The wedding plans were coming along well. Meredith had thrown herself into planning the perfect wedding for the two of them, with Addison and Lexie as her main advocates. Their day was only five months away now, and he could tell she was already starting to get nervous. She'd compromised with his mother and agreed that a priest could perform the ceremony, but only after a long argument with Emma and an even longer ramble about how she couldn't get married by a priest because she'd never been to church and apparently he would hate her because she was, in her words, a slut who screwed boys like a whore on tequila. She'd finally given in when she'd realized how much it meant to Emma, and eventually conceded that perhaps the priest didn't ever need to know that she still screwed only one boy like a whore on tequila.

Derek laughed to himself as he moved towards the intern locker room, wondering who had convinced Meredith to go back to the bridal store. She'd been twice, once with all of his sisters, his mother, and her friends. She'd come back from that shopping trip in complete tears, telling him that they couldn't get married because she couldn't find a dress that she liked that anyone else approved of. He'd offered to help, which had only made her angry because apparently only idiots didn't know that the groom wasn't supposed to see the dress before the wedding.

The second time she'd gone with Liz and Addison, and although the trip had been completely unsuccessful, she'd come home completely drunk and giggly, leading them to a long night of what had to be the hottest sex he'd ever had. Of course, sex with Meredith got hotter every day, and he was sure that if it kept getting better, she would kill him from sheer pleasure before they hit their five year anniversary.

It was still so surreal to him, that they were actually getting married. A year ago, he'd been borderline on becoming an alcoholic as she'd tried to move on with Andrew, and now they were getting married. She'd confessed to him late one night a couple weeks ago as she laid naked and satisfied in his arms that she'd chosen the date of their wedding because it was exactly one year after they had flown to Europe and gotten back together. Forever. She'd smiled softly as she told him that that day was special and didn't deserve to fade into the background, just another day in the year. So they were getting married on that day, a day that would always be completely special to them.

As much as he loved the significance of that day, however, he couldn't help but want to kidnap her from school, fly to Vegas and marry her today. He was completely ready to call her his wife, to wear a ring that would tell the world that he was spoken for by the most amazing woman in the world. Life wouldn't be that different, they both knew that, but there was something amazing about referring to Meredith as his wife. And he couldn't wait until she would no longer be Miss Grey, but instead Mrs. Shepherd. He wasn't sure that she would have wanted to change her name, but he'd felt a secret thrill run down his spine when she'd told him that she was more of a Shepherd than a Grey, and she wanted her name to reflect that.

Derek and Meredith Shepherd.

It sounded right to him, completely and totally right, and he couldn't wait until the day that it was official. The next few months would be incredibly stressful, with the intern test and wedding preparations, as well as making sure that he got enough time in the OR and got his Meredith fix. It would be hard, but it would be completely worth it when he could call her his wife and spend two weeks in Paradise with her. Just the Shepherds.

"Hey Mer," he smiled widely as he lifted his ringing phone up to his ear. "I was just thinking about you."

"Good things, I hope," he heard her giggle.

"Do I ever think anything bad about you?" he asked.

"Well, the other day I thought you were going to ask for your ring back when I tried to make you breakfast in bed," Meredith argued.

"Mer, you caught the stove on fire," he said. "I would have thought that a first grade teacher would know her fire safety enough to not put the cardboard egg carton on top of a hot stove."

"I don't like you."

"You love me," he laughed. "You're going shopping?"

"Yes," she sighed. "And it won't be like the last two times. I promise."

"I'd be okay if it were a repeat of last time," he laughed. "You were completely bendy that night."

"I was drunk," she rolled her eyes. "Because that's what the stress of finding a dress that you'll like does to me. Causes me to drink."

"Mer, I know you'll look beautiful in anything," he laughed. "Just get a dress you like. That's all that matters."

"I know," she said. "But I can' get drunk every time I look for a dress. Otherwise Izzie and your crazy sisters will convince me it's a good idea to buy a dress that makes me look like a cupcake."

"No cupcakes," he laughed. "I need to get you naked fast."

"Oh, I'm sure your mother will appreciate that reasoning when I tell her that's why I want a short dress," Meredith said.

"Mom actually doesn't need to know that," Derek said.

"I know," she giggled. "Sorry I cancelled. I called for a sub, but if you still want to come in you can. Just make sure you don't let any of the girls in my class steal you away from me."

"That's disturbing."

"They love you," she said. "Probably more than me."

"Wow, I can't believe this is how I'm going to be treated for the rest of my life," Derek sighed. "How lucky am I?"

"Shut up."

Derek laughed. "Anyways, Mark has some big plans for the afternoon," he said. "Which will probably lead into the evening. And knowing Mark, well into the night."

"Really?" Meredith asked. "What would these plans be?"

"They may involve entertainment options for my bachelor party," Derek said.

"Strippers?" Meredith inquired.

"Well…yes," Derek said. "But I'm only going because Mark's making me."

"Oh, of course," Meredith giggled. "You don't want to be unappreciative of Mark when he's trying to plan you a party."

"Exactly," Derek nodded. "I'm glad you see things my way."

He could practically hear her roll her eyes over the phone. "Whatever," she said. "And Der…when you get home I might have a surprise waiting for you?"

"Hmmm?" Derek asked, trying to ignore the straining in his pants.

"Yes," she said in a breathy whisper. "You see, only naughty boys go to see strippers when they can get a completely private show and a free lap dance at home. So I'll have to punish you. Since you're being such a naughty, dirty boy."

"I hope none of your students are listening to you right now."

She giggled as her voice returned to normal. "They're in gym class right now," she said. "But seriously…when you're watching all those girls dance around, just remember that I'll be waiting at home, completely naked in our bed as I take care of myself and scream your name."

"Fuck, Mer," Derek breathed into the phone. "I swear you're going to kill me."

"I won't," she promised. "Because I need you for hot sex. If you die I won't get it, so I'll make sure not to kill you."

"Well, I appreciate that," Derek smiled.

"So I guess I'll just see you whenever," Meredith said. "I've got to go pick my class up from the gym."

"I won't be too late," Derek nodded. "And just…get started by yourself. It's hot."

"You really are dirty," she giggled. "I really have to go now. I love you."

"I love you too," he said. "Good luck finding a dress."

"Have fun with your strippers," she laughed before she hung up.

Derek shook his head as he hung up the phone, opening his locker quickly to change into street clothes. As he was pulling his sweater over his head, the door swung open and Mark walked in, smiling widely.

"Who's the best best man ever?" he asked.

"You know, technically I haven't even asked you to be my best man," Derek pointed out.

"Technicality," Mark shrugged. "It's not like you have any friends."

"Thanks for that."

"Anyways," Mark continued. "I've got the names of seven strip joints, all of which have several promising possibilities for a private bachelor party, complete with free lap dances."

"You know you have a girlfriend," Derek said.

"Yeah, well, strippers are strippers," Mark shrugged. "Every man needs them."

"I don't," Derek laughed. "I've been promised a private strip tease, lap dance, and anything else I want when I get home tonight."

"Anything?" Mark raised his eyebrows. "How much is Grey willing to do?"

"Last week she did a handstand and let me take her from behind."

Mark's eyes widened. "A handstand?" he asked.

"She reads Cosmo," Derek shrugged. "She doesn't admit it, but she does."

"How is that possible?"

"She bends over, and I hold her ankles," Derek said. "Let me tell you…whoever comes up with those positions for that magazines knows what they're talking about."

"A handstand," Mark shook his head. "You hit the jackpot, Shep."

"Trust me, I know," Derek laughed. "Addie's not into that?"

"She will be," Mark nodded. "I'm getting her a subscription first thing tomorrow morning."

Derek laughed. "I told you I don't need strippers."

"Obviously not," Mark said. "But I do. So let's go anyways."

Derek clapped Mark on the back and moved towards the door. "Let's go," he nodded.

XXXXX

Hours later, Derek stumbled into their apartment, frowning as he looked behind him at the door. He was pretty sure he'd just spent about fifteen minutes trying to get the key into the lock, his brain fuzzy from the combination of alcohol and dirty text messages from Meredith. Somehow he'd managed to get inside, and now all he wanted was hot dirty sex with his fiancé.

"Oh," he frowned as he tripped over the coffee table in the middle of the living room, falling to the floor and frowning at the offending object.

"Derek?" Meredith's voice called from the bedroom and a moment later the light flipped on to reveal her standing above him in one of his button downs. "What are you doing?"

"When did we put that there?" Derek asked as he pointed at the coffee table.

"About the time that we moved in," Meredith said, a smirk playing over her lips.

"Oh."

"You're drunk," she pointed out.

"Not drunk," Derek shook his head as he struggled to get to his feet, Meredith rushing to help him. "Horny."

"Right," Meredith nodded. "Derek, it's three in the morning. I thought you got paged to the hospital."

"No," Derek shook his head. "I was watching girls dance. But they weren't hot."

Meredith raised her eyebrows as she settled him into bed, tugging his shoes off before she slipped his sweater over his head. "If this was research for your bachelor party, I don't even want to know what the actual party will be like."

"No sex," Derek sighed sadly. "Well, I could have had sex. Cause there were lots of whores there. But I told them I only have sex with one whore."

"I'm not sure if that's a compliment."

"It is," Derek nodded enthusiastically. "And I'm very very lucky. Cause you like dirty sex. Mark said Addison won't let him have dirty handstand sex. So I'm glad I have you."

"Thanks," Meredith giggled. "I think."

"So we can have sex now," Derek murmured, his eyes starting to fall closed. "All those dirty text messages…we can have sex."

"You're falling asleep," Meredith whispered, sliding into bed beside him and pressing a kiss to his forehead. "We'll have sex tomorrow."

"No sleeping," Derek shook his head. "Sex."

"Derek, no offense, but I don't think your body agrees with you," Meredith giggled as she reached for his belt buckle, noticing the rare lack of an erection.

Derek frowned as he looked down at his soft penis. "Why isn't it hard?" he turned to look at her.

"Because you're about to pass out," Meredith smiled.

Derek sighed dramatically as he leaned into her. "You still love me?" he whispered. "Even though I can't give you sex right now?"

"Yes, Derek," she laughed, letting him settle his head against her chest as she reached to turn out the light. "I still love you. I always will."


	50. Chapter 50

"Wake up, sleepyhead," Meredith giggled as she leaned over Derek's body the next morning.

"Ugh," he groaned, burying his face further into the pillow and pulling her down to him. "Sleep."

"A little hungover?" she asked.

"So much alcohol," he groaned.

"Yes, you made that clear in your fight with the coffee table," she smiled. "Which you clearly lost," she frowned, running her hands over the large bruise on his forehead. "Does that hurt?"

"A little," he groaned. "Light is bad."

"I'll turn the lights off," she nodded. "And get you some ice."

"Hmmm," Derek groaned as he rolled onto his back, pulling her on top of him. "Sex."

She frowned and pushed herself off of his chest as he stood. "Brush your teeth," she ordered. "And if we don't get some ice on that bruise, it's going to get a lot worse."

"Fine," he sighed, sitting up and burying his head in his hands for a moment.

"You okay?" she frowned.

"My head is about to be split in two," he groaned.

She smiled as she leaned forward to press a gentle kiss to his forehead. "I'll get you some Tylenol," she said. "And then I have to go to work."

"Work is stupid," Derek said. "Take the day off."

"I can't," she rolled her eyes. "My students need me."

"Fine," he sighed. "No morning sex?"

"No morning sex," Meredith said sadly. "But you can blame yourself for not getting any last night since you were too drunk to have sex."

Derek frowned. "How about you just get me my medicine and go to work?" he said.

"I'm going," she smiled, walking into the kitchen. As she grabbed an ice pack out of the freezer and filled a glass with water, she smiled softly, knowing that Derek was going to milk this for everything it was worth. She really hadn't been expecting him to come home that drunk, but she hadn't minded. Drunk Derek had a tendency to be completely adorable. Even though she'd initially been annoyed that he hadn't come home and then woken her in the middle of the night, it was worth it for the entertainment he'd provided. Yesterday had been a good day, she'd finally been able to find a wedding dress that she loved, and the little show by Derek in the middle of the night had only served to make it even better.

"Alright, my alcoholic fiancé," she sighed as she walked back into the bedroom, sitting down beside him on the bed. "Drink this. And put the ice on your face, it will feel better."

Derek sighed as he swallowed the pills, then reached for the ice pack. "Thanks," he smiled.

Meredith smiled down at him, reaching out to run her fingers through his hair as he leaned back against the pillows. "Are you going to be okay?" she asked.

"Just got to sleep it off," Derek sighed. "You've got to get to work."

"I have a couple minutes," she nodded. "Derek?"

"Hmmm?"

"That wasn't…you didn't like go out and get drunk last night because you're getting cold feet about the wedding, did you?" Meredith whispered. "I mean, I think it's completely normal to get nervous, but I just want to know. Because if you don't think I'm going to be a good wife or something, I can learn. I'll learn whatever you need me to, Derek, I love you and I completely can't wait to be your wife. But I hope you're excited for that too, and if you're not, I can…"

"Mer," Derek smiled softly. "You know I love the rambling. But my head is about to explode. So I'm going to skip the McDreamy thing and just tell you to stop worrying because if it were up to me, you would blow off work today and we'd hop the next plane to Vegas so I can marry you today."

"Oh," Meredith sighed, relief filling her body. She wasn't sure why she sometimes still got completely nervous and scared that Derek might change his mind. She knew he loved her, and she loved him as well, more than anything else in the world. But every once in awhile she felt a sudden flash of fear wash over her and she had to ask him to reassure her that they were going to be married forever, no doubts or regrets. She knew that things weren't going to be completely easy for them, and they would probably have a lot of fights, but that was okay. Because they'd be married.

"I wish I could convince you of that once and for all," Derek murmured.

"I'm sorry," she sighed. "I'm trying to stop."

"It's okay," Derek nodded. "I like telling you how much I love you."

She smiled as she leaned down to kiss him. "I love you too," she said. "If you're feeling better after I get home…sex."

"I think I'll be feeling much better," Derek nodded.

"Good," Meredith smiled, kissing him one last time before she stood and grabbed her bag from the corner of the room. "I'll be back later."

"Hmm," Derek nodded, already burrowing back into her pillows.

She smiled as she looked at him for a moment before she stepped out of the room, closing the door gently behind him. Sometimes she couldn't believe how much she loved Derek Shepherd.

XXXXX

Meredith glanced at the clock later that morning, wondering why the day seemed to be going by so slowly. She loved her job, but knowing that Derek was at home waiting for her made her want to just go home and curl up in his arms.

"Okay," she said. "We're going to have to finish these math problems later, it's time for our second grade reading buddies to come in. So why don't you get your new books out so you can start reading right away."

As her students scrambled to reach into their desks for their books, she moved to open the door, smiling softly as their partner second grade class filed in. She giggled as several of her students from last year hugged her tightly around the waist before they moved to sit with their reading buddies, but when the last of the students had filed in and she noticed a certain dark haired little girl was missing, she couldn't help but worry.

She didn't think Meg Scott had missed a single day of school the year before, and she'd seen her two days before. She hadn't seemed sick then. She thought for a moment before she realized what had to have happened. Kathleen must have had her baby, meaning that Meg would have been rewarded with a day off from school in order to bond with her new baby brother. That had to be what it was.

She smiled widely as she stepped behind her desk, glancing out over the students before she reached for some spelling tests to correct. She was an aunt again, and she suddenly couldn't wait to go home.

"Hi," Miss Robinson, the teacher for the second grade class breathed as she rushed in. "Sorry I'm late, I sent them down the hall, there was a milk spill I had to clean up so my room wouldn't smell until the end of the year."

"It's okay," Meredith smiled.

"So the only student missing is Meg Scott," Miss Robinson sighed. "You just assigned her partner to another pair?"

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "Do you know why Meg's absent today?"

Miss Robinson smiled sadly. "Death in the family," she said softly. "It's so hard at this age."

"What?" Meredith asked, her head snapping up before she spun in her chair to dig her cell phone out of her bag. When she finally found it, her heart stopped beating. Thirty two missed calls. Derek, Nancy, Liz, Caitlin…her entire body trembled as she grabbed her car keys off her desk and moved towards her door. "I have to go."

"Is everything okay?"

"No," Meredith said, reaching for her coat. "Meg's my niece."

"Wasn't she in your class last year?"

"That's not the point," Meredith breathed. "I have to go. Can you just…find me a sub? Please, it's an emergency."

"Sure," Miss Robinson nodded, sensing Meredith's complete panic. "I'm sorry."

"Thanks," Meredith breathed, practically sprinting out the door as she ran to her car, listening to Derek's broken voice tell her to meet him at the hospital as soon as she could. She tried to fight back tears as she drove wrecklessly towards the hospital, ignoring red lights and honking horns as she focused on one thing: getting to Derek. He was okay, but someone wasn't. And she had a sinking feeling that it was his parents. They weren't okay. She'd been so close to finally having real parents who loved her no matter what, and now they were gone.

As soon as she pulled into the parking lot she ran into the hospital, reaching the front desk and quickly asking for Dr. Shepherd. After a long screaming match with the receptionist, telling her she knew it was his day off but he was here anyways, she heard someone say her name.

"Addison," she gasped as she turned around. "What's…Derek, is he here?"

"He's here," Addison nodded, tears filling her eyes. "They…they're here."

"Who?" Meredith whispered, pulling her friend to the side and reading her tear filled eyes. "Who is it?"

"Michael," Addison whispered, tears falling down her cheeks. "He was closing last night. They took his watch. They shot him in the head, and they took his watch."

"Oh my God," Meredith breathed. "I…where's Derek?"

"They're in a conference room," Addison breathed. "He made it through the night, but this morning…they're still here though."

"He needs me," Meredith whispered. "Derek needs me."

"Come on," Addison said, pulling her to the stairs.

The moment she stepped into the conference room filled with grieving Shepherds, Meredith felt herself trying not to suffocate. Emma was slumped in a chair, resting her head in her hands as Nancy and Caitlin flanked her, trying to comfort her quiet sobs through their own grief. Kathleen was sitting across the table, her eyes wide as she clutched Chris's hand, her free hand resting on her very swollen belly. Liz cradled Meg in her lap beside them as she leaned against Mark, the little girl's usually exuberant personality quiet as she stared at her hands with dark eyes.

And then her eyes landed on the broken figure of her boyfriend, slumped on the floor in the far corner of the room, his hands fisting in his hair as tears streamed down his cheeks.

"Derek," she breathed, moving quickly through the room to sit down beside him. "Oh, Derek."

"Mer," he gasped, turning to look at her with fear filled eyes. "Meredith."

"Come here," she whispered, pulling her into his arms so that he could lean against her chest. "Let it out, Der, it's okay."

Sobs wracked through his body as he clutched onto the fabric of her blouse, the material soaking through in a matter of seconds, but she didn't notice. All she cared about was the fact that Derek needed her, and she needed him.

She didn't know how much time had passed before she saw Addison kneel on the ground beside her. "We need to get them home," she said softly.

Meredith nodded, her fingers still moving comfortingly through Derek's hair. "I know," she whispered.

"Are you okay to drive?" Addison asked. "Chris and I can take some people, and if you can't drive I can come back to get you and Derek and a couple other people."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "I can drive. He needs to get home."

"Okay," Addison nodded, squeezing Meredith's shoulder before she moved towards Mark, whispering softly in his ear.

"Derek," Meredith breathed, shifting him slightly to look into his eyes. "We need to go home."

"Home," Derek said flatly. "I don't…"

"It's okay," she said softly. "We just need to get to the car. We'll take Meg with us. She needs her Uncle Derek now."

"Right," Derek nodded, shifting off of her and wiping his eyes with his hands. "I'm the man of the house now."

"Derek," Meredith breathed, reaching out to wipe the tears from below his eyes. "You don't have to be strong. It's okay to grieve."

"No," Derek shook his head. "We have to be strong. I have to take care of everyone."

Meredith looked at him closely for a moment before she sighed and got to her feet, reaching down to pull him up as well. "Let's go," she said.

Derek moved in front of her to reach for Liz, who was standing in front of him with Meg nestled in her arms. "Derbear," she whimpered, tears spilling down her cheeks.

"Oh, Lizzie," he breathed, pulling her and Meg tightly into his arms. "Just let it out."

Liz moved to set Meg on the ground before wrapping herself tightly into Derek's arms, sobbing quietly. Meg looked around the room with wide eyes before she turned to Meredith with wide, frightened eyes.

"Aunt Meredith," she whispered, causing Meredith to bend down and pull her into her arms. "I'm scared."

"Oh, Meg," Meredith sighed, pulling her close. "I know this is scary. And it's very sad, but you know what? Your grandpa's very very happy. He's up in heaven, and he's going to be your special guardian angel for the rest of your life."

"Will he still take me to the park on Saturdays?" Meg asked.

Meredith sighed as she pressed a kiss to the little girl's head. It was so hard to explain this to a seven year old, and she wasn't sure that she was doing this right. "He can't take you to the park," she whispered. "You won't be able to see him again. Except for a very very long time from now when you go up to heaven too."

"Mer," Derek breathed as he turned to look at her with red rimmed eyes. "I…can we go home?"

"Yeah," Meredith breathed as she leaned into him. "Let's go home."

They walked slowly to the car, Meredith cradling Meg in her arms as Derek wrapped his arms around Liz. Addison had taken Mark, Emma, and Caitlin home, and Chris was following soon with Kathleen and Nancy. This was going to be hard, Meredith knew that this was going to be completely horrible. Derek was already refusing to show any emotions, and she knew that he was going to be completely empty of any emotions at all until he was ready to break. The entire family was destroyed, and she knew that he was going to feel responsible for making sure that everyone was alright.

"Derek, let me drive," she murmured as they reached his car.

"Mer, I'm fine."

"You're not fine, Derek Christopher," she snapped in the voice she usually reserved for misbehaving students. "Give me the car keys."

Derek handed the keys over, silently sliding into the passenger seat as Liz settled Meg into the backseat. Meredith climbed into the driver seat, hating the silence in the car as they drove, a silence that was only interrupted by Liz's sniffles and Meg's soft whimpering. Meredith maneuvered the car through Seattle, glancing at Derek when she was safely on the road. He was inhaling sharply, his hands gripping the edge of his seat as he stared out at the road, an empty, lifeless expression in his eyes. Silently, she reached across the console and took his hand, squeezing gently.

"I need you."

Derek's words were so soft that she briefly wondered if she'd imagined them. But when she turned to look at him at a red light and saw the complete honesty in his eyes, she knew that he really did need her. More than ever, he needed her to be there for him, and she knew there was nowhere else she would ever want to be. She had no idea what he was feeling right now, but she had to be there for him. She had to be the strong one, even when she was used to him being the strong one. She had to take care of him.

"I'm here," she whispered, squeezing his hand softly as she pulled into his parents' driveway. Liz took a deep breath before she moved to pull a sleeping Meg into her arms, trudging into the house where Addison sat on the porch with a stock still Mark.

Meredith started to do the same, but as she turned to open her car door, she felt Derek grab her hand and she turned to look at him with wide eyes. Before she knew what was happening, she found herself wrapped in his arms, so tightly that she could barely breathe. She didn't care, though, and found herself needing the embrace just as much as he did.

"I love you," were the only words of comfort she could think of as her fiancé clung to her tightly, sobbing quietly.

**Alright, I hated to do this, but I really think that Derek's father dying has made him into who he is, so it's important to write it into the story. I know some of you are probably disappointed, but I hope you'll continue reading, because I've got a lot of fun stuff planned. Thanks for the reviews :)**


	51. Chapter 51

Meredith sighed as she walked into her apartment three weeks later, her body dragging after a long day at school. Meg had come to her classroom with tears in her eyes and a million questions about heaven, and she was just trying to hold herself together as she tried to comfort Emma, take care of a deceivingly fine Derek, manage a classroom, and answer all of Meg's questions about death and heaven.

"Hey Mer," Derek called cheerfully from the kitchen. "Dinner's almost ready."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she dropped her bag on the ground and threw her coat over the back of the couch before she moved into the kitchen where Derek was standing over the stove. "Hi," she said.

"How was your day?" Derek smiled as he leaned over to kiss her gently. "I missed you."

"Hard," Meredith sighed. "Meg was coming to me with all kinds of questions. Apparently with Kath on bed rest, she doesn't have the energy to answer all these inquiries."

Derek sighed as he ran a hand through his hair. "I should get over there," he sighed. "She's not handling this well."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded, pouring a glass of wine and looking at it carefully. "I think she's handling it better than her uncle."

"That's ridiculous," Derek said. "I understand death."

"No one understands death," Meredith argued. "And at least she's admitting that something happened."

"I know something happened," Derek said. "My dad died. I'm fine, Mer."

"No you're not," she said. "You're pretending you're fine."

"Why is this so hard for you to believe?" Derek asked. "It sucks, but I'm fine."

Meredith examined him closely for a moment before she shook her head and sighed. "Whatever," she said, hopping off the counter. "I'm going to change."

"Fine," Derek sighed, turning back to the stove.

"Derek," she said as she turned back to look in the kitchen. "I know you're not fine. You're grieving your own way, and that's totally okay. But eventually, you're going to realize that you're not fine. And just so you know, I'm not running. I'll be here to take care of you when you finally realize that it's okay for you to be sad. I'm not running. I promise."

She smiled sadly at him for a moment before she retreated into their bedroom, reaching for her leggings and one of his t-shirts that she had somehow taken possession of. As she was splashing some water on her face, she heard Derek come into the bedroom and felt him staring at her before she stood and faced him, her eyes wide and worried.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," Derek said evenly. "My father just died, and now I'm the man of the house. My mother is completely broken, my sister is on bed rest because she's so traumatized, and the rest of my family is depending on me. I have to make sure that my mother is taken care of, that my baby sisters have their education paid for, and that dad's store is sold properly. During all of this, I have to study for my intern exams and work, not to mention this damn wedding that you're obsessed with. So I have to be strong. I have to take care of my family, not like that's something you understand."

Meredith flinched visibly, trying to remind herself that this wasn't her fiancé talking. Derek was in there somewhere, but it wasn't him who was talking to her right now. She took a deep breath before she faced him eye to eye, trying to fight off the tears that were building in her eyes. "You're right," she said softly. "Maybe I don't understand family. But if there is one thing I understand, it's you. And sooner or later you're going to snap. I hate that you have to go through this, Derek, I do. But I'd rather see you deal with this now than a week before your intern test or the morning of our wedding. Maybe that's selfish, I don't know. But I want you, Derek. Not this weird pod person that's trying to be strong for everyone. He was your father, Derek. You looked up to the man for your entire life, no one expects you to be fine."

"I have to go," Derek snapped, turning to walk out of the room.

"What?" Meredith frowned, reaching for his arm. "Derek, I didn't…you can't leave."

"I can't be here right now," Derek shook his head. "There's too much to do. I have to check on Mom, Kath probably needs me, and I missed so much work…I have to make up for it in the OR."

"What about me?" Meredith whispered, staring at him as he stopped in front of the door, not turning to face her. "What about me, Derek? I'm hurting. I just lost the only man who was willing o ever be my father. And I need my fiancé. I miss you, Derek. We can get through this, as long as you'll let me be here for you. I just want you back. I want my fiancé who loves me more than anything in the world, who texts me constantly from work because he misses me. I want the man who's constantly playing with my hair and telling me how happy I make him. I miss you, Derek, and I want to help you get back to being that man. I want you to get excited about our wedding again. Please let me help you."

Slowly, Derek turned around to look at her with hard eyes. "I'll never be that man again," he said evenly. "And the last thing I need right now is this selfish attitude of yours."

Before Meredith could respond, he turned and slammed the door behind him, leaving her alone and heartbroken in the middle of their living room.

XXXXX

"Derek," a voice said from behind him as he stood staring at the OR board a couple hours later. He turned and smiled slightly at his fellow intern.

"George," he greeted, running a hand through his hair as he turned back to the OR.

"I um…didn't you just leave here a couple hours ago?" George asked, looking closely at him.

"Yeah," Derek sighed. "I just figured I should get some more hours in here."

"I'm sorry about your dad," George said softly. "I know that can't be easy."

"Thanks, but I'm fine," Derek said, looking at him quickly for a moment before turning back to the OR board.

"I would want to be with my family," George said softly. "I mean, my parents don't really understand me, and my brothers drive me insane, but if something were to happen…I would need them."

"You sound like my fiancé," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"Meredith, right?" George asked. At Derek's surprised expression, he said, "I met her at the mixer. She seemed to know what she was talking about."

"She usually does," Derek said. "But I just had a pretty big fight with her."

"It's normal," George started, moving to sit beside Derek on the stairs. "To take out our grief on those who we love the most, and trust the most."

"I said some horrible things," Derek heard himself saying, wondering why he could talk to a near stranger about his feelings, but he couldn't even turn to his fiancé, the woman he loved more than anything in the world. "She promised not to run, and I practically forced her to pack her bags."

George looked at him for a moment before he said, "You know, I don't know you or your fiancé that well. But you seem like a really great guy. And Meredith…well, I could tell after talking to her for even a few minutes that she was special. It's obvious that you love her a lot."

"I need her," Derek sighed, staring up at the ceiling. "She was right when she told me that I needed her to help me through this. But instead of telling her that, I told her I didn't have time for her, or for planning our wedding."

"It sounds to me like you're the one who's running," George pointed out. "She's trying to help you, even if you're not ready, you're here. You're here at this lonely hospital in the middle of the night when you don't have to be, instead of accepting the help your fiancé so desperately wants to give you."

Derek froze for a moment before he turned to look at George with wide eyes. "You're right," he said. "I'm trying to take care of my entire family right now. I never realized that I need her to take care of me."

"Go ahead," George smiled, gently reaching for the charts out of Derek's arms. "And… I'll take over your shift for tomorrow."

"You don't…" Derek started, but George shook his head.

"I'd want someone to do this for me," he said with a smile. "So don't worry about it."

"Thanks," Derek said with a hint of a smile. "Why haven't we hung out before?"

George shrugged. "You're pretty busy," he said.

"Well…you should come out with Mark and I some time," Derek said.

"Thanks, I'd like that," George said, looking down at his beeping pager. "But I've got to go. On call and everything."

"George," Derek called after his fellow intern as he started down the hall. "Thanks."

"My pleasure," George said before he took off down the hall.

Derek sighed as he reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell phone, his thumb lingering over speed dial one before he shook his head and shoved the phone back into his pocket. He couldn't do this yet.

XXXXX

"Hi Liz," Meredith sighed as she opened the door to their apartment and laid eyes on the tired form of her kind of sister in law. "I'm sorry for calling."

"It's okay," Liz sighed, stepping into the apartment and wrapping her arms around Meredith. "My apartment is way too quiet."

Meredith sank into Liz's embrace, grateful to have comfort from at least one Shepherd. "How's your mom?" she asked as she wiped away tears and turned to walk into the living room, pulling Liz with her.

"How would you be?" Liz snapped, then shook her head. "Sorry. That was…I don't know what's wrong with me."

"I do," Meredith sighed. "Apparently Shepherds love to take out all their anger on me."

Liz frowned as she squeezed Meredith's hand. "What's wrong?" she asked gently. "Derek?"

"Yeah," Meredith sighed. "He's…I kind of told him that he had to start grieving. And he yelled at me and called me selfish and said I didn't understand family."

"Oh, Mer," Liz sighed. "My brother doesn't know how to handle this. None of us do, but Derek…he's completely alone now. He has us and you and Mark, but he and Daddy always had this special bond. He doesn't know how to be the same person without him."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "And I told him that I wasn't running, that I would be there for him. And then he left. He ran after I promised him I would never run and then begged him not to."

"He's scared," Liz said. "You know Derek, Mer. You know him better than anyone in the world, so you know that he's trying to take care of everyone and not himself."

"I know," she nodded. "But I want to do that. Even if he pretends to be strong while he takes care of everyone else, I want to be the one to take care of him."

"You have to be patient," Liz sighed. "He'll come around eventually. He loves you, Mer, eventually he'll get his head out of his ass and realize that he needs you."

"I hope so," Meredith sighed. "I'm sorry, Liz. I know you're going through this too, but I just couldn't stand to be alone right now."

"Me either," Liz sighed. "Where's Derek now?"

"I don't know," Meredith sighed. "I don't even know if he's coming home. I don't know if I'm still engaged. I don't know…"

"You're definitely still engaged," Liz said, leaning forward to squeeze Meredith's hand. "That will never change. Until you get married."

Meredith giggled slightly as she looked down at her ring. "I was going to ask him to walk me down the aisle," she whispered.

"Oh, Mer," Liz sighed. "I know. My daddy's gone. He won't get to approve for my hand in marriage, walk me down the aisle, spoil my babies. And that kills me."

"I'm sure Derek will be willing to do all of that," Meredith giggled.

"He will," Liz nodded, getting off the couch and reaching for Meredith's hand to pull her up as well. "And he'll be so excited to marry you. He's just…being Derek."

"No, he's not," Meredith sighed. "That's the problem."

Before Liz could reply, the door burst open and Derek walked in, smiling at the two women in the living room. "Hey, Mer," he smiled, leaning in to kiss her deeply before he turned to press a kiss to Liz's forehead. "Hey Lizzie I didn't know you were coming over."

Liz and Meredith stared at him as he walked back into the bedroom, whistling happily. "Is this how he's been?" Liz whispered to Meredith.

"Since we got back from the funeral," Meredith nodded. "He refuses to admit that anything is wrong."

Liz frowned as Meredith pulled her into the bedroom, where Derek was pulling some heavy sweaters out of his closet. "Um…what are you doing, Der?" Meredith asked carefully.

"Oh," Derek laughed, turning to look at them. "I should have told you. I bought a trailer."

"A trailer?" Liz and Meredith asked at the same time.

"Yeah," Derek nodded. "I didn't get a generator though, so I figure I need some warm clothes."

"You bought a trailer," Meredith repeated. "Like…a trailer park trailer?"

"Well, it's a little nicer than a trailer park trailer, but yes, same idea," Derek smiled, pausing to kiss her cheek.

"But…why?" Meredith asked.

"Well, I figured I'd put it on our land," Derek shrugged. "I'll need it for fishing."

"Since when do you fish in a trailer?" Meredith demanded.

"I'm not actually going to fish there," Derek rolled his eyes. "But I can leave my stuff there, sleep there if I don't feel like camping."

"Seriously?" Meredith asked. "You're worried about fishing? What about your family? Your intern exam? I know you don't care about our wedding, but shouldn't you care about the other things?"

"Look, I know I was stupid earlier," Derek sighed. "I just need some time to escape, to think about things."

"Do you need to think about me?" Meredith whispered, not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"No," Derek shook his head. "I love you, Mer. Even if I hate you sometimes…I'll always love you."

"Oh," Meredith visibly relaxed. "I…do you want some company at the trailer then?"

Derek stared down at her for a moment before he nodded. "I'd like that," he nodded. "Bring warm clothes."

"Okay," Meredith smiled, turning to Liz. "Unless…do you want me to stay?"

"No," Liz shook her head. "I should go check on Mom anyways."

"Thanks for coming," Meredith whispered, wrapping her arms around Liz. "I'll call you later."

Liz returned the hug and pulled back to smile at her brother. "I'll see you soon, Derbear," she sighed.

"Bye Lizzie," he whispered, staring down at the bed.

Meredith sighed as she turned to Derek, frowning as he collapsed onto the bed, a piece of paper clutched tightly in his hand. "Derek?" she whispered, sitting down beside him and running a hand over his back. "What is it?"

"My first fish," Derek whimpered, shoving a picture into Meredith's hands. "I hated that picture, but Dad kept a copy over his desk at work. I secretly kept a picture, and I just found it in my bag. I can't…Mer…"

Meredith blinked back tears as she looked down at a picture, a little boy who was so obviously Derek proudly holding up a fish as a much younger Michael looked down with complete pride in his eyes. "Derek," she whispered, leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry."

"Mer," he breathed, leaning into her. "Don't leave."

"I won't," Meredith whispered, hugging him tightly. He had always been there for her no matter what. Now it was time for her to be there for him.

**OH MY GOD. Last night's episode was completely amazing, and I am still in complete shock. I added George into this update because, well...I really hate that he got hit by a bus. I hope you liked it!**


	52. Chapter 52

The bed was cold.

That was all Meredith could think as she rolled over in the darkness, squeezing her eyes closed when she realized that she was staring at the stars, and Derek wasn't beside her. She listened carefully for a moment, hoping to hear the sound of running water from the bathroom or soft movements from the kitchen, but everything was silent, which meant that Derek was probably fishing in the dark again.

She didn't hate the trailer. If she thought about it, she actually loved the trailer completely. It was quiet and secluded, and she couldn't help but love the fantasy of living with Derek on the cliff they both loved so much. She could definitely loved living in the trailer, but she didn't right now. She couldn't love the trailer, because Derek was using it to hide.

He hadn't spent a single night in their bed since he'd bought the trailer, and she'd gone out there with him in hopes that he would open up to her for the first time in too long. She had been so glad the first time he'd cried on her shoulder, knowing that things were likely to be turning around. But he had barely said a word to her since then, speaking only the bare minimum as he left the trailer for work and returned to the trailer to cook her dinner. He usually held her as she fell asleep, but she always woke alone and cold in the middle of the night, missing his arms around her. Earlier that night, he had made love to her for the first time since his father had died with an intensity that she had rarely seen before. He'd been gentle and tender, but his kisses had been more urgent, his motions determined and insistent. She had fallen asleep in his arms, hoping that their love making would lull him into a peaceful sleep as it had to her. Apparently she'd been completely wrong.

With a sigh, she reached for her jeans and Derek's sweatshirts, dressing quickly before she reached for her cell phone and a flashlight, hating that she had to do this. She hated walking through the woods in the middle of the night to see her fiancé and make sure he was alright.

"Derek," she breathed as her flashlight landed on him sitting on the ground, fishing pole in hand as several beer cans surrounded his cans. "What are you doing?"

"Why aren't you in bed?" Derek asked emotionlessly without turning to look at her.

"I was just about to ask you the same thing," Meredith sighed, reaching for the beer can in his hands and throwing it into the lake.

"I was drinking that," Derek frowned.

"You've had enough," she replied, moving his pole so she could settle into his lap. "Derek, please talk to me."

"I don't know what you want me to say," Derek murmured, leaning into her touch as she ran her fingers through his hair.

"I want you to tell me what you're thinking," Meredith whispered. "I won't judge, Derek, I love you. That doesn't change because you're hurting."

"I'm wondering how a two hundred dollar watch can be worth a human life," Derek whispered, tears filling his eyes. "I'm wondering how I'm supposed to be a husband and a father without my dad supporting me. I'm wondering why I can't be enough for my family, for my boss…for you. I don't know anything anymore, Meredith, and I don't know how to be the same person I was without my dad. I depended on him for everything."

"Derek, you are enough," she whispered. "More than enough. That's the reason I've been so worried about you. Because you've been completely obsessed with taking care of everyone else that you haven't been taking care of yourself."

"I'm scared," he whispered, burying his face in her hair.

Meredith paused for a moment before she stood and pulled him to his feet. "Come on," she said, pulling him back towards the trailer.

"Mer…" he started, but she shook her head even though she knew he couldn't see her in the dark.

"We're talking," she said. "And I need to see you and not be terrified of a bear attack while we're talking."

She was rewarded with a slight chuckle. "There aren't any bears here," he said.

"Well…good," she nodded as she opened the door to the trailer and shoved him inside. She settled him onto the bed and placed herself on his lap, mirroring their position from the dark lakeside. "Why are you scared?" she whispered, moving her hands through his hair.

"I'm scared that I won't be able to be a good man," Derek whispered. "I always followed my dad's example, and now that he's gone, I'm scared that I won't be able to do this. I'm scared that I won't be able to be the man of the house the way he did. I'm scared that I'm going to change and you won't love me anymore."

"Oh, Derek," she whispered. "I will always love you. Always. Even when I hate you."

Derek tightened his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder. "I can't be the same man I was," he whispered. "This has changed me, Mer, and I don't know if it's possible for me to be a better man because of my dad's death."

"You have changed," Meredith whispered, rocking him slowly. "But whether it's a good or a bad change is up to you."

"I don't think I can change for the better because of my dad dying," Derek whispered. "I can't benefit from that."

"It's not you benefiting from it," Meredith insisted. "It's taking a really horrible situation and making the best of it. I know it's hard, but I'm not running. Ever."

"How?" Derek whispered. "How do I get through this?"

"Well," Meredith sighed. "The first thing you have to do is think about who your dad would want you to be."

"What?" Derek asked, looking up at her with wet eyes.

"Would your dad want you to do what you're doing?" Meredith asked. "Getting up, going to work and going through the mechanics of the day without really feeling anything before going home and drinking beer after beer while sitting at the lake? Or would he want you to be an honorable, responsible man who grieves and then moves on with his life, making sure to uphold all the beliefs and principles that he taught you?"

"He'd want me to move on," Derek whispered. "He'd want me to take care of the family, and he would want me to pursue my career and make sure that I could make you happy with me. And he'd want me to be a good father, to spoil my daughters and teach my sons how to fish and camp."

"See," Meredith sighed. "I think you just made your decision."

"I know that," Derek breathed. "That's who I want to be. But I don't know how to get there."

"I'll help," Meredith nodded, reaching for the nightstand. "And the first thing you're going to do is start studying for your intern exam."

Derek sighed as he reached for the textbook she was holding out. "Are you sure you love me?" he asked.

"Positive," she giggled slightly.

"Then why are you making me study?" Derek asked, a familiar sparkle moving back into his eyes.

"Because your test is four months away," Meredith said firmly. "And I'm a teacher."

Derek sighed dramatically as he set the book on the table and wrapped his arms tighter around her. "You know I haven't been paying much attention to work lately," he sighed.

"Oh really?" Meredith asked, raising her eyebrow.

"Mmmhmm," Derek nodded. "I think I need a refresher on the female anatomy."

"Well, Dr. Shepherd," Meredith sighed. "I'm not sure that's completely appropriate."

"Please," he whispered, pressing a kiss to her shoulder.

"I guess I can help you," she murmured, pulling away from him to pull her shirt over her head. "But I'm going to need something from you first."

"What?" Derek breathed, looking up at her with eyes that were laced with sadness.

"A smile," Meredith requested, looking down at him as she traced the outline of his lips with her finger. "I love your smile. And I get why you haven't been smiling lightly, but…I think I could really use a smile from my fiancé before I let him explore my anatomy."

"Hmmm," Derek nodded, looking up at her with a small smile.

"A real smile," she whispered. "Do you know that in exactly four months from today, I'll be Meredith Shepherd? We'll be married and I'll be Meredith Shepherd."

It took a moment, but a completely full smile spread across his face as he reached up to play with the soft curls at the end of her hair. "Meredith Shepherd," he sighed. "Mrs. Shepherd."

"There it is," Meredith giggled as she shoved his fishing vest over his shoulders. "And now I believe it's time for you to explore my anatomy, Dr. Shepherd."

"I appreciate your assistance…Miss Grey."

Meredith giggled loudly as Derek flipped her onto her back, pressing soft kisses down her chest. He was back. He was going to be different, but Derek was back.

XXXXX

"Good morning, beautiful."

Meredith groaned as she felt Derek lingering over her. "Too early," she moaned.

"It's noon," Derek laughed.

"Yes, but someone kept me up all night."

"Well…I needed to remember my anatomy," Derek protested.

"It seems to me like you remembered it pretty well," Meredith sighed as she turned onto her back, opening her eyes as she looked up at him. "Hi."

"Hi," Derek smiled, leaning down to kiss her lips gently.

"Did you seriously just call me beautiful?" she giggled against his lips.

"Last time I ever try to be romantic," Derek sighed, sliding a tray of pancakes into her lap.

"Breakfast," she breathed, reaching for the fork and cutting them before looking carefully at Derek. "Are you okay?"

"I am," Derek nodded. "I really am, Mer, I promise."

"You look better," she whispered, setting her fork down to run her fingers through his hair. "More like the man I love."

"I know I've been weird, lately, Mer," he sighed. "And I'm sorry…"

"Don't be sorry," she shook her head. "Derek, you've been through the worst trauma a person can face, and I know that it's been hard. You're not going to get better automatically, and I just want to help you."

"I'll let you," Derek nodded. "I promise, Mer. I'm going to be better."

"I know you won't be the same," she whispered. "I just want you. The real you, even if you've changed. And I know the real you isn't some shell of a man who depends on alcohol to be happy."

"I'm not," Derek shook his head. "And while I can't really be happy yet, I'm trying. To figure out how to do this without dad."

"Good," Meredith smiled, picking up her fork and digging into her pancakes.

"I was thinking," Derek said as he slid under the covers beside her.

"Well, that's a start," Meredith giggled around her fork.

"You're mean."

"Sorry," Meredith giggled. "What were you thinking?"

"That we should live here."

"Okay, I'm really trying to support you right now," Meredith said. "But…you want to live in a trailer?"

"No," Derek shook his head. "Or well…yes."

"Which one is it?" Meredith asked wearily.

"I want to start the house," Derek said. "When our lease is up on the apartment, we can live here, watch our house get built."

"Der," Meredith sighed, putting her fork down and reaching for his hand. "You wanted to wait until you're further in your residency to move out here."

"I know," he nodded. "But now…it's all so uncertain. Life, where we're going to be tomorrow. And I want to make sure that I have everything I want out of life. With you. So now I can't even remember why I wanted to wait, because nothing would make me happier than to build a house with you, Meredith Grey."

"Are you sure?" she asked carefully.

"Positive," Derek nodded. "I want everything with you, Mer. And I don't want to wait."

Meredith pulled back and eyed him suspiciously. "Why do I think you're talking about more than a house?" she asked.

"Well, I was thinking…babies," Derek said with a smile.

"Babies," Meredith repeated, staring at him.

"I want you to have my babies," Derek said, reaching out to trail a hand over her stomach.

"Derek," she shook her head, pushing his hand off of her stomach. "No."

"Why not?" Derek frowned. "You said we would have babies."

"I know," Meredith nodded. "I love you, Derek, I do. And if you're ready to build a house, that's amazing, because I'm ready for that too. I'm ready to marry you, but I'm not ready to have babies."

"But we can't wait," Derek said. "We don't know what's going to happen, and I want to have everything I can with you."

"Derek," she sighed, moving the tray aside and leaning into his embrace. "We can't take steps we're not ready for just because we're scared of what's coming tomorrow."

"I want kids," he whispered. "I want your kids."

"I want your kids too," Meredith nodded. "But Derek…are you ready for them?"

"I want them," he nodded. "That means I'm ready."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "It doesn't. First of all, I refuse to be a pregnant bride. And second of all, I will not raise a baby in a trailer. Especially when Daddy is working crazy shifts at the hospital and isn't ever home."

"But…"

"We'll have kids," Meredith promised. "And then we'll be able to enjoy it. I want to spend time with my husband for a couple years before we have babies. If we have kids now, we'll never spend real time together as husband and wife, not Mommy and Daddy. And then we'll end up resenting each other and…Derek, I can't have babies yet."

"Okay," Derek sighed. "But…when you're ready you'll tell me? So we can try?"

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "But it will be a long time before I'm ready, Derek. I want you to be here for babies, because I can't do it myself."

"You won't," he whispered, squeezing her tightly. "I know I'm weird right now, Mer, but I'll get better. And I'm not running."

"I know," she nodded against his chest. "Me either."

"Good," Derek smiled. "I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith sighed as she pressed her lips against his.

"I need to go see Mom today," Derek murmured.

"Do you want me to go with you?" she asked.

"Of course," Derek nodded. "I need you, Mer. Mom's a mess, and I have to be strong for her. But I need you to be strong for me."

"I can do that," she nodded. "I want to be strong for you."

"Thank you," Derek sighed as he leaned into her. This was going to be hard. He wasn't sure exactly how he was going to move on from his father's death, but he had his fiancé to lean on, and that's all that mattered. He'd mourn his father's death, but he knew that he would eventually move on, always thinking about what his father would want for him. And now it was time for him to become a better man because of it.


	53. Chapter 53

"Seriously?" Meredith heard Addison yell as she made her way up to her apartment a few months later. "Is this happening right now?"

That could not be good. Derek had told her he was going to have some fellow interns over to study for their test that was coming up in six short weeks, but from the sounds of it, there was very little studying going on. She rolled her eyes as she walked into the apartment, Derek, George, and Mark all lined up on the couch with beer bottles in hand while Addison stood in front of the TV, hands on her hips and her eyes flaring.

"Aw, they just scored!" Mark groaned. "Addie, we have to watch the game!"

"No you don't," she replied. "I guess I was stupid enough to think that you idiots would actually help me study! But of course not, you're sitting here watching some stupid baseball game."

"Whoa!" Derek interrupted, pointing an accusing finger at her. "That was just mean."

"You're an idiot," Addison shot back, reaching for the huge pile of textbooks on the table and storming towards Meredith. "All of you. I hope you all fail your intern exam. I hope this game is worth it."

"It is," the three of them said at the same time without tearing their eyes from the TV.

Addison rolled her eyes as she turned to Meredith. "They're out of control," she said. "Not one of them has opened a single book."

"Derek has," Meredith nodded. "I refuse to give him sex if he doesn't study."

"Well, at least you have time for sex," Addison rolled her eyes. "Seriously, can't you convince him that he needs to turn the stupid game off? Isn't he all like seize the day or whatever?"

"He was," Meredith nodded. "For a couple months. But he seemed to think having babies were the only thing that would really make him move on. When I told him if he asked me one more time I would go straight to the hospital to get my tubes tied…he kind of just became an idiot."

"Great," Addison rolled her eyes. "Well, you have to convince him to study. Because he and Mark do everything the other does, and George…well he just follows Derek around like a lost little puppy dog."

Meredith sighed. "There are so many reasons why it's wrong that Derek is the ringleader of the three stooges over there," she said. She stared at the back of their heads for a moment before she announced, "Addison and I are about to take off our shirts and make out."

Three heads immediately whipped around to face them, their eager expressions fading as they laid eyes on Meredith and Addison, fully clothed and staring back at them with not amused expressions on their face. "That's just mean," Mark said.

"Never ever joke about girl on girl," Derek pouted as they turned back to look at the TV.

"Well, that worked," Addison rolled her eyes.

"At least it got their attention," Meredith sighed.

"Yeah, instead of cheering over the baseball game they were drooling all over us," Addison stated.

"I know, hang on," Meredith bit her lower lip. "Maybe I can get Derek to think about the wedding, and then convince him that before we get married he has to take this test. That should get him to study."

Addison watched as Meredith moved towards the couch, sliding into Derek's lap and wrapping an arm around his neck. Hopefully this would work.

"Hey," Meredith murmured, leaning in to nibble on his earlobe.

"Mer," Derek shifted uncomfortably, his hands automatically going to her hips. "I'm trying to watch the game."

Meredith sighed dramatically as she pulled back from him. "I know," she said. "But… our wedding is six weeks away."

"I know," Derek nodded, his eyes on the TV.

"And you said you wanted to be involved in the planning."

"I do."

"So…you should turn off the TV and we can figure out the menu."

"Okay, Grey, here's the deal," Mark rolled his eyes. "Men watch baseball. Women plan weddings."

"Excuse me?" Meredith and Addison asked at the same time.

"Way to go," Derek muttered under his breath as Meredith slid out of his lap and she stood beside Addison, their eyes boring into Mark as he shifted uncomfortably.

"He uh…what Mark meant was that women just usually prefer…and men like baseball, and…oh, crap," George stammered.

"Okay, that's it," Meredith snapped, grabbing the remote out of Derek's hand and turning the TV off. "Addison, sit. The four of you are going to study. No beer breaks, no just checking the score, no nothing until you've got the entire limbic system down. Got it?"

"Shit, Shep," Mark muttered. "She's a hot teacher."

"Shut up, Mark," Meredith, Derek, and Addison said at the same time.

"Just…study," Meredith said. "I have work to do so just study the brain or whatever."

"Thank you, Meredith," Addison nodded as she opened a textbook and turned to the men on the couch. "I swear if one of you even utters the word baseball, I will castrate you with one of Mer's kitchen knives."

"Actually they're my knives," Derek spoke up. "Mer doesn't actually cook…okay, shutting up."

Meredith giggled as she watched Addison take control over the group. She spread some lesson plans out over the kitchen table, sitting down and sticking her headphones into her ears, hoping to not be distracted by the medical talk coming from the living room.

Over the past few months, things had gotten remarkably better. Derek had been completely annoying for a little while, insisting that they live in the moment and do some crazy things. She'd drawn the line at sky diving, but she had to admit that the spontaneity of a weekend in Palm Springs and hiking in Vancouver had been pretty fun. He'd eventually calmed down, returning to the Derek she knew and loved. She couldn't quite place a finger on what had changed about him, but she liked it. He was more compassionate, and he made a point every time he saw her to kiss her, every time he spoke to her to tell her he loved her. Something about wanting to always remember their last kiss, their last I love you.

His family was doing alright too. Kathleen had given birth to a healthy baby boy, surprising everyone, even the doctor who would have sworn that the sonogram predicted a girl. Michael Derek Shepherd was a beautiful baby, and Meg loved spoiling her new baby brother. Emma was still sad a majority of the time, but all of her children had taken to the tradition of Sunday night dinner, and each of them dropped by sporadically during the week.

Life was good, and she knew that not before too long, Derek would no longer be an intern, and she would be his wife. The wedding was almost completely planned, and all they had to do now was wait for the big day. It would be the day after Derek's intern exam, and she knew that he had to pass. He had to pass because if he had to repeat his intern year he would be completely depressed for their wedding and honeymoon, and she didn't want that at all. So he had to pass, which meant he had to stop being an idiot and start studying.

She wasn't sure how much time had passed before she felt a pair of lips on the top of her head and she turned to smile up at Derek. "Hey," she said as she pulled her headphones out of her ears. "What's up?"

"We're taking a break," he said. "You want some pizza?"

"A break?" Meredith frowned.

"Yes," Derek nodded. "And before you freak out, Miss Grey, we finished the entire neuro text. I've got outlines and flashcards to prove it. Would you like to grade my homework?"

"Don't mock me," she frowned. "Yes, I want pizza."

"Okay," he smiled pressing another kiss to the top of her head before moving towards the kitchen.

Meredith sighed as she turned to the living room, smiling as she settled into Derek's armchair. "How's the game?" she asked Mark with a smirk.

"Shut up, Grey," Mark rolled his eyes. "I don't even know why Shep's marrying you."

"Something to do with her being the love of my life," Derek laughed as he came out of the kitchen, shifting Meredith so he could sit beside her in the chair.

"Right," Mark rolled his eyes.

Before Derek could respond, the door burst open and Lexie stumbled in. "Mer, I…" she trailed off when she saw the large group of people in the living room. "Oh, sorry, I didn't realize you had company. I'll just…"

"No, Lex, it's fine," Meredith smiled. "Come on in, we've got pizza on the way."

"Okay," Lexie smiled softly, coming into the living room. "Hi Mark, Addison."

"Lex, this is George," Meredith said. "He works with Derek. George, this is my sister Lexie."

"Hi," George smiled. "It's nice to meet you."

"You too," Lexie smiled.

"Okay," Mark boomed, stopping his search through the TV channels. "Do we have permission to watch the Seahawks game?"

"Seriously?" Addison asked. "What is with your stupid obsession with sports?"

"It's not stupid," Mark frowned. "I'm a man. Men watch sports."

"You're an idiot," Addison rolled her eyes.

"Can we just watch the game?" Derek asked.

"Since when do you watch the Seahawks?" Meredith raised her eyebrows.

"I love hockey," Derek nodded.

"Oh really?" Meredith asked. "Because when their game was on the other day, you told me you were bored and wanted to go with me to pick out my bouquet for the wedding."

"Mer," Derek hissed. "That was so not nice."

"That game sucked," Mark shrugged. "They were up for the entire first half."

"Whatever," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Besides…we definitely didn't end up going to the florist," Derek smirked.

"Nice," Mark laughed.

"Derek," Meredith groaned, her face turning pink.

"What?" Derek asked. "Did you think guys don't talk about sex?"

"Yeah, thanks for that Mer," Addison rolled her eyes. "Some of us aren't completely bendy."

"Oh God," George groaned, his face flushing.

"What did you say?" Meredith demanded, turning to Derek.

"Nothing!" he said. "Or…well…I may have mentioned some of your favorite positions to Mark. It's not my fault he tried to do them. And failed, by the way."

"We can stop discussing this now," Meredith stated.

"Why, you don't want Mark hearing about what a dirty girl you are?" Derek smirked.

"Things I don't want to know about my sister," Lexie muttered, moving to her feet. "I'm going to go throw up now."

"Derek, if you ever want sex again, I'd suggest stopping," Meredith muttered.

"Hmmm," Derek smirked. "That's not what you said in the laundry room last night."

"I'm going to um…Lexie!" George exclaimed, jumping off the couch and running towards the kitchen where Lexie had fled moments earlier.

"O'Malley's scared of sex," Mark laughed.

"He is not," Addison rolled her eyes. "He's just a gentleman. Unlike the two of you."

"Hey, I'm a gentleman," Derek argued. "I always cook for Mer."

On that note, the doorbell rang and Meredith giggled. "And by cooking, he means ordering pizza," she said.

"Be nice," Derek frowned, standing to reach for his wallet.

"Food's here," Meredith announced.

"Thank God," Lexie announced. "I'm starving."

Meredith smiled softly as she watched Derek pull a couple pieces onto a paper plate, laughing with Mark as he did so. He was back, really back. This was the Derek she loved. He teased her about sex in front of their friends, he played with her hair, he sat with her in their armchair as if there was nowhere else in the world he would rather be. This was her fiancé and she was completely happy that he was back.

XXXXX

"So I think Lexie likes George," Meredith smiled as she sat in bed later that night, watching Derek change into his pajamas.

"What gave you that impression?" Derek laughed. "The way he looked at her when Mark was talking about blow jobs? Or the way he held her hand when you made us watch that stupid chick flick?"

"Okay, first of all, I'm pretty sure you've seen Titanic more times than I have," Meredith giggled.

"Four sisters," Derek defended. "Four girly, annoying sisters. I was lucky if I even got sports scores."

"Whatever," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And yes, I think George and Lexie would be good together."

"Well you can't force it," Derek shrugged.

"Yes we can," Meredith nodded.

"Says who?"

"Everyone," Meredith rolled her eyes. "It's called setting them up."

"You want to set George and Lexie up?" Derek asked.

"Yes," Meredith said. "Because Lexie will never ever tell him how she feels. And George…well he's nice but he's never going to be McDreamy."

"No one else better be McDreamy," Derek said as he slid into bed beside her."

"I so need a new McNickname for you," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Well, we could go with McSexy," Derek suggested.

"Or McIdiot."

"That's mean," Derek frowned.

"Are you going to help me fix my sister up with George or not?" Meredith asked.

"Well, what's in it for me?" Derek asked.

Meredith smiled as she straddled him, reaching for the waistband of his boxers. "Maybe it will be helpful to take sex advice from Mark," she purred. "He had some pretty… interesting ideas."

"He did," Derek choked as her hands brushed against his erection.

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled. "So…if you help, maybe I'll be willing to try out some of those suggestions."

"Okay," Derek nodded. "Mer…please."

"What do you want?" she whispered.

"Your mouth," he gasped. "Please…"

"Okay," she nodded as she slid his pants off before quickly moving her lips to trail over his hips. "Der…you're ready."

"For you," he nodded, bucking his hips slightly. "Please, Mer."

"Of course," she promised, slowly taking him into her mouth and sighing in pleasure as he thrashed above her. Her fiancé was really back, and this was the perfect way to start moving on with their lives.


	54. Chapter 54

Meredith stared down at her cell phone, rolling her eyes before holding it up to her ear. "What?"

"Oh, I didn't think you'd answer," Izzie giggled. "I was going to leave you a message about the rehearsal dinner."

"Rehearsal dinner?" Meredith repeated.

"Yeah," Izzie nodded. "I know Derek's mom said she'd host it, but is she cooking too? It's kind of late to be thinking about this, but we've got a week so we might be able to scrape something together. Oh, and do you have a dress? You need a dress, and I can take you shopping…"

"Yes," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Remember when you convinced me to try on the dress and I actually liked it? That's what I'll be wearing on my wedding day. It's at Emma's, because Derek keeps looking for it."

"For the rehearsal dinner," Izzie groaned. "Please try to keep up. This is very important."

"Right," Meredith nodded. "Izzie, I can't talk right now. I'm working. With children. Who need me."

"You answered your phone."

"Because I have fifteen minutes to pick my kids up from music," Meredith said. "Which, thanks to you, is now down to ten."

"Fine," Izzie said. "Do you have a dress?"

"I'll just wear my black one," Meredith nodded. "I don't think I really have any other ones."

"Mer!" Izzie gasped. "You can't wear a dress you've already worn! That's just wrong in so many ways."

"Why not?" Meredith sighed, lifting a hand to her head.

"Because this is the rehearsal dinner for your wedding," Izzie insisted. "Your wedding, Meredith."

"I know it's my wedding," Meredith sighed. "Derek loves that dress, and it's comfortable."

"You can't wear it," Izzie insisted. "Didn't you tell me that Derek ripped part of it when you two couldn't keep your hands off each other at his mixer? Yes, that's the perfect dress to wear to your rehearsal dinner."

Meredith paused for a moment before she nodded. "I'll buy a new dress," she said. "Tomorrow."

"Good," Izzie nodded. "Now about the food…"

"Iz, I can't talk about this," Meredith insisted. "I have to pick my class up and then celebrate the end of the year with them. There's a carnival and candy and prizes, and I don't have time to worry about this right now. I have to comfort kids who don't want to leave."

"Fine," Izzie sighed dramatically. "Call me when you're home. This is urgent, Meredith."

"Bye," Meredith said, snapping her phone shut. She stared at the ceiling for a moment, wondering how she was going to make it through the week.

One week. That's all she had left of being Meredith Grey. In one week she would be Meredith Shepherd, and life would be so much better. Mostly because she was sick to death of Izzie and Derek's sisters calling her every five minutes, trying to convince her to have the big fancy wedding she was sure she didn't want.

"What?" she practically yelled as her phone rang again.

"Oh, Mer, I thought I was going to get your voicemail," Kathleen said. "Listen, I was helping Meg try on her flower girl dress, and she was asking me all these questions about the reception, which led me to wonder what your song is."

"Song?" Meredith asked with a dejected sigh, fighting the urge to hang up. Hanging up on her future sister in law would be bad.

"For your first dance."

"Derek doesn't dance," Meredith argued.

"So?"

"So we decided we're not going to dance," Meredith said.

"What?" Kathleen gasped.

"We don't need to dance," Meredith sighed. "We don't need to have all those stupid wedding traditions."

"Aren't you going to regret not having a dance?"

"No," Meredith said firmly. "What does it matter, Kath? That's what we want."

"I have to talk to Izzie about this," Kathleen said.

"Wait, Kath, no!" Meredith tried to stop her sister before she hung up, but the attempt was futile. She was definitely going to hear about this tonight.

"Everything okay?" a voice asked from the doorway.

Meredith sighed as she looked up and saw Andrew in the doorway. "Yeah," she sighed. "Just wedding stuff."

Andrew's eyes flashed with pain for a moment as he glanced down at Meredith's engagement ring. "Right," he said. "You're getting married soon."

"Next week," Meredith smiled softly.

Andrew looked at her carefully for a moment before he stepped forward slightly and looked at her closely. "You don't seem very excited," he observed.

"Call me crazy, but…aren't women supposed to be excited for their wedding?"

Meredith sighed as she tossed her cell phone onto her desk. "I am," she said with an unconvincing nod.

"It doesn't sound like you're trying to convince me," Andrew observed.

"I just…everyone is trying to tell me how I should get married," Meredith sighed. "They're driving me crazy trying to turn this into their perfect wedding when it's not. It's mine."

"But you're not excited," Andrew stated.

"It will be better when Derek's around again."

"Where is he?" Andrew frowned.

"He has his intern exam," Meredith sighed. "The day before the wedding, so…I'll be lucky if I even get to see him before the ceremony."

"That's not right," Andrew said, stepping even closer to her.

"It's my own fault," Meredith murmured. "I wanted to have the wedding at a time where he could get a significant amount of time away from the hospital, and I didn't really think about the whole exam thing. He's been pretty good about balancing studying with spending time with me but I just…" she trailed off when she felt Andrew's lips crash down on hers, causing her to jump back in surprise and instinctively wipe her hand across her lips. "What the hell was that?" she cried.

"I'm sorry," Andrew whispered. "But I can't not do this?"

"Not do what?" Meredith asked, moving behind her desk to place as much distance between her and Andrew as possible.

"Not kiss you," Andrew breathed. "Not fall asleep at night wishing that you were in my arms. Look at you and not want to make love to you."

"I…what?" Meredith asked, frowning as she stared at him. "Andrew…we broke up a year ago."

"And I've tried to step aside because I thought you really loved Derek," Andrew said. "But seeing you like this…I know you don't love him."

"Yes, yes I do!" Meredith said. "I don't know what you're thinking, but I love Derek, more than anything in the world."

"Then how come you're not excited for your wedding to him?"

"Because weddings are stupid," Meredith argued. "I don't care about weddings. I care about marriage. To Derek. The man I love, the man I'm building a home with."

"That could be us," Andrew breathed. "Remember how great we were together, Mer?"

"Don't call me that," she snapped. "And we weren't great together. I was completely in love with Derek the entire time we were together."

"You said you loved me," Andrew frowned.

"No I didn't," Meredith argued. "I couldn't have. I never loved you."

"You did," Andrew nodded. "I thought you were sleeping one night and I said it to you. You said it back."

Meredith rolled her eyes. "Well, I wasn't talking to you," she sighed.

"Funny, I thought I was the only other person in the room."

"I mean…I really never wanted you to know this, but you just kissed me so I don't really care about sparing your feelings anymore," she sighed deeply. "I was pretending you were Derek."

"You…what?"

"Derek," Meredith nodded. "When we made love, when I fell asleep in your arms…I always just squeezed my eyes closed and pretended you were Derek. That's the only way I could enjoy it."

"But he hurt you," Andrew breathed, reaching for her hand. "Mer, I would never do that to you."

"Let go!" Meredith cried, trying to tug her hand out of his grasp.

"I can't," Andrew shook his head. "I love you, Meredith. Please, just give us another chance."

As Meredith opened her mouth to yell at him again, a dark voice came from the doorway. "Let her go."

"Derek," Meredith breathed, moving towards him. "I had no idea about this, I promise. You have to believe that I never wanted to go back to him. Please, Derek, I love you, and I'm excited about our wedding."

Derek squeezed her hand tightly, making sure that he knew that he believed her. He didn't look at her though, his eyes focused on Andrew. "What the hell do you think you're doing?"

"I'm giving her the love she deserves," Andrew replied, stepping forward. "Something you've never been able to do."

"You son of a bitch," Derek stepped forward, his arm raised.

"Derek!" Meredith cried, pulling him back. "Don't, please don't."

"Mer, I can't…"

"You're in my classroom," Meredith snapped. "And frankly, I'd put up with my seven year olds beating each other up more than I'd put up with you two. You both know better."

Derek sighed, stepping back and running a hand through his hair. "You're right," he sighed. He turned to Andrew, his eyes darkening considerably. "You need to stay away from her."

"You can't tell me what to do," Andrew frowned.

"I'd listen to him if I were you," Meredith replied. "Andrew…"

Before any more of them could say a word, a group of kids ran into the classroom, giggling loudly and calling for Meredith. She sent one more warning glance towards Derek before she turned to smile at her students, giggling with them as they bounced eagerly through the classroom.

XXXXX

"I'm just saying," Derek sighed as he opened the door to their apartment later that night. "I don't like the guy."

"I know," Meredith said, dropping a box onto the table. "But do we really have to do this right now? I just had to say goodbye to the group of students who were apart of my life for the past year. I hate the end of the year."

Derek stared at her closely for a moment before he stated, "You're not excited for our wedding."

"What?" Meredith asked.

"You're not excited," Derek said.

"I am," she nodded. "To be your wife. I honestly just want to be your wife. Isn't that the point of a wedding? Not whether I have a dress for the rehearsal dinner or whether we're going to have a first dance. I mean, I tried to plan a wedding, one that both of us would like. But somehow your crazy sisters and my stupid college roommate thought it would be a good idea to take my wedding and make it their own."

"Mer…" Derek frowned. "You shouldn't let them bother you. They're just trying to help."

"I know," she sighed. "I just…I want to be your wife."

"I want that too," Derek nodded as he followed her to the couch, gently reaching out to rub her shoulders. "I'm sorry I snapped."

"It's okay," she sighed. "You're stressed about your exam. I get it."

"That doesn't mean it's okay for me to snap at you," Derek shook his head. "I love you. And that's why I lost control of my temper in there. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Meredith whispered, turning to face him. "How's the studying coming?"

"I think I'm going to take a break," Derek nodded. "How does a nice romantic, preview of the honeymoon sound? Wine, a nice dinner, some whipped cream for desert?"

"What's the whipped cream on top of?" Meredith giggled, leaning towards him.

"Your favorite treat," Derek breathed.

"Chocolate mousse?" Meredith whispered.

"Me," Derek corrected.

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed, her hands traveling towards his belt buckle. "You're sure you can afford to not study tonight?"

"I'll study," Derek nodded, leaning his head down to press his lips against her neck. "This is the clavicle…" He smiled as he moved his lips down. "The heart's under here," he murmured, kissing her upper left chest. "And these are the most perfect breasts in the world…" he lightly teased them for a moment before moving down. "Rib cage…"

"Derek," Meredith sighed, threading her fingers through his hair. "Please…"

"Hmmm," Derek sighed, moving back to look at her. "You are so beautiful."

"Derek," she breathed, tugging on his hand. "I need you."

"Let's take this to the bedroom," Derek said huskily. He reached out and pulled her off the couch, carrying her gently to their room and settling her on the bed. "God, Mer, I've missed you."

"I've been here," Meredith whispered.

"We've been busy," Derek sighed. "I don't want it to happen again."

"It won't," she whispered. "No more weddings to plan, no more intern exams…we're just going to be us."

"Promise me," Derek breathed, sudden desperation appearing in his eyes. "Promise me that we'll never resent each other or get too busy to keep our relationship alive."

"I promise," Meredith whispered, cupping his face in her hands. "Derek…we'll never lose this, it's too special."

Derek nodded, moving down to kiss her deeply. "I need you, Mer," he whispered.

"Take me," Meredith nodded, wrapping her arms and legs around him. "Please, Der."

Derek pressed his lips firmly against hers, needing to feel her beneath him, needing to escape from the real world by making love to his fiancé.


	55. Chapter 55

He had to get to Meredith.

That was all Derek could think as he raced out of the exam room, practically bouncing in excitement. The exam was over, the exam from hell was completely over and behind him, and all he wanted was to hug Meredith, telling her how easily the exam had gone for him.

"Dr. Shepherd," a sharp voice said from behind him and he closed his eyes briefly before he turned to smile slightly at the woman in front of him.

"Dr. Grey," he said, a tight smile playing over his lips.

"I was wondering if you would consider taking one last shift before your time off," Ellis said. "Dr. McCarthy has a standstill tomorrow afternoon."

"I'm sorry, Dr. Grey," Derek said. "But I can't take that shift, as interesting as that surgery would be."

Ellis raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What could possibly be more interesting than a standstill?" she asked.

"My wedding," Derek replied evenly.

Ellis blinked in surprise, not reacting to his news for a moment before she asked, "Your wedding?"

"Yes," Derek nodded. "And if you don't have any further questions, I'm already late for my rehearsal dinner."

"Of course," Ellis nodded. "I…good luck in your wedding."

Derek nodded his thanks, but before he could say anything else, a familiar voice called his name and he turned to smile, opening his arms widely for his fiancé. "Mer," he laughed, hugging her tightly. "I didn't expect to see you here."

"I wanted to surprise you," she giggled, running a hand over his hair. "How was the test?"

"It went fine," Derek smiled. "And I'm glad it's over, just because that means you're going to be my wife." He stepped back to look at her briefly, taking in the deep purple cocktail dress she was wearing. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," she smiled. "And we'll be married. In less than twenty four hours," she breathed. "You have to come back to Mom's. Your sisters are….oh."

Derek tightened his arm around her as she set eyes on her mother. "I was just explaining why I couldn't take an extra shift tomorrow," he said softly.

"Right," Meredith said, smiling slightly before she turned to look at him. "I um…I kind of snuck out. So we should hurry because I'm already in trouble."

Derek nodded. "Right," he said. "Um…I just have to grab some stuff from my locker."

"I'll go with you," Meredith said quickly.

"Congratulations on your wedding," Ellis said without any emotion.

"Thanks, Dr. Grey," Derek murmured, tugging on Meredith's hand to pull her towards the locker room.

"Um…" she said, glancing at him quickly, biting her lower lip before she turned back to her mother. "Dr. Grey," she said.

Ellis turned, raising her eyebrows as she looked at Meredith. "Yes?"

"I um…I know you probably won't want to come," Meredith whispered. "But if you want…you can come to our wedding tomorrow."

Ellis stared at her daughter for a moment before she nodded. "I would like that," she said.

"Oh," Meredith blinked in surprise. "I'll have some directions forwarded to you."

"Thank you, Meredith," Ellis said softly.

"You're welcome, Dr. Grey," Meredith nodded.

"Good luck," Ellis repeated as she turned to walk towards her office. Meredith stared after her for a moment with wide eyes before she turned back to Derek and smiled softly. "Let's go," she said.

"Mer," Derek breathed, following her down the hall. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she smiled, turning to face him. "Really, Derek. If she wants to come, she can come. If not, it doesn't matter. Tomorrow we're getting married. That's all that matters, and I'm not going to let anything ruin that."

Derek smiled softly, pulling her in to kiss her gently. "I love you," he murmured. "So much."

"I love you too," Meredith smiled. Before either one of them could say anything, her cell phone rang loudly from her bag and she frowned. "Crap," she sighed, looking down at it. "It's Izzie. She's going to kill me."

"I'll change fast," Derek laughed as Meredith ignored the call. She shoved him into the locker room, giggling as his phone vibrated in his pocket. "It's Izzie," he said, offering the phone out to her.

"Izzie has your phone number?" Meredith frowned, snapping the phone out of his hands.

"I wanted her to have it," he shrugged. "Emergencies or whatever."

Meredith stared at him for a moment before she held the phone up to her ear. "What?"

"I knew it!" Izzie shouted. "Meredith Grey, you can't just sneak out of your own rehearsal dinner!"

"Yes I can," Meredith nodded. "Because I was going to see my fiancé. And since you're all crazy and making him sleep at the stupid trailer tonight, I have the right to sneak out to see him now."

"But it's your rehearsal dinner."

"Okay, calling it that? That's just stupid," Meredith argued. "Because there was no rehearsal. So it's just dinner. At Emma's. With our family. Which we both love doing, but we've done it a thousand times before and we'll do it a million more. It's really not that big a deal."

"Can you just come back?" Izzie asked. "We've got to discuss the flower arrangements and make sure there's…."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she hung up the phone, handing it back to Derek. "We have to go," she sighed. "We have to discuss flower arrangements and be at the stupid rehearsal-less rehearsal dinner."

Derek looked at her closely for a moment. "You really don't want to have this wedding," he said.

"I do," Meredith smiled. "I want to have this wedding, because that's the only way we'll end up married. So…even though your sisters are driving me crazy and I would really just prefer a backyard wedding with the family and grilling at the reception…it's what we're getting."

"We don't have to do this," Derek said softly. "Let's just go."

"Go?" Meredith frowned.

"To the Bahamas."

"The honeymoon is after the wedding," Meredith rolled her eyes, reaching for his hand. "So we have to go to your mom's so we can have the stupid rehearsal dinner and then have the stupid wedding and then go on the honeymoon."

"No, let's go tonight," Derek insisted, reaching for her hands and pulling her closer. "We can still get married tomorrow. We can do it on the beach, drink cocktails during the wedding. Come on, Mer, doesn't that sound perfect?"

"It does," she sighed, unable to deny the deep desire to do that. "But…what about the family?"

"We'll go tell them now," Derek said. "They can come if they want."

"It's not that easy," Meredith whispered. "We've spent money on this wedding, they have jobs they can't just leave, Lexie's all excited to be maid of honor, and Meg's apparently refusing to take off her flower girl dress. And we can't disappoint your mom."

"Please, Mer," Derek whispered, a sudden urgency in his voice. "I don't want this wedding, not at all. I know you tried to make it special for us, and I love you for that, I do. But it's not our wedding. It's Izzie's and Kath's and Liz's, even a little of Mom's. So let's just go and have the perfect Derek and Meredith wedding. On the beach. In the Bahamas. Sex on the beach."

"I'm not drinking sex on the beach during my wedding."

"Who said anything about drinks?" Derek frowned.

"Idiot," Meredith rolled her eyes before she reached up to run a hand through his hair. "We can really do this?"

"We can," Derek nodded, leaning into her touch. "Please."

"Okay," Meredith whispered.

"Really?"

"Really," Meredith nodded. "But…I want my dress. And your mom's veil. I have to get married in that."

"You do," Derek nodded. "We need the rings and the marriage certificate too."

"All of which are at…Mom's," Meredith sighed. "If we go back there we're never coming out."

Derek thought for a moment before he nodded. "I think I have a plan," he said.

XXXXX

"Derek, are you sure this is a good idea?" Meredith bit her lower lip as she looked up at the trellis leading up to his window.

"Relax, I used to sneak out all the time," Derek nodded. "No one ever knew."

"Yeah right," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Your dad told me he used to watch you try to sneak out and laugh."

"What?" Derek frowned.

"You weren't exactly stealth."

Derek shook his head. "Whatever," he said. "I can do this."

"Just be careful," she said, looking up at the house. "I don't want to be a widow before I'm a bride."

"It'll be fine," Derek nodded, pulling himself up onto the trellis. As Meredith watched worriedly, the lights on the porch turned on and Emma's voice rang clearly through the night.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd, what in the world do you think you're doing?"

"Crap," Meredith breathed, her eyes widening as she saw Derek jump back to the ground, stumbling slightly at the impact.

"Oh, Mom," Derek smiled. "I was just going up to my room. To change. Because these clearly aren't appropriate party clothes, so I didn't want to ruin your party by walking through with inappropriate clothes."

Emma eyed him suspiciously. "When you were twelve, you and Mark decided to make mud pies at your grandfather's very formal ninetieth birthday party," she said. "You weren't so concerned about appearances then."

"I've grown a lot in the past fifteen years."

"At Nancy's wedding you changed out of your tuxedo for the reception."

"Well…it was uncomfortable."

"What in the world is going on?" Emma asked, turning to Meredith.

"Mom," she breathed. "We uh…I need my dress. And the veil and the rings."

"It's all upstairs," Emma nodded. "Ready for tomorrow."

"Right," Derek nodded. "But there's been a minor location change to the wedding."

"You're not still worried about rain, are you?" Emma frowned. "There's nothing forecast, so I don't see any problems holding the wedding outside."

"Well…we were think something a little more…tropical," Derek said.

"This is Seattle, Derek Christopher."

"Right," Derek nodded. "But…we're leaving for our honeymoon. Tonight. And we're getting married tomorrow at sunset. On the beach."

Emma stared at the two of them for a moment before her eyes began to flash with anger. "Were you even going to tell me that you were planning on eloping?" she asked.

"Yes," Derek said quickly. "Well…maybe after we got back."

"I cannot believe you," Emma said. "We have a wonderful wedding planned…"

"We don't want that wedding," Meredith interrupted.

"Excuse me?" Emma asked.

"Oh," Meredith swallowed hard, not used to having parental anger directed towards her. "The sisters and Izzie…they promised that they would let me have the wedding I wanted. But they didn't. They kept telling me to choose different stuff, add in things I didn't want, invite people I don't even know. So this wedding isn't mine. It's not ours, and we just want to be married."

Emma stared at the couple for a moment before she sighed. "You're right," she said softly.

"You should come," Derek said quietly.

"Derek, I can't just get up and go on vacation," Emma sighed.

"Why not?" Derek asked. "The girls are on their own, you don't work. Just take some time off from volunteering, a couple of days in the Bahamas won't hurt."

"You deserve it," Meredith whispered.

"We want you there," Derek smiled, reaching for Meredith's hand.

"Your sisters aren't going to be happy."

"Well, they can still have their party tomorrow," Derek shrugged.

"A wedding without the bride and groom," Meredith giggled.

"Exactly," Derek laughed.

"Alright," Emma sighed. "I'll need a few minutes."

"Of course," Derek said. "We're going to wait out here."

"Don't be ridiculous," Emma rolled her eyes. "You're going to come in here and tell your sisters yourself."

Derek sighed. "Fine," he said. "We'll be in in a minute."

"Okay," Emma sighed, squeezing Derek's arm before stepping back into the house.

With a broad smile, Derek turned to Meredith and pulled her into his arms. "We're getting married tomorrow," he whispered.

"We are," Meredith giggled looping her arms around his neck. "On the beach."

"Perfect wedding," he sighed.

"Thank you," Meredith whispered. "For understanding why I can't get married the way they want me to."

"I don't want to either, Mer," he laughed. "I want to be able to kiss you passionately as soon as we're declared husband and wife. I want to take you back to our private suite and make love to you with the balcony doors open so we can hear the ocean. I want to drag you all through the island and brag about you being my wife."

"Oh," Meredith smiled, feeling her face flush. "I want all of that too."

"Good," Derek nodded, leaning forward to rest his forehead against hers. "Are you ready to go face the army of bridezillas?"

"If you are," she sighed, pressing her lips against his softly. "Derek?"

"Hmm?"

"We can sleep together tonight, right?"

"Oh definitely," Derek laughed, pulling her into the house. "Never sleeping apart again. It's part of my vows."


	56. Chapter 56

Someone was watching her.

That was the first thought Meredith had as she slipped into consciousness the next morning. The second was the fact that she was getting married. Today. She was going to be Derek's wife.

"Hmm," she sighed as she turned to look into the eyes of her fiancé. The man who would be her husband in less than twelve hours. "Good morning," she whispered, smiling widely.

"Very good morning," Derek smiled, reaching out to stroke her hair as he leaned down to kiss her softly.

"How long have you bee awake?"

"Awhile," he smiled, reaching down to trace the skin of her stomach. "You're cute when you sleep."

"I'm not cute," Meredith giggled. "I'm a bride. Brides are supposed to be beautiful and pure."

"You're beautiful too. Pure…I'm not so sure about," Derek laughed. "But you're still cute. And you're mine."

"Yours," Meredith smiled. "Do you think your sisters have made it here yet? Or are they still flying?"

"I don't know," he laughed softly. "I thought they were going to kill us when we told them."

"Matt wasn't too happy about buying the last minute tickets," Meredith giggled. "Neither was Liz."

"I'm glad they're going to be here," Derek said softly. "As much as I love this plan for getting married…it wouldn't have been the same without them. So I'm glad they finally gave in."

"Your mom's so excited," Meredith sighed, snuggling closer to him.

"Hmmm," Derek nodded. "What do you want to do today?"

"Besides getting married?" she giggled.

"Well, that's tonight," Derek said, smiling down at her as he ran his hands through her hair.

"Well…" Meredith sighed, shoving him onto his back and rolling on top of him. "We could go have breakfast with your mom and Mark and Addie and wait for your sisters to come."

"Or…" Derek murmured, running his hands over her sides.

"Or we could go to the beach and lie in the sun," Meredith murmured, taking his earlobe into her mouth. "Be nice and tan for our wedding."

"Hmm," Derek moaned. "Can't be sunburned for the pictures."

"Good point," Meredith giggled.

"So we could just…stay here all day."

"What are we going to do here?" Meredith pouted.

"I can think of a few things…" Derek smiled, rocking his hips against hers.

Meredith moaned loudly at the feeling of his body beneath his. "Derek," she gasped as he reached down to stroke her gently. "Oh God…"

Before they could continue, there was a loud pounding on the door, and Mark's voice carried through the room. "If you two are fucking each other, I'd suggest stopping. Nance just called, their plane landed and they're on their way here."

"Tell them we'll see them at the wedding," Derek groaned, bringing Meredith back down to him.

"Right," Mark rolled his eyes. "She says that since you dragged them all the way out here, you've got to spend the day with them. They'll let you start the honeymoon tomorrow."

Meredith sighed as she rolled off of Derek, moving towards her suitcase. "He has a point," she said.

"I guess," Derek frowned. "But what am I supposed to do with this?"

Meredith followed his gaze down to his hardness, giggling softly as she pulled a bikini on. "I don't know," she shrugged.

"Seriously?" Derek frowned.

"What?" Meredith asked innocently, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

"You're not going to help me out?"

"You have a hand for a reason," she shrugged. "I'll be waiting outside."

Derek groaned as he watched her walk out the door, his hand moving over his own length as he tossed his head back against the pillows, picturing Meredith's body on top of his, his pace picking up as he pumped his hand over himself.

Meredith giggled as he stepped out of their cabana a few minutes later, pushing herself out of the hammock to wrap her arms around his waist. "Everything taken care of?" she asked.

"It's just mean to deny a man sex on his wedding day," Derek frowned.

"Get used to it," she smiled. "According to Nancy and Kathleen, sex stops once you're married."

"Suddenly I'm changing my mind about this whole wedding thing," Derek said as Meredith dragged him down the grass towards the beach. "Where are we going?"

"Mark and Addison rented a cabana," she said, smiling as they approached a large tent set up on the beach. "Apparently the girls are already there."

"Derbear!" Caitlin giggled as she ran out of the cabana. "You're the best brother ever!"

"You weren't saying that last night," Derek pointed out.

"Well…no one's exactly excited about having twelve hours to pack for vacation," Caitlin giggled. "But now that we're here…this is amazing?"

"So I shouldn't change my name and move across the country?" Derek asked.

"We love you baby brother," Kathleen smiled as she came up to them with Meg in her arms. "We were just shocked."

Derek smiled as he pulled Meg into his arms. "At least we had one person on our side, right sweetheart?" he asked as he tickled her slightly.

Meg giggled as she squirmed in Derek's arms. "I wanna go swim, Uncle Derek!" she cried.

"You do," he sighed. "Well, I suppose I can go take a dip in the pool."

"Yay!" Meg cried, wrapping her arms around Derek's neck.

"You want to come, Mer?" Derek asked, turning to smile at his fiancé.

"No, I'll stay here," she smiled, reaching for the offered margarita from Addison.

"Don't get too drunk," Derek warned, pressing a kiss to her cheek. "I don't want a drunk bride."

"Your bride will be completely sober," she smiled, running a hand through his hair before tickling Meg gently. "Have fun in the pool."

She watched with a soft smile as Derek took off towards the pool with Meg in his arms, tossing her into the water before jumping in himself and pulling her into his arms. He was so good with kids, and suddenly she couldn't wait to have children with him. He was going to be an amazing father, and she knew that it wasn't going to happen for awhile. But as Derek held Meg slightly on top of the water, helping her to float on her back, she could see that her children would be the luckiest kids in the world to have him as a father.

"I recognize that look," Liz smiled as she stepped beside Meredith, her eyes focused on Derek and Meg as well.

"What look?" Meredith asked.

"The wanting kids look," Liz smiled. "Kath and Nance both had it as soon as they got married. Am I going to have another niece or nephew in the next nine months?"

"We're waiting," Meredith shook her head. "Derek…well, he's obsessed with babies, but we can't have kids yet. When we get back our lease is up and we have to live in the trailer while the house is finished, and they're telling us October, which means we'll be lucky if we move in before the new year, and we can't have a baby while we're living in a trailer. So we're waiting."

"I know you're waiting," Liz smiled. "But Derek will be an amazing father. And you will be an incredible mother."

Meredith smiled slightly. "I know," she whispered. "You know that's one of the reasons I became a teacher?"

"Why?" Liz asked, looking carefully at her sister in law as the gentle wind whipped the hair in front of her face.

"Because I never thought that I would ever find a man I could trust enough to spend a lifetime with," Meredith breathed. "I never thought I'd have my own kids, so I thought that if I was a teacher, I wouldn't miss out on raising my own kids."

"That's…really sweet," Liz breathed. "And really sad."

"Well, sad pretty much sums up my life before Derek," Meredith sighed, then frowned. "I've been spending too much time with him. That was entirely corny."

"Derek's lucky," Liz smiled softly. "I know we've all said it before. But I really don't even know what he would do without you."

"Me either," Meredith smiled, setting her empty glass on the table beside her and reaching for the sarong wrapped around her waist. "I'm going to go swimming. Want to come?"

"No, go ahead," Liz smiled. "Enjoy Derek."

Meredith giggled as she slid into the pool behind Derek, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing a kiss to his cheek before moving to toss Meg into the air, feeling strangely complete. In a few years, this would be theirs. Their pool, their home, their little girl they were playing with. And it would all be perfect.

XXXXX

"Wow," Derek breathed hours later as Meredith stepped out of their cabana in a simple white dress, falling straight down her body, held up with a pair of thin spaghetti straps and falling to just below her knees. She wore a pair of simple white flip flops and his mother's veil hung simply from her hair as it curled around her face. "You look beautiful."

"Thanks," Meredith said, her face flushing slightly as she looked at him. He was dressed in a simple pair of khakis and a light blue button down, his hair already fluttering in the wind. "You look good too."

"Of course," Derek laughed, reaching for her hand. "Your husband is dreamy."

"You're not my husband yet," she teased.

"I will be in about a half an hour," Derek smiled. "Ready to get married?"

"Let's get married," she said, leaning in to kiss him gently before pulling away to pull him towards the beach where their family was waiting.

"There they are," Emma sighed as she saw them walking towards the large group of Shepherds gathered around the minister they had managed to find to perform the ceremony.

Lexie pushed George forward, and he smiled as he held up his camera, having been designated the photographer for the entire wedding.

"Meredith and Derek," the minister smiled. "You're about to take the biggest step a couple can take, a sacred ceremony that creates a special union between a man and a woman under God. Are you both willing to take this step today, in this moment?"

"Yes," Meredith and Derek said at the same time, smiling softly at each other.

"At this time, you may recite the vows you have written for each other."

Derek took a deep breath as he smiled at his bride, squeezing her hands tightly in his. She was completely beautiful as she stood before him, the ocean breezes causing her hair to curl slightly around her face, her dress brushing against his legs. "Meredith," he let her name out in one simple breath. "I love you so incredibly much. I know I tell you that every day, and I wish that there were words to express my complete love for you, but there aren't. You're so passionate, so full of life, and I depend on you to keep me sane. You complete me, Meredith Grey, and I know that I will never stop loving you. I'll never run, and I will always be there for you, anytime you need me. This is forever, Mer, I'll love you until the end of forever and then for another day after that."

Meredith smiled softly as she squeezed his hands tightly. "I….Derek," she said softly. "I still sometimes can't believe that I'm so lucky that you love me. I never thought that I would ever fall in love, and I wasn't sure I even believed in love. But because of you, I know that love not only exists, but it's the greatest feeling in the world. You were the first person to ever love me, and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I'm safe with you, and I know that you'll never hurt me. So today I want to make the same promise to you. I love you, Derek. And I always will. Even when I hate you. And I'll never run. You're everything I have, Derek, and I can't wait to complete my life with you. I love you, Derek Christopher Shepherd, and even if that's the only thing in this world that I'm sure of, that's enough."

Derek smiled softly as he squeezed her hands tightly. "I love you too," he murmured.

"And now it's time for the exchanging of the rings," the minister smiled. "Derek, place this ring on Meredith's finger and promise her, 'with this ring, I thee wed."

Derek smiled as he slid the ring onto Meredith's finger, pressing a gentle kiss to her hand as he said softly, "With this ring, I thee wed."

"Meredith, place this ring on Derek's finger and promise 'with this ring, I thee wed."

"With this ring," Meredith whispered as she slid the ring onto Derek's strong hand. "I thee wed."

"I now declare you husband and wife," the minister announced. "You may now kiss the bride."

Meredith giggled as Derek pulled her firmly into his arms, kissing her passionately. She wrapped her arms around his neck as he dipped her backwards, neither one of them noticing the congratulations uttered by heir family or the snapping of George's camera. All they cared about was the fact that they were married.

"We're married," Meredith whispered as he pulled her to stand again. "Husband."

"Wife," Derek smiled widely. "Mrs. Shepherd."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, blushing slightly.

"I love your new name," Derek murmured, lacing their fingers together.

"Me too," she whispered, reaching up to kiss him again. "I love you so much."

"I love you too."

"Okay, are we ever going to get to congratulate you two?" Kathleen asked, drawing them both back into reality as they turned to face their family.

"I'm so happy for you both," Emma smiled as she gathered them both into her arms. "I couldn't imagine any couple better suited for each other."

"Thanks Mom," Meredith murmured.

"Your father is so very proud of you," Emma murmured, smiled down at Meredith's engagement ring. "He would have loved to be here today."

"Thanks Mom," Derek whispered, letting go of Meredith to pull his mother tightly into his arms. "I love you."

"I love you too," Emma murmured. "Make her happy sweetheart."

"I will," Derek smiled as he watched Meredith giggle with his sisters, her new sisters in law. She was completely glowing as she showed off her ring and played with her veil as it blew into her face. "She's incredible."

"Well, she is a Shepherd," Emma said as she looped her arm through her sons.

"Yeah," Derek said, inhaling deeply. "She is."

"Derek," Meredith giggled, reaching for him. "We need pictures. Before the sun actually sets."

Derek smiled as he took her hand and pulled her close. "Of course," he said. "How am I do deny my wife anything she wants?"

"Wife," Meredith whispered as she pressed her lips against his. "Best wedding ever."


	57. Chapter 57

"Husband," Meredith whispered against Derek's lips as she leaned over him the next morning.

"Wife," he smiled, pulling her closer.

"It's time to wake up."

"Hmmm…don't want to."

"We have to," Meredith whispered.

"Why?"

"Because your wife is starving," Meredith murmured. "And she may pass out from hunger."

"Well, I can't have that," Derek sighed. "Room service? French toast and pancakes with mimosas?"

"Hmmm…your mom wants us to meet her at the buffet," Meredith sighed. "The whole family."

"But…it's our honeymoon," Derek frowned.

"So that means we can't eat breakfast with your family?" Meredith asked with raised her eyebrows.

"Our family," Derek corrected. "And I'm pretty sure that being on a honeymoon is pretty much a guarantee for constant sex."

"Your family flew all the way out here to be with us at our wedding," she insisted. "They're leaving tomorrow, we should spend time with them. At least eat breakfast. Maybe they'll entertain themselves."

"I wish I was a single child," Derek sighed.

"Trust me, you don't," Meredith shook her head. "It's boring. That's why we're having at least two."

"I know," he said. "Fine, we can spend time with the family. But I want sex for the next two weeks."

"Thank you," Meredith smiled, leaning across the bed to kiss him. "And to show my eternal gratitude, I will be willing to do anything you want tonight. And well…for the next two weeks."

"Good," Derek nodded.

"Come on," Meredith smiled as she pulled him to his feet. "Yesterday was amazing," she whispered against his lips.

"It was," Derek agreed. "We're married."

"Completely and totally married forever," Meredith whispered. "And the day after forever."

"Wife."

"Husband."

"We have to go," Derek whispered against her lips. "Otherwise we'll never leave this room."

"You should get dressed."

"Then you have to let go of me."

"Fine," Meredith sighed dramatically. She let go of him and sat down on the bed, watching him carefully as he pulled a pair of swim trunks and a button down t-shirt on. "You are very hot, husband," she smiled as she reached for his hand. "I love you so much."

"Thank you, Mrs. Shepherd," Derek said. "You're looking pretty good yourself."

"Let's go have breakfast with our family," Meredith whispered. "So we can really start our honeymoon."

"Yes, let's," Derek smiled, kissing her gently before he pulled her out the door, towards the outside breakfast buffet outside the lobby of the resort. "Good morning everyone."

"Well, it's about time you finally woke up," Mark smirked.

"Good morning," Emma smiled as Derek and Meredith slid into the two empty chairs at the long table.

"How was…what is this?" Meredith frowned at the large pile of presents in the middle of the table.

"Presents," Izzie smiled. "The two of you seemed pretty eager to be alone last night, so we figured you could have them this morning."

"I would have stayed if I knew I was going to get presents," Meredith exclaimed as she reached eagerly for the first one.

"That's from me and Izzie," Lexie nodded.

"Idiot's guide to cooking?" Meredith frowned.

"We figured you would need that," Izzie giggled.

"Thanks," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Don't pout," Derek laughed as he reached for another present. "George."

"It's not much," George shifted uncomfortably. "I just thought…"

Derek smiled as he tore the paper off the present and looked down at the empty photo album. "I um…"

"It's for your wedding photos," George nodded. "Lexie made me take the pictures because I had the nicest camera, and I just…I'll get them all developed, whatever ones you want, however many you want."

"Thanks, George," Derek smiled.

They made their way through the presents from his sisters before Derek reached for the last one, a small box from Emma. Meredith smiled and rested her chin on his shoulder as he opened the box slowly. "Mom," he whispered.

"I know your walls will eventually be filled with pictures of your own family," Emma said softly. "But I thought you may want to put that in a special place."

Derek looked down at the picture of his father, clearly younger than he would ever remember him, cradling a tiny baby with a wide smile spread across his face. "We will," he whispered, blinking back tears.

"He was so happy to have his boy," Emma whispered. "I don't think I ever saw him happier than the moment he first held you in his arms."

"He looks like you, Der," Meredith whispered.

"He was the same age you are now when you were born," Emma smiled as she ran a hand over her son's hair. "I can't believe that was nearly twenty eight years ago."

Derek smiled as he leaned in to kiss his mother's cheek. "Thanks, Mom," he said. "We'll find a special place for it. And put our own kids' pictures beside it."

Mark cleared his throat and held his hand out to Derek. "I got you another present," he announced.

Derek rolled his eyes as he took the box from Mark's hand. "Condoms?" he asked. "Seriously?"

"Hey, unless you want to end up a dad in nine months, you'll need all of those," Mark shrugged. "But if you don't need them…"

"We've got it taken care of," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"But we'll keep them," Derek nodded. "Just in case."

"Okay, let's end this conversation before I throw up," Liz muttered.

"Sorry," Meredith giggled. "What is everyone doing today?"

"Meg wants to swim with dolphins," Kathleen sighed. "So we're going to do that."

"Me and Liz are going parasailing," Liz announced.

"We have to go home today," Nancy said. "Matt's mom called, Joey's got a cold, so we want to get home to him."

"We're staying," Addison smiled, leaning into Mark. "We have two weeks off, so we might as well stay. But we won't bother the happy couple."

Meredith smiled as she leaned into Derek. "We can have dinner," she said.

"Yeah, well, if you're going to leave your cabana maybe we can go snorkeling or something," Addison nodded.

Mark frowned as he looked across the table at Derek. "You need to take control of this," he said. "Otherwise we'll be sightseeing instead of having sex."

"Me?" Derek asked.

"She's your wife," Mark nodded. "You can tell her what to do now."

"Yeah right," Derek rolled his eyes. "I'm pretty sure she went through the entire house and changed everything to what she wants. I have no control."

"Welcome to married life," Chris muttered.

"Hmm," Derek nodded, reaching for Meredith's hand. "I love it."

"Love what?" Meredith asked, turning away from her conversation with Addison to smile widely at him.

"Being your husband."

"Oh," Meredith blushed, leaning in to kiss him. "I love being your wife."

"Good," Derek smiled. "How about we go be alone to be husband and wife?"

"Okay," Meredith murmured against his lips. She stood and turned to Emma, hugging her tightly. "Thank you so much, Mom," she whispered. "I'm so glad you were here."

"Of course, Meredith," Emma smiled. "I'm so happy for you."

"Thanks," Meredith smiled. "I'm glad…." Her voice trailed off as her eyes widened and she turned to Derek, pulling him away from Nancy. "Derek," she gasped. "My mother."

"What about her?" Derek frowned.

"We invited her to the wedding," Meredith said. "The Seattle wedding. Which never happened."

"Oh," Derek said, his eyes widening. "I…crap."

"Are you talking about Dr. Grey?" Addison asked.

"Yes," Meredith groaned, burying her face in Derek's shoulder. "She's going to hate me."

"No she won't," Derek assured her, reaching out to rub her back.

"She was signed up to scrub in on a surgery," Addison said. "When Mark and I were leaving the test, she was standing in front of the OR board, and she told Dr. Emerson that he could have the day off and she would take over his afternoon surgery."

"Oh," Meredith frowned. Obviously Ellis had been looking for an excuse to not attend the wedding. "Oh."

"Mer," Derek whispered, pulling her closer. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," she smiled. "We're married. I can't be not okay when I'm married to you."

"Good," Derek said.

Meredith stepped out of his arms to hug Emma again, tighter this time. "Thank you, Mom," she whispered.

"Of course, darling," Emma replied. "I love you."

Tears pricked Meredith's eyes. She had one mother who loved her. "I love you too," she whispered.

After a moment she pulled away and turned to Lexie and Izzie. "I'll see you guys when we get back," she smiled. "We're going to need your help moving out of the apartment."

"Of course," Izzie nodded. "Mer…I'm sorry about the whole wedding thing. I know that I kind of took over, but now that I've seen you here with Derek…this was the perfect wedding for you, so I'm sorry I didn't listen to you."

"It's okay," Meredith smiled. "It was the perfect wedding. And we're married. That's all I really care about."

"Good," Izzie nodded.

"Bye Lex," Meredith sighed, pulling her sister into a hug.

"Actually, um…" Lexie bit her lower lip, turning to look at George. "I think I'm going to stay too. George is staying, so…we're going to stay. Together."

Meredith looked between Lexie and George for a moment before a slow smile spread over her lips. "Are you two…"

"Please don't make a big deal about this," Lexie said. "I didn't make a big deal about you and Derek, so please don't…"

"I won't," Meredith smiled. "But congratulations."

"You're the one that deserves congratulations," George smiled. "You're pretty lucky."

"Thanks, George," Meredith smiled, squeezing his arm gently. "We'll see you around."

"Ready to go?" Derek asked, appearing at Meredith's side and pressing a gentle hand to her back.

"Definitely," Meredith smiled, leaning into him. "Bye everyone. We're so glad that you could all make it."

"Have fun Shep," Mark called. "Remember what I told you last night!"

Meredith giggled as she leaned into her husband. "What did he tell you last night?" she asked.

"He offered me some interesting positions for beach sex," Derek said casually.

"Oh really?" Meredith asked, tugging on his hand and pulling him off the walkway to the beach. "What did he say?"

"Well, point number one was to bring a blanket," Derek laughed.

"Obviously," Meredith giggled.

"And apparently backwards cowgirl is very hot on the beach," Derek nodded.

"I think you made that up," Meredith said. "It's one of your favorites."

Derek frowned. "How can I make that up?" he asked. "I've never done it on the beach."

"Well, we'll have to fix that," Meredith nodded, wrapping her arms around his waist as she kissed him deeply. She looked around for a moment before she sighed. "There's too many people around."

"We do have a private beach," Derek murmured against her lips.

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled, her hand discreetly moving into his swim trunks. "Of course."

"Let's go," Derek said, pulling away from her and grabbing her hand, dragging her back to the walkway towards their private cabana.

Meredith giggled as she followed him down the path. "Dr. Shepherd, you seem very eager," she commented.

"I am, Mrs. Shepherd," Derek nodded. "You see, I just married the most beautiful woman in the world. And now there's nothing that I want more than to take her into my arms and make passionate love to here."

"Oh," Meredith breathed, feeling her skin flush at his words. "Well, that does pose a problem."

"Does it?" Derek asked.

"See, your wife," she whispered, pressing her body against his. "She wants to have hot… dirty…naughty sex with her husband."

"Oh," Derek choked out as he felt her rub herself against his throbbing erection.

"So…are you going to deny her wife what she wants?" Meredith breathed.

"Definitely not," Derek replied, crashing his lips down on her and picking her up by her thighs to wrap her legs around his waist as he pushed her against the nearest tree.


	58. Chapter 58

Meredith sighed as she walked Derek walk out of the bathroom two weeks later, smiling as he reached for the bottle of champagne that sat chilling beside the balcony doors. He was completely naked, and she couldn't help but smile at the sight of his lean, tanned body as he popped the top on the champagne and offered her a wide, happy smile as he poured two glasses.

"What are you looking at?" he asked as he settled onto the bed, handing her a glass of champagne.

"You," she smiled as she clinked her glass against his and leaned her head against his chest.

"Like what you see?" Derek smirked.

"Definitely," Meredith smiled, setting her glass on the night table and snuggling back into him. "We go home tomorrow."

"We do," Derek sighed, wrapping an arm around her. "It's been a wonderful honeymoon."

"Best one I've ever been on," Meredith murmured.

"Well that's good," Derek laughed. "Because you're never going on another one. Unless we go again."

Meredith smiled as she reached for his hand, running her hand over his wedding ring. "Will you always wear this?" she whispered.

"Except for when I'm in surgery," Derek nodded. "But I'll keep it in my pocket. I don't like taking it off."

"Good," Meredith nodded. "It looks good."

"I love it," Derek laughed.

"I love mine too," she whispered.

"I'm glad," Derek whispered, pressing a kiss to her left hand, smiling at the cool metal of her rings.

"You know Liz thinks I'm going to be pregnant before Christmas," Meredith whispered, looking closely at him.

"Well…Shepherds like babies," Derek laughed. "But you won't be. We need a house before we have a baby."

"This is why I love you," Meredith said. She was quiet for a moment before she asked, "How many do you want?"

"A few," Derek said. "Two or three. I definitely want a boy, so we're not stopping until we get one."

"That's funny," Meredith said. "Because I'm capping it at four. After that you're going to have to get creative."

"You're giving me permission to sleep with other women?" Derek raised a eyebrow. "I don't like that."

"No," she frowned. "That's where the creative part comes in. And well…you're an idiot."

"I see," Derek laughed, pressing a kiss to her lips. "No one else. Ever. I promise you, Mer."

"No one else," Meredith shook her head.

After a moment, Derek whispered, "You said four." His voice was soft as he stroked his fingers through her hair.

"Hmmm?" she asked.

"You said you want four kids," Derek murmured into her hair, his heart pounding in anticipation.

"Yeah, well…I was so lonely growing up," Meredith shrugged. "And I don't want our kids to be lonely. Your family likes kids so I figured you'd want a big family too, but if that's too many…"

"It's not," Derek said quickly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "It's perfect."

"What do you think they'll look like?" Meredith whispered.

"Hmmm," Derek sighed. "We'll have little girls with your smile. And your nose. My hair."

"And your eyes."

"Your giggle."

"Our son is going to be a clone of you, isn't he?" Meredith sighed.

"Yes," Derek laughed. "You'll love it."

"Maybe we should wait to have kids until we can choose to have girls and only girls."

"I don't like you."

"You love me," she giggled. "I just gave you sex for two weeks straight. And agreed to be with you forever."

"Well…if you don't give me a son I may overlook that."

"You're mean," Meredith sighed. "And to think that I was going to go skinny dipping with you in the ocean tonight."

Derek laughed as he leaned in to kiss her. "You know I'm kidding," he said. "I'll love you forever."

"Me too," she whispered, settling down on his chest. "You're going back to work on Monday."

"I am," Derek sighed. "I'll miss you."

"That's kind of sad."

Derek laughed. "I'm going to have interns," he said.

"You'll be a great teacher," Meredith assured him.

"I may come to you for pointers," Derek teased, twirling a strand of hair around his fingers.

"I'll be there," she sighed. "All summer…"

"School doesn't start for another month," Derek said knowingly. "You're going to be bored."

"No," she shrugged. "I'll pack up the apartment and move stuff to the trailer, watch the house go up."

"Come visit me at the hospital…"

Meredith giggled. "I think I might have time to check in once or twice," she said.

"It will be much appreciated," Derek laughed.

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed, snuggling closer into his chest. "I know it's the last night of our honeymoon, and you probably want sex…"

"Mer, we've been having sex multiple times a day for two weeks," he laughed. "I'm pretty sure we broke our own record today. It's okay if you're tired."

"Really?" she asked, turning her head to look up at him.

"Really," Derek laughed. "I am."

"Good," she sighed. "We can…mile high club."

"Oh, that was fun."

"Remember when we came back from Europe?" Meredith giggled.

"Of course I remember," Derek laughed. "That was probably the most embarrassing thing I've ever experienced."

"The flight attendant was obviously very concerned about your frequent trips to the restroom," Meredith giggled.

"It was a long flight," Derek protested. "It's not like there was anything better to do."

"I know," she smiled, patting his hand gently.

They were quiet for a moment, and Derek pulled is arms tighter around Meredith, burying his face in her hair. "Mer?"

"Hmmm?"

"Are you ever scared?"

"Of what?" she asked, running her hands over the soft hair on his chest.

"Losing this," Derek whispered.

Meredith pushed herself off of his chest to look at him, fear filling her eyes as she searched his eyes frantically. "What are you talking about?" she demanded. "Derek, you promised that we would always make time for each other. You promised that we'd never lose this, that we won't be with anyone besides each other. You promised, Derek, we can't lose this."

"That's not what I meant," Derek shook his head, reaching out to run a hand through her hair to comfort her. "I know that I'm never going to do anything to mess this up. And I trust that you won't either. I just… my parents were so completely in love. And now my mom's alone."

"Oh," Meredith whispered, relaxing slightly before she looked closely at him. "Derek… you can't live in constant fear of that. We can't."

"I know," he sighed, reaching in to pull her closer. "I just…God, Mer, I love you so incredibly much. And I have no idea what I would do if I lost you. Tomorrow or fifty years from now…I honestly have no idea what I would do."

"You'd be okay," Meredith whispered. "It would be hard and knowing you, you would probably spend a lot of time drunk at the lake, but…you'd be okay. Because you're you. And you're strong enough to move on. You did it when your dad died."

"Because I had you," Derek whispered.

Meredith frowned as she reached out to run a hand through his hair, her fingers burying themselves in the thickness. He leaned into her touch, taking the comfort she was offering. "Derek," she breathed. "Where is this coming from?"

"I don't know," he said honestly. "I guess…I was just thinking about our future and how many amazing things we have to look forward to. The house, our kids, their graduations and weddings, becoming grandparents. And then I just thought that we might not get to have that. Or one of us might have to do it alone."

"It is scary," Meredith whispered. "But…that's what makes it worth it."

"What are you talking about?" Derek frowned.

"We don't know what will happen tomorrow," she sighed. "There could…be a bomb in the hospital. Or there could be someone with a gun come into the school. We don't know. But that's why we have to make every day count."

"You're right," he sighed. "I know you are."

"I wish I could do something to help."

"You're doing it."

"Good," Meredith smiled, leaning forward to press a kiss to his forehead.

"Will you promise me something?" he asked as she rested her forehead against his.

"Anything."

"Promise that we'll always tell each other we love each other before bed," Derek whispered. "I mean, I'll say it more than that and I hope you will too, but even if we're mad at each other…I want you to promise that you'll say it. Because I never want to wonder when the last time we said it was."

"Okay," Meredith nodded. "I promise."

"Thank you."

"No need to thank me," Meredith whispered.

"I like that I can talk to you about this," Derek sighed. "I don't usually let people see me vulnerable like this."

"I know," she smiled softly, shifting to pull his head into her lap, stroking his hair gently as she smiled down at him. "I love that you let me in."

"You're the only one," he whispered.

"You can always talk to me, Derek," she promised.

"You are very easy to talk to," Derek smiled. "And you can talk to me too."

"I know," she nodded. "I do."

"Hmmm," Derek sighed as he looked up at her. "Are you excited to go home?"

"I am," she nodded. "But…I'll miss the beach. And the nakedness."

"We can be naked at home," Derek promised. "I can arrange for lots of naked at home."

Meredith giggled. "Good," she said. "You've set a pretty high bar for yourself, husband."

"Oh, I can top it," Derek nodded. "I think I've figured out a way to get some in the shower at the trailer."

"I told you, it's impossible," Meredith rolled her eyes. "The last time we tried I ended up on the floor outside the shower."

"Well, now I know that the door is not stable enough to take that much force," Derek shrugged.

"Impossible," Meredith said.

"You'll see," Derek said with a smirk.

"How far do you think the house is?" Meredith changed the subject.

"Well, they were supposed to have most of the walls up in the first floor by now," Derek sighed. "So…we're lucky if the foundation is poured."

"Derek," she rolled her eyes.

"It's true," he laughed.

"We have to start thinking about things," she said.

"Things?" Derek asked.

"Paint colors, furniture, carpets…things," she nodded.

"Well, that will give you something to do for the rest of the summer," Derek laughed.

"Derek, it's your house too," she said. "I want your opinion."

"Well…anything that I disagree with you on, you'll just change the order so you can get what you want."

"That's not true," she frowned.

"Oh really?" Derek raised his eyebrows. "What about the kitchen table?"

"That was…different," Meredith said. "The one you wanted was ugly."

"My point exactly," Derek nodded.

"Fine," Meredith sighed. "I'll just do it all by myself."

"I trust you, Mer," Derek said. "But I'm helping to pick out our bed."

She giggled as she leaned down to kiss him. "We do need to test that out together," she nodded.

"I doubt we'll be allowed to test them the way I want to," Derek said, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Definitely not," Meredith sighed. "But we'll make sure that it's comfortable."

"We'll try every mattress in the store."

"Hmm," Meredith sighed. "Derek, we'll be happy, won't we? Even with the jobs and life and mothers who don't care about my wedding…we'll be happy? No matter what happens?"

"We will," Derek nodded, sitting up to press a firm kiss to her lips. "I promise, Meredith Shepherd. We will be happy."


	59. Chapter 59

Derek ran a hand through his hair as he parked his car in front of the trailer, looking out at the house that was actually starting to look like a house. The interior walls were almost complete, and the main focus right now was the roof. He shook his head slightly as he looked over at their cliff. His house had a roof. He and Meredith were literally watching the roof go up over their heads.

As he stepped into the trailer, he immediately felt the need to turn around and run back to the hospital. His wife was not in a good mood.

"Stupid fucking sheets," she muttered, and he bit back a laugh as he stepped closer to the bed to see her wrestling to get the fitted sheet onto the bed. Her hair was a mess, piled on top of her head, and her eyes were flashing. She was madder than he had ever seen her, and he quickly ran through everything he had done recently in his head, trying to figure out if he was the cause of this anger.

"Mer?" he asked hesitantly, reaching out tentatively to place a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

"Am I okay?" she snapped, turning to look at him. "No, I'm not okay. What kind of question is that? Seriously, Derek, you're the one who insisted on buying this stupid trailer with the dumb bed that doesn't have any sheets that fit it."

"Okay, you're not upset because of the sheets," Derek said gently, not daring to tell her that she was trying to put them on sideways.

"No," Meredith shook her head. "I had a meeting with the superintendent today. And due to stupid dumb budget cuts, they're transferring me to the high school."

"What?" Derek asked. "You can't teach high school. You teach first grade."

"Thank you!" Meredith cried, turning to pace very small laps in the confined space of the trailer. "I have been trying to convince my stupid bosses of that all day."

"Are you even certified to teach high school?"

"Yes," she sighed. "I was in a special program in high school, I got a dual degree in elementary and secondary education."

"Oh," Derek sighed. "So…you're moving to the high school."

"I don't want to," she sighed, collapsing onto the bed beside him. "You have to do something."

"What?" Derek asked. "What am I supposed to do."

"I don't know," she cried, throwing her hands in the air. "You're my husband. Aren't husbands supposed to fix things for their wives?"

"Well, I love the confidence you have in me," Derek sighed. "But Mer, I'm afraid this one is all you. I'll support you whatever you want."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"I make enough money to support both of us," Derek said. "You can take time off. Except I know you'll be completely bored."

"Yes, I would," Meredith nodded. "Seriously. I miss one stupid meeting because I'm getting married and they completely shove me to the bottom of the barrel. Who punishes people because they're getting married?"

"Mer…"

"I mean, why couldn't they have transferred that moron Andrew? He's completely incompetent, and he still looks at me in this completely creepy way, which is probably my fault because I let myself think I could fall in love with someone who wasn't you. But I couldn't do that because you're you. But he should just leave me alone. I mean, isn't screaming your name when I was in bed with him enough of a clue?"

"Meredith."

"How am I supposed to teach high school history? I know absolutely nothing about the stupid revolutionary war or how the slaves were emancipated or any of that. I teach addition and subtraction. I don't teach historical patterns and lessons learned. Seriously, to who does this benefit."

"Meredith!" Derek said firmly, reaching out to pull her to sit on her lap.

"What are you doing?" she snapped, trying to pull out of his arms.

"Why don't you just try to find a job at another school?" Derek suggested, holding her tight against him.

"Another…" Meredith eyes lit up as she turned to cup his face in her hands. "I knew there was a reason I married you!"

"Glad I could be of service," Derek laughed.

"I'll probably still have to teach high school for a year," she sighed. "But while I'm doing that, I'll look for other jobs."

"Good," Derek smiled, tightening his arms around her. "You want to walk up to the house?"

"Oh," Meredith bit her lower lip. "I um…already saw it today."

"Why do I have the feeling that you did something you weren't supposed to?" Derek asked.

"Well…I was pretty angry when I got home from my meeting," Meredith sighed. "I may have gone up there and asked for a hammer and some spare pieces of drywall and then gotten all of my rage out that way. Or well…some of my rage."

Derek laughed as he pulled her closer. "How crazy did you seem?" he asked.

"Some of the workers were probably scared of what I would do to them if they got anything wrong on the house," she giggled. "And maybe you should go up there so they know that you're alive."

"I've never known you to have this much of a temper," Derek laughed. "It's kind of hot."

Meredith smiled as she straddled him. "I could call the superintendent and get mad at him again," she whispered. "And then we can try having angry sex."

"Let me dial for you," Derek whispered as she shoved him onto his back on the bed.

XXXXX

"Dr. Shepherd," a nurse sighed as he ran down to the ER a week later. "There's a patient in Exam Room one refusing treatment from anyone besides you."

"Can I see the chart please?" Derek asked, glancing down at his watch. Today had been Meredith's first day as a high school teacher, and he wanted to be home to hear about it.

"No chart," she sighed. "She refuses to tell us her name or her complaint. Only that she needs to see Dr. Shepherd immediately."

Derek rolled his eyes as he moved to the exam room. "I'll be back to make up a chart," he sighed.

As soon as he opened the door, he blinked in surprise before he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. "Mer, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I have a surprise for you," she giggled, shrugging out of her denim jacket and reaching for the buttons on her blouse.

"Okay, as much as I love you surprising me at work like this, I'm a little busy," Derek sighed. "Can it…what the hell is that?"

Meredith smiled as she turned so her back faced him and she felt him run his hands over her right shoulder. "You like?"

"Mer," he breathed. "You tattooed my name on your back?"

"Mmmhmmm," she nodded. "I was bored."

"So you got a tattoo?" he asked, leaning down to press a soft kiss to the black outline of his name.

"Yeah," she shrugged. "Do you like it?"

"I love it," he smiled. "I can't believe you did this."

"It's not that big a deal," she shrugged.

"Meredith, my name is on your back."

"I know," she nodded. "I know you wanted me to put it on my forehead so other men would stop hitting on me. I figured this was a good compromise."

"Very good," Derek nodded. "Did it hurt?"

"Not really," Meredith shrugged. "Addison was with me. I'm pretty sure she won't be able to scrub in any time soon because I was squeezing her hand so hard, but…that's not my problem."

Derek laughed as he leaned down to kiss the tattoo one last time before he turned her around to face him. "How was school?" he asked.

"It was better than I thought," she sighed. "I loved being called Mrs. Shepherd all day."

"That must have been a definite bonus," Derek nodded.

"And the kids…some of them aren't that bad. But then there are the ones like me."

"You mean the angry punk rockers with pink hair?" Derek smirked.

"Shut up."

"Hmmm," Derek sighed. "So I was about to leave when there was a mystery patient in the ER."

"That patient needs a very…inappropriate exam," Meredith smiled. "Maybe we should go out to the woods. So I can make you scream as loud as you want."

"Okay," Derek nodded. "But first…a pit stop."

XXXXX

"You're such a copy cat," Meredith giggled as they walked into the trailer a few hours later.

"I am not," Derek frowned as he collapsed onto the bed.

"I got a tattoo of your name and suddenly you have a burning desire to get one as well," Meredith rolled her eyes as she reached for his pants, pulling them down and gently easing the patch of fabric off of his skin to reveal her name imprinted on his hip. "And you were a very brave boy. You didn't cry that much."

"I wasn't crying," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Sure," Meredith nodded.

"I kept thinking he was going to slip and the needle would…well, it doesn't matter."

"Hmm," Meredith smiled as she shifted her attention to his hardening penis. "I would have been very angry if he had damaged this perfection in any way," she giggled.

"That's all I'm saying," Derek nodded.

"Hmm," Meredith smiled as she leaned back to strip herself of her clothes, watching Derek pull his shirt over his head as well.

"You know," Derek whispered. "When I was in high school I had this fantasy about my history teacher."

"Oh did you," Meredith raised her eyebrows. "Tell me more."

"Well, I was a very bad student," Derek said huskily. "And she needed to punish me. And after she punished me for being such a bad boy, she had to teach me."

"What kinds of things did she teach you?" Meredith purred, running her fingertips over the outline of her name on his hip.

"Dirty things," Derek gasped.

Before Meredith could respond, the door to the trailer burst open and both of their heads snapped up to see Lexie stumble in. "Mer, I knocked, but…oh. Wow, okay, I'm going to go die now," she stammered as she set her eyes on them.

"Lexie," Meredith gasped as Derek fumbled for the covers. "You can't just come into peoples houses. Especially newlyweds because there is a very good chance that newlyweds will be having sex."

"Usually newlyweds wouldn't be having sex when they're expecting company," Lexie argued.

"Stop looking at my husband," Meredith snapped. "Naked, he's naked."

"Right," Lexie said as she turned her back to them. "You invited me and George and Mark and Addison over for dinner."

"Crap," Meredith breathed as she slid into her clothes. "I totally forgot."

"Me too," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'll…I think there's some steak in the freezer."

"Thanks," Meredith breathed, kissing him quickly. "I'll go entertain them."

"I'm so sorry," Lexie breathed as she followed Meredith out to the porch. "George is on his way over with Mark and Addison, and I just figured that you would be cooking or something."

"It's not really that big a deal," Meredith shrugged. "I definitely don't have anything to complain about."

"You really don't," Lexie giggled. "I mean not that I was looking or anything, but it was just there and Derek…wow. You weren't kidding when you said he was…well endowed."

"I know," Meredith giggled. "And what he can do with it…"

"Okay, I don't need details," Lexie winced. "I'm just…very impressed."

"Trust me, I am too," Meredith nodded.

"You want to know something?"

"Definitely," Meredith said.

"You know I…well, I slept with Mark once," Lexie said. "And I think we can settle the eternal competition between the two of them once and for all."

"Oh really?" Meredith asked. "And who wins."

"Definitely Derek," Lexie nodded. "By at least an inch."

Meredith smiled slyly. "I thought so," she giggled.

"I mean, George is good…but Derek's…"

"Okay, we can stop talking about it now," Meredith frowned. "It's my penis."

"I'm not sure I want to know that I want to know what you're talking about," Derek laughed as he came out of the trailer and sat down beside Meredith.

"Just comparing notes," Meredith giggled, leaning into him. "Lexie is very impressed."

"Well, that's not awkward," Derek rolled his eyes.

"It's a compliment," Meredith smiled. "And I'm glad that it's all mine. Well, yours and mine."

"We can stop with the girl talk any time," Derek said.

"Don't pretend that guys don't talk about sex," Lexie giggled.

"Well…it's more bragging than talking," Derek said.

"We can brag," Meredith nodded, turning to her sister. "Dude, last week Derek totally took me from behind over my desk at school. Best sex ever, man, you've got to try it sometime."

"That is not how it works," Derek rolled his eyes.

"I don't man a good guy?" Meredith frowned.

"Definitely not," Derek laughed. "But it's okay. You being a woman is one of the main reasons I love you."

"Well, I'm glad to know that," Meredith murmured as she pressed her lips against his softly.

"Oh thank God," Lexie cried as Mark's car pulled up.

"Mark Sloan is here, the party can start," Mark bellowed as he got out of the car.

"I don't know," Meredith giggled, leaning into her husband. "I think the party starts with Derek."


	60. Chapter 60

**Okay, I wasn't originally planning on doing this, but some of you predicted it in some form or another, so I thought I would give it a try. This chapter's kind of dark, but I hope you'll enjoy it anyways :)**

Derek sighed as he rolled over in bed, reaching for the warm body that usually lay beside him, frowning when he felt nothing but cold sheets beside him. He sighed as he opened his eyes and saw a note sitting on Meredith's bedside table. He reached for it and frowned at the words.

_Had to go in early for a meeting. Be home early. Love, Mer. P.S. We'll tour the house when I get home. I have a surprise for you.  
_

He sighed as he leaned back into the pillows. He had the day off, and he'd been planning on starting his wife's day off right with breakfast in bed and a good round of sex, maybe the bendy thing in the shower. She'd casually mentioned about a month ago that she had forgotten to refill her birth control, and although they hadn't talked about it, they had silently agreed that there wasn't any real need for her to refill it. He knew they should probably talk, but no birth control was enough for now. He was ready for a baby, and this was her way of telling him that she was too, so he was okay with it happening when it happened.

But now she had to go in early for a stupid meeting and he was left alone in their trailer with a feeling.

With a sigh, he pushed himself out of bed and reached for some clothes. He might as well see if he could help paint some of the rooms in the house. He'd come home more than once to find his adorable wife covered in paint, giggling loudly and he might as well give it a try.

It was October now, and the house was coming alone well. The outside was completely done, and now they were painting the inside. The electricity was up and running, and as soon as they got all the rooms painted and carpeted, they could move their furniture and belongings in, hopefully in time for Christmas. They couldn't very well fit a Christmas tree in the trailer.

Meredith was surprisingly enjoying her life as a high school teacher a lot more than she had thought she would, even if there were a few students who didn't make her life particularly easy. Hopefully she would have a good day so she would be in the mood for him to spoil her when she got home, maybe have an all night sex marathon. Yes, that would be perfect.

If only he could get rid of this feeling.

XXXXX

Meredith sighed as she dropped into the chair behind her desk. It was second period, her free period, and she was already looking forward to a break. She had woken with a feeling in her stomach and all she wanted was to hear her husband's voice, make sure he was okay. Because the last time she had had a feeling like this, Michael Shepherd had been shot and killed, so she wasn't sure she could make it through the day without hearing Derek's voice assuring her that he was fine. She needed him to calm the feeling in her stomach.

She reached for her cell phone, smiling widely as she heard her husband's voice pick up. "Aren't you supposed to be working?" he teased lightly, and she could hear the laughter in his voice.

"Free period," she replied, hoping she sounded normal. She didn't need a worried husband on her hands right now.

"What's wrong?" he asked immediately.

She sighed as she leaned back into her seat, looking at their wedding picture that faced her from the front of her desk. "I have a feeling," she admitted quietly. "A really bad feeling."

"I get those," Derek assured her in the soft voice that always seemed to calm her down.

"You do?" she asked.

"Yeah," Derek said. "You just have to wait for it to pass. It will, soon enough. I promise."

"I love you," Meredith whispered. Because in that moment, she couldn't imagine not saying it.

"I love you too," he said softly. "I'll come bring you some lunch later, how does that sound?"

"Perfect," Meredith smiled, but in that moment, she heard a loud boom, followed by screams and she suddenly felt the feeling in the pit of her stomach grow a million times worse. This was it. "Derek, I have to go," she cried. "I think someone has a gun. I love you!"

Before she could heard him respond, she threw the phone onto her desk and raced for the door as students spilled in, seeking safety. The intercom was calling for a lockdown, and she quickly locked the door and slid a desk in front of it before sliding down on the floor beside the three terrified students.

"We'll be okay," she heard herself saying. "We just have to wait."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Meredith!" Derek shouted into the phone as the line went dead. He felt panic rise in his throat as he ran for his car, lifting his phone to his ear again, praying to hear his wife's voice.

"Hi, you've reached Meredith Shepherd…"

"Fuck," he breathed as he turned onto the street. He dialed again, lifting the phone to his ear as he heard the 911 operator pick up.

"There are gunshots going off at Seattle Grace High School," he shouted. "My wife works there, you have to get her out."

"We're aware of the emergency sir, and we already have response teams at the sight," the operator recited.

"You have to make sure Meredith Shepherd gets out," he pleaded. "She's a history teacher, her classroom is on the second floor facing the courtyard."

"Sir, we're doing everything we can…"

Derek threw the phone onto the seat beside him, cursing aloud as he stepped on the gas pedal harder. He had to get to her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Mrs. Shepherd," a terrified girl whimpered from beside her. "Can't we just get out of the school?"

"It's on lockdown," Meredith said, attempting a brave smile. "No one's allowed out or in."

"That's stupid," a baseball player replied. "If we all die it's on their consciences."

"No one's going to die," Meredith said firmly. "We're safe here."

"I wouldn't be so sure of that," a calm voice said as a timid girl stepped to her feet, holding up a gun. "It's time to have some fun."

Meredith felt her heart stop beating for a moment, fear filling her entire body at the thought that today would be the day she died.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You have to let me through, I'm a doctor!" Derek shouted as he stood behind the police barricades surrounding the school. "My wife works in there, you have to let me through so I can help."

"I'm sorry, sir, but I'm not authorized to let anyone through."

"Dr. Shepherd," Mark cried, rushing over to them. "Thank God you're finally here, we were just wondering where your magic touch was."

The guard glanced between the two men for a moment before he sighed and lifted the yellow tape to allow Derek through. Derek moved quickly beside Mark as they made their way towards the ambulance. "What the hell is going on?" Derek demanded.

"They wanted doctors on call," Mark sighed. "There's already one casualty and two bullet wounds."

Derek froze, stopping to stare up at the school. "Mer…" he breathed.

"None of them were her," Mark assured her. "I don't know if she got out, but…she hasn't been brought out with the injured, and there haven't been anymore shots."

"I can't…" Derek breathed. "We have to get in there."

"We can't," Mark shook his head. "It's on lock down, they're waiting to figure out who's behind this and where the gunmen are. All we can do right now is wait. You have to be strong, Shep."

XXXXX

"Emily," Meredith breathed as she stood slowly, gently approaching the young girl in her class who had always been quiet but seemed nice enough. "What in the world did you do?"

"It's not what I did," Emily shook her head. "It's what you did. All of you. You," she said, pointing to the baseball player. "With your stupid cockiness and thinking the world revolves around you. And you," she pointed at a cheerleader. "You think you're so perfect and amazing, but you make me sick. All of you."

"Emily," Meredith shook her head. "This isn't the way to fix this."

"You're just as bad as they are," Emily breathed. "Mrs. Shepherd. You told us that you were completely miserable when you were our age, that you know what we're going through. But you don't. You have a dreamy husband who brings you lunch and looks at you like you're the only woman in the world."

"I didn't find that until I was older," Meredith said. "And you can't blame this on me."

"I'm not," Emily shook her head. "It's their fault. We couldn't take it anymore."

"We?" a girl breathed from behind Meredith.

"Do you really think that I'm the only one who's completely ignored in this school?" Emily asked. "That my mom's the only one who kicked me onto the street after she heard her friends saying that I wasn't sociable? No, I'm not. We got tired of constantly being pushed around."

"Emily, you're a great girl," Meredith said softly. "You don't need to do this."

"Yes, I do," Emily said. "No one likes me."

"That's not true," the cheerleader spoke up. "We were best friends, Em. Remember middle school?"

"That was before you joined the cheerleaders, Lauren," Emily snapped.

"I tried," Lauren whispered. "We were supposed to be friends forever. But you wanted to get high instead of hanging out with me. I never…we were supposed to be friends forever."

"Well this is the real world," Emily snapped. "And this is the only way he'll love me."

Meredith frowned as she tentatively reached forward to rest a hand on Emily's shoulder. "Who's he?" she asked.

"Don't touch me," Emily cried, turning to point the gun at Meredith.

"Okay, okay," Meredith said, backing up and holding her hands in front of her. "Calm down."

"I hate you," Emily whispered, tears filling her eyes. "I hate all of you."

"Emily, did someone make you do this?" Meredith whispered gently.

"Sit down," Emily said. "I'll shoot you, I swear I will. You have everything and I have nothing. I hate you."

"Em," Lauren said softly. "You can end this. You have the power to make this go away."

"No," Emily shook her head. "He loves me. He said…he said after we did this we could be together forever."

Before anyone could say anything else, there was a series of loud shots from the hallway, causing Meredith's stomach to lurch and the other two students to tense and curl into themselves.

"That's my cue," Emily whispered, raising the gun.

XXXXX

"Meredith," Derek shouted at the sound of the gunshots. "Oh God, Mer…We have to go in there!"

"Derek," Mark breathed, holding his friend back as he tried to run towards the doors with the police officers. "You can't do this. You have to let the police do their jobs."

"I can't," Derek shook his head, collapsing down onto the ground as sobs wracked his body. "My wife…my Mer, she could be…there were gunshots."

"Derek," Mark sighed. "You've got to get a hold of yourself. Grey's going to need you when she gets out here."

"She can't," Derek whispered. "Mark, she can't die. She's everything. We just got married and we're supposed to be fighting over paint colors for our house. She can't."

"She won't," Mark said. "You've got to be strong. She's probably in her room, waiting until the cops come to tell her that it's okay to come out."

"I can't do this without her," Derek whispered. "When Dad…she can't leave me, Mark, I can't do this without her."

"It's clear!" a voice suddenly shouted from the school. "Shooters are down."

"Meredith," Derek breathed as he watched students begin to stream out of the building. Paramedics rushed into the building, causing worried parents to rush forward and embrace their children. Derek stood still as stretchers were rolled from the school, his stomach tightening. It couldn't be Meredith. She was…she couldn't be hurt.

He turned to look at the pale faces of students who were laying comatose against the sheets, and he felt a mixture of relief and worry. He turned to another stretcher, needing to find Meredith and hold her in his arms, never let her go.

"Derek," he heard a voice gasp from behind him and he immediately turned around to face her, pulling her tightly into his arms before he had really even processed that she was standing in front of him.

"Meredith," he breathed. "Oh God, Mer. I can't…you're here. You're okay."

"Derek," she gasped, her fingers tightening around his shirt. "She…I…she died. She just shot herself, I should have…"

"Oh Mer," Derek breathed, tightening his arms around her as he suddenly realized that she had seen the worst of it. He wasn't sure exactly what she was trying to tell him but right now she just needed to be comforted.

"Derek," she whimpered as tears soaked through his shirt. "I was so scared."

"It's okay," he murmured. "You're okay. You're here and you're okay."

"I should have noticed," Meredith murmured. "She was so quiet, I never…I should have noticed."

"This isn't your fault," Derek whispered, running a hand through her hair. "Meredith, do not blame yourself."

"How…how bad?" she whispered, pulling back to look at him with tear filled eyes.

"There were three deaths I think," he murmured. "And several injured."

"I want to go to the hospital," she said. "I mean, I'm fine, but I want to go, make sure my students are okay."

"We can do that tomorrow," Derek nodded. "Right now we need to get you home."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "I want to go now."

"Mer, they're going to be receiving lots of medical attention right now," Derek said. "They won't even know you're there, if you're even allowed in to see them."

Meredith inhaled sharply as she looked up at him closely. "I need to go to the hospital," she whispered.

Derek frowned as he pulled back to look at her, running his hands over her to search for any hidden injuries. "Why?" he breathed. "Mer, are you hurt, I thought you said you were okay."

"I am," she said, tears filling her eyes as she looked up at the sky. "God, this is so not how I wanted to tell you this."

"What?" Derek asked, moving her head to meet his eyes. "Meredith, you can tell me anything, you know that."

"I know," she said, smiling slightly as she reached for his hand. "I'm okay, Derek," she said as she placed his hand on her stomach.

"Then why do you need to go to the hospital?" he asked.

"Because I want to make sure that your baby's okay."


	61. Chapter 61

"I can't believe you're pregnant," Derek murmured as he helped Meredith climb onto the exam table a couple hours later.

"I just found out," she murmured.

"Are you sure you feel okay?" Derek asked. "You're pale. Do you need some water? Something to eat?"

"Derek, I just watched one of my students shoot herself in the head," she snapped. "No, I'm not okay."

"Right," he murmured, squeezing her hand gently. "Sorry. We'll get you home as soon as we're done."

"No," she sighed, looking up at the ceiling. "I'm sorry. This is supposed to be happy, but I just…I can't get that image out of my head. It was horrible, Derek, and I can't just let it go."

"I know," he whispered, leaning forward to press a kiss to her head. "You'll be okay, Mer. I'll help you through it, whatever you need. And I'm talking spoiling. Breakfast in bed, the works."

"Thank you," she whispered.

There was a soft knock on the door, and a moment later, a doctor stepped in, smiling widely. "Dr. Shepherd," she nodded.

"Dr. White," he smiled slightly.

"And you must be Meredith," Dr. White said with a smile. "It's nice to meet the woman Dr. Shepherd talks about so much."

"Nice to meet you," Meredith murmured.

Dr. White smiled sympathetically as she reached out to set up the sonogram. "I'm sure you're baby is fine," she assured them. "But we'll do an ultrasound just to make sure. It may be too early to see anything though."

Meredith was silent as she stared at the screen, clutching Derek's hand tightly. Dr. White pressed a few buttons on the monitor before running the probe over Meredith's still flat stomach. "There we are," she said with a smile. "Everything looks good. It's still very early, I'd say that you're only three weeks along. Much too early for a heartbeat, but I'm not concerned about development."

"Oh," Derek breathed, smiling at the screen as he gripped her hand. "Meredith, that's our baby."

Meredith frowned as she propped herself up on her elbows, staring at the screen for a moment before she turned to Derek with tear filled eyes. "Derek, I can't see it," she whispered.

Derek smiled softly as he sat down beside her on the exam table, wrapping an arm around her waist as he pointed at a small spot on the screen. "See that?" he whispered, looking down at her.

She nodded silently, tears spilling down her cheeks. She clutched Derek's shirt tightly, staring at the screen.

"Mer, that's it. That's our baby."

"Oh," Meredith gasped, staring at the screen for a moment, reaching out to run her fingers over the screen before loud sobs wracked her body, causing her to bury her face in her hands, her shoulders heaving.

"Oh, Mer," Derek breathed, pulling her closer as she turned into his chest, her tears soaking his shirt as she clutched at the fabric. "It's okay. You're going to be fine. And so will the baby."

"We're having a baby," she sobbed. "And Emily…she just…she's dead, Derek. And we're having a baby."

"Shhh," Derek breathed, rocking her gently. "It's okay, Mer, let it out. I'm right here, it's okay to cry."

"I'll give you two a moment," Dr. White murmured. "I'll come back in a few minutes to follow up."

"Thanks," Derek smiled before he turned back to his wife, rocking her gently in his arms. "It's okay, Mer," he whispered. "I'm here." He ran a hand through her hair, letting her cry her feelings out.

"I'm sorry," she sobbed. "We're seeing our baby which is a good thing, it really is. I'm so happy that we're pregnant, Derek. We're having a baby, which is amazing. But I can't…I just can't…"

"Can't what?" Derek murmured.

"I can't get the image of her shooting herself out of my head," she sobbed. "She was always so calm and quiet. And the next thing I know, she's holding me hostage in my own classroom, and the way her body just dropped…I don't now that I'll ever get over that."

"I don't think you can," Derek murmured. "You just have to learn to live with it. It will fade. We'll have our baby Eventually you'll be able to get through the day without thinking about it."

"How?" Meredith whispered, tears staining her cheeks as she looked up at him with wide eyes.

"Well, you've got a lot going on," Derek said with a soft smile. "In a couple months we're going to have our house. It's almost done. You know what the painters told me today?"

"What?" she whispered.

"The rooms are done," he murmured. "So the carpeting's going in next week, and then we can start moving in."

"Really?" she whispered.

"Really," Derek promised.

"Will it ever stop hurting?" she whispered.

"Yes," Derek nodded. "And our baby will help that. He or see will be amazing. We're going to watch him or her grow, and pretty soon you'll be worrying about nursery colors and baby names."

"I can't wait," she whispered.

"Me either."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered, leaning her head against his shoulder. "I'm happy about our baby, Derek, I swear I am."

"I know you are," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "I am too. It's amazing."

"Is everything okay?" Dr. White asked, poking her head back into the room. "Are we ready to continue?"

"Yes," Derek smiled. "Thank you."

"Alright, Meredith," Dr. White sighed. "I'd say that the conception date was around the 4th, probable due date would be July 5th."

"A fourth of July baby," Derek smiled, squeezing Meredith.

"Hmmm," she nodded.

"I heard that you were at the high school shooting," Dr. White said sympathetically. "I don't see any problems with the baby, and fortunately you weren't physically injured. But I'm noticing that you're understandably emotionally upset."

"I'll be okay," Meredith murmured from her spot in Derek's arms.

"Meredith," Dr. White said. "I'm speaking as your doctor, concerned for your baby, as well as an attending concerned for her resident. You're going to be pretty traumatized by this. And it might be helpful if you went to talk to someone. We have a very effective psychological staff right here at the hospital."

"Derek," Meredith whimpered, curling closer to him. "Can we…home?"

"Sure, Mer," Derek sighed, smiling at Dr. White. "Is there anything else we should know?" he asked.

"I'm going to write you a prescription for some neonatal vitamins," Dr. White sighed. "And I know it might be hard, but this is the name of the head of our psych department. There's not pressure, Meredith, but if you're not taking care of yourself, you're not taking care of your baby. That's my main concern in this situation."

"Thank you," Derek said, taking the offered papers. "We'll make an appointment for a few weeks?"

"Please do," Dr. White smiled. "You'll be able to hear the heartbeat in a few weeks."

"Thanks," Derek smiled, shifting Meredith in his arms. "I'll help you get dressed, and then we can go home, Mer."

"Home," Meredith breathed, leaning into her husband. Right now, that was all she needed.

XXXXX

"Okay, what do you need?" Derek asked as he pulled the covers over Meredith in the trailer later that night. "Water? Something to eat? Is your head okay? I'll get you some Advil."

"Derek," she shook her head, sitting up in bed. "I just need you."

"Mer, you have to eat," he said. "I'll make you some fettucini, it's your favorite."

"I know I need to eat," Meredith whispered. "The baby needs it. But right now…all I need is my husband."

Derek sighed as he stared at her for a moment, running his hands through his hair. "Mer, I just…I need to take care of you. And the baby."

"You know what me and baby need right now?" Meredith whispered.

"What?" he asked, turning to look at her. "Are you craving something? I'll go get you anything you want."

"We need Daddy," Meredith whispered, reaching for him. "Please, Derek, I just need you."

Derek sighed as he climbed into bed beside her, pulling her into his arms. "God, Mer," he breathed. "I was so scared today."

"Me too," she whispered.

"I thought," Derek inhaled sharply as he remembered the terror that had rushed through his veins earlier that day. "I thought when the gunshots went off it was you."

"I'm okay, Derek," she whispered, taking his hand and pressing it against her stomach. "We're okay."

"I know," he nodded. "I just…Mer, I would have no idea if I lost you. After Dad…I don't know what I would do."

"Me either," she whispered. "I was so scared of leaving you alone. Because I knew that would break you."

Derek breathed in deeply, closing his arms tighter around his wife. "I love you so much, Mer," he whispered. "And our baby."

"I love you too," she whispered, snuggling closer into his warmth.

"I'm going to take the rest of the week off," he murmured into her hair. "To take care of you."

"No," Meredith shook her head, her hair falling against his chest. "I'm fine, Derek. You don't need to baby me."

"It's not babying you," Derek insisted. "It's taking care of you."

"Derek, I'll be fine," she sighed. "I just…need to work through this on my own. I don't need you to do anything besides love me. And Baby."

"I do love Baby," Derek smiled, reaching down to push her shirt over her stomach. "Hi Baby Shepherd. It's Daddy."

"Derek," Meredith giggled, running her fingers through her hair. "Our baby is the size of a grape. He or she can't hear you yet."

"Doesn't mean I can't talk to him or her," Derek shrugged. "And it got you to giggle."

Meredith smiled down at him. "Yeah," she sighed. "I guess it did."

Derek smiled as he moved back up to her, linking his hands through hers. "What do you want, Mer?"

"Can we just…sleep?" she whispered.

"Of course," Derek nodded, pressing a kiss to the side of her head. "I love you."

"I love you too."

XXXXX

Meredith sighed as she rolled over in bed, reaching for Derek and opening her eyes when all that met her hands were cold sheets. She sighed as she reached for the piece of paper on his side of the bed, letting her eyes decipher Derek's messy doctor handwriting.

_Come up to the house when you wake up sleepyhead. I've got a surprise for you. _

She sighed as she collapsed back onto the pillows, looking up at the rarely sunny sky through the skylight in the trailer. She was still completely exhausted, and she turned to look at the clock, frowning when she saw it was noon. She'd been sleeping for almost twenty hours.

She pulled herself out of bed, smiling softly as she ran a hand over her belly. "Hi baby Shepherd," she whispered as she pulled on a pair of jeans and one of Derek's sweatshirts before pushing the door open and beginning the trek to the house in front of her.

"Derek?" she called as she opened the front door, smiling at the front hall that actually looked like a front hall. The walls were painted and the hardwood floors gleamed under the large picture window at the end of the hall that looked out over Seattle.

"Mer," Derek smiled as he came down the stairs that were still waiting to be carpeted. "How are you feeling?" he asked as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her softly.

"Better," she nodded as she looped her arms around her neck. "Our house is almost done."

"It is," Derek said, pulling back and reaching for her hand. "Come here."

Meredith followed him up the stairs, giggling softly as he stopped outside their closed master bedroom door. "Derek, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Close your eyes," he said.

"What?" Meredith asked. "Why?"

"Because I'm your husband and I said so," Derek replied.

"Excuse me?" Meredith asked, narrowing her eyes and placing her hands on her hips.

"I mean…I have a really great surprise for you and I'd really like for you to close your eyes so I can see the expression on your face," Derek corrected himself. "But you definitely don't have to if you don't want to."

"Good answer," Meredith said, reaching for her hand and closing her eyes. "Okay."

"Thank you," Derek said, squeezing her hand and she heard him push the door open. He took her hand and guided her into the room before whispering, "okay, you can open them."

Meredith opened her eyes, gasping as she looked around the bedroom that had been completely empty only two days before. A soft blue carpet sat on the floor, and a large four poster bed sat in front of her. She looked around the room in awe, taking in the nightstand tables and dressers, candlelight illuminating the room. "Derek," she breathed, stepping closer to the bed to run a hand over the white comforter, looking at the French doors that led to the balcony overlooking their cliff. "What…how?"

"We had the furniture all picked out," Derek smiled. "After you fell asleep last night I called Mark, and we set this all up."

"It's…ready?" she breathed. "To live in?"

"It is," Derek laughed. "Bedroom, kitchen, and office are done. Of course the kitchen and the office don't have any furniture, but we can take care of that."

"Wow," Meredith smiled, settling onto the bed. "It's comfortable."

"I know," Derek smiled, moving to sit beside her.

"Thank you," Meredith whispered, running a hand through his hair. "I love you."

"I love you too," Derek smiled before leaning down to press a hand to her stomach. "And you, Baby Shepherd. Daddy loves you."


	62. Chapter 62

"God, I love you," Derek breathed over a month later as Meredith slid out of bed and moved towards their closet.

"I love you too," Meredith giggled.

"I wasn't exactly talking to you," Derek laughed, moving to kneel in front of her and press his lips against her already swollen stomach. "Hi Baby Shepherd," he whispered against her belly button.

"Thanks, Der," Meredith rolled her eyes, running a hand over his hair. "Do you think everything's okay?"

"Of course," Derek said, standing to meet her eyes. "Why? Does something feel wrong?"

"No," Meredith shook her head. "It's just that…I have a bump. Already. There's a huge bump.

"You do," Derek nodded, running his hands over her baby bump. "It's a beautiful bump."

"I'm only eight weeks along," Meredith said. "You're the doctor, is that normal? It has to be normal."

"Every pregnancy is different," Derek shrugged. "We'll ask Dr. White when we get to the hospital."

"Okay," she said.

"And you know what else we can do?" Derek asked, moving to his dresser and pulling on a pair of boxers.

"What?" Meredith asked, starting to get dressed as well. She reached for a bra, frowning as she had to extend the straps.

"Hear the heartbeat," Derek said with a grin.

"Oh," Meredith breathed, running a hand over her stomach. "Wow. I'm going to hear my baby's heartbeat."

"And…Mer, we have to tell the family," Derek said carefully.

"I know," she sighed. "I really wish your mom didn't have some weird super human pregnancy sensor."

Derek laughed. "I'll never forget the look on Nancy's face when Mom told her she was pregnant," he said.

"It's crazy, Derek," Meredith sighed, looking down at her pants. "I can't even button them."

Derek frowned as he moved closer to her. "It is quite the bump," he smiled. "We must have a big baby."

"Great," Meredith rolled her eyes. "That will be fun in seven months. But it will be worth it."

"Hmmm," Derek said, his hands moving to cup a swollen breast in his hand. "These will be fun tonight."

"Derek," she winced, pulling back. "Don't tough. They're sore. Very sore. Sore and tender."

"Huge and hot," Derek countered.

"No touching," Meredith shook her head. "I know you like them, but…they hurt. You can have them soon."

"Fine," Derek sighed. "You can wear sweats if you want. And borrow one of my shirts. We need to go shopping soon."

"Your sisters want to drag me shopping on Black Friday," Meredith rolled her eyes. "But I think my fat jeans should still fit. I hope."

"Well, they'll understand when they find out about the baby," Derek assured her. "Especially Kath and Nancy."

"Good," Meredith sighed, pulling a winter vest on over Derek's sweatshirt. "Ready to go?"

"Ready," Derek said reaching for her hand. "We're going to see our baby, Mer."

"Baby," Meredith breathed, rubbing her stomach. She smiled as Derek dragged her down the stairs of their nearly finished house.

In the past two months, things had progressed quite quickly. The basic rooms in the house were complete, and right now the playroom was taking priority. The nursery would be next, but Derek had insisted on waiting until they found out the sex of the baby. It was almost Thanksgiving now, and she couldn't help but get excited at the fact that for next Thanksgiving they would have their own baby to celebrate with. They would no longer be Derek and Meredith Shepherd, happy newlyweds. They would be the Shepherds, a happy family of parents and a baby.

"What are you thinking about?" Derek murmured, reaching for her hand across the gear shift.

"That a year from now we'll have our baby," she said. "We'll be a family. The Shepherds."

"We will," Derek nodded. "God, Mer. Can you believe that two ago I was making you Thanksgiving at your old house because you refused to eat with Meg because she was your student?"

"It feels like forever ago," Meredith whispered.

"We had some hot sex that night," Derek laughed.

Meredith giggled. "Thanks for being so patient, Derek," she whispered. "I know you've been wanting it, but I've just been…getting fat."

"You're not fat," Derek laughed. "And I know enough about pregnancy to know that before too long you'll be very horny. And I'll be happy to fulfill every single one of those cravings."

"How generous," Meredith giggled.

"Just being a good husband."

"You're an amazing husband," she nodded.

They reached the hospital before too long, and Meredith giggled excitedly as she pulled him towards the door. "Our baby, Derek," she breathed. "We're going to hear the heartbeat."

"I know," Derek laughed. "Calm down, Mer, it's not good for Baby."

"Baby's fine," she smiled, pulling him into the empty elevator and pushing him against the wall, kissing him firmly.

"Oh," Derek gasped as he pulled her close, kissing her back as his hands moved down her curvier hips. "God, Mer."

"Hmmm," she sighed, neither one of them noticing as the doors slid open.

"Oh dear Christ," Mark rolled his eyes. "You don't even work here, Grey? Can't I go anywhere without watching you two make out?"

"No," Derek laughed. "Unless you moved across the country."

"No can do, Shep," Mark shook his head. "I'd hate to cause you that much heartbreak."

"It's hot in here," Meredith sighed as she pulled her vest off and handed it to Derek before pulling his sweatshirt over her head.

"Okay, we don't need… Holy hell, Grey," Mark said, swallowing hard as he looked down at her.

"Stop looking at my wife's boobs," Derek frowned.

"But…they're…um…" Mark cleared his throat, looking up at the ceiling. "Damn, this elevator's slow."

"Stop thinking about her," Derek threatened.

"Derek," Meredith rolled her eyes, reaching for his hand. "Let's go."

"Why are you getting off on the gynie…oh," Mark gasped, stepping off the elevator after them. "You're knocked up?"

Derek rolled his eyes. "Yes," he said. "No one else knows yet, so don't say anything. We're going tell the family on Thursday."

"Fine," Mark nodded. "Congrats, man."

"Thanks," Derek laughed. "And um…you too. You're a godfather now."

"Derek," Meredith breathed, pulling on his hand. "We have to go."

"Right," Derek said. "We'll see you later, Mark."

"Bye Shep," Mark called. "Congrats, Grey."

"Slow down, Mer," Derek laughed as she dragged him towards the desk.

"I can't slow down," she giggled. "Our baby, Der."

"Dr. White is expecting you, Mrs. Shepherd," the nurse smiled. "Right this way."

Meredith followed her down the hall, Derek trailing behind and watching his wife with captivating interest. Pregnancy definitely suited her, and he wasn't sure that he had ever been this turned on. He was living with an almost constant erection, and although Meredith was too tired to do anything about it, he was holding out until the second trimester. He'd heard stories, and he couldn't wait until her sex obsession started.

"Hmmm," the nurse frowned as she looked down at the scale where Meredith was currently standing.

"Is everything okay?" Meredith asked, fear evident in her voice.

"Yes," the nurse said with a distracted frown, reaching for a measuring tape and wrapping it around Meredith's stomach. "There's just more weight gain to be expected. And you're only eight weeks along, but you're already showing, which is a little unusual."

"Oh," Meredith frowned, reaching for Derek's hand. "That's okay, right? That just means Baby's growing well, right? Derek?"

"It's a good thing, Mer," Derek nodded, hoping he was right. He was definitely wishing that he had paid more attention during his obgyn cases in his internship.

"I'll have Dr. White talk to you about it," the nurse nodded, handing Meredith a gown. "Change into this and get settled onto the table, she'll be in shortly."

"Okay," Meredith whispered, turning to look at Derek with wide, tear filled eyes. "Derek…"

"Everything's fine, Mer," he assured her. "Let's just get changed and we'll ask Dr. White."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door and Dr. White smiled widely as she entered the room. "Hello Shepherds," she said. "How's Mom feeling?"

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "The nurse…she said the baby's really big."

"I saw that," Dr. White said, pulling her gown up and spreading gel over her belly. "We're going to check on that right now."

"We're going to see our baby?" Meredith breathed.

"Mmmhmm," Dr. White nodded, her eyes trained on the screen as she ran the probe over Meredith's belly. A moment later the inside of Meredith's uterus appeared on the screen, and she turned to Derek with a wide smile. "Here's a pop quiz, Dr. Shepherd," she said. "What do you see?"

Derek moved closer to the screen, squinting for a moment before his eyes went wide. "Oh my God."

"What?" Meredith asked, fear filling her eyes as she propped herself up on her elbows to look at the screen. "What is it? Derek? What's wrong with the baby?"

"Nothing," he breathed, laughing slightly as he squeezed her hand tightly. "Our babies are just fine."

"Then what…" she blinked for a moment before she asked, "Babies?"

"Yes," Derek whispered, tears filling his eyes as he looked down at her. "Mer, we're having twins."

"Twins?" Meredith repeated, looking closer at the screen. "I can't…"

"See…" Derek said, pointing to a small oval on the screen. "That's baby A. There's the heart and the head is right there. And this…" he moved his hand to an identical shape. "Is baby B. See them?"

"I see them," she breathed. "Twins…Derek…"

"Mer," he whispered, falling down beside her on the exam table. "Oh God, thank you."

"Derek," she whispered, cupping his face in her hand and kissing him gently before she turned back to the screen. "Our babies."

"Those are our babies," he nodded, laughing slightly.

"Wow," Meredith whispered.

"Two more Shepherds," Derek laughed. "This is amazing."

"I'll print you out some pictures," Dr. White said gently, interrupting their moment. "And then there are some things I'd like to go over with the two of you."

"Everything's okay, right?" Meredith asked, turning to their doctor. "The babies are okay?"

"They look perfect," Dr. White nodded. "But you're a small woman, so carrying twins will be especially hard on your body."

"She'll be okay though, right?" Derek frowned. "She's not in any danger?"

"No," Dr. White said. "But by the end things will be very crowded and cramped. You'll probably have to go on bed rest for the last few weeks."

"Oh," Meredith frowned. "But I can…things are okay? Is there anything I should or shouldn't be doing?"

"Exercise the same caution you would with a single pregnancy," Dr. White nodded. "Your symptoms may be more intense, but everything should be alright. I'm going to suggest a C-section, but we can talk about that much later on. I'll give you my card and you can call me if you have any questions. And if I know Dr. Shepherd the way I think I do, I may be stalked for the next seven months."

"You do know him," Meredith giggled, squeezing Derek's hand.

"Hey, you can't be mean to me," Derek frowned. "I gave you babies."

"You did," she giggled. "And I love you for it."

"Here are your pictures," Dr. White said, handing Derek a few pictures. "Baby A and B, and them together. Meredith, do you have enough vitamins left?"

"Yes," she nodded.

"Alright, do you have any questions right now?" Dr. White asked.

"I don't think so," Meredith breathed. "I'm just…wow. Twins."

"Alright, I'm going to want to see you again at the twelve week mark," Dr. White said. "That's the second trimester mark, and I'm going to want to see you a little more frequently for multiple births."

"Okay," Meredith nodded. "It's okay for me to work? And drive?"

"Everything you normally do is fine," Dr. White nodded. "Everyday life, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning…" she trailed off as Derek scoffed.

"Sorry," he coughed, smiling down at Meredith. "Love you."

She rolled her eyes as she turned back to Dr. White. "Thank you, Dr. White," she said. "We'll see you after Christmas."

"Of course," Dr. White nodded. "Happy holidays. I'll see you soon, Dr. Shepherd."

She slipped out of the room and Derek turned to look at Meredith. "Twins," he breathed.

"Twins," she giggled, reaching up to run a hand through his hair. "We can do this?" she asked. "I mean, I'm going to take next year off, but that's besides the point. You sure you're ready, with work and…everything? You're ready for babies? Two babies?"

"I'm ready," Derek laughed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "I love you. All three of you."

"We love you too," she smiled, running a hand over her stomach. "The babies say hi Daddy."


	63. Chapter 63

Meredith sighed as she opened the front door, stepping into her house and dropping several shopping bags onto the floor as she leaned against the now closed front door. It was two days after Christmas, and Derek's sisters had insisted on taking her shopping for maternity clothes during the post holiday sales. She had been shopping for the past three and a half hours, and although she was in her second trimester already, her back was killing her and her completely swollen stomach was straining as the muscles started to lengthen.

"Mer?" her husband's voice called as he came out of the kitchen, smiling widely. "Hey, how was shopping?"

"Good," she nodded, moving to lean her weight against him instead of the door. She pressed her lips against his before resting her head against his chest. "Although your sisters are evil."

"I've been saying that for twenty eight years," Derek laughed. "They weren't mean to you, were they?"

"Of course not," she rolled her eyes. "Just…they think they know everything about having babies. But none of them have had twins. And when Kath was in her second trimester she was barely even showing."

"Hmm," Derek sighed. "They're know it alls. Sorry. I can talk to them if you want me to."

"It's okay," she sighed, rubbing her stomach gently.

"Are the babies okay?" Derek asked, moving to his knees in front of her and lifting her shirt.

"They're good," Meredith nodded, smiling as he pressed his lips to each side of her stomach. "My stomach's just…growing."

"That it is," he smiled softly. "Hi guys. Daddy missed you today. I hope you were good for Mommy."

"What did you do today?" Meredith asked as Derek stood again and took her hand, kissing her gently.

"Went into the hospital this morning," Derek shrugged. "Then just came home, set up the office a little more."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded, leaning against him as he led her into the kitchen. "Derek," she gasped when she saw dinner sitting on the table, soft candlelight illuminating the room. "What is this?"

Derek smiled as he kissed her quickly. "We're in the second trimester now," he smiled. "You've been amazing, Mer, putting up with morning sickness and everything else, but you're feeling a lot better now, so I figured we could celebrate. Dinner, movies, whatever you want."

Meredith smiled softly. "Thank you," she whispered, pressing her lips to his. "We love you."

"I love you too," Derek said, running a hand over her bump. "All three of you. So much."

"What are we having for dinner, Daddy?" she giggled as she sat down and reached for a piece of garlic bread.

"Well, I wasn't sure what the cravings would be today," he laughed. "But I figured steak was a safe bet."

"Definitely," she giggled, reaching eagerly for a knife and fork as she dug into the plate Derek had set in front of her.

"So since you're feeling better," Derek said as he started eating as well. "I was thinking that now would be the best time to start getting ready for the babies. Or at least thinking about it."

"What do you mean?" she asked, reaching for the glass of sparkling grape juice Derek had offered her in lieu of wine.

"There's a pretty good chance you'll be put on bed rest," Derek pointed out. "And even if you're not, by the end you're going to be exhausted, Mer. Carrying two babies isn't easy. I'd really feel better if we did everything we could together, when you're still comfortable."

"Oh," she nodded, a smirk playing on her lips. "Okay." She bit into her steak again, smiling slightly at him.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Derek asked.

"I feel like I was just lectured by Dr. Shepherd," Meredith giggled. "You were using your doctor voice."

"I was not," Derek rolled his eyes. "What do you think?"

"It's a good idea," she sighed. "I don't…there's so much to do. But we have to find out the sexes first. Unless we want gender neutral stuff."

"We should paint the nursery a neutral color," she nodded. "In case it's one of each, or when we have more, we don't want to repaint it."

Derek laughed slightly. "You've been thinking about this," he said as he reached for her hand.

"I have," she blushed. "I mean, school let out a week ago and you were at stupid work until Christmas Eve, so I had lots of time to think."

"What else were you thinking about?" Derek asked, running a hand over her wedding rings.

"Well, white cribs," Meredith said. "White is happier than brown or wood or whatever. And I think we'll only need one changing table. And we should wait to fill the playroom, because they won't really be able to play with real toys for a couple years. But I want… bears."

"Bears?" Derek asked with an amused smile.

"Mmmhmm," Meredith nodded. "Teddy bears. I had a collection when I was little, but when I was six my mom threw them all out, said I was too old to play with stuffed animals."

"Oh Mer," Derek sighed, squeezing her hand.

"I don't…" Meredith looked closely at him for a moment before she said. "I don't want to be my mom, Derek."

"You won't," Derek said, shaking his head. "Meredith, you're already the most amazing mother."

"Really?" she asked, biting her lower lip.

"Really," Derek smiled. "Don't think I don't notice when you sneak onto my laptop and look up each week of your pregnancy. Or that my obgyn text has suddenly gone missing. And my favorite is the way you look down at your stomach, stroking it softly when you think no one's looking. You have this incredible secret smile, like you're sharing something with your babies, something that only the three of you know."

Meredith smiled softly as she shifted to sit in his lap. She kissed him gently, her hand moving through his hair before she whispered, "Our babies."

"Hmm?" Derek asked, looking up at her with a soft smile.

"You called them my babies," Meredith whispered. "They're ours."

"I know," Derek said with a smile, reaching out to rub her stomach softly. "God, Mer, this is so incredible."

"What?" she asked, curling her fingers around his hair.

"My babies," Derek breathed. "They're…inside of you. I've seen pregnancy a lot, Mer. I'm a doctor, I see pregnancy all the time. But it's so different when I think about the fact that my babies are inside of you, the woman I love."

Meredith smiled softly. "I know," she whispered. "It's like…I have part of you with me wherever I go."

"You do," he smiled. "You're taking care of my babies."

"They're safe, Derek," she said, holding his hand against her stomach. "They're definitely growing."

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "You know what they're doing this week?"

"What?" she asked, smiling softly.

"Their eyes are forming," Derek breathed. "And so are their vocal chords. And pretty soon they'll both have kidneys and intestines."

"Wow," Meredith breathed. "Our babies have kidneys."

"They do," Derek laughed.

Meredith sighed in contentment, leaning into her husband for a moment before she whispered, "When do you have to work again?"

"Tomorrow," he sighed.

"Oh," she nodded. "Okay."

"My next day off is the first," he sighed. "I got Christmas off, which apparently means that I have to work New Year's."

"That sucks," Meredith frowned.

"Believe me, I know," Derek sighed, leaning into her. "I'll only be on call, but…I hate the idea of not ringing in the new year with you."

"I'll probably just sleep," she sighed, rubbing her stomach. "But at least I won't be alone."

Derek laughed as he leaned down to her stomach. "You guys need to keep Mommy company on New Years," he said. "Because Daddy's job is completely stupid, and he has to work. So you have to keep her company."

"They're kind of always keeping me company," Meredith giggled.

"Shh," Derek frowned up at her. "I'm trying to have a conversation with my children."

"Who can't actually hear you yet," Meredith giggled. "Because they don't have ears."

"Doesn't mean they don't understand me," he laughed. "I'm their daddy."

"I know you are," Meredith sighed. "I'll find a way to deal with the fact that my children have an idiot as a father."

"I'm going to let that slide because you're carrying my babies."

"Good," Meredith giggled. "Can we go somewhere more comfortable?"

"Of course," Derek said, letting her stand up and following her to the hall. "Bed or couch?"

"Bed," Meredith nodded. "I don't want to move for the rest of the night."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Derek asked with a frown.

"I'm fine," Meredith said. "I have two babies inside of me, Derek. And your sisters dragged me all over Seattle to find stupid fat people jeans, so I'm tired."

"Okay," Derek nodded. "Go on up, and then I'll bring desert up to you."

"Thanks," she smiled, kissing him softly before she moved towards the stairs.

When she reached their bedroom, she dumped her newly purchased clothes on the bed and began folding them, looking down at them with a frown. "Stupid fat clothes," she muttered. She sighed as she pulled her shirt over her head, turning to look at herself in the full length mirror that hung from the back of the bathroom door. She wasn't huge yet, definitely pregnant, but she had a sinking feeling that she was going to pop very soon and then be a completely fat person.

For now, though, her stomach was swollen, and her breasts were two entire cup sizes larger. Apparently having twins meant more milk, which meant even bigger breasts, much to her husband's pleasure. She ran a gentle hand over her stomach as she turned sideways to look at herself, wondering why people hated being pregnant. Sure there had been the morning sickness and the mood swings and the getting fat, but…she loved her babies. She was willing to let them attack her body for a little while if that meant that they would be completely healthy and perfect.

"You know you're beautiful," her husband's voice came from the doorway, causing her to look at him with a wide smile.

"So I've heard," she said with a smile.

"You are," Derek said, pushing himself off the wall and moving towards her. He reached out to take her into his arms, gently rubbing her stomach. "And you're all baby."

"For now," Meredith sighed.

"You will be," Derek nodded. "You're beautiful, Mer."

"You really think so?" she whispered.

"I do," he nodded, running a hand through her hair. "These are huge," he said, running a hand over her breasts. "And amazing."

"One track mind," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Definitely not," Derek said, running his hands down to her baby bump. "This beautiful belly is taking care of my babies." He smiled as he pressed a kiss to the right side of her stomach. "Hi Baby A," he murmured, moving to her left side and kissing that side as well. "Hi Baby B."

"They need names," Meredith murmured.

"We need to find out sexes first," Derek sighed.

"Three weeks."

"If they're not stubborn like their mother."

"Because their father is the most compliant person in the world."

"Of course," Derek nodded. "I'm perfect."

"Next time I need a good laugh I'm going to remember you saying that," Meredith said as she moved to collapse on the bed. "Where's my desert?"

"I'm not sure I want to feed you if you're just going to be mean to me," Derek said.

"Well…I don't want desert," Meredith shook her head.

"You don't?" Derek raised an eyebrow.

"Nope," Meredith shook her head. "But our babies do. And if you're going to deny your children the simple pleasures in life, that's okay. I guess."

Derek rolled his eyes as he handed her a plate of chocolate cake. "You're very good at the whole guilt trip thing," he sighed. "But you know I would never deny you anything. Especially when you're pregnant."

"I know," she giggled around her fork. "Which is why I don't feel bad asking you to get me some milk."

Derek laughed as he moved closer to kiss her quickly. "I'll be right back," he said.

"Thank you," Meredith called after him.

She smiled as she looked down at her stomach. "Your daddy's going to spoil us," she whispered. "And I'm going to take complete advantage of it, because after you're born he probably won't even remember I exist."

"That is so not true," Derek announced as he came back into the room, a tall glass of milk in his hands.

"Hmm?" Meredith asked, gulping the milk down.

"I'll never forget about you," Derek said, running a hand through her hair as he sat down beside her again.

"Really?" Meredith whispered. "Because we're going to have two babies and you're going to be a resident, and…"

"Mer, you're always going to be important," he whispered. "Our kids…they'll probably be number one, I'm not going to lie about that. But we'll still find time to be husband and wife. We can't be Mommy and Daddy all the time."

"Good," she whispered. "I'm sorry I'm going crazy."

"You're not crazy," Derek said, pulling her into his arms. "You're pregnant. And you've been handling it amazingly well."

"Well, I have an amazingly supportive husband," Meredith smiled. "Who's going to be an amazing father."

"I hope so," he sighed, shifting to rest his head against her stomach. "I love them so much."

"I know," Meredith whispered, running a hand through his hair. "I love them too. And that's what matters. We can do this."


	64. Chapter 64

Derek sighed and ran a hand through his hair as he stared down at the papers spread on his desk before him. Meredith was at work, and he'd taken advantage of that opportunity to start figuring out some of their finances. He didn't want her to worry about things like that, but he was starting to wonder exactly how they were going to support two children when they were trying to pay off building a brand new house. He just had to figure this out.

"Derek?" Meredith's voice called as the door slammed closed, and a moment later she appeared in the doorway to his office, smiling widely as she dropped her bag on the floor. "Hi."

"Hey," he sighed, faking a small smile. "How was work? Did anything exciting happen?"

"Good," she sighed. "I talked to them about leaving in May. They were pretty understanding about it, but I might just not come back after spring break in April if I don't want to. I get three months of paid maternity leave, so it doesn't really matter when I leave."

"That's good," he nodded as he turned back to the papers spread in front of him on the desk.

"Hey," Meredith frowned, moving to sit on his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. "You didn't say hi to the babies."

A true smile spread across his face as he ran a hand over her stomach. "Hi guys," he murmured. "I'm glad you were good for Mommy today. Keep it up for the next few months.

"Mommy would like a kiss from Daddy," Meredith whispered, leaning into him with a smile.

"Hmm," Derek smiled, pressing his lips against hers softly. "Daddy likes kissing Mommy."

"Are you okay?" she whispered as she pulled back. "You seem…off. Sad or something."

"I'm fine," he nodded. "Just a long day."

"Did you lose a patient?" she asked, running a hand through his hair. "Have a hard surgery?"

"No," Derek sighed, resting his chin on her shoulder. "Mer, I'm…" he trailed off, wondering whether he should tell her about this. He wasn't even sure why he was freaking out.

"What?" she asked, looking at him closely. "You're okay, aren't you? Not like… freaking out?"

"Yeah," he sighed. "I'm definitely still excited for the babies. I'm just trying to figure everything out."

"What everything?" Meredith asked.

"Money," Derek sighed.

"Money?"

"Yes," Derek said. "Moving some stuff around, making sure everything's settled for them."

Meredith frowned as she slid out of his lap to lean against the desk. "Derek, I know we're not exactly rich," she said. "But we have enough money. And you'll earn more soon. We can do this."

"I know," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I just…we're going to be paying off the house for awhile, and I'm still getting a resident's salary, which is pretty substantial, but with you not working next year, I'm trying to figure out a way for us to have enough while saving for two college tuitions and paying off the house, not to mention our everyday expenses. Babies aren't exactly cheap, so I have to work things out."

"Derek…"

"And we have to figure out if we should start trust funds for them," he sighed. "I know it seems early, but we have to figure this out now so we can just…know. And if we start the funds right after they're born, the interest will be substantial by the time they have access to them."

"Derek."

"And then we have to decorate the nursery and buy cribs and high chairs and car seats. I don't want you to worry about this, Mer, because we can do this. We can, I just have to figure out where to move the money around, what accounts to open and when to open them."

"Well, I can help," Meredith said, reaching for some of the bank statements on the desk in front of her.

"No," Derek said. "It's fine, Mer, I can do this."

Meredith frowned as she looked down at him. "What do you mean, no?" she asked. "It's my money too, Derek. For our kids. We should take care of this together."

"I don't want you to worry about this," Derek said, reaching out to rub a hand over her stomach. "The only thing you need to think about is taking care of my babies."

Meredith was completely silent for a moment as she stared at him, and he swallowed hard as he knew he was in trouble. "Is that really what you think?" she asked.

"What?" Derek asked, treading carefully.

"That I can't help you with money because I have to take care of the babies?"

"Well….Mer, I can't very well take care of them myself," Derek said softly. "They're in you."

"I know that," she snapped. "But when they're born in six months will it also be my job to take care of them while you work and pay the bills? Seriously, Derek? You know how I feel about that."

"I do," he nodded. "And that's not what I think."

"Then why did you say that?" Meredith demanded. "Do you think I'm really that stupid?"

"No," Derek shook his head. "I don't. I just…you get to take care of them right now. You're keeping them warm and feeding them and helping them grow. I can't do any of that, so right now…this is the only way I can take care of them. By making sure that they can go to college without worrying about money like I was able to and ensuring that I can give them anything they want."

Meredith stared at him for a moment before she resumed her previous position on his lap. "Derek," she whispered. "It's not money that's bothering you is it?"

"What?" Derek frowned. "It is. Because for the next couple years it's going to be tight until I get an attending's salary…"

"Derek," she said, cupping his face in her hand. "Talk to me."

Derek sighed as he leaned into her touch. "I'm scared, Meredith," he whispered.

"Of what?" she asked, reaching for his hand and bringing it to her stomach.

"Being a dad."

"Derek, you're going to be an amazing father," she said. "I see how you are with Meg and Joey, and when I taught first grade…Derek, you love kids. And they love you."

"But those kids aren't mine," Derek sighed. "I don't…I don't know how to be a dad."

"Yes you do," she nodded. "You told me I'm already a good mom. And you're already a good dad."

"It's different," he breathed. "Because you're connected to them right now."

"You're connected to them," Meredith frowned. "Derek, they're your children."

"I know, but…you're the only one who's really connected to them," he whispered. "They're apart of you."

"Physically," Meredith nodded. "But these babies are as much apart of you as they are of me. They're your children, Derek, and you already love them so much. You're giving me everything I need, which means you're giving the babies everything they need. And I know that you have sonogram pictures in your wallet. And you're worrying about the nursery and providing for them. You haven't missed a single doctor's appointment, and you've made sure that every single craving has been fulfilled. You love these babies so much already, and that's all they need. They just need a daddy to love them."

"I do love them," he sighed. "So incredibly much."

"That's all they need," she said softly. "And I know babies can be expensive, but Derek, we're good savers. I know it would be easier if I worked next year, but…I really don't want to. And since we can do this on your salary for a year, I want to stay home with them. By the time I go back to work, they'll be fifteen months old, and it will be okay to leave them."

"I don't want you to work," Derek shook his head. "I wish I could take the year off."

Meredith smiled softly. "It will be okay, Derek," she murmured. "Do you feel better?"

"Yeah," he murmured. "Thanks."

Meredith examined him for a moment before she stated, "you're thinking about your dad."

"It's kind of hard not to," Derek said softly. "I always thought when I was a dad, I would be able to turn to him for advice."

"I'm sorry, Derek," Meredith whispered. "I know how much you relied on him for advice."

"I miss him," Derek sighed. "I always want to tell him about the babies. Or when we bought the cribs last week, or when we got our new pictures and Baby A was sucking on its thumb. Those are the things I want to talk to him about."

"Okay," Meredith said, jumping out of his lap and reaching for his hand. "Let's go."

"What?" Derek frowned as she pulled him towards the door.

"When was the last time you went to see your dad?"

"Um…I went to see him in October," Derek sighed. "Right after we found out."

"That was forever ago," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Do you have your wallet? With the pictures from last week?"

"Of course," Derek said, smiling at his wife as she slipped into her jacket. "Mer, we can't just go to the cemetery."

"Why not?" she asked. "He's your dad, Der. He deserves to know about his grandchildren."

"It's January," he sighed. "It's not good for you to be sitting on the ground in the cold."

"I feel fine," she waved him off. "It's not raining, and who knows when that will happen again."

"Mer, you really don't have to do this."

"For God's sake," Meredith rolled her eyes as she moved off the porch. "I'm going to go see Dad. If you want to come, come. If not, stay here and worry about money. It's your call."

Derek sighed as he followed her out to the car, knowing there wasn't a choice, not really. "Sorry Mer," he murmured as he started the car.

"For what?" she asked, looking at him with a smile playing on her lips.

"Nothing," he said, reaching for her hand. He definitely wasn't going to miss the mood swings.

"Okay," she said as she turned to look out the window, squeezing his hand tightly.

When they reached the cemetery, Derek reached for her hand again, squeezing tightly as they approached the secluded grave under a tree in the corner of the cemetery. "Hey Dad," Derek said, kneeling on the ground and pulling Meredith with him. "Sorry we haven't been in awhile."

"We've been busy," Meredith sighed. "Which I know isn't really an excuse, but…I think you'll like the reason."

"Mer's pregnant," Derek breathed, pulling his wife closer and running a hand over her stomach. "I'm going to be a dad."

"An amazing dad," Meredith giggled.

"We're having twins, Dad," Derek said, tears filling his eyes. "In six months, we're going to have two babies who are completely ours."

"It's too early to tell if they're boys or girls," Meredith continued. "But Derek has pictures."

"I do," Derek nodded, reaching into his pocket and pulling the sonogram pictures out of his pocket. "These are our babies. The ones who will carry on the Shepherd name."

"They're beautiful babies," Meredith whispered, taking the pictures from Derek's hand and settling them against the gravestone. "You should keep them. We've got tons of others. And a long time from now, maybe in the fall, we'll bring them to meet you."

"They'll know all about you," Derek said softly. "We'll all make sure they know how amazing their grandpa was."

"Derek," Meredith whispered, turning to him. "Can I have the keys?"

"Are you okay?" he frowned, handing her the keys.

"I'm fine," she said, pressing her lips against his cheek. "I just think you could use a couple minutes alone with him."

"Thanks," Derek said, squeezing her hand.

"Bye Daddy," Meredith murmured, pressing a kiss to her fingertips and pressing her fingers against Michael's name. "We'll come back soon so you can see me when I'm huge and fat."

"If she's not on bed rest," Derek laughed. "I'll be there in a minute, Mer."

"Take your time," she assured him, balancing herself on his shoulder as she stood and walked towards the car, rubbing her stomach carefully.

Derek inhaled deeply as he turned back to his father, staring at the words on the tombstone for a moment before he shook his head slightly. "I'm scared, Dad," he whispered. "I'm trying to be strong for Mer, and I'm excited to, but…God, I'm so scared. I've wanted to be a father for as long as I can remember, and as soon as I met Mer, I knew that I wanted to have her babies. But now that it's actually happening, I'm so scared. And it's two babies, not just one, which is even more terrifying. I always thought I would be able to get advice from you about this stuff, but now you're gone and I'm so scared."

"Mer's going to be an amazing mom. She already is. She walks around with this gorgeous smile on her face and she's constantly rubbing her belly. It's a beautiful belly, and my babies are so lucky to have such a safe home. She's going to be an incredible mom, and I just hope that I can be as good a parent as her. So if you could watch out for us, make sure that we do this right, it would really make me feel better about this whole thing. I know you've held my hand my entire life, and now it's time for me to take that responsibility for two other people, but…I still need you, Dad. I miss you so much, and I just hope that you can watch out for my kids. Be their guardian angel or something. Thanks, Dad. I'll be back soon, I promise. Until Mer's on bed rest, and then I'm not leaving her side. But…thanks. I love you."

He sighed as he stood up, letting the cold winter wind wash over his face for a moment before turning back to the car where his family was waiting for him.

"Hey," he said as he slid into the driver's side of the car, leaning closer to kiss Meredith gently.

"Hi," she smiled, her hand moving to his cheek. "You feel better?"

"Much," he nodded. "Thanks."

"Just doing my wifely duty or whatever," she shrugged.

"I love it when you're wifely," Derek said. "And I love that you know me better than I know myself."

Meredith smiled. "That's what I'm here for," she said.

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "So what do you want to do now?"

"Well…your babies seem to think it's a good time for dinner," Meredith grinned sweetly.

"It's three in the afternoon."

"So we'll have two dinners," Meredith shrugged. "Eating for three is not easy you know."

"And somehow you've managed just fine," Derek laughed. "Where are we going?"

"Margarita's," she said, referring to their favorite Mexican restaurant. "The babies want quesodillas."


	65. Chapter 65

"…And they can suck their thumbs now," Derek reported, looking up from his book, releasing an arm from around her as he turned the page, his eyes moving carefully over the words.

"Mmmhmm," Meredith sighed as she tried to roll out of his arms. For some reason the moment he had returned from work the day before, he had refused to let go of her for hours.

"Where are you going?" Derek frowned. "I'm reading about our babies. Big things are happening."

"I know," she murmured from her side of the bed. "But you don't need to hold me while you do that."

"Yes I do," he replied.

"Derek, I know you like holding me," she sighed, burying her face in the pillow. "I love it, I do. And so do the babies. But I'm hot. It's ridiculously hot in here and I need my own space right now."

"But the book says I need to hug you," Derek frowned. "It says you need to feel loved, so I need to hug you."

"I'm so regretting buying you that book," Meredith rolled her eyes, looking at the book for expectant fathers that hadn't left her husband's hands in the past week. She was actually beginning to wonder if he had people read it to him during surgery. He was obsessed.

"It says that you need to be hugged so you'll hug the babies," Derek argued. "So I'm hugging you."

"Seriously?" Meredith asked. "You think if you don't hug me I won't hug our babies? Seriously?"

"It's what the book says."

"If you don't stop looking at that damn book you won't be hugging me or anyone else ever again," she snapped.

"Fine," Derek rolled his eyes, closing the book. "Then I won't read it anymore. I'll just sit here."

"You don't want to know what's going on with our babies?" she asked, tears filling her eyes.

"You just told me to stop…" Derek inhaled deeply as he reached out to rub her belly, his hand making contact much before he thought it would. "Mer," he frowned, looking down at her stomach.

"What?" she snapped.

"Stand up."

Meredith rolled her eyes as she tried to sit up, frowning when she fell back against the pillows. "Help me up," she sighed.

"I think you popped," Derek breathed as he pulled her to her feet, her stomach much bigger than it had been the night before.

"Oh," Meredith frowned as she looked at the very swollen stomach. "I can't see my feet."

"Good job guys," Derek murmured as he pressed his lips to her stomach. "Now everyone will know you're in there."

"I'm only four months," Meredith whispered.

"With twins," Derek added. "Factor in how small you are…you popped early. They're making themselves known."

"They're getting big."

"They are," Derek smiled. "Can you feel them move?"

"No," she sighed. "I don't think so."

"Soon," Derek smiled. "Daddy's proud of you guys. You're growing well. And making Mommy look completely beautiful."

"Fat."

"Beautiful."

"Fat."

"Meredith," Derek laughed, standing to meet her eyes.

"Hmm?"

"Can I hug you now?"

"Oh," Meredith smiled, cuddling into his arms. "Definitely."

"Thanks," Derek smiled as he held her tightly. "I love you."

"We love you too."

Before Derek could respond, the doorbell rang loudly and Meredith pulled back to frown. "Who is that?" she asked.

"I don't know," he sighed, pulling out of her arms to move towards his dresser. "I'll go see."

"Okay," she sighed. "I'll get dressed and meet you down there. Hopefully before the babies are born."

"I'm sure it won't take that long," Derek laughed.

"Look at me," Meredith frowned. "I'm completely huge."

"I hate to break it to you, but you're going to get bigger."

"Shut up and answer the door," Meredith frowned. "And bring me some ice cream."

"It's nine in the morning," Derek pointed out.

"Are you seriously questioning me?" Meredith asked. "Because I could very easily convince these babies that fishing is a stupid waste of time."

"I'm going," Derek sighed, kissing her quickly before moving towards the door.

Meredith sighed as she reached into the back of her closet for the maternity clothes she'd bought a month ago. There was no way anything besides Derek's scrubs would fit her now, and she wasn't about to wear that if they had company.

"Derek!" she shouted down the stairs a few minutes later as she slowly made her way down the stairs.

"What's wrong?" he asked, immediately appearing at the bottom of the stairs.

"Just…balance," she sighed, resting a hand on her back. "It's weird."

"You do look like you swallowed a basketball," he smiled.

"Who's here?" she murmured, grasping his hand as he met her in the middle of the stairs.

"Mom," he sighed. "Apparently we haven't been keeping her up to date enough."

"Oh," Meredith frowned.

"It's okay," he laughed. "She just likes to yell at me."

Meredith sighed as she walked into the living room where Emma was sitting patiently on the couch. "Hi Mom," she said with a smile.

"Oh, Meredith," Emma smiled, standing to embrace her. "You look wonderful."

"Thanks," Meredith giggled, smoothing her hands over her shirt. "They made me pop."

"They're doing a very good job of growing," Emma smiled.

"Mer, you should sit," Derek said, tugging on her hand.

"I'm fine, Derek," she sighed.

"You need to sit or else your ankles will swell."

"I'm carrying two people inside of me," Meredith snapped. "My ankles are going to swell no matter what."

"Not if you sit."

Meredith opened her mouth to reply, but was cut off by Emma.

"Derek, why don't you go spend some time at the lake," she suggested. "I'm sure it's been awhile since you've been fishing."

"It's January, Mom."

"And I seem to recall a certain night in January a few years ago when your father had to convince you to come inside from that very spot," Emma said.

"Mer and I were broken up," Derek frowned. "I try not to think about those dark, horrible times."

"You'll be fine out there for an hour or so," Emma said. "Mark is on his way."

"But what about Mer?" Derek asked. "I can't leave her."

"Meredith is fine," Emma said. "I'll be with her. And even if I wouldn't, I know that she is more than capable of taking care of herself."

"I know that," Derek said. "But…I don't like being apart from her. Or our babies."

"Derek Christopher, I would like some time to visit with my daughter in law," Emma said firmly. "And we do not need you here hovering over us."

Derek frowned before he turned to Meredith. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"I'm fine," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Derek, seriously, go fish."

"If you need me…"

"I won't," she said. "I'm fine, Derek."

"Okay," he sighed, pulling her into his arms. "Be careful."

"I'm sitting here talking to your mother," Meredith said, pulling out of his arms. "It's not exactly strenuous work."

"I know," Derek sighed. "But I worry."

"We're fine," she promised, bringing his hand down to her stomach. "Now go."

"Fine," he said, pressing a kiss to the top of her stomach before standing and moving towards the door. "If you need me."

"We'll be fine, dear," Emma smiled. "Go catch us some dinner."

"Mer can't eat fish."

"Derek, seriously, go," Meredith groaned, leaning into the couch.

"Fine," Derek frowned, storming out of the house.

"Are you alright, dear?" Emma asked, turning to Meredith and smoothing a hand over her stomach.

"I'm fine," Meredith nodded. "Derek's just driving me crazy."

"Michael was the same way," Emma sighed. "I practically had to hide from him when I was pregnant with Kathleen. He was always there."

"It's because he cares," Meredith sighed. "I know that. And he's been amazing with taking care of me and the babies. But he goes overboard sometimes."

"He wants to make sure he's doing everything he can," Emma nodded. "Unfortunately he doesn't realize he's doing too much."

"I bought him that stupid book," Meredith sighed. "And it told him that the more he hugs me, the more I'll hug the babies. Which is completely stupid to begin with, but the idiot seemed to think that if he let go of me for one second I would never hold my children."

"Men will never fully understand pregnancy," Emma said. "They want to be involved, but it really is something that women go through. He just wants to make sure that he's doing everything he can to be a good father and husband."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "And that's why I can't tell him to back off."

"You can, dear," Emma nodded. "But that's enough about Derek. How are you feeling otherwise?"

"Good," Meredith smiled. "We got another ultrasound last week." She reached for a pile of pictures on the table. "This is both of them together. They were playing while we saw them, but they're not strong enough for me to feel them yet. And this is Baby A. He or she was sucking their thumb. This is Baby B. Derek thinks he's a girl because he was kicking Baby A, and apparently sisters are mean to their brothers."

"That does sound like my son," Emma laughed, examining the pictures closely. "They're beautiful babies."

"They're Shepherd babies," Meredith agreed, lifting her shirt and revealing her bare belly. "And they're huge."

"They'll get much bigger," Emma laughed. "When are you do?"

"We scheduled a C-section," Meredith sighed. "Apparently I'm too small to carry twins, but with bed rest in the last few weeks and a C-section instead of a natural delivery, it's going to be okay."

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Emma said. "And I'm very excited to meet my two newest grandchildren."

"We're excited too," Meredith giggled. "Derek insisted we have another sonogram next week just to find out the sexes."

"I'm sure you're not complaining about that," Emma said.

"Definitely not," Meredith said. "They need names. And the nursery needs to be set up."

Before Emma could reply, the back door opened and Derek walked in. "Okay, you didn't even have time to get to the lake," Meredith said.

"I forgot your ice cream," Derek replied.

"What?"

"Upstairs," Derek replied. "You asked me for ice cream and I forgot. I have to get your ice cream."

"Derek, I don't even want ice cream anymore," Meredith sighed. "And if I did, I would go get it myself."

"You need to relax," Derek insisted.

"Derek," Meredith said, pulling on his hand. "I'm in my second trimester. I'm healthy. The babies are healthy. I feel good, and if it weren't for this huge stomach, I probably wouldn't even feel pregnant."

"Are you sure?" Derek asked.

"What I'm sure of is that pretty soon you'll barely have time to fish anymore," she whispered. "You love fishing, Der. Go enjoy it."

"Fine," he said, kissing her softly before he turned back to the door.

"See what I mean?" Meredith asked, turning to Emma.

"That's Derek," Emma nodded. "Taking care of everyone he loves."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "But he's driving me insane."

"Talk to him," Emma suggested. "He's just as scared as you."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "I brought him to see Dad last week."

"I saw the pictures," Emma smiled. "I do wish Derek could take Michael's advice. He was a wonderful father."

"Derek is too," Meredith smiled, looking down at her stomach. "Right guys? You have the best daddy in the entire world."

Emma smiled at her daughter in law for a moment before she asked, "Are you hungry, dear?"

"Starving," Meredith replied.

"What would you like?"

"Um…pancakes?" Meredith requested.

"Of course," Emma nodded. "I'll make sure that you and the babies are well fed. I can't have my son thinking he can't leave your side for the next six months. Lord knows the boy needs that lesson."


	66. Chapter 66

"Derek."

A voice was saying his name and someone was shaking him, but he didn't want to wake up. His first solo surgery the day before had been completely long, and Meredith had come home complaining of swollen ankles, so he'd made her dinner and given her a long foot rub. But now he wanted to sleep, and he couldn't ignore his pregnant wife shaking him violently.

"Derek," she insisted, punching his shoulder. "Wake up. Right now, you have to wake up."

"What do you need?" he murmured without opening his eyes. "Tacos? Chocolate milk?"

"What?" she frowned. Or at least he thought she frowned. He still hadn't opened his eyes.

"Craving," he murmured. "I'll get you whatever you want. Unless it's chocolate covered pickles again."

"No," she cried, tugging on his hand. "I feel them."

"Feel what?"

"Your children."

"What?" Derek asked, suddenly wide awake as he sat up quickly. "Where? When? What's it feel like?"

"They woke me up," she said, moving his hand to the top of her stomach. "Do you feel that?"

"No," he frowned. "What's it feel like?"

"I don't know," she said, a soft smile on her face as she stared down at her belly. "It's… bubbly."

"Bubbly?"

"It's the only word I can think of," she giggled. "They're not kicking. It's kind of like they're…swimming or something. In my stomach."

"They're not strong enough for me to feel yet," he sighed. "I hate not feeling them. It's not fair."

"You'll feel soon," she promised.

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "I'll ask Dr. White later."

"She said you've been stalking her," Meredith giggled. "You're not exactly stealth, Der."

"It's not stalking when you have an appointment," Derek protested. "It was last on the list."

"It is when you slide a five page list of questions and concerns under the door of her office."

"She wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"She did one better," Meredith giggled, reaching into her dresser and pulling a pile of papers out. "And I can't believe you asked her for sex positions that are safe for the babies."

"I don't want to hurt them," Derek protested.

"Whatever," she sighed, getting out of bed.

"Where are you going?" Derek frowned.

"Getting ready," Meredith replied. "Our appointment's in an hour and a half. There's a reason I woke you up."

"Since you just felt my babies move, I'll forgive you for making an eight thirty doctor's appointment," he sighed.

"Stop being a baby," she giggled. "I made it early so I can be at work by third period classes."

"I still don't like that you're still working," he frowned as he followed her into the bathroom.

"I'm only four months," she shrugged around her toothbrush. "It's fine. I sit most of the time."

"Yes, the place where you got held hostage by a crazy girl with a gun," Derek said. "That's exactly where I want my wife and babies to go everyday. It scares me, Mer. I can't help it."

"I'm not going to be scared to go to school," Meredith shook her head. "The students are still scared, they don't need their teacher to be scared too. There's a lot more security now."

"You're right," he sighed, moving to turn on the shower. "Let's hurry so we can find out if our babies are boys or girls."

"Hmm," Meredith smiled, kissing him softly. "Make me breakfast and I'll love you forever?"

"And here I thought you had already promised me that," Derek laughed. "I guess that wasn't what our wedding was about."

"Just go," Meredith giggled.

"Love you," Derek called over his shoulder.

XXXXX

"You're sure you couldn't tell from the last sonogram and you just aren't telling me?" Meredith asked.

"How could I possibly hide something like this from you?" Derek asked with a frown. "Why would I?"

"You didn't tell me when you turned down chief resident," Meredith said softly without looking at him.

"That's…different," Derek sighed. "How mad are you? Am I sleeping on the couch now?"

"Not mad," she shook her head. "Just…curious. Addison told me yesterday. Why'd you do it?"

"I was going to tell you," he sighed. "But you were so tired yesterday, I didn't want to bring you down."

"You should have told me," she whispered. "Is it because of the babies?"

"Not in a bad way," Derek admitted. "It's because I want to be a good father. That won't happen if I'm here until midnight coordinating schedules."

Before Meredith could respond, a nurse called her name and she stood, clutching Derek's hand tightly.

"Alright, I see we're just here for a sonogram?" the nurse said with a smile.

"Yes," Meredith said as Derek helped her onto the table. "To find out the sex."

"Dr. White will be right in," the nurse smiled. "Good luck."

"Derek," Meredith breathed as soon as the door closed. "You can't give things up for us. You'll end up resenting us."

"No," Derek shook his head. "Head resident is too much. It's leading up to being chief of surgery which is something I'll never want."

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked.

"Positive," Derek nodded, kissing her softly. "I'd much rather stay home with you and the babies than deal with the hospital board."

"Okay," Meredith smiled. "Me too."

Dr. White interrupted their moment by walking into the room, smiling widely. "Hello, Shepherds," she smiled. "Big day."

"It is," Derek smiled, squeezing Meredith's had. "We're ready."

"Alright," Dr. White said, pushing Meredith's shirt over the bump to rest just under her breasts, pushing her pants down to under her belly so she could spread the gel. "Here we go."

Meredith squeezed Derek's hand as their babies appeared on the screen, and she heard her husband gasp as one baby appeared on the screen. "What?" she asked.

"That's our daughter, Mer," he whispered. "Baby A. Our baby girl."

"Oh my God," she whispered, tears filling her eyes as she stared at the baby on the screen. "Hi sweetheart."

"My little princess," Derek breathed.

"Here's Baby B," Dr. White smiled, moving the probe to the other side of Meredith's stomach. "Another healthy girl."

"Two girls?" Meredith whispered. "Oh, Derek, she's perfect. Hi sweetie."

"She is," Derek whispered. "My beautiful little butterfly."

"Butterfly?" Meredith giggled.

"Well, they can't both be my princess," Derek smiled, kissing her softly.

"You've been thinking about this," Meredith giggled.

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "Girls, Mer."

"Two perfect little girls," Dr. White interjected. "Meredith, has there been any pain? Bleeding? Contractions?"

"No," Meredith shook her head, her eyes still trained on the screen. "Oh," she breathed as she watched them roll together, their hands touching. "I felt that. Derek, I felt that, and I saw it."

"It's amazing," Derek murmured. "Look, Mer. They're holding hands."

"They're so beautiful," Meredith whispered. "My beautiful little girls."

"They're perfect," Derek agreed.

"Here are some pictures," Dr. White smiled. "As well as a DVD."

"DVD?" Meredith repeated.

"So you can watch whenever you want," Dr. White smiled. "Now I won't need to see you for another few months, when you're starting the third trimester. Unless there are any problems of course. But at that point we'll discuss whether bed rest is necessary and your birth plan."

"Okay," Meredith smiled.

"Thank you, Dr. White," Derek breathed.

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd," she smiled. "I'll leave you two alone."

"Girls," Meredith whispered. "Look at our baby girls."

"They need names," Derek said.

"We have to call Mom," Meredith breathed. "And get the nursery ready."

"Mer," Derek breathed. "Thank you."

"Thank you," Meredith breathed. "Derek, I never thought anyone would ever love me, let alone give me babies. So thank you. I love you so much."

"I love you too," Derek smiled. "All three of my girls."

XXXXX

"Stephanie," Meredith suggested around her spoon later that night, a baby name book open on her swollen stomach as Derek massaged her swollen feet.

"Maybe," Derek nodded. "Lauren."

"Leah."

"Laura."

"Elizabeth."

"Hmm," Derek said. "We'll put it on the short list. Sherri."

"Jocelyn."

"Hannah."

"Valerie."

"Katherine."

"Katherine Shepherd," Meredith breathed. "Katie. Definitely on the short list."

"Good," Derek smiled. "Karyn."

"Tanya."

"This is going to take us forever, isn't it?" Derek sighed.

"Not one name, but two," Meredith sighed.

"At least we won't have to choose between our two favorites," he pointed out.

"Very true," Meredith smiled, rubbing her stomach. "Who's that?" she asked as the doorbell rang.

"I don't know," he sighed "I'll go see."

"I'll keep looking up names," Meredith said. "Kelly?"

"Maybe," Derek laughed as he moved towards the front door.

Meredith giggled as she dug back into her ice cream, frowning when she heard Mark's panicking voice from the hallway, her husband's calming voice mixed in. She started to pull herself off the couch, stopping when Derek led Mark into the living room.

"What's going on?" she asked.

"Addison's pregnant," Derek murmured.

"So…why's Mark here?"

"Because she wants to raise the kid alone," Mark snapped.

"Apparently Mark had a ring," Derek explained. "But she thought he was proposing because he found the pregnancy test. Which he didn't even know existed."

"Oh," Meredith nodded, biting her lower lip for a moment. "Mark…do you want to be involved?"

"What the hell kind of question is that?" Mark snapped.

"Don't yell at her," Derek replied.

"Derek," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Mark?"

"Of course," Mark breathed. "Addie…she's everything. She's having my baby, and God I want to be there for her. For everything."

"So tell her," Meredith shrugged. "Keep marriage out of it. Bring it up later, when she knows that you really want to be here for her and the baby."

"And just think," Derek laughed. "If you have a son, he can marry one of my daughters. Emily."

"Definitely not," Meredith shook her head, wrapping a protective arm over her stomach. "Erin's not marrying a Sloan."

"Not Erin," Derek shook his head.

"You two are disgusting," Mark announced.

"Give it a couple months," Derek laughed. "You and Addison will be doing the same thing."

"I hope so," Mark breathed. "Shit, Shep, how did we end up like this?"

"We fell in love," Derek shrugged. "And now I have two little angels coming into the world."

"You're pathetic."

"Maybe," Derek smiled, bringing Meredith into his arms and rubbing her stomach. "But I've got the three prettiest girls in the entire world."


	67. Chapter 67

**Sorry for the lack of the updates this weekend. Memorial day turned out to be a lot busier than I thought, but I hope this was worth it!**

"Lex, no offense, but I really don't want to go anywhere," Meredith sighed as she followed her sister out of school. "Derek promised me a foot rub, and we're going to pick out paint colors for the nursery."

"I know," Lexie nodded. "But George is absolutely no help when it comes to decorating the apartment. And since Izzie moved back to Boston, you're the only one I've got to help me."

"Fine," Meredith sighed. "But only because you helped me convince Derek that he can't put a poster of the Clash in the girls' nursery."

"Yay," Lexie giggled, grabbing Meredith's arm. "Come on."

"I can't walk fast anymore," Meredith giggled slightly. "Two people in my stomach, Lex."

"Right," Lexie nodded. "My nieces. Who will get cake later."

"This is why you're the favorite aunt," Meredith nodded. "But don't tell Derek's sisters that."

"I won't," Lexie promised as they got into her car. "How have you been feeling?"

"Really good," Meredith nodded. "Big belly and swollen ankles, but other than that I feel perfectly normal."

"Derek says you can feel them," Lexie breathed.

"I can," Meredith smiled, running a hand over her ever expanding belly. "They're not strong enough for anyone else to feel, but it kind of feels like they're swimming or something in me."

"I bet Derek's driving you crazy," Lexie giggled as she pulled into her apartment parking lot.

"You have no idea," Meredith sighed as she pulled herself out of the car. "Apparently if he talks to my stomach constantly and never removes his hand from my stomach, they'll kick him sooner."

"He's going to be such an amazing dad."

"I know," Meredith smiled, looking down at her stomach. "They're the luckiest girls in the entire world."

"Okay," Lexie sighed as they reached her apartment door. "Just don't be mad."

"Mad?" Meredith frowned. "Why would I…" she trailed off as she stepped into the apartment, blinking in surprise at the large group of people that were gathered there, surrounded by streamers and presents and…pink. Lots and lots of pink. "What?"

"It's your baby shower, Mer," Lexie smiled. "We wanted to be sure we did it while you were still in the second trimester, but we waited until you found of the sexes."

"Congratulations, dear," Emma smiled as she stepped forward to hug a still shocked Meredith. "I'm so happy for you."

"Mer, do you feel okay?" Liz asked as she stepped forward. "Maybe you should sit down."

"I'm fine," Meredith smiled, reaching out to hug her. "Just…shock."

Before anyone else could reply, the door slammed open and Derek rushed in, his eyes immediately zeroing in on Meredith as he approached her, resting his hands on her belly.

"Mer," he breathed. "What's wrong? Lexie left me a message and said that I had to get over here right away for you. Are the girls okay?"

"They're fine," Meredith giggled, turning to look at her sisters and friends. "And we're having a baby shower."

"Baby…what?" Derek frowned, finally looking around the room.

"The first party for our girls," Meredith smiled, moving his hand to her stomach. "They'll get lots of presents."

"Oh," Derek smiled, looking down at her stomach. "You hear that, girls? You and Mommy are going to get spoiled today."

"Sorry we didn't tell you, Derbear," Caitlin giggled. "We knew you can't keep secrets, especially from Mer."

Derek frowned, but Meredith giggled as she patted his shoulder. "It's true," she nodded. "All I have to do is give you those eyes you love."

"That's…totally true," Derek sighed. "If my daughters inherit that, I'm doomed."

"Mark says you're already whipped," Addison laughed.

"Come sit, Mer," Kathleen said, guiding her to the armchair in the living room.

"I can't believe you guys did this," she sighed as Derek lowered himself onto the arm of the chair.

"We had to," Nancy said. "You're giving us more Shepherds."

"What…" Meredith sighed as she looked around the room. "I've never been to a baby shower before, so…what am I supposed to do?"

"You eat and open presents," Lexie laughed. "Oh, and we all took the liberty of suggesting names. We put them in a bowl, so it's more fun."

"Which would you like to do first, dear?" Emma asked.

"Names, definitely names," Meredith nodded, looking up at Derek.

"They need names," he nodded, taking the bowl from Liz. "You first, Mer."

She smiled as she looked down at the paper. "Alyse."

"Hmmm," Derek shook his head. "I don't think so." He reached in next. "Amanda."

Meredith didn't even respond as she reached into the bowl. "Andrea."

"Anna."

"Ashley."

"Becky."

Meredith paused as she ran a hand over her stomach. "Rebecca," she murmured. "Becky."

"Mer?"

"I love it," she said, looking up at him.

"I do too," Derek murmured, pressing a hand to her stomach.

"Should we…is that it?"

"Definitely," Derek nodded. "We're halfway there," he announced to the women in the room. "Rebecca Shepherd. Becky."

"Becky Shepherd," Caitlin smiled. "It's perfect."

"That was totally mine," Lexie giggled.

"Good job," Meredith nodded in approval.

"Mine's still in there!" Addison protested.

"Sorry," Meredith smiled, reaching into the bowl. "Caroline."

"Hmm," Derek sighed. "We'll keep it on the list."

"Thanks," Addison rolled her eyes.

"Picking names is hard," Meredith defended. "Wait until you have to do it."

"Oh, I already have names picked out," Addison said softly, running a hand over her flat stomach.

"What are they?" Meredith asked.

"Aaron for a boy," Addison said, pausing awkwardly. "And um…Melanie for a girl."

"Melanie," Meredith whispered, digging her hand into Derek's leg. "That's…amazing."

Addison looked at her for a moment. "You should take it," she said, reaching for Meredith's free hand.

"What?" Meredith frowned. "We can't do that."

"It's your name, Addie," Derek added.

"Melanie Shepherd sounds a lot better than Melanie Montgomery," Addison sighed. "Or Melanie Sloan. But Mark's convinced it's a boy anyways."

"Are you sure?" Meredith asked, biting her lower lip.

"Positive," Addison laughed. "It's obvious you want it."

"Thank you," Derek smiled before he turned to his wife. "Our daughters have names."

"Hmm," Meredith smiled. "Becky and Melanie. I think they like them."

"Are they moving?"

"A lot," she smiled. "Can you feel them?"

"No," he sighed. "Soon."

"Soon," she whispered, leaning up to kiss him.

"Okay, enough of that," Kathleen rolled her eyes. "Presents or food next, Mer?"

"Could we…maybe both?" she asked with a hopeful smile.

"Definitely," Nancy said. "That's the good thing about being pregnant."

"Lex, help me with the food," Addison requested, getting off the couch.

"We'll be right back," Lexie said. "You can start with someone else if you want."

"I'll start," Kathleen said, handing Derek a huge box.

"Kath," Meredith breathed. "What…"

"Just open it," she nodded. "You'll like it."

Derek helped Meredith tear off the paper and smiled as he opened the box. "Clothes," he said.

"All of Meg's," Kathleen nodded. "Obviously you'll want some new stuff for your girls, but this is enough to keep them both dressed for the first year or so."

"But what if you have another girl?" Meredith asked, reaching for a tiny flowered onesie.

"Then I'll take them back," Kathleen shrugged. "They've been sitting in our basement for seven years. Chris and I would rather have them be used, and we'd love for it to be our beautiful new nieces."

"Thanks," Derek smiled, kissing his sister's cheek.

"Anything for you, baby brother."

"I'll go next," Nancy said, pulling two baskets forward. "Diapers, baby wipes, and cleaning supplies. That's actually what you'll need most."

"Thanks, Nancy," Meredith laughed.

"There's a teddy bear in each basket too," Nancy added. "Now that they have names, I'll take them to get monogrammed."

"Me next," Liz said.

"And me!" Caitlin protested.

"Right," Liz nodded. "Now, we're poor students, so we went in on this together."

"Okay," Derek laughed, reaching to take the envelope from Caitlin.

"What is it?" Meredith asked.

"Gift certificates," Derek smiled. "Restaurants, movies, spas."

"It's so you can have time to be Derek and Meredith instead of just Mommy and Daddy," Caitlin explained.

"And whenever you want to use one of them, we'll watch the girls," Liz added. "We have to make sure they know what their daddy was like when he was younger."

"You cannot corrupt my daughters against me," Derek frowned.

"Derek," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Be nice."

"Here," Lexie laughed, handing Meredith a box. "It's not much, but…I thought it was a good idea."

"Books," Meredith breathed, flipping through the large box of children's books. "Wow, Lex."

"Now I have something to read to them so they'll know my voice," Derek grinned, flipping through a copy of The Giving Tree.

"Not happening," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"I just figured you'd want to start their love of reading early," Lexie smiled. "Although I'm sure they've already inherited that from you."

"Thanks," Meredith laughed as she reached for two large gift bags from Addison. "Oh," she breathed as she pulled out a soft purple blanket and a matching mint green one. "Addie…"

"They're Irish wool," Addison smiled. "Mark and I had them specially ordered. We know how much you two love Ireland, and the girls are half Irish, so it's fitting."

"They're amazing," Derek murmured. "Thanks, Addie."

"That just leaves me," Emma smiled, stepping into George and Lexie's room for a moment before she wheeled a faded white bassinet into the living room. "There's only one, but Nancy has informed me of the importance of co-bedding with twins."

"Mom," Derek breathed, grabbing Meredith's hand and leading her to look at the bassinet, filled with bibs, bottles, clothes, and toys. "It's perfect."

"It's yours," Emma said softly. "When you were born, your father insisted that we get an entirely new bassinet because the previous one was too girly. You're the only baby who has ever slept in it."

"Oh," Derek smiled, looking down at the wicker basket.

"It's perfect," Meredith whispered, wrapping her arms around Derek.

"I added a few things in that I thought you might need," Emma said, reaching into the basket. "And I have no idea if you want to give this to one or both of them, but I thought you might like it."

"Mr. Rory," Derek smiled, reaching for the frayed stuffed lion.

"Mr. Rory?" Meredith asked with a raised eyebrow.

"He was my security item," Derek frowned. "He came everywhere with me."

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled. "Are you going to leave it in there?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I don't want them fighting over him."

"Of course," Meredith nodded. "No one would want Mr. Rory to get hurt."

Derek ignored her as he turned back to his mother. "Mom, this is amazing," he breathed, leaning in to hug her. "Thank you. So much. Becky and Melanie are going to love it."

"Your father would be so proud of you," Emma whispered in her son's ear. "And he's going to look out for these girls. He'll be their guardian angel."

Derek blinked back tears as he pulled back, rubbing Meredith's stomach. "They're very lucky girls," he smiled.

"Thanks Mom," Meredith said, leaning forward to hug Emma as well. "This is…well, it's amazing."

"It's my Shepherd granddaughters," Emma said, reaching to stroke Meredith's belly quickly. "And I'd be happy to care for them whenever you would like me to."

"We'll take you up on that," Derek nodded. "Probably not for a long time, but when they're old enough…they'll spend a lot of time at Grandma's."

"You're their only grandparent," Meredith added. "And we know you'll love them enough for all four."

Emma squeezed Meredith's hand tightly for a moment before she asked, "Now who would like cake? I'm sure Becky and Melanie are quite hungry." She moved to the kitchen with Lexie while Meredith leaned into Derek, a hand on her stomach. Her babies had names, and she had the best friends in the world. Life was good.


	68. Chapter 68

Something was poking him in the stomach.

Derek groaned as he scooted closer to his wife, or as close as he could with her ever growing belly in between the two of them. He'd just gotten off a thirty six hour shift, and he needed sleep. He didn't need something poking him in the stomach while he was trying to sleep.

Meredith sighed loudly from beside him, and a moment later her stomach left his as he felt her roll onto her back.

"Come on, girls," he heard his wife murmur. "Mommy's trying to sleep. Please stop kicking."

Kicking. In his wife's stomach. His daughters were kicking in his wife's stomach, and suddenly sleep wasn't as important to him as he opened his eyes and reached for her belly. "Mer," he breathed.

"Derek?" she frowned. "I thought you were passed out. You were exhausted when you came home."

"I was," he smiled, running his hands over her stomach. "Until our daughters woke me up."

"Our daughters?" she frowned. "How…"

"Mer," Derek laughed as a particularly strong kick was delivered to his palm as it rested on her stomach.

"You felt that?" she breathed, tears coming to her eyes. "Derek…you felt her? Can you feel both of them?"

"I felt them," Derek smiled, moving his hand to the other side. "I can feel her too. I can feel both my babies."

"Here," Meredith said, grabbing his hand and moving it around her belly where there were even stronger kicks.

"Wow," Derek breathed, tears filling his eyes. "They're…really in there. My babies are in your stomach."

"They've been in there for five months," Meredith giggled. "That's why I look like I swallowed a beach ball."

"You look beautiful," Derek replied, pressing his lips against her stomach. "Daddy's proud of his girls. You're getting so strong."

"They're getting cramped," Meredith sighed. "They don't have a lot of room. It's going to get worse."

"Hmmm," Derek nodded. "We're halfway there."

"I know," Meredith sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Which is…insane. We have so much to do."

"I have the next two days off," Derek nodded. "We'll go shopping and get everything we need."

"Good," Meredith said, settling back into the pillows. "We need lots of stuff."

"Two of everything," Derek nodded.

"Cribs and highchairs and car seats, a changing table, a dresser…Derek, the list never stops."

"I know," he sighed, resting his head against her stomach. "We'll be fine, Mer. We've still got three months."

"Not if I'm put on bed rest," she sighed. "Which I almost definitely will. So we have to do it. Now."

"Mer, it's two in the morning."

"So?"

"So…no stores are open."

"We'll go online," she said, pulling back from him and pushing him out of bed. "Go get your laptop."

"But…sleep," Derek sighed.

"Sleep?" Meredith cried. "You want to sleep when our daughters have nothing?"

"They don't actually need anything right now."

"But they will," Meredith nodded. "We can't wait until they're born to buy this stuff."

"Well…no, of course not," Derek shook his head. "But it can wait five hours."

"No it can't," Meredith shook her head. "What if I go into pre term labor in an hour and we have no stuff?"

"What?" Derek asked, rushing to her side. "Are you okay? Dizzy? Pain? Cramping?"

"I'm fine," she rolled her eyes. "I'm making a point."

"Don't make points like that," Derek said with a frown. "It freaks me out."

"Fine," Meredith said. "Just go get the computer."

"Going," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair. Her mood swings hadn't been that bad, but when she got like this, he knew he just had to agree with her requests, even if every single bone in his body was just begging to cuddle in bed and think about their daughters. "Here we go," he sighed as he walked back into the room, plugging the computer into the wall.

"What?" Meredith frowned, looking up from her pregnancy book.

"The computer," Derek said. "You wanted to shop. For Becky and Mel."

"Oh," Meredith sighed. "We can do that in the morning."

Derek inhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a moment before he forced a smile onto his lips and set the computer on his night table. "Whatever you want, Mer," he said as he climbed back into bed.

"Hmm," Meredith sighed as she turned onto her side, her back facing Derek as she snuggled into his chest. "Do you think they'll be identical?" she whispered as he turned the light out and pulled her closer, smiling at the soft kicks that were delivered to his hand.

"I don't know," he sighed. "I kind of hope not."

"You do?" she asked, running her fingers along his forearm.

"I'll love them completely if they are," he nodded. "But…I don't know, I guess I just want them to be their own people. That will be so hard for them if they look exactly the same."

"They'll be happy, won't they?" she whispered. "They won't grow up to be dark and twisty?"

"I keep telling you that the dark and twisty isn't a flaw," he smiled. "It makes you you. And it makes you strong."

"But I don't want them to grow up like me," she murmured.

"They won't," Derek promised. "They have a father that loves them more than anything in the world, and will never walk away from his family. And their parents love each other and will never ever get divorced. Their mother…well, she's the most amazing mother in the world."

"Derek…" Meredith sighed.

"It's true," Derek whispered. "You're already an amazing mother. You're taking an entire year off of work to make sure our babies are cared for by a parent for the first fifteen months of their life."

"No nannies," Meredith whispered. "After I go back to work, when they're a year old… they can go to daycare at the hospital or stay with your mom, but we're not hiring nannies."

"No nannies," Derek nodded. "They'll love spending time with Grandma. Mom did it for Meg, and now she's doing it for Michael and Joey. She'll do it for Becky and Mel."

"Good," Meredith smiled.

"What do you think they'll look like?" Derek whispered, smiling as a hard kick met his palm.

"I don't know," she whispered. "Well, they should definitely have my nose."

"And your smile."

"Your eyes."

"Your giggle."

"Your hair."

"Maybe we do want them to be identical," Derek laughed.

"No," Meredith sighed. "I want them to be them. Not some weird version of the Olsen twins who do everything together."

"They might look the same, Mer, but we're never going to dress them the same, and they will definitely never talk in sync or do any of those weird twin things," Derek laughed.

"It might be funny when they pretend to be the other to confuse Mark and George," Meredith giggled.

"But they won't fool us," Derek said.

"We're they're parents."

"I can't wait," Derek whispered.

"Halfway," Meredith sighed.

"I'm scared, Mer."

"Scared?" she asked, struggling to turn onto her side to look at him, cupping his face in her hand. "Why are you scared?"

"I'm going to be a dad," he whispered. "Or…I am a dad, kind of. And I've never been happier, Mer, I swear to you. But there's still a part of me that has absolutely no idea what I'm doing."

"I know," Meredith whispered. "I feel the same way."

"But you know kids," Derek protested. "You have a degree in early childhood. You know what to expect."

"That doesn't mean I'm ready for it," Meredith whispered. "I know when a newborn will smile, that they'll smile for the first time around six weeks, that it's better for us to let them cry if they're fed, dry, and happy. I know every developmental milestone, but that doesn't mean I'm ready to help my own babies through it, to understand what it's like to watch something I've created go through all of that. We'll learn together, Derek, it's part of being a parent."

"Are you going to take childbirth classes?" Derek whispered.

"I…hadn't really thought of it," Meredith whispered. "Do you want me to?"

"It's up to you," Derek shrugged. "I mean, we already have the appointment for a C-section, which I'm entirely glad about. It would be way too much for you to give birth naturally, and I don't want you to be in that kind of pain."

"That makes two of us," Meredith smiled. "But maybe childbirth classes would be a good idea. They tell you how to swaddle, feed, take care of a newborn."

"I'd go with you," Derek sighed. "If you want to, but it's completely your decision."

"I'll think about it," Meredith promised.

"That's all I ask," Derek smiled.

"Can we go back to sleep now?" Meredith whispered.

"Of course," Derek smiled, leaning forward to kiss her forehead before kissing each side of her stomach. "Sleep time, girls. Mommy's tired."

XXXXX

Derek smiled softly as he settled onto his side of the bed later that morning, placing the tray of French Toast on his bedside table. His wife was completely beautiful as she slept, her hair falling in her face and her hand resting on the swell of her belly. He felt a sudden rush of emotion rush over him as he looked at her, still unable to believe that the most amazing woman in the world was carrying his babies, that she was keeping his daughters safe and warm until they were ready to come into the world and meet them.

"Mer," he whispered, leaning forward so his lips were against her ear. "Wake up."

"No," she muttered, curling into herself.

"Yes," Derek laughed. "I have French toast. With peanut butter, just like Mel and Becky like."

Meredith sighed as she looked up at him. "I hate you."

"You love me," Derek said. "I'm the father of your children."

"Give me my food."

"So romantic," Derek laughed, handing her the tray.

"Romantic?" Meredith asked as she spread the peanut butter of the French toast, then poured syrup over it.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Mer."

Meredith froze with her fork halfway to her mouth before she let it clatter to the plate, turning to look at him with wide eyes. "Derek," she breathed. "I completely forgot. My stupid pregnant brain is forgetting absolutely everything, and I don't have a Valentine's Day present for you even though you've been the most amazing husband ever."

"It's okay, Mer," Derek laughed. "You're giving me two babies. There's not much else I can ask."

"But…you've been amazing," she breathed.

"So have you," he nodded. "And I have a present for you."

"Where is it?" she asked, looking around the room.

"You'll have to come see it," he smiled. "Are you going to eat?"

"I want my present," she said, moving the tray to the night stand and getting out of bed. "Where is it?"

"Come here," he smiled, taking her hand and leading her into the hallway. "Close your eyes."

"Derek," Meredith protested.

"Meredith, please," Derek said softly.

"Fine," she said, squeezing his hand as she closed her eyes.

"Thank you," Derek said, kissing her cheek quickly before leading her forward. After a moment, he stopped walking and said, "Okay, open them."

Meredith opened her eyes, blinking in surprise as she found herself in the middle of the nursery, complete with furniture and decorations. "Derek," she whispered, blinking back tears.

"We can change anything you want," Derek said. "But I tried to do this the way you would want so you wouldn't have to worry about it."

Meredith looked around at the light green walls, smiling at the stencil paintings of butterflies, bunnies, and other animals. There were two white cribs, one on the wall beside the door, another on the wall perpendicular to it. Soft plush letters spelled out each of their daughters' names, one over each crib, and a padded rocking chair sat beneath the window. There was a changing table beside the closet, and a small dresser sat in the corner beside one of the cribs. A soft white carpet sat beneath their feet, and there were already teddy bears set in each crib. "It's perfect," she whispered.

"You really like it?" Derek asked.

"I love it," she sighed. "How…"

"I did it while you were at school," he smiled. "Mark and George helped, and so did Liz. I'm serious, Mer, if there's anything you don't like."

"No," she whispered, moving to sit in the rocking chair. "I love it."

"Good," Derek nodded, moving to kneel in front of her.

"But…pictures," Meredith said. "Of us and your mom and our friends…they need pictures in their cribs to know who their family is."

"We'll get pictures," Derek nodded, leaning forward to kiss her stomach. "This is your nursery, my beautiful little girls. It's all ready for you, when you get here."


	69. Chapter 69

"Rebecca Lauren," Meredith suggested as Derek rubbed her feet, gently massaging the swollen ankles.

"No," he shook his head. "Rebecca Stephanie."

"Rebecca Elizabeth," Meredith breathed.

"Rebecca Elizabeth Shepherd," Derek whispered, his hands stilling on her feet as he looked at her.

"Liz has been so amazing," Meredith murmured. "She's the sister I'm closest to, and I know you're not supposed to have favorites…"

"Liz is definitely my favorite sister," Derek nodded. "Rebecca Elizabeth Shepherd. She has a full name."

"She has a middle name," Meredith giggled as she reached for her water bottle and finished it off.

"Mel still needs one," Derek sighed, reaching for her stomach and rubbing it gently. "Melanie…"

"Hmm," Meredith nodded. "Melanie Emma?"

"After Mom," Derek said. "I like it."

"Rebecca Elizabeth Shepherd and Melanie Emma Shepherd," Meredith whispered. "Perfect."

"They're named," Derek breathed.

"They are," Meredith smiled.

"I'm so ready for them," Derek whispered. "I know there's still three months, but…I'm ready."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded. "Me too."

"You know what we should do this weekend?" Derek asked as she slid her feet out of his grasp.

"What?" she asked, moving off the couch and into the kitchen, needing more water. For some reason, she had been completely thirsty over the past few weeks, and drinking more water than she'd thought possible.

"Spend some time together."

"We spend all our time together, Derek," Meredith rolled her eyes as she sank onto a chair.

"No, I mean go somewhere," Derek said. "You're still feeling okay, we could get away, be husband and wife before we become Mommy and Daddy. It will be good for us, to have time to get away."

"I can't fly."

"We'll go somewhere close," Derek said, moving closer to rest his hands on her hips. "Come on, Mer, it would be fun. Just the two of us, somewhere completely naked. What do you say?"

"Derek…" Meredith breathed. "I don't…"

"If you don't want to, we don't have to," Derek sighed. "But…when is the next time we're going to be able to do this?"

"I don't know," she whispered. "I…let's do it." She nodded firmly. "Let's go away for the weekend."

"You're sure?" Derek frowned. "You don't seem excited about it. I want you to be excited."

"I am," she nodded. "You're right, we need time for us. Everything's set for the girls here, we might as well take advantage of this time. Pretty soon we'll be lucky if we can get to a movie."

"Good," Derek nodded. "Where do you want to go? Our options are somewhat limited, but wherever you want."

"Anywhere," she smiled, pulling him closer to rest her forehead against his. "It's not like we're going to leave our room."

"Oh," Derek laughed. "We do like pregnancy sex. Lots of fun positions to try again before the girls come."

"We love pregnancy sex," Meredith nodded, pressing her lips against his, smiling slightly.

"You'll come?" Derek whispered.

"Oh, I'll come," Meredith nodded. "I'll come many times. On you…beside you… under you."

"You'll lose count of how many times you come," Derek said, pulling her onto his lap and wrapping his arms around her.

"We could even start right now," Meredith murmured against his lips.

Before Derek could seal the deal, his cell phone rang loudly from the table and he reached around Meredith to pick it up.

"Ignore it," she murmured as she shifted slightly on his lap to kiss his neck.

"It's Mark," he replied, lifting the phone to his ear.

"Mark won't give you hot pregnant sex on the kitchen table," she murmured as she nibbled gently on his neck.

"He won't," Derek laughed. "But I'm worried about him and Addie."

"Hmm," Meredith murmured, gently tugging at the skin of his neck with her teeth, knowing that he was going to have a hickey but not caring.

"Mark," Derek said, tilting his head to the side and moving his hand to Meredith's waist to keep her pregnant body balanced on his lap. "Can I call you back, I'm a little busy… what? What do you mean, she's in the hospital?"

Meredith pulled back from Derek, frowning as she saw the complete horror that filled his eyes.

"We'll be right there," Derek said, gently pushing Meredith off his lap and dragging her towards the door. "Tell them to shotgun the tests…I don't care what she's saying, that's what I'm saying. We'll be there as soon as possible."

"Derek?" Meredith frowned as Derek practically shoved her into the passenger side of his car. "What's going on?"

"Mom," Derek breathed, reversing the car and speeding towards the road. "Apparently she fell in her garden."

"Is she…she's okay, isn't she?" Meredith breathed. Memories of Michael's death flashed through her mind, and she gently reached for his hand, placing it on her belly.

"Mark says she is," Derek sighed. "He was in the ER when they brought her in, but… there could be a clot they haven't caught, internal bleeding…I told him to run every test there is."

"She's awake?" Meredith whispered. "And she knows things?"

"Apparently," Derek sighed, his hand tightening over her stomach as he felt two strong kicks beneath his hand. "That was a strong kick," he breathed.

"They're trying to calm their daddy down," Meredith whispered.

"It's working," he breathed, pulling onto the ferry boat.

"Hmm," Meredith smiled. "They're playing right now."

"Playing?" Derek frowned, reaching his other hand to rest on her stomach.

"Kicking each other," she giggled. "Sometimes it feels like World War Three is going on inside of me."

Derek smiled slightly as he lifted her maternity top slightly, leaning down to rest his head against her stomach. "You girls have to be good for Mommy," he whispered. "Daddy needs her right now. And he needs both of you. So please be good for Mommy, and make sure you kick a lot for Daddy."

"Derek," she murmured, a hand buried in his hair. "We should…you need to drive."

"Oh," Derek breathed, pulling away from her and moving the car off the ferry boat.

"She'll be fine," Meredith whispered, running a hand over his shoulder gently.

"She has to be," Derek inhaled sharply. "She…she's my mom, Mer."

"I know," Meredith nodded. "She'll be fine, Derek. She's strong."

Derek breathed in deeply as he pulled into a parking spot in the hospital. "Mer," he breathed, turning to look at her with wide, terrified eyes. "I can't do this."

"Do what?" she frowned, bringing his hand to her belly.

"Watch my mom…she can't die."

"Oh, Derek," Meredith breathed, leaning forward. "I know I'm not a doctor, but…it sounds like they're just keeping her a precaution. It will be good for them to run the tests to make sure, but she's going to be fine."

"You have to help me," Derek whispered. "I need you to be there for me."

"I will be," she smiled, squeezing his hand. "All three of us will be. Right, girls?" she smiled down at her stomach. "We're here for Daddy. And Grandma." She turned her eyes up to Derek and leaned forward to kiss him. "Feel that? They're fighting over which one of them is there for Daddy more."

Derek took a deep breath before he nodded. "Let's go," he said, a small smile playing on his lips. "We have to do this."

"We're here for you," Meredith nodded as she met him on her side of the car, taking his hand as they walked towards the hospital.

Derek was completely silent as they made their way through the hospital, staring down at his feet. Meredith didn't miss the curious looks of doctors and nurses and the completely jealous way some of the younger females looked at her. According to Addison, Derek was the most popular doctor in the hospital by female staff and patients alike, but she'd never really experienced it before. She ran a hand over her stomach, smiling at the fact that she was carrying the children of the best looking surgeon in the hospital.

"Shep," Mark cried as he stepped out of a room in the ICU. "We just finished the testing."

"What's wrong?" Derek asked. "Is there a clot? An aneurysm? Internal bleeding?"

"She's okay," Mark sighed. "She's asking for you. She's a little bruised, but she'll be fine."

Derek gripped Meredith's hand as he walked into the room, tears filling his eyes at the sighed of his mother in the hospital bed, hooked up to several tubes. "Mom," he breathed, stepping into the room.

"Derek," she said softly, smiling at the couple in the doorway. "Meredith."

"Mom, what happened?" Derek asked, moving to the bed, kissing her cheek quickly before he settled on the chair beside her bed.

"I was just careless," Emma shrugged. "I tripped over a tree root, no big deal."

"Chris and Kath found you passed out in the front yard."

"They over reacted," Emma said. "It's completely silly for me to be here overnight. I didn't even need to come here in the first place."

"Now is not the time to be stubborn, Mom," Meredith said softly. "We were worried about you."

"I'm sorry I startled you, dear," Emma said softly. "But your only job right now is to make sure my grand daughters are taken care of."

"They're fine," Meredith smiled. "Becky Elizabeth and Melanie Emma are fine."

"Melanie Emma," she repeated, her eyes growing wide. "Oh, Derek…"

"We wanted to name her after you," Derek said softly. "So you can't…Melanie has to know who she's named off her. She and Becky need her grandma."

"I'm fine, Derek Christopher," Emma insisted. "I honestly don't need to be here."

"Can you do us a favor?" Meredith asked. "Just…take it easy? Because I'm five months pregnant. With twins. And my doctor told me to avoid stress, so I don't need to worry about my mother in law."

"The guilt card," Emma said with a smile. "Are you sure you're not Catholic?"

"I'm sure," Meredith giggled. "But we need you, Mom. Our girls need you."

There was a knock on the door and Mark poked his head in a moment later. "Emma," he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Has there been any pain in your abdomen? Trouble breathing?"

"A bit," Emma nodded. "But I told you, Mark, I'm fine."

Derek frowned as he looked up at his best friend, knowing there was something wrong. Mark had his bad news expression on his face. "Mark," he said. "What is it?"

"Looks like a fractured rib," Mark sighed. "No big deal, but you can't go full speed for awhile. Recovery may take longer with your age."

Emma frowned. "What do you mean?" she asked.

"He means you have to relax," Derek laughed slightly.

"Relax?"

"I know you're not familiar with the concept, Mother, but it means you get to rest, watch soaps, eat lots of ice cream."

"That's completely ridiculous," Emma frowned.

"It will be fun," Meredith giggled, resting a hand on her belly.

"Fun?" Emma raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "I'm supposed to be resting a lot too. I'll probably be put on bed rest before too long. We can keep each other company in our misery."

"You're in your fifth month," Emma stated. "Is everything okay with the girls?"

"Definitely," Meredith nodded. "It's just…I'm small and the girls are big, so they're going to completely take over my body before too long. You can come stay with us, and we'll let Derek spoil us."

"I can't ask you to do that," Emma shook her head.

"It will be fun," Meredith promised. "Please Mom? Otherwise it's just me and Derek. And he's an idiot, I don't want to be stuck with him all day."

"Thanks a lot," Derek frowned.

"Shut up, it's working," she muttered, elbowing him in the stomach.

"Are you sure?" Emma asked, looking between her son and daughter in law.

"Positive," Meredith nodded. "I'm still working, but we'll make sure someone's with you during the day. And at night we'll do stuff."

"Do stuff?" Emma asked with a small smile.

"Mother daughter stuff," Meredith nodded. "I never had that when I was growing up, and I need to learn because I'll have two daughters soon."

"Alright," Emma smiled. "But I will not be treated like a sick old lady."

"Never," Derek shook his head, wrapping his arm around Meredith.

"Alright, we're going to keep you over night," Mark said, scribbling in the chart hanging over the end of the bed. "But you can go home tomorrow."

"Thanks Mark," Meredith said.

"It's my job," he shrugged. "But don't blame me if Addie hears about your girls' pow wow. She's been complaining that she doesn't do enough girl things, so I can't be held accountable for what she's told."

Meredith giggled. "She should come," she said. "You too. You and Derek can spoil us."

Mark rolled his eyes. "I'm not whipped like your husband over there," he said.

"I'm not whipped," Derek frowned.

"Of course not," Mark smirked.

"Don't worry," Meredith smiled, leaning into Derek. "I love you anyways. And so do Becky and Mellie. They're Daddy's little girls already."


	70. Chapter 70

Meredith giggled as she walked into her living room a week later to find Emma laying on the couch, a soap opera playing on TV while an empty carton of ice cream sat on the table in front of her. "Hi Mom," she said as she collapsed into Derek's armchair, immediately pulling up the footrest and kicking off her shoes to relieve the pressure on her aching feet.

"Hello dear," Emma sighed. "How was your day? Nothing too stressful, I hope. You need to be careful."

"Long," Meredith sighed. "Lots of questions about why I was still teaching when I could barely stand because my legs were cramping so much. My students don't really understand pregnancy."

"Having twins must intensify every symptom," Emma sighed. "I hope it's not too painful for you."

"I'm fine," Meredith nodded. "How are you feeling? Are you breathing any better? Less soreness?"

"Alright," Emma said. "The medicines seem to be working. Although your husband has banned me from eating anymore ice cream."

"Oh, he does that to me too," Meredith nodded. "Watch this." She straightened in her chair, leaning towards the door as she shouted Derek's name into the hallway, the door to his office opening a moment later.

He appeared in the doorway a moment later, smiling widely as he laid eyes on his wife. "I didn't know you were home," he said, moving to kiss her gently and run a hand over her belly.

"Just got home a second ago," she shrugged.

"How are you feeling?" Derek asked.

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "Leg cramps."

"You need something?" Derek frowned. "Calcium helps with cramps. I can get you some milk."

"You know what else has calcium in it?" Meredith asked, smiling sweetly at him, holding his hand on her stomach."

"I'm guessing you're not going to say milk or cheese or anything normal people eat when they want more calcium."

"Ice cream."

"Mer…" Derek sighed. "You had ice cream this morning. Don't think I didn't see you pretending it was cereal. I'm not stupid."

"I'm not so sure about that," Meredith pouted. "And it's not what I want. It's what Mel and Becky want. Are you going to deny your daughters their one simple request before they're even born?"

Derek rolled his eyes as he stood. "You know you don't need to do that," he said. "I was going to get you the ice cream anyways."

"Thank you," Meredith called after him. She turned to Emma with a smile as soon as Derek left the room.

"That was very impressive," Emma said with a smile. "I'm glad my son is taking care of you."

"He definitely is," Meredith nodded. "Did he work on his article at all today? It's due tomorrow."

"I believe he said that I was more important than writing an article," Emma nodded. "But he'll get it done."

"You're not the one he'll keep up all night complaining about it," Meredith sighed. "He needs to stop procrastinating."

"I put that boy through twenty years of school," Emma laughed. "I've had my fair share of witnessing him complain about homework."

"Well now he's almost thirty," Meredith sighed. "He should be used to it. Plus, it's his job."

"One would think so," Emma nodded. "But I'm quite certain that men never fully understand the importance of time management. His father was the same way, always doing things at the last moment."

"Here we go," Derek sighed as he came in with two bowls of ice cream. "Ice cream for the two most beautiful Shepherd women."

"Two?" Meredith asked, running a hand along her stomach.

"Sorry," Derek laughed. "Four."

"Thank you," Meredith giggled, reaching eagerly for the ice cream.

"Now what else can I do to help out with girl time?" Derek asked.

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed. "Chocolate sauce."

"There's already sauce on your ice cream."

"Not enough."

"Fine," Derek sighed. "What else?"

"Liz lent us a bunch of movies, dear," Emma sighed. "Would you mind putting one in?"

"Which one?" Derek asked, looking at the pile of DVDs sitting on top of the television.

"Notting Hill!" Meredith cried as Derek held up the case. "Hugh Grant is definitely a cure for boredom."

"He is a rather handsome man," Emma nodded.

"This is disturbing," Derek rolled his eyes as he put the DVD in. "I'm going to go drink beer and watch the hockey game."

"Of course," Meredith giggled. "Go be a manly man."

"You'll have to get used to being outnumbered, dear," Emma laughed. "Your father found a way to do it."

Derek frowned. "I'll have a boy," he nodded. "Next time. Three boys."

"You better not be expecting me to carry triplets," Meredith said. "I'm already allowing two of your children to tear my body apart, you'll be lucky if I let it happen again."

"You will," Derek smiled, kissing her quickly before he glanced at his mom. "Do either of you need anything else?"

"I'm alright, dear," Emma nodded.

"I…" Meredith started. "I know you want to go be a man, but my legs…do you mind massaging them?" Meredith asked, biting her lower lip.

"Of course not," Derek said, sitting on the floor in front of her and gently kneading the muscles in her shins. "Just never tell Mark I watched this movie."

"Well, Mark can't exactly talk," Emma said. "I came home the other day to find him watching General Hospital."

"Seriously?" Derek asked.

"Oh yes," Emma nodded. "He tried to say that he was watching it for the medical knowledge, but I've watched that show enough times to know that the medical procedures are completely inaccurate."

"Mark watches General Hospital," Derek laughed. "This information can take me places."

Before Meredith could respond, the front door opened and closed, and a moment later Addison hurried into the room, giggling loudly as Mark entered behind her. "Look," Addison cried, holding her hand out to Meredith.

"Oh," Meredith gasped, looking at the large diamond resting on Addison's finger. "Addison…"

"We're engaged," Addison giggled. "We're getting married. Not until after the baby gets here, but…we're engaged."

"That's amazing," Meredith breathed. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Addison giggled before turning to Emma to show off the ring.

"Congrats, Mark," Derek said, standing and offering Mark a friendly handshake.

"She finally said yes," Mark grinned.

"That's great," Derek nodded.

"Listen," Mark said, pulling Derek to the side and speaking quietly. "She's driving me crazy. We've got to…I don't know, go to a strip club or something. Do something that men would do. Because at this rate O'Malley's going to have more balls than the two of us combined."

"Thanks for that disturbing picture," Derek rolled his eyes. "We can't leave them alone. Mom's ribs are still killing her, and even though Mer can still get around pretty well, her body's starting to move a little slower. We can't leave them to go to a strip club. As much as I would like to. Believe me."

Mark sighed as he looked at the three women, now gathered together on the couch and staring at Hugh Grant on the TV screen. "We can't stay here," he muttered. "Emasculating, Shep. That's what they're doing to us."

"I…" Derek sighed. "I have scotch."

"And internet," Mark nodded, grinning lewdly.

"Want to look up porn and tell the girls you're helping me with my article?"

"You get the scotch, I'll fire up the computer."

XXXXX

"You and Mark disappeared today," Meredith observed later that night as she rubbed lotion over her inflated belly.

"Oh," Derek nodded as he pulled a T-shirt over his head. "Yeah, um, he helped me finish my article."

"Ahh," Meredith nodded. "That's interesting."

"Why?" Derek asked.

"Well, he wants to specialize in plastics," Meredith said. "And I'm not a doctor or anything, but I didn't think your trial proposal had anything to do with skin grafts and boob jobs."

"Well…no," Derek fumbled. "But…he had some resources he thought I might use."

"Yeah, I saw some of those resources on your computer," Meredith giggled.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Next time you and Mark want to look at porn and jack off together without anyone knowing, make sure you close the internet window before anyone takes your computer," Meredith said.

"Okay, that's just…disturbing," Derek frowned. "Mark and I don't jack off together."

"Whatever," Meredith shrugged, pulling her shirt down over her stomach.

"Are you mad?" Derek asked, sliding into bed beside her.

"About the porn?" Meredith asked. "No, it's fine. I get that's what men do when they need to feel manly."

"Good," Derek nodded, trailing a hand over her swollen breasts. "You know you could help me out."

"Hmm," Meredith sighed. "Not tonight," she breathed. "Too tired."

"Okay," Derek nodded, kissing her softly. "I get it."

"Thanks," Meredith said, cuddling into him. "Mark and Addie are engaged."

"Our daughters are going to be amazing flower girls," Derek laughed.

"Who says they're going to be flower girls?" Meredith asked.

"Me."

"I'm pretty sure you have no control over the wedding," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"I'm the best man."

"And Mark had no control over our wedding," Meredith nodded. "Except for getting you drunk at your bachelor party."

"I wasn't drunk," Derek defended.

"Derek, I found you asleep in the hallway of our apartment the next morning because you couldn't figure out how to open the door."

"That was…being dramatic."

"It worked," she giggled.

Derek smiled as he ran a hand over her stomach. "Are they sleeping?"

"No," Meredith sighed. "Busy bees."

"That's good," Derek nodded.

"Not when Mommy needs to sleep," Meredith sighed.

"I have an idea," Derek whispered against her lips. "I'll be right back."

"Where are you going?" Meredith frowned, watching as Derek pulled on his robe and moved towards the door.

"You'll see," he promised.

Meredith frowned as she waited for her husband to return, her eyes widening when she saw the pile of picture books cradled in his arms. "Derek," she breathed.

"Mel and Becky need to know be well read babies," Derek smiled, setting the books on his nightstand as he climbed into bed and reached for the one on top.

"You're going to read to them?" Meredith asked.

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "We'll read them to sleep every night."

"Starting tonight?"

"Starting tonight," Derek nodded. "Now listen carefully girls. This is the first book Daddy will read to you, although there will be many more. It's called _Good night Moon."_

Meredith smiled as she watched Derek settle his head against her stomach, opening the small cardboard book. He was an amazing father, even though his children weren't born yet.

"Good night room," Derek murmured. "Good night moon. Good night cow jumping over the moon." He laughed slightly as he rubbed her stomach. "I'll tell you that story another time."

"Derek," Meredith smiled, running her hand through his hair.

"Good night light. And the red balloon. Good night bears. Good night chairs," he looked up from the book again as he smiled softly. "Your room is filled with bears," he murmured. "From Mommy and me and Grandma and Aunt Nancy."

"Hmmm," Meredith smiled, her eyes falling closed as she felt the girls in her stomach start to move less.

"Good night kittens, good night mittens. When you're old enough, I'm going to buy both of you a kitten."

Meredith's eyes were completely closed now, her breathing even. Her hand still rubbed lazily against her stomach as he felt soft kicks against the side of his face.

"Good night clocks and good night socks. Good night little house and good night little mouse. Good night comb and good night brush. Good night nobody, good night mush. Don't worry, girls, Daddy will never make you eat mush. Good night old lady, whispering hush. I think you're both asleep now, but you should hush anyways. Because Mommy needs her sleep. Good night stars, good night air, good night noises everywhere." He smiled softly, pressing a kiss to both sides of her stomach. "I love you both so much, Becky and Melanie. You're completely amazing, and I promise I'm going to keep you so safe and happy. I'm going to do my best to be the best daddy in the entire world." He moved closer to his wife to press a gentle kiss to Meredith's forehead, brushing her hair out of her eyes as he reached for her hand and linked their fingers together. "I love you, Mer," he whispered. "So incredibly much." He smiled softly as he settled down beside her, getting as close to his wife as her pregnant belly would allow. He was exhausted, completely exhausted from waiting on his mother and wife, but in that moment, as he held his wife close, their daughters in between them he wouldn't change anything about his life. This was perfection.


	71. Chapter 71

"Here's your pudding, Mer," Derek said, forcing a smile onto his lips as he carried a cup of chocolate pudding into the living room where she was seated on the couch with his mother.

"What?" she snapped.

"Chocolate pudding," Derek said, handing her the cup. Or trying to hand her the cup as she stared at him.

"I don't want pudding," she snapped. "Why would you think that? I really wish you weren't an idiot."

"You asked for it," Derek replied.

"Well I don't want it anymore," Meredith replied. "Why can't you just leave me alone for once?"

"I'm trying to take care of you."

"Well, you're just annoying me."

"Fine," Derek snapped. "I'll just leave you alone."

"Fine," Meredith crossed her arms over her belly, staring at the TV as it boasted some stupid soap opera.

Derek stared at her for a moment before he turned to his mother. "Do you need anything?" he asked.

"I'm just fine, Derek," she said. "I'll be home in a few days, you don't need to wait on me any longer."

"Okay," Derek nodded, his eyes on his pouting wife. "Fine. Since I'm not needed here, I'll be at the hospital."

"Derek," Emma sighed.

"Call me if anything happens," Derek said before pressing a kiss to his mother's cheek and walking out of the room. A moment later, the front door slammed closed behind him.

"Meredith," Emma said softly, looking at her daughter in law carefully as tears streamed down her face. "Are you alright?"

"Fine," Meredith whispered, wiping tears from her eyes as she stared at the TV in front of them.

"It's alright to talk to me, dear," Emma said softly.

"Mom," Meredith whimpered, turning to look at her mother in law with tear filled eyes. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Oh, darling," Emma smiled, pulling Meredith to rest against her shoulder, rocking her slightly in her arms. "It's alright. Let it out. Just let all the tears out, it's okay. You're alright."

"I don't know why I'm crying," Meredith sobbed. "I'm…my babies are healthy. I'm healthy, and Derek is being completely amazing. He's doing everything he can and being absolutely amazing, getting me anything I want. But I'm so horrible to him, even though I don't want to be."

"That's normal, dear," Emma smiled. "Your hormones are completely out of your control right now. I know exactly how you're feeling. I was pregnant five times, remember."

"You do?" Meredith whispered, looking up at her with wide eyes, looking more like a child than her pregnant daughter.

"I do," Emma nodded, smoothing hair back from Meredith's forehead. "When I was pregnant with Derek, I kicked Michael out of the house for two days. He was annoying me."

"Seriously?" Meredith giggled.

"I did," Emma laughed, a brief flash of pain filling her eyes. "He had changed Nancy's diaper wrong."

"So you kicked him out?"

"He spent two nights on the couch in the back of his store," Emma said. "Before I finally got back to normal and told him he could come home. But I wouldn't let him change a diaper until Derek was born."

"Oh," Meredith giggled.

"He handled it very well," Emma nodded. "Just like Derek is doing now. He's going to be a wonderful father."

"Derek misses him so much," Meredith whispered. "He thinks he won't be a good father without Michael here to guide him."

"I suppose I understand that fear," Emma sighed. "But he already is a good father. He loves those girls to death and they're not even born yet. And he's waiting on you hand and foot."

"That's what I keep telling him," Meredith said, reaching for her stomach and frowning slightly.

"Meredith?" Emma asked. "Is everything okay? You look a little pale. Is everything alright?"

"Yeah," Meredith sighed. "Just…hard kicks. And cramps. And I have to pee. Again."

"Get used to that," Emma said with a smile as Meredith pushed herself to her feet, standing still for a moment. "Meredith?"

"I can't…" Meredith breathed, stumbling slightly before she grabbed onto the edge of the couch. "I think I need to sit down."

"Here," Emma jumped to her feet, ignoring her own pain as she guided her daughter in law to sit back down on the couch. "Meredith. Are you okay?"

"I need to sit," Meredith murmured.

"You're sitting," Emma assured her. "What's wrong?"

"I can't see," Meredith sighed, leaning to lay down on the couch. "So…tired."

"Meredith," Emma gasped, tugging on her hand and pulling her to her feet. "We're taking you to the hospital."

"No," Meredith sighed, reaching out for balance. "Three…months."

"We need to go to the hospital," Emma said. "Just hold onto my arm, I won't let you walk into anything."

Meredith stumbled with Emma to the car, collapsing onto the seat as Emma hurried to the driver's side. "Meredith, dear, don't go to sleep," she said firmly. "I need you to stay awake."

"Nap," Meredith whispered, leaning against the window.

"No nap," Emma shook her head, stepping on the gas a little harder. "Tell me about the girls. Tell me about your babies."

"Babies?" Meredith asked. "Whose babies?"

Emma tried to swallow her panic, wondering what in the world had happened. Meredith had been fine only moments before, and now she was disoriented and dizzy, in pain and unaware of the fact that she was even pregnant. This was not right, not at all.

XXXXX

"Please, Mark," Derek begged as he sat behind the desk in the ER. "I need to cut."

"I'm not trading surgeries with you," Mark insisted. "Especially to sit in the pit."

"Mer and I had a fight," Derek said. "I need to cut, escape."

"What are you and Grey fighting about?" Mark asked. "I need to make sure to add it to my list of things not to do when Addie's at this point."

Before Derek could say anything else, the ER doors burst open and an intern stumbled in. "Dr. Shepherd, we've got a woman five months pregnant," he breathed. "Cramping and slight bleeding, she's dizzy and doesn't know what's going on."

"Alright, page Dr…." Derek's voice trailed off as he saw his biggest fear before him, Meredith on a stretcher, her eyes slightly glazed over as she looked around the ER. "Meredith!"

"Shit," Mark breathed, calling up for their doctor before he rushed to Meredith's side as well.

"Derek," Meredith gasped, reaching for his hand. "I…where am I?"

"You're at the hospital," Derek frowned, glancing up as he saw his mother enter the ER. "Mer, what's going on?"

"I…I remember pain," Meredith whispered. "In my stomach. I was in the living room and now I'm here…Oh, God, Derek, I'm not miscarrying, am I?"

"You're not miscarrying," Derek shook his head, trying to stay strong. "You…this might be pre term labor."

"I'm only twenty one weeks," Meredith gasped. "What…it can't be labor."

"It happens, Mer," Derek whispered, fear filling his eyes. "We're going to get you into a room and Dr. White will meet us there."

"Derek," she whispered. "The girls…"

"Mer," he said softly, leaning down so he was face to face with her. "They'll do everything they can to stop labor from occurring now."

"And if they can't?" she asked. "Are they strong enough to survive?"

The pain that filled Derek's eyes was enough of an answer for her, but she turned to Mark anyways. "Mark," she whispered. "Will our babies live?"

"They'll most likely be fine," Mark said, resting a hand on her shoulder. "Right now you need to stay calm so you don't have another dizzy spell."

"Derek," Meredith breathed. "Becky and Melanie. They can't…I love them."

"I know Mer," he whispered. "I love them too."

"They can't die," Meredith breathed, clutching her stomach. "They can't leave me."

"Just calm down," Derek said, swallowing his panic as he and Mark began to wheel her towards the elevators. He had to be strong for Meredith and not break down like he suddenly wanted to. Everything had to be okay.

XXXXX

"Alright, Meredith," Dr. White sighed half an hour later. "You gave us quite a scare there."

"Is everything okay?" Meredith asked, tears streaming down her face as she clutched Derek's hand tightly.

"Yes," Dr. White sighed. "You're not in labor, and sometimes your body is just overwhelmed with the stress of providing for three people."

"What does that mean?" Derek asked. "She still has three months left."

"I'm going to recommend as little stress as possible," Dr. White said as she began applying gel to Meredith's stomach. "I'm not putting you on bed rest yet, but I'm strongly going to recommend you stop working, or at least cut back on your hours significantly."

"I'm done," Meredith nodded. "I…what else?"

"Make sure you're getting enough to drink," Dr. White said. "It seems that dehydration may have played a role in your dizzy spell earlier. Your body is giving the water you retain to the babies first, so you've got to make sure you drink enough to keep you hydrated as well. Eat healthfully, and make sure you take your vitamins."

"Alright," Meredith nodded, her eyes trained on the screen as the babies appeared. "They're okay, right?" she whispered. "Derek? Becky and Melanie are okay?"

"Everything looks good, Mer," Derek nodded, staring at his daughters. "They're moving a lot, aren't they?"

Meredith smiled slightly as she watched one of her daughters gently kick the other on the screen. "I felt that," she breathed as one of the babies did a somersault.

"She's showing off," Derek breathed, relief filling his voice. "Making sure we both know they're completely okay."

"Baby B's just asleep, right?" Meredith asked. "I mean, sometimes one of them sleeps while the other one plays, but…she's just asleep, right?"

"Everything looks good," Dr. White nodded, turning off the machine and snapping her gloves off. "I'm going to want to see you every two weeks, Meredith. And make sure you call if there's any problems, from cramping to bleeding. Those babies have fourteen weeks until they're full term, so even though they may survive if they're born now. We want to keep them in there as long as possible, so make sure you encounter as little stress as possible."

"She will," Derek nodded, helping Meredith sit up.

"One more thing," Dr. White sighed. "No more strenuous exercise. I'm not sure if you've been doing yoga or pilates, but no more. And no more sex either."

"What?" Derek and Meredith asked together, causing Dr. White to smirk slightly.

"Orgasms can trigger labor," Dr. White explained. "Sex is normally okay until the third trimester, but in cases like this it's safer to avoid it completely."

"But…it's sex," Derek stated with a frown.

"Derek," Meredith hissed, slapping his arm. "Thank you, Dr. White."

"Be sure to call if anything changes," Dr. White nodded. "And make an appointment for two weeks."

"God, Meredith," Derek breathed, turning to her with wide, wet eyes. "Please, do not ever do that to me ever again."

"It's not like I actually chose to do that," Meredith sighed, running a hand over her stomach.

"You're sure you feel okay?" Derek asked, his hand joining hers.

"Yeah," Meredith sighed, leaning into him. "Derek, I'm sorry I'm a complete bitch right now."

"No," he said. "You're completely exhausted, I'm the one that's sorry. You're carrying my babies, I should be more understanding."

"Okay, well…maybe you have a point," Meredith giggled, reaching up to cup his cheek. "We're okay, Der."

"I know," he nodded. "Let's go tell Mom."

"Mom," Meredith breathed, clutching his arm as she stepped into her pants. "Is she okay?"

"Mark was taking her to get looked at," Derek sighed. "But she was pretty much healed, I'm sure she's fine."

"Good," Meredith nodded as she pulled her shirt over her head, leaning into him. "I'm sorry, Der."

"It's not your fault," Derek shook his head. "We're just going to be more careful for the next few months, that's all."

"No sex," Meredith sighed.

"No sex," Derek frowned. "Which is…how exactly am I supposed to look at that body and not touch?"

"I'll find other ways to help you out," Meredith giggled, kissing him softly. "I love you, Derek."

"I love you too," he breathed against her lips.

"Becky and Melanie love you too," Meredith said.

Derek smiled as he felt a swift kick delivered to his belly. "I love you too, girls," he whispered. "Don't ever scare Daddy like that again."

"Or Mommy."

"Or Mommy," Derek said, kneeling down and pressing his lips to her stomach as he ran his hands over it. "Maybe you didn't like that we were fighting. But don't worry, it won't happen again."

"It probably will," Meredith giggled. "Because Daddy's an idiot."

Derek rolled his eyes as he kissed her stomach again. "Mommy's lying now," he said. "But she's right, we will fight again. But we love each other a lot, so we'll always make up. You don't have to scare us like that. We love you too much, Melanie and Becky."


	72. Chapter 72

"Derek," Meredith giggled as she tried to scramble out of his view a week later. "Put the camera down."

"But I want pictures of you all cute and fat," Derek laughed, snapping a picture as she moved towards their bathroom.

"Excuse me?" Meredith asked, an eyebrow raised as she turned to look at him with her teacher face.

"I mean…I want pictures of my babies growing in your stomach, which is completely proportional to what one would think when having two babies inside of it," Derek nodded quickly.

"Nice save," Meredith rolled her eyes as she disappeared into the bathroom in their bedroom.

"Are you sure you're feeling okay?" Derek asked as he leaned against the doorway of the bathroom.

"I'm fine," Meredith nodded. "They're both asleep right now, so I can actually function."

"That's good," Derek smiled. "You hungry?"

"A little," she sighed as she washed her hands. "You're going to have to help me down the stairs."

"Always," Derek nodded, taking her hand and leading him towards the bedroom door. "Hang on."

"Seriously?" Meredith asked, crossing her arms over her chest as he snapped another picture of her.

"Could you try to smile?" Derek asked. "When we show these to Mel and Becky you might want them to think you were a little excited to have them. Just smile or… something."

"Of course I'm excited to have them," Meredith rolled her eyes. "But that doesn't mean I want to be photographed every minute of every day. I'm huge, Derek, I don't need to be reminded of this."

Before Derek could respond, the sound of the doorbell traveled to their bedroom. "Help me down the stairs so you can answer the door," Meredith ordered, following him into the hallway.

"Bossy," Derek muttered.

"I'd suggest not complaining right now," Meredith said as they slowly made their way down the stairs. "Your daughters are trying to kill me. Actually taking over my body and killing me."

"They're not trying to kill you," Derek rolled his eyes, wondering how he was going to get through the next three months. "Go get comfortable on the couch, I'll answer the door."

"Thank you," Meredith sighed as she walked down the hall, disappearing into the living room.

Derek ran a hand through his hair as he moved to the door, blinking in surprise as he laid eyes on a group of teenagers standing on the porch. "Can I help you?" he asked with a frown.

"This is where Mrs. Shepherd lives, right?" a girl in the front of the group asked with a wide smile.

"Yes," Derek said slowly. "Are you students?"

"Yeah," the girl nodded. "We were really disappointed to hear that she took her maternity leave early. We were going to have a party for her on her planned last day, so we figured we'd bring the party to her."

"Oh," Derek said, surprised with how dedicated his wife's students were to her. "That's really thoughtful, but I'm not sure."

"Derek, do you…" Meredith's voice trailed off as she made her way into the hallway, stopping when she saw her students file into the house, past a speechless Derek. "What are you guys doing here?" she asked.

"We wanted to say a proper goodbye," the girl said as she hugged Meredith closely, handing her a present.

"We have presents," another girl giggled.

"And cake," a guy added, holding up a cake.

"You're so getting A's for that," Meredith said. "Come in. I'm so glad to see you guys, I wish I hadn't had to leave."

Derek watched as his wife disappeared into the living room, surrounded by five teenagers. He hadn't been expecting this, but if that's what it took to make her snap out of her current mood swing, he would take it. As long as he made sure her blood pressure didn't go up.

"Oh, Derek," Meredith smiled, reaching for him happily as he walked into the room a moment later. "These are some of my top students. This is Ethan, Kelly, Kenny, Laura, and Al."

Derek smiled at the students as he sat down on the couch beside Meredith. "Do you need anything?" he asked.

"No, we're good," Meredith smiled. "Or…maybe some plates and forks for the cake? And a knife?"

"Of course," Derek said, kissing her cheek softly before moving to the kitchen for the requested items.

"Wow, Mrs. Shepherd," Kelly breathed. "Your husband is amazing."

"Hmm," Meredith smiled, leaning into the couch as she rubbed her stomach gently. "He has been pretty great."

"He's cute too," Laura giggled.

"Don't tell him that," Meredith rolled her eyes. "How's everything at school? Do you like your new teacher?"

"She's okay," Ethan shrugged. "She's not you."

"Is that a good or a bad thing?" Meredith asked, a sparkle in her eyes.

"Bad," Kenny nodded. "It's all…reading and writing papers."

"That's what school is," Meredith laughed.

"Not with you," Kelly sighed. "You make it fun."

"I'm glad you enjoyed my class," Meredith smiled. "I'm sorry I had to leave early."

"We get it," Al nodded. "It's important for you to do what's best for your babies."

"Here we are," Derek announced, walking into the living room with plates and knives. "Mer, are you okay here for a little while?"

"Yeah," she said, looking up at him. "Why?"

"Mark just called. He said Addie dragged him out to the baby store, and he picked up the car seats we had on layaway," Derek said. "I was going to pick them up from the hospital and get you that strawberry smoothie you were asking for earlier."

"Okay," Meredith smiled, reaching up to kiss him quickly. "I love you."

"Love you too," he smiled. He straightened and looked at the students. "Make sure she paces herself."

"Derek," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Sorry," Derek sighed. "I'm going."

"Tell Mark hi for us," Meredith called after him before she turned back to her students, smiling as she leaned into the couch and shoved a piece of cake into her mouth, excited to have an afternoon with her favorite students.

XXXXX

"I can't believe they did that," Meredith smiled later that night as she watched Derek change into his pajamas.

"You must have really made a good impression on their lives," Derek smiled, stopping to kiss her forehead before moving towards the bathroom. "I'm proud of you, Mer. It's not easy to make a good impression on teenagers."

"I can't…" Meredith smiled as she leaned back into the pillows. "I can't believe that they love me that much."

"You're an amazing teacher, Mer," Derek said around his toothbrush. "God, I would have killed for a teacher like you in high school."

"You're just saying that because you would have wanted a hot teacher," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Not that I'm hot anymore."

"Trust me you are," Derek laughed as he moved back into the room and slid into bed beside her. "And if it wasn't banned, I would show you exactly how hot you are."

Meredith smiled as she cuddled into him. "You really think I'm a good teacher?" she asked.

"You are," Derek nodded, running a hand through her hair. "I've watched you with your students. They adore you, Mer. And your lesson plans are fun, they're not boring like most teachers think are beneficial."

"I miss it," Meredith sighed, resting her head against his chest. "I mean, it's totally worth it because the girls need me to stop now, but I miss teaching."

"I know," Derek sighed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Maybe you can work something out for after the girls are born."

"I'm not going back to work," Meredith shook her head firmly. "They need to have their parents there for them the first year."

"I know," Derek nodded. "But maybe you can look into tutoring a couple afternoons a week or something. That way you can still help some of your students, even if it's not in the same capacity you are right now."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded. "It's something to think about."

Derek was silent for a moment before he whispered, "I talked to your mom when I stopped by the hospital today."

Meredith tensed into his arms for a moment before she asked, "Why?"

"I had to talk to her about paternity leave."

"Oh," Meredith said. "What did she say?"

"I get six weeks off," Derek murmured. "I'm going to take the week before your surgery off too, so she's giving me seven weeks."

"Seven weeks," Meredith nodded. "That's…good."

"She asked about you," Derek whispered.

"What did you say?"

"I told her she should call you if she wanted to know how you were," Derek said. "I did tell her about the girls."

"Why?" Meredith frowned.

"They're her grand daughters, Mer," Derek sighed.

"Derek, I invited her to our wedding," Meredith breathed. "Her daughter's wedding. And she gave another surgeon the day off so she could take over his surgery and have an excuse not to come. If she couldn't even come to her daughter's wedding, what makes you think that she'll even want to be a grand mother?"

"I'm not saying she does," Derek sighed. "But she deserves to know."

"If I had wanted her to know, then I would have called her when we found out," Meredith snapped. "Derek, I can't believe you did this."

"Mer, calm down," Derek said, reaching out for her. "You can't get stressed, high blood pressure's not good for the girls."

"Don't touch me," Meredith snapped. "Derek, you know how I feel about her."

"I know, Mer, but I couldn't just not answer her questions," Derek sighed. "She's my boss."

Meredith stared at him for a moment before she sighed and leaned back against the pillows. "I know," she sighed. "Derek, I just…I don't want our girls to know her. I know that sounds horrible, but if you knew what I went through growing up, you'd understand why I don't want any other child to come into contact with that women, especially my own babies."

"Mer, I know you had a horrible childhood," Derek whispered, pulling her into his arms. "And I hate that. I also know that I'll never fully understand the way you felt unwanted until college. But I promise you, even if you do let your mother see our girls, they will not be miserable like you were. Mer, they are going to have so much love. And we will never leave them with her, which I doubt she'll ever want."

"She didn't want me, Derek," Meredith whispered. "I…I found her diaries once when I was going through her den in the old house. She said that right out, that she didn't want me. She didn't even hold me when I was born."

"Oh Mer," Derek sighed, pulling her into his arms. "I'm so sorry."

"I just don't understand," Meredith sobbed. "Because here I am, pregnant with twins, and there's nothing I want more than to hold my girls, to love them and play with them and never let them go."

"I know, Mer," Derek whispered. "You're an amazing mother."

"She doesn't even love me," Meredith whispered. "She completely cut me out of their lives. Why should I let her meet my children?"

"You don't have to," Derek replied. "Mer, we don't have to do anything with our girls that we don't want to."

"I want to be a good mother," Meredith whispered. "I don't want her to ruin the amazing time that we're about to go through."

"That's totally fine," Derek whispered. "I wasn't trying to tell you what to do, Mer. I just thought you should know that she knows about the girls."

Meredith was silent as she let her fingers trail over the fabric of his t-shirt for a moment. "I'm sorry I've been a raging bitch lately," she whispered.

"You haven't been a raging bitch," Derek laughed.

"Really?" Meredith asked, looking up at him.

"Maybe a calm bitch," Derek laughed.

"Shut up," she rolled her eyes.

"I know you're not used to taking it easy," Derek said, trailing his fingers down his arm. "You have such a passion for life, it's not easy to just stop completely."

"Definitely not," Meredith sighed.

"You should start a new hobby," Derek suggested.

"Like what?" Meredith asked.

"Cooking," Derek smirked. "Maybe cleaning."

"You're mean."

"I'm kidding," Derek said, pulling her closer. "I'm just saying, we've still got two months. You have plenty of time to start a new hobby."

"I used to knit," she whispered.

"You used to knit?" Derek asked, looking down at her.

"When we were…when I was with Andrew," she whispered. "It was completely and totally awful, and knitting made me miss you less. Or I hoped it would."

"I take it it didn't help," Derek said.

"Not really," she sighed, looking up at him. "I still ended up missing you completely and hating whenever he touched me. My classroom got a lot of new blankets for the reading corner though."

"Well, you'll never have to knit to stop missing me again," Derek said, kissing the top of her head. "So you can take it up to distract you from being pregnant."

"I could make something for the girls," she murmured, running a hand over her stomach.

"They seem very excited about that," Derek laughed as he ran a hand over her stomach. "Right girls? Mommy will make you both a blanket so you'll be nice and warm when we bring you home from the hospital."


	73. Chapter 73

Meredith sighed as the doorbell rang through the house. Derek wasn't home, and she was completely not looking forward to getting off the couch and putting more pressure on her aching back.

"Come in!" she shouted, hoping whoever was there would hear her and not make her get up.

"Meredith?" Liz's voice called from the foyer. "Is Derek home? Where are you? I have a crisis."

"He's not here, Liz," Meredith called. "I'd get up but your nieces are sending piercing pains through by back."

"Right," Liz said as she walked into the room, her eyes rimmed with red as she sat down on the couch beside her.

"Liz, what's wrong?" Meredith asked, shifting slightly and pulling her ice pack out from under her back.

"I…" Liz inhaled sharply as she looked at Meredith. "What were the signs?" she asked softly.

"Signs?" Meredith frowned.

"How did you know you were pregnant?" Liz whispered, causing Meredith's spoon to clatter into her bowl of ice cream.

"Liz…" Meredith breathed.

"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I don't know what to do. I can't…my mom is going to kill me, and the sisters would all tell her. You're the only person I wasn't completely terrified to tell."

"Okay," Meredith sighed, rubbing her stomach softly. "Are you late? Sick? Can you fit into your bras?"

"I had some spotting," Liz whispered, looking down at her hands. "But it wasn't even enough for a tampon."

"Your boobs?"

"Completely sore," Liz whispered. "And I slept at Mom's last night, so she made me eggs this morning, which made me completely sick. I told her I was going to the doctor, but I came here."

"Oh, Liz," Meredith sighed. "It sounds like you are pregnant. Don't worry, I'll help you through this."

"I know," Liz whispered, tears filling her eyes. "Meredith, I don't know what to do about this."

"Does Shawn know?" Meredith asked.

"He broke up with me," Liz whispered. "I can't…If I tell him, he's going to take responsibility, but I don't want him to be with me because I'm pregnant. He doesn't love me."

Meredith sighed deeply before she reached for her cell phone. "Okay," she sighed. "I'm going to call Addison and ask her to pick up some tests and run them out here so we'll know."

"You're not mad?" Liz whispered.

"Of course not," Meredith shook her head as she held the phone to her ear. "This could just as easily have been Derek and I. We're going to figure this out, and then I'll help you tell Derek and the rest of the family."

"Okay," Liz whispered.

"Let me just talk to Addison, then we can eat ice cream and commiserate," Meredith said. "And pump water into you so you'll have to pee when she gets here. Don't worry, I'll take care of you."

XXXXX

"Okay, I'm here," Addison called, walking into the house, a hand resting on her baby bump. "I have pregnancy tests and double chocolate cheesecake, every pregnant woman's craving."

"Thank God," Liz said, jumping off the couch and grabbing the bag out of Addison's hand before rushing towards the bathroom.

"So she's pregnant too?" Addison asked, collapsing onto the couch beside Meredith.

"I think so," Meredith sighed.

"Poor girl."

"Read my mind."

"How are you feeling?"

"Like I swallowed a beach ball," Meredith sighed. "And the babies never sleep at the same time, so there's pretty much constant movement in my stomach."

"I'm so glad I only have one baby," Addison sighed. "At least he sleeps sometimes."

"He?" Meredith asked, looking down at Addison's stomach.

"We found out yesterday," Addison giggled.

"Well, Mark and Derek are going to be completely obnoxious about this," Meredith sighed.

"I think Mark's excited for the wedding of our children than he is for our own," Addison rolled her eyes.

Before Meredith could reply, Liz came back into the room, collapsing into Derek's armchair with tears in her eyes.

"Positive?" Meredith asked.

"Two lines," Liz sighed. "What the hell am I going to do?"

"First," Meredith said. "We're going to dig into this amazing cheesecake and cry over soap operas."

"What?" Liz frowned. "How is that going to help anything?"

"It's what we do," Addison nodded, handing Liz a piece of cheesecake. "Welcome to the world of pregnancy."

"But what about telling people?" Liz asked.

"We'll worry about that later," Meredith nodded. "I promise. But first you need to let this settle in."

"Fine," Liz sighed, digging into the cheesecake and looking at the TV. "I've never actually watched soap operas before."

"You don't need to," Meredith shook her head. "They're all the same."

"Someone's pregnant, but not with her husband's baby," Addison nodded. "Someone's getting divorced, and someone's trying to kill someone else. You'll catch on."

"Okay," Liz sighed.

Meredith wasn't sure how long the three of them sat there watching soap operas, but after an unspecified amount of time, the front door opened and Derek's voice called through the house. "Mer, I'm home! I'm glad you've got some company."

Liz sat up straight and stared at Meredith with wide, panicking eyes.

"Shh," Meredith shook her head. "He doesn't have to know today."

"Hey Addie, Liz," Derek smiled as he walked into the living room. "Mer, I know you're bored," he said with a smile. "But I don't think you need to be taking pregnancy tests. We know our girls are in there."

Liz's face paled even more, and she looked closely at Meredith.

"Don't make fun of me," Meredith laughed. "I'm completely bored. There's only so much knitting a girl can do, and the tests were just sitting there."

"How much did you do today?" Derek asked with a laugh.

"I finished Becky's blanket," Meredith sighed. "And started Melanie's."

"Well, you were busy," he laughed. "How are you doing, Addie? Mark told me about your son."

Addison smiled softly. "Yeah," she said. "We're very excited."

"How are you doing, Lizzie?" Derek asked with a smile, turning to his sister.

"It's mine," Liz blurted out.

"What's yours?" Derek asked.

"The pregnancy test," she whispered.

The room was completely silent for a moment before Derek stood, staring down at his sister with dark eyes. "You're pregnant?" he asked.

"I'm sorry, Derek," Liz whispered.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Derek shouted. "Liz, you're in med school!"

"I know," Liz whispered, looking down at her hands.

"Who is it?" Derek asked.

"What?" Liz asked.

"Who did this to you?"

"No one did this to me," Liz shook her head. "We…it was one time. We forgot one time."

"Who?" Derek shouted.

"It was Shawn," Liz whispered.

Derek nodded, his mouth set in a straight line as he stared down at her, arms crossed over his chest. "Where the hell is that son of a bitch?" he asked.

"We broke up," Liz said.

"You broke up," Derek repeated. "What are you going to do, Liz? Raise this baby by yourself? Live off of Mom?"

"I don't know," Liz cried. "I don't know, Derek, I just found this out. I came here and Meredith helped me…"

"You knew about this?" Derek asked, turning to Meredith with anger flashing in his eyes.

"I'm going to go," Addison said softly, slipping out of the room. "Liz…call me later, okay?"

Liz nodded silently, not looking up from her lap as tears streamed down her face.

"Meredith," Derek snapped. "You knew about this and you didn't tell me?"

"Okay, yelling is not going to help this," Meredith replied, wincing slightly as she got to her feet. "Derek, your sister needs you right now."

"I don't have time to deal with her," Derek snapped. "Our daughters are on the way, Meredith. I'm trying to work and make sure you don't overwork yourself. The last thing I need is to worry about my baby sister being pregnant."

"Well, you don't have a choice," Meredith said. "She's your sister, Derek, and she's completely traumatized. She needs her big brother right now, and you will not talk about her like she's not in the room."

"You're okay with this?" Derek asked in disbelief.

"I don't understand why you're not," Meredith said. "Derek, we're going to have another niece or nephew."

Derek sighed as he looked at his sister. "You can stay here until you get things straightened out," he murmured. "The guest room at the end of the hall is yours."

"Thank you, Derbear," Liz breathed, looking up at him.

"I need to talk to my wife," Derek said flatly.

Liz nodded, tears streaming down her face as she stood and moved towards the room.

"Liz," Meredith breathed, pulling her sister close and wrapping her in a tight hug. "Congratulations."

"Oh," Liz breathed, sinking into Meredith's embrace.

"You're going to be a wonderful mother," Meredith said, pulling back and running a hand over her own stomach. "And in a few months you can practice on our babies."

"Thank you," Liz whispered, looking at Derek for a moment before she turned and walked out of the room.

"What the hell was that?" Derek snapped.

"I think the better question is what the hell is wrong with you?" Meredith replied. "Honestly, Derek, that's your sister. She needs you right now."

"She's pregnant, Meredith."

"I know," Meredith nodded. "She's an adult, Derek, she can take care of herself. She's terrified right now, but she needs you to support her."

"Meredith, she's a baby."

"She's my age, Derek," Meredith pointed out. "If she's too young to have a baby, then so am I."

"That's not the point."

"Well, then enlighten me," Meredith said, crossing her arms over her swollen stomach. "Because I'm completely unaware of what the problem is."

"She's my sister, Mer," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I don't want her to do this alone."

"So you're making her feel like complete crap because she made a mistake?" Meredith demanded. "She needs you to be there for her."

"I can't raise her baby, Meredith."

"I now that," she rolled her eyes. "But you remember how miserable I was when I was first pregnant, don't you?"

"Of course," Derek nodded.

"Do you think someone I cared about more than anything in the world screaming at me would have made me feel any better at all?" Meredith demanded.

"I…" Derek started with a frown. "I just don't want her to do this."

"She doesn't have much of a choice," Meredith replied. "You're the one with a choice."

"Me?" Derek asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "You can be a selfish, stubborn idiot who doesn't care about what his sister needs. Or you can man up and be the man I married who's there for his sister when she's terrified, even if he's disappointed in her."

"I can't do this, Mer," Derek whispered. "I have too much going on."

"And I don't?" Meredith snapped. "I know I'm not working anymore and I'm not some hot shot fancy doctor, but believe it or not, growing your babies is just a little exhausting. I'm supposed to be avoiding stress, and getting into screaming fights with my husband isn't exactly recommended behavior."

"I'm sorry, Mer," Derek sighed.

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," she snapped, storming out of the room and moving towards the freezer for a fresh ice pack.

"You're okay, right?" Derek asked, moving closer to her and running a hand over her stomach. "Becky and Mellie are okay?"

"They're fine," she nodded. "You need to go talk to your sister."

"I know," he sighed. He paused for a moment as he looked at her closely. "Are you mad?"

"This isn't about me," Meredith rolled her eyes. "This is about you pulling your head out of your ass long enough to realize that your family needs you."

"You're my family, Mer."

"So is Liz," Meredith nodded. "And right now, she needs you more than we do. So go make everything right with her. We'll be waiting when you're done."


	74. Chapter 74

"Are you seriously still not talking to me?" Derek asked as he leaned against the doorframe of the kitchen a week later.

"I'm talking to you," Meredith nodded, not looking up from the grilled cheese sandwich on the stove in front of her.

"I got home an hour ago and you haven't even looked at me," Derek sighed, running a hand through his hair.

"I'm busy," she shrugged. "I'm feeding your children. They're completely sucking up anything I eat."

"That's the fifth grilled cheese you've eaten since I've gotten home," Derek observed as she poured ketchup over the sandwich.

"Are you saying I'm eating a lot?" she demanded, turning to look at him with raised eyebrows.

Crap. "No," Derek shook his head quickly. "I'm just wondering how many sandwiches you're going to make before you start talking to me. Because you have to do so eventually."

"I am talking to you."

"Arguing doesn't count."

"Funny," Meredith rolled her eyes. "You seem to like arguing. It's all you've been doing."

"Is this still about Liz?" Derek asked with a groan. "I thought we were over that, it's been a week."

"Still about Liz?" Meredith repeated. "Derek, she's your sister. And she's pregnant. And now she thinks you hate her."

"I don't hate her," Derek snapped. "I'm letting her stay in my house since she's refusing to tell Mom."

"Our house," Meredith argued. "And that means nothing. She needs her big brother, not a room."

"She doesn't have anywhere else to go," Derek said. "It's something. She needs to live somewhere."

"She's terrified to tell your mother!" Meredith cried. "She wants help from her big brother."

"I am helping."

"I've got news for you, Derek Christopher," Meredith snapped. "Locking your pregnant sister away in the corner of our house is not helping anyone, especially her. Or your pregnant wife."

"I can't force her to tell Mom."

"Yes you can!" Meredith replied. "Derek, you are the glue that holds this family together. Everyone turns to you when they need someone because we all know you can handle it. Liz turned to you when she needed help, and you brushed her aside like she meant nothing."

"She didn't turn to me, she turned to you," Derek replied, collapsing into a kitchen chair and running a hand through his hair.

"What?" Meredith asked with a frown.

"When I tried to talk to her the other day," Derek sighed. "She said she needed you. She would never have come here if it was just me."

"Oh," Meredith said, blinking in surprise.

"So I'm not letting her down," Derek said. "She asked me to give her space. And I'm giving her space."

"Derek," Meredith sighed, moving closer to him. "I'm sorry if I've been putting pressure on you. But I think she needs you to push her. If she doesn't have your support, there's no way she'll be able to tell your mom. She needs to know that her big brother is okay with this. She looks up to you, Derek, and she's never disappointed you before. This is killing her."

"She wants you," Derek shook his head.

"She wants me because I was in her place four months ago," Meredith whispered. "She needs me to tell her it's normal to think you're going to throw up so much that all of your internal organs will come up. She needs me to hold her hand during the sonogram appointments and reassure her that every little symptom is normal. She needs you for everything else, Derek. She needs you to reassure her that this doesn't change who she is, that she still has a place in this family."

"I'm sorry," Derek whispered, tentatively reaching for her hand. "I just…I'm in over my head with this, Mer."

"Think of it as practice," Meredith giggled. "For when the girls are dating."

"No dating until they're thirty," Derek shook his head. "No, make it forty."

"I don't think they'll like that," Meredith smiled, standing on tip toes to kiss him gently. "Should we both go talk to her?"

"Sounds good," Derek nodded, taking her hand and leading her towards the stairs. Before she made it up the first three steps, the front door burst open and Mark stormed in.

"Where is she?" he demanded.

"What?" Derek asked.

"Lizzie," Mark replied. "Addison just told me."

"Mark, she's fine," Derek sighed. "We've got it under control."

"The hell you do," Mark frowned. "I'm going to buy a gun."

"What?" Derek and Meredith asked together.

"I've got to hunt this Shawn jackass down," Mark ranted. "I'll need your help, Shep."

"You're not buying a gun," Derek rolled his eyes. "We don't need this right now, Mark, Liz is upset enough."

"She should be upset, that bastard screwed her over."

"Mark, can you please just let me take care of this?" Derek snapped. "Once she's accepted this, then we can think about Shawn."

"You're just going to let her go through this by herself?"

"She doesn't have much of a choice!" Derek replied. "She won't even tell Mom!"

"Derek," Meredith said, reaching out to grasp the banister as another hand went to her stomach.

"You have to force her to tell your mom!" Mark said. "Otherwise she'll never do it."

"She's scared right now, she needs time."

"That's rich, coming from the guy who called me ranting at midnight about how upset he was that his sister was completely irresponsible."

"Derek," Meredith breathed, moving to lean against the wall.

"I got over it," Derek shouted at Mark. "Yes, I'm disappointed, but she's still my sister. I'm going to help her take responsibility."

"Stop it!" a voice shouted from the stairs and Derek and Mark both turned to see Liz standing in the middle of the staircase. "Stop arguing over me like I can't make my own decisions!" she cried. "I'm pregnant, not brain dead. I can take care of myself and this baby."

"Liz," Derek sighed. "We're just trying to make sure you're taken care of."

"Derek," Meredith said firmly from the corner of the stairs, and he rolled his eyes as he turned to look at her.

"Mer, I really don't need a lecture…" his eyes widened as he saw her leaning heavily against the wall, clutching her stomach tightly. "What's wrong?" he asked as he rushed to her side.

All the anger in the foyer rushed out of the room as Mark and Liz rushed to her side as well.

"I think I'm having contractions," Meredith breathed, clutching Derek's hand tightly.

"Real contractions?" Derek breathed. "Or Braxton Hicks?"

"I don't know, Derek," she snapped. "I've never had contractions before."

"Well…how long are they?"

"I think that was the first one," Meredith breathed, shifting her weight to him. "Derek, I'm only six months. They can't…"

"It's probably just Braxton Hicks," Derek said, trying to remain calm. "But we're going to take you in just in case."

"I was supposed to avoid stress," Meredith whispered, tears gathering in her eyes. "The yelling…"

Derek's eyes filled with guilt as he met Mark's eyes over Meredith's head. "I'm sorry, Mer," he murmured.

"I'm sure everything's fine, Grey," Mark nodded, reaching for her other arm to help her to the car. "Shep's right though, we'll just take you in to get checked over. There's no hurt in seeing your kids anyways."

"Derek," Meredith whimpered.

"It's okay, Mer," he nodded. "Mark can drive, I'll sit in the back with you in case there's more pain."

"The girls," Meredith whispered. "They have to be okay."

"I'm sure they're fine," Derek said, kissing her forehead as he settled her into the back seat, trying to swallow his own fear. He would never forgive himself if his fight with Mark had caused problems for his wife and daughters.

XXXXX

"Derek, you don't have to carry me," Meredith sighed as he opened the front door a couple hours later.

"You're officially on bed rest now, Mer," Derek said as he made his way carefully up the stairs. "I'm not taking anymore chances."

"Derek," she sighed as he settled her into their bed. "You don't need to feel guilty. Dr. White said the fight didn't have anything to do with the contractions."

"I know," he nodded. "I'm going to get a TV up here so you can watch movies," he nodded. "I'll set up a DVD player next to the bed so you don't have to move to change movies."

"You don't have to do that."

"And I'll clear out the romance novel section of the bookstore."

"I hate romance novels."

"And Mark will come out every day with the newest magazines," Derek said. "I can't get off work yet, but I'm going to make sure that someone's always here."

"Derek," Meredith breathed, reaching for her hand. "This is going to be a really long couple months. I really don't want you freaking out until we go to the hospital."

"I know," he sighed. "I just… I know you, Mer, and you're going to get bored."

"Of course I'm going to be bored," Meredith sighed, leaning back into her pillows. "I'm already bored."

"It's what's best for the girls," Derek said softly.

"I know," she nodded. "But you don't need to go overboard, Derek. You can bring me my knitting, and my friends will come over to keep me company when you're not here. And if you really want to, you can bring a TV up here. But I'm just going to relax, get ready for the babies to be born. That's what I'm supposed to be doing, right?"

"Of course," Derek sighed. "Maybe I'll call Mom and see if she'll mind staying here until the girls are born."

"She doesn't need to do that," Meredith shook her head. "She has a life, Derek, she can't just give it up for two and a half months."

"She's dealing with Liz right now," Derek sighed. "But once that's straightened out, I'm sure she'll be willing to come out here and spend some time with you."

"Derek, I'm fine."

"She was on bed rest with Caitlin," Derek said, reaching out to run a hand through her hair. "She'll know good ways to occupy yourself."

"Okay," Meredith sighed.

"I'm so sorry, Mer," Derek whispered, leaning into her.

"For what?" Meredith frowned, looking down at him as he lifted her shirt and pressed his lips against her belly.

"I was supposed to make sure nothing happened to you," Derek whispered. "And now you're on bed rest."

"Derek, this isn't your fault," Meredith frowned, running a hand through his hair.

"It is," he nodded, running his hands over her stomach. "Daddy's so sorry, girls. He loves you so much, and he's so sorry he scared you."

"Derek," Meredith breathed as she felt a tear fall onto her stomach. "I was going to end up on bed rest eventually anyways."

"But this is my fault," he breathed, inhaling sharply before he sat up, pulling her shirt back over her stomach. "Are you hungry? I'll make you anything you want."

"No," Meredith shook her head, grabbing his hand to pull him back towards the bed as he started to stand. "You're not walking away, Derek."

"I'm not walking away," he shook his head. "You need to eat."

"No, I need to make sure you know that none of this is your fault," she said. "I know we haven't exactly been ourselves lately, and I'm sorry if I've been short with you since we found out about Liz. But I love you, Derek, more than anything in the world. And there's no way I'm letting you blame yourself for me going on bed rest."

"Fine," Derek sighed. "It's not my fault."

"And now you're avoiding," she frowned. "That's my thing, not yours."

"I'm not avoiding, Mer," Derek shook his head. "I just need to take care of you. I didn't before, and I need to do it now."

"Derek," Meredith sighed, pulling him closer and pressing his hands against her stomach. "You feel that?" she asked as he felt several strong kicks against his palm.

"Yeah," he smiled softly, leaning down to kiss her stomach.

"Those are your daughters," Meredith whispered.

"I know that, Mer," he laughed slightly.

"They're big and strong," Meredith whispered. "Because of you. Every single craving, every meal I've wanted at two in the morning, you've provided it for me. And they are going to be so smart when they're born because their daddy reads to them every single night. They love you already, Derek."

"They're not even born," Derek sighed.

"They're not," Meredith agreed. "But Derek, you know something I've never told you?"

"What?" he asked.

"When you're not here," she whispered. "At work or whatever, and the girls are still. Or relatively still, because I'm convinced that they never sleep at the same time. But that's not the point. The point is that when you come home and say hi to them, they immediately start kicking like crazy."

"Really?" Derek whispered, a small smile playing on his lips.

"Why do you think they're always kicking like soccer players?" Meredith whispered. "They know your voice, Derek. They love you."

"Oh," Derek breathed, leaning down to kiss both sides of her stomach. "I love you too, my beautiful little girls."

"You take care of us, Derek," Meredith whispered. "I would never have gotten to this point without you."

Derek sighed as he moved up to rest his head against Meredith's chest, allowing her to rock him gently and run her fingers through his hair. He loved her completely, and he had to make sure that nothing else went wrong with this pregnancy. Otherwise he would never forgive himself.


	75. Chapter 75

"I heard the second most beautiful pregnant woman in the world is craving tacos and quesadillas," Mark announced as he walked into Derek and Meredith's bedroom a week later.

"Oh thank God," Meredith giggled, reaching eagerly for the bag of take out that he was holding.

"Shep got pulled into to an emergency surgery," Mark sighed as he sat down in the chair beside the bed. "Apparently it's good practice for me to take care of you, since Addie will be in your place in a couple months."

Meredith giggled as she bit into a taco, reaching for the soda Mark had placed on the nightstand. "It's only true practice if it's two in the morning and you have to drive an hour there and back to the nearest Taco Bell," she said. "I thought he was going to kill me."

"Yeah, Shep said something about that too," Mark laughed. "How are you feeling today?"

"Completely and totally bored," Meredith sighed. "Derek…he gets to go be a surgeon and do exciting things and…go downstairs. And I'm stuck up here with baby sitter after baby sitter."

"We're not baby sitting," Mark laughed. "But no one wants you left alone. We worry about you."

"I know," Meredith said as she shoved more taco meat into her mouth. "They want me to do this for another ten weeks."

"I know it sounds like forever," Mark sighed. "And Shep's trying like hell to get his pat leave early."

"What?" Meredith asked, looking up quickly. "Why? He needs to put more hours in before the girls come."

"You're on best rest, Grey," Mark rolled his eyes. "You really think that whipped husband of yours is able to concentrate on surgery? He's constantly worrying about you."

"But…he can't take ten weeks off," Meredith frowned. "He's a resident, he'll fall behind."

"That doesn't matter to him," Mark shrugged. "And God knows that if Addie ends up in this position, I'd be doing the same thing."

Meredith bit her lower lip as she stared down at the half eaten quesadilla in her lap. "It would be really nice to have him here," she sighed. She looked at Mark for a moment before she asked, "Why can't he just take the time off? If he wants to, he should be able to."

"Apparently the chief's giving him a hard time about it," Mark sighed. "Don't tell him I told you that."

Meredith narrowed her eyes. "What the hell is she doing now?" she asked. "Did she say something?"

"She says that if he wants to stay in the program he won't let this distract him from surgery," Mark said.

"What?" Meredith yelled, sitting up in bed. "Seriously? Who the hell does she think she is?"

"Calm down, Grey," Mark breathed, reaching out to push her back into the pillows. "Shep will have my ass if your blood pressure spikes. I'm supposed to be distracting you."

"She thinks she can…seriously?" Meredith asked. "Seriously? Isn't there some kind of law or something that says when a man's wife is sick and exiled to bed he can take time off of work?"

"There is," Mark nodded. "But apparently if Shep takes it, he won't be allowed back to the residency at Seattle Grace."

"What?" Meredith shouted again, starting to swing her legs over the bed and preparing to get out of bed.

"Oh, for God's sake, get back in bed," Mark rolled his eyes. "There's not much anyone can do about this, Grey. She's the chief of surgery, no one else has as much power as her."

"She's purposefully putting Derek on more shifts because she knows I'm sick," Meredith said. "That stupid bitch."

"Look, pretty soon he's going to go onto pat leave and until then we've got plenty of people keeping you company," Mark nodded. "Hell, some of your students even called Derek and told them they would come visit."

"No," Meredith shook her head. "Get me the phone. Derek left it on the dresser when he left."

"What?" Mark frowned.

"Get me the phone," Meredith sighed. "I've got to tell that bitch how it's going to be with Derek."

"Meredith, I don't think…"

"I swear to God, Mark, if you don't get me the phone I'll get out of bed and get it myself," Meredith snapped. "And after I'm finished talking to the woman who gave birth to me, the woman who makes me angrier than anyone I've ever met, I'll take all that anger out on you. And don't think because I'm a million months pregnant I won't be able to kick your ass."

"Right," Mark nodded, moving to the dresser and reaching for the phone.

"Thank you," Meredith snapped, grabbing the phone out of his hand and holding it up to her ear. "Dr. Grey please…I don't care if she's in a board meeting, this is her daughter and it's important…I know she's running a hospital, but I swear if you don't put her on the phone right now I will sue your damn hospital for malpractice for the time my mother in law was released with an unnoticed broken rib."

"Emma never…" Mark stopped talking when Meredith turned to stare at him with flashing eyes.

"Thank you," she said into the phone.

"What the hell are you doing?" Mark asked when Meredith leaned into the pillows, waiting to be placed off of hold.

"Getting my husband the time off he deserves," Meredith replied. "Mother," she said. "I don't care. Why the hell are you making my husband's life a living hell? He's a good man and he's bending over backwards to make sure that this pregnancy is as easy as possible for you and doesn't need to deal with a horrible boss on top of worrying about me and our babies…I know that you hate me and wish that I had never been born but what the hell have I done to you in the past two years that makes you want to lose my babies…I'm not being dramatic, I'm supposed to be avoiding stress, but this is definitely not avoiding stress. So if you have any human bones in your body, you would just give Derek the time off he needs. For your grand daughters. Thank you…Fine. Good bye."

She slammed the phone into the bed and collapsed against the pillows, hot tears stinging her eyes.

"You okay?" Mark asked hesitantly, leaning forward to squeeze her hand gently. "You have to breathe, Meredith."

"I know," she sighed. "Just…God, Mark, why can't she leave me alone?"

"Hell if I knew," Mark sighed. "Addie made me call my parents about the baby and the wedding."

Meredith looked at him closely for a moment. "You don't talk to your parents?" she whispered.

"Hell, I all but moved in with the Shepherds," Mark said. "You know that."

"Yeah," Meredith nodded. "I guess I never really thought about where your parents are."

"They kicked me out when I was twelve," Mark shrugged. "Said if I loved the Shepherds so much I should move in with them. So I did."

"Oh," Meredith breathed.

"People like our parents should never have had kids," Mark said softly.

"No," Meredith sighed. "They shouldn't have. But Derek says he's glad they did."

"Shep would be completely lost without the two of us," Mark laughed.

"He really would be," she giggled. "It's kind of scary."

"You wonder how you're going to be a good parent when your own parents barely even knew you existed?" Mark asked.

"Yeah," Meredith breathed.

"I completely freaked out when Addie told me she was pregnant," Mark nodded. "You know my earliest memory is when I was five. I was so excited to go to school, and my mom actually took me to the store to get a new backpack. She bought me a Superman backpack, with a matching lunch box. Thing probably didn't cost more than ten dollars, but when we got home, my dad was drunk. He beat my mom around for buying it without telling him, and then told me that I was a baby for wanting a lunch box like that."

Meredith stared at him as she blinked back tears. "I'm so sorry, Mark," she whispered.

"I met Derek the next day," Mark said, smiling softly. "Emma picked him up at school, and when she noticed I didn't have a back pack, she gave me Derek's from pre school. And then she took me home and realized that no one was there to take care of me, she took me home. And from there on out, I had two wonderful parents, a brother to wrestle with, and four annoying sisters. Or, at that time three. Caitie wasn't around yet."

"I'm glad they took you in," Meredith smiled. "They're amazing."

"They are," Mark nodded. "But now that I'm going to be a dad…"

"You're afraid you're going to be like your real parents," Meredith nodded.

"I'll never hurt Addie," Mark said firmly. "I watched my dad smack my mom around too much for that. I love her too much to ever lay a hand on her. But I can't help being afraid that when I'm a dad, I'll be more like my own dad."

"I know what you mean," Meredith sighed. "I'm terrified of ending up like my mom. But Derek says I already love my girls more than my mom ever loved me."

"That much is true," Mark smiled. "You think your mom would ever have taken a year and a half off of work for you?"

"I know," Meredith nodded. "And you're going to be a great dad. Addie told me how you recorded your voice so that when you're on call overnight the baby can hear you say good night."

"That's true," Mark smiled softly. "I can pretty much guarantee that my dad never did that."

"Exactly," Meredith smiled. "You'll be a good dad, Mark. And a good uncle."

"We're quite the pair, aren't we, Grey?"

"We're pretty lucky," Meredith sighed. "The Shepherds adopted both of us as one of their own."

Before Mark could answer, the front door opened and heavy footsteps sounded on the stairs. "Hey Mer," Derek smiled as he entered the room. "Hi Mark."

"Derek," Meredith breathed, her eyes lighting up as he crawled onto the bed beside her and kissed her gently. "What are you doing here?"

"Apparently someone told off Dr. Grey," Derek said with a smile. "And I've gotten an extended leave of absence."

"Oh," Meredith said with an innocent smile. "Well, we should really thank whoever that was."

"We should," Derek laughed, leaning forward to kiss her again. "Thank you."

"She told you," Meredith sighed.

"She did," Derek said, lacing their fingers together. "And I love you for it."

"Really?"

"Really," he nodded. "Although there's someone I don't love so much for telling you what she said in the first place."

"Well, now that you're back you can take care of her," Mark said, standing and moving towards the door. "I'll see you later."

"Mark," Meredith called from Derek's arms.

"Hmm?" Mark asked, turning to look at her.

"Thanks," she said.

Mark smiled slightly as he nodded. "No problem, Grey," he said before he turned to walk out of the room.

"How are you feeling?" Derek asked as he turned back to Meredith.

"Good," she nodded. "Mark brought me tacos."

"I know," he laughed. "And I bought a bunch of taco meat so there won't be any more two AM ferry boat rides."

"Right," Meredith nodded, biting her lower lip carefully.

"Mer," Derek asked, looking at her closely. "What's wrong?"

"I know it sucks to drive out there," Meredith sighed. "And you really don't have to if you don't want to…"

"But…" Derek prompted.

"But the Taco Bell ones taste so much better," Meredith whispered.

"Oh," Derek laughed, wrapping his arms tighter around her. "I'll keep going to Taco Bell."

"Really?" Meredith whispered.

"Really," Derek nodded. "Anything for my girls."

"Becky and Melanie say thank you Daddy," Meredith sighed as she brought his hand to her belly.

"You're welcome, girls," Derek smiled, kissing her stomach softly. "So…I don't have to work anymore."

"Which is amazing," Meredith sighed, leaning into him.

"I'll wait on you hand and foot," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Anything you want."

"You better," Meredith sighed, trailing her fingers over his t-shirt. "Thank you."

"For what?" Derek asked.

"For taking care of me," Meredith whispered. "I know that you never thought of anything else, but…I couldn't have done this without you."

"You're carrying my babies," Derek breathed. "What else would I be doing?"

"I know this is what you want to be doing," Meredith whispered. "And that's what I love about you."

"What's going on in that head of yours?"

"Liz has to do this alone," she whispered. "You've been so amazing with the cravings and the foot massages and making sure I have everything I need. I can't imagine doing this myself, and your sister has to do it."

"She'll be fine," Derek nodded. "She's moving back in with Mom, who is forcing her to tell Shawn. He may be a jackass, but he's going to want to take care of this baby. Which at least for the next eight months means taking care of Liz. And she has all of us."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "Just…thinking about her going through this alone makes me so much more grateful for you. You've been completely amazing."

"Just doing my job," Derek said. "I'm your husband, Mer. And a father now. I take care of my girls."

"I know," she giggled. "I yelled at my mom until she agreed to give you as much time off without any consequences."

"That's the feisty girl I married," Derek laughed. "I hope my girls get your determination."

"Me too," she giggled. "They're going to be amazing, Der."

"They already are," he said, laughing slightly as he traced the outline of a foot on her stomach. "Two and a half months."

"Then we'll really be parents," Meredith breathing, watching as Derek trailed his fingers over her stomach. "And then our lives change forever."


	76. Chapter 76

"Get out."

Derek frowned as he looked up from massaging Meredith's back, his eyes settling on Liz and Addison as they stood in the doorway of his bedroom. "Excuse me?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"We're have a girl's day," Addison said as she moved into the room. "Hi Mer. We have chocolate."

"Oh, thank God," Meredith breathed, reaching for the brownie Liz offered her. "Get out," she said turning to Derek.

"What?" he asked.

"Derek, I love you, and you've been amazing," she breathed. "But I need time with my friends."

"Mark's here," Addison nodded. "You two can go fishing and talk about being a dad or something."

Derek frowned as he looked at Meredith. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked running a hand over her stomach.

"I'm fine," she nodded.

"Okay," he sighed. "Look, Addie, she can walk to the bathroom, but don't let her go down the stairs, no matter what she says. And if her back really starts to hurt, warm baths help."

"Derek," Meredith rolled her eyes. "I know how to take care of myself. I'm not a five year old."

"Oh, and Mom catching you trying to walk down the stairs the other day was what…a test?" Derek asked.

"That was me being bored," Meredith shrugged. "I have two pregnant friends, lots of chocolate, and lots of girl movies. Trust me, I'm fine. Go fishing or something with Mark."

"Alright," Derek sighed, leaning down to kiss her quickly. "Be good for Mommy, girls," he murmured.

"He's so sweet," Addison smiled as Derek walked out of the room, closing the door behind

"I know," Meredith sighed. "He really is amazing. He's just…always here. Believe me, you guys came just when I was about to kill him. He's here all the time, saying things. It's driving me crazy."

"I love how he talks to the babies," Liz breathed. "He's going to be such an amazing father."

"Have you talked to Shawn yet?" Meredith asked as she flipped through the pile of movies Liz had brought.

"Yeah," Liz sighed. "He's excited about the baby. We're not really together, but…we both love this baby."

"What about you?"

"We're…we're going to see where it goes," Liz sighed. "I think I might move back in with him. Into his extra room. We're not back together or anything, but we are having a baby, and he shouldn't miss out on anything."

"Plus it's easier for you to have sex when the hormones hit," Addison nodded with a smirk.

"Addison!" Liz gasped.

"What?" Addison asked around a spoonful of ice cream. "It's true, right Mer? Pregnancy sex is amazing."

"It's so true," Meredith sighed. "God, I miss sex. Stupid bed rest. I could be having sex right now."

"Mark's been more than happy to comply with those cravings," Addison giggled as she ran a hand over her stomach.

"Derek was too," Meredith nodded. "This one time I went to the hospital when he had an overnight shift and he took me over a conference room table and he did this thing with his hand…"

"Oh, Mark and I did that too," Addison nodded. "It's so amazing. I can't believe how amazing pregnant sex is."

"Derek did this thing where he took his…"

"Okay!" Liz cried. "Sister sitting right here."

"Right," Meredith nodded. "Sorry. I just really miss it."

"I don't blame you," Addison sighed. "I mean, Mark's completely amazing. But I don't think I've ever screamed the way you did in the on call room on Thanksgiving last fall."

"Yeah," Meredith sighed. "That…was probably the best sex ever."

"Hmmm," Addison sighed. "It's just that when you're pregnant everything feels so…"

"Intense," Meredith breathed. "And I swear, it felt like Derek got even bigger when he…"

"Alright, that's it," Liz said. "I'm going downstairs until the talk about my brother's sex life is over."

"Sorry," Meredith laughed. "We're done, I promise."

"You said that five minutes ago."

"We're really done now," Addison smiled. "Lord knows I'll never want to know anything about my brother's sex life."

"Thank you," Liz sighed, getting back onto the bed.

"Hmm," Meredith sighed. "Thanks for coming over to keep me company."

"Are you kidding?" Addison smiled. "You'd do the same for me."

"If you end up on bed rest I promise to come visit," Meredith nodded. "And I'll bring your nieces."

"Hmm," Addison sighed. "Are you excited?"

"Terrified is a more accurate word," Meredith sighed. "But I can't wait until they're here, so I can get out of this damn bed."

"When's your C-section?" Liz asked.

"June fourteenth," Meredith sighed.

"That's still two months away."

"Believe me, I know," Meredith sighed. "I might go early though. I've been having Braxton Hicks every couple days, and Dr. White says they might come before June."

"Will they be okay?" Liz frowned.

"They should," Meredith nodded. "If they come now they'll be in the NICU for awhile, but…they're pretty well developed."

"I'm sure your girls will be fine," Addison smiled. "And then according to Mark our son will marry one of your daughters."

"That's pretty much all Derek's been talking about since he found out Mark's having a boy," Meredith giggled. "And no offense, but the last thing this world needs is another Mark Sloan."

"I'm really hoping that my son will be mostly Montgomery," Addison smiled.

"He'll be beautiful," Meredith nodded. "Now, which movie should we watch?"

XXXXX

"Well, they finally pried you off of Grey's hip," Mark laughed as Derek walked down the stairs.

"Shut up," Derek sighed, moving towards the kitchen and grabbing a bottle of water. "I'm worried, my entire world is in that bed upstairs."

"I know," Mark nodded. "Which is why we should go down to the lake. Between the three little miracles that are on the way we won't have much time to fish anymore. Until my boy's big enough that is."

"The girls are going to fish."

"Says who?"

"Daddy."

"Don't call yourself Daddy."

"Do you want to fish or not?" Derek asked.

"Let's go," Mark nodded, holding up a cooler. "I've got beer."

"I've got sandwiches," Derek said.

"Let's go."

They moved to the garage and grabbed their poles before making their way out to the lake. It was a rare sunny day in Seattle, and Derek had to admit that it felt good to be outside. He wished Meredith could come out with him, he knew that she was going crazy staying in bed all day.

"How's the bed rest going?" Mark asked as if reading his mind.

"It's going," Derek shrugged. "I'm ready for the girls to come."

"You've still got a while."

"I know," Derek sighed. "I'm a terrible father, I know."

"You're not a terrible father," Mark shook his head. "It's not like the kids will be unhealthy if they're born now."

"I know," Derek sighed. "But I want them to stay in there for a little longer. Their lungs aren't fully developed yet, and neither are their brains. It's just better for them to stay in there for longer. I do hate that Mer is miserable."

"I don't know how you're doing it," Mark shook his head. "If this were Addie, I'm pretty sure I would be a complete basket case."

"I have my moments," Derek nodded. "But Mer's depending on me. I can't exactly break down when she keeps needing me to tell her that everything's going to be okay."

"Makes sense," Mark nodded.

"How's Addie feeling?" Derek asked.

"Oh, Addie's feeling good," Mark nodded with a smirk. "She's very good."

Derek laughed slightly. "You're in the sex phase," he sighed. "Lucky bastard."

"Hey, you had your day," Mark shook his head. "Don't think none of us heard when you and Grey snuck upstairs during Christmas dinner."

"Please don't ever tell Mer that," Derek said. "My chances of ever having sex again are getting slimmer by the day, and I don't need her thinking that everyone's heard us doing it."

"She's not exactly quiet."

"Believe me, I know," Derek said. "God I miss it."

"Hey, that move you shoved me in the conference room," Mark said, shaking his head slightly. "Shit, man, I've never heard Addie scream like that."

"Glad I could help," Derek smiled. "And as much as I miss the sex…it will be worth it when I have my little girls."

"Mer's terrified," Mark said carefully, looking closely at his best friend.

"What?" Derek frowned. "What did she say to you? Is she in any pain?"

"Not like that," Mark shook his head. "When you asked me to sit with her last week, we got to talking, and well…she and I are a lot alike."

"What?" Derek frowned. "You and Mer are nothing alike. She's beautiful and amazing and you're…you."

"Thanks," Mark rolled his eyes. "We both grew up in shit families, and your mom took us both into your family as if we were her own children. We're both about to be parents and completely terrified that we're going to be shit parents and our kids are going to end up more screwed up than we are."

"Mer said that?" Derek asked. "She never told me that."

"I don't think she was keeping it from you," Mark sighed. "I just…we had the same experiences. It's easier to talk about a shitty childhood to someone else who had that experience. You're a good husband and a good friend, but you'll never understand what it's like to have parents that don't want you."

"That's what Mer says," Derek sighed.

"See?" Mark said. "We're the same."

"I guess," Derek sighed. "I just never thought of that before."

Before Mark could answer, Derek's cell phone rang loudly from his pocket and he quickly reached for it. "Mer?" he asked. "What's wrong?"

"Hi," Meredith giggled. "Look, I know you and Mark are fishing and manly men,"

"But…" Derek prompted, smiling slightly at Mark.

"But I was telling Addison and Liz about the chocolate pineapple juice you made me," Meredith sighed. "And now…well, we might die if we don't have any."

"Oh, well we can't have three dead pregnant girls on our hands," Derek laughed. "We'll be right up."

"Thanks," Meredith sighed. "I love you."

"Love you too," Derek laughed as he hung up the phone. "We have to do a craving run," he informed Mark.

"What do they want now?"

"Mer's been craving chocolate pineapple juice," Derek sighed as he closed his tackle box.

"What the hell is chocolate pineapple juice?"

"Pineapple juice with chocolate syrup," Derek shrugged. "Mer says that one baby likes chocolate and the other likes pineapple, so it makes sense to combine the two."

"And now she's got Addie craving it?" Mark frowned.

"Not my fault," Derek shrugged.

Mark sighed as they walked into the kitchen, frowning in disgust as Derek poured some pineapple juice into glasses and reached for the chocolate syrup. "This is disgusting."

"Wait until the third trimester," Derek sighed. "This morning Mer asked for chocolate covered pickles."

"I think I just threw up in my mouth," Mark winced.

"It'll be worth it," Derek smiled. "In five months. Two for me."

"Rub it in," Mark laughed.

"Alright," Derek sighed, placing the glasses on the tray. "Do you want to brave the three cranky pregnant women in my bed or are you going to make me do it?"

Mark paused, glancing up at the stairs before he returned his gaze to Derek. "Safety in numbers?" he asked.

"Definitely," Derek nodded, moving towards the stairs. "Here we are," he said as he opened the door to his room and smiled at the three women on his bed.

"What is that?" Meredith asked.

"Chocolate pineapple juice," Derek replied.

"Oh God," Liz gasped, clapping a hand over her mouth as she ran towards their bathroom.

"Why would you bring us that?" Addison frowned.

"Sorry," Derek whispered. "We'll take it away."

"Two more months, Shep," Mark whispered in Derek's ear. Derek sighed as he turned to walk out of the room. Two more months.


	77. Chapter 77

Derek sighed as he made his way through his dark bedroom, collapsing onto his side of the bed and rolling his eyes as he pulled a book out from under his back. He was completely exhausted from worrying about Meredith and making sure that she had everything she needed. He knew she was going completely crazy and he had no reason to complain when she was confined to their bed, her back aching and barely able to stay awake for even an hour at a time. Her body really was working in overtime to take care of his daughters, so he had no reason to complain about providing her with everything she needed.

"Derek?" her small voice whispered into the darkness, and a moment later he felt her cuddle as close to his side as her large stomach would let her. He smiled as he reached out to rub her stomach.

"No, it's your other husband," Derek laughed.

"Not funny," she whispered, and he could sense the tears in her eyes as she inhaled deeply.

"What's wrong?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her. "You feel okay? The girls are okay, right?"

"I'm sorry I'm being a complete bitch," Meredith whispered. "I don't know what's wrong with me."

"Oh, Mer," Derek sighed, pulling her close to press a kiss to her forehead. "I know you're miserable, and I hate it. I just wish there was more I could do for you than get you magazines and rub your back."

"It's more than enough," Meredith nodded against his shoulder. "And I love you for doing it. Becky and Mel love you too."

"Good," Derek smiled, reaching out to rub her stomach. "They're still. Are they both sleeping?"

"Thank God," Meredith sighed. "They don't have much room to move anymore. They do still kick though."

"They're getting ready," Derek whispered.

"They are," Meredith nodded. "I don't think I'm going to make it another eight weeks. They're going to come soon."

"I don't think so either," Derek laughed slightly. "They'll be okay, Mer. They're healthy."

"Are you sure?" she whispered.

"Well…I can't promise anything," Derek said, squeezing her tightly. "But they're almost fully developed."

"Really?"

"Mmmhmm," Derek nodded. "Their eyes are completely developed. They have all their senses, their brain is intact. The only thing that they're doing right now is growing some fat. So if they're born now, they'll be completely healthy, just a little tiny. Nothing a little time in the incubator won't fix."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded, running a hand over her stomach. "Stay in there for a little while, girls," she whispered.

"But be nice to Mommy," Derek added. "Daddy doesn't like seeing her so miserable."

"Neither does Mommy," Meredith laughed. "I'm way too small of a person to carry twins, Derek."

"I know," Derek said sadly. "You've done amazing with this pregnancy, Mer, and I'm so proud of you."

"I haven't done anything."

"You have," Derek breathed. "Meredith, after watching you these past few months, after feeling my babies move inside of you, I don't think I've ever loved you more."

"Really?" Meredith whispered.

"Really," Derek nodded.

"So you're not going to leave?" Meredith asked softly.

"Leave?" Derek frowned. "Why in the world would I leave? Meredith, I don't even want you thinking that."

"I just…I know I'm completely fat and bitchy right now," she whispered. "And I can't even give you sex, which is…you love sex."

"I do love sex," Derek nodded. "But I love you and our daughters more. And there is nothing in this world that could ever make me walk away from this family."

"Thank you," she whispered. "I just…I needed to hear that."

"I don't ever want you to think I'm leaving," Derek said. "Meredith, I love you more than anything in the world. And our girls…God, I'm holding my breath just so I can hold them. They're going to be completely amazing, and I don't ever want you to doubt my devotion to this family. The three of you are my everything."

"We're going to be that family, aren't we?" Meredith giggled.

"What family?" Derek asked, relieved to hear laughter in her voice.

"The family on TV," Meredith said. "The happy family who never has any problems."

"Well, there is a white fence around our porch," Derek laughed. "We're living the American dream, Mer."

"We only have two kids," she giggled. "The American dream has two point five."

"Well, we'll just have to work on that once the girls are old enough."

"Derek, you should never ever bring up more babies to a very pregnant woman," Meredith sighed. "You're lucky if I let you get me pregnant again."

"You promised me a boy."

"Well, if you want a boy so much, you can figure out a way to carry him," she shrugged.

"I'll work on that," Derek laughed.

"Good."

"Mark says you're scared," Derek whispered after a long moment of content silence.

"Oh," Meredith breathed, her grip on him tightening. "I am scared. Aren't you?"

"A little," Derek nodded. "More excited."

"I'm excited too," Meredith breathed. "I keep…I keep wondering what they're going to look like."

"Me too," Derek breathed. "I feel like a horrible father because I keep hoping that they're going to start coming soon so that I can see them, hold them in my arms, really feel like a father."

"You're not a horrible father," Meredith shook her head.

"And you're not a horrible mother."

"We're going to be good parents."

"We'll learn together," Derek sighed. "It won't be easy."

"But we'll have each other."

"And our daughters will be perfect, that will make the whole parenting thing a little easier."

"I suppose that's true," Meredith giggled. "And well…Mark's doing it."

"If Mark can be a parent, anyone can," Derek nodded.

Meredith trailed her fingers across his chest for a moment, staring at the wall in front of her for a long moment. "Addison said he wants to name him after you," she whispered.

"What?" Derek asked, looking down at her in the pale light of the moon.

"Christopher," Meredith whispered. "Christopher Michael."

"Oh," Derek breathed, blinking hard. "I…he didn't tell me that."

"I don't think they've decided yet," she whispered. "But I was thinking…Becky and Mel are going to need godparents."

"You want to get them baptized?" Derek asked.

"You don't?"

"I…hadn't really thought about it," Derek said honestly.

"I don't really…I'm not Catholic," Meredith said. "And we don't go to church, but it's important to your family. And the girls should be…blessed by God or whatever."

Derek smiled slightly as he ran a hand over her stomach. "You're right," he nodded. "So…godparents."

"Mark should be one of the godfathers."

"Definitely," Derek nodded. "So…Addie?"

"Hmm," Meredith nodded.

"What about the other?"

"One of your sisters?" Meredith whispered. "I mean, you're Meg's godfather."

"Lexie's your sister," Derek nodded.

"You want Lexie to be a godmother to be our daughter?"

"She's your sister, Mer."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded. "So…George?"

"I guess," Derek nodded. "Makes sense if Lexie's the godmother."

"Well that was easy," Meredith giggled.

"Hmm," Derek sighed. "You should sleep."

"I'm tired of sleeping," she pouted.

"You're exhausted, Mer."

"I know," she nodded.

"And on bed rest."

"You know," she said, a sly smile playing on her lips. "There was a time when we stayed in bed for days at a time. And we were never bored."

"Mer," Derek groaned, a hand going to her hair. "We can't."

"We can," she nodded, reaching down to grip his erection tightly. "I'm so wet, Der."

Derek swallowed hard as he shook his head. "Meredith," he said firmly. "The girls…"

"Are asleep," she whispered. "Please, Der, it's been so long."

"Trust me, I know," Derek groaned.

"So let's do it."

"We can't," Derek said. "Mer, we have to watch your blood pressure. And you can't go into labor."

"I won't."

"You don't know that."

"Please, Derek," she sighed. "Addison is in that amazing part of pregnancy where she can have sex anywhere, anytime. Remember that? Remember how tight I was? And wet. So wet, Derek, only for you."

"Meredith," he groaned, throwing his head back onto the pillows. "You're killing me."

"Remember the time you fucked me on the ferryboat?" she breathed. "God, Der, you felt so big inside of me. And remember the way I had to bite your shoulder to stop myself from screaming. You felt so good, Derek."

"Hmmm," Derek sighed. "Meredith…"

She smiled as she moved to straddle him, stopping when a sharp pain shot through her lower back. "Oh…ow."

"Mer," Derek sighed, shifting her to lie beside him. "I want to. God, you're so hot right now, and there's nothing I want more than to make love to you. But I'm not going to do that at the risk of hurting you or our daughters."

"You're right," she sighed. "I just…I miss you, Derek."

"I'm right here," he smiled.

"It's going to be so much harder to find time for us when the girls come," she whispered, gripping his shirt tightly in her hands.

"We'll do it," he nodded. "Maybe for the first couple weeks things will be hard, but once the girls are a couple months old we'll go out, just the two of us."

"We can do that?" Meredith breathed.

"Mer," he laughed, pulling her closer. "In case you haven't noticed, my mom loves being a grandma. And she'd be more than happy to take care of Becky and Mel once a week so we can have grown up time."

"That would be amazing," Meredith said.

"It will be," Derek nodded. "God, Mer, I can't wait for them to come."

"Believe me, no one wants these babies to be born more than me," Meredith sighed, looking down at her stomach. "I feel like I swallowed like…five bowling balls."

"Well you look beautiful," Derek laughed, kissing her forehead softly. "Most beautiful woman in the world."

"Stop lying."

"I'm not."

"No one actually believes that."

"I do," Derek nodded. "You were already beautiful, Mer. But the fact that my baby girls are inside of you…God, there's nothing more amazing to me than that."

"I love you," she whispered, leaning up to press her lips against his.

"I love you too," Derek smiled.

"And if…if I never get back to my pre-pregnancy body, you'll still love me, right?"

"Of course," Derek nodded. "Meredith, I love you. Your body's just an added bonus."

"Thank you," she sighed. "And I promise I'm going to try to stop being such a bitch."

"It's okay," Derek laughed. "You can't get out of bed, you're allowed to boss me around."

"I know," she said. "But there's a difference between bossing you around and being mean. I'm sorry I've been mean."

"I don't mind, Mer, really," he said, squeezing her tightly. "I just hate that you're miserable."

"I hate it too," she sighed. "And by the way, you're not having any more children."

"What?" Derek frowned. "You promised me a son."

"Yes, that was when I thought I would be carrying one baby at a time," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Giving birth to twins cancels out ever having to get pregnant again."

"But…"

"Derek seriously, don't press your luck," she sighed.

"Fine," he rolled his eyes. "How are you feeling? Do you need a back rub? I can draw you a bath if you want."

"It's okay," she sighed, her eyes already starting to close as she rested her head against his shoulder. "Just you."

"I'm here," he whispered.

"Talk to them?" she requested, pulling a hand to her stomach.

"Hmm," Derek sighed, rubbing his hand over the growing place of their children. "We're really excited to meet you girls. I know you're pretty cramped right now, but if you'll just hold in a little longer, I promise we'll be completely ready for you."


	78. Chapter 78

"Hello Shepherds," Dr. White smiled as she entered their exam room, looking down at Meredith's chart in her hands. "I see that you've been experiencing some discomfort, Meredith."

"That's an understatement," she sighed as she leaned into Derek. "I've been having Braxton Hicks a lot more frequently, and the dizzy spells are getting worse. I want to make sure the girls are okay."

Dr. White frowned as she looked down at the chart. "You're thirty weeks," she said slowly.

"It's too soon, right?" Meredith whispered. "It's too soon for them to get here, so they can't come yet."

"Well, they're almost fully developed," Dr. White nodded. "But we would ideally like to keep them in there for a little bit longer."

"What does that mean for Meredith?" Derek asked. "Is she going to be okay? She has to be okay."

"I know you're not going to like this," Dr. White sighed. "But I'm going to have to tell you to admit yourself to the hospital. We'll monitor you for a few days, but if the Braxton Hicks don't stop soon, we're going to have to push your delivery forward. And…" she smiled as she looked closely at the screen where the sleeping babies appeared. "From the looks of it, we'll be ready to deliver next week either way. They're growing fast."

"Next week?" Derek asked, his eyes wide. "But…her original due date is still four weeks away."

"You know it's a lot more unknown with twins, Dr. Shepherd," Dr. White said. "Your girls are pretty big already. I'd say they're six, six and a half pounds each. Pretty big for twins."

"You mean I have thirteen pounds of baby in me?" Meredith asked with wide eyes. "That's…a lot of baby."

"It's starting to make sense why you're constantly tired, isn't it?" Dr. White asked. "Don't worry, that's why you're having a C-section. It's too risky for a woman of your size to deliver twins naturally."

"Yeah," Meredith sighed, turning to look up at her husband with tears in her eyes. "Derek?"

"Yeah?" he whispered.

"I have to stay in the hospital."

"I heard that," he sighed. "It will be okay, Mer. They just want to be sure the girls are healthy."

"We're not…you have to go home and get things ready," she sighed. "We're not ready yet."

"I'm not going home," Derek shook his head. "I'm staying here with you. There's no way I'm leaving you."

"But the house isn't ready."

"It is," Derek nodded. "I'll send Mark out to get the car seats, but other than that we're completely ready for our little girls to come."

"We have to call people," she breathed. "Mom, the sisters…they all need to know, they've been so good."

"Don't worry about any of that, Meredith," Dr. White said softly. "We're going to get you into a room, and then you and Derek can call your family. I'm considering this a high risk pregnancy."

"Okay," Meredith whispered, leaning into Derek, tears streaming down her face as she clutched her stomach.

"Don't worry," Dr. White smiled softly. "We're going to take good care of you here. You and your babies will be just fine."

"Thank you," Meredith said softly, trying to hold back tears as Derek helped her into a wheelchair.

"Are you okay?" he asked softly, kneeling down in front of her, reaching out to brush some hair back from her face.

"I'm scared, Derek," she whispered, gripping his hand tightly. "I'm so completely scared."

"I know you are," Derek said softly, pressing a kiss to the back of her hand. "I am too. But we have to be brave for our girls."

"I don't know how," Meredith whispered. "I…every time I feel anything, I'm terrified that something's going to go wrong."

"I know," Derek nodded. "But you heard Dr. White. They're going to take good care of you and make sure that nothing bad happens. This is the best hospital on the west coast, Mer. You know that I would never accept anything less than that for you and Becky and Mel."

Meredith giggled slightly. "You are overprotective like that," she said. "It's finally paying off."

"There's the giggle," Derek smiled, leaning forward to kiss her forehead. "You ready to go?"

"Yeah," she sighed. "Let's go check me into the hospital so Becky and Melanie will be born."

"It won't be that bad, I promise," Derek smiled. "Once you're settled we'll call Mom and the girls and Mark, and they'll come spoil you rotten. Anything you want, they'll get it."

"And you won't?" Meredith asked.

"I'm not leaving your side," Derek promised.

"Good," Meredith sighed, leaning her head back as he wheeled her out of the exam room. Strong. She had to be strong. For Derek and her babies.

XXXXXX

"Oh, Meredith," Emma breathed as she entered the hospital room later that afternoon. "How are you feeling dear?"

"Hi Mom," Meredith said, smiling softly as she leaned forward to let Derek put another pillow behind her back. "I'm okay."

"Well, I've got to say that I feel much better now that you're here," Emma sighed as she settled down on the end of the bed.

"Really?" Meredith frowned.

"Yes," Emma nodded. "I know the two of you love your house, but it is so far away, I was far too worried about what would happen if something went wrong with the pregnancy."

"I guess you're right," Meredith sighed.

"See, Mer?" Derek said, squeezing her hand. "It's safer that you're here than back home."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "I just wish I could fast forward to next week and have my babies."

"They'll be here soon enough, dear," Emma smiled, pulling her bag up to rest on the bed. "Now I went with Mark to get the car seats from your house and picked up a few things I thought you might like."

Meredith smiled as she pulled the bag eagerly towards her, placing it on Derek's lap before she reached into it. "Oh," she smiled, looking down at a picture of her and Derek on their wedding day.

"I thought you might like some reminders of home," Emma smiled.

"Thanks, Mom," Derek smiled, reaching into the bag to pull out a light purple blanket. "Mel's blanket."

"Becky's is in there too," Emma smiled. "I know you wanted to take them home in them."

"Thanks, Mom," Meredith smiled.

"They each have a teddy bear in there as well," Emma smiled. "I figured they should have a piece of home with them when they're finally born."

"They will," Meredith nodded, handing Derek the blankets. "I'm kind of tired," she said softly.

"Go to sleep," Derek smiled, kissing her softly. "I might go outside to talk to Mom, but I'll be right outside the room, okay?"

"Love you," Meredith breathed.

"I love you too," Derek smiled, kissing her again before kissing her stomach. "You too girls." He ran his hands through her hair, turning to smile softly at his mom. "I want to stay until she falls asleep," he murmured. "Then we can talk."

"Of course, dear," Emma whispered, moving to sit in the chair beside Meredith's bed. She watched carefully as Derek ran his fingers through his wife's hair, whispering softly. She had no doubt in her mind that her son was completely terrified, and she couldn't help the sudden surge of pride she felt. He was being completely strong and amazing for his terrified wife, and she smiled softly as she looked at him closely. He looked so much like his father, and she was sure that Michael was looking down on his grand daughters, making sure that they survived.

"Okay, Mom," Derek whispered as he pulled the blankets up around Meredith and kissed her forehead softly. "She's out."

"Good," Emma nodded, leading him towards the door. As soon as they stepped into the hallway, Derek inhaled sharply, sagging his weight against the now closed door. "Derek?" she whispered, reaching out to rest a hand on his shoulder.

"Mom," Derek gasped, his shoulders shaking as he tried to hold back the tears. "Mom, I can't…"

"Alright, dear," Emma sighed, pulling him to stand again. "Let's go to a conference room."

Derek stared at the floor as he followed his mother through the halls of the hospital. When the door to the conference room closed behind them, Derek turned to his mother and leaned into her arms, unable to control his tears any longer.

"Oh, darling," Emma whispered, rocking him gently as she led him to the couch in the corner of the room. "It's alright. Let it out, just let all of it out."

"Mom," Derek gasped, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed. "Meredith…"

"Meredith is just fine," Emma said, running a hand through his hair. "You need to breath dear."

Derek cried on his mother's shoulders for a few more minutes before he pulled back, reaching up to wipe at his cheeks. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"There's no need to be sorry, Derek," Emma said softly. "Are you alright?"

"I…don't know," Derek breathed. "I'm trying to be strong, Mom. Meredith needs me to be strong, she's so scared, and she needs me to assure her that everything's going to be okay. I can't let her see that I'm just as terrified as she is. She needs me to be strong."

"Oh, Derek," Emma breathed, reaching out to cup her son's cheek in her hand. "She's your wife. You need to be able to turn to her."

"My entire world is lying in that bed down the hall," Derek breathed. "My wife, my daughters…and one thing, one stupid extra second of stress could raise her blood pressure enough to cause distress to her and the babies. I can't let her see how scared I am because if I do…she'll get even more scared and then she and the girls…they could… I can't do it, Mom."

"Okay," Emma said softly. "I understand not wanting to break down in front of her. But she needs to know that she's not alone in being scared. She needs to know that you're just as terrified about this as she is, that you're both in this together."

"She needs me," Derek shook his head. "I can't let her see me like this."

"Derek," Emma sighed. "You're so much like your father. And I love that because I feel that apart of him as lived on through you. But you've also inherited his stubbornness. The man was never able to admit his weaknesses."

"Mom," Derek sighed, pulling back to run a hand through his hair. "I appreciate you trying to help, I really do. But I just…I need to take care of Mer and Becky and Mel. She needs me to take care of them."

"That's why she's in the hospital, dear," Emma reminded him gently. "She doesn't need someone to take care of her. That's what the nurses and doctors are for. She needs someone to love her, to keep her distracted from lying around in a hospital all day. She needs her husband."

"Oh," Derek said, blinking slightly. "I…I never thought about it."

"I know you didn't," Emma smiled. "You've been so wonderful with taking care of her, which was necessary while you were at home. But now it's time for you to let the doctors do their job and you to do yours as her husband."

"You're right," Derek said, his eyes wide. "I need to be her husband. Not her doctor."

Emma smiled as she pressed a kiss to his cheek. "Go to her, dear," she said softly. "Take a nap with her, hold her…do whatever you need to in order to ensure that she knows you're there for her, that you're just as terrified as she is."

"Thanks Mom," Derek sighed, leaning in to kiss her cheek before moving towards the door. "I'll call you if anything changes."

He made his way quickly down the hallway, suddenly feeling a fresh need to hold his wife in his arms, to really be with her instead of just worrying about her. He slid into her room, smiling softly as her snores filled the room. She was completely exhausted, and he felt his heart swell at the amazing lengths she was going through just to make sure he got his little girls.

"Oh, Mer," he breathed as he kicked his shoes off and slid into the tiny bed beside her, wrapping his arms tightly around him. "I love you."

Meredith stirred slightly, her hand moving to rub against her stomach as she automatically cuddled closer to him. Her stomach brushed against his abdomen, and he smiled softly as he leaned down to let his hand join hers. "You too, little girls."

Meredith stretched slightly, her legs rubbing against his calves and her stomach pressing into his tighter as her eyes fluttered open. "Hi," she whispered, reaching to squeeze his hand as she leaned up to kiss him.

"Hi," he murmured against her lips.

"Your eyes are red," Meredith frowned as she looked up at him.

"Just tired," Derek shrugged. "It's fine, Mer."

"No," she shook her head. "Your hair's a mess and your eyes are red and…Derek, you've been crying."

Derek took a deep breath, remembering his vow to tell Meredith what he was feeling. "I'm just worried Mer."

"What?" she frowned, turning to look at the monitors beside her bed. "Did Dr. White tell you something? Are the girls okay?"

"They're fine," Derek nodded. "And I just…this is a lot for me to handle, Mer. The three of you mean everything to me, and I can't help but be terrified that if one little thing goes wrong, I'll lose everything."

"Oh," Meredith nodded slowly, her fingers moving to smooth along his curls. "Derek… I feel good."

"You're in the hospital," Derek breathed. "On bed rest."

"And your mother was right," Meredith smiled. "It's better for me to be here so if something does go wrong, they can fix it right away."

"I know," he sighed, leaning forward to press his forehead against hers. "But I can't help worrying."

"Me either," Meredith giggled. "It's what parents do."

"I suppose," Derek sighed.

"We're…" Meredith froze as she pulled out of his arms, her hand going to her stomach.

"Meredith?" Derek asked, panic filling his voice as she reached for her hand, gripping it tightly. "What's wrong?"

"I think…ow," she breathed as she squeezed her eyes shut. "I think something's wrong."

Derek's heart stopped beating as he turned to the beeping monitors, trying to remember what they all measured. He turned to the door as Dr. White moved in, looking quickly at the machine as she examined Meredith.

"It's time," she said simply, turning to a resident. "Get to OR ready."

Derek squeezed Meredith's hand as he turned to look down at her. "You hear that, Mer?" he whispered. "Becky and Mel are coming now."


	79. Chapter 79

Derek Shepherd had stood in this OR several times, probably hundreds of time in the past two years, preparing to save someone's life. He remembered the first time, the way his hands had shook as he scrubbed in. But now, as he stared through the window and watched his wife get an epidural, his hands were shaking so much that he dropped the soap exactly six times before he was properly scrubbed in. Everything about this moment suggested that he was about to be Dr. Derek Shepherd; from the light blue scrubs pulled from his locker to the ferryboat scrub cap and surgical mask he was tying on, he looked like Dr. Shepherd. Except he knew that the next time he stepped out of this OR, he would be Daddy to two precious little girls.

"Derek," Meredith gasped, her voice filled with fright as he stepped out of the scrub room, immediately moving closer to her and taking her hand, squeezing it tightly as he looked around the room.

"I'm right here," Derek smiled, kneeling down to look into her eyes. "How are you feeling?"

"I…I can't feel my legs," she whispered.

"I know," he nodded. "Our girls are about to come, Mer. We're going to be parents in a few minutes."

"I know," she breathed. "I'm going to be a good mom, right? And they're going to love me?"

"An amazing one," Derek nodded.

"Alright, we're ready to begin," Dr. White said as she entered the OR. "Anything you'd like to say, Dr. Shepherd?"

Derek smiled as he looked down at Meredith. "It's a beautiful night to save lives," he breathed. "Let's have some fun."

Meredith smiled slightly at him, and he glanced at Dr. White as she made the first incision before he turned his attention back to his wife. "I say that before every surgery," he explained. "It's good luck."

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded. "You're wearing the scrub cap I got you for your last birthday."

"I wear it for every surgery," Derek said. "You bring me good luck. And now it's going to bring us good luck."

Meredith smiled softly, and he felt his own panic subside slightly at the fact that he could calm his wife. He wasn't sure if it was seconds or hours later, but when he heard the sound of loud cries filling the OR, he turned to see Dr. White gently lifting his first baby girl out of his wife's stomach.

"Oh Mer," he breathed. "Look at her, she's beautiful. This is our daughter, Meredith. Our daughter."

"Oh," Meredith sobbed as she watched her husband take the tiny baby into his arms, bringing her closer, looking at her tiny perfect features and her mass of dark hair, stuck to her head. "Hi sweetheart."

"Dr. Shepherd, we've got to give her the APGAR," a nurse murmured as she reached for the baby."

"And we have another Baby Girl Shepherd," Dr. White smiled as she carefully maneuvered their second daughter out of Meredith's stomach, her face scrunched and blonde hair matted against her head.

Derek held his breath for a moment when he didn't hear the healthy cries he had of his first daughter. "Derek," Meredith gasped, squeezing his hand tightly. "Why isn't she crying…"

Before she could finish her terrified question, Dr. White suctioned some fluid out of the little girl's lungs and her loud cries filled the room, much louder and more insistent than her sister's.

"Oh," Meredith gasped as the baby girl was placed in Derek's arms and he moved to show her. "Derek," she whispered, looking closely at the tiny features. "She looks like me."

"She's beautiful," Derek breathed as he handed his daughter to the nurse to join her sister. He knelt down to his wife, tearing his surgical mask off to press his lips against hers. "Thank you, Mer," he whispered. "God, I love you so much."

"I love you too," she breathed as she ran a hand through his hair. "What…where are they?"

"They're just testing their reflexes and cleaning them up," Derek murmured. "They're fine."

"You can go with them if you like," Dr. White said. "We've got to close and get Meredith to recovery, but we'll take good care of her if you want to stay with your daughters."

"I…" Derek glanced at the corner of the room where his tiny babies were being tended for by the nurses. He had never been this conflicted before, but he shook his head. "I'll stay with Meredith."

"No," she whispered. "You should go with them."

"Mer, you need me," he murmured.

"I'm fine," she shook her head. "They'll…I don't want them to be scared. They know you. Go with them."

Derek glanced at Dr. White for a moment. "You'll take good care of her?" he asked.

"Of course, Dr. Shepherd."

"Okay," Derek breathed, kissing Meredith again. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. "Tell our daughters I love them too."

"I will," Derek promised, squeezing her hand one last time before he turned to his daughters, preparing to be a father for the first time.

XXXXX

Pain.

That was all Meredith could feel as her eyes fluttered open, and she briefly wondered if she had been hit by a bus. Every bone in her body hurt, and it was a huge struggle to even open her eyes. But then she ran a hand over her stomach that was a lot smaller than it had been that morning, and she suddenly remembered why she felt like death. Her daughters were here.

She sat up quickly, grimacing in pain as her stomach protested the movement. She winced, knowing that there had to be stitches from the c-section, and that she would have a long recovery ahead of her. But in that moment, she didn't care.

"Whoa," her husband's voice said as she felt his weight join hers on the bed. "Slow down there."

"Derek," she breathed as she opened her eyes. "The girls…where are they?"

"Right here," Derek smiled, looking at the bassinet to the side of her bed. "They've been waiting for Mommy to wake up."

"Oh," she gasped, looking down at the two sleeping girls. "They're…so perfect."

"I know," Derek smiled. "I haven't held them. I didn't want either of them to feel neglected if I held the other first."

"Can we…can I hold them now?"

"Of course," Derek smiled, reaching for his look alike and placing her gently in Meredith's arms before he reached for the tiny clone of his wife.

"Which one is this?" Meredith whispered.

"I didn't name them," Derek shook his head as he offered the baby in his arms a finger to tug on. "We should decide that together."

"They don't look alike," Meredith observed. "This one looks like you."

"She does," Derek smiled. "What do you think?"

"I think…she should be Melanie," Meredith whispered. "She looks like a Melanie."

"She does," Derek said as he smiled down at the baby in his arms. "And that makes you Becky."

"Welcome to the world, my beautiful baby girls," Meredith whispered as she reached out to stroke Becky's cheek. "I'm your mommy."

"And I'm your daddy," Derek murmured.

"We're so glad that you're finally here," Meredith whispered. "And we're going to love you so much."

"We already do," Derek said. "You're the most perfect little girls in the entire world."

Meredith smiled as she shifted her eyes to look up at Derek. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he smiled, closing the distance between them to press his lips against hers. "How are you feeling?"

"Sore," Meredith nodded. "But…amazing."

"Good," Derek smiled. "I'm so proud of you."

"Hmm?" Meredith whispered, her eyes fixated on the baby in her arms.

"You've been so amazing with this pregnancy," Derek breathed. "And now…now we have our baby girls."

"Can we switch?" Meredith whispered. "I want to hold Becky."

"Of course," Derek smiled, shifting to place Melanie in her free arm. "Oh, Meredith," he whispered, blinking back tears as he stared at his wife cradling their babies close to her. "I don't think I've ever loved you more than I do in this moment."

"Well, that's good," Meredith giggled through her tears. "Because I just gave birth to your children."

Derek smiled as he reached to take Melanie out of her arms. "Hi princess," he whispered. "You're so beautiful. Oh, Mel, I'm so excited to have you and Becky here with us."

Meredith giggled as she looked down at Becky. "She looks so much like me," she whispered.

"She's beautiful," Derek smiled. "They both are."

"How long was I asleep for?" Meredith asked.

"About an hour," Derek sighed. "We have a little while before they'll take the girls back to the nursery."

"Oh," Meredith frowned.

"What's wrong?" Derek asked.

"Just…we have to give them back," she sighed.

"Only for tonight," Derek smiled. "And probably tomorrow night. But we'll probably be able to take them home the day after that."

"Home," Meredith breathed. "Derek, can you get their blankets? I want them to have them when they're in there tonight. I don't want them to be scared."

"They won't be," Derek smiled as he shifted Melanie into her arms and reaching for their baby bag. "They have each other."

"Here we go girls," Meredith smiled as she looked down at her daughters. "Look what Daddy has for you."

"Mommy made these blankets for you," Derek smiled. "We've got purple for Mel, my perfect little princess. And pink for Becky, my beautiful butterfly."

"Say thank you Daddy," Meredith giggled.

There was a knock on the door and a moment later Mark stepped in, Addison behind him as she rested a hand on her swollen belly. "I heard that there were two beautiful girls born today," Mark smiled as he moved to the bed. "I guess it's true."

Derek smiled proudly as he reached for Becky again. "Girls, this is your Uncle Mark and Aunt Addison," he whispered. "And this…is Becky. Rebecca Elizabeth Shepherd."

"And this is Melanie Emma Shepherd," Meredith smiled. "Your Aunt Addison thought of your name," she whispered to the baby."

"They're so beautiful," Addison whispered.

"Now, Shep, which one is going to marry my boy?" Mark asked with a smirk.

"They aren't marrying a Sloan," Derek shook his head. "No one is good enough for my girls."

"You're going to have quite the wake up call in about thirteen years," Addison smiled.

"We're not talking about that," Derek shook his head, frowning as Melanie opened her eyes and let out a soft cry. "What's wrong with her?"

"I think…maybe I need to feed her?" Meredith asked, biting her lower lip.

Before Derek could answer, Becky's cries echoed her sisters and Mark turned to Derek with a grin. "Good luck, Shep," he said. "We'll get out of here so Grey can feed them."

"Thanks," Meredith sighed as she reached for Becky.

"We'll come back tomorrow," Addison nodded, kissing Derek's cheek quickly. "Congratulations."

"Thanks," Derek smiled, watching as their friends walked out of the room. "You okay?" he asked, watching as Meredith pulled her hospital gown down and held each baby to a breast.

"Fine," she nodded.

"It's okay to feed them like that?" Derek asked.

"Tandem feeding," Meredith nodded. "It's normal. I can't have one of them starving."

"No, I guess not," he smiled as he ran a hand over Melanie's capped head.

"Though…while I'm doing this do you mind going to get me something to drink?"

"Of course not," Derek shook his head. "What do you want?"

"Apple juice?"

"On the way," Derek nodded.

"Thanks," Meredith smiled. "I love you."

"Love you too," Derek said, kissing her softly. "Love you too, Becky and Melanie."

"Say bye to Daddy," Meredith murmured. "He'll be back soon."

She watched Derek slip out of the room, smiling down at her daughters. Becky had already detached herself from her breast, and was staring at her mother with wide blue eyes. Melanie latched off a moment later, staring at her with similar eyes. Meredith smiled as she stared down at her daughters, carefully bringing her knees up to rest the tiny babies against her legs, her hands holding their heads steady.

"Hi girls," she whispered. "I've been waiting so long for you to come. And I know that I complained a lot about being pregnant and having to stay in bed all day but it was completely worth it. Because now you're here. You're here, and you're both completely amazing. I don't really know much about being a mommy, but I promise I'm going to try as hard as I can to be the best mommy in the world. You already have the most amazing man in the world as your daddy, so I'm going to try to be an amazing mommy. You're the two most beautiful little girls in the entire world, and you deserve to have the best parents in the world. So that's why I'm going to be the best mommy in the entire world. I want you to have everything I never had.

"And you've already got so much. We have a nursery waiting for you at home, even though you're going to sleep in Daddy's bassinet in our room for the first couple days. But you've got a play room filled with toys, even though you won't be able to use them for a really long time. And you have a grandma and lots of aunts and uncles who are going to spoil you rotten. When you're older, I'll be sure to teach you the eyes that your daddy can't say no to. Especially you, Becky, because you look so much like me, and your daddy never says no to me. And Miss Melanie, I'm afraid that you're going to be the female version of McDreamy, because you look so much like your daddy. He's not going to be happy if you have as many boys going after you as he does nurses, but that's not for a long time, so we'll get him used to the idea."

"I love you both so much. I never thought I would have kids, but your daddy convinced me that it was possible. Your daddy's convinced me to do a lot of things that I never thought I could, and he's going to do the same for you. He already loves you so much, and you can do anything you want to. We're going to make sure that you both have everything you need, and we're going to love you so much."

"Hey," Derek smiled as he entered the room again, placing a bottle of apple juice on Meredith's bedside. She smiled up at him as he slid into bed beside her, reaching for Melanie. She leaned her head against his shoulder as they looked down at their brand new babies, completely content to remain silent. For the first time ever, the Shepherd family sat silently, completely content to be together.


	80. Chapter 80

"Are you sure it's okay that we bring them home?" Meredith asked, biting her lower lip as she swaddled Becky and set her on the bed beside her sister. "They were nearly a month early."

"You heard Dr. Childs," Derek said, referring to their pediatrician. "They're perfectly healthy."

"And you had the car seats checked?" Meredith asked, reaching out to adjust Melanie's hat

"They have to check them before we leave the hospital," Derek nodded as he set the packed diaper bag on the chair besides the overnight bag containing their own belongings. "We're ready for them to come home, Mer. They're three days old and healthy."

"I know," she sighed. "I'm just worried."

"There's no need to worry," Derek grinned as he scooped Becky into his arms, smiling down at her. "Right hun? Mommy's silly for worrying. You're excited to go home, and so is Mellie."

"Okay," Meredith sighed. "They're both fed, burped and changed. They should be okay until we get home."

"Good," Derek smiled, watching as she picked Melanie up and held her against her chest. "Mark's on his way up. We'll make him carry the bags, because I don't want to put her down."

"You know he's going to have a baby of his own soon," Meredith smiled as she rubbed Melanie's back slightly. "It would help him to practice with our girls, maybe he should carry Becky out."

"No one besides you and I are carrying our daughters out of this hospital," Derek said firmly.

"Uncle Mark is here," Mark announced as he walked into the room, smiling as he looked down at Becky. "Hey Beck, give me five." He frowned as the baby stared up at him before he turned to Meredith. "Mel, you won't leave me hanging, will you?" he asked, offering his hand to Melanie.

Meredith giggled as Melanie gurgled, then spit up a little bit on her shoulder. "They're not ready to do more than eat and sleep," she said as she reached for a spit up cloth. "Do you mind taking the bags?"

"No problem," Mark nodded.

"Thanks," Derek smiled as he moved carefully towards the door. "Ready to go home, Becky? We've got your room all ready for you, and your play room too. You're going to have so much fun."

"And Daddy will probably read to you," Meredith whispered as she trailed her finger down Melanie's cheek.

"Definitely," Derek nodded as he looked up at his wife. "Are you sure you don't need a wheelchair?" he asked.

"I'm sure," Meredith nodded, smiling softly at him. "I just want to go home, get out of here."

"I know, but your incision…"

"Is healing fine," Meredith said. "I have to come back to get the stitches taken out next week, but other than that, it's fine."

"Okay," Derek sighed. "But you have to take it easy. For me. And Becky and Melanie. We don't need Mommy back in the hospital."

"I will," Meredith nodded. "And our daughters are so quiet today. Hopefully that means there won't be any screaming at all today."

Derek smiled as they stepped out of the room and moved towards the elevators. As the doors slid closed, Mark smirked and looked down at Becky. "You know, this is where you little midgets first came to be," he said with a nod. "Right here in this very elevator, during a long shift…"

"Mark," Meredith hissed, staring up at him with flashing eyes.

"What?" Mark asked.

"You can't tell them about how they were conceived," Meredith rolled her eyes.

"Like they can understand me."

"That doesn't matter," Meredith sighed. "And…how do you even know that?"

Derek quickly busied himself with adjusting Becky, shifting her to lay against his shoulder so she looked at Meredith. "I think she just smiled Mer."

"She's three days old," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And if you're going to tell Mark about every time we have sex, it might be a very long time before the two of you talk again."

"That's not nice," Derek frowned.

"I can't believe I'm having this conversation when I'm bringing my daughters home," Meredith sighed. "Your daddy's an idiot," she said as she looked down at Melanie. "Just remember…Mommy's always right."

Derek laughed as the elevator doors opened and they walked to where the car was waiting in the pick up lot. "I would say that's not true," he said. "But I can't lie to my little girls."

"Good," Meredith smiled as Mark pulled the door to the backseat open for her. "Thanks."

"Sure thing Grey," Mark smiled as he threw their bags in the trunk and slammed it closed. "You need anything else?"

"I think we're good," Derek nodded as he set Becky into the car seat. "Thanks, Mark."

"No problem," Mark nodded. "Congrats again, Shep. Addie and I will give you a call in a couple days to see how everything's going."

"Thanks," Meredith smiled. She pulled the straps tighter around Melanie and adjusted her hat before she looked across the seat at Derek. "You're sure she's strapped in tight enough?" she asked. "Because if she's not…"

"She's in," Derek nodded, carefully setting a teddy bear in Becky's lap. "There you go, hun. Something to entertain you for the car ride home."

Meredith leaned forward to kiss Melanie's forehead softly before she closed the door and carefully climbed into the front seat, wincing as she lifted a hand to her abdomen.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Derek asked as he climbed into the driver's side.

"It's sore," Meredith sighed. "But that's normal. Good thing I'm married to a surgeon, though, whenever you freak out about it you can just check to make sure it's okay."

"You're going to regret giving me permission to do that," Derek laughed as he started to back the car out of the lot.

"Okay, seriously?" Meredith asked as he pulled onto the road. "Is your foot even off the brake?"

"I have to go slow," Derek frowned. "This is their first car ride."

"I'm not asking you to go eighty," Meredith rolled her eyes. "But I would like to get the girls home sometime before their first birthday."

"Not funny," Derek sighed, but he sped up a little bit to be more with the flow of traffic.

"That's better," Meredith sighed, turning to look at the girls and frowning when she realized she couldn't see them with the backwards car seats. "We need to get mirrors or something so we can see them while we're in the car."

"They're fine, Mer," Derek smiled, reaching for her hand. "They're safe and happy."

"I know," she sighed, rolling her eyes as she watched the cars speed past them. "Now if we could only get home before night fall…"

XXXXX

"Okay, princess," Derek smiled, reaching to take Melanie out of her car seat. "This is your home."

"You're going to love this land when you're old enough," Meredith smiled down at Becky in her arms.

Derek carefully made his way up the stairs of the porch, Meredith following as he pushed the door open. "Here we are," he announced. "Mommy and Daddy love this house a lot, and you're going to love it to, I promise."

Meredith sighed as Becky let out a soft wail in her arms. "I think she's hungry," she sighed. "I'll feed her on the couch. Mom said she put another bassinet in there so Mellie can wait in there while you get the bags."

"Okay," Derek nodded, carefully placing his daughter into the newer bassinet beside the couch. "What do you need?" he asked as Meredith sat down and unbuttoned her shirt.

"I bought a breastfeeding pillow," she sighed. "But I don't know…just hand me that one for now?"

"Sure," Derek nodded. "I'm going to go grab the bags, I'll be right back."

"We'll be waiting," Meredith smiled as Becky latched onto her breast, sucking eagerly.

Derek moved back to the front door quickly, reaching into the trunk and grabbing both the diaper bag and the overnight bag he and Meredith had shared. This was it, they were really parents now, and for the next six weeks he and Meredith would be completely alone with their baby girls. He couldn't wait.

When he walked back into the living room, however, he was met with a sight he hadn't been expecting. Melanie was screaming from the bassinet, Becky was scrunched up on the couch as Meredith tried to change her diaper, and his wife was close to tears as she pleaded with her tiny daughter.

"I'm sorry, Becky," she whispered. "I know I'm a bad mommy but I'm trying. You just need to stop moving so I can change your diaper, and then I have to feed your sister. Please help Mommy out here, she's very tired."

"Mer," Derek breathed, dropping the bags and rushing to her side. "What happened?"

"I don't know," she snapped. "Mel started crying, but I couldn't get to her because Becky was still eating, and then Becky started crying so I thought she might be wet, and…Derek, how am I supposed to do this? I can't even take care of one of them, let alone both of them at the same time."

"You can," Derek nodded, moving to pick Melanie up and cuddling her close. "It's just going to take practice. And I'll be here for the next six weeks."

"What happens when you go back to work?" she asked as Becky finally stilled enough to get a diaper on.

"You'll be fine," Derek nodded. "They'll be older then, and they have to cry a little bit before we can get to them."

"You want us to let them cry?" Meredith frowned. "We can't."

"We have to," Derek sighed, kissing Melanie's head slightly. "Otherwise we'll never have another second to ourselves ever again."

Meredith sighed as she looked down at Becky. "I guess you're right," she breathed.

"Did Becky finish eating?" Derek asked, easing himself onto the couch beside Meredith.

"I think so," Meredith sighed. "I'm not good at this, Derek."

"Yes you are," he smiled, moving his free hand to push her hair behind her ear. "You just need practice."

"How come you're so good at this?"

"I watched Kath and Nancy," Derek shrugged. "And I've taken care of dozens of sick kids."

"This is when I wish I'd opened a day care," Meredith sighed, looking down at Melanie. "She's okay?"

"She is," Derek nodded. "Just wanted Daddy to cuddle with her."

"Good," Meredith nodded, leaning into the cushions.

"Are you hungry?"

"Starving," she nodded.

"Mom said she'd come over to help us out tonight," Derek said. "You me to ask her to pick up a pizza?"

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed. "How about a salad?"

Derek stared at her for a moment before he asked, "Salad?"

"Yeah, you know, lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, all mixed together with dressing on top?" Meredith giggled.

"I know what a salad is," Derek rolled his eyes. "I wasn't aware that you did."

"The girls are still eating through me," Meredith shrugged. "I have to make sure I eat enough vegetables for them."

"Right," Derek said. "I'll call her and ask to pick up a couple salads. You want a sandwich or anything?"

"Nope," Meredith shrugged.

"Okay," Derek smiled, reaching into his pocket. "You know what, I left my phone in the car. Can you hand me the cordless?"

"I'll call her," Meredith sighed, handing Becky to him. "I have to pee anyways."

"Okay," Derek smiled as he carefully cradled his daughters close to him. "Well," he smiled as he laid his daughters down on the couch cushion in front of him. "I believe that this is the first time we've had just the three of us. What do you think of your home? It's pretty amazing, isn't it? Mommy and I built it ourselves, and we were thinking of you when we built it. I'm so glad that you're finally here. I've waited so long for a little princess, and I guess I waited so long that I was rewarded with two perfect little princesses. I love you both so much, and I'm going to promise you that you're going to have everything you need. I'm a doctor, which is a big important job, so I might have to stay away for the night sometimes, but you'll always be the most important thing in my life. Well, you and Mommy.

"I know you're used to having everything you need right away because that's how it worked while you were in Mommy's tummy. But now that you're in the real world, I'm going to teach you something called patience. And if you can learn this now, well… you already know something your mommy doesn't. But don't tell her I said that, because even though she's really cute when she gets mad, today's a really happy day, and I don't want her mad at me."

"And why would I be mad at you?" Meredith asked as she came back into the room, kneeling on the floor in front of the couch cushion where her daughters lay, quietly sleeping.

"Nothing," Derek shook his head. "Father daughter stuff."

"Father daughter stuff that includes making fun of Mommy?" Meredith asked.

"Never," Derek smiled as he leaned forward to kiss her softly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Meredith nodded, reaching for Melanie. "And you can stop asking me that. I'll tell you if anything's wrong."

"I know," Derek sighed as he cradled Becky close to his chest. "I just…worry. You're the mother of my children, so I worry."

"Oh, that's all I am now?" Meredith smiled. "Not your wife? Just the mother of your children?"

"Yes, now you've seen my plan unraveled," Derek laughed.

"You're an idiot," Meredith sighed as she stood from the floor, cradling Melanie close as she sat down beside him on the couch. "So…this is our family."

"This is it," Derek smiled. "The Shepherds."

"The Shepherds," Meredith smiled, offering Melanie her finger. "I like it."

"Me too," Derek laughed. "What do you think, girls? Are you happy with your family?"

"You should be," Meredith added. "You're Shepherds. And even though Shepherds are kind of crazy, they're pretty cool. So you should be really proud to be Shepherds. I know I love being a Shepherd."

"Oh, Mer," Derek smiled, kissing her softly before looking down at Melanie, then Becky. "I can't believe how beautiful they are."

"They really are," Meredith murmured as she slid Melanie's hat off her head and pressed a kiss to her dark hair.

"Perfect, just like their Mommy."

"And their Daddy," Meredith smiled. "Though I'll never admit that again."

Derek laughed as Becky whimpered slightly and he curled her close to him. This was it. This was his family, and this was perfect. It was scary, taking care of twins, but they could do this.


	81. Chapter 81

A soft cry ripped through Derek's unconscious state, and he sighed as he rolled over to look at the clock. Five thirty. Both of his daughters had actually managed to sleep for almost three hours at the same time. This had to be a sign that they were getting better, that they would soon sleep through the night.

"Becky needs to be fed," Meredith murmured without opening her eyes or lifting her head from the pillow.

"I know," he nodded. "I'll get her. I have to be up in a half hour to get ready for work anyways."

"Hurry before she wakes Mel."

"Going," Derek laughed before he leaned forward to kiss her cheek quickly.

"Hi Butterfly," he whispered as he entered the nursery a moment later. His daughter stared up at him with wide eyes, her cries stopping as she reached for her father. "Come here before you wake your sister," he murmured. "Let's go downstairs and get you something to eat before Daddy has to get ready for work."

He couldn't believe that it was already time for him to go back to work. The past six weeks had flown by, filled with play times, visitors, dirty diapers, and a lot of tears, both from Melanie and Becky, as well as he and Meredith.

Learning to care for twins hadn't been easy, and he wasn't even sure how exactly they'd done it. But Meredith, his amazing wife who had completely broken down five minutes after they'd brought the girls home, had somehow become Super Mom. For the first week or so they'd traded babies, making sure that they each got enough time with both of their daughters, but eventually things had fallen into a pattern. Meredith learned the value of pumping milk so Derek could help with night time feedings, she'd realized that it wasn't the end of the world to let one baby cry until she was finished changing the other's diaper, and they had both realized how to tell the difference between each girl's various cries.

His daughters had grown a lot in the past six weeks as well. They were both smiling constantly, and when Meredith had realized that music would stimulate their brains, there seemed to always be a radio on in the house. He smiled as he carried Becky into the kitchen and reached for the CD player. "Let's listen to the Clash," he murmured. "That's your favorite, isn't it, hun?"

Becky smiled as the sounds of Clampdown filled the room and Derek smiled widely as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "That's my girl," he smiled. "You've got to have a talk with that sister of yours. I think Mommy's already poisoned her against the Clash. But we know the truth, don't we?"

As he reached into the fridge for the fresh bottle of milk, Becky nuzzled her head against his neck and he smiled. Both of his daughters were completely cuddly, and he loved moments like this, where he could spend quality time with just one of them, just Daddy and his little girl.

"I love you, Becky," he murmured into her hair.

Becky stared up at him for a moment as the microwave heated her bottle, a wide smile gracing her lips before she cuddled back into Derek's chest.

"That's my girl," he murmured as he pulled the bottle out of the microwave and moved back towards the stairs. "Let's have breakfast upstairs. But you have to be really quiet, because Mommy's sleeping for the first time since you two were born."

He gently pushed the door open, surprised to see Meredith laying in bed, Melanie cuddled tightly against her chest. "Hey," he said, moving towards the bed. "I didn't hear her, I would have taken care of it."

"It's okay," Meredith smiled, running her hand over Melanie's curls. "She wasn't crying, just whimpering. I figured you'd bring Becky up here and we could have some family time."

"Before I go back to work," Derek sighed as he sat down on the bed and offered Becky the bottle, which she eagerly began to suck on.

"It will be good, Der," Meredith sighed. "You can think about something besides dirty diapers and breast milk."

"But I'll be away from my girls all day," he sighed. "I'm going to miss you. All three of you."

"We'll miss you too," she smiled, reaching out to run a hand through his hair. "But you're a doctor. Who just took four and a half months off. You can't go back yet."

"But the girls came early," Derek sighed. "Technically I have two more weeks."

"Who says?" Meredith giggled.

"Me," Derek nodded. "I was supposed to have six weeks off after your original delivery. You delivered at thirty five weeks instead of thirty seven. Which means the girls should only be four weeks old, and I have two more weeks off."

"I'm going to blame that twisted logic on lack of sleep," Meredith sighed.

"What if one of them talks?" Derek asked.

"They're six weeks old."

"So?" Derek asked. "They're my children, they're geniuses."

"They just started giggling."

"Becky did," Derek sighed. "Miss Melanie hasn't quite grasped the concept yet."

"She will," Meredith nodded, pressing a kiss to Melanie's forehead. "We can't compare them to each other, Der. It's not healthy."

"I know," Derek nodded, setting Becky's bottle on the nightstand and shifting her to burp her. "Are you really going to make me go back to work?"

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "You're driving us crazy."

"What?" Derek frowned as Becky let out a soft burp and he moved her to rest on the bed. "Am I driving you crazy, butterfly?"

Becky looked up at him for a moment as he reached down to blow a raspberry on her bare tummy, causing her to giggle slightly.

"Maybe not her," Meredith sighed.

"Oh, Mel loves me too," Derek smiled, reaching for his look alike and laying her down next to her sister. "Right princess? Daddy's not driving you crazy."

Melanie stared up at him for a moment before she reached up to slap at his nose, echoing her sister's giggles as he pulled away with a frown. "Mel," Derek breathed, reaching down to blow a raspberry on her tummy as well, causing her giggles to increase as well. "You're laughing."

"Oh, sweetheart, good job," Meredith smiled, leaning down to kiss her forehead softly. "Mommy's proud of you."

"So is Daddy," Derek smiled. "Both my girls got Mommy's giggle. Which means my life is officially perfect."

"You have to go get ready for work," Meredith pointed out gently.

"And now it's not perfect anymore," Derek frowned.

"Sorry," she shrugged. "I'm practicing for when it's time to drag the girls out of bed for school."

"Well, you're just as annoying as my mom was," Derek sighed, leaning down to kiss each of his babies. "Daddy's going to go shower, girls. But Mommy's here, and I'll be back in a few minutes."

"Until he has to go to work," Meredith giggled as she leaned down to gently tickle her daughters' tummies.

"Mean," Derek sighed as he made his way towards the bathroom. He paused for a moment as he stopped to look at his wife. She was completely beautiful as she sat on their bed, the giggles of their little girls mixing with her own. She had been so nervous to be a mom, so sure that she was going to mess something up, but those fears had been completely unnecessary. There were moments like these when he loved to simply watch her as she cared for their babies, and in this single moment, he was sure that she had the capability to outshine his own mother in the amazing mom category.

"…now I know my ABC's, next time won't you sing with me," Meredith was singing softly a few minutes later as he walked out of the bathroom, a towel slung low around his hips. "That was fast," she said, glancing up at her husband.

He shrugged as he moved closer to the closet. "I didn't have as much time as I thought," he said.

Meredith glanced at the clock. "You're going to be late," she sighed.

"It'll be okay," Derek smiled, kissing the top of her head as he pulled his sweater down.

"Right, I'm sure my mother will agree with that," Meredith rolled her eyes, reaching for Melanie as she started to whimper. "Are you hungry, sweetheart? You didn't have breakfast."

"Give Daddy a kiss goodbye first," Derek sighed, kissing the top of her head quickly before Meredith pulled her shirt down. "I love you, princess. And you too butterfly," he said, picking Becky up and smiling softly as she cuddled into him. "Be good for Mommy today."

"They're fine, Derek," Meredith smiled, leaning back into the pillows, cradling Melanie close.

"If one of them gets a fever…"

"Baby Tylonel and warm washcloth," Meredith rolled her eyes. "And call the hospital if it's over 101."

"Right," Derek sighed. "And they like to be in the same crib for naptime."

"Derek," Meredith snapped. "I'm their mother. I was here when we found all of this out. I know what they need."

"I know," he sighed. "I just…hate not being here."

"We'll miss you," Meredith admitted softly. "But you have to go back. You're already too behind as it is. We'll be fine. We're going to have a girls' day."

"I know," he sighed. "I love you. And I'll call you when I get there."

"Don't freak out if I unplug the phone," she giggled. "And you will never be allowed back into this house if one of your phone calls wakes them up during nap time."

"I'll avoid naptime," Derek nodded, kissing her again before he laid Becky down on the bed in front of her. "Daddy loves you girls."

"Say bye Daddy," Meredith said, lifting Melanie to her shoulder and waving a tiny hand at him as he moved towards the door.

Derek closed the door to the bedroom behind him and leaned against the wall, taking a deep breath. He hated that he had to go back to work, but he knew he had to do it. And as much as he hated leaving his baby girls, he knew that Meredith could handle them. She was an amazing mother, completely in tune with everything Becky and Melanie needed from them, so he could do this. He could go to work and spend the day away from his perfect family.

XXXXX

"Hey, Shep," Mark grinned as Derek walked into the locker room. "Finally decided to come back to work."

"I was forced," Derek sighed, sliding out of his coat. "What are you doing here anyways? Isn't Addie's due date next week?"

"Yeah, I had to crab some things from my locker," Mark sighed. "And then I'm out of here for two months."

Derek smiled as he looked down at his cell phone. "I hope Mer's doing okay," he sighed.

"I thought you said Grey could handle your midgets."

"They're not midgets, they're babies," Derek rolled his eyes. "And she can handle them. I just hate that I'm not there for her."

"You have to work," Mark shrugged. "I'm sure she's fine."

Derek nodded, looking up at the ceiling. "I have to go see her mom," he sighed.

"Tell her you're back?" Mark asked.

"Yeah," Derek sighed. "I didn't tell Mer this because I didn't want her upsetting the girls right after they were born but…when they were in the hospital Ellis kept trying to see them. I wouldn't let her, I knew it would just upset Mer, but how am I supposed to work for a woman that my wife refuses to let her see our girls?"

"You've got yourself in a tricky spot, Shep," Mark sighed. "I don't envy you."

"Thanks for the advice," Derek sighed as he slid his lab coat on over his scrubs. "I guess I'll go face the wicked witch herself right now."

"Good luck," Mark laughed as Derek walked out of the room, running a hand through his hair.

When he reached Ellis's office, he stood outside the door for a moment before he knocked, pushing it open when he heard her distracted voice grant him entrance. "Dr. Grey," he acknowledged as he walked into the room.

"Dr. Shepherd," Ellis said with raised eyebrows as she looked up from her paperwork to meet his eyes. "So you've finally decided to return to your job."

"I love being a surgeon, Dr. Grey," Derek said firmly. "But my family needed me. I couldn't leave them alone."

"You know, only weak surgeons let foolish things like that get in their way of great success," Ellis said matter of factly.

"With all due respect, Dr. Grey, I disagree," Derek sighed. "And I truly don't want to have this argument with you again. If you would just let me sign any papers I need to in order to return…"

"The papers are here," Ellis sighed. "Now stop wasting my time and get to work."

"Thank you, Dr. Grey," Derek sighed, reaching into his pocket for a moment, his fingers trailing over the piece of paper he'd shoved in there earlier.

"Why are you still standing there?" Ellis snapped a few moments later.

"I…" Derek took a deep breath before he stepped forward. "As your son in law, not your resident, I have to tell you that I really hate the way you've treated Meredith. She's an amazing woman, and you have every reason to be proud of her, though I cannot for the life of me see why you're not."

"I don't need a lecture…" Ellis started.

"I'm not trying to lecture you," Derek said. "And although every instinct in my body is screaming against this…I'm going to do it anyways."

"Do what?" Ellis frowned, looking at him suspiciously.

Derek reached into his pocket and pulled out the piece of paper, handing Ellis the picture of his baby girls. "These are our daughters," he said. "The one on the right, that looks like Mer, that's Rebecca Elizabeth, but we call her Becky. And the one on the left who got the Shepherd looks is Melanie Emma. They're six weeks old tomorrow and they're probably the most beautiful babies the world has ever seen."

"Why are you showing me this?" Ellis asked.

"Because," Derek sighed. "You were a terrible mother, and I hate what you did to Meredith. But these are your grandchildren, and you at least deserve to know what they look like. And you should know that your daughter is the world's most amazing mother. I honestly thought that about my mom until about five weeks ago when I saw how amazing Meredith is with our daughters. So even though for some twisted reason you've never been able to be proud of her for her amazing compassion, for the love she has for teaching or her overall amazing way she sees the world, you should be proud of her for that. Because in spite of having an absent mother, she has somehow turned into a mom in a way that that most women will never be able to achieve."

Ellis stared down at the picture for a moment before she stood and moved to stand in front of him. "I have a hospital to run," she said simply as she held the picture out to him.

Derek frowned as he took the offered picture from her hands. "You don't even want to know about them?" he asked. "Your only grandchildren?"

"You've wasted enough of my time, Dr. Shepherd," Ellis said, opening the door to her office and gesturing for him to leave. "And since you're so out of practice in the OR, you can spend the day in the pit."

Derek sighed as he stepped back into the hallway, Ellis's door slamming behind him. He inhaled deeply as he looked down at the picture in his hand, unable to stop the smile that spread across his face at the image of his smiling daughters staring up at him. Their hands were clutched together as they often did when they slept in the same crib, and they were obviously learning from an early age to smile for the camera. He couldn't understand how anyone could look at this picture and not want to fall completely in love with the two perfect angels captured by the camera.

He smiled softly as he reached into his pocket for his cell phone, suddenly needing to hear Meredith's voice and the giggles of his daughters. Just one phone call, she wouldn't mind. One more phone call and then he would get back to work.


	82. Chapter 82

Meredith took a deep breath as she made her way into the kitchen after spending an hour in front of her jazzercise DVD. She'd found that nap time was the perfect time to work on losing her baby weight, and although it was going to take a long time, she was already starting to feel better about her body, and the week before she had actually managed to squeeze into the fat jeans she'd had before getting pregnant, which she'd considered a major milestone.

She was almost surprised with how much fun she was having at home with her girls. She had always planned on staying home with them, but somewhere in the back of her mind she had been worried that she would completely drop off the face of the planet, spending all of her time in the middle of the woods with two babies. She and Derek had fallen into a comfortable routine, feeding and cuddling with Becky and Melanie in bed before he had to leave for work, at which time she would put them into the bassinet beside her bed in hopes of getting another hour or so of precious sleep. Play time followed, and she was always amazed at how quickly her daughters were developing curiosity in the world around them. They did something new everyday, and she was always excited to see what new tricks they would come up with. After lunchtime was nap time, and then more play time, which Derek usually came home in time to be apart of. Their evenings consisted of bath time and reading, maybe the two of them watching a movie as they cuddled with their daughters.

She couldn't believe how unbelievably perfect her life was. Even if she was still fat and didn't sleep through the night, life was perfect.

As she downed the rest of her water, a soft whimper came over the baby monitor and she smiled as she tossed the bottle into recycle. "Mommy's coming, Mellie," she murmured, even though she knew her daughter couldn't hear her through this end of the baby monitor.

"Hi sweetie," she whispered, lifting Melanie out of her crib and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Did you have a nice nap?"

Melanie, still half asleep, rubbed her eyes tiredly as she nuzzled into her mother's embrace.

"Let's go sit on the porch while we wait for your sister to wake up," Meredith suggested, walking out of the room. "Daddy should be home soon, and then maybe we can convince him to take us out to dinner. You have to give him those eyes, remember the ones I told you he couldn't resist?"

Melanie giggled as Meredith grabbed the baby monitor from the kitchen and moved to sit on the front porch, holding Melanie in her lap. "You really are your father's daughter," she sighed. "You don't like sleeping at all, do you? Your sister sleeps a lot more than you do."

In the past few weeks, Becky and Melanie had each began to develop distinct personalities, perfect combinations of her and Derek. They each had their own characteristics that made them completely different, and she loved watching her daughters develop personalities.

"Your daddy doesn't like to sleep either," Meredith sighed. "But you do like to eat a lot, which you definitely get from me."

Melanie stared at Meredith for a moment before she turned to look out over the cliff with wide eyes.

"It's a pretty view, isn't it?" Meredith whispered, even though she knew Melanie couldn't really see that far. "This is your daddy's favorite place in the world. And Grandpa's too. Through those woods over there, there's a lake where Daddy likes to go fishing with Uncle Mark. And there's lots of room for you and Becky to run around when you're old enough. Maybe Daddy will even build you a swing set, and you can play on that."

Melanie giggled as a squirrel ran across the yard, and her head moved to follow the small animal across the yard.

"Can you see that, princess?" Meredith whispered. "You see the squirrel running across the grass?"

Melanie turned to look up at her mother and Meredith smiled softly. "You're getting so big," she whispered, leaning down to kiss her softly. "Pretty soon your daddy's going to be developing ulcers because of all the boys who want to date you. But we have some time to get him used to the idea."

As if on cue, Derek's car pulled up in front of the house, and Melanie turned to look at it with rapt fascination. "Daddy's home," Meredith whispered, tickling Melanie's tummy gently as Derek got out of the car, smiling slightly as he approached them on the outdoor couch.

Melanie giggled loudly at Meredith, her eyes widening when Derek grabbed his daughter out of Meredith's arms. "Hello my little princess," he smiled, holding her close to his chest. "Did you have a good day?"

"We did," Meredith smiled as Derek sat down beside her and pressed his lips against hers. "Did you?"

"Lost a patient," Derek sighed as Melanie nuzzled his neck, her fingers gripping his shirt tightly.

"Oh Der," Meredith sighed, leaning into his other shoulder. "Are you okay? Do you need anything?"

Derek shrugged as he pressed his lips to Melanie's head. "As okay as I can be," he sighed. "She helps. And so do you."

"Good," Meredith smiled.

"Where's Beck?" Derek murmured.

"Still sleeping," Meredith sighed.

"Long nap today?"

"She wasn't exactly interested in going to sleep when I wanted her to," Meredith sighed. "Stubborn girl."

"She really is your daughter," Derek laughed.

"What is that supposed to mean?" Meredith raised an eyebrow.

"You never want to go to sleep," Derek smiled.

"I have seven week old twins," Meredith rolled her eyes. "I always want to sleep."

"True, but…before you got pregnant."

"Well she's loud," Meredith smiled as she hooked her arm though his, leaning her head against his shoulder again. "She gets that from you."

Before Derek could respond, a soft cry came over the baby monitor and Meredith sighed as she pulled away from him. "I'll go get her."

"No," Derek shook his head, handing Melanie to her. "I'll get her. You've been doing that all day."

"Thanks," Meredith sighed as she leaned back against the cushions, holding Melanie close. "You're going to have a really hard time finding a man as amazing as your daddy," she murmured as she ran a finger over Melanie's cheek. "But don't tell him I told you that."

"Here we go," Derek sighed as he walked back onto the porch, Becky secure in his arms. "Shepherd family time."

"Hmm," Meredith sighed as she leaned into him again, her hand working over Melanie's back. "I'm sorry you had a bad day."

"This is more than making up for it," Derek murmured, pressing his lips against the top of her head.

Meredith was silent for a few moments, and she closed her eyes, completely relishing in the moment. The cool air of the early summer evening surrounded them as they sat together on the couch, their family completely content to simply sit together.

"Are you hungry?" Derek murmured a few moments later after her stomach rumbled softly.

"A little," she sighed. "But I don't want to move."

"Me either," Derek sighed. "But they're going to be hungry soon."

"They have a little while," Meredith whispered, rubbing Melanie's back. "They had a big lunch."

"Our daughters inherited your appetite," Derek smiled. "I'm going to go broke keeping my girls fed."

"That's mean," Meredith frowned.

"But true," Derek laughed as Melanie began to reach for Meredith's breasts. "She's hungry."

"I guess so," Meredith sighed. "I'll feed her while you make me dinner?"

"Of course," Derek said, following Meredith into the house and into the kitchen. He carefully set Becky in her bouncy chair that sat on the kitchen table and turned to Meredith as she held Melanie to her. "You want a pillow?"

"Please," Meredith nodded.

"How does spaghetti sound?" Derek asked as he returned from the living room with the requested pillow.

"Perfect," Meredith nodded as she adjusted Melanie against her.

Before Derek could reply, his cell phone vibrated from its place on his hip and he sighed as he reached down to look at it. "Mark," he laughed. "Probably more panicking advice about what to do with a very pregnant Addie."

"Don't laugh," Meredith rolled her eyes. "She's pregnant. It sucks."

"I remember," Derek nodded as he held the phone up to his ear. "Mark?"

"More like Mark Senior," Mark's proud voice came over the phone.

"What?" Derek frowned.

"Mark Sloan Jr. is here," Mark laughed. "And he's completely perfect."

"He's here?" Derek asked with a smile as he turned to look at Meredith who looked back at him with wide eyes.

"He is," Mark nodded. "Perfectly healthy."

"That's amazing," Derek breathed, and then frowned. "You named him after you?"

"Addison named him after me," Mark laughed. "Now get those beautiful girls of yours down here so he can figure out which one he wants to marry."

"We'll be down later," Derek said. "Congratulations, Mark. It's a great feeling, isn't it?"

"It really is," Mark said in a voice that Derek was sure he had never heard his best friend use before. "Bye Shep."

Derek smiled as he hung up the phone and turned to his wife. "Well, the world now has two Mark Sloans," he sighed. "And I know I said one of the girls can marry him, but I'm not sure that I want any daughter of mine to marry a Mark Sloan."

"You and Mark are such girls," Meredith rolled her eyes as she held Melanie against her shoulder, adjusting her shirt before she gently burped her daughter. "You were marrying them off before they were even born."

"Sloans and Shepherds go together," Derek shrugged. "It's only natural."

"I'll show you natural," Meredith rolled her eyes. "We'll get to go meet your new cousin tomorrow, sweetie."

"And see where Daddy works," Derek smiled as he turned to the stove.

Meredith smiled as she laid Melanie down in the bouncy chair beside Becky's and moved closer to her husband, wrapping her arms around his waist and resting her head against his back. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," Derek smiled, turning in her arms to wrap his own arms tightly around her.

"And you know…the girls are staying asleep for longer periods of time," she whispered, her hands moving to his hair.

"I have noticed that," Derek nodded.

"So I was thinking when we put them down tonight," she whispered. "We could maybe take a bath."

"We like baths."

"We do," Meredith giggled, pressing her lips against his. "And then…maybe candles?"

"And wine."

"Hmmm," she sighed. "Sparkling grape juice. I'm still breast feeding."

"Right," Derek laughed. "And we can't have drunk babies."

"We'd be very bad parents," Meredith giggled.

"Mer," he breathed as he pressed his hips into hers, his erection pressing against her stomach. "Are we…sex?"

"Yeah," she breathed. "I mean, I want to. But my body's not exactly back to pre-pregnancy yet, but I'm trying really hard and…"

"Mer," Derek smiled, rubbing his hips against hers. "In case you haven't been able to tell, I've been living with pretty much a constant hard on because of your hot new body."

"You mean the fat?" she rolled her eyes as she pulled away from him.

"No," he shook his head, grabbing her hips. "The curves. The ass. The huge boobs."

"Boobs are still off limits," Meredith murmured. "They're nourishing your daughters."

Derek sighed dramatically, but as Becky let out a soft cry, he shook his head. "I suppose I can't let my daughters starve," he said.

"What a good father," Meredith giggled, kissing him one last time before turning to Becky. "Okay, sweetie, dinner time." She smiled down at her daughter for a moment before she turned back to Derek. "Did Mark say how Addie's feeling?"

"He didn't say," Derek shrugged. "It must have been a fast delivery. I left the hospital two and a half hours ago and they weren't there."

"Hmm," Meredith sighed. "I hope she's feeling okay."

"She's probably just tired," Derek shrugged. "And delusional."

"What?" Meredith asked, a smile playing on her lips as she held Becky to her shoulder.

"She named the baby after Mark," Derek laughed. "No one would do that if they're in their right mind."

"Well…Addison loves him," Meredith pointed out. "That makes sense."

"Does that mean you're going to name our son after me?" Derek asked.

"We don't have a son."

"When we do," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Hmmm," Meredith sighed as she looked down at Becky. "What do think, Beck? You want a little brother named Derek Christopher?"

Becky gurgled slightly, but kept her head against Meredith's shoulder. "I think that means no," Meredith giggled.

"That's just wrong," Derek frowned.

"Derek, the last thing this world needs is another Mark Sloan and Derek Shepherd duo," Meredith giggled.

Derek laughed as he poured the spaghetti into the strainer. "You're probably right," he smiled. "I wouldn't wish the same torture on these little princesses that Mark and I put on my sisters."

"What did you do to them?" Meredith asked as she moved Becky into the playpen, Melanie following and then placed the bouncy chairs on the ground.

"Well, there was hair dye in the shampoo bottle," Derek smiled as he placed a plate in front of her. "And super glue in the nail polish bottles."

"That's just mean," Meredith said.

"My favorite was actually the five of us against Mark," Derek laughed. "We duct taped him to the bed."

"What?" Meredith giggled. "How did you do that?"

"The man can sleep through anything," Derek smiled. "And we thought it would be funny."

"What did he do?" Meredith asked.

"He screamed until my mom took pity on him," Derek sighed. "And then he got revenge by putting my frog in the microwave."

Meredith giggled as she reached for his hand. This was good. She hadn't even realized that she missed spending time with her husband, but this was nice. Her daughters were giggling together in the play pen, and she could talk to her husband. Her life was amazing.


	83. Chapter 83

"You remembered the stuffed animals?" Meredith asked as Derek pulled into Mark and Addison's driveway.

"They're in the back," Derek laughed. "Although Becky seemed to think they were for her."

"Like she doesn't have enough of her own," Meredith giggled. "There are times when I go to grab them out of the cribs and I don't even know where they are, there's too many stuffed animals."

"They're not that spoiled," Derek frowned as he shut off the engine and moved to the trunk for the diaper bag.

"They kind of are," she laughed as she reached to take Melanie out of the car seat. "Right sweetie? You and your sister are very spoiled. But it's okay, because you deserve it."

"Loved," Derek argued as he pulled Becky into her arms. "You ready to meet your cousin Mark?"

Becky cooed slightly, giggling as Derek carried her towards the door. Meredith smiled as she rang the doorbell, turning to look at Derek. "You're sure Addison's okay for visitors?" she asked. "Because remember when you told Lexie and George it was okay to come over when I hadn't slept in forty hours and your daughters screamed the entire time causing me to have a nervous breakdown?"

"That was different," Derek sighed. "And apparently Mark's a pretty quiet baby, not like our little hellions."

"I kind of hate Addison right now."

"Shep!" Mark announced as he flung the door open. "Where are my nieces?"

"Right here," Derek smiled, holding Becky out to him. "They're starting to get a little shy, she might not stay with you for long."

"I'm her Uncle Mark, she loves me," Mark grinned, staring down at the baby. "Are you ready to meet your future husband?"

"You're pathetic," Meredith rolled her eyes as she and Derek followed Mark into the house. "Hey Addie."

"Mer," Addison smiled, looking up from the newborn cradled into her arms. "How are you?"

"I'm good," Meredith said, handing Melanie to Derek before sitting down on the couch. "Hi Mark," she breathed.

"He's a great baby," Addison smiled as Meredith offered the baby her finger. "He's got a lot of me in him."

"Hey!" Mark protested, causing Becky to burst into tears at the sound of his loud, powerful voice.

"Come here sweetie," Meredith breathed, reaching for her daughter and rubbing her back gently.

"Is she okay?" Mark asked.

"She's fine," Meredith nodded. "They're just clingy, and a little skittish around anyone besides me and Derek."

"Okay," Mark sighed.

"There we go," Meredith smiled she rubbed Becky's back gently, her sobs calming to small hiccups. "Look, sweetie. There's your cousin Mark. You're going to spend a lot of time with him."

Becky stared at the baby in Addison's arms for a moment, her eyes widening as Mark's hand reached out, brushing against Becky's. "She's so curious," Addison smiled as she reached a free hand out to run a hand over Becky's curls. "You look like your mommy. Very pretty."

"I know," Meredith smiled as she kissed the baby's head. "You want to play, sweetie? Let's get your blanket on the ground and you and Mellie can play with the toys we brought."

"So are you going to call the baby Mark?" Derek asked as he handed Melanie to Mark and spread their blanket on the ground.

"Why not?" Mark asked, his voice significantly softer than it had been as Melanie looked up at him with curious eyes. "It's a good strong name. Mark Jacob Sloan. A man's name."

"I didn't say it wasn't," Derek rolled his eyes. "I just thought it might get confusing with two Marks."

"We haven't decided yet," Addison sighed. "I think we might call him Jake. His middle name's Jacob."

"That's a good idea," Meredith smiled. "But while I'm thinking about it, thanks for planting the idea of naming our son after Derek in his idiot brain. I really appreciate that."

"Sorry," Addison laughed. "This is why we should have picked a name out before I had him. No one should be allowed to name their child immediately after giving birth. They end up regretting it."

"I'm starting to take offense from this conversation," Mark frowned as he placed Melanie on the blanket beside Becky, Derek and Meredith kneeling on the floor in front of the girls."

"Don't take offense," Addison sighed as she handed him the baby. "He looks like a Jake."

"I suppose," Mark sighed, looking down at his son. "Hey, Jake. I guess it works. You can be Jake."

Meredith smiled as she leaned into Derek. "Look at them," she whispered. "They're so happy."

"They are," Derek smiled, wrapping an arm around her. "Just like us. A completely happy family."

"Hmm," Meredith smiled.

"Alright, it's my turn to change the dirty diaper," Mark sighed as he stood. "You need anything Addie?"

"I'm good," she nodded, smiling up at him.

"How are you feeling?" Meredith asked as she left Derek on the floor and moved to sit beside her friend on the couch.

"Okay," Addison sighed as she reached for a water bottle. "Tired, but really happy. I love him so much."

"Get used to it," Derek laughed. "The girls are two months old and we're still tired. We will be for years."

"They're sleeping a little better," Meredith nodded. "Only waking up once a night. Of course not at the same time, but it's better than waking up six or seven times a night. That was horrible."

Addison smiled as she looked down at the babies on the floor, smiling as Melanie looked at the teddy bear Derek held above their heads. "They're getting so big," she commented.

"I know," Meredith sighed. "I feel like I was just in your position, completely exhausted after giving birth and staying awake all night. And now they can practically talk. Next thing I know they'll be walking."

"Derek's a great father," Addison observed as she watched him lean down to tickle Becky's stomach, causing her to giggle loudly.

"He is," Meredith smiled, her eyes on her husband. "He's amazing. He finds time to do it all. Be an amazing father, a great husband, and make up for all the time he took off of work. I don't know how he does it, I'm completely busy just being Mommy. Derek's good about reminding me to be Meredith."

"Well, you look fantastic," Addison said, looking at Meredith's waist. "Have you lost all your weight?"

"I wish," Meredith sighed. "I've still got three sizes to drop to get down to my pre pregnancy body."

"Well, you're going to have to tell me your secret," Addison sighed. "I still feel like a cow."

"You look great," Meredith said. "Definitely not a cow. And you only had one baby. Try having two."

Addison sighed as she leaned into the couch. "Mark says that too," she breathed. "But I'm not sure I believe him."

"It's only been a week," Meredith smiled. "You'll get back into shape. Make sure you use nap time to work out. It works well."

"Hmmm," Addison sighed. "I wish I could take as much time off as you are. I want to stay with him."

"It's been nice," Meredith sighed, reaching into the diaper bag to hand Derek a bottle as Becky began to whimper. "I think I'm going to miss teaching in the fall though. With all the back to school stuff…it will be hard. But worth it."

"Mer, we've got a diaper situation here," Derek announced as he held Becky tightly in his arms.

"Can you take care of it?" she asked.

"I'm feeding Becky."

"She can hold the bottle herself."

Derek sighed as he looked down at Becky, sucking eagerly at the bottle. "She wants Daddy to hold her."

"I think Daddy doesn't want to change a diaper," Meredith rolled her eyes as she moved to kneel in front of Melanie.

"Never," Derek laughed.

"So," Mark announced as he entered the room, his son cradled in his arms. "I've been thinking."

"Always a scary preface," Derek rolled his eyes as he looked down at Becky.

"Wait until you've heard it, Shep," Mark rolled his eyes. "We should have dinner."

"It's eleven in the morning."

"Not right now," Mark said. "Like how Mom does dinner every Sunday. We should do it every Friday or something. Give the kids some play time, and us some time to be real adults."

"That's actually a good idea," Meredith said as she snapped Melanie's onesie back up. "We're bringing the girls to dinner at Mom's tonight."

"We'll host it next week," Addison said, reaching for her baby. "Jake shouldn't leave the house yet."

"Derek will cook," Meredith offered.

"Of course, Derek doesn't mind," he rolled his eyes.

"Well, you won't let me cook," Meredith argued.

"I'd prefer not to build another house after you burn this one to the ground."

"Mark can't cook either," Meredith nodded. "And Addison's too tired. Which means you're the only one left."

"Fine," Derek laughed, kissing her quickly. "I will be cooking."

"Good," Mark nodded.

Before anyone else could respond, Meredith's phone rang and she frowned as she looked down at it. "It's Liz," she sighed. "Probably more questions about the baby."

Derek laughed. "Tell her the poking in her stomach is normal, it's just the baby moving," he said.

"Shut up," Meredith rolled her eyes. "She's scared."

"Meredith," Liz giggled from the other end of the line. "I just had a doctor's appointment."

"I take it the baby's healthy?" Meredith smiled as she placed a teddy bear in Melanie's hands and watched her daughter examine it closely.

"He's fine," Liz giggled.

"He?" Meredith asked. "You're having a boy?"

"I am," Liz giggled. "Shawn's getting his boy."

"Is he there?" Meredith asked.

"He is," Liz breathed. "And…there's more."

"More?" Meredith asked. "You're not having twins too, are you?"

"Definitely not," Liz giggled. "But…you have to promise you won't get mad."

"I won't," Meredith nodded.

"And you'll calm Derek down," Liz nodded. "Because he will be mad."

"Liz," Meredith breathed. "What did you do?"

"Shawn and I….we kind of got married," Liz said.

"You got married?" Meredith cried, causing Derek's head to snap up in surprise.

"At town hall," Liz nodded. "And no one else knows. We're telling the family tonight, but I wanted to tell you because you know that you'll be on our side."

"Of course," Meredith smiled. "But I have to go. Your brother looks like his head's about to explode, and I need to get my babies out of his hands before that happens."

"Thanks, Mer," Liz giggled. "I'll see you tonight."

"Bye Liz," Meredith smiled as she hung up. "So," she smiled, bring Melanie to rest in her lap. "You have a new uncle. And in a couple months, you're going to have a new baby boy cousin."

"They got married?" Derek asked incredulously.

"Yep," Meredith smiled, tickling Melanie's stomach gently.

"Meredith."

"What?"

"My sister just got married and all you can say is yep?"

"What else do you want me to say?" she asked. "It's done."

"She just got married when she's six months pregnant."

"And they're in love," Meredith shrugged. "What's the big deal?"

"They just got married," Derek replied. "Without their family."

"Derek, if they had called and said they were getting married, what would you have done?" Meredith asked.

"I…." Derek frowned as he looked down at a cooing Becky.

"You would have gone all caveman and driven over there, demanding that they never see each other again," Meredith nodded. "Derek, they know you."

"They didn't need to get married just because they're pregnant," Derek replied. "Look at Mark and Addison."

"Hey!" Mark frowned. "We were engaged when we got pregnant. Not broken up like Liz and that frat boy."

"Whatever," Derek rolled his eyes. "I don't like it."

"You're going to have a new nephew," Meredith said with a wide smile. "Come on, Der, the boys are catching up."

Derek frowned. "But…I was supposed to give her away," he said.

"She did things her way," Meredith shrugged. "Remember when everyone wanted us to have their kind of wedding? We did it our way, and so is Liz. You can't be mad at her for that."

Derek frowned as he looked down at Becky. "You're right," he sighed. "Our wedding was perfect. For us. And now we're even. Three girls and three boys."


	84. Chapter 84

"Becky, sweetheart, don't put that in your mouth," Meredith giggled as she reached out to take her cell phone out of her hands. "You can play with your rattle. Look at Mel, she's playing with hers. Watch your sister."

"They're so active," Emma smiled as she walked into her living room, two cups of tea in her hand.

"They are," Meredith smiled, graciously accepting the cup of tea as she curled into the couch, watching her daughters wiggle on the floor. "I can't believe how big they're getting."

"Well, you can get used to that feeling, dear," Emma sighed. "I can't believe I'm about to have six grandchildren."

"And your son is already pushing for seven," Meredith rolled her eyes. "He actually thinks I want another baby right now."

"The girls are barely two months old," Emma laughed. "I don't think he'd rationally want another one either."

"According to him we need to act now if we want to ensure that the boys beat the girls in this generation," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Apparently there's no doubt that our next one will be a boy."

"I hope you told him that he's going to have to wait a little while before that happens," Emma smiled.

"Three years," Meredith nodded. "I want there to be a solid age difference between the girls and any other siblings."

"You're a smart woman," Emma nodded.

"Married to an idiot," Meredith giggled as she moved to the floor, Emma following her. "Alright, smelly Mellie, let's change your diaper."

Emma reached out to take Becky's rattle from her hands, playing with her grand daughter as she watched Meredith gently change Melanie's diaper. "You're a wonderful mother, Meredith," she murmured.

Meredith smiled softly as she reached for a clean diaper. "That's what everyone keeps telling me," she said.

"Because it's true," Emma smiled, reaching to cradle Becky close to her. "Your children clearly love you."

"They have to," Meredith smiled down at Melanie. "I'm their mother. I feed them, so they love me."

"That's true," Emma nodded. "But I've seen lots of new mothers, and you're outshining them all."

Meredith smiled as she set Melanie back on the blanket, turning to shove the dirty diaper into a plastic bag to be thrown away later. "That's a real compliment coming from…" she trailed off as she turned back to the blanket, seeing Melanie resting on her right side as she reached for her rattle. "Melanie," she breathed. "Oh sweetheart, good job. That was amazing."

"Is this a first?" Emma asked with a smile.

"It is," Meredith murmured, blinking back tears as Melanie flopped back onto her back. "Oh, wow."

"It's amazing, isn't it?" Emma murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of Becky's head and placing her on the blanket.

"It really is," Meredith breathed, picking Melanie up and kissing her cheek. "Good job, sweetheart. Mommy's so proud of you. So is Grandma. You'll have to do this again for Daddy when he comes over. He'll be here soon."

"Assuming he'll be able to get away from hearing Mark talk about Jake," Emma laughed. "Apparently Addison had a check up today, and Mark was planning on showing him off at the hospital."

"He is a really proud father," Meredith nodded. "He's giving Derek a run for his money."

"Derek loves his girls more than anything in the world," Emma smiled. "I've never seen his eyes light up more than when he looks at these little angels. He's out doing his own father."

"Believe me, I know," Meredith laughed, shaking Melanie's rattle above her head. "I'm old news. He only pays attention to me when the girls are sleeping. Which thankfully is longer periods of time now."

"I'm sure that's not true," Emma said.

"Not really," Meredith smiled. "I just had a little bit of an adjustment period to not being the center of Derek's universe anymore."

"I remember that feeling," Emma smiled. "When I first came home with Kathleen the only time Michael paid attention to me was when he wanted me to change a dirty diaper. But we worked it out."

"Hmmm," Meredith nodded. "We've had to be a little more creative with spending time together, but I think we've finally made it work."

"Good," Emma nodded. "My son loves you, and I'd hate to have to lecture him because he's not being a good husband."

"He's an amazing husband," Meredith nodded. "Right, Mellie? You saw the dinner Daddy made for Mommy last week with candles and sparkling grape juice. Because I'm still feeding you, and we don't want drunk babies. Then they'd take you away from us, and we don't want that."

"Drunk babies would be a very bad thing," Emma laughed. "But I'm glad you're getting some time together."

"Me too," Meredith sighed. "We're thinking about maybe going out, just the two of us sometime soon."

"Separation anxiety is making that hard, I assume," Emma said. "They're both pretty shy."

"I think I have more separation anxiety than they do," Meredith sighed. "I've never left them."

"It's hard," Emma nodded. "I remember. But you have to do it eventually. And you know I'm more than happy to watch them whenever you need me to. They are my only Shepherd grandchildren."

"I know," Meredith nodded, leaning down to tickle Melanie. "What do you say, sweetie? Do you want to spend a night at Grandma's?"

"I think that sounds like a wonderful idea," Derek announced as he walked into the living room, sitting down in between his mom and wife. "How are my girls? I missed you today."

"We're good," Meredith smiled, handing him Melanie's rattle. "Hold this to the side of Mel's head."

"Why?" he asked, taking the rattle and holding it to the side of her head, gasping as she rolled onto her side, reaching for it. "Oh, wow."

"That's what I said," Meredith giggled.

"They're getting so big," Derek breathed.

"I know," Meredith sighed.

"Before you know it, they'll be grown and having children of their own," Emma said softly. "And not even acknowledging you when they walk into the room like you just did."

Derek rolled his eyes as he leaned in to kiss his mother's cheek. "Sorry," he said. "Hi Mom."

"Hi dear," she smiled as she ran a hand over his hair. "How was your day? Any interesting surgeries?"

"Pretty good," Derek nodded. "Saved three lives."

"No one likes arrogance, dear," Emma sighed as she handed Becky to him as the baby giggled up at him.

"Thanks Mom, I'm glad you're proud of me."

"Of course I'm proud," Emma smiled. "But a little modesty never hurt anyone, you know that."

"Yeah Derek," Meredith smirked.

"You hush," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Alright," Emma sighed as she stood. "I'm going to start supper. I'm more than happy that you're staying."

"Do you need help?" Derek asked without looking up from Becky as he tickled her stomach.

"I'm alright dear," Emma said. "Although…"

"What?" Derek asked, looking up at his mother as he noticed the sudden change in her voice.

"I think it's high time your daughters met their grandfather," Emma said softly, looking at him carefully.

"Oh," Derek breathed, pulling Becky into his arms and inhaling her soft scent that was uniquely baby.

"Think about it," Emma said gently, leaning down to kiss the top of her son's head and turning towards the kitchen.

"Derek," Meredith sighed, lifting Melanie to rest against her chest and looking at him carefully. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," he sighed, kissing Becky's head carefully. "I…is that okay with you? If we take them to meet Dad?"

"Of course," she smiled. "Today's the perfect day. No rain, it's warm, they're old enough to stay outside for a little while as long as we shade their faces and stay out of the sun."

"Good thing they have those pink Yankees baseball hats," Derek laughed as he stood, Meredith following suit.

"Right," Meredith rolled her eyes. "They're totally going to be Red Sox fans. Boston girls at heart."

"Are you having the baseball argument again?" Emma asked, a sparkle in her eyes as she looked up from her chicken.

"We'll never stop," Derek laughed. "So…we're going to bring the girls to see Dad."

Emma smiled softly as she squeezed his hand. "He'll be happy, dear," she murmured. "I've told him all about them."

"They've heard about him too," Derek sighed. "I just…it's hard."

"I know," Emma nodded, tears filling her eyes. "But he deserves it."

"He does," Derek nodded sadly.

"Come on, Der," Meredith said, reaching or his hand. "I'll drive."

"Okay," he sighed, following her out of the house. He was completely silent as they walked out of the house and strapped the girls into their car seats, and as soon as she backed the car out of the driveway he reached for her right hand and held onto it tightly. She squeezed his hand as she drove the short distance to the cemetery, turning to him when she parked the car beside the road.

"Derek," she said softly. "If this is too hard…"

"No," he shook his head, squeezing her hand. "We need to do this. I want to do this. I just…it's hard."

"I know," she smiled, leaning forward to kiss him quickly. "It's been a long time since we were here."

"Since we found out they were girls," Derek nodded.

"So…let's go visit Dad," Meredith smiled, squeezing his hand one last time before she slid out of the car and reached for Becky. "Come on, sweetie," she whispered. "You have to be good here. No loud crying, okay?"

"Listen to Mommy," Derek nodded as he cradled Melanie close to him, reaching for Meredith's hand with his free one. "We have to make a good impression for Grandpa."

They carefully made their way across the grass of the cemetery, stopping when they reached the familiar site of Michael's grave. Derek inhaled sharply as he knelt down on the ground, Meredith following suit.

"Hi, Dad," Derek murmured. "Sorry we haven't been to visit in awhile."

"We've been busy," Meredith smiled. "As you can see."

"These are our daughters," Derek smiled down at Melanie. "Your granddaughters."

"This is Rebecca Elizabeth," Meredith smiled. "Also known as Becky."

"And this is my princess," Derek said. "Melanie Emma."

"Girls, this is your grandpa," Meredith murmured. "We're very sad that you'll never going to meet him. He was a very good man."

"And he loves you very much," Derek added. "Dad…I can't believe how amazing these girls are. Being a father…it's incredible."

"Our daughters really are amazing," Meredith said as she stroked Becky's cheek. "And Derek is an amazing father."

"Which works well because Mer's an amazing father," Derek said, smiling warmly at his wife.

"We all miss you though," Meredith sighed. "I know Mom comes a lot, but…we should come more."

"It was a hard pregnancy," Derek continued. "Bed rest and then she had to deliver a couple weeks early, but it was completely worth it. Everyone was completely safe and healthy, and now the two most beautiful girls in the world are ours."

"They're already getting so big," Meredith murmured. "And are starting to have such real personalities."

"Mel looks exactly like me," Derek smirked. "She's even got the Shepherd hair."

"And Becky looks like me," Meredith nodded. "But she's stubborn like her daddy."

"Because Mommy isn't stubborn at all," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," Meredith giggled. "So we just wanted the girls to meet their grandpa. And say hi and we miss you."

"We'll be back soon," Derek nodded. "It's actually not raining as much, so…we can bring the girls out here a lot."

Becky began to squirm in Meredith's arms, looking up at her mother with tear filled eyes, and Meredith sighed. "I think she needs a diaper change," she sighed. "Do you want me to take Mellie?"

"No, it's okay," Derek shook his head, turning back to the gravestone. "We've got to go, Dad. Our lives aren't really our own anymore."

"But they're amazing," Meredith sighed. "Bye, Daddy. We'll be back soon."

"Bye, Dad," Derek murmured. "Thanks for helping me to be a good dad. I hope I can do half as well as you did."

Meredith smiled as they stood, making their way back to the car. "Are you okay?" she asked softly as she opened the trunk and laid out a small blanket, resting Becky on it as she reached for a new diaper.

"Yeah," Derek nodded, planting a kiss to the top of Melanie's head. "I'm glad we did that."

"Me too," Meredith nodded as she slid Becky's pants back on. "I wish he was here."

"So do I," Derek sighed, pulling her and a clean Becky into his arms. "But this….it's pretty nice."

"Yeah," Meredith smiled as she snuggled into his arms and closer to her daughters. "It really is."

"We should leave the girls with Mom sometime soon," Derek murmured into her hair. "I miss you."

"I miss you too," Meredith admitted softly, pressing her lips against his quickly before moving back towards the car. "Let's go have dinner with Mom," she smiled as she moved to place Becky in her car seat. She loved her daughters, but she knew she had to trust them with someone else for at least a little bit so she could have a life besides Mommy.


	85. Chapter 85

"Okay, girls, we're all bathed and into pajamas," Derek smiled down at his daughters in the playpen. "Now let's have a little talk, okay? Mommy and Daddy are going to go out and have a special night, just the two of us. We both love you a lot, but we have to have some time for the two of us as well. But we're not leaving you with a stranger, we're leaving you with Grandma. And you'll probably spend a lot of time with her because she loves you a lot, and she lives really close. A really long time from now when Mommy goes back to being a teacher, you'll probably stay with her all day, so you should get used to her taking care of you. Mommy and Daddy are only going to be gone for a couple of hours, and if you're good for Grandma, we'll have some extra special family time tomorrow. How's that sound?"

Melanie smiled up at him with wide eyes and Becky giggled as she rolled over to reach for the teddy bear in the corner of the playpen.

"Good," Derek smiled, reaching for a book that sat on the coffee table. "How about a book?" he asked. "I know you love when Daddy reads to you."

Before he could open the cover, however, the doorbell rang and Meredith's voice rang out from the top of the stairs. "Derek, can you let your mom in?"

"Sure!" he called back sighing as he looked down at his daughters. "Sorry princesses, I'll be right back and then Grandma will read to you."

He made his way to the front door, smiling as he let his mom in and kissed her cheek quickly. "Hi Mom."

"Hi sweetheart," she smiled. "Are you excited for a night out with Meredith?"

"I am," Derek smiled. "It's been too long."

"I'm glad you're doing this now," Emma smiled as she followed Derek into the living room. "There are my beautiful granddaughters."

"Here they are," Derek smiled as Emma leaned down to pick Becky up. Before he could say anything else, he paused as Meredith walked into the room, suddenly forgetting to breath.

His wife, the woman who over the past two months had been dubbed the most amazing mother alive, had somewhat forgotten what it meant to get dressed up. Not that he ever would have asked her to in her exhausted state, but when they'd decided to go out to a nice dinner together, he had expected a pair of nice jeans and a sweater, maybe a pair of heels. But now she stood before them in a short black dress that showed off her new breasts the perfect amount. The soft material clung to her hips, and her long legs ended in a pair of black heels he knew she knew he loved. Her hair curled around her face that was done up with just a hint of make up, and she was smiling nervously at Emma.

"Wow," he heard himself saying.

"Wow?" Meredith raised an eyebrow.

"You look…amazing."

"Thanks," she said, blushing as she looked down at her feet for a moment before moving to the play pen as Emma set Becky back down. "Okay," she sighed, pulling a blanket up over both girls. "They ate about an hour ago, and Derek just bathed them and put them in their PJs. Bed time is in about a half an hour, which means you should probably start now. We usually each read them a book with them in our laps, but you can keep them in the playpen if you don't want to hold them both at the same time. Their diapers should be changed once more before bed, and make sure you cuddle with them before putting them down. Melanie likes to sleep with her teddy bear beside her, and Becky will scream bloody murder if she's put on her stomach. She's almost got the rolling over thing down, but not quite, so be sure to put her on her back. They probably won't wake up again until midnight, so we should be home, but let me show you where the bottles are…"

"Meredith," Emma said, reaching for her daughter in law's hand. "I know you're nervous about this, but I have cared for babies before."

"I know," Meredith sighed as she knelt in front of the play pen. "I just…I've never left them before, and I'm sure that I'm forgetting something important."

"It will be just fine," Emma smiled. "They'll play with Grandma for a little bit before I put them in their cribs and finish my novel."

"Maybe you should put them in the same crib," Meredith bit her lower lip. "I mean, they usually don't sleep together at night, but when they nap they like to be together, and since I'm not here…"

"Mer," Derek sighed, reaching out to rub his wife's shoulder gently. "It's okay. They love Mom, and she knows what she's doing. We'll go have a nice dinner, just the two of us, and then we'll come straight home. We need this."

"I know," Meredith sighed as she leaned down to kiss Becky's head, then Melanie's. "Bye girls," she whispered, trying to blink back tears. "Mommy loves you, and she and Daddy will be home soon."

"Be good for Grandma," Derek nodded, kissing each girl as well before he took Meredith's hand and pulled her towards the door.

"Oh!" Meredith cried, running back into the living room. "If either of them gets a fever, make sure you call the pediatrician, whose phone number is on the fridge and in the first drawer of the changing table. And then call Derek. The thermometer is…"

"Mer," Derek sighed, coming back into the room and meeting his mom's amused expression. "We're going to miss our reservations."

"Are you sure we should go?" she asked. "Melanie slept for longer than usual today, she might be coming down with something, and if I'm not here…"

"She's fine," Derek said, grabbing her hand. "You're upsetting them with all this worry."

"Okay," Meredith nodded, looking at Emma one last time. "Call if anything goes wrong. Please."

"Of course, dear," Emma nodded. "Enjoy your dinner. And be sure to talk about something besides your girls."

"Right," Meredith sighed, taking a deep breath before she walked out of the house quickly, Derek close behind. "I'm sorry," she whispered as she stopped on the porch, brushing tears out of her eyes.

"Sorry?" Derek asked, brushing her hands away to allow his own hands to wipe away her tears. "What in the world do you have to be sorry for?"

"I just…I've never left them," Meredith breathed. "And you want to have a nice date and so do I and I can't stop worrying."

"I know," Derek sighed, pulling her into his arms. "I know it's hard. But they're in good hands. And we'll be quick. I promise."

"Okay," Meredith nodded, pulling back to look up at him.

"Besides, I don't know how long I'll be able to look at you without dragging you home to ravish you," Derek laughed.

"Oh really?" Meredith asked, the hint of a smile playing on her lips.

"Really," Derek nodded, a hand brushing against her breast. "These are too good to pass up."

"Later, Dr. Shepherd," Meredith said coyly as she turned to walk down the steps of the porch, her hips swaying with every step. "You owe me a date."

Derek groaned as he watched her long legs carry her towards the car and he shook his head. He had to be a gentleman for now. He could do naughty things to her later, but for now he had to be a gentleman.

XXXXX

"Well," Meredith sighed a couple hours later as he followed her up the stairs to the porch. "Dinner was wonderful."

"You're very welcome," Derek smiled, reaching his hands out to her hips to pull her closer.

"Is this my good night kiss?" Meredith giggled against his lips.

"Hmmm," Derek sighed. "Definitely not. There will be lots of other kisses."

"You think I'm going to put out on the first date?" Meredith gasped. "What kind of woman do you think I am?"

"A very hot one," Derek murmured.

"Well, that may have been just the right thing to say," Meredith giggled before she turned and opened the door. "Mom?"

"Oh, there you are," Emma smiled as she walked out of the living room. "I was just beginning to wonder where you were."

"Is everything okay?" Meredith asked as she slid out of her coat.

"They were just wonderful," Emma nodded. "They went down about an hour after you left, and haven't made a peep since."

"Wonderful," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to his mom's cheek. "It's late, do you want to sleep in a guest room?"

"I'll be fine driving, dear," Emma smiled. "Did you two have a nice evening?"

"It was wonderful," Meredith breathed, leaning into Derek.

"Good," Emma smiled as she reached for her purse. "Call me tomorrow, Derek."

"I will," Derek nodded, hugging her again before moving to open the door for her. "Good night, Mom."

"Drive safely," Meredith added as Emma made her way down the porch steps.

"Well," Derek breathed, wrapping his arms around Meredith. "I believe we're alone now, Mrs. Shepherd."

"I believe we are," she smiled, wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him gently. "Before we get sexy though…I want to check on the girls."

"Definitely," Derek nodded, taking her hand and pulling her towards the stairs.

The night light spread a soft glow over the nursery, and Meredith moved quietly to Melanie's crib, rubbing the baby's back softly for a moment before leaning down to kiss her gently. She turned to Derek, who was paying Becky similar attention and smiled as she met his eyes. They switched cribs for a moment before Derek tugged on her hand and led her towards the door.

"They're okay," she breathed as she closed the door behind her.

"Did you think my mom was going to hurt them?" Derek asked.

"No," she rolled her eyes. "I just…it was hard."

"I know," Derek laughed. "Now…sexy time?"

"Definitely sexy time," Meredith breathed as she followed him into the bedroom. She moved to switch on the baby monitor before she turned to Derek, reaching for the buttons on his shirt. "I'm going to have to ask you to get naked," she purred.

"And you're not?" Derek asked, his brain already going fuzzy. She was in a creative mood tonight, and he couldn't even remember the last time they'd had wild sex. Probably before they'd even known she was pregnant.

"Oh I will," she nodded. "But…if you want your surprise, you're going to have to get naked."

"Surprise?" Derek asked as she slid the shirt over his shoulders, gently nibbling at his skin before she let it drop to the floor.

"Yes," she breathed as she reached for his belt buckle. "You see…you've been a very patient man, waiting for me. And I know it hasn't been easy. This past week…all I could think about was you filling me."

"Hmm," Derek moaned as she slid his pants and boxers to the ground, shoving him onto the bed as soon as he was completely naked. "So what's this surprise?" he asked huskily.

"Well," Meredith sighed, reaching for the zipper on her dress and gently stepping out of it, leaving her in front of him in a piece of sexy place lingerie that showed off her new very well. They spilled over the cleavage, and the see through fabric led down to the place where her legs met that he could only imagine was already wet. She kept her heels on as she moved towards him, crawling onto the bed and on top of him.

"This is a thank you," she breathed. "For being an amazing husband."

"Mer," he groaned as he kissed her deeply. "Oh, God."

"You like your surprise?" she breathed.

"I love it," he nodded. "But I love you naked more."

Meredith smiled as she moved one leg to run across his chest, reaching for the strap on her heels. "That can be arranged," she breathed.

Derek planted kisses around her ankle as he gently slid the shoe off, repeating the action with the other foot before reaching for her lingerie. "Mer," he gasped as her full breasts spilled into his face. "Is it…can I?"

"I switched to formula," she murmured, bringing his head to her nipple and gasping in pleasure as he sucked gently on it. "Derek…"

"Mer," he gasped as she shifted to straddle him. "You…you take control."

"I don't think you have much of a choice, Dr. Shepherd," Meredith breathed as she slowly lowered herself onto his throbbing erection. "Oh…"

"Meredith," Derek gasped as she gently moved her hips in a figure eight position.

"You…want do you want?" she gasped as she stilled her motions, her hands moving through his hair as she squeezed herself around him.

"Ride me," Derek gasped, his head falling back against the pillows. "Oh god, please ride me…"

"Yes," Meredith nodded as she began to move quickly over him, her full breasts bouncing with every thrust. "Oh, Derek…you're so hard. And so big…"

"Meredith," he gasped, his hands moving to her hips as he crashed his lips against hers. "Yes…yes!"

"Oh God," she gasped as his hips rocked into hers. "God, Derek…" her nails began to claw against his chest but he didn't care as he felt his orgasm building.

"Mer," he moaned, drawing out her name as she increased her speed. "Oh, yes…don't stop."

Meredith grinned as she continued to move over him, leaning down to whisper in his ear. "Derek," she breathed. "You feel so good inside me. So hard and perfect…"

Derek only groaned in response, arching his back to get deeper into her.

"You love when I'm in control," Meredith said with a smirk. "Even though it drives you crazy that you can't do what you want to me, you love it when I ride you hard, taking your hard, huge cock into me as far as I can. You love it when I fuck you hard."

"Oh," Derek gasped, his eyes rolling back in his head as his thighs tightened. "God, Meredith…"

Meredith smiled slyly as she reached between them squeezing his balls tightly as she felt him begin to release into her. "Not yet," she ordered.

"Wha…" Derek gasped, already feeling the need for sweet release.

"I'm not ready," Meredith replied as she began to move herself over him even harder, bracing herself against the headboard with one hand, the other still preventing him from release.

"Oh God," Derek shouted, his body thrashing beneath hers as her walls began to tighten around him. "Mer, please….please."

"Oh," she gasped as she let go of him, feeling him release into her just as she came in a hard wave, collapsing on top of him as she panted heavily. "Derek…"

"Wow," he gasped as he reached a shaky hand to run through her hair. "Oh, Mer…"

"That was amazing."

"Best surprise ever," Derek breathed.

"Hmm," Meredith sighed as she cuddled into him. "Thanks for the date," she whispered. "It was really nice."

"It was," Derek breathed. "I'm glad we did it."

"Me too," she sighed, reaching out to link her fingers through his. "And I do feel a little better about leaving the girls alone."

"Good," Derek smiled, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before leaning back into the pillows. "Are you ready for another round?"

"Already?" Meredith asked, raising an eyebrow as he rolled on top of her.

"Mmmhmm," Derek nodded, moving her hands to rest above her head. "Although this time I'm in charge."

Before Meredith could respond, a loud cry came over the baby monitor and Derek sighed, resting his head in her hair for a moment before he rolled off of her. "We need to soundproof this room," he stated as he watched Meredith pull on a robe and hurry towards the door. At least he'd gotten a little bit of passion, even if it wasn't the entire night that he had hoped for. But a man could dream.


	86. Chapter 86

"Derek, I really don't understand why we have to do this," Meredith sighed as he pulled their car into his mother's driveway.

"It's just a cook out," Derek laughed, turning to look at her as he parked the car. He took in her concerned face and tilted his head to the side as he reached out to tug gently on a strand of her hair. "Mer, what's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing," she sighed. "I just…the girls really shouldn't be outside for that long, so we should go home."

"We put sun block on them," Derek rolled his eyes as he moved out of the car to reach for Becky. "And they have their adorable little Yankees hats. They'll be completely fine."

"I guess," Meredith murmured as she reached for Melanie. She held her baby close to her, unable to resist a smile as Melanie nuzzled into her neck. "You didn't forget Mommy's birthday, did you sweetheart? Your daddy won't be getting any you know what from me for a long time, because he always remembers my birthday. So he's in big trouble this year."

"What are you two gossiping about?" Derek laughed as he walked around the car, Becky in one arm and diaper bag slung over his other shoulder, and he wrapped an arm around her waist.

"Nothing," Meredith sighed as she walked around the house to the backyard. As soon as they reached the backyard, she stopped short when she saw balloons and streamers, and the entire family gathered around a table that sat beside the porch. "What…" she blinked in surprise as Meg ran over to her, the rest of the family following with their own greetings.

"Happy birthday Aunt Meredith!" Meg cried, and a moment later Meredith found herself and Melanie engulfed in hugs and kisses and birthday wishes. She eventually found her bearings and returned the hugs with thanks.

"Happy birthday, Mer," Derek whispered when the family had backed away, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

Meredith blinked in surprise as she turned to him. "You remembered?" she breathed, moving closer to him.

"Of course I remembered," Derek frowned. "Have I ever forgotten your birthday? I'd never do that."

"Well…no," she sighed, leaning into him. "I just thought you did. Because we have kids now, and I don't know…"

"I'll never forget your birthday, Mer," Derek laughed, pulling her close. "And I did have a whole thing planned that included breakfast in bed, but then we had some excitement with our little girls starting to talk."

"They're not actually talking, Der," Meredith giggled. "Just making noise. To each other."

"Babbling," Derek sighed. "It's still exciting."

"Definitely," Meredith giggled.

"Basa nome bada," Melanie echoed Meredith's giggle, suddenly squirming in her arms. Meredith smiled as she saw Emma approaching and Melanie stretching her arms out for her grandmother.

"Someone wants to see Grandma," Meredith giggled as she handed Melanie over to Emma.

"Hello darling," Emma said, kissing the top of Melanie's head. "Happy birthday, Meredith, dear."

"Thank you," Meredith sighed.

"We've got plenty of food," Emma smiled. "And cake and presents of course. It's not a birthday party without presents."

"I can't believe you did this," Meredith said, leaning into Derek and rubbing a gentle hand along Becky's back.

"It was Derek's idea," Emma said, looking at her son. "He wanted to be sure that you could get out of the house and really enjoy your birthday. Not that you shouldn't celebrate with your daughters, but you should also allow your family to enjoy the day with you."

Meredith smiled as she turned to look at her husband. "Thank you," she whispered, leaning up to press her lips against his.

"You're welcome," Derek breathed against her lips. "And there will be a more private, less PG rated celebration later tonight."

"Hmm," Meredith giggled, running her hands through his hair. "Can't wait. It will be amazing."

"Good," Derek sighed. "Now let's go hand the girls off to our family and enjoy your birthday."

"She is much more social," Emma smiled down at Melanie. "And very talkative. That's a new development."

"They're starting to babble," Meredith sighed. "And they remember the family now, so they're not as scared to leave us."

"Meredith!" Kathleen called as she walked over to them. "Hi Becky," she giggled as her niece reached for her, squirming in Derek's arms. "Wow, you're getting so big. I can't believe this is my tiny niece."

"Well, it's official," Derek laughed, wrapping his arms around Meredith. "Our daughters officially love their aunts and grandma more than us. We can give them away now, they don't need us anymore."

Meredith giggled as she wrapped her arms around him as well. "At least we can feel like adults," she sighed.

"Food?" Derek asked.

"Definitely," Meredith nodded. "Um…feel free to pass them around," she said to Emma and Kathleen.

"As long as we get them back," Derek laughed.

"Don't worry, you'll get them back as soon as there's a dirty diaper," Kathleen nodded.

"Thanks Kath," Derek rolled his eyes.

"Hey, you did it to me," Kathleen smiled, looking down at Becky. "Come on sweetie, let's go play with your cousin Meg."

Meredith smiled as Derek led her to the table where the food was set up, breathing in deeply. "Real food," she breathed.

"Real food?" Derek asked, turning to her in amusement. "What do I cook for you?"

"Well…that's food, but I get sick of spaghetti," she shrugged. "It's the only thing I cook when you're at work."

Derek laughed as he handed her a plate with a cheeseburger on it. "Well, you can feel free to eat as much real food as you want," he laughed.

"Meredith!" Caitlin cried, hurrying over to her and Derek. "Happy birthday!"

"Thanks," Meredith smiled, handing Derek her plate to hug her sister in law tightly. "It's been too long since I've seen you."

"Well, it's about time you actually left the house," Caitlin smiled. "You look fantastic! Have you lost all your baby weight?"

"Most of it," Meredith nodded. "Although I don't think my boobs will ever be the same, but Derek doesn't seem to mind too much."

"Okay, things a little sister doesn't need to know," Caitlin grimaced.

"Sorry," Meredith smiled.

"Hey, I want you two to meet my new boyfriend," Caitlin said, eyeing Derek carefully. "Don't do anything stupid, Derbear."

"When have I ever done anything stupid?" Derek frowned.

"Just behave," Caitlin said. "I'll be right back."

Meredith smiled as she turned back to Derek. "You know, she's your only single sister now," she said.

"I know," Derek sighed.

"What are you going to do when she gets married?" Meredith teased. "There won't be anyone to harass."

"I have two daughters," Derek sighed. "And no man will ever be good enough for either of them."

Meredith giggled, but before she could say anything else, Caitlin returned.

"Meredith, Derek, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Andrew," she said, leaning into his arms.

Meredith dropped the fork she was holding into the bowl of macaroni salad and she felt Derek tense behind her, reaching out to wrap a protective arm around her waist.

"Andrew," Meredith breathed, staring at him in shock.

"Hey Mer," Andrew said softly. "It's um…it's good to see you."

"You two know each other?" Caitlin frowned.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Derek demanded as he stepped around Meredith to stand in front of Andrew.

"Derek," Meredith insisted, tugging on his hand.

"She's twenty two years old," Derek said, pointing to his sister. "And if you think you can use her to worm your way back to my wife…"

"Derek," Caitlin snapped, looking at Meredith. "What the hell is going on?"

"It's a long story," Meredith sighed. She started to pull Derek back, but rolled her eyes when she heard a loud cry come from somewhere in the yard. She whirled her head around to see Melanie struggling in Emma's arms as she reached for Derek. "Come here sweetheart," she sighed as she moved to take her screaming daughter from Emma. "Daddy's a little busy right now." Melanie continued to scream as Meredith attempted to comfort her, and she continued to reach for a fuming Derek. Meredith sighed as she rolled her eyes, wondering how her life had gotten to this point.

"Derek," Meredith sighed as she moved to stand beside him, struggling with a squirming Melanie. "She wants you."

Derek stared at Andrew for another long moment before he turned to take his daughter into his arms, his face melting as he gently spoke to her, rubbing her back as her screams calmed to soft whimpers. "Sorry if Daddy scared you, sweetheart," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

"You have a baby," Andrew stated, staring at the three of them.

Derek turned to look at him with anger in his eyes, but Melanie's babbles snapped him out of his anger and he nodded. "Two actually," he stated.

"Oh," Andrew blinked, looking at Meredith carefully. "Well…you look great, Mer. No one would ever know that you'd just had twins."

"You son of a…" Derek breathed, stepping closer and handing Melanie to Meredith.

"Derek," Meredith gasped as Melanie began to cry again and Meredith heard Becky's cries join her from somewhere behind her. "Derek, come with me. Now."

"Mer, he's…"

"Now," Meredith snapped, handing Melanie to him and moving to take Becky from Kathleen's arms. "We'll be right back," she said to Emma. "I just…have to talk some sense into him."

She pulled Derek towards the house, slamming the door closed behind him as she turned to look at him. "What in the world was that?" she asked as she leaned against the counter, holding Becky close to her.

"Mer, do you remember what he did?" Derek asked. "He tried to convince you not to marry me. And now he's dating my baby sister, and the way he looked at you…"

"I know," Meredith nodded. "He's horrible. But you can't just pick a fight with him, Derek. You terrified your daughters and you upset your sister."

"She should not be dating him," Derek argued.

"That's not up for you to decide," Meredith sighed. "It's my birthday, Derek. You don't have to go peeing all over your territory. You're my husband. You're the father of my babies. You're the only man I love, so Andrew…he can look as much as he wants. You're the one who gets to be with me."

Derek sighed as he leaned down to inhale Melanie's baby scent, knowing that his wife was right. "You're right," he sighed. "I'm sorry."

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to," Meredith rolled her eyes. "Derek, you can't just do stuff like that without thinking. You terrified Melanie. And when she starts screaming, Becky starts screaming. You can't scare our daughters like that."

"I know," Derek sighed, kissing the top of Melanie's head softly. "Sorry princess."

"And your sister," Meredith nodded. "She didn't deserve to be humiliated like that, Derek."

"I'll apologize," Derek sighed. "I just…that guy's a sore spot for me."

"I know," Meredith sighed. "I'm sorry, Derek, I really am. You know that he's my biggest regret."

"You don't need to," Derek sighed. "I know that you never really felt anything for him."

Meredith nodded as she leaned up to kiss him. "It's always been you, Der," she whispered. "How else would I have gotten these beautiful little girls?"

"Oh, so now the truth comes out," Derek laughed against her lips.

"If we go back out there will you promise to behave?" Meredith asked as she pulled back.

"I promise," Derek nodded.

"Okay," Meredith smiled, reaching for his hand. "Let's go."

"Abo mea pasa," Becky giggled as Meredith carried her back out to the backyard.

"Oh really?" Meredith smiled as she looked down at her daughter. "That's very interesting."

"Abo gaga!" Melanie shouted from Derek's arms.

"You're a very good talked, Mellie," Derek laughed as he settled onto a lawn chair beside his mother.

"Chatty like her daddy," Meredith smiled as she sat down next to Liz.

"Derek," Caitlin said hesitantly, looking at him carefully.

Derek sighed as he bounced Melanie slightly on his lap. "I'm sorry, Caitie," he said softly.

"Me too," she breathed, glancing at Andrew. "I didn't know…"

"Not now," Derek shook his head. "I'm sorry for losing my temper, but we don't have to do this now. It's Mer's birthday, we should just have fun."

"Okay," Caitlin said softly.

"Derek," Meredith giggled as Becky reached up to grab her hair. "Shawn wants to hear about pregnancy from the husband's side."

"Oh," Derek laughed. "That might take awhile."

"Hmm," Meredith smiled as he moved to sit down beside her, laughing as Melanie and Becky began babbling to one another.

"Do you think they're making up one of those twin languages?" she giggled.

"They're not old enough for that yet," Derek laughed as he looked down at them. "But they certainly do seem to understand each other."

Meredith smiled as she leaned into Derek, holding Becky tightly in her lap as she kissed him deeply. "I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," he murmured. "Happy birthday."

Meredith sighed as she settled into him, her eyes catching Andrew's for a moment. He was staring at them with wide eyes, as if really realizing that they were really happy. She blinked quickly as she turned her head down to look at her baby daughters. She wasn't sure how it would work with Andrew as apart of her family, but she knew it had to work. She was happy, Derek and her baby girls made her completely happy, and she wouldn't let her ex…whatever Andrew had been ruin that for her. Her family was together and happy, and that was completely perfect.


	87. Chapter 87

"Do you see the babies in the mirror?" Derek laughed as he sat on his living room floor, his baby girls giggling in front of him as they stared at the plastic mirror in front of them. "Those are some pretty beautiful babies, aren't they?"

"Aba no," Melanie smiled as she pushed her upper body off of the blanket, stretching to swat at the mirror.

"There's no baby behind there," Derek laughed. "That's you."

"Me ahhh!" Becky squealed, rolling onto her back and kicking her legs in the air.

"You're very cute," Derek nodded. "But play time's almost over. Daddy promised Mommy he'd get some laundry done. So you can come sit in your play pen and talk to Daddy."

"So na," Melanie frowned as she rolled onto her back.

"I know," Derek sighed. "And you used to be able to lay on the kitchen table while we did laundry but now that you know how to roll over, you can't do that anymore."

"Ma sa ba," Becky frowned as he reached to pick her up, then scooped Melanie into his other arm.

"Mommy's out with Aunt Lexie," Derek nodded. "I know she's your favorite, but you're going to have to deal with me until se gets home."

"Fa sa bala," Melanie sighed.

"I know, I'm a horrible mean Daddy," Derek laughed. "It's pretty obvious that you're both mommy's girls."

As he moved to place them gently in the play pen, the door bell sounded through the house, and both girls looked up at the ceiling curiously.

"Ba no?" Becky frowned.

"I don't know," Derek sighed as he placed a teddy bear in the play pen. "Tell the teddy bear what's going on in your busy lives while Daddy answers the door."

He moved to the front hall, frowning as he opened the door and saw Andrew staring back at him. "What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.

"I…is Meredith here?" Andrew asked.

"What do you want with her?" Derek asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I just want to talk to her," Andrew said, holding up his hands in mock defense. "I know she's in love with you."

"She's not here," Derek rolled his eyes. "And I don't think you should come back."

"Derek," Andrew sighed as he stepped into the house tentatively. "I know that you hate me, and honestly, I don't blame you. Meredith's amazing and I would be completely uncomfortable with anyone who threatened that."

"Are you done telling me how amazing my wife is?" Derek snapped. "Because I'm pretty sure I knew that when I married her."

"I didn't come here to talk to you about Meredith," Andrew argued.

Before Derek could respond, he heard Melanie yell loudly from the living room and he sighed. "Come in," he said, turning and walking towards the living room. "What's wrong sweetheart?" he asked, his voice softening as he looked into the play pen. "Did you lose your pacifier?" He reached into the playpen to hand her the pacifier back, running a hand over her head before he stood, turning to stare at Andrew as he looked at the pictures on the mantel.

"Is this when you and Mer went to Europe?" he asked, pointing to a picture of them in Paris.

"Don't call her Mer," Derek snapped, grabbing the picture out of his hands and placing it back on the mantel. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to tell you that you shouldn't take this out on Caitlin," Andrew said. "She's been really torn up these past couple weeks, and she thinks you hate her."

"I don't hate her," Derek rolled his eyes. "And I don't think my relationship with my sister is any of your business."

"It is," Andrew nodded. "Because I honestly didn't know she was your sister when I started dating her, but when she told me about Mer's party I couldn't exactly break up with her."

"I told you not to call her Mer," Derek snapped. "And the only reason I haven't punched you yet is because my daughters are in the room."

"I'm trying to apologize."

"I haven't heard the words I'm sorry."

Before either one of them could say anything else, the front door opened and Meredith's voice rang through the house. "I'm home," she giggled. "And you'll never believe the most adorable things I bought for…what the hell are you doing here?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out myself," Derek said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Look, I didn't come here to fight," Andrew said, his eyes flickering to the play pen as Melanie and Becky babbled excitedly at the sight of their mother entering the room.

"You should leave," Meredith sighed. "Caitlin told me she broke up with you last week."

Derek turned to face Andrew, his eyes flashing. "I don't know what the fuck you're up to," he said in a low, threatening voice. "But I do know that you're going to get the hell away from my family and never come near us ever again."

"Meredith," Andrew said, turning to her. "Please, can we just talk?"

Meredith glanced at him for a moment, her eyes flickering to Derek for a moment before she said softly, "Derek, why don't you take the girls upstairs? They're ready for a nap."

"Mer, if you think I'm going to leave you alone with him…"

"I'm fine, Derek," she sighed. "Please. Just…play with them or something."

"Mer…"

"Derek," she whispered, stepping closer to him, whispering in his ear. "This is my mess. Let me clean it up. I'm fine, I promise."

Derek sighed as he nodded, reaching to take the girls out of the playpen. "Okay," he sighed. "I'll just be upstairs."

Meredith nodded as she ran a hand over Melanie's head, watching him walk out of the room with the girls before turning back to Andrew. "Andrew," she breathed, looking at him closely. "What do you want from me?"

"I want you," Andrew said softly, stepping closer to her, causing her to step back as well.

"You're not going to get that," Meredith shook her head. "Andrew, I don't know what I need to do to convince you that it's never going to happen. We were…I was never over Derek. And I hate that I led you on, but that was two and a half years ago."

"But we're so good together," Andrew breathed. "I'm perfect for you, Meredith."

"No, Derek's perfect for me," Meredith argued, taking another step backwards.

"Remember how amazing we were together?" Andrew asked.

"We weren't amazing together," Meredith shook her head. "And you're crazy if you think I'd even consider leaving my family for you for a second."

Andrew stared at her for a moment before he reached out to cup her cheek in his hand. "Mer, just think about it," he whispered. "We can leave. Go anywhere in the world you want, and you won't have to worry about Derek or taking care of those babies."

Meredith's hand cracked against his cheek as she slapped him. "Don't you dare suggest that I ever want to leave my children," she snapped. "You obviously don't know me at all if you think that I would ever leave those girls."

"We could take them with us," Andrew breathed. "I have friends at the hospital, they could fake a DNA test."

"You are unbelievable," Meredith snapped. "Do you honestly think that anyone could look at Melanie and think that she's anyone but Derek's daughter?"

Andrew stared at her for a moment before he asked, "What can I do to convince you to be with me?" he asked.

"Nothing!" Meredith cried. "I don't know what else I can do to convince you that I'm madly in love with my husband, that even when I was trying to move on with you, I was completely head over heels in love with him!"

Andrew looked at her closely for a moment before he stepped back, smiling slightly. "You know there's nothing I wouldn't do to make it possible to be with you," he said softly. "And well…it would be a real shame if something happened to that perfect family of yours so they couldn't stand in the way anymore."

Meredith felt her blood run cold as she stared at him. "Stay away from my children," she said evenly.

Andrew smiled as he stepped towards the front door. "Have a good afternoon, Meredith," he said. "I hope you can enjoy some time with those beautiful girls of yours."

Meredith slammed the door closed behind it, snapping the lock and sliding the chain on before she thundered up the stairs, moving directly to the nursery. Derek was sitting on the floor in front of the girls as they giggled at their reflections in the mirror.

"Mer?" Derek asked softly as she leaned forward to grab Becky off the floor, hugging her tightly as Becky whimpered at the surprise change of scenery. "Are you okay?"

"We have to do something," Meredith breathed, holding Becky close to her. "Derek, he threatened to hurt you and the girls. We have to…go to the police or get out of the city… he can't hurt the girls, he can't."

"Oh, Meredith," Derek sighed, pulling Melanie into his arms. "I'm sure he was just trying to upset you."

"No," Meredith shook her head, tightening her arms around Becky and causing her to start crying. "You didn't see him, Derek, he's completely crazy. And the way he smiled when he was talking about the girls…I can't take the chance. We have to go somewhere, somewhere where he can't find us. If he…we just have to."

"Okay," Derek nodded, reaching out to pull her towards him. "You've got to calm down. You're scaring Becky."

Meredith took a deep breath as she loosened her grip on her daughter. "I'm sorry sweetheart," she whispered as she pressed a kiss to Becky's head. "Derek, I'm serious. I'm really terrified of what he can do, and if he comes out here, we're in the middle of nowhere. I know it sounds stupid, but I seriously can't let him hurt the girls. Or you."

"Okay," Derek sighed, standing carefully as he still cradled Melanie in his arms. "We can…I'll call Mom."

"He knows where she lives," Meredith whimpered.

"Mer," Derek sighed, reaching down to help her to her feet. "She'll know what to do. We'll go over there and call the cops, and I think you could use her right now."

"You don't believe me," Meredith whispered as she looked up at him.

"I believe that you're terrified," Derek said, pulling her closer. "And I hate that. So we'll do whatever we can to make sure you feel safe."

"Thank you," Meredith whispered. "I know I sound crazy, but I swear I'm not."

"Of course not," Derek nodded with a smirk. "No more than usual anyways."

"Shut up," Meredith sighed, holding Becky close to her as she reached for the diaper bag that sat beside the changing table. "I'll get the girls' stuff ready."

"I'll call Mom," Derek sighed as he placed Melanie in her crib, handing her a rattle as she babbled excitedly. "We'll be okay, Mer."

"I love you," Meredith whispered, turning to place Becky in Melanie's crib as well and looking at him with wide eyes. "The things he was saying…I just love you, Derek. Completely and totally. And there will never be anyone else. I promise."

"I love you too," Derek nodded, pulling her in to kiss her gently. "And there will never be anyone else for me either. Hasn't been since the moment we met."

"Corny," Meredith whispered as she pressed her lips against his again. "But thank you for humoring me."

Derek squeezed her tightly before he moved towards the door. "I'll be right back," he promised.

"Okay," Meredith sighed as she shoved some onesies and diapers into the diaper bag. She put some stuffed animals in at the top and zipped it closed before she turned back to her daughters. "Mommy's sorry if she scared you," she whispered. "But we're going to go stay with Grandma for a couple days. That will be fun, won't it?"

"Basa pa no," Melanie said, holding her arms out to Meredith.

"I knew you'd see it my way," Meredith nodded as she pulled the girl into her arms.

"Okay," Derek sighed as he walked back into the room, immediately pulling Becky into his arms as she reached for him. "Mom says we can come over as soon as we want. And she'll activate her alarm system again and call her friend who's high up in the police department."

"Thank you," Meredith breathed as she leaned into him. "I'm sorry, Derek, I really am."

"Don't be sorry," Derek shook his head. "I promised you I'd always keep you safe. So that's what I'm doing."

"I love you," she whispered.

"I love you too," Derek said, kissing her softly before he turned to look at Becky. "What do you think, butterfly? Are you ready to go play with Grandma?"

"Bama la saba," Becky giggled.

"Good," Derek nodded. "Ready to go?"

"Yeah," Meredith sighed as she grabbed the diaper bag and followed him down the stairs. "Make sure you actually lock the door."

"I've got it, Mer," he nodded as he locked the door behind them, turning to the car and settling Becky into her car seat. "We'll be fine. I promise."

"I hope so," Meredith sighed as she leaned down to kiss Melanie's forehead as the little girl giggled excitedly in her seat.

"It will be good for you to have Mom help you out with the girls," Derek nodded. "And I'll call into work so we can just have some family time."

"Hiding out from a psycho," Meredith muttered.

"Mer," Derek breathed, reaching for her hand. "I know you're scared. And I hate the guy too. But you have to calm down. I don't need you freaking out over this."

"Its kind of hard not to freak out over this, Derek," she snapped. "He thinks that if you and the girls are out of the picture I'll be willing to go back to him. And if I had never been with him in the first place, none of this would be happening. So I'm sorry if I'm completely freaking out over this."

"Okay," Derek sighed as he pulled into his mother's driveway. "But try not to scare the girls, okay? They can tell when you're upset, and they don't like it."

"I know," Meredith said, taking a deep breath before she got out of the car and smiled nervously down at Melanie. "Hi sweetheart," she said as she lifted her into her arms. "I promise I'll make sure you're safe. You don't need to worry, baby."

Derek wrapped an arm around her as they walked towards the front door. "We'll be fine, Mer," he said. "Nothing will happen. I promise."

Meredith sighed as she pressed a kiss to Melanie's head, smiling softly when Emma pulled the door open. "Mom," she whispered, her eyes suddenly filling with tears.

"Oh, darling," Emma sighed, pulling Derek and Meredith into the house and leading them into the living room. "How are you?" she asked as Meredith placed Melanie in the play pen beside the couch.

"Mom," Meredith whispered again, cuddling into Emma's arms and letting the tears fall. "I don't…I can't…"

"It's okay," Emma breathed, rocking Meredith gently as she guided her to the couch. "Just let it all out."

"My babies," Meredith whispered, sobs taking over her body. "He wants to hurt my babies."

"We won't let him," Emma said, smoothing Meredith's hair back from her forehead. "I have one of the best police officers in the city on his way over right now, and we're going to be sure that he won't be allowed near you again."

"We'll get a restraining order if that's what it takes, Mer," Derek murmured, sitting down on her other side and rubbing her back gently. "Whatever we need to do."

Meredith gasped as she shifted her weight from Emma to Derek. They were going to be okay. She had worked too hard to finally get her happily ever after. And they had to be okay.


	88. Chapter 88

"Alright, Mrs. Shepherd," Officer Peters sighed an hour later as he snapped his notebook closed and stood. "We're going to go talk to this guy, but I can't promise a restraining order without the proper evidence."

"Evidence?" Derek asked, his hand moving in slow circles along Meredith's back. "What kind of evidence do you need?"

"Well, I'm not going to say that his words to your wife didn't matter," Officer Peters said. "But we need to have more solid basis for a restraining order. A threat others have overheard, some sort of attempt at physical violence."

"So you can't make sure my family is safe until they've already been hurt?" Derek snapped.

"No," Officer Peters said. "We're going to be sure to talk to this guy, let him know we're watching and as soon as he makes one wrong move we're jailing his ass. But as for keeping him legally away from you two…I can't do much about that at this point."

"So what do we do?" Meredith asked. "We live in the middle of nowhere, I can't go back there and feel safe."

"I'm sure Emma will be alright with letting you stay here as long as you feel comfortable, Mrs. Shepherd," Office Peters said. "And we'll be sure to let you know as soon as we've brought him in."

"That's it?" Derek demanded. "He threatens my wife, my daughters, and you're just going to give him a slap on the wrist?"

"It's all we can do," Officer Peters sighed. "We'll patrol the house a couple times tonight, make sure everything's alright. And here's my cell phone number if something happens, don't hesitate to call."

"Thank you, Alex," Emma sighed as she stood to walk towards the door. "Please let us know if you need anything else from us."

"Of course, Emma," Officer Peters nodded.

Emma smiled as she closed the door behind him, turning back to the living room and smiling widely at Derek and Meredith. "Alright, who's ready for some spaghetti for dinner?" she asked. "I thought I'd make some garlic bread as well."

"I'm not hungry," Meredith sighed as she reached for Becky and leaned into the couch, holding her daughter close to her.

"Mer, you have to eat," Derek sighed as he reached for Melanie.

"Maybe later," she sighed.

"Why don't you just try a little bit?" Derek asked, running a hand over her hair.

"Okay," she whispered.

"That's my girl," Derek smiled, pressing his lips to her head.

"Come on, dear," Emma smiled. "You can help me while Derek watches the girls. He doesn't get nearly enough alone time with them since he works such unusual hours."

"Just make sure you don't leave her alone in the kitchen," Derek laughed as he took Becky from her arms.

"Not funny," Meredith rolled her eyes, but a small giggle escaped her lips.

"There we are," Derek smiled. "I love the giggle."

"I love you," Meredith sighed, kissing him quickly before she turned to follow Emma into the kitchen.

"Alright, dear, why don't you put the garlic spread on the bread?" Emma sighed as she placed the items on the counter, then reached for the spaghetti pot.

"Sure," Meredith nodded. She settled onto a bar stool and reached for the knife, cutting the bread in two and looking at Emma carefully. "You don't think I'm crazy, right?"

"Of course not," Emma sighed, turning to look at her. "You're scared, dear, and I can't imagine what you must be thinking right now."

"I'm thinking that if I'd never broken up with Derek in the first place none of this would have happened," Meredith whispered, placing the knife on the cutting board and looking down at her hands. "And then we wouldn't be here, putting you in danger."

"Oh, dear," Emma shook her head. "Don't worry about me. This house is plenty safe. I made sure of that after Michael…well, you're safe here."

"I know," Meredith whispered. "And I really appreciate it. It can't be easy to have your grown son barging in here with his paranoid wife and tiny babies."

"I'm more than happy that you're here," Emma nodded. "And you are not paranoid. You're protecting your children."

Before Meredith could respond, there was a series of loud bangs, followed by the sound of shattering glass from the front of the house, and the alarm sounded loudly throughout the house. Meredith jumped off her stool and ran towards the living room, Emma following closely with the phone in her hands.

"Derek," Meredith breathed as she saw him crouched on the behind the couch, holding their wailing daughters close to him. "What happened? What was that? Are you okay? Are the girls okay?"

"I don't know," Derek breathed as she reached out to take Melanie into her arms, running her hands over her closely. "I…I think it was gunshots."

"Derek," Meredith breathed as she leaned into him, kissing him quickly before she pulled back and ran a hand over her daughter's back. "It's okay, Mellie," she whispered. "You're okay."

"What happened?" Emma breathed as she ran back in. "Is everyone okay?"

"We're okay," Derek nodded as he tried to calm Becky's sobs.

"It was him," Meredith breathed, turning to look at him with wide eyes, tears filling them. "Derek, he's seriously trying to hurt you."

"The police are here," Emma sighed as a car pulled into the driveway. "They called in response to the alarm."

"Derek," Meredith whispered, leaning into him. "What…"

"It's okay, Mer," he sighed, pulling her close. "We're fine."

"But you might not have been," she whimpered. "You could have…"

"I didn't," Derek shook his head. "Meredith, we're fine."

"I know," she said, leaning down to kiss the top of Becky's head. "I know."

The doorbell rang a moment later, and a voice followed, stating that it was the Seattle Police Department. "Stay with the girls," Derek ordered as he handed Becky to Meredith and stood, moving in front of his mother to open the door.

"Dr. Shepherd," Officer Peters said as he stepped into the house. "Emma, we've heard the reports of gunshots. We had a lead on the shooter, but we wanted to make sure that there were no injuries."

"You didn't get him?" Meredith exclaimed as she stormed out of the living room. "How could you have not caught him?"

"Mer," Derek sighed, tugging on her hand. "Calm down."

"No, I'm not going to calm down," Meredith replied. "Well, this is at least grounds for a restraining order, isn't it?"

"Mrs. Shepherd," Officer Peters said carefully. "As much as I believe you and want to catch this bastard as much as I do. But there's no way that we could know that he's the one who fired the gun."

"Of course he is!" Meredith shouted. "What kind of cop are you? I'm a better detective after watching Law and Order! Seriously? Seriously!"

"Meredith," Derek sighed, pulling her back into the living room. "You have got to calm down."

"I can't calm down," Meredith gasped, leaning into him and wrapping her arms tightly around his neck. "Derek, he's out there and he has a gun and he wants to kill you and our babies. So no, I'm not going to calm down!"

Derek sighed as he wrapped his arms tightly around her, resting his chin on the top of her head. "I know you're scared," he whispered, rubbing her back tightly. "I know, but it's okay. Everyone's okay, and the police are going to take care of it."

"But they're not," she whispered. "They're not taking care of it, so how am I supposed to calm down?"

"Because I promised I would never let you feel unsafe," Derek whispered. "And we're going to be fine. Why don't we take the girls upstairs and have some family time? They'll love getting to play with the two of us until bed time."

Meredith sighed as she cuddled into him. "Okay," she whispered softly.

"There we go," Derek said. "Are you okay?"

"No," she shook her head. "I will be. As soon as he's gone."

Before Derek could respond, his mother's voice called him and Meredith into the hallway, and he led her into the hallway. "What's going on?" Derek asked, looking between Emma and Officer Peters as he pulled Meredith close.

"Some colleagues of mine found him about a block over," Officer Peters sighed. "We're going to bring him in for questioning, try and get a confession out of him."

Meredith stared at him for a moment before she asked, "So that's it?"

"That's it," Officer Peters nodded. "It may take awhile for him to give it up, but I've got some pretty good detectives working for me. We'll get this taken care of. I'm going to keep a patrol car on the house for the night to ensure that he actually is our guy, but that's just a precaution. Based on what you've told me, I'm just as positive as you are that this guy's behind all of this."

"Good," Meredith breathed, leaning into Derek.

"We're going to have to send a crime scene unit into your living room to look for bullets," Officer Peters said to Emma. "They'll board it up for you as well."

"Thank you," Emma said again as she moved towards the door.

"See Mer," Derek sighed as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. "I told you everything would be okay."

"Thank God," Meredith sighed, leaning into him for another moment before she moved back to the living room, pulling Becky out of the play pen. "We're okay, sweetheart. We're safe now."

"Hmm," Derek sighed as he reached for Melanie and moved towards the door. "Let's let the crime scene unit do their job," he said.

"Right," Meredith nodded, following him out of the room.

"Ga ba so la!" Melanie cried as she saw Emma standing in front of the staircase.

"Come here dear," Emma smiled as she reached for Melanie. "How are you two doing?" she asked, looking at Derek and Meredith as she bounced Melanie slightly.

"Okay," Meredith sighed.

"I'm sorry about your house, Mom," Derek said. "We'll take care of getting that fixed."

"There's no need to be sorry," Emma shook her head. "And I'm sure that the insurance will take care of it."

"Well we are sorry," Meredith sighed. "We shouldn't have gotten you involved, but… we didn't know where else to go."

"You can always come here," Emma nodded. "Please don't worry about me. I'm pretty tough for an old lady."

"You're anything but old," Derek laughed, leaning in to kiss her cheek carefully.

"Ba so na lo," Melanie whimpered as she rubbed her eyes slightly.

"Oh princess," Derek sighed as he reached for her. "Are you tired."

"Ba so ma," Melanie whimpered as she leaned into her dad's embrace.

"We should put them down," Meredith whispered as Becky's eyes drifted shut. "They didn't get their second nap today."

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "We'll be right back down, Mom."

"No hurry," Emma smiled as she watched Derek and Meredith disappear up the stairs.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Derek asked as he set Melanie on the bed and reached for a clean diaper.

"A little shaken up," Meredith nodded, starting to change Becky. "But…relieved."

"Me too," Derek nodded, slipping Melanie into her pajamas and kissing the top of her head. "We're okay."

"We're more than okay," Meredith nodded as she settled Becky into the crib they'd set up in Derek's old room.

"We are," he nodded, as he placed Melanie beside her sister and pulled Meredith close, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his chin against her shoulder. "They're amazing."

Meredith smiled as she ran her fingernails gently up and down his arms, watching as Melanie's hand found Becky's even though they were both sound asleep. "They're perfect," she nodded.

"I can't believe how lucky we are," Derek whispered. "We have this amazing house, a completely wonderful marriage, and the most perfect babies in the entire world."

"Hmm," Meredith nodded, leaning back into him. "Even if my husband is lame and corny."

"I'm not lame and corny," Derek frowned.

"You kind of are," Meredith giggled as she turned in his arms. "But it's okay. I love you anyways."

"I love you too," he whispered, pressing his lips to hers.

Meredith sighed as she moved to sit down on the bed, smiling as he followed her, sitting down next to her and brushing some hair out of her eyes. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," Meredith smiled, lacing her fingers through his. "Just thinking of everything I could have lost. In one moment."

"But you didn't," Derek pointed out softly.

"I know," Meredith breathed. "And I'm so grateful for that."

"But…" Derek prompted.

"But I don't know how I'm going to be able to not think about it," Meredith whispered. "I don't want to look at you or the girls for the rest of my life and be desperate not to come that close to losing you again. I don't want to live in fear."

"You won't," Derek shook his head. "It might take a little while, but you won't live in fear forever. You've got a lot of other things to think about."

"I do," Meredith smiled softly.

"Mmmhmm," Derek nodded, leaning forward to kiss her. "You've got to think about being a good mom….About being a good teacher…a good wife."

"I do have to make sure my husband is…satisfied," Meredith giggled slightly as she reached up to cup his face in her hands.

"Too bad you can't satisfy me now," Derek breathed.

"Our daughters are in the room," Meredith giggled, pulling back and taking his hand again.

"And that would be very bad."

"Very very bad."

"Are you hungry?" Derek murmured.

"Starving," Meredith sighed as she reached into their diaper bag, pulling out the baby monitor.

"My girl's always prepared," Derek smiled as she set the base unit up on the nightstand.

"It's part of being a mom," she sighed as she stood, taking his hand and pulling him towards the door. "Let's go."

"Bossy," Derek smirked.

"I'm a mom," Meredith shrugged. "And a teacher. That means double bossiness."

"Good thing I think it's hot when you're bossy," Derek laughed against her lips.


	89. Chapter 89

"Sa co Ra aba."

The sounds of babbling came over the baby monitor and pulled Derek from a deep sleep, causing him to groan and bury his face further into his wife's neck.

"Go get your baby," she murmured, rolling into the pillow.

Derek sighed as he tightened his arms around her. "Do I have to?" he asked.

"If you ever want to have the opportunity to make another baby, then yes," Meredith nodded.

"Fine," Derek sighed, pulling out o bed and moving towards the door.

"Hey bud," he sighed as he opened the door to the nursery, reaching for his son. "Did you enjoy waking Mommy and me?"

"Sa co," his baby nodded.

"Well, I'm glad to see you've taken after me in your sleeping habits at least," Derek sighed as he carried him back into their bedroom. "Say hi to Mommy."

"Sa ka co."

"Hey Chris," Meredith giggled, turning over in bed and reaching for her son. "You really are your father's son."

"You say that like it's a bad thing," Derek laughed as he slid back into bed, running a hand over Chris's head, already covered in the dark Shepherd curls.

"I suppose not," Meredith sighed as she rested the baby between them. "How long until the little angels are awake?"

"Hmm," Derek sighed, looking at the clock. "Well, it's six thirty, so one would have thought that they would have been up an hour ago."

"I hate you for giving my children freaky sleeping habits."

"I'd be hurt if I thought you meant that."

Before Meredith could respond, their door burst open and Melanie ran in, followed closely by her sister.

"Morning Mommy!"

"Morning Daddy!"

"Good morning girls," Derek laughed as he pulled Becky into his arms, tickling her gently.

"Morning Chris," Melanie smiled as she climbed over Meredith to give her brother a sloppy kiss, causing him to giggle loudly.

"Daddy," Becky sighed from Derek's arms.

"Yes?" Derek asked, smiling at Meredith over their children's heads.

"Can we have chocolate chip pancakes?"

"With lots of syrup?" Melanie added, her eyes wide.

"Well, how can I say no to those eyes?" Derek laughed as he leaned forward to kiss Melanie as well. "Do I get special helpers? Or are you going to stay and cuddle with Mommy?"

"Mommy," Becky giggled, moving into Meredith's arms.

"Careful," Meredith sighed as Becky climbed over Chris to cuddle with her mother.

"Sorry Chris," Becky sighed.

"I'll take him," Derek said. "Us men will cook for our girls."

"Say thank you Daddy," Meredith smiled as she cuddled their three year old girls close to her.

"Alright, little man," Derek smiled as he held his three month old baby on his shoulder. "We'll make breakfast for Mommy and the girls, how does that sound?"

"Sa ca ra ah," Chris nodded.

"Good," Derek sighed, placing his son in his bouncy chair on the kitchen table and moving to the stove.

The past three years had somehow turned into a very amazing blur. After that terrible night that had sent Andrew to prison, Meredith had become even more obsessed with caring for their family, and had completely surprised him when she'd told him that she didn't want to go back to work until the girls were in school, and he had been more than supportive of her decision to remain a stay at home mom. Their daughters had loved it, and Meredith had been happier than he'd ever seen.

Things hadn't been exactly easy, but he wouldn't have traded any of it. He made sure to take Meredith out to dinner at least once a week, and she had been more than willing to go out with Lexie and Liz when he had nights off as well. They'd had a little bit of trouble a couple years ago when Meredith had miscarried, but they'd come out of it stronger than ever.

And then a year ago his wife had presented him with the amazing news that she was pregnant again. It had been an easy pregnancy, but the first half had been spent in complete terror that it would end in miscarriage, but three and a half months ago, in the middle of an entire city power outage, Christopher Adam Shepherd had been born, and Derek finally had his son.

His daughters hadn't exactly been happy with the idea of sharing their parents at first, but they had adjusted to the idea after a few weeks, and they now loved their baby brother completely. He couldn't believe how quickly the first three years of their life had gone, from their first word-Melanie's had been Becka, and Becky's Mellie- to their first steps and development into real people. They both had such amazing energy and real love for life. Becky was loud and always excited, and loved to visit Daddy at the hospital. Melanie, a bit quieter and more fond of curling up with Mommy while she read to her, had just as much energy for life.

"Daddy," Becky giggled as she ran into the kitchen. "Are the pancakes done yet?"

"Almost butterfly," Derek smiled, hoisting her onto his hip and pressing a kiss to her forehead. "Where's your sister?"

"With Mommy," Becky sighed. "They're slow."

"Hmmm," Derek said. "Did someone run down the stairs like we're not supposed to?"

Becky squirmed in his arms, picking at the thread on his shirt. "No."

"Rebecca Elizabeth Shepherd."

"Maybe."

"You know we don't run on the stairs," Derek said gently.

"Sorry Daddy."

"It's okay," Derek nodded. "But next time you're going to get a toy taken away. You don't want that, do you?"

"No," she shook her head quickly, her blonde waves whipping him in the face.

"Okay," Derek smiled as he moved to sit her at the table, setting a plate of pancakes in front of her.

"Me too, Daddy!" Melanie shouted as she ran to the table, Meredith following.

"Here you are princess," Derek smiled as Meredith reached for Chris, moving towards the fridge to pull a bottle out.

"Thanks, Daddy," Melanie said as she shoved a mouthful of pancakes into her mouth.

"You're welcome," Derek smiled, turning to Meredith. "He's eating okay?"

"He is," Meredith sighed. "I wish he would start sleeping through the night."

"Soon," Derek sighed, flipping more pancakes onto the plate. "I hope."

"The girls were three weeks younger than he was when they started sleeping through the night," Meredith said.

"Well, they're perfect little angels," he smiled. "What?" he asked when Meredith giggled.

"I just think it's amusing that your perfect little angels decided to draw pictures on the kitchen table using maple syrup," Meredith smiled.

Derek whirled his head around to see Melanie and Becky giggling as they stuck their hands into the syrup on their plates before moving their sticky hands over the dark wood.

"Girls," he sighed as he moved closer to them. "No more syrup."

"What?" Melanie frowned.

"We need it Daddy!"

"If you want do draw there's paper and crayons in your playroom," Meredith sighed as she moved to burp Chris. "But first you need to wash your hands."

"Can we play outside?" Melanie asked as Derek lifted her to reach the water running from the sink.

"Yeah, it's sunny!" Becky added.

"Sure," Derek laughed. "Go get dressed, and Mommy and I will eat breakfast."

"Okay!" the girls cried as they rook each other's hands and ran out of the kitchen.

"Walk on the stairs!" Meredith called after them.

Derek sighed as he set a plate of pancakes in front of his wife, taking Chris from her arms and looking down at his son. "Your sisters are crazy," he sighed as he bounced Chris in his lap. "Just like Mommy."

"Mommy heard that," Meredith smiled.

"We've got to go fishing soon, bud," Derek said. "Grab Mark and Jake and have a man's weekend."

"Not for awhile," Meredith sighed as she moved her plates to the dishwasher.

"Fine," Derek sighed.

"We're ready to go play!" Melanie cried as she and Becky ran back into the room.

"Okay," Meredith smiled, moving towards the backdoor. "Daddy and I will sit on the porch with Chris. You remember the rules?"

"If we can't see you, you can't see us," Becky nodded.

"And no pushing."

"Or biting."

"Or hair pulling."

"Very good," Derek smiled. "Go ahead."

He watched as his little girls ran out the back door, giggling loudly. "They have so much energy," he sighed as he and Meredith settled onto the couch on their porch, watching as Becky reached for the bubble solution kept under the porch.

"They're three," Meredith sighed as she leaned into him, resting her head against his shoulder and rubbing Chris's back. "Just thing what this one will be like at that point."

"He'll be crazy," Derek laughed. "I'm pretty sure Jake has more energy than Mel and Becky combined."

"It will be an adventure," Meredith sighed. "The girls will be in school by then."

"Hmm," Derek nodded. "They're getting big so fast."

"They are," Meredith said. "But they're amazing."

"Completely," Derek nodded.

"Did you ever think we would end up like this?" she whispered.

"This has always been the plan," Derek nodded, his eyes sparkling as he looked down at her. "Babies, a house, a lifetime…I've always wanted it all with you."

"And do you have it now?"

"I do," Derek said, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Although the more kids the better, I say."

"Derek Christopher Shepherd," Meredith sighed. "There is no way I'm having another baby."

"We need more boys," Derek said. "Chris and I are outnumbered."

"I told you, when you figure out how to carry the children, you can have as many as you want," Meredith shrugged. "Until then we're going back to being a condom ad."

"Okay," Derek laughed as he squeezed her. "You're happy, aren't you, Mer?"

"Of course," Meredith nodded, shifting to look up at him. "Do you think I'm not happy?"

"No, I do," he nodded. "I just promised to make sure you'll always be happy. And I know you made the decision to be a stay at home mom, but…I'm glad you're happy."

"This isn't ever how I thought my life would end up," she admitted as she leaned her head against his chest again, watching her daughters giggle at the bubbles they were blowing into the air. "When I decided to become a teacher, it was because I thought I would never have my own kids."

"You never told me that," Derek murmured into her hair.

"I just…with everything my mom did before we were together…paying off my boyfriends and everything, I didn't think I would ever trust anyone enough to have kids."

"And then you met me," Derek smirked.

"You made it…easier to imagine," Meredith whispered. "And then I slowly allowed myself to believe that I could have this, that I could be a good mother and a good wife."

"You're an amazing mother," Derek assured her. "And a completely outstanding wife."

"Good," Meredith sighed.

"Ga fa," Chris interrupted, reaching for Meredith as he squirmed in Derek's arms.

"See," Derek laughed. "Chris agrees."

"Daddy," Becky cried as she and Melanie climbed onto his lap, both of them wrapping their arms around his neck.

"Why do I think you want something?" Derek laughed.

"Will you come play with us?" Melanie asked, her blue eyes wide.

"Hmmm," Derek sighed, pretending to think. "I don't know. I think I might need a kiss from two very pretty three year olds."

Becky giggled as she kissed Derek on the cheek, her sister following suit. "Now Daddy?"

"Of course, butterfly," Derek nodded, turning to Meredith. "You stay here and keep Mommy company, okay bud?" he said, rubbing Chris's back before turning to kiss Meredith softly. "I love you."

"I love you too," Meredith smiled, running her hand over his cheek before she pulled back.

Derek laughed as he stood, chasing his daughters down the steps of the porch to the green grass that overlooked the city. She smiled as she leaned back into the pillows, unable to believe that this was her life. There had been a point where she hadn't even believed in love, and had given up hope of ever having this. But she hadn't and because of Derek she was here, in the most amazing house in the world and a mother to the cutest kids she'd ever met, even if she was a little biased.

More than anything, she couldn't actually believe that she had Derek. He'd managed to completely break down all the barriers she had placed around her heart, making sure that she didn't miss out on the amazing feeling of being in love. Through the past five years, she and Derek had been through a lot, but she couldn't even imagine getting through it without Derek. He'd managed to become her rock through everything, and she knew that she loved him now more than ever.

"Ma da so ba," Chris giggled from her lap as Melanie and Becky tackled Derek to the ground, giggling loudly as they climbed on top of him, tickling him wildly.

"That's right," Meredith whispered as she rested her chin gently on her son's head. "They're playing with Daddy. Soon you'll be able to play too, and we can all gang up on him."

Derek looked up from his giggling daughters, meeting Meredith's eyes in that moment, and she knew this was perfection. Her life was perfect, and she owed it all to the moment when Derek Shepherd had stepped into her classroom nearly six years ago and she'd accidentally fallen in love.

**Alright, so I know this ending might seem a little unexpected, and I could have dragged this story out for a little longer, but I just thought it was a good point to finish. They're happy and in love, and have amazing kids. I'm so grateful to all of you for reading, and I hope you'll all read my new fic, which should be up later tonight or tomorrow. Thanks for Reading and Reviewing, it's much appreciated!**


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